Okay, so today we are doing another "dear
authors." This time we're talking about writing emotions effectively. So, if you're
new to this channel; to this series, this is a series where readers chat with readers
about what works and doesn't work for us in books. I posted a community tab asking what
works for conveying emotions effectively and what makes these things kind of fall flat. So normally
i try to keep uh my critique work out of it. I try to keep this all about readers discussing
and i am just kind of the facilitator of it, but there was a lot of technical advice given in
this one. There were a lot of technical things discussed so i'm gonna bring some critique work
stuff into it. I won't let it dominate the video, but it is gonna be in the very first thing that
we discuss because the most upvoted comment was: "Refrain from stating the obvious. She cried,
he was depressed, they were happy and hearty... Let your writing do the talking and let the
readers feel emotions as they go ahead." So writing emotions, conveying emotions appropriately
is one of the most common things that i spend a lot of time working with authors on when i'm
critiquing manuscripts. So this is something that comes up a lot. This is obviously "telling" versus
"showing" when you state the emotion as opposed to writing the emotion out. But "show" don't
"tell" is much easier said than done and also it doesn't really fully convey what's
going on. So things that come up a lot: "He said, angrily," "She said, grumpily." These
are examples of stating emotion instead of drawing out emotion. You want to paint a picture
that the reader can step into rather than just stating fact and moving on. So how do you do
that? Instead of saying: "He said it angrily," "He shouted! "He slammed his fist on
the table!" "He snapped!" instead of: "She said grumpily;" "She crossed her
arms." Something that also comes up a lot as far as dialogue tags go, which is
what we're talking about right now, is um... showing and then telling. This is also something
that i'm constantly working with authors on. A lot of times the they may say: "She sighed with
frustration." "He yelled in anger." This is what we call "hand-holding" and readers hate this too.
Good job. You're halfway there. The author showed us the "sigh," but then they overstated it by
telling us because they don't trust the reader. We can see the "sigh" and we can understand that
you're exasperated, that you're tired, that you're frustrated, that you're angry. We can see that
you're shouting and we can assess that you are not happy. Showing followed by telling feels to the
reader like the author doesn't trust us, thinks we're stupid, is talking down to us and doesn't
trust us to see emotions and understand what those emotions are. Readers are smart. Trust your
readers to see what you're writing, read a scene and understand it. Why does this matter?
Why can't you just state the emotion? Why do you need to do it this other way?
The honest answer is because if you want, if an author wants readers to actually feel
emotions we need to feel like we're there and when everything is filtered through
either the the the character's senses, or okay... i'm walking a tight line here. I'm not,
i'm not trying to go into intense writing advice. When things are simply stated and then we move on
(which i'm going to touch more on this in a bit) um it creates a barrier between the reader and
the scene. What, the best thing for the readers is if we're drawn into the scene and the best way
to do that is to make everything experiential, right? So we want to see the emotions on page.
If we can see a character expressing anger, obviously we can understand that emotion is anger.
We've experienced anger. We've seen it. We know what it looks like. Someone slamming their fist on
the table; we will not interpret that as happy. We just, we're not going to do it. But what we will
do is we will immediately be drawn more into the scene because we've now watched something happen
that brings us closer and gets us more involved as opposed to just being told something is happening
and we're still keeping our distance. Bringing us closer to real emotion that we can see makes
us more invested in the story and makes us feel closer to what's happening. So this one is more
of a character thing than an emotion thing, but the two tied close enough together that i wanted
to show this one as well. "If your character is strong, let them break. If your character is
selfless, let them get mad. If your character is mean, give them a moment of kindness. If your
character is a heartbroken victim, let them smile. If your character has lost everything, let them
find something..." and it goes on. The point here is that characters can easily be one-dimensional
if the author wants them to be something and so they write them as that thing, but in order for
the character to be more of a human and someone that we can care about, whether we care about them
in like, we hate them, or we relate to them, or we don't want to be anything like them, but we're
really interested in following them. In order to have that kind of connection between character and
and reader, um having them have complex emotion and more than just one note of a personality is
very important and it's important for characters and readers to connect because we're not going to
care about a character's emotions if we don't care about the character. This is a big one: "Emotions
can't be rushed. If something tragic happens let the character grieve. It's not realistic that
the character would be fine the next chapter, but at the same time lingering too long can be
emotionally exhausting for the reader and you can turn them off as well." So this book, Shadow of
What Was Lost" is a popular fantasy series. It's one of my brother's favorite series and we have
very similar reading tastes. I really liked it, but one thing that i got really hung up on was
the character's emotions never felt authentic to me in that first book. The characters would go
through something super traumatic and they would process that emotion a little bit and then they
just go along on their journey and not think about it and it was as if they had forgotten about it.
