Dialogue Dive: The Best Written Scene In Whiplash (How to Write A Hook)

this video is sponsored by Squarespace I'm actually using their awesome service to make my own website so stick around until the end to hear more one of the things that I get asked a lot when editing for clients is how do I get people interested in my writing now I know that might seem like a simple question that is best answered by be interesting but I always look at it from a more technical perspective in my mind what a client is really asking is what writing techniques do I need to employ to get my readers interested right off the bat and my Universal answer to that question is you need a hook so what is a clock well a hook is any early circumstance or event that inspires a reader to become curious about the story's implications or conclusions basically in more simple terms a hook makes a reader go I want to learn more about this or I want to see how this ends books are incredibly important in written work because reading an entire book is a huge time commitment so proving to your reader early and quickly that there is interesting content in store for them is crucial agents and publishing houses love hooks and virtually demand them from anyone who wants to work with them professionally even outside of books hooks are used in movies television shows poems etc hooks on a fundamental level are built around words like but except in however some examples are a surfer is on a small island just yards away from shore but a bloodthirsty shark is swimming in the water around her a billionaire builds ooh on an island except the animals are all dinosaurs that eventually break free an ambitious young musician gains interest to a prestigious conservatory however his instructor is an abusive sociopath that last one as you probably noticed comes from whiplash a piece of fiction with a phenomenal hook I want to use the rest of this video to get my view as a professional editor on what whiplash does so right with its hook of course you do not need to be a professional editor to appreciate or enjoy whiplash because it's just a great all-around fill but my hope is that I could point out some of the finer more technical writing details that might go missed to help learning writers out the scene we will be looking at is Andrew Neiman's first rehearsal for Fletcher famously known as the knot my tempo seen for those of you who haven't seen my previous dialogue dives the game plan will be to watch the scene together and as I notice aspects of the writing I will pause the scene and break them down if you would like to watch the scene in full without my commentary I will include a link for that in the description below I wish I could just show you guys the full scene in this video but because of certain YouTube's policies that sadly is not possible however that doesn't mean we won't have a good time so without further waiting let's get into whiplash all right gang whiplash a little under tempo okay Neiman just do your best there we go [Music] let's hear some fills so there are two things that I want to point out first like many great scenes this scene is written in a three act structure we have an introduction which we just started and an inciting incident that will come later a midsection with rising action and then a climax with a resolution this is important because it creates the sense of the scene being its own complete narrative the audience is simultaneously watching a piece of a story and a whole story at once the movement from low conflict to high conflict keeps the audience engaged and interested with the scene the second thing I want to talk about deals specifically with the hook now there are many different ways of delivering a hook whiplashes hook is delivered via a narrative twist meaning the hook is not only supposed to grip you it's supposed to surprise you a pretty common-sense thing to keep in mind about narrative twists is that they can only have impact equivalent to how much the audience doesn't expect them but simply the more your audience is led to believe why the more surprising X will be for maximum effect X should be the inverse of Y if you want to twist that a certain character is dead make the audience believe they are alive if you want to twist that a certain character is good make the audience believe they are evil how does this all relate back to whiplash well the dialogue so far with paint Fletcher as a kind-hearted caring teacher little under tempo the initial part of the scene the introduction is all about setting up Fletcher as a kind instructor in order to capitalize on the twist that delivers the hook pay attention to it as we continue on little trouble there let's pick it up at 17 five six not quite my tempo here we get the first glimpse of Fletcher reacting to a mistake this provides a demonstration to the audience to show them what to expect from Fletcher when a mistake occurs again in the future but as I said earlier the functional purpose of this is to make the audience believe why so they do not expect X another cool thing that this dialogue does is establish Fletcher as an expert on his craft the scene uses a common writing technique to accomplish this it has Fletcher the mentor comment and react to a mistake that neither Neiman the student or the audience the onlooker noticed it builds up the mentor character as precise watchful and knowledgeable cognizant of details that less experienced people are even aware exists Star Wars the Clone Wars does this exact same thing when Count Dooku is training General Grievous this scene in whiplash does a fantastic job of not only delivering a great hook but of establishing the character details of Fletcher he doesn't wait until the song is done or whispered and even that the