Ed Kemper Interviews | Chronological Order | From 1981 - 1991 | Video Footage

[Music] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] when someone abandons himself to being a victim he's gonna have to be one with an IQ of 136 kemper is now the prisons best reader of books for the blind I'm saying I'd wanted to kill my mother since I was eight years old and I'm not proud of that it started with surrogates at that a non human level physical objects my possessions other people's destruction of things that are cared about and then its destruction of things that are living on a lower level small animals insects animals and then finally people it started coming to a head again so I went back down I ran away back down there and then a month later I'm up living with my grandparents in the mountains and ten months later I murdered them it made it worse to be on top of a mountain I was literally on top of a mountain when it happened and I could sense I sensed everybody in the world to stop and what they were doing turning around saw what I did and are coming to get me and I knew I was paranoid at that moment I knew anybody that came up there and gave me a funny look or a fishy eye or quizzical look out of blown their brains out thinking they were coming to get me and if it'd been in a city I'd have been a mass murderer at age fifteen I would have killed until they gunned me down I wouldn't have been able to reason why way out of it I was scared to death and I was violent I felt my work back hit that wall I was the rabbit that always ran that always backed away always burned his bridges suddenly there weren't any more and my back hit that wall and I came out screaming and kicking and shooting he was released to the one person that authorities of the state mental hospital recommended he never see again I got paroled to my mother at a Scutaro decided that I didn't ever need to talk to her again at all don't give her a Christmas present leave her alone she got her pound of flesh out of you I wasn't sniveling about my mother to them I didn't like to hear what they had to say about her she went through three husbands like a hot knife through butter when four months after I was out I was back into the fantasy bag my first date was an absolute disaster wasn't her fault you know and I didn't blame or even then I'm saying it was a terrible tragedy but boy it was boy she didn't ever talk to me again it was awful it wasn't sexual or grabbing at her no that was just such a dork taking her to a John Wayne movie in denny's it's terrible I've never been on a date at sixteen that was cool you know I've never been on a date you know I was locked up since I was 15 but I can't tell her that oh gee you don't mind me you know she kind of got a hung up on my looks or whatever you know we should have gorgeous young lady pure class and she saw something there that I guess wasn't there and what she found out quick I was losing a grasp on something that was too violent to keep inside forever as I'm sitting there with a severed head in my hand talking to it or looking at it and I'm about to go crazy literally I'm about to go completely flywheel loose and just fall apart I say wow this is insane and I told myself no what isn't you're saying that and that makes it not insane I said I'm saying and I'm looking at a 7 I said well wait a minute wait a minute that's the only paints of paintings and drawings of Viking heroes talking to severed heads and taken when the parties old enemies and leather bags part of our heritage this is me back then in 1972 and 73 unable to live with the fact that I just stabbed to death and cut the throat of an innocent young woman innocent in the sense that she did not plan on that happening she didn't do anything specifically for that to happen to her if she was a very active participant in her own death and in my memory of that she was 19 years old and her roommate in the trunk who died right after that was 18 letting go hog-wild and totally let what I'm saying is I found myself doing things in an attempt to make things fit together inside I was doing sexual probings and things I mean in a sense of striking out a reaching out and grabbing and pulling to me but a peril it the sense that it wasn't working that isn't the way it's supposed to be doesn't the way I want it so I'm saying and yet I get during that time I become engaged to someone who's young and is beautiful and very much the same advantages and they're very much the same upbringing and Disneyland values and she's very much the reason I surrendered I picked up two girls who were so much like the first two it was unbelievable almost identical circumstances and I let him go everything went towards killing him and I but I'm saying wow it's uncanny it was almost like it was meant to be that way and I said wow I've got this gotta stop and I let them out they never even knew what was going on I let them out I would have gotten away with those two being murdered I said no it's got to stop and a week later I murdered my mother went back to Santa Cruz and killed her I am an American and I killed Americans I am a human being and I killed human beings and I did it in my society you were able to appear like a ordinary person non-threatening - I lived as an ordinary person most of my life even though I was living a parallel on increasing my signal what other life one victim let me back in the car I locked myself out she opened the door for me my gun was under the seat what the hell am i doing telling you that am I looking at my masochist am I looking to be tormented further I'm trying to show you just how awful the Scott how commanding his rage is Scott I was raging inside there was just incredible energies positive and negative depending Lonnie mood that would trigger one or the other and outside I looked troubled at times other times I looked moody other times perfectly serene not very sane but again people weren't even aware of what was happening you were involved in a campus because your mother worked there yes I was also involved in killing coeds because my mother was associated with college work college co-eds women and had had very strong and violently outspoken position on men for much of my upbringing my mother was a sick angry hungry and very sad woman I hated her but I wanted to love my mother and I watched the alcohol increase I watched her social life drop off I watched her get bizarre she had terrible pain from her life earlier life