It was as if it didn't... they just shook it off and kept going and kept going and kept going
until plot dictated that they needed to bring it up again and then all of a sudden they'd
feel emotions again so they could bring it up so that the plot could move forward and then they
drop those emotions and they keep going and moving on and nothing ever seemed to stick to them.
And that was really difficult for me as a very character focused reader. A lot of stuff happened
with these characters and nothing seemed to move forward with them emotionally and that made me not
continue on with the series even though i really enjoyed the plot and the magic and there were so
many things going on that were great about it. I was going to move on with the series, but i
forgot about it because i wasn't attached to the characters because the emotions weren't attached
to the characters. They fell right off. Characters can't just shake something off and characters
aren't gonna just forget about something big, and we're not just talking about deaths here.
We're talking about anything that can happen. Maybe a broken relationship, uh maybe a betrayal,
maybe i don't know. It could be, it could be even small things and it and it doesn't have to
be something that the character can't get over and constantly thinks about brings up around
every corner. You know, there's a balance, but it's something that has to stick with them in
order for it to actually have any emotional significance, otherwise readers are just like,
"Why did we even do this so this?" So, this is a really good one as we're talking about showing
versus telling. Here's the other side of that. "As an actor and as well as a writer, it has to
come from a place of honesty. Physical sensations and emotions can get too flowery too quick. You
don't need to write: 'she boiled over with anger like a thousand erupting volcanoes' every time
a character gets upset. And not every confession of love needs to result in sex. Extremes can harm
your writing more than help it, so finding places where you can restrain your character's emotions
as well as allow them to process can be useful." So i recently interviewed Joe Abercrombie talking
about prose as well as we talked about characters; writing great characters as well. I'll
link the video. One thing that he mentioned is that when he first started writing he would
say something really elaborate when describing the sky. I don't remember the example he gave.
And he had his mom read his book and his mom said: "But is it though? I mean, is is that, is that
honest? Is that really what the sky looks like?" And and Joe said: "Well no. Not really." And and
his conclusion to that, his point to that was to write things honestly. Is it honest? Take a
step back from how you've written something and is it honest? And the the example just given, their
emotions bubbled over like a boiling volcano of i don't remember, but is that honest? Is that
an honest description of what's happening? Really getting inside your body and thinking,
"What does an anxiety attack feel like? What does it feel like to be truly disturbed? What's it like
to have so much grief that it feels like you're drowning?" I kind of just described what it feels
like. It feels like drowning. But the point is what is it, what... the emotions that you're
trying to describe. What does it feel like? Does it feel like an um in a volcano erupting a
thousand times over again or does it feel like something a little bit more honest? Getting inside
of your body, getting inside of your skin and writing from within is almost always going to be
more effective. But then also, this is something that comes up a lot with critiques so i'm going to
hop over to the critiquing side of things again. You would be surprised how often it comes up where
a character will respond to extreme frustration or grief by jumping up and down and shouting to the
heavens. That comes up a lot in manuscripts and i almost always, no actually i always try to help
the author find a better way. These over-the-top, extreme reactions don't translate well to paper.
Maybe somebody out there in the world does jump up and down when they're super angry and bawl
their fists up and shout at the sky. You might be that person. I'm... live your life. That does
not translate well to paper. To paper that looks like a three-year-old throwing a tantrum. It ages
the character down and it ends up looking really melodramatic which totally pulls the reader out
of the scene and makes us roll our eyes. There is a balance and admittedly it's not always
easy to find for not going over the top where your adult character now looks like a toddler
throwing a tantrum; doesn't look melodramatic, it doesn't look ridiculous and silly, but looks
honest. Again, it's all about getting inside your own skin, getting inside your own body and
writing from what something actually feels like instead of trying to be flowery and over the top
and trying to describe it uniquely this time... writing honestly is almost always better. This is
great. Variation. "I've always had this problem in many pieces of media where all characters have
the same reaction to everything. For example, if someone were murdered everyone will be
written off together as sad. This needs to be elaborated on. While one character may be feeling
terrible and angry after his best friend's death, another might be extremely annoyed that their
source of information was extinguished. Characters can feel the same things in many different ways.