tempo is off he stops the entire song cold on a single mistake this speaks to the Fletcher that we see later and gives a basis to his more wild behavior downbeat on 18 so here is another example of the patient understanding anti Fletcher being impressed upon the audience the scene makes sure to show it again Bar 17 the and of four and again not quite my tempo it's all good no worries this right here is actually one of the most important lines in my opinion Fletcher tells Neiman that it's all good no worries this is the audience's chance to see Fletcher demonstrate restraint after mistakes this again pulls the audience in the direction opposite of the hook so that when the hook is delivered it could stand out even more throughout the next moments of the scene there will be multiple demonstrations of this all coming together to set the table for the climax why do you suppose I just hurled a chair at your head and even I don't know sure you do the tempo were you rushing or were you dragging okay so here we have the establishment of the inciting incident for those of you who may not be familiar the inciting incident is the event in a narrative which establishes the conflict and spurs the character into action also because the inciting incident has been established we now have finished the introduction and have entered into the midsection this is where the rising action of the narrative takes place and as you will see the conflict between the characters becomes increasingly intense as the scene continues hence rising action now let's rewatch that last bit one more time because this is where the hook is introduced [Music] why do you suppose I just hurled a chair at your head and even I don't know sure you do the tempo were you rushing or were you dragging so this dialogue delivers the twist and due to the construction of the scene the hook as well contrary to the traits and temperament that we had seen prior from Fletcher now Fletcher has hurled a chair at a student's head and chosen no remorse for and thanks to the dialogue we as the audience know exactly why he did it were you rushing or were you dragging Fletcher is fixated on Neiman's mistake and instead of the patient composed Fletcher of the introduction this Fletcher in the midsection acts inversely becoming angry and violent remember twists only have impact equivalent to how much the audience doesn't expect them so all that build-up we get in the introduction is paying off now a first-time viewing audience would be caught totally off-guard by this putting them in the same position as a Neiman and that right there is the beauty of the scene in a movie called whiplash while the main character is playing a song called whiplash the audience has just experienced an extreme change of pace and direction the twist and hook come so quickly that they jerk both the Niemen and the audience into a direction that they weren't ready for I consider it a wonderful artistic choice and speaking from a functional outlook the hook works because it has instantly created multiple questions that the audience will want answers to why is Fletcher reacting so strongly why has no one else reacting to his reaction does this happen all the time was a Neiman rushing or was he dragging the only thing that really matters about a hook is that inspires the audience to seek answers to the questions of the narrative and by basing the hook on the question of rushing or dragging the scene itself becomes about the hook the hook is based around being interested in the conflict Fletcher provides to Neiman the more antagonistic Fletcher is the more intense and alluring the hook will be keep that in mind while we watch as the rest of the scene is built around showcasing every aspect of Fletcher's hostility start counting it five six in four damn it look at me one two three four one two three no was i rushing or was i dragging this is a great example of dialog that really creates rising tension Fletcher has graduated from verbal abuse to physical abuse yet all of his dialogue still points towards his fixation on Neiman single musical mistake it not only creates further questions for what this event means for Neiman Fletcher and Schaffer as an institution it gives important character building details about Fletcher since this scene also functions as his character introduction so you do know the difference if you deliberately sabotage my band I will [ __ ] you like a pig here we have the most important line of dialogue given in the scene Fletcher says if you deliberately sabotage my band I think this was an absolutely fantastic choice of dialogue from an editing perspective it really entertains two options both of them providing information on Fletcher option one is that Fletcher is so neurotic and anal about his music that he genuinely believes that Nieman's intent was to purposefully degrade the quality of the band or option two which is honestly better in my opinion is that Fletcher understands Neiman is making honest mistakes but perceives incompetence as being equivalent to sabotage option two would mean that Fletcher literally believes that Neiman isn't smart enough to realize his mediocrity is an affliction that should be punished interestingly we actually get to see Fletcher say this exact thing when a trombone player is out of tune now either you are deliberately playing out of tune and sabotaging my band or you don't know you're out of tune which I'm afraid is even worse but the beauty of the situation is that it doesn't really matter whether it's option one or option two all that matters is that one simple line of dialogue revolving around the word sabotage has informed the audience of Fletcher's outlook and why he is having this outburst oh and very quickly it is going to be a video about