Divorced Men Share The FINAL STRAW On Their MARRIAGE (r/AskReddit)

our slashes credit divorced men and women of ridet what was the final straw things were kind of rough right from the beginning she went from always wanting to have sex to wanting it no agreeing to it about once a week almost right after we got married that wasn't so terrible but simply a negative change most people would just deal with the rest was like the Frog who got slowly boiled to death things went south really fast when we tried to have a baby and I found out I was sterile to make a long story short she would berate me about my condition constantly and threatened to leave me at a time we were about to try some new treatment she'd say if this doesn't work we are getting divorced in fact my infertility was not something to happen to me it was instead something that happened to her if you follow me the day I came home from my urologist with my diagnosis I told her and started crying and went to hug her and she pushed me away saying that we should probably just get divorced nonetheless I persisted and we even tried marital therapy I tried various treatments for my sterility including something called a tease which means they cut your sack open cut your testicles open looking for sperm with a microscope LSS they found nothing the recovery was painful like being kicked in the balls for a week long when I made that comparison she said I feel like kicking you in the balls right now her family was just as bad her brother refused to speak or look at me her mother yelled at me that we should get an annulment I should mention her parents are Bosnian immigrants barely literate but that is no excuse for being mean-spirited and my ex and her brother were both educated with master's degrees well one day we were fighting and it just hit me I just decided I couldn't take any more I thought maybe I'll just take you up on that divorce so I waited until she left to work and I got my clothes and went to the bank to split our savings and went off to restart my life I can't tell you how much I enjoyed the sun shining in on Carr that afternoon when I left about three years later I met a wonderful woman who accepted my condition we are married and have an amazing baby daughter who was conceived by donor sperm getting a divorce was the best decision I ever made I had to give her more than half of everything I had but it was worth it I wish I could get back the three years I wasted on her edit I tried to keep it brief but and so many people are interested and I have a personal best four points on this post here are some other crazy details her parents were convinced that I tricked her that I had known that I was sterile but fooled her into thinking I had no such problem because after all who would want to be with an infertile man I sold her and them a lemon at first she called them crazy and told them to stop saying it but at the end once in a while she'd outloud entertained the possibility that they might be white about me also she had this habit of pointing out oddball guys and saying that he's got sperm for instance she'd point out homeless guys on the street and say it all we'd be watching the news and there'd be a crime story with a photo or video of some scumbag and she'd say it then also since we talked about divorce all the time she'd always say that she would take most of our savings since she deserved it because you know so that's why when I packed up the car my first stop was to our bank to take exactly half my lawyer commended me on that move and said it was the second smartest thing I did that day I had been thinking about filing for divorce for a long time but I was terrified I had no job skills he told me he'd get full custody of our kids because he'd show my journals to the judge and prove I'm crazy he had all the income and I had none I was afraid the courts would be on his side I didn't have any family around who gave the crap about me or my kids and would help out with even simple babysitting every once in a while and I knew what a great con artist years he is really expert at telling tall tales and making everyone believe him and feel sorry for him I've seen him Connor kids Connor tourneys even mine and con his bosses he's a scam artist so I was trying to fix myself so I could injure the marriage tried to fix the marriage too but after a few times in therapy with a non-religious therapist he wouldn't go back he was and maybe still 'is a religion addict would only consent to going to one therapist a guy in dorste by our then church we went to him a couple of times but I refused to go back because I didn't like the church sanction therapist he had no empathy he didn't seem to be the least bit concerned about the physical emotional and verbal abuse that had been perpetrated on me by my ex one morning I was very ill I don't remember if it was food poisoning or the flu but I was like a weak kitten with the diarrhea had been up most of the night pooping and throwing up I was supposed to drive the kids to school with the toddler in the car but I was afraid I'd pooped my pants in the process I asked mr. wonderful if he could just this once drive the kids to school this was something he never had to do because I was a stay-at-home mom it was my job 13 years together and he'd never taken the kids to school once I made that request and he exploded like I just asked for him to drive them cross-country before he went to work I was so sick and he just laid into me verbally one time I asked him one time to help me out with them in the morning due to my illness he left door slamming and I didn't even cry I was in such shock at his reaction I didn't cry I just went into do-or-die focus dragged my weak self off of the sofa got toddler in car drove kids to school came back and unpacked toddler and managed not to soil myself but I couldn't do anything but lay there and watch TV toddler played with his toys I made him cereal or something laying there that morning I realized I'd be better off alone because alone I'd still get sick but at least I