Dinners With DeMar – Episode 1: Draymond Green

[Music] I know for me growing up in an urban community you never talked about the effects of mental health or what you seen every single day on a daily basis affecting your mental health you know it was never a discussion doing allar weekend just being overwhelmed with with everything that was going on I put out a tweet expressing my depression you know it was just a emotional response really didn't expect too much of it with me just sending out a tweet like that open up a whole another door I never would have expected relief Freedom inspiration to others that it's okay to to go through things to be vulnerable to break down be okay with figuring yourself out speaking to other people being vulnerable to other people life is always going to test you it's just about figuring out ways to get yourself out of that that dark place when it feel like it it comes and that that starts with having conversations some of the greatest conversations that I've ever had and witnessed was at a dinner table it's fitting to be able to be in this position to have open heart dialogue about some real things that we deal with on a daily basis so it's so much that could come from a dinner table conversation I hope this project will you know spread hope inspiration and understanding that a dialogue of expressing and and speaking out and telling your story is is so [Music] inspirational tonight's dinner guest is my good friend Draymond Green a great friend of mine someone I respect you know we were the same high school class we played against each other in college you know something we always talk about to this day he knocked us out of NCA tournament so us competing versus each other go way back going on my brother my do what's up see you CH appreciate you having me want to talk to Draymond to me I feel like he's one of the most misunderstood people in our league everybody quick to view him as an aggressor because a lot of things he doing the court but I think for me he's one of those intelligent guys once you get his perspective on things you know your your view will definitely change I would say all our conversations that we had has been like the most beneficial for me just from like a friend standpoint you see what I'm saying because it's so hard in in in our occupation to be able to find like just thorough individuals that that stand for something that have morals and except going through the ups and downs and and realize that you know we ain't perfect you know what I mean we we not perfect at all and that's one thing I know for me I always admired from you was like you know you're not not perfect and you Unapologetic about it at the same time that's a hell of a trait to have you such an alpha but to me it's like you know I don't care if we in the game wherever we at we always talk [ __ ] for sure always talk [ __ ] ain't Chang it ain't change one bit no no matter what it's about but to other people it rubs so many people the wrong way but to me you you take that quality away from you you're not Draymond Green you know what I mean I don't even think you will exist in in in in our you know what I mean no that's a fact I think number one thanks for having me um it's an honor to be here like I've said to you before and in building a relationship with you um which has spanned over the course of years like this isn't something that started yesterday or you know a year ago like this has been building um for 10 plus years and so in building a relationship with you I am so excited to number one be the first guest on your show because I feel like I've watched the growth firsthand unlike myself who's super outspoken and always going to say something if I got to say it you're way more reserved and most people don't even know you talk and so to to watch you continue to flourish in basketball and and almost reinvent yourself in basketball but like you're Reinventing dear the person and and for me as a friend that's special because like you just said for us there's no one to tell you you're wrong you know there's no one to tell you yo you bullshitting everyone's afraid to bite the hand that fees them and the reality is you're looking for somebody to tell you you're wrong like for years I've look for somebody to tell me I was wrong and so you look at life for for you as a human being for me as a human being you stop getting better like every day you're trying to become a better person that should be the goal in life every day is to become a better person to improve yourself but then you run into this situation of young guys from Compton the hood like we all know about Compton from Sagar Michigan most people don't know about Sagar Michigan same [ __ ] you stop getting better because when you come from these situations and then you walk into this money and when I say walk in it's not a walk it's not a walk in the park it's hard but you walk into these this money and this Fame and and doing that you lose the people that have been in your corner telling you hey you're doing this wrong you're doing that wrong you're doing this right you lose that and so in turn we stop improving as human beings early this year I had to tell myself like yo it's time for you to dive back into