dialogue I cannot skip over I will [ __ ] you like a pig this dialogue was actually a misspoken line by JK Simmons but the director thought it was so unique that he kept it in the final cut of the movie this actually pairs well with my outlook that all great dialogue is unique the best writers find ways to make even mundane lines sound interesting at the Battle of dialog is to make it memorable and this pig line does that excellently no are you a rusher or are you a dragger or are you gonna be on my time what does that say quarter note equals 215 call me a 215 a one two three four one two three here we have another step in the dialogue that supports the hook Fletcher now has moved into personal insults on top of that though the scene is kept focused by all of Fletcher's rage being funneled into dialogue relating to Nieman's musical talent the core of Fletcher's antagonism is his relation to Neiman as his instructor which is also the hook am I to understand that you cannot read tempo can you even [ __ ] read music what is that yes what is that here we have Fletcher questioning Neiman's ability to even understand music on a fundamental level we are at an inverse of where we were in the introduction where Fletcher praised him as a Buddy Rich here he demeans and interrogate him sight-read measure 101 [ __ ] group play the goddamn kit are you one of those single-tear people do I look like a double [ __ ] rainbow to you okay this dialogue is cool because it comes just this close to breaking the fourth wall Fletcher remarks on the cliche of single tears a common trope in fiction to show a person in quiet restrained pain when a character in fiction points out a cliche of fiction it could be used in two ways the way most commonly used is for comedic effect like what we see in Deadpool wait for it whoa superhero landing yeah that's really hard on your knees however another is for dramatic effect a fictional character pointing out fictional cliches can create an air of seriousness intelligence and superiority as if they are above the medium they are in take this example from Elastigirl in The Incredibles remember the bad guys on those shows used to watch on Saturday mornings well these guys are not like those guys they won't exercise restraint because you're children they will kill you if they get the chance do not give them that chance as the scene in whiplash is basically founded upon Fletcher being in a position of dominance over Nieman dialog that creates this effect really works you must be upset are you upset no no so you just don't give a [ __ ] about our unit I do even [ __ ] about bar you upset yes or [ __ ] no yes you are upset yeah so the dialogue here creates some nice detail notice how quietly Fletcher is talking compare that to just a few moments ago now instead of insulting Neiman he is inquiring about his feelings well Fletcher's dialogue and tone are very unpredictable almost erratic again this works to keep the audience uncertain and interested mystery is the fuel of interest keeping Fletcher as fluid within his own character locks in more of that audience attention say it I'm upset say it so the whole band can hear you I'm so this signals the end of the midsection because the next few lines of dialogue or where all of the conflict comes to a head also known as the climax before we move on to that though notice how Fletcher's antagonism toward Neiman has changed yet again now he is purposefully publicly humiliating Neiman drawing in the other students into the abuse again the more multifaceted and varied the conflict that Fletcher presents the more gripping the hook becomes because the hook is based around Neiman's interaction with Fletcher the more brutal Fletcher is the more interests will be created in the audience about how Niemann copes with this situation now let's look at the climax you are a worthless friendless faggot-lipped piece of [ __ ] whose mommy left daddy when she figured out he wasn't eugene o'neill and it was now weeping and slobbering all over my drum set like a [ __ ] nine year old girl so for the final fatherfucking time say one cool thing i will say about this climax and really almost all of Fletcher's insults is that they always come back to music the scene does a great job of subtly establishing Fletcher's character and what is important to him because really he is the driving force of the hook start practicing harder Neiman whiplash bar 125 bigboy tempo five six and that right there is our resolution Neiman is kicked off the drums replaced and told to practice harder but he doesn't leave the rest of the film now is given an opportunity to play with the premise that the hook has set up the relationship between Neiman and Fletcher and just like that you have listened to me blabber through another famous scene in all seriousness I hope I could provide some insight into it makes a good hook in fiction and the things that whiplash does well writing can be a bit nebulous sometimes so I hope this video was able to make things a bit more clear and if you are a person that likes clarity and ease I would highly recommend checking out our sponsor Squarespace whether you need a website for a school project personal use or business Squarespace is there to make the whole process simple absolutely no computer science degree is needed creating website with their service is as easy as pointing 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Channel: Savage Books

Views: 28,867

Rating: 4.9834967 out of 5

Keywords: how to write dialogue, savage books, writing a hook, whiplash, video essay, dialogue dive, how to write a screenplay, screenwriting tips, how to write a book, not my tempo whiplash, the joker

Id: akXWpvZuruY

Length: 19min 53sec (1193 seconds)

Published: Fri Dec 20 2019