her up bring a failed marriage of my father I'm a constant reminder of that failure I hate to distill it down into such into one word reality is like that there's a lot that leads into that happening but that is what happened they represented not what my mother was but what she liked what she coveted what was important to her and I was destroying it why did you actually kill the girls my frustration my inability to communicate socially sexually I wasn't impotent but emotionally I was impotent I was scared to death of failing and male-female relationships I knew absolutely nothing about that whole area even if just sitting down and talking with young lady I need to be able to really communicate and ironically enough that's why I began picking people up and I'm picking up young women and I'm going a little bit farther each time it's a daring kind of a thing at first there wasn't a gun I'm driving along we'd go to a vulnerable place but there aren't people watching where I could act out and I say no I can't and then a gun is in the car hidden and this craving this awful raging eating feeling inside I could feel it consuming my insides this fantastic passion it was overwhelming me it was like drugs it was like alcohol a little isn't enough at first it is and as you adjust to that psychologically and physically you take more and more and more it's the same process so it finally came down to the thing of do I dare bring this gun out already realizing if that gun comes out something has to happen it was going to happen I didn't see it then but it was going to happen I was playing a dangerous game with a loaded gun it got us all when that gun was pulled out I launched it out Friday I had it under my leg out of sight parallel to my to my leg in the seat it was something that had been thought out in fantasy acted out felt out hundreds of times before it ever happened Kemper drove them at gunpoint to a secluded area near a park he took one of them into the woods leaving the second girl tied in the car I just gone through a horrible experience with her roommate stabbing her and I was in shock because of that I couldn't believe that it was that way and I'm walking back there bewildered I got a killer I can't let her go she's kind of telling me everybody's gonna get she sees the blood on my hands what are you doing she pulled back and she gasped and I think whoa I don't want her to know what happened I said your friend got smart with me she'd been getting really smart with me a lot but I never hit her I killed her but I didn't hit her I said your friend got smart with me and I hit her I think I broke her nose she better come help she's about to die why don't why does she have to know that I couldn't deal with telling her that and when I attacked her she didn't at first realize what was happening it didn't go through she had a very heavy coveralls on it knocked her right up into the lid of the car but it didn't pierce the clothing so wasn't that swallow knife anyway I went up bought a pawn shop huge knife and I kept on to just mindlessly attacking she falls back into the trunk I just killed a young woman I slammed down the lid of the trunk she isn't dead she's dying and I panicked I thought I just locked the car keys in the coz I can't find him in my pocket oh my god I locked him in the trunk I'm kicking on the trunk lid yanking on it oh no I don't believe this I started to run and I tripped over the gun that I'd had in my pants that I had totally forgotten was there I stopped his head stop and think I collected my wits check all your pockets I picked the gun up I stuck it back in my pants now remembering I had one I checked all my pockets and there's the keys in the back pocket I never put him in my back pocket I thought I was pretty slick and when it stripped all over myself that first two murders the first 24 hours there were three clear times I should have been busted and I wasn't because three different individuals or three different groups of people got scared and minded their own business and look the other way I was picking up some very lovely young women you know what we were talking about as we're driving around almost as often as not this guide is going around doing this stuff and the second they started talking that they didn't realize it but they were getting a free ride I couldn't touch that with a 10-foot Pole I swear you know but it'd be telling me what all about this guy entered comparing notes speculating on what he looks like how he carries himself why he's doing this stuff telling me about it so how come they get in a car with somebody at that time she judged me not to be that guy I didn't look like it it's getting easier to do I was getting better at it I was getting less detectable I started flaunting that invisibility severing the human head two of them at night in front of my mother's residence with her at home my neighbor's at home upstairs their picture window open the curtains open 11 o'clock at night the lights are on all they have to do is walk by look out and I've had it why did you keep the heads why'd you cut them off and why did you keep something out of my childhood I could put it on an incident I mean my father chopping the heads off of our two pet chickens and my mother insisting that I eat him for dinner you know we could say it was something that simple I don't think it was now my dad heads out back without hatchet I got on my bike and I wrote her I tried to stop it I remember that I got on the bike rode around the block that's crying I haven't talked to putt there for a lot of years I'm sure that may have implemented something that may have gotten something rolling but a long fantasy Lions but it took a lot of years of development along those lines to really get off but how are you able to in one minute have someone's head in your hand and very shortly thereafter a fantasy however that would relate to that severed head and then five minutes later I put that away and there'd be knock on the door and I'd put it away and answer the door and the landlady would be there and we'd discuss it discuss what reality her reality not mine some people go crazy at that point I felt it it was one hell of a tweak I mean to just flip out and not know where I was to be walking up the stairs with a camera bag it belonged to a young woman that had her severed head in it walking up to my apartment passed a happy young couple coming down the stairs who nodded and smiled at me as they went by