LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, MY FIRST
GUEST TONIGHT IS THE HOST OF TV'S NUMBER ONE RATED DAYTIME
TALK SHOW. PLEASE WELCOME DR. PHIL! ♪ ♪ ♪<i>
( APPLAUSE )</i> <i>( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
>> YOU'VE GOT THEM EVERYWHERE.</i> >> Stephen: YEAH. WE'VE GOT PEOPLE PACKED
EVERYWHERE IN HERE. NOW, DR. PHIL, YOU'VE BEEN
AMERICA'S PSYCHIATRIST, PSYCHOLOGIST-- HOW DO YOU
DESCRIBE YOURSELF? >> WHATEVER. >> Stephen: OKAY. ( LAUGHTER )
YOU'VE BEEN A SHOULDER-- >> I'M A GUY. >> Stephen: FOR AMERICA TO CRY
ON, LEAN ON FOR 16 SEASONS. WE'RE DEALING WITH A
PSYCHOLOGICAL PROBLEM IN AMERICA RIGHT NOW. LET'S TALK ABOUT-- LET'S TALK
ABOUT-- <i>( APPLAUSE )
>> JUST-- JUST ONE?</i> >> Stephen: WELL, I'M NOT SURE
WHAT THEY'RE CLAPPING ABOUT, BUT LET'S TALK ABOUT THERE'S BEEN A
RASH OF REVELATIONS ABOUT PEOPLE ENGAGING IN SEXUAL HARASSMENT,
SEXUAL ABUSE. HARVEY WEINSTEIN, KNOW THE
PERSON, THE REVELATIONS SORT OF KICKED OFF THIS LATEST ROUND OF
REVELATIONS, HE WENT TO THERAPY FOR SEX ADDICTION FOR ONE WEEK. DOES IT WORK THAT WAY? IS HE LIKE, "ALL GOOD!"
>> (BLEEP) NO. >> Stephen: IT'S A FAMILY
SHOW, DOCTOR, A FAMILY SHOW. DR. PHIL. >> COME ON, YOU HAVE A CHRONIC
30-YEAR, LAYERED, MULTI PROBLEM THAT HAS SO MANY DIMENSIONS, YOU
COULDN'T UNRAVEL IT IN 30 YEARS. AND SOMEBODY GOES FOR A WEEK AND
SAYS, "GOTCHA." NO. >> Stephen: WELL, WHEN-- I'M--
I AM NOT FAMILIAR WITH IT. IF SOMEBODY-- FIRST OF ALL, IT
SEX ADDICTION A THING, DO YOU BELIEVE? >> NO. >> Stephen: YOU DON'T THINK
SO? >> NO, I DON'T. I WILL SAY THIS: IN THE
INDUSTRY THERE IS A BIG DEBATE ABOUT THIS, AND THERE ARE A LOT
OF PROFESSIONALS THAT I HAVE GREAT RESPECT FOR THAT WILL
ARGUE THAT IT IS A THING. NOW, THE D.S.M.-5, THE AMERICAN
PSYCHIATRIC ASSOCIATION DIAGNOSTIC AND STATISTICAL
MANUAL DOESN'T HAVE IT IN THERE. THEY DON'T RECOGNIZE IT. THEY DON'T CONSIDER IT TO BE A
DISORDER. A LOT OF PEOPLE I RESPECT DO. I'M NOT ONE OF THEM. I THINK IT'S ONE OF THOSE THINGS
THAT WHEN YOUR WIFE CATCHES YOU, YOU GO, "OH, MY GOD. DEVIL MADE ME DO IT. IT'S AN ADDICTION. LET THE HEALING BEGIN." I HATE IT WHEN THEY SAY THAT. <i>( APPLAUSE )
I DON'T THINK IT'S A THING.</i> NOW-- G --
>> Stephen: SO IT'S JUST A FORM OF SELFISHNESS. >> IT IS. I'M NOT SAYING THAT'S NOT
PATHOLOGY THERE, BECAUSE I THINK UCERTAINLY IN CASES LIKE WHAT
YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT HERE, THERE IS SEVERE PATHOLOGY THERE. I JUST DON'T THINK IT'S A SEXUAL
ADDICTION. >> Stephen: SO IF SOMEONE GOES
TO A SEXUAL ADDICTION CLINIC TO BE TREATED FOR THIS, WHAT
HAPPENS? DOES THE PERSON SAY, "I FEEL