yourself to improve yourself you have not improved as a person at all like all right you got better at basketball you got better at doing a podcast and speak but you have not improve yourself as a person at all and in large part due to it's all self-evaluation because you run into these situations where there is no one to tell you you're wrong and so what I've appreciated about our relationship is like I can call you and be like yo you [ __ ] like I just watch three games in a row like you look ridiculous and like you'll call me like yo like what was that or you know you don't even look to shoot the ball or you know you was bitching the entire game and for me like those are the most valuable relationships because a you have someone that holds you accountable and accountability is everything in life and B it's someone who doesn't need a thing from you and simply is in it for the good for the better of you I appreciate that because it's so hard to find these days of someone with with the heart with the nuts to tell you like bro you was dead ass wrong like that was ridiculous and so I am very appreciative of the of our relationship [Music] once you get in this Fame and this light you know you lose that that element of Being Human you know what I mean you look around you see so many people having such an entitlement you know cuz I get up every single day and work my ass off y'all feel like y'all should have the same thing I have you know what I mean you should you you should drive I should have the same car you have I should go eat where you eat you know I mean all this all this and I don't think many people understand to the magnitude of how much we have to deal with the entitlement of family friends behind us cuz you know you want to be a good friend you want to be a good whatever brother son whatever it may be but that entitlement weighs so heavy on us at times to where it driving [ __ ] crazy you know what I mean absolutely it's been one of the toughest things for me to like maneuver through because you know you you you try to do all the right [ __ ] but it's never enough for nobody else my sister text me a couple weeks ago and she was like hey it's just so hard for me to get in touch with you I just want to check on you see how you're doing and I said honestly toy this phone causes me so much anxiety I just don't touch it like I I I don't deal and and so I don't have it within me to deal with other people's [ __ ] it's so crazy because the same [ __ ] ask for something don't even ask ask how your kids doing first and forem you see what I'm saying you know what I mean like how many times like I I done call man and should the baby be right there I be talking you know what I mean it's like the kids good that's that's how we lead it off you see what I'm saying absolutely so for a person who I haven't even talked to but you want me you expect me to give you x amount of money and tell me your problems and put it on me like how how do that ever make sense that's why to this day I continue to work my ass off so much because I'm so fearful to go back to not having anything on top of seeing how hard my dad worked and bust his ass just for us to have the minimum on seeing my mother's struggle you know as you get older you start to realize and understand the amount of pressure that your parents go through just to trying to feed keep keep keep you fed so for me I never got caught up in the [ __ ] to feel entitled like oh I was somebody because at the end of the day [ __ ] I'm hoping the [ __ ] water on for me to be able to take a shower tonight you see what I'm saying absolutely like that's that's this [ __ ] is crazy I never even talked about this bro like to this day right only only if you come from the hood you you will understand this this this metaphor right it it may sound crazy as [ __ ] but I wear two pair of drawers to this day right because when I was young I needed a a clean pair of drawers just in case I was somewhere in my cousin's house and was able to take a shower you see what I'm saying like that's that's no matter how much if I just scored 30 points or whatever I got two pair of underwears on because I'm GNA take the ones that's on top and those going to be my clean ones if I'm able to take a shower over here wow that's the [ __ ] that kept me humble and kept me pushing no matter if it seemed like I had some fame or if I felt like I had some new shoes or whatever it was never enough for me because I still was going back to this [ __ ] hole of a place that I had to keep [ __ ] fighting to get out of you know what I mean so to me I didn't know what entitlement was that's why I take it so personal when I see other people carry that entitlement to where like what is you doing you know what I mean how is you gonna f for yourself and F for the people you you take care of my after my rookie year my uh my business manager at the time she called me about my taxes and she's like hey um you know on your taxes you've done XY Z for your mom you giving her this much money you should claim her as a dependent I'm like all right like and in my mind you know I don't know much about taxes so I'm thinking I'm thinking at that time with the taxes that oh yeah I claim her as a dependent I'mma get