good evening and they're going out on a date where I'd love to be going and I'm aware of both of these realities and then the distance between those two is so dramatic so amazing so violent that really I could feel the wheels squeaking inside that was really pulling on it and I imagine at that point some people break but I didn't literally go insane I didn't get lost and all this time Kemper was able to seem normal he even hung out at a bar across the street from the courthouse making friends with policemen trying to pick up information they'd buy me a beer I'd buy them a beer casual relationships but that was I was poking around a little bit trying to find some things out I knew they wouldn't be privy to hot information but there were some things that were bothering me like were there any speculations on how they were dying that the cops like you like I said a friendly nuisance I got in the way and it was deliberate again friendly nuisances are dismissed how did you get the knowledge to outsmart the police watching television believe it or not Joseph Wambaugh police story got some tremendous insights into not just the gimmicks the actual things the tidbits that he would pick up from their procedures but the mechanics behind that the logic behind it was I would not allow myself to walk into even a potential trap of behavior and one of those was talking about those crimes too much to people initiating conversations about that there was a memorial service for two of the victims yes we attempted to go yeah but I'd seen one too many episodes one too many crime shows where that is one of the available resources for clues tracking down the attenders take one man taking pictures of the people there to eliminate as potential suspects some Police Department now they actually came here house to pick up a handgun sheriff's representatives one of the detectives was upset because he heard I had a 44 Magnum pistol and was a convicted metal patient and he came to take the gun away and it was aa he and a sergeant detective they were staking out the wrong house it was across the street and I'm playing around with a car standing next to the gun in the trunk they come over and asked me about excuse me sir do you know who lives in this house across the street here well that house was 609 Harriet he crossed back over to this side in the 609 Ord and they were looking for me and didn't even know that said I mean bad news Oh any rate we walk in the house to have them ask my mother about this other house and I'm saying hey which 6:09 are you looking for and they said are you Ed Kemper yes and it goes on and I needed to find out what they were looking for the murder weapon the 22 automatic or the 44 Magnum and I don't want to advertise that I've got a whole bunch of guns so I've made a comment just to Devine between the two and I suggested quite a little gun isn't it and he retorted a 44 Magnum I hope so as okay because that loaded 22 was under the front seat and guarantee me an arrest right on the spot and 44 was in the trunk I forgot that I took him in the house we went into my bedroom and the closet doors open and I have a high-powered rifle with a scope on it yet some other stuff in the house too yeah I had the personal effects and identification of the last two coeds that had been murdered about two months before right next to the guns in the closet in a box could he have seen it no but when he arrested me for having all those guns and went through the rest of the closet looking to see if there were any pistols or anything else he wouldn't have couldn't have helped notice a purse a book bag and couette ID inside of those belonging to their two latest murder victims I'd back up and said or excuse me I just remembered something and instantly he responds to what I'm saying my hand moves back we go outside and you still thinking boy this is a really nice and helpful guy here it was springtime it was April for two months I hadn't killed I said it's not going to happen anymore girls it's got to stay between me and my mother and it's gotta I can't get away from her we're still fighting she still belittling you she's still I'm like a puppet on a string and I entertain her she knows all my buttons and I dance like a puppet with that pain and it even got physical to where I had physically grabbed her and thrown her on her bed trying to emphasize a point that she's threatening to kill her so here I pick up these two young ladies in Berkeley on Ashby Avenue one has flowers in her hand petite little dolls they're in granny dresses and they're hitchhiking a couple of real experts I want to see how together I am if I can resist this temptation you going to Walnut Creek and they get in my car they want to go one way I know they need to go the other if they go the way they're insisting on we're headed right back out to where first two coeds were murdered and I'm saying to myself oh my god all I got to do is relax and they'll take me to their death I've got the gun in the car the same one I've been doing it with I insisted as gently as I could I took them where they needed to go to their college that was one week before I murdered my mother I said she's got to die and I've got to die or girls like dad are gonna die and that's when I decided I'm going to murder my mother I knew a week before she died I was gonna kill her and she went out to a party she got soused she came home went to sleep I was woken up by that I got came out I walked up to her bed she's laying there reading a paperback as many thousands of nights before and she said all I suppose you're gonna want to sit up all night and talk now shit I looked at her I said no it's a good night and I knew us get a killer no and I so coal is so hard and that's the first time in ten years I've looked at it that way I mean that intensely that honestly hurts because I'm not a lizard I'm not from under a rock I came out of her vagina say came out of my mother and then a rage I went right back in for seven years she said I haven't had sex for the man because of you my murderous son is one of our arguments I cut off her head and and I humiliated her corpse it's a dare you know six young woman dead because of the way she raises her son and the way her son is raised why he'd grow this up and once their closing words I suppose you want to sit up all night and talk cut out oh I wish I had your grandmother and her daughter-in-law your mother were two women very important in your life and