LIKE HAVING SEX." AND THEY GO, "DON'T FEEL THAT
ANYMORE." WHAT IS IT THAT HAPPENS TO THIS
PERSON? >> WELL, THEY TRY TO GET THEM TO
IDENTIFY WHAT TRIGGERS THE IMPULSE. THEY TRY TO DESENSITIZE THEM,
AND IN ORDER OF SAYING, "OKAY, THINK ABOUT THAT. TRY TO CALM YOURSELF." THEY GO THROUGH A BUNCH OF
THINGS WHERE YOU HAVE STIMULI THAT WOULD NORMALLY CAUSE YOU TO
ACT, AND THEY TRY TO GET YOU TO NOT BE REACTIVE TO THAT. THEY TRY TO GET YOU TO EXERCISE
IMPULSE CONTROL, TRY TO GET YOU TO UNDERSTAND WHY THAT'S NOT
ACCEPTABLE, WHY THERE'S MORAL DECAY, ET CETERA, ET CETERA. BUT I JUST DON'T THINK THAT'S A
THING. I JUST DON'T THINK THAT'S A
THING. >> Stephen: YOU NEVER TREATED
IT. YOU NEVER--
>> NO. >> Stephen: YOU DON'T HAVE IT. YOU DON'T HAVE SEX ADDICTION. >> WELL, I DON'T THINK THERE IS
SUCH A THING, SO, NO. >> Stephen: YOU LIKE SEX,
THOUGH. >> WELL, IT DEPENDS WHO WE'RE
TALK ABOUT. I'VE BEEN MARRIED 41 YEARS. IF YOU'RE MAKING ME AN OFFER,
I'M PASSING. <i>( APPLAUSE )
( CHEERS )</i> >> Stephen: ALL RIGHT, NEXT
QUESTION. ( LAUGHTER )
DO YOU THINK THIS SORT OF THING IS PARTICULARLY BAD IN
HOLLYWOOD, BECAUSE THAT'S CERTAINLY THE REPUTATION FOR
HOLLYWOOD? OR IS THIS ALSO HAPPENING-- YOU
KNOW, SLIKE, THE MANAGER OF A GROCERY STORE IN IOWA, IS IT
HAPPENING EVERYWHERE? >> YOU KNOW, I'VE PROBABLY DONE
150 SHOWS ABOUT THIS KIND OF THING. THE ONLY REASON THAT IT'S IN THE
PRESS NOW IS BECAUSE AMERICA LIKES TO TALK ABOUT PRETTY
PEOPLE WITH PROBLEMS. AND --
>> Stephen: HARVEY WEINSTEIN IS NOT--<i>
( LAUGHTER ).</i> >> IT'S NOT HIM. IT'S THE --
>> Stephen: OH, RIGHT, I UNDERSTAND. >> BUT THIS HAPPENS IN EVERY
WALK IN LIFE IN AMERICA, WHETHER A LINE SUPERVISOR IN A FACTORY,
TALKING ABOUT A FACTORY WORKER. WHETHER IT'S A GROCERY STORE
MANAGER, TALKING ABOUT SOMEBODY WORKING ON THE PRODUCE AISLE. IT'S NOT ANY MORE RAMPANT THERE
THAN IT IS IN ANY OTHER PART OF AMERICA. AND IT DOESN'T HAVE ANYTHING TO
DO WITH SEX. IT'S ALL ABOUT POWER AND ABUSE. <i>( APPLAUSE ).</i> >> Stephen: NOW, YOU DON'T--<i>
( APPLAUSE )</i> I KNOW YOU DON'T LIKE TO GET
POLITICAL, BUT I DID WANT TO ASK A QUESTION FOR--
>> HYPOTHETICALLY. >> Stephen: HYPOTHETICAL,
HYPOTHETICAL QUESTION. FOR A FRIEND OF MINE-- SEVERAL,
300 MILLION FRIENDS OF MINE. ( LAUGHTER )<i>
( APPLAUSE )</i> WHO ARE DEALING WITH A PROBLEM. AND SOME OF THEM ARE IN DENIAL
THAT IT'S A PROBLEM, AND SOME OF THEM HAVE SEEN THAT IT'S A
PROBLEM LONG BEFORE THE PROBLEM REARED ITS UGLY HEAD. WHAT IS THE BEST WAY TO DEAL
WITH A BULLY? >> WE CAN ACKNOWLEDGE, THIS IS
THINLY VEILED. >> Stephen: THIS? >> THIS IS A THINLY VEILED
HYPOTHETICAL. >> Stephen: PURELY, PURELY