Only writing down the reasons when convenient is honestly quite lazy and emotion can still
be natural without being the same as the main characters." Again, i'm gonna recommend that
video, that interview i did with Joe Abercrombie because gosh, it was so great for writing
characters. I really admire Joe's prose and i love that he can take um which, he writes The First Law
Trilogy and um he writes a bunch of standalones. He has other series, he has a lot of books. He
could take characters with different accents from different countries from different cultures with
different backgrounds with different moral codes, and he can make every single one of their
individual voices feel completely unique. When we change perspective from character to character,
you know whose character's head you're in even if you miss their name, you know where you are
because every character has a distinct voice in the way he writes them; in the way they think,
in the way they perceive the world and in the emotions they display; the way they emotionally
react to their environments around them. Some of them will be hardened, some of them will be
melodramatic on purpose and not in a cheesy way, some of them will be very very emotional, or um
very very closed off. He has completely different emotions, completely different personalities,
completely different ways of viewing the world in each character's head that he's in. I really
really love the way he did this in Best Served Cold. I highly recommend Best Served Cold. It's
a standalone and you can start there even though all the Joe Abercrombie fans are screaming at
me right now, you can. You can do it. Anyway, the way he described that is the way to accomplish
that. To not just copy and paste the same emotions on every single character, is to really get to
know your characters. Get inside their heads, find out what makes each of them tick, what's
individual about them, what their beliefs and moral codes and the way they see the world
is, and then right from that character's point of view. Right from what you know about
that character. The way they express themselves is going to look different for each character
if you truly know that character well. Again, go watch that interview. He was so good, so helpful.
But this is a really good point and something that i definitely want to make sure is pointed out
because it's too easy to copy and paste characters so that they all feel the same and if you have a
multiple POV book, oh my goodness is it such a sin to make every POV feel exactly the same. Make
sure they experience emotions differently and if there's some big, catastrophic thing or emotional
thing or big thing that happens in the story, different characters experiencing their grieving
or their frustration or whatever they're feeling in individual ways is so satisfying to
read. "I think books more than any other medium of entertainment allow the consumer
to really get inside a character's mind. I feel like a lot of authors don't utilize this,
especially when there is so much potential for the readers to connect with the character on a deep
level." So i'm going gonna give another example for critiques. This is something that comes up
often. A lot of times authors will state actions and forget to bring in emotions and when we're
in a very heavy moment that is terrible for the reading experience. Let's say a character is
in captivity and just got a hold of a phone. They're trying to quickly make a call before the
guards come back. They call their friend and their friend doesn't answer or their friend answers
and doesn't recognize the call and tells them to leave them alone and they hang up. This
would be a bummer for your character. If the author writes this scene as uh... they
picked up the phone, they made the call, oh no! They didn't answer. They left a voicemail.
They made another call. What a relief to hear that person's voice! They hung up on them. Oh
no! They move on to the next thing trying to find their way out of this prison cell. I don't
care about anything that just happened. In fact, i will probably forget about that moment because
nothing impactful happened in what should be kind of an important scene, at least emotionally.
Taking the time to write out the emotions of a scene can make that scene so much more impactful.
If the character is listening to the ringing, waiting with bated breath, listening around them
for footsteps or for someone that's coming back while they're waiting for someone to pick up
and for the ringing to stop, and then it goes to voicemail and their heart drops. They leave
a rushed voicemail and then they call the next number. They wait for the ringing again, they're
listening to the footsteps around them. Someone picks up. A wash of relief comes over them! Their
voice actually chokes up when they say hello, distorting their voice making the person on the
other end not trust them and hang up. They sink to the ground and the tears fall their head falls
into their hands. They can't believe they missed the opportunity. The scene can pass by completely
unmemorably if it's just description, description, description, description, but when the time is
taken to write in the emotions of the scene, as a reader we're suddenly on the edge of our seat.
We suddenly care about this phone call. We care about this character that's life is on the line.
