day in the studio & not having all the answers ✨ STUDIO VLOG 25

[Music] big [Music] do [Music] so [Music] i'm feeling a bit like lost and at a loose end i want to paint but i don't really feel able to and i feel really held back by my space at the moment like i go through phases where i'm like obviously really happy with my space and then sometimes i just feel like i can't do in my space what i want to like paint big paint loads of stuff at the same time fling paint around you know i'll get paint on the bed sorry for the noise they're doing like works outside i just got this big canvas board out which i still had sitting here on touch um and i am just giving myself permission to not make art so this is me not making art i'm just doing stuff without the expectation that i am creating a painting so if all i do is stuff then that's good so sometimes it helps to kind of set yourself parameters like that especially when things are difficult so it's my tip for the day [Music] i gotta say this is actually really working for me i don't mean like whatever this is i just mean like the process i didn't know i could trick my brain like this by just saying like yeah just do whatever just do whatever it's not art it's not gonna be anything i'm actually doing stuff in a much more free way rather than like overthinking things and it's funny because you know a lot of my work has very complex background layers and the background layers tend to they don't necessarily have meaning they don't have deliberate choices or whatever um but it is during the background process that i often feel really anxious like you know like oh am i going to be able to do something or whatever so having no pressure on the background it's a bit of a revelation actually um yeah i really like what's going on oh yeah it's not in view i really like this kind of mixed watery colory acrylics that are going on here um most of this is probably gonna disappear in the final painting but i am not actually working on a final painting right now so it's all good okay so i'm gonna let that dry this is where my space is being because it's just oh it's difficult anyway moving on i'm going to um put this watercolor paper onto this board so i can do a bit more of this but not on this one i'm just gonna let that dry [Music] so blank and empty that's it i made art [Music] you think that's a representation of my inner self that's deep yo maybe i should just make art like that that'd be quick and easy it's like i like it but it doesn't you know it doesn't feel like what it is that i'm trying to do here ugh the noise but you know talking kind of honestly i don't know what it is that i am trying to do i know when it's not like that's not what i'm trying to do that's just a background even though for some people that might be a finished painting i really don't know that's kind of uncomfortable um just in and of itself it's uncomfortable but it's also from the point of view of like being on the internet and making videos and kind of going like well the thing that kind of is the like the overarching theme of what i'm sharing and what i'm doing is that i don't know and that's not you can't market that concept i do think that we kind of look for things that are finished or knowable or easy to interpret because it's comforting and not knowing is like the furthest away from comforting but anyway if you're watching this and if you enjoy my vlogs i hope that you're the type of person who is also on this journey of going through not knowing to maybe end up in a place where we know a little bit more i don't know what i do know is that i like my new earrings i made these myself hello again this is an a3 art journal uh this is very old this is what i just did and i am kind of coming to the conclusion like my takeaway is that i need to just trick my brain i was letting the other ones dry and then i was like oh i want to do something else maybe i haven't got any more things let's go in this big journal and then it just kind of comes out like i haven't made a decision yet about whether i like this or where it's going or or anything like that but it's just that the process feels good that's kind of what i'm chasing after i guess it isn't about making specific art it isn't about end product it's about the process and it's just such like it's such an elusive concept but i am realizing that the less attached i am the more i'm just going for it the easier or the better it feels and this session has definitely been about tricking my brain it's like telling my brain like oh no this is not going to be a painting you're just like making marks doing stuff and then when i grabbed the journal i didn't necessarily set any parameters but i think because it's in a journal i just feel free i actually had this thought earlier today that you know i've been talking about i'm very excited i've been talking about how i want to move my art from journals out onto like standalone substrates whether that's canvas or paper or whatever but i find it really difficult and then i was thinking well why don't i get myself some spiral bound sketch pads i hate sky spiral bound in terms of an art journal i don't like working in them but but if i got some of those maybe i could just you know have the feeling of art journal work except when you're done you can just like tear them out so it's kind of like maybe like a stepping stone like a like a midway point so that they can stay in the spiral bound journal if i want but i can take them out and sell them or like they can be stand alone if i want but hopefully bringing in that freedom of journal work i don't know but it's definitely a thing and it's definitely something that i can't really control so you know i am the worst person for being down on myself for like blaming myself for things that i can't really control um and then just like thinking that i'm bad and i should be better and make myself i'm really i really want to i don't know work with myself that sounds like a kind thing to do um and logical as well so yeah now paint in painting day thoughts many thoughts many thinkings [Music] so hello noisy it is now the afternoon i had some lunch um yeah i've basically just been painting all day um and like i'm satisfied but i don't feel good about it or i feel good about it but i'm not satisfied i'm not sure which one i