I'm G get more of a check back you know like growing up income taxes for us was like income taxes for us was like my mom about to get a check we about to we about to do it for a couple weeks and then we going to be back broke and so when she said like oh you get to I'm like oh shoot I get to claim her as a dependent I'm going get even more money back so I hit my mom to get the pace up and sheit like all right we go by I hit her back like M I still need to pay St like you know and she like all right I'll give it to you so finally I get it and my mom was making $6,000 a year $166,000 a year and then what I struggle the most with now is like you know that and so you almost feel obligated to help with anything because you now know that reality but with that comes the burden of knowing that and carrying that and carrying someone's issue because now when they hit you with the issue you're like ah I still remember XYZ and this that and like I know they don't make that much I can do this here but it's just just a trickle down effect and like that shit's hard to deal with yes that [ __ ] is overwhelming bro 100% it's it's a crazy every single day and I remember I I seen I seen it's one of my favorite quotes Jim Carrey said uh matter of fact it was Robin Williams he said um I wish everybody was rich so they realize money is and everything right because everybody think about you look on the internet they man if I made what made I wouldn't even yeah all right you're all right you you have no clue with the side of the fence what comes with with this The Good the Bad and the Ugly it's not it's not for everybody you know what I mean I seen a [ __ ] I've seen a stat about the amount of people who won a lottery over like the last 30 years like over 70% of them would broke you know what I mean because you didn't have to you didn't have to work for this yeah it just came so now you just you have no value of the money because it came to you out of [Music] luck you you put out a tweet based on Mental Health uh around Allstar Weekend and number one I applaud you for that because that was huge um and I think I think what it did was it opened the door for people like myself and other guys in the league but not only in the league just around the world for people to say wow like I struggle with that too and it was such a courageous thing for you to do you're often looked at as like soft if If You're vulnerable you know um he weak is this is that when when you say you struggle with something and when you did that I was like ah a lot of people are going to have something to say about that one you know and did you get blowback from that because it's never all good like although you may like people may see like oh man he got support like know there was some blowback from it had to be yeah it was it was crazy bro I remember it was Allstar Weekend La we was on the road I was tired I hadn't seen the girls in a while and I was just more excited just to get home to [ __ ] see my daughters you know what I mean like I'm like I need that refreshing like love that don't give a damn about none of this stuff you know I mean so I get back get to La I remember just the overwhelming feeling of like all I'm in La damn I'm on the side of the rits everybody ask me for tickets to the allar game you like it it like everything started to come and like the first day like I was like I was just going crazy and I think it was I think it was Friday night I didn't go out I was supposed to go out I remember getting dressed I laid in the bed it was like 8:00 and I just didn't move bro like I couldn't I didn't have no interest to do nothing be around nobody I had I had everybody downstairs at the house dressed ready to go out Sprinter outside like the whole nine bro like it was just like and I just didn't have nothing in me bro I felt so exhausted mentally emotionally and I just laid there I didn't tell nobody I wasn't going out I wasn't this locked the door and I I laid in in the room by myself and the middle of the night I tweeted what I tweeted and I didn't think nothing of it it was just me being so lost in my emotions at that time and that moment I didn't think nothing else I didn't care about nobody else feelings or reaction all I cared about was minds and how I could get this off because obviously I wasn't sitting here talking to nobody so [ __ ] [ __ ] it I'm going just tweet this I'mma tweet how I feel right now in this moment and I put my phone down with to sleep you know you have a bad night usually you wake up and you refresh whatever was the day before you forget it move on next day so I get up the next day and I was fine all right got some rest I'm ready for the day picking my phone it's my God what what the [ __ ] is this you know what I mean like absolutely like and it was it was one of those early mornings where we had to go sign a bosss we had to do the signing we had the practice and everything I remember getting there and it was like the day we had meeting we had media and all that [ __ ] right so everybody coming to me like yo what this mean what is this you know you gonna have to say this you going this and this and I remember when I was signing the balls I remember it was a couple I forgot who it was it was a couple