wouldn't have an [ __ ] yelling at me while I was sake if he's not even going to help with the kids why am i staying was what I thought that day I kept thinking that two parents are better than one like the church had taught me but that morning I realized my kids didn't have two parents not really to me a parent steps up to cover for the other one the other is sake my kids didn't have that not at all I also realized that even if we had to go on welfare if everything mr. wonderful threatened me with came true at least on welfare I might find some help I might find the system had some help for me I also thought that if everything he threatened came through I could petition the court to take the kids to the Midwest and live near my mother when someone abuses you when you're sick that's a kind of torture when they also refuse a reasonable request to help out with their own children when those kids are in need that's torture toward the kids too I guess I finally realize the torture was never going to end with him nothing inside of him was making him see his part in this I asked for a divorce after almost nine years of marriage because I couldn't take any more of the lying stealing gas lighting and occasional physical abuse he begged and pleaded to work things out so I grudgingly agreed contingent upon us living separately that was April in June he entered the apartment and announced I wasn't allowed to have the locks changed due to a lease at 1:00 a.m. I was awake and it scared the [ __ ] out of me I nearly shot him he was completely out of it slurring his words and demanding sheets and sandpaper he refused to leave without them the man was a good 5 inches taller than me and well over 100 pounds heavier a trained officer and yet I was able to put him in a headlock and threatened to call the police if he didn't leave that worked thankfully but it was not the last straw I know I know I was trapped in that relationship for a total of 13 years and abuse is hard to get away from the final straw came in mid-august when he was once again totally doped up on god knows what I awoke to him flinging himself across the bed to surprise me he was not supposed to be there once again scared the hell out of me as I wandered around the house trying to convince him to leave I kept finding blood and butter here and there no idea WTF he did while I was sleeping but it was on doorknobs counters etc the man would not leave would not listen to reason and then after several obviously faked attempts called the police on me his logic as it were was that they would remove me and all of my belongings from the apartment on his say-so because he was a cop then he called them back using police codes so he'd sound extra legit to tell them to cancel that request so I called and begged them not to they showed up didn't give a flying [ __ ] that he worked for the Sheriff's Office and asked him to leave I was stunned because throughout our marriage he had always held the threat of police taking his side over my head one of his many many lies as it turned out he advised me to get a restraining order and I did I was too scared to stay in my apartment anymore though so I began moving from friend to friend south until I found a permanent place to stay it's been over three years since that nightmare finally ended and I'm getting remarried this month funny because he told me no one would want me or love me like he did I wish I had left him sooner we thought we were so smart we waited and waited three years including my deployments before we got married we both came from families whose marriages were less than good so we wanted to be sure then a few months after we got married he left on his own deployment I am wild I messaged I did everything I could in that situation to show him I cared and I was there for him I knew firsthand what it felt like out there by the halfway mark he had fallen in love with a woman on issue didn't tell me anything just kept pushing for me to focus on myself relax if it isn't already obvious I too have a stressful job he comes home I have set up everything for him apartment utilities car registration etc he is cold and I write it off like oh he's just readjusting I remember wanting space when I got back to three months later after originally declining to come see me stationed on the opposite coast he flies in to visit I'm overjoyed at this opportunity to connect and try to figure out what is wrong until I see him coming down the escalator at the airport speed a sense goes off for the first time in a very painful year I start to lose hope two days later he says he's in love with her but that he still feels for me just not the same and what did I do I forgave him right there on the spot I cried and cried but I forgave and I loved I don't think that's what he wanted he spent the next few days telling me about all my faults my road rage my lack of goals how I'm not very feminine how there's no fire between he and I anymore and how he would like me to not touch his money anymore I had been paying debts by his instructions for the past year I complied of course because I have my own money and I loved him he leaves and I'm devastated for months my friends see me soul dying as I refuse to give up but the final straw the moment that reintroduced light into my eyes that made me decide on getting the divorce one morning friends of mine were planning on hanging out watching Galaxy Quest they pointedly asked me to join in hindsight they probably had no idea how badly I needed it I go I spend the day laughing smiling the last straw was seeing how wonderful my life could be again if I just let that part of my life go it hasn't been easy but whenever things get tough I ask myself if I'm happier now the answer has always been an in fact yes Australia context is needed I'd been laid off and was living of 36k savings that I had put aside the year previously there was a recession and finding work was hard and to compound that my wife had given birth I had spent the first three months with her to make sure that she was recovering