HYPOTHETICAL. >> PURELY HYPOTHETICAL. WELL, IT DEPENDS ON IF YOU'RE IN
DIRECT RELATIONSHIP WITH THE BULLY, OR IF YOU'RE SOMEONE THAT
REALLY DOESN'T HAVE A VOTE ON THE BULLY. >> Stephen: WHAT IF IT'S--
WHAT IF YOU'RE SOMEONE WHO THE BULLY, BECAUSE OF THEIR
POSITION, HAS A LOT OF POWER OVER BOTH YOUR ECONOMIC,
ECOLOGICAL, AND MILITARY FUTURE? <i>( LAUGHTER )
HOW DO YOU DEAL-- HOW DO YOU</i> DEAL WITH A BULLY, DR. PHIL! COME ON! DON'T DODGE THE QUESTION! >> HYPOTHETICALLY. >> Stephen: HYPOTHETICALLY,
HOW DO YOU DEAL WITH A BULLY, SOMEONE WHO SEEMS TO ENJOY
PUSHING PEOPLE AROUND. >> YOU HAVE TO PUSH BACK. >> Stephen: OKAY, SO YOU
SHOULDN'T QUIT THE SENATE AND GO HOME. ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
>> THE HYPOTHETICAL SENATE. >> Stephen: HYPOTHETICAL
SENATE. YEAH, COULD BE THE SENATE FROM
"STAR WARS." DON'T KNOW WHICH SENATE IT IS. >> HYPOTHETICALLY, YOU HAVE TO
WORK WITHIN THE SYSTEM, WHETHER YOU LIKE IT OR WHETHER YOU
DON'T. >> Stephen: OKAY. >> BECAUSE, YOU KNOW, MY DAD
USED TO SAY, "YOU NEED TO DECIDE-- YOU NEED TO SPEND 5% OF
YOUR TIME DECIDING WHETHER THE DEAL YOU GOT IT A GOOD DEAL OR A
BAD DEAL, AND 95% OF THE TIME DECIDING WHAT THE HELL YOU'RE
GOING TO DO ABOUT IT." AND THIS DEAL, A LOT OF PEOPLE
THINK IS A BAD DEAL. OKAY, BAD DEAL. THAT'S THE DEAL YOU GOT. WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO ABOUT
IT? OKAY, SO, WORK ON-- WORKING ON
MIDTERM ELECTIONS. WORK ON DOING DIFFERENT THINGS. >> Stephen: HYPOTHETICALLY. >> HYPOTHETICALLY. IT'S A HYPOTHETICAL SENATE. >> Stephen: HOW DO YOU DEAL
WITH A LIAR? IS THERE SOME WAY TO CATCH
SOMEBODY? WHAT IF SOMEBODY IS REPEATEDLY
CAUGHT IN A LIE AND DOESN'T CARE IS IT CAN THAT PERSON EVER BE
HELD ACCOUNTABLE FOR THE UNBELIEVABLE MORASS OF LIES THEY
SWIM AROUND IN, LIKE IT'S FISH AND FILTH. >> OKAY --
>> Stephen: HYPOTHETICALLY. >> HYPOTHETICALLY, THERE ARE
DIFFERENT-- PEOPLE LIE FOR DIFFERENT REASON. >> Stephen: YES. >> AND IF YOU HAVE A COMPULSIVE
LIAR -- >> Stephen: SEEM TO LIKE IT. >> IF YOU HAVE A SOCIOPATHIC
LIAR. >> Stephen: YES. >> WHO HAS NO REMORSE FOR THE
LIES THEY TELL. >> Stephen: DING-DING. >> AND YOU WERE TO SAY, "ALL
RIGHT, I'M GOING TO CHANGE THIS PERSON FROM LYING." THE LIES AREN'T HYPOTHETICAL,
BUT WE'RE HYPOTHETICALLY TALKING ABOUT SOMEONE WHO DOES THAT. >> Stephen: YES, EXACTLY. >> AND YOU PUT THAT PERSON IN
THERAPY. THEY TEND TO GET WORSE. >> Stephen: WHAT? LET'S SAY THIS HYPOTHETICAL
PERSON, YOU MANAGE BY LAYING BIT OF CHEESE OUT OR SOMETHING AND
YOU GET THEM INTO A ROOM WITH A DR. PHIL AND YOU SLAM THE DOOR
SHUT AND SAY, "DEAL WITH ME NOW, BUBBA." AND IT WOULD MAKE IT WORSE FOR