guys came up to me and say you good like everything straight you know what I mean I was just like yeah I'm I'm good what's up cuz I'm not thinking of the Tweet you know what I mean but you see all the guys catch on to it and I and I felt more so than worry and concerned of didn't want to know if I was good so it turned into me just saying like man you know what [ __ ] it this is how I feel you know what I mean like I I didn't feel weak I didn't feel no type of way cuz then that moment I I it took me back to like the amount of [ __ ] I've made it through and with through I could never be less of a human I can never be less of a man you know what I mean and it just opened me up from a different level to want to speak about it and make myself vulnerable and I'll be lying to you saying like I knew it was going to have the impact that it had it was just me just wanting like I was screaming out for help for so long but in all the wrong ways instead of talking to somebody and I think me doing that just opened me up to one to express it and to see the response from it it was it was even more overwhelming in a positive way because it's like damn I had this effect on on somebody like bro this is just how this is how I've been feeling like you know what I mean so you telling me I've been feeling like this if I would have said something it would have helped you know what I mean then you start to carry some type of guilt because it's like yo if I could have helped to this magnitude I would have been did it but you know I just wasn't ready for it until that moment so I'll be lying to you tell you I knew what I was doing it just I just had I just had hit my wall that that that moment that same year after that season I was traded knock me to my [ __ ] knees of a place that I thought I would be forever it it the the the feeling that I felt was was I can't even explain it to this day you know what I mean and it put me in an element of three years of trying to search and find find myself from basketball perspective feeling like you know the doubt creep in questioning yourself how much longer there GNA be getting caught up in the [ __ ] n narrative that Sports people experts waned to put out you know you kind of you kind of fall victim to the [ __ ] you know what I mean and during that whole time you know um my dad was sick the whole time it was countless times I was flying from San Antonio to La just to see Minnesota that La wherever I had a two days in between if I was on the road I was flying home just to be able to have moments with him you see what I'm saying I was carrying that on my shoulders of the only man that I ever feared and gave me everything that I I known up to that point you know what I mean it's crazy just how deep even our relationship go I remember San Antonio I picked you up from the hotel we driving back to my house you asking me how pops was doing and when I told you I told him I said I don't think he going to make it I don't think he GNA make it this I've never talked about this I don't even think I told anybody in my circle this we rolled in the car we had a conversation and I told you I don't think he gonna make it you know what I mean absolutely and a week later he he he passed you see what I'm saying so this was the [ __ ] that I was consistently carrying through this whole time and i' I never made a peep out it I I never wanted to be a distraction to my teammates to work anything so I always was there for them just like I was trying to be there for you know my dad see much as I can for moms and all that [ __ ] that [ __ ] took a toe but I still was being an ultimate professional teammate friend and everything but unconsciously that [ __ ] will weigh on you you know what I mean outside people couldn't see it you know what I mean I didn't I didn't scream out loud I didn't say hey look at me like I I took it on the chin but I lost myself at the same time and people don't even know this you know this from the simple fact of our our relationship when I buried my dad the same night I had I had a daughter and I and I go playing a game yep I remember the next day ab you see what I'm saying absolutely nobody had a nobody had a clue about this so emotionally the highs and lows that I was going through was beyond what outside people could ever understand but if you have a bad game they want they want to trash you for something they want to say this they want to have all these opinions they want to have all this but you don't know this [ __ ] that I'm carrying I'm going through every single day on top of even before that one of the hardest [ __ ] I didn't see the call I got my dad went to the hospital a couple days before he passed you know it was during covid so nobody could go to the hospital I never even spoke on this it was it was it was crazy for me because I play in a game in Minnesota after I got the call win the game do some amazing [ __ ] win a game fly home sitting on the plane for three hours by myself just in my thoughts and my feelings just like I was [ __ ] up to get home to where the only way I could see my dad is on a on a computer with tubes all in his mouth all in the [ __ ] you see what I'm saying to where we talking to him he unresponsive so I see my mama sit