also just got this in the mail um this is the third oops the third black work sampler so other people have done these and the person who sent me this also sent me stickers so yay and so i'm going to i've already made a little design on my ipad um let me show you so i've made a little design which i'm going to turn into another stitching square so this i'm taking the inspiration from my um uh i want to say inktober it's not october april art challenge from the april art challenge sketches that i have been doing i can't say the word challenge challenge um and obviously i made i did the sketches and then i made the earrings um and then i was inspired to make my stitching design with the same kind of imagery um i quite like doing different things like doing kind of serious art but then also doing that just as a kind of just like a creative hobby you know because you know when when being creative is is like a serious thing then having creativity just for fun as well is um uh is really nice so this is turning out to be like actual studio vlog i know i call these things studio vlogs but i am actually hardly ever here i'm always doing other things but yeah this is something that i want to do i want to spend more time here and like i've said before i want to prioritize art more yeah i sorry i hope you like that the advantage of having at lunch is that everything is now dry [Music] [Music] so [Music] [Music] let's have a little catch up i'm still feeling the same way like i would expect that having made as much art as i did today i would feel great i would feel so like an artist so amazing that i just don't and then i kind of feel guilty about it as well i think i'm in a space right now where i'm feeling really dissatisfied with my lack of togetherness or my lack of contentment i guess i feel like i have everything that i could want and yet i just don't feel the way i would expect to feel with that being the case does that make sense and like i i recognize it's you know it's probably just something to go through i deliberately don't say get through because i do think that i want to however painful or unpleasant the process is i don't want to discount the process like i mean i am so totally about the process right that's what i'm always talking about if you think of the unpleasant bits that are really important for learning as just stuff to get through rather than a stuff to go through um i kind of feel like you're doing yourself a disservice so i am but it's hard yo it's yeah and i don't really understand why why why is it so hard but yeah i was mega mega productive so i did loads of big work in journals and on canvas and on watercolor paper yeah so that is quite exciting i think i even finished the painting but i don't know because i don't know anything there's been a lot of existential i can't talk there's been a lot of existential angst in here i think i think that's just gonna be my brand i'd love to be like a happy positive person who like shows you how easy painting is but no i'm just my brand is existential angst welcome to my youtube channel [Music] [Applause] [Music] so [Music] it's a universal vlogger thing where we switch on the camera and then go like oh my god what's my hair doing you should look out for it it's saturday we had a really nice day out yesterday but i was knackered afterwards um and then this morning i was watching sandy hester's vlog she's really great like i really enjoy her vlog it's like it's such a nice representation of kind of an artist's creativity and like what the kind of like that inner dialogue and like going through the creative process so i really like them from that point of view i was watching them and she really shows you how she is with a painting that she's doing and i find that really inspiring and from watching that and doing this painting earlier this week and also discussing some stuff in therapy i am coming to realize how incredibly uncomfortable i feel being with a painting when i do painting and i kind of feel in flow it's almost like a hit and run this more kind of deliberately being with and staying with a painting i find just deeply deeply uncomfortable and realizing this is good but then there's also immediately like this feeling of like oh i've realized it now i need to change it like as if it's somehow bad and it's difficult to kind of escape from that feeling you know just the discovery of it means i need to change it and it's actually more uncomfortable to maybe say that it's not something that i'm able to change right now it's just something i'm able to become aware of but in a way becoming aware of it is actually more uncomfortable than not being aware of it yeah so i'd love to spend time with my paintings and i think also the fact that the background is basically nothing is this is another representation of this discomfort because when i'm painting a face it actually goes really easily it's like pain faces paint themselves for me but creating a painting that is something as a whole i find that really like impossible like i can't really do it i can do it if it happens automatically but i can't do it deliberately i can't stay with it and work towards something even if the something isn't concrete because obviously i never plan out what i paint but i think that even if you don't plan out what you're painting you can still stay with it and work towards something like grasping towards something and i just feel really unable to and i guess that's yeah something to become aware of and yeah so i initially was feeling like okay this is finished and now i kind of feel like no it's not finished but i don't know if it's not finished because it's not finished or just because i sorry screaming kids um or it's because i feel like it should be different i don't know i just i really don't know i don't know but that is just kind of some of the things that i am thinking about and kind of trying to figure out for myself no answers as usual [Music] you

Channel: Iris Impressions Art

Views: 900

Rating: 5 out of 5

Keywords: iris impressions, junk journal, junk journaling, mixed media, mixed media techniques, art instruction, art voice over, how to art journal, how to junk journal, art journal timelapse, art timelapse, art journal, art journaling

Id: oVpTvQjj9II

Length: 20min 19sec (1219 seconds)

Published: Sat Apr 10 2021