you killed them both could you say what they were like that led them to the same fate the same thing that kept them from ever being friends who are both aggressive matriarchal women they'd been the daughters of strong matriarchal women I still loved my mother and it's hard for somebody to comprehend that you murder your mother through love it isn't a rational process it's a very painful process it isn't rational and I've got to still live with that why did you wind up giving yourself up it had to stop it had to stop once my mother was dead there's that almost a cathartic process at that point I got physically ill right then when she died when I murdered her and once she was dead there was no way I could back out I had backed down from giving up a thousand times you know I just used to get drunk and go sit out in front of the sheriff's department in a parking lot across the street on one of those little concrete parking berms I just sit there say whoo I still can't the clanging doors I could still hear him no cuz it'll never open again you know so I I rationalized that to give up would be insane to give up would be crazy I'd be giving away my freedom and I don't need to but I look back on that and wish I had earlier when I was saying those things to myself the people who were later dead wouldn't be the regret that came later would have not had to be those people not things those people would still be with their families with their loved ones they would have their own families if I had had the courage to make that decision instead of painting myself into the corner where might you be if you'd never given in to the impulse to murder where might I be if my parole had been successful I believe I'd be married I'd have children I'd be heading toward my first grandchildren well they weren't really spontaneous I altered how I approached these young ladies from the point of capture from the first time what I had wanted to do was to secure them and to suffocate them with plastic bags over their heads I had some completely unrealistic perspective that that was quick that they would lose consciousness rapidly but the first young lady that was in the back seat that was Marianne pêche I finally secured her she argued a lot she was dialog and trying to change up control of the situation she had already decided I was in control I was trying to gain control I was convinced she was in control of it so for about 20 minutes we were arguing back and forth over what was going to happen and I was trying to keep it away from what was intended which was murdered and I decided at that time I wasn't going to tell anyone I was going to rape them I didn't say that at the time but I left that wide openness the avenue that I was it's going to be a sexual release and that got the very distress and it was obvious to me that if I was going to pursue what I was doing that distress had to stop so I went into a unfortunately more effective behavior of letting them help me I let more of my personality come out and I was suicidal very disturbed grasping out of someone I had abducted them and I wasn't going to let them out of the car because I was tired of people walking away from me so some of that was very true but manipulated that to allow them to help me to the point of resolving their behavior until we got to a place where they could be killed and that has I the biggest problem with that on my guilt basis because obviously that entailed unusual trust between the captor of the perpetrator and the victim of the crime at one point in fact on the fourth victim of the crime miss Shaw she actually got back into the trunk under her own power I had a cast on my left arm it was broken and I walked her back to the trunk of the car where I told her I was going to keep her under cover so that I could give her to my home or we could talk but I didn't want neighbors seeing her coming to the house or leaving the house and I made that sound realistic to her so Sheila didn't want to get in the trunk but was willing to when she got into the trunk I shot it so I'm trying to remember this from a long time ago but another round heads entered and exited that padding area so there were three holes in that padding area that was head level with her it was off to her right to my left she was moving him out in the back quadrant there trying to avoid the shots that wouldn't have happened I realized if I'd never done it it would but if well my original intention was to make it very quick and either one of them to be aware what was happening and it was not to keep them from stopping the crime it was to keep them from suffering I had a real bad problem depriving people of their lives it wasn't the aspect of killing them that was the aspect of possessing their bodies afterwards so it was almost after an effect evicting someone from their human body and I'm sorry it sounds so cold but that about would have analogized at the time I wanted my case to look like random killings unrelated as you know there was no real understanding of serial killing at the time and when I told the police they asked me how many people had thought I could have killed in the fashion that I did out of the approximately 1000 individuals had got in my car over a three-year period that I was out there this being a hobby side hobby of mine was driving around I loved to drive and picking up anybody who wanted a ride and then later on focusing on more difficult cases people I was convinced wouldn't want to get in because a single male young adult - car - excuse me - door car they're not going to want to get in ride with me I made that a challenge almost like a chess game and the more clever they got about checking me out ahead of time the more clever I got about appearing innocuous and in a hurry and a businessman and the best one for a swaging that last checkup me was just a glance at my watch look slightly irritated no well I guess I could stop and give this person right it seemed to have a very positive effect even with the most sophisticated hitters which included the peshan - Jessa girls the first two victims so really psychologists neurone right from the standpoint of how to size up people how to respond to you geologists in that very play level one psychiatrist is looking for pathology I was looking for ways to influence people okay [Music] [Applause] [Music] my younger sisters two years younger and I developed some morbid games my life had started going that way at about eight at