in front of the laptop for six hours talking to him you see what I'm saying like that's the [ __ ] I was carrying C like sit there to to to the nurses and doctors have to come in and say you know we got to charge the computer we but she talked to this man like he was talking back to her the whole time for six hours you know what I mean that the the the the heaviness and the pain that you got to see your mother the only man she knew for 40 something years go through that [ __ ] was hard then I go playing the game couple bit couple days later just to get it the call a couple days after that he you see what I'm saying so it's like this is the reality for me that I that I deal with and carry that I always try to get people to understand like it's a it's a reality out here yes people get so caught up in all this fake [ __ ] you you you GNA be just like everybody else like these trolls and [ __ ] that's on Instagram all that like it's a reality if you don't deal and can't handle reality that [ __ ] don't discriminate against nobody it's going to come and you you can't pick and choose on what it what is what it is you got to be able to handle it and you know that's the dope thing to be able to have relationships with people I could call my friends you see what I'm saying because nobody never knew these things you see what I'm saying I never would have got through a lot of [ __ ] if it wasn't for our our relationship our phone calls you know what I mean little [ __ ] like that so it's it's dope to be able just to have this conversation at any time because I always say this for me this is always like my therapeutic relief this is like my therapy you know what I mean for me always feel like you don't got to go through a therapist because if you can sit and have a conversation with somebody close to you you gonna leave from here with weights lifted off our shoulders feeling good because you got so much [ __ ] off our our our emotions that we normally carry so it's [Music] crazy I've always said and I've said this to my teammates in front of my teammates before the NBA had you know you know the NBA have they have a a a clinical psych a clinical psychologist come in and speak to the team and let you know hey um if you need to speak if you need therapy we're a resource for you blah blah blah and in those meetings I've said to my teammates like and every time the guy comes I say yo can I get your card like I'm I'm reach out to you and I've said to my teammates like there's been times where I'm like oh man I'm going to go to therapy like yep I'm ready to go it's the time now I'm ready to do it and like every time I talk myself out of it like oh nope I just figured this out I don't need to go like and like for me personally I don't understand how somebody can push themselves to go to therapy I have not been doing it I identify that I probably needed to go to like to speak to somebody maybe like at least at least four years ago we'll just stop at least four years ago I still haven't went I talk myself out of it every time like ah you know what I needed to go for this this and this thing but nope actually this just happened I'm fine I don't need to go I've talked myself out of it a million times and you know I worry for people um that may not be as mentally strong as I am that may not have as tough skin as I have that they deal with that same fear like like yeah I need therapy but find a way to talk themselves out of going and they may not have this relationship you know where like you can call somebody and talk and like not get judged and and just get it all out so then where do you turn or do you deal with it you know like like for you like did you even process any of that stuff you really don't understand the magnitude of how much you lose yourself until everything come come crumbling down you know what I mean and and like you said I I didn't proc process all that because it was on to the next it was always on to the next it's back to that childhood mentality of like man don't worry about just keep going you just fell just wipe off you better keep going you better not stop it was it was that mentality that that's so embedded unconsciously that that forced you to just just keep going no matter what the [ __ ] going on long as long as long as I'm waking up I'm I I got to go I got to go I got to go not realizing in a moment you running from so many of your problems you putting yourself in in a much more deeper emotional strain until it just all come crashing down and even with that element of of finishing out that season to going to the summer to not knowing what my next step in life was going to be as far as where I was going to play where I was going to play basketball like like I just dealt with being unhappy and doubting myself for for three years so I was ready just to settle and and try to decide on just stay home let me just stay home and just indulge in all this [ __ ] that I'm already in you know what I mean and you see how just certain things work and the opportunity for me to go to Chicago happened and all those emotions that I had I pushed that into motivation of of feeling like it was another opportunity for me you know and I remember you giving me that call and you talked to me how