Detailed explanation on how to use a Backpacking Bidet--Buy a Holey Hiker Bidet! See Description!

do you poop in the woods i also poop in the woods and in this video i want to share with you a few of my tips and tricks for pooping in the woods just not any kind of pooping in the woods but pooping with a bidet and how to use a bidet properly just a special note to my mom and dad all those years ago when you spent that money to send me to college i'm sure you never dreamed that at age 51 i would be making videos that start off with do you poop in the woods just to make an extra couple bucks actually i'd be lucky to make a couple extra bucks on this video but anyway i could have started with some other lines do you want your pooping experience to be the highlight of your backpacking trip do you want to leave almost no trace after you poop in the woods do you want to go lighter and leave all of your toilet paper at home do you want to hike squeaky clean when you are backpacking after pooping in the woods with zero chafing what if i told you i have something in my backpack that will revolutionize the way that you poop in the woods so those are some of the other uh lines that i considered starting off with um but uh in the end this is nothing more than a video about pooping in the woods and how to use a bidet and uh like i normally do in a lot of videos i want to tell you right up front what you're going to get so you can decide whether or not you want to keep watching i'm going to front load this video with talking a little bit about why you might want to consider using a bidet so if you are a new bidet if you are not a bidet user i'm going to try to convince you to possibly get one uh then the second part of the video is somewhat like some of the other bidet videos that i've made uh and if you've coming to this video from those the difference is going to be that since making that video a long time ago i have had so much more experience with pooping in the woods and i'll get to why that happened and so i think this one is going to be a little bit more descriptive also after making that last video i think i can kind of push it a little bit more with my my comfort level and describing just exactly how you would poop in the woods i think any time someone makes a video on pooping the woods it's kind of hard because you know we i don't know even though everybody does it you kind of hold back when explaining how to do it so i'm going to try to be a little bit more descriptive and specifically answer a lot of the questions that have come up in the comments of the other videos and i think by the end of this video i'm not going to try to make this all sorts of bells and whistles it's really just going to be a flat out informative video for people who are considering using a bidet for people who want to stop using toilet paper and people who just want to know how to poop while squatting and squirt yourself clean yes that's what i'm making videos on how to poop and how to squirt yourself clean um mom and dad all that money spent on my college education is now uh is now being used to make pooping videos that you know make me an extra 75 cents a month so thank you very much so basically there's three things you can do when you poop in the woods you can bring toilet paper like a lot of people but of course if you bring toilet paper you're also leaving toilet paper behind unless you are packing it out and i don't know that kind of somehow crosses a line for me having a backpack full of poop when i return to my vehicle the second thing is obviously to use nature to use the sticks and to use the leaves and to use the rocks and to use the moss and to use the snow and i have done those i can tell you that it does work um i think probably it helps if you have a little bit of experience and maybe someone guiding you through what to use it might be a little rough if you just think you can just kind of like grab a hunk of leaves and just keep wiping but that does absolutely work and you leave no toilet paper behind um it's maybe just as good as toilet paper but the best option and one that i have not found that toilet paper or natural objects beat is just bringing a bidet now this is the holy hiker backpacking bidet uh this is one that i have designed and i was really hoping it was going to be on sale with this video but fortunately a tester found a small problem with it over the summer and uh i've fixed the problem but now it's going out to another set of like 50 testers from across the country and once i get that feedback back that verifies that my fix has corrected the problem hopefully they will be on sale by january 2021 so you can check the description and if you are watching this in 2021 check the description and hopefully there's a link to the website where you can purchase one up until that point i will leave a link to coolo clean which is another backpacking bidet that a lot of people like using i also like bringing a bidet just because of its size and its weight so i don't know how much toilet paper you would bring i just happened to grab this this was on one of our rolls in our house and i brought it down i know for you hardcore people you're gonna point out that i did not take the center out of the toilet paper i forgot to but you can you know generally get a sense that well this is a different bidet than the one i grabbed before the yellow one but it's still a holy hiker bidet you can see that it's going to take up a lot less room in your backpack all right the other thing too is that what i'm holding in my hands weighs twice as much as this bidet right here uh so this bidet is weighing in at 12 grams i what's that 0.2 0.2 something ounces somewhere around there um but this is gonna weigh more so generally if i'm going for more than just an overnight i'm