a certain time of the evening the family left the center room the living room of the house my mother and my sisters or my sisters themselves would go up to bed upstairs where I used to go to bed upstairs I had to go down to the basement and an eight-year-old child had a tough time differentiating the reason in that why am I going to the basement I'm going to hell they're going to heaven and what would those games that you played with your sister well the one I remember someone talking about an aide and a book was one it was playing gas chamber or electric chair or something and we had this big old overstuffed chair up in my room and we'd I was not just my sister and I it was my sister and I on a friend close friend we got into all these games we got into one game where we'd roll up in a rug and a person who tried to get out of it was just like a large throw rug and it was I guess what fascinated us individually about it is it was a completely it broke up the monotony I guess of what we were doing didn't have a lot of toys to play with we got bored with those pretty quickly so we looked for things to do you roll up in the rug and you try to get out and the other two would leave the room when we see who could get out fastest you know you try to work your way out sideways or scoot out the end of it or whatever and went from that to being tied in this overstuffed chair with cord or something or or pieces of sheet or sash or something and I went through this process I guess where that's back when in 1960 when Caryl Chessman was executed what was those fantasies what were they yes possessing the severed heads of women men didn't turn me on that wasn't very ID couldn't appreciate the appearances of a guy that when I was young I was about eight or nine years old and - this little come on it was like at a record store or something and they had this crowd of kids there and her as a magic show and this guy you've probably seen it the fake guillotine hand pressed and they put the potato there and someone puts their neck in the and the brace and they slammed this thing down and the potato down below Thompson - but the person's head doesn't follow right and everybody gets very fascinated by that oh my god and then when he puts the blade in place and he pushes it down it goes through that neck hole but it never chops anybody's head off okay so he wanted a volunteer out of his I'm not standing in this crowd watching this show and he wanted a volunteer out of the audience and some quite beautiful little sixteen-year-old girl gets up there and it's big laughs you know giddy and stuff and I start getting caught up in this I said wow that right at that moment I departed reality because logically I should have been able to ascertain that that could not happen you're not going to get away with chopping somebody's head off in the middle of fuck turns in the middle of Eleanor Montana at the capital city but the concept of it was so raw and it was titillating I says Wow Jake I'll watch this and he had her girlfriend come over and put her hands there to catch her head so it wouldn't fall in the basket you know and he was making jokes about this I got caught up in this this this interplay between normal concerns you don't want to get a bump on her head well hey if your chopping her head off it doesn't matter right and this is catching in my mind somehow and I'm saying wow the first time okay the two girls were killed around 6:00 p.m. by 11:00 the next morning they are both completely gone out of my life physically all right that's not even 24 hours the third murder which is the second incident okay I'm in the middle of trying to get my record sealed right Thursday night I killed her I took off Friday I didn't go to work I called in sick took CTO all right dismembered her body got rid of her body but kept her head in her hands because they're identifiable they're highly identifiable I kept those at the apartment okay that Friday night a Thursday night I took her Friday Friday morning she was dismembered Friday night she was disposed of right Saturday morning I left right and I didn't have I wasn't satisfied that I took the head along in the hands but I didn't I couldn't put them someplace that I was could be sure they would be dug up by an animal or just be somewhere it was it's scary going out there trying to bury somebody or dispose of body parts in a community or out in though even and the boonies where you don't know where you're at and who can come up at any moment I had some real close calls there for people that come out of nowhere and if they if a body's found and they remember this Beija looking car sitting there the night that's evidence so it was very very hard to get rid of this stuff so anyways Saturday morning I went to see the psychiatrist in Fresno Saturday afternoon I saw the other one Saturday evening I'm with my fiancee and her family over in Turlock Sunday night I come back to my apartment could you tell us how long you've been in prison this month is 18 years that I have actually been in prison what were you convicted of eight counts of first-degree murder and what was your sentence seven years to life CC that's called concurrent because all the sentences run at the same time who years before you committed that crime I think you traveled quite a lot on the freeways at night or picking up hitchhikers during the day during the day yeah I traveled a lot because I'd been locked up for five and a half years I'd never had a license well I just gotten a license when I got locked up the first time the Montana license and so I was free the driving around was a way to exhibit that freedom to demonstrate it to get the cobwebs out of me when I first got out I love to drive I always did love as a kid to drive I started driving when I was 10 or 12 years old but I got a license when I was 15 up in Montana and then I got locked up and then here in California and I got out got a license and I just started driving and that was my main hobby I'd say and I saw a lot of people out hitchhiking and I didn't select girls to pick up I picked up anybody who wanted to ride and over that whole three-year period it was the same way if someone needed a ride I picked them up and less specifically I was looking for someone to do in the crime sir it goes from from May to September May 7th to Sunday to Thursday September 14th then hops over to January right and then to February it's speeding up it's coming to a head it's getting