you talk to me about you know expressing it and and and being the one to you know vocalize it don't hold it in you know and you gotten my about that [ __ ] you the only person who got on my ass about that [ __ ] and it's it's it's something that people don't realize this this in the same year of me losing my dad me having my daughter me about to have a have a son to to the point to where I remember we was playing y'all in Golden State you kept calling me you kept calling me come to the house man what you doing what you doing what you you going to LA tomorrow all right all right and I kept avoiding your call because I knew I already knew I wasn't ready to hear your mouth that night you know what I mean I'm already got to play you we already got to play the next day I didn't want to hear your mouth blah blah blah and all this [ __ ] and I remember getting on the plane going to La and you was like what you f to do what you like what you and my son was born the day after we played we played y'all and I'm going to LA to you see what I'm saying absolutely I have a question help me get to therapy as someone as someone who's done it like help me get there because I can't the same way listen I was the same bro I was the same way I was the exact same way I used to find every excuse not to go I remember the first two times I went I was in there just bullshitting like yeah that happens no yeah sometimes I'm in there bullshitting and I'm just and I'm I'm like I'm doing it a disservice you know what I mean when it's like cuz in my mind I'm looking at you like yo you you don't come from the same walks of life as me how you going to understand if I break down this story story about when I was 12 years old I got jumped by six dudes because I had on the wrong color and I got to walk back to my grandma house and explain to my mama what just happened you know what I mean do do you know what comes with that you know what I mean like so I used to find every reason to avoid that to where I just got to a point to where like let me just let me treat this like it's a film session and really just in indulge in and see what I can find you know what I mean even if it's one thing I could find like that's how I really looked at it like let me treat it like a film session even though I know what happened in the game let me see if it's something I could see that can help me that next possession and that's how I took the approach about it and I S in my first one that I really took serious and I and and it and it and it opened something up to me and made me realize why why I indulged in such a dark place so much and I was okay with being in such a dark place and it took me back to my dad being a person who always used to lock me in the closet I was crying screaming kicking the door he laughing to where the day I stopped Kicking and Screaming to get out the dark closet he stopped putting me in there and it became a norm to me to be okay with being in the darkness and that just translated to to to so much chaos in my life like I needed chaos CU I felt comfortable in chaos because I had it and went through it so much I needed it I I thrived in that you see what I'm saying to where once they put it in that perspective I was like what the [ __ ] it opened up so much other [ __ ] to me to where it's like all right long as I could find out one thing bit by bit over a span of time it's going to amount to something that I probably never would have figured out if I didn't go to therapy you know what I mean and that's how that was the approach I took that took took towards it to help me cuz I was the same way bro same way I feel like it's going to uncover [ __ ] that I may not be ready to deal with but once it's uncover you cannot deal with it you can't deal with but that's what that goes back to what I said to where sometimes you got to allow life to break you down even when you're not ready for it so you could you could realize what you need to be better at you know what I mean we can't pick and choose when when we want the good and the bad to come you know what I mean you got to you got to take it and and understand once once it break you down all right how can I build up to be better like and some [ __ ] you got to uncover so you could be the best you down the line whether it's a father whatever it may be you know what I mean and that's that's the approach I try to look at it like because I was terrified of certain [ __ ] getting getting open up because we try to seal like I know for me I used to try to forget so much like I I don't look at like pictures from high school I don't like I don't like looking at pictures from with my homeboys and all that [ __ ] because there so many people that I lost that I always felt like if I look at that picture it's going to take me back to certain moments that I try to forget never happen you know what I mean and I was like I can't be that way because I'm just I'm just cutting out a piece of my life that I'm carrying unconsciously but I'm acting like it didn't happen but I got to understand why I can't look at these pictures or why because like I need it because I'm still running from so much [ __ ] like you know what I mean so I I I I try to get myself to the point of understanding let