YOU TREATING THIS PERSON? >> IT WOULD, AND LET ME TELL YOU
WHY. THERE ARE TWO PARTICULAR TYPES
OF PEOPLE THAT ARE DIFFICULT TO DEAL WITH IN THERAPY. ONE IS THE PARANOID THAT REALLY
DOES HAVE SOMEBODY AFTER THEM. THAT'S TOUGH. <i>( LAUGHTER )
AND THERE ARE THOSE PEOPLE THAT</i> ARE VERY PARANOID, BUT THEY DO
HAVE A CERTAIN PEOPLE IN THEIR LIVES THAT ARE TRYING TO
PERSECUTE THEM. >> Stephen: YES. >> BUT NOT NEAR AS MUCH AS THEY
THINK. AND THE OTHERS ARE WHAT MOST
PEOPLE CALL SOCIOPATHS, PSYCHOPATHS, WHAT ARE NOW CALLED
ANTISOCIAL PERSONALITIES. THEY GET INTO THERAPY, AND THEY
LEARN FROM THE THERAPIST HOW TO BEHAVE IN A WAY THAT LOOKS
BETTER. THEY LEARN THE SYMBOL SYSTEMS. THEY LEARN HOW TO MIMIC EMPATHY. THEY LEARN HOW TO DO THE THINGS
THAT MAKE THEM LOOK BETTER. AND THEN THEY TAKE THAT AND USE
IT TO VICTIMIZE THE NEXT WAVE OF PEOPLE THEY COME INTO. THEY DON'T GET BETTER. YOU'RE JUST TRAINING THEM TO GET
BETTER AT WHAT THEY DO BAD. >> Stephen: AND IT WOULD HELP
IF THIS PERSON WAS, LIKE, REALLY INTELLIGENT AND HAS A GOOD BRAIN
AND HAS ALL THE BEST WORDS AND WENT TO AN IVY LEAGUE STOOL
SCHOOL? <i>( APPLAUSE ).</i> >> WELL, ACTUALLY, IF YOU
HYPOTHETICALLY HAD SOMEONE LIKE THAT, THEN THAT HELPS BECAUSE
THEY'RE NOT READING THE ROOM AND REALIZING THAT THEY'RE KIND OF
OUTING THEMSELVES BY BEING THAT TRANSPARENT. >> Stephen: DO YOU HAVE HOPE
FOR THE PSYCHOLOGICAL STATE OF OUR COUNTRY? >> I DO. I AM A INCURABLE OPTIMIST. AND I SEE, EVEN IN THE WORST
TRAGEDIES, WHEN WE HAD THE LAS VEGAS SHOOTING, AND, YOU KNOW, I
HATE TO BE SUCH A DOWNER, BUT I WAS INVITED TO GO TO THE
HOSPITAL THERE AND TALK TO SOME OF THE SHOOTING VICTIMS. AND I DID, AND I'LL TELL YOU,
WHEN I SAW THE HUMAN SPIRIT AMONG THOSE PEOPLE AND SAW HOW
THOSE PEOPLE CAME TOGETHER IN THAT FIELD AT THE TIME AND HOW
THEY HELPED EACH OTHER AND DRUG EACH OTHER TO SAFETY AND CAME
TOGETHER, I TELL YOU, MY FAITH IN HUMAN NATURE WAS LIFTED IN A
WAY YOU CAN'T EVEN IMAGINE. THOSE PEOPLE CAME TOGETHER AND--
AND STRUGGLED TO HELP EACH OTHER. PEOPLE THEY DIDN'T EVEN KNOW. AND THE WAY THEY GOT INTO THE
TRAUMA CENTER, AND INSTEAD OF SAYING, "TAKE CARE OF ME. TAKE CARE OF ME." I TALKED TO THOSE TRAUMA DOCTORS
AND THEY SAID, "YOU KNOW WHAT? THEY SAID 'SHE LOOKS WORSE. TAKE CARE OF HER. I CAN WAIT. DO THAT'." I WAS UPLIFTED SEEING HOW PEOPLE
RESPOND TO THAT. AND I DON'T THINK CRISES MAKE
HEROS. I THINK CRISES REVEAL WHO YOU
WERE BEFORE IT HAPPENED, AND I THINK WE SAW A LOT OF THAT IN
LAS VEGAS <i>( APPLAUSE ).</i> >> Stephen: WELL, THAT'S A
NICE THOUGHT TO TAKE INTO THE WEEKEND. THANK YOU, DR. PHIL. "DR. PHIL" AIRS WEEKDAYS
NATIONWIDE.