to where it wasn't a slight little thing but it was coming to where it was coming more often and something I didn't tell a whole lot of people I guess I did tell in one interview shortly before it all ended I drove up to the Bay Area and I was well I was living there I was up in Alameda I was living with my mother in Santa Cruz and commuting because I had to work up there and I stayed with a friend I went out to Berkeley and I drove ashby Avenue at one of the place as I used to drive looking for coeds and I drove from highway 80 up Ashby Avenue to highway 13 the first two coeds I killed one Ashby Avenue they were five foot two sleight of figure you know we call petit and the ones black hair once blonde hair okay now I'm driving the opposite direction of Ashby Avenue it's a year later I'm seeing if I can maintain I'm not hunting I'm out seeing if I can maintain I have a weapon in the car I have everything else fitting the situation I'm seeing if I can maintain if I can just let go of it and maintain and marry this young lady and go on I go driving up there and here's these two young ladies five foot two one's got blonde hair once got black hair they're in granted dresses and I haven't shit fits because it's like deja vu and I oh my god I just I acted in a way that they wouldn't be paranoid because I'm a young man by myself in this car I diffused the situation as I drove up I've gotten practice at that all that driving around it wasn't rehearsing I made a game out of driving around picking people up and later on I discerned that some people wouldn't get in my car because of the situation of a young man by myself it's unsafe so I thought well gee I'd you know that kind of put me off I'm not doing anything to anybody so I want to see if I can change that situation where they'll want to get in and I can take them where they're going because I know I'm not gonna do anything and I got to where I could defuse that situation it's how you're looking if you look a whole boy I heard you start Frank in the car over there they're not going to get in your car because they can see you from half a block away drooling but if you look at your watch and say jeez I don't know if I have enough time and you're kind of in the mirror and looking around too huh and you pull over hey guys it's the businessman going somewhere and get this car we'll go where we're going and it's little games I played so they get in the car and then we chatted and I talked about things and I found out where their orientations were and their little what they used to judge and who could get in and who they could get in with and who they couldn't right in that sense it's been interpreted as as as what do you call it rehearsing it's not true it's like playing chess and then turning it into something ugly I played chess casually I played chess more and more thoroughly till I got very good at it which was picking up people to where I could make you a bet I can pick up those two ladies and they'd say oh man you're crazy those are two very crafty young ladies who won't get on a car with a young man by himself etc etc and I'd win the bet because I knew how to defuse the situation even if they asked where are you headed right and they had a sign saying where they're going but they'd asked or if they even if they didn't they'd say where are you headed and I had ways of developing it to where they wouldn't get suspicious but I didn't mean I was going to kill him it meant I was playing a game and then later when I started killing people I used that against them but initially it was just a hobby it was a habit it was trying to fill in the blanks of five and a half years of not being in society I missed that flower child generation I missed the entry into Vietnam all that stuff and all these kids are like aliens to me yeah I say kids I missed 16 17 18 19 20 21 I'm supposed to be associating with people in their adult years but I missed a big chunk so I'm not they're trying to fill in the gaps find out why these kids are the way they are now because they were totally different from the kids that I was when I was that age totally different and I'm trying to fill the gaps in and then later I changed that to something ugly and why my mother works at the University my mother won't introduce me to any young ladies at the University because I'm like my father and I don't deserve to know I need those em ladies so here she is holding these little girls up there is too good for me very special if anything I was destroying icons I was hurting her without her even knowing it again is that picking you know petty and ineffectual I'm getting back at you but I don't have the heart to tell you what I'm doing see why would I admit those things on a camera that's embarrassing as humiliating how would you select your victims whether I didn't select them it was random and it was also the development of the passion if I was trove they died like the last two victims I was so pissed I'd have killed anybody got in a car you said you had a lot of sympathy and empathy towards mary ann pesce when you talk to her but isn't that strange to say that after you had killed her in such a brutal fight there was a draw there was a draw to the Emily it was haunting I'm not saying I had compassion toward her when I talked to her I had tried to remember what we talked about and in fact I think what I said about her was is that she epitomized what really drove me she was a hottie young lady she's kind of stuck-up distant I look back on it and I see a girl that was not beautiful she was not plain she was somewhere in between and she was caught up in that beauty thing like kids in the valley are okay valley girls trying to make something of themselves and exploit little attributes they have and to downplay other ones and she was playing a Little Miss distant with me and her friend was very open and very her roommate was very open and very country girl talking and stuff and it said because the Peche was the Mary Ann was the expert at hitchhiking she had to have her life in Europe she'd hitchhiked around Europe she'd done it the United States she was good at it she didn't want to get in the car the other girl Anita Lou Chester wasn't a hitchhiker she had been raised by her family don't do things like that that's totally out of line and her friend talked her into it and once she got into it and she saw how much fun it was and they meet the different people and they talked with people that by the