bringing more toilet paper by weight than i would the bidet and again you bring in the toilet paper you're leaving the toilet paper behind or you're bringing it with you the other thing is that you know this bidet is going to fit right onto my water bottle and so i don't need to bring in anything extra i know some people in comments before have mentioned how they bring separate special squeeze bottle that's attached to something that they use for their bidet but this is just my normal water bottle that i would bring and it just pops right into the top of it um actually since i have this water bottle out let me address another question that a lot of people have had and that is how much water does the bidet use now this is one of my test bottles that i used back in probably april and may or something like that and each line represents the amount of water i used every time i for each poop and so out of one smart water bottle i was able to get 17 poops and generally i use somewhere between two and 500 milliliters of water i know some of the early testers that gave me back their numbers trended more towards 500 milliliters of water and i think this is one of those things that the more you use a bidet the less water you end up using probably because your aim gets better i'm not sure so you can see that i mean literally even with that amount of water right there i've still got almost four poops left in this bottle so no problem there the last thing that i really love about bringing a bidet and this is gonna sound silly but literally like i just have a bidet that is you know dropped in my backpack and it just sits there and whenever i go backpacking i never have to think about toilet paper and i know that sounds silly but that's just like it's one less thing to think about uh you don't have to think about how much uh you don't have to think about do you need extra are you bringing too much um the other thing too and if you are a new backpacker maybe this has never really come up but if you've done multi-day trips you ever had you know you bring your toilet paper you've pooped on the first day you pooped on the second day maybe you've even squeezed out a second one on the second day and now all of a sudden you're thinking all right do i need to start conserving my toilet paper do i need to start holding back and just use a little less amount and when you bring a bidet you can just poop away anytime you want to and never have to worry about bringing enough toilet paper all right i think we're officially getting weird in this video all right and now we're getting to the part of the video that probably everybody has made it this far to see and that is how to actually poop in the woods with a bidet but just like any great show i'm going to keep you hanging on a little bit longer because i just wanted to share five other facts if you are not convinced right now i just want to share five other facts with you that will convince you that you should be using a bidet and these are more to just humor my inner middle school teacher self than to inform you but uh here we go five facts fact number one if you bring a bidet while you go backpacking on average you will save 12 trees for every backpacking trip that you keep the toilet paper home backpackers that use the days suffered 32 percent less injuries on their backpacking trips in an early stage in an early survey of the 2021 appalachian trail through hikers 78 of them said that they would consider using a bidet 42 of the backpackers going next year on the appalachian trail for a thru-hike are already using a bidet so you might have heard that people in denmark generally score highest in the world for happiness levels the only group of people that have ever surveyed higher than people in denmark for happiness are people two years ago when a what do you call a graduate student did a survey of people completing the continental divide trail and the people who use the bidet while on the trail scored happiness levels above and beyond even the people of denmark all right walk with me and let's find a spot now i can kind of go back here so this is a really easy spot to find a place to poop in the woods and a couple of things to consider uh number one is and this is going to sound silly but if right here there is a slight hill i don't know how much this is going to be able to pick up on it so obviously you never want to face uphill because once you start squatting down your weight is going to bring you back the other thing too is you don't necessarily want to squat on a downhill it is easier um but at the same time it does mess up your uh your squat a little bit now i've seen in other videos people who have said that you know they will hold on to a tree and i am going to recommend not holding on to a tree and the reason for that is because it messes with the shape of your squat and your colon can i do this like this your colon is it your colon that comes right out where the last place the poop comes in whatever that is right before the poop comes out it's kind of shaped in a there's kind of a kink to it and so it's made so that when you squat it kind of opens up and so if you do hold on to something it messes with the shape of that squat meshes with the shape of the colon i don't know it messes with it and so oftentimes you'll see people who will um i don't like they'll raise their feet like if they have a toilet in their house they'll raise your feet uh it's not the same as squatting it doesn't put that whatever i cannot remember the the the anatomy the term for that part of your anatomy but it does not place your colon into the correct position to poop as easily as you can yes so squat the other thing you want to consider is what is in front of you when you are squatting now i can only speak to what it's like squatting as