That this is their one opportunity to get out of this terrible situation and when and when the
character drops the phone on the ground and breaks down crying we care. We feel the phone drop,
we sink down with them. We are devastated too. Writing the emotion into the scene rather than
just writing descriptions of what's happening makes a world of difference. This is more of
an opinion and less of like, technical advice, but i really like it so i'm gonna say it. "This
might just be me, but if your character is in a hard situation (most aka most stories) and doesn't
break at some point it doesn't feel right to me. Maybe a tough character finally lets themself cry
or someone has a meltdown or gets really angry and screams and shouts, but at the breaking point of
the story. I really do want the character to break in some way." So it can look different for every
character and every character's breaking point is going to be on a different scale from the next. A
breaking point may just be silent tears, it may be this big emotional thing, it may be shutting
down completely. But it's true, i do agree. If a book is really going to have some major
impact on me, if a character is in a tough situation, hitting that breaking point; it
usually is the moment where i'm like this might be a new favorite book. Because that's
such a big part of care... of readers getting fully melding with the character and being there
with them. It's good stuff. Okay, i'm almost done. I'm gonna do a quick one that got a lot of upvotes
that's basically a list of just solid advice; good things to keep in mind and then we're going to end
on a C.S. Lewis quote. "Men cry and women can hold in their emotions and vice versa. It's not called
reversing roles, it's called life." Just a note, i agree. I know it's stereotypical that the man
is a strong guy who holds back his emotions and can't talk through things and the woman is
the one that cries over the drop of a hat. As someone who is in a marriage where the woman
holds back emotions and the man cries at the drop of a hat or just feels all of his emotions... um,
yeah. It's not called role reversal, it's called life. Humans are complex. "Having a character
feel like their feelings are invalid because other people didn't react the same way in the same
situation... react to the same situation in the same way. Characters feeling guilty talking about
their emotion when others around them are going through worse. Not everyone knows how they feel.
Let us feel your character's confusion. Let them make decisions that they question later because of
their feelings. Characters aren't black or white. They're more like gray. A kind person will make
selfish mistakes and a selfish person will have moments of kindness." Again, this is kind of just
a list of general great things to keep in mind and it all boils down to: characters are complex
and not simplistic. So write them that way the best you can. Okay, i'm gonna end on a C.S. Lewis
quote um, but i want to point out one other book because i haven't given a lot of examples of
books that write emotions really well. One book that has been fantastic for me for experiencing
emotions... well, i mean Fredrik Backman is really good at this, so check out some Backman. But Pet
Semetery by Stephen King. The whole book is an exploration of grief. It starts out with a small
(comparatively) uh bit of grief. A small tragedy that happens and then it levels up and levels up
and levels up and levels up. And it experiences different levels of grief and desperation uh as
it goes. And i think King did such a fantastic, fantastic, fantastic job at exploring that
grief and at having these complex discussions and and really showing us the different levels
and the different ways of processing it and experiencing it and having really difficult
discussions within the book. I've said this before on my channel, but in case you didn't hear
it yet um... i first read this book shortly after i had experienced a very personal and painful loss
and in that time i had read several non-fiction books trying to process my grief and they were
great and i appreciated them and i learned a lot, but it wasn't until i picked up Pet Semetery that
i felt like i was really processing it. Like, Pet Semetery was the best processing of grief i
have experienced through a book and i know King worked really closely with um therapists and he
psychiatrists (i don't remember) He worked really closely with professionals to help him understand
this better so that he could do it justice and oh my goodness, did he do it justice! So this
would also be a really good resource for helping to process emotions, helping to be able to see
it done well. C.S. Lewis. "In writing, don't use adjectives which merely tell us how you want us to
feel about the things you are describing. I mean, instead of telling us the thing is terrible,
describe it so that we'll be terrified. Don't say it was delightful make us say "delightful"
when we've read the description. You see, all these words: "horrifying," "wonderful," "hideous,"
"exquisite;" are only like saying to your readers: 'please, will you do my job for me.' I love
this quote and i think it sums up this video very very well. So i hope you enjoyed this version
of "dear authors." Hope you gained something hope you enjoyed the discussion. If you participated be
sure to continue chatting about it in the comments and check out my Patreon if you want to buddy read
some great books with me or read some of my own writing. I post videos every Tuesday through
Friday. I'll see you guys again soon. Bye.