time they're leaving Berkeley right it's all about who gets the front seat and who gets the back seat so she you know she opened the door and asked where I was headed and it says Stanford right on there the sign they were holding out and I said I'm going to Palo Alto I can drop you off oh great and she jumps in grabs her stuff jumps in opens the back seat up for her friend who's standing there looking at me long serious about whether or not because I could tell at the time she knows better than to get in single adult it's a coupe a instead of a four-door car so she cannot get out other than through the front seat so that's all the warning signs of not getting in with a single you know in that kind of a situation all of the things were wrong about it but when I drove up I pulled that little stunt of looking at my watch you know do I have time to pick him up and you wouldn't believe how much effect that kind of thing has and when she kept staring at me and looking looking for something wrong in my eyes I gave this look back like I don't understand why why are you looking at me like this I gave her that back and she says all this guy's a dork he's innocent as hell she gets in okay we're driving along and I'm looking at this young lady in the rear view mirror and I look back at it years later and I'm saying she kept looking me back - right in the eyeballs I'm wearing dark glasses but they're not totally dark and I'm realizing now that she could see me looking at her and she was looking right back at me and instead of saying something to me like what are you looking at or hey maybe you gotta drop us off or something like that she just kept looking back at me and I'm looking at her and she keeps looking at me I'm thinking she's playing this little game it's it's not really teasing so to speak it's just this little psychological game back and forth that men and women do sometimes the young girl in the front Anita was at one point in the in the and the driving and I'm sure they were doing little looks at each other in little comments that I didn't pick up because I'm driving and looking for places to go that somewhere in that communication she gave me this sexy little look you know like olive oil / good-looking guy you know about it and I smiled back at her but not just hungry I like to get down with you kind of thing it was just I smiled back at her and I saw it for what it was it's an 18 year old girl that's feeling her oats she's not doing anything wrong it's his sadness real pathetic when some of this stuff was I was getting real caught up in a squirrel in the backseat you know I was she was you know to me at that point she was really beautiful she had the most incredible blue eyes right she had this really shiny black hair that was turning me on and I was getting drilled because I just kept playing this game of picking people up and I have plugged in those fantasies of killing and you know the titillating little fantasies mrs. G's I keep walking away from that and I put myself down as being weak for not being able to do something about that right so I kept driving and driving on myself saying I got to do something I got to do something about this how are you feeling why you were killing what well he said especially the first two which were very messy it was a shock that first time that horrified me I did everything stupid everything wrong if I were trying to get away with it it was this really really dumb the knife I fell back on I was a fallback position I was trying to smother that didn't work and she was struggling against that and arguing with me about it and I got frustrated and I reached in my pocket I had that folding knife and I pulled it out and for a lot of years and I say I made a point of saying back then with the investigators when I pulled the knife out and locked it into place that clicked and she said what's that that's a quote what's that and she was kind of like a yeah and a geek anything what's that and I couldn't figure out why she said that like it's not that big an impact a little clicking sound behind her you know amongst what's going on and it hadn't been murderous up to that point it had been an aggravation and I was I had her tied up handcuffed and it took me years to fritzen dawn on me trying to look at it from different points of view to understand these things why she said that you know why she said that because I had brandished this gun and I had cocked it once and it clicked so in her mind very possibly I had pulled the gun out and was going to shoot her so she said what's that and thinking I pulled the gun out now and I'm cocking it not realizing I'd pulled a knife out I still had the gun in my pants I stabbed her she didn't fall dead you're supposed to fall dead you're supposed to go all and fall dead I've seen it in all the movies right doesn't work that way when you stab someone they leak to death they lose blood pressure and you stab them more and more and more you complicate it many times by where you're hitting the pain you're causing and the aggravation of the person involved Plus whether or not the leak a little faster it wasn't working worth the damn I stabbed her all over her back and she even turned around I stabbed her in the side in the stomach once why as she turned around I could have stabbed her through the heart but her breasts were there and it actually deflected me I couldn't see stabbing a young woman in her breast that's embarrassing I didn't say that to them back then I don't think I may have but that's humiliating to admit that that I was that affected by her presence I stabbed her in the belly that had to hurt worse I didn't do it to make it hurt I was trying to shut her up and she ended up getting her throat cut and I learned the term ear to ear what that meant because that's the way it went and she went out of and completely right then she lost consciousness and died probably just moments after that but I just backed up out of the car my hands are covered in blood and I'm saying oh god I did it I did it I don't believe it I did it shit I've done it now I gotta kill the other one and we'll head toward the end when I picked those two girls up and I said they were just like the first to like Mariann passion I needed a chest who haunted me all this time and now two more just like them get in the car we drive up 13 and we get to this figure 8 cloverleaf interchange where it hits 580 and they want to go under the freeway and back up on and