(upbeat music) - [Steve] You know my mother
told me when I was little, She was a Sunday school teacher, We had to go to church all the time. We always had to dress up. She said "Son, every woman
likes a well dressed man." (applause) They just do. I don't care how you normally dress. But if you occasionally for
her, just put on a suit and tie, shave up, dress up, and take
her out, women love that. I just always adhered to that. The whole time I was doing stand up, Kings of Comedy and everything. I made the fellas start wearing suits. The first year we did Kings of Comedy, they didn't wear suits. I was the only one who wore suits. D.L. said "Man why you
wearing a suit all the time?" I don't know any other way to be, dog. People paying all this money to see us, might as well give 'em
something to look at. Hell (beep) we ain't cute. (laughter) You know, the (beep) Kings of Comedy weren't no pretty (beep) you know. We was funny as hell but
was not an attractive bunch. You just have to know that. You know, if you ain't
cute, you ain't cute. You just got to come to that (beep). Cute (beep) men ain't (beep) no how. If you got a pretty (beep)
man you ain't got (beep). You need a man that look
like a mother (beep) man. Something wrong with him. If your man ain't got
nothing wrong wit him, you just got a pretty (beep) man. You ain't got (beep). He pretty. (Beep) pretty. I ain't even got no pretty friends. Like you if you a pretty (beep)
dude we can't be friends. I like ugly (beep)
people to be my friends. When I look at 'em I go,
"man, (beep) you all right?" Yeah. I'm telling you, man. I like ugly (beep) so if we
get in fight or something deep we (beep) all in. Pretty (beep) dudes can't fight. Shamamo, who the (beep). Me and Shamamo ain't friends. You know why? Cause he pretty. All my friends are like ugly (beep) men. Cause they make good (beep) friends, because they've got substance. They hard, they know
how to pick (beep) up, work with their hands, they men. (beep) get funky, they can do somethin'. They ain't no pretty (beep) men. Ladies, if your man pretty, see, look at all of these men here. How many men in here? Raise your, raise your
hand if you're not ugly. If you're not ugly, raise it. You've got to be (beep). (laughter) (continued laughter) Nah, really, (beep), this (beep) ugly. (laughter) Bro, you not cute, there
ain't nothin' wrong with that. Huh? - [Audience Member] I'm
happy that I'm handsome, I'm not cute. - No, I know, but you
don't worry about that. You just, you want to be
a regular looking (beep). You ain't cute. You got them earrings and
(beep) don't mean (beep). (laughter) Who else in here ain't ugly? Who in here, what man in here is not? You're not ugly? (beep) what? You don't think you're ugly? - [audience member] I'm not handsome. - You're not handsome,
well hey boo (beep). (laughter) He said "I'm not handsome,
but well..." but what? (laughter) - [audience member] He's handsome. - No he's not. He said he's not handsome. - [audience member] You are handsome. - No I'm not handsome. - No, watch this. I'm gonna show you something. See, you all know, I know
how to do this (beep). See, my money is my smile. See? (Laughter) Now, I'm gonna show you something. Let me show you what the
(beep) happen if I don't smile. Watch this here. (laughter) (laughter continues) (Beep), (beep) falls off fast, don't it? But you've got to know
that 'bout yourself. I just, I'm always smilin'. "Steve always smilin'" 'cause I got to! (Beep), when I let this (beep) face drop there's some (beep) in here. There's sixty-two years of pain and agony from the (beep) hood, I've
been (beep) up few times, Shot. All this (beep) come right back. I quit smilin', my past jumps the (beep) on my face. "What's happenin'?" (Laughter) This how you find out if you ugly, at night, when you looking for an address, on a house. That's when you find
out how you really look. Film your man when he
lookin', when he lost and he tryin' to find the address and that (beep) cut that radio off so he can see better. you know, (beep). 'Cause when you lost, you
don't want no noise in it. You cut that (beep) radio
down so you can see better And he'll (beep) do this here: (laughter) (laughter and applause) (upbeat music)
