Earth Day and Funny Signs

- RIGHT NOW I WANT TO SURPRISE SOMEONE HERE AT THE SHOW WHO KNOWS HOW IMPORTANT EARTH DAY IS. HE'S OUR CUSTODIAN. PETE, COME ON OUT. PETE. [cheers and applause] I LOVE PETE SO MUCH. PETE, TODAY I WANT TO HONOR YOU BECAUSE YOU INSPIRE US AROUND HERE. YOU REALLY DO. - HE SET UP A PROGRAM THAT HAS SAVED THE SHOW THOUSANDS OF REAMS OF PAPER. YOU TAUGHT US THAT WE WANT TO USE OUR PAPER WISELY, WE WANT TO USE THE BACKS OF PAPER INSTEAD OF JUST PRINTING THE FRONT. AND NO MATTER WHAT WE DO, WE JUST DON'T WANT TO WASTE PAPER. - YEAH. - SO--RIGHT? [cheers and applause] THAT IS WHY TODAY, PETE, WE ARE GIVING YOU OUR "ELLEN" SHOW PAPER SAVER AWARD. [brass fanfare music] YES. CONGRATULATIONS. [cheers and applause] YES. CONGRATULATIONS. AND NOW IT'S TIME FOR OUR SEGMENT "WHAT'S WRONG WITH THESE SIGNS? SIGNS." - [singing] SIGN, SIGN, EVERYWHERE A SIGN BLOCKING OUT THE SCENERY BREAKING MY MIND DO THIS, DON'T DO THAT CAN'T YOU READ THE SIGN? SIGN, SIGN, EVERYWHERE A SIGN [twangy guitar solo] OH, BOY. ALL RIGHT. THIS COMES FROM MEGAN TAYLOR IN AUCKLAND, NEW ZEALAND. "I SAW THIS AD FOR A REALTOR "IN THE LOCAL NEWSPAPER. THERE'S DEFINITELY SOMETHING WRONG WITH IT." AND IT SAYS, "WANT TO ADD DOLLARS "TO THE VALUE OF YOUR HOUSE WHEN SELLING, CLICK HERE TO FIND OUT." SEEMS LIKE THEY KNOW EVERYTHING ABOUT REAL ESTATE AND NOTHING ABOUT NEWSPAPERS. IF THE CLICKING DOESN'T WORK, TRY DOUBLE CLICKING IF YOU-- SEE IF THAT WORKS. JOCENDA CUSTER FROM GODFREY, ILLINOIS. I SAW THIS SIGN WHILE I WAS HIKING IN KENTUCKY. IT AS AT THE EDGE OF A POND NEAR A DAM. AND IT SAYS "DO NOT REMOVE THESE DAM ROCKS." [cheers and applause] APPARENTLY THEY CAUGHT SOMEONE STEALING THE ROCKS. THE POLICE SAID THEY HAD SOME VERY DAMMING EVIDENCE. SCOTT HENDERSON FROM HUTCHINSON, KANSAS. "THIS IS A SIGN AT ONE OF OUR LOCAL CHURCHES." [people speaking indistinctly] OH, OH. I JUMPED. - YEP. - SO HAPPY ABOUT THAT LAST PUNCH LINE, THAT I... JUNE DELUCA FROM LONG BEACH, CALIFORNIA. "I WAS VISITING MY FRIEND IN THE MATERNITY WARD WHEN I SAW THIS SIGN POSTED IN THE LADIES ROOM." IT SAYS, "BABY CHANGING STATION, MAX. WEIGHT LIMIT 250 POUNDS." THE ONLY THING SCARIER THAN A 250 POUND BABY IS A 250 POUND BABY THAT NEEDS TO BE CHANGED. SCOTT HENDERSON-- REMEMBER HIM? HE'S FROM... HE'S FROM HUTCHINSON, KANSAS. "THIS WAS A SIGN AT ONE OF OUR LOCAL CHURCHES." AND IT SAYS, "SERMON: WHATEVER." IN THE NAME OF THE FATHER, THE SON, AND BLAH, BLAH, BLAH. KAREN HOWARD FROM COURTICE, ONTARIO. "I WAS WATCHING YOUR SHOW "AND I THOUGHT YOU MIGHT BE AMUSED BY THE DESCRIPTION THAT THE ROGERS CABLE GAVE." AND IT SAYS... "EMMY-WINNING UPBEAT TALK-AND-VARIETY SHOW "FEATURING CELEBRITY INTERVIEWS AND MUSIC PERFORMANCES, "TINGED WITH THE APPEALING DEGENERES'S OFF-THE-WALL "OBSERVATIONAL HUMOR, PLUS HER OWN RATHER UNUSUAL STYLE OF DANCING." [audience jeering and cheering] [cheers and applause] I DON'T KNOW IF THEY REALIZE IT. IF YOU PUT SOMETHING IN PARENTHESIS, I CAN STILL SEE IT. IF YOU SEE SOMETHING YOU THINK I SHOULD SEE, PLEASE SEND IT TO ME.

Channel: TheEllenShow

Views: 1,772,669

Keywords: ellen, degeneres, earth, day, and, funny, signs, earth day, paper, saver, office, janitor, Ellen DeGeneres (Author), April, 2014, Talk Show (TV Genre), award, custodian, What's, wrong, with, these, sign?, sings, hilarious, hysterical, ad, rocks, baby, changing, weight, church, cable, listing, dancing

Id: tXxXhGD1aMo

Length: 4min 26sec (266 seconds)

Published: Tue Apr 22 2014