head out this way and out that way I happen to know just a couple of miles down the road is Pelham eros Drive where I took a needle to Chesham passion killed them Mills College is back this way toward downtown they don't think so they want to go this way I'm saying gee you don't want to go that way and I can't tell them why you do not want to go that way Mills College is this one well no we are we go there and we know alerts and we live there and we want to go and as we're approaching this interchange I'm saying no we need to go in the right lane get up on the freeway and go downtown you want to get in the left lane go under cross up and that's gonna be another step closer to you Diane because even if I don't go all the way out to palinurus Road up 580 if I stop where it starts to go out in the country and get back on the freeway that's where you said to work on the highways that's one of the places where it's a cul-de-sac you drive down there it's a very quiet street comes down up onto the freeway very sharply and they're dead if these urges take over and if I go that way it's not encouraging me to stop it's testing beyond where I want to test we've already gone beyond that by them getting in the car because jeez it's just like those first two I was actually scared to death I was gonna kill him and I by that point I had killed all of the coeds those two months after the last two and I'm seeing if I can pull out of it like like drinking or something or smoking and at the point where we're bickering if they'd started shrieking or banging on the windows I'm busted they're gonna pull me over someone's gonna call a cop or something and they're gonna get me and probably bust me on these other cases on a fluke and I'm trying to save their lives I don't want them going that way because I know Mills College is this other way they get scared shitless oh my god we should have caught this guy's corner getting all puckered up in the road and I said just bear with me be patient if I'm wrong I'll get on the turnoff we'll go right back around take you out your way but I know it's the next turnoff for the one past it this way downtown trust me please and they're sitting like this and they quit talking him and it'll go straight ahead and I'm saying aw shit guns under the seat it's all just you know whoa I get up on the freeway to turn offs Mills College fact the next one said Mills College next exit you know but they're not not relaxing or nothing I had refused to take them the way they wanted to go and pushed it the other way that's what scared him but they didn't know the irony of it was if I had gone along their way I'd have probably said yeah yeah well I just follow on through it loops will do it one more time how do you ups human lives to you I don't know those two young ladies I don't know where they are today and I don't know that they remember that little incident but when I drove them to Mills College inside of Mills College to their college entrance right to the building to the dormitory and they got out of that car and flew up those stairs never even look back I'll bet they quit hitchhiking quite so casually after that but you know what I don't think they know to this day how close that came and the irony of it is just that just to shut him up and not have him freak out I could have gone the other way but by that time then we're going back up that groove of what I had done already and what I was familiar with see what I'm saying and that day I knew I could not stop doing it I knew I had no control over it I had just minimal controls but mainly I could not stop it it was going to happen again and between that weekend day I was a Saturday or Sunday I think it was a Sunday between that Sunday and the next Saturday all that week I was working I built an image in my head are gonna die I'm going to kill her and I am going to go to it with the police and we're gonna hold court in the street and they're gonna pound me in the ground and they can fill in the blanks because I don't want to be around to explain it all that week I just it was a conviction that just got deeper and deeper in me I got more and more morose I got less and less talkative at work I got more sombre about what I was doing because almost every minute of every day I knew that's what that next weekend held that was Easter weekend right worked half a day Friday went back to Santa Cruz Friday afternoon was drinking Friday night I fell asleep before my mother came home woke up after she came home and the last words we had were an artery right I walked into her bedroom to chat with her I was that bad come on I'm not trying to try and blame her for dying I'm just saying I in the back of my mind I was hoping she could say something or I'd say something that could stop all of this shit a little childish hoping the back of my mind she'd say something I just play it off my deck but you still went with the hammer wait a minute wait a minute you're wiping out the moment here I went in there hoping I could stop this stuff in the back of my head I'm not planning on it I'm just a little hope and the first thing out of her mouth was she's reading this book and she just flaps it down on herself and says Oh Mike I suppose now you want to stay up all night and talk that was one of her favorite peeves when I come in late at night want to talk and once in a long while like that night I'd spun on my heel and said nope did I walk back out and she knew she'd hurt my feelings and the next day we'd sit down and talk except I knew that we weren't going to talk and I went back in my room and I laid down I did not go to sleep I laid there for four hours three hours four hours till four or five in the morning little after 5:00 in the morning and I walked in there with a hammer I came to the side of her head [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] [Music] Oh [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Applause]

Channel: NotoriousSquigTV

Views: 166,116

Rating: 4.6878614 out of 5

Keywords: ted, bundy, armin, meiwes, ed, kemper, arthur, shawcross, otis, toole, the, ice, man, jeffrey, dahmer, serial, killer, interviews, nstv, notorioussquigtv, mysterious, islands, killers, of, cartel, popeye, peter, sutcliffe, dennis, nilsen, pablo, escobar, drug, americas, worst, mysteries, stephen, port, gary, ridgway, richard, ramirez, night, stalker, grindr, milwaukee, monster

Id: NxSUgNKX714

Length: 57min 40sec (3460 seconds)

Published: Sun Jun 02 2019