a male i'm not sure for a female but obviously if you're a male you're pooping out of one end and you're going to be peeing forward and again this is going to sound silly but it's important things like little leaves like this sticking up even things like like this the weave oops where is it i just knocked it over with the leaves are pointing forward or even like squatting and not paying attention to like a log or if you're squatting and having the rocks in front of you what is going to end up happening is when you pee it's going to bounce back and so you definitely you know you want to be careful about what is in front of you to make sure that when you pee it's going to reflect out and not back to you or to any of your shoes all right now it gets a little bit weird i just have to warn you that i do have normal shorts under these pants so when they come down you don't need to look away all right now the next thing is you have picked your spot and now you're getting ready to squat this is also going to sound a little bit silly but when you have your bottle and you have your bidet one i think of the mistakes that someone might make in the very beginning is you come to your spot where you're going to poop and you bend down and it's automatically you put your bidet in front of you um so you don't want to put your bottle in front of you because obviously you'll pee on it so you kind of put it over to the side okay uh the next thing is let's do this from the side so i suppose anybody who does this has their own technique um and i know that even though some people might have one technique versus another there are some that are better there are tips and tricks that are better than others so if you have a suggestion on how i can improve then please let me know i have decided to poop like this because once i started testing the bidets not only did i make the bidet but i had to test it every day and so literally from probably i tell you one of the benefits of the coronavirus lockdown is that basically from march all the way until september i got to test my bidet almost once a day so uh however many days in a row that is that's that's uh it's added a lot to my bidet experience and this is generally what i do so you've picked your spot there's nothing in front where it's going to reflect off of don't go too wide so you don't want a big wide squat that's it's like just i suppose you can do that maybe that is maybe that's my new technique is to go elbows on but what happens is you're still forward so if you can kind of look at the side that's still not a proper squat position your colon is still kinked it's not in the shape that allows the poop to come out the easiest so here we go remember i have shorts underneath here so what i do is my pants come down but i gather them up above my knees all right and so i don't know if you can kind of see that oh yeah this is weird oh my gosh i'm 51 and making another video i'm pooping in the woods anyway so i pull them down and i gather them at the knees now if you happen to have like uh legit hiking pants they're normally very flexible like these are kind of like outdoor hiking pants i would just gather the whole darn thing up like this okay then you've got nothing down below your knees it's right above your knee and when you squat it kind of is all gathered right here and so what i'll do is if they're in the i don't know if you can see that i don't know what the best way to see this is but i kind of grab it right in the middle and so as you're squatting everything is out of the way there's no pants hanging down there's nothing that's loose if you don't have pants that can come up like that then obviously if you still just grab it you know they're still going to be out of the way i know it's kind of hard to see and i'm not going to make it any easier to see but when you poop and you pee it's not coming by your pants at all okay and so again i find it easiest to just gather it all right there and then squat and go okay now you don't want can i talk like this how about this how about if i get dressed again and talk how's that now you don't want to go too narrow and you don't want to go too wide with your legs so you kind of find that perfect sort of position and to say that it takes a little bit of practice absolutely the other thing too is that some people said well you can't squat you have leg issues and all of that you know you go for the best squat that you can um it doesn't have to be perfect but again i think washing up with the bidet is still going to be better than using the toilet paper if you're wearing shorts it's the same sort of thing i pull them down gather them right above my knees and then poop all right uh i'm not gonna get into cat holes in this video i'll let that be your own research um but i suppose what we talk about next is how to wipe all right now i'm going to leave my pants on if you don't mind so i i know i just said uh we're going to get to wiping but there is something that i forgot and i have to attribute this next tip to a viewer i forgot to look up who it was but this is one of the best tips i've ever gotten on this channel and that is to pre-spray before you poop now on the holy hiker back back in bidet i don't know if you can see it there's an arrow there and that arrow it tells you exactly where to put your thumb and so when you have your thumb where the arrow is pointed when you come around with the bidet it's always going to be pointed the right way now pre-spraying has become i think one of the most important tips that i could offer up i think you end up using a lot less water and just it's a lot easier to clean up with and so let's say you've gotten your squat down everything is going good and so the first thing you do is you reach back and you squirt and so the water is going to come