me just chip away at one thing at a time with myself emotionally because like it just it helps me out in moments and I think even going into this past season I found such a such such a calm emotionally what made me do a lot of things I was able to do in in games this year because it was like like it just put me at ease like nothing else mattered but this moment right here nothing else mattered you know what I mean and it took a lot for me to get there and that that came from from therapy honestly the first therapist you saw is is is still the same one that you no no no I went through I ain't going to lie I went about three four so how do I get comfortable with like how how do you so how would I identify that you know what like actually this not the right fit I know for me the therapist that did it for me he broke himself down and made me feel comfortable with all right cool he made his vulnerable in a sense of not in a sense of it just not being about me you know what I mean he gave me a whole rundown like yeah I'm blah blah blah blah blah blah my dad was this you know I came from this and this like you gave me a whole rundown that made me realize okay like [ __ ] you gotta store your damn self so are you and it became a conversation it didn't become I'm reading off this sheet so um Draymond Green I see you from you from Michigan okay so tell me about it wasn't that it wasn't it was more so like godamn like like we two human beings really having this conversation and and you look up two hours go by and you like you really been dug in some [ __ ] you know what I mean and that's for me that's how knew you know what I mean I didn't want to I didn't want to go through the laying on the couch you know yeah I have a dog you know the generic [ __ ] you know what I mean it was something that that just connected both of us and it didn't feel like [ __ ] and didn't feel like you talking to me because you learned this through school it was like you talking to me because you want the betterment of me as a human being like and that made it easier for me to have conversations after that I thought that I thought I thought going to therapy would I thought all type [ __ ] I'm like if I go to therapy I ain't gonna be no I ain't G but it it helped me channel my Powers even more in a sense you know what I mean like no [ __ ] like and granted it's it's one of those things that you got to just continue to go through you know what I mean it's not like I'm gonna go five times and I'll be good like it's just one of those things I try to I try to go at least once a week and sometimes this once every other week you know what I mean but I just try to get there because I had moments of thinking like man I go to therapy man I might be a [ __ ] after this man like but it wasn't that it was just more so of me honing in on my on my capabilities on my emotions on my you know what I mean it was like on call like all right now it's it's kind of like when the Hulk start to realize how he could turn in to Hulk smash or he could be Bruce Banner when he it's kind of like that that's how I took it you see what I'm saying like it was more so of controlling that so if a [ __ ] just flicked you I'm not about to go green for no reason you Ain you not about to make me get to that point but I can if I want to Without You flicking me then that's that's that's the true power in it so it's it's crazy you you said that because I I I I thought that too I'm like man I'm not about to do this [ __ ] this [ __ ] about to hand me soft but it just helps Channel your emotions completely different than you ever expect it you know what I mean I mean I I worry about it in a sense sometime of like losing my fire because my fire like my fire is a skill I think my fire that I have that I play with is like an elite an elite skill no question in and so and it's a lost art for me when I look at things like therapy I'm like no CU that's going to make me channel that or you know pull back there even more now what I will say is is like I said and I I spoke about the sessions thing when I went through that process I'm like all right I felt like I figured some things out and like it was therapeutic for me and I felt like I Grew From it and and that was big for me but yet I still have like the like I felt like that was different like I went on a journey and like you know was in nature and all of these things like it was super relaxing and it was just a different as a to like walking into an office and like you said sitting there looking up like by the way I told you I've never been a therapy I thought that was like a thing off the movie like where when they're shooting a movie and they say they show somebody with a therapist they're sitting there looking up I just thought that was a thing for the movie I didn't think that was like really a real thing but I do struggle like with the whole thought of of losing my fire and like that drive and that thing that pushes me in the Nast Ness like that's that's been a key driver in my career and I and I worry about losing that and so I'm just like ah yeah I don't need to go do that yet I'm fine that won't be the case you can bro you was born with that [ __ ] you ain't gonna lose it I'm telling you you a't you