difficult birth and had expected this based on my calculations we'd be fine for a year to a year and half if we weren't doing any lavish expenses month one two three everything was good it was hard adjusting to being a father and taking care of my wife and her family as her family came over from Norway to help that caused more problems and strain on me cleaning cooking being driven around kids etc doctor instructed my wife to relax and rest up she did the exact of beau-site and made the recovery process that much longer month three to five she decided to spend time with her sister for help while I looked for work started to move in with her and she started to blame before not finding work in my field despite a recession had I finished my post-secondary program she argued I'd have found work right away intimacy of any kind was removed at this point because she didn't know I loved her oh when she refined Jesus and if I just started to accept Jesus as my Lord and Savior I'd be a better husband for her depression hit like a mother month six I found work and she decided that she wanted to go to Norway I was also held accountable to the fact that we had burned through half the savings that I had brought in despite paying rent to a house that I didn't live in she had moved into her sister Oh and while I was working 50 plus hours a week on two jobs to recoup our savings it wasn't good enough because I didn't provide well enough and I was a lousy father month 7 her sister in Australia was depressed ergo she had to go to Australia to spend a week with her off course she'd have to take our son that'll be another 4 K on top of the pre-k that she's going to spend to go to Norway I have no say because it's so mad leave and I dare not say how she can or cannot spend it for my parents it was death by 1000 per per cuts over a span of 40 years with my mom being an abusive [ __ ] and my dad believing he didn't have a choice but to stay he was just defeated the actual cause of them separating and now going through divorce proceedings was because my mum stalled my car the catalyst conversation slash fight basically went like this mum Nymphadora you have to take your car to the garage tomorrow it's broken me um I drove it here it's fine why do you think it's broken I'd paid five hundred pounds for this car a few years back whenever it was going to give up I already had plans to just buy a new car as by this point it was worthless / would cost more to fix than it was worth mum the engine shut off and some lights slashed me oh no don't worry about that you just stalled it mum I have never stalled a car ever I'm an excellent driver I would never stall dad I've seen you stall plenty of times mum begins tantrum how dare you I've never stole Dever wah-wah-wah goes on for a while me okay geez mum it's really not a big deal after super repetitive arguments from her for a while she storms off me that brother sit and talk for a while over a bottle of wine about how she's ridiculous and why the [ __ ] is he staying in this miserable existence she didn't speak to him for three days except to yell at him for not standing up for her when I had a go at her for once he stands up for himself and refuses to apologize so she storms out saying if he cares so little about her she's going to live at their other house where my husband and I lived she seriously thought she could just move into our spare room so he literally and figuratively shut the door on her and said fantastic the next day husband and I moved as much of our belongings out of our house and into my dad's no mean feat I was eight months pregnant at this time we lost a lot of our belongings but got all the most important stuff mum didn't understand why we wouldn't want to live with her she's abused me my whole life and had ramped up the crazy since I'd gotten pregnant no thanks she told dad she was coming back home and he said you can have whichever house you want but I won't be in the same one as you ever again then he began divorce proceedings and literally lived happily ever after my brother and I went completely no contact with her a few months later she literally shacked up with my dad's brother whose wife had just died three weeks before yeah she's a class act good [ __ ] riddance ex-wife was my live-in girlfriend in other words married in Altered law for seven years before we married helped her raise her son since he was 11 awesome kid love him still see him more often than she does so the whole of our relationship before marriage it hadn't always been all roses but overall I feel like we had a really good relationship communicated well great sex on a very regular basis and I certainly trusted her and loved her very much later on we got married and right at that point basically things changed she didn't communicate as much she would all but cut me off from sex for long periods often months at a time we would ever talk about getting the spark and communication back in our relationship it might feel like it's happening for a short time then back to the same old thing instead of going and looking for outlets for my repressed sexuality I often just completely ignored that portion of myself for months at a time kinda went numb emotionally as well even had multiple opportunities to be unfaithful but turned them all down I kept telling myself it would get better I'd have another talk with her we'd get all this straightened out I don't know how long i whould lie to myself about this to be honest but she ended up saving me from having to one day a little over five years into marriage she said she was going to her mother's a normal occurrence however I noticed she packed a lot of sexy stuff for going to Mom's I mentioned something about it in a half joking way and she said I was being silly that she was just packing comfortable clothing and catch after a couple weeks she called announcing she wouldn't be coming back at this point I wasn't really all that surprised or dismayed by this and I accepted it afterwards in talking to her son who I consider just as much my son I