out if that's kind of visible like that now if you are a just a beginner bidet user what you should do is aim high again you've got a crack in your butt and so if you aim high all the water rolls down the crack if you aim too low it comes shooting out the front of you and it doesn't really help so if you're nervous about using a bidet if you're worried about your aim if you need to figure out like where do i start aiming first aim up high again your shirt's going to be up your pants are down and so you could aim up high like right even like right here you'll feel it and then you can slowly bring the bidet back down to where the poop comes out and all of that spray that you just did will be coming down and wetting your butt so after you poop then become that now it's the easy parts you know everything up to this point was a little complicated you're done pooping everything's great all you got to do now is wash up and this is where i think a little experience will come in handy like right now with my bidet i have used this so much i've used only the smart i've used a lot of different water bottles but primarily this smart water bottle so i know exactly how to squeeze and everything might take a little while for new people to kind of adjust to that but you you all you do and this is going to sound silly relax your cheeks relax your cheeks if you're out pooping in the woods with a bidet for the first time you're probably a little tense so you've just pooped you're now about to squirt for the first time and you kind of clench and things close up a little bit so let the breath out relax let your butt crack open up and let the water get in there that line was not in the script and so again make sure you know where the hole is on the holy hiker backpacking bidet it's easy to find with the arrow and then you're going to squirt now i prefer one big squirt other people might squeeze squeeze squeeze if you're new it's probably a squeeze you can feel the water and then aim it how much water you need is gonna depend on you it's gonna depend on your aim it's probably also going to depend on what you eat if you're a vegan and if you're a plant-based it washes off in a split second if you're pooping big greasy globs i suppose it's going to take a little bit more water all right all right now let's get to the final wash up the moment you've been waiting for when you actually have to touch your butt with your hands now i know a lot of people are going to think this is gross but allow me to put this in perspective for you hold on i have some props all right one second let's say that this is your butt cheek and let's say that's the poop now normally what people do is they go and get toilet paper this is a perfect example of toilet paper this is what is between your finger and poop when you're in home yet nobody tends to think that this is gross that all you have is that tiny little piece of paper between the poop and your finger and then the next thing that you do at home is you have poop on your butt cheeks and you attempt to wipe it off right and you get too much then you toss it right and then you gotta get more toilet paper right and then you wipe it off right and then it's still some there so you get another piece and you keep wiping it what you're really just doing is spreading it around to the point where it's so thin that it's clean now compare it with a bidet all right you've got the poop on your butt right there you've got let me try to hold this properly here you've got the bidet right there all right it's off it's done it's clean and your hand did not come anywhere close to it and again i know i get that a lot of people think that it's the next part is a little bit gross but just think about that for a second it's the difference between taking that paper and smearing it around and then you keep going backpacking and hiking for the next 24 hours and do another poop then you smear that one around and then you go hiking for another 24 hours and you take another poop and you smear that around do you wonder why you end up with chafing do i end up do you wonder why you end up with monkey butt and all sorts of other sort of weird things going on down there and slippery things happen in your crack and so when you use a bidet that stuff doesn't happen it is like you are taking a shower after every time that you poop it's a totally fresh clean feeling a totally fresh clean feeling that line was not in the script either all right i hope you appreciate my ketchup and ziploc example there but it's the best it's the best thing that i could think of to like why you would want to actually use a bidet because you're not just spreading poop on your cheeks you're actually cleaning it off so after you oh i've been squatting for a while so after you have pooped after you have whoops after you have squirted with the bidet the next thing that you have to do is you have to check i guess maybe you don't have to check i do tend to check now what remember i still have shorts on underneath don't panic so i know people do this in different ways and i know that if you are of a in certain countries certain cultures uh certain religions that you want to use a certain hand um that is not something that i feel the need to abide by for my personal beliefs so please if you are of one of those groups you're just going to switch hands but when i do my bidet and my left when i'm done with the bidet i'll then grab my pants with my left hand and then reach under with my right can you see my hand sticking out there now what i do is i test with my middle finger oh god this is getting weird so that if you can imagine if you know with your butt these fingers kind of stay out of it and it's just my middle finger that kind of tests and what i'm normally doing is when i'm on my last squirts is when