ain't dog I could assure you you not I can assure you not you just give it a shot like you know you just you you unlock certain [ __ ] in a different way that makes you even more of a a [ __ ] you know what I mean like that's that's that's all it is that's what I took from it bro honestly and I and I and I and I dug in with some [ __ ] I just never thought I just talk about you know what I mean but it just made me more of of that just more of in a controlling way you know what I mean so it's crazy it's crazy I feel the same way you felt dog and then and then my last issue with it is how how do I trust this person and all of my [ __ ] and not going to do nothing with it true that's another thing I struggle with like I'm about to tell you everything you can hold me hostage now that's how I look at it I was the saying way that's that's really how I was thinking about it like I'm about to like I'm about to tell you some [ __ ] that nobody know like godamn this this makes for a great movie If I tell you [ __ ] I'm [ __ ] cuz I did look at it like man you probably didn't talk to countless people you know everybody [ __ ] I I looked at but you can't because you just got to you just got to go in there just like look once you make up your mind you going to go you going to get everything you need out of it you know what I mean but anything you hold back like if you go back into if you go into it thinking any type of way you're not gonna give your all into it to try to be the best you could be you know what I mean you gonna Short change it because you gonna think like I'm not about to tell them this I'm not about to tell you know what I mean it's like yo you you you genuinely you got to approach it with the betterment for yourself that's it man I I appreciate it because also no one ever tells you they [ __ ] went to therapy and failed like oh man I went through four people like you never get that everybody you see that you talk about about therapy they act like they went to therapy and and it was just that and I know like it has to be like there's no way everybody just went to therapy and then they walked out of there like yep I found my therap like but no one speaks about that side so when you talk about like um continuing to grow the awareness of mental health and mental illness no one speaks about the failures of it like no one tells you that which is yo I tried four different people on the fourth time I got it right nobody tell you that so guess what for me if I go once and I'm like yeah this person ain't like like if I don't have this information then it's I just charge to the game like what I tried it and although that wasn't the right person or the right fit in my mind I tried it and that wasn't the right thing most people do do look at it that way for sure you know what I mean but also I feel like and I always tell people this like granted it isn't for everybody because sometimes this could be just enough of some people you know what I mean but for me I look at it like we going to go through some type of trauma that we going to need some type of help with and you know is therapy isn't a thing that you going to go to 10 times and you be fixed it's just something that's that's a cushion for you to give you that push to continue to keep going you know what I mean it's just one of those things that you know let me just keep myself sharp in an understandment of myself so I could keep it going when [ __ ] do happen you know what I mean granted like I'm far I'm far from perfect you know what I mean I'm far from fixed I'm far from anything but it's an element of me that I feel more confident I can move to the next thing and get better with that and the next thing this has always been our safe haven no matter if [ __ ] going good or going bad to be able to compete and play basketball that's kind of really our therapy to be able to release so man bro it's it's beyond a honor a pleasure one of my good friends my brother you already know when this basketball stuff stop you know we family today end AB I'm more than appreciative you doing this for me I wouldn't want nobody else to kick off the first the first one but you bro always been there for me no matter what it was for man you you know Vice vers you know I appreciate you again all the love all the love at all time and you know the [ __ ] talking that we do all day about anything randomly it's going to continue bro I appreciate you no I appreciate you having me on man it's like I told you for me to see you continue to flourish and grow and find your voice and find your passion like for me that's everything because I ultimately want to see my friends like flourish you know and you flourished in basketball for years like at this point that's easy you know and to see you continue to chase other things and grow and like open yourself up like it's such an incredible thing so I thank you for allowing me to be the first guest for every one of you out there after this you will not be the first guest because that's me thank you my brother I appreciate it [Music] [Music] absolutely

Channel: DeMar DeRozan

Views: 200,019

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Id: zU8HDrAjSsI

Length: 45min 56sec (2756 seconds)

Published: Wed Feb 21 2024