learned that she had been unfaithful to me fairly often sometimes with friends of ours or cow Walker's sometimes with the older of his teenage friends later as he grew into an adult when he was unfaithful to his partner she would remark to me I don't know why he does that I thought I taught him better than that mmm-hmm all while I remained faithful to her like an idiot and kept trying to make it work about a year after she left I got a call from her begging me to take her back I calmly informed her that there was no way I would ever consider being with her again and she then claimed to have a gun and that she was now going to go end her life I ended up calling her mom and her local sheriff to go out and check on her and haven't heard from her again until she sent me papers to sign which I gladly did I just got the final paperwork in the mail a little closure I guess it feels good kinda wondering if I'm now capable of the trust a truly good relationship requires thought for Shore for years that I had someone worthy of that but I was fooled still glad to be free of the whole situation accepting my stepson whom I would never forsake I was the sysadmin and the max /i funds had been set up to back up to iCloud with photos synchronizing across all devices she's not tech savvy I have a couple of degrees in tech and worked in tech she went on a vacation to visit family in New York City I stayed in CA with our kids this was the final straw photos of her New York City affair w / next friend of mine began appearing on the family computer I located her whereabouts via Rai phone GPS search the family computer and found her Ashley Madison profile logged on and read the conversations got her on the phone asked her where she was and she claimed to be at her mother's while I was looking at her actual location online via iCloud eventually after listening to her many lies I told her where she was at and how I knew she panicked hung up eventually they figured out how to disable GPS tracking she called me back the next day more lies about her spending the evening at her family's place so I am lolled her using yes worth the photos that she had taken the prior evening with her iPhone which synchronized with iCloud and family computer now she was lying about the actual photos so I am alder the metadata which contradicted her statements she literally got rid of her iPhone and bought another rye phone got a new number but there isn't reps just set her up with the same Apple ID she had before so photos along with calendar address book etc from her brand-new phone kept synchronizing with the family computer unbeknownst to her she called and swore she was at her family's place so in an ml I showed her how I used the yes for data to determine her approximate location and it was not her family's home but her boyfriend's place but I didn't tell her that a new phone was synchronizing with iCloud and family computer so that evening more pictures come across this time including her married friend who is also having an affair with some guy that I easily locate on Facebook because I have the whole address book and the names and numbers of everyone that's a the photo and I recognize a few other people that are also married but not with their spouses must have been a cheaters night out or something so I send all of them a group text which apparently ended the evening she calls screaming I just hang up and block her not a divorce but a recent breakup I'm actually moving out in the next week anyway we got together and two months in had an oopsie baby on the way we liked each other enough to say what the heck let's try and do this thing together after three months of pregnancy her moving in with me and us fighting she decides to move not a small move or three states away move where only her mother then she constantly complained about claims she has always hated lives I thought well maybe we can work out a co-parent in custody deal nah fam she [ __ ] my [ __ ] up I immediately get a letter in the mail from her new states DHS office demanding child support something she said she would never do not because I don't want to help but she always claimed it was always super unfair for the dad especially considering how little money I made I had already been sending her over $100 /wk and had everything signed by both of us to keep everything legit when I complained of this litter she claims to have no idea why they sent it and instead suggests that she made her move due to her hormones being out of work she wants to try again but I'd need to move to her oh she already has all of her stuff set up for her and the baby here so I bite I want to be a good dad a present dad I want to do everything I can to be there for her and I want to be with my baby and she's normally a very sweet person say err I saved my money even borrow some from my parents and off I go baby is born all off well in the world until two weeks ago all of a sudden now she hates me wants me out and I'm a huge emotional burden on her and she wishes she'd never met me she wants my check from my new job I got here but also wants me to move out after explaining that I can't do both she says she will take it to the HS and I can just figure it out so back I go to my hometown borrowing money from my parents again and using their house now to live idk how I've gotten myself into such a stupid situation but it's all very taxing emotionally and I hate that I ever met and now thank you so much for watching the whole video please leave a like and subscribe

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Keywords: high school, reddit stories, askreddit funny, askreddit scary, reddit top posts, askreddit comedy, comment awards, askreddit, top posts, dankify reddit, brainydude reddit, tz reddit, r/, askreddit creepy stories, toadfilms, reddit and chill, middle school, middle school cringe, teacher, pupil, parrents, tantrum, askreddit friends, askreddit secrets, askreddit parents, family secrets, askreddit kids

Id: XUSZ0nupdfs

Length: 26min 48sec (1608 seconds)

Published: Tue Dec 31 2019