i feel and test and making sure that there is no poop that is left there if there does happen to be a piece of poop that is left there and you touch it it rinses right off like you'll never even come back up with it on there i don't know you know what everyone's personal level of experience is with poop i have a small farm i have worked on farms for years my hands have always come in contact with poop it really does out of all the different dirts it rinses right off and it's you know you'll be okay if you accidentally touch some um i think what's going to happen with a lot of beginners am i still sitting here with my pants down hold on i think what happens with a lot of beginners is that initially you're going to be learning you know like how much water to use and my guess is that you're probably not going to be feeling any poop because you're going to overdo it with the water and so as you fine tune it you might find that there's a little bit there and you might wipe it off as you are squirting uh and again i mean i have time and time and time you know like over a hundred times in the past year i have like when i've finished i have tried to find something on my hand and i just have never found anything it's always come out clean um the one thing that i do not have i did not bring down here is that when i'm all done um i have the antiseptic gel stuff so i'll squirt some in my hands wipe up there are going to be two places that people tend to what forget to wipe up and that is tops of fingers the other place and this was some study i just read is that the tips of your fingertips is another place that people don't normally uh clean up on so people are really good about their palms people are good about the in the in the middle of the fingers um but getting the fingertips and above is one place that you'd want to wipe i think earlier in the video i did address splashback that is one of the questions that have come up the most do i need an extra bottle do i need to do any splashback or do i need it to do anything special and again it's kind of hard for some reason not doing this for real i never seem to be in the right position but when you're squatting and you're holding the water bottle if you can i don't know if you can see it in the video the water is coming down so the water is coming down to your butt and then obviously it doesn't splash up at the same angle so if you're coming down at this angle it then has to bounce at that angle so you're not going to get splashback on your bottle unless you're holding it really really close which if you have a good bidet if you happen to eventually order the holy hiker backpacking today you don't really need to be that close so if you've made it this far in the video i don't have a doubt in my mind that you have what it takes to try a bidet i don't care if you wait until january 2021 to try one of the holy hiker bidets you can go down in the description and you can find the link to a coolo clean backpacking bidet but if you have watched this much in the video my guess is that you're probably a beginner and you're trying to absorb all the little tips and tricks and so if i can just give some suggestions to people who are starting off and that is if you could find some local trail to just give it a test on and i know that if you're just going on a day hike you're probably not pooping but literally just pulling down your pants behind some trees and squirting your butt um oh and speaking of squirting your butt the other number one question that a lot of people have asked is do you dry no there is no drying you just you're only hitting a tiny little part of your body you're not like wetting all of your butt cheeks and so many times um this past year when i've been backpacking i've thought to myself okay i've just pooped i know people are concerned about how long it takes to dry let me time it and so i'll kind of look at my watch you know it's 12 22 and then let me see how long it takes until i feel it's dry and it happens so quickly that i never remember like it's out of my brain it never bothers me so all of a sudden i'll be like an hour later i'm like i never checked so having feeling wet is not a problem past the first couple of seconds the other thing if you are new that you might want to do is to poop in your toilet and use your bidet in your shower i know one of the viewers gave that as a suggestion and i was like that's pretty good um and you know and even if you're not going to actually wash poop away from you just to actually have a place to try it in some privacy um i think there would be a lot of uh anxiety about using it for the first time especially if you are someone who this is really like a foreign thing to like this is like out there um but it is definitely worth it it has definitely changed my life i feel so much better about not bringing toilet paper and leaving toilet paper behind and i think the number one benefit for me is just feeling clean like no matter how many days you go you're just always feeling clean and you're never feeling like it's getting kind of raunchy down there and you're getting that monkey butt thing going on and chafing so there you go yet another video about the days because the internet needs more backpacking bidet videos i hope you got something from it if you do have a question please leave it in the comments i'll normally get back this time of year within 48 hours or so and again if you look in the description hopefully by january 21 there will be a link to purchase the holy hiker backpacking bidet thank you

Channel: Paul the Backpacker

Views: 40,368

Keywords: bidet, backpacking bidet, portable bidet, pooping in the woods, pooping while backkpacking, bottle top bidet, screw on bidet

Id: MV-fJbJm8HY

Length: 33min 14sec (1994 seconds)

Published: Sat Oct 24 2020