Creatures of Habit Week 2 - Lying

well guys I would tell you that I can off to be a man of integrity I consider myself to be trustworthy but yet if I'm being transparent with you today and honest with you today I have told my fair share of lies in my life and my guess is so have you and we all know that that's a hard thing to admit most of us probably none of us like to ever be called a liar in fact it raises our dandruff we get all upset if someone calls us a liar and yet if we really get truthful we know that probably well I'm pretty certain that every one of us have told lies at different times because none of us wants to be a liar so therefore we justify ourselves we make excuses for why we told lies in fact what we've done is we consider liars and thieves and and those that are outside the house of God but we're certainly not liars no one that's a Christian no one's a believer is a liar and so we want to what we do is that the things that the miss truths that we tell we justify we cloak them in a certain way and I'll talk more about that in just a minute and so I was trying to think about some examples of times that I've lied in my life and it was really way too easy to come up with examples on this but the the first one that came to my mind is when I was 15 years old I heard about an opportunity to get a job driving a Jolly Roger truck which was an ice cream truck this wasn't just ice cream bars they had soft frozen soft-serve ice cream on the truck and I thought it was really cool I don't know why I wanted this job so bad maybe because I like ice cream but I I wanted this job so I applied for the job he said well you know I need two people I need somebody to work the truck and I need somebody to drive so if you have a friend that drives I'll give you the job so once my cousin who was 16 I said I you I found us a job he's like I don't want a job I'm like I don't care I want this job so you're gonna take this job and so he agrees to it and so we go for the training day and they train us and everything on how to run the equipment and so as we're leaving he looks at me he goes Steve I don't know how to drive a a standard transmission I don't drive a stick-shift and I'm like no worries I do and so we took the job and the we the guy would park the truck at his house and happened be on a hill fortunately and so so we would get there and he would kind of give us the keys and wave us off and we'd get in the truck and I told my cousin I said just start the truck put it in neutral coast to the bottom of the hill and then we'll trade places and I'll Drive the rest night we did that all summer I was 15 years old I drove the Jolly Roger truck all summer long and I got my wish of working on and in an ice cream truck and fortunately fortunately he never found out and my parents never found out my cousin's parents never found out that that was going on and fortunately I didn't have a wreck fortunately I didn't hit a child and there were no casualties whatsoever but if I would have that lie would have got me in a lot of trouble and it would have cost that owner dearly and it would have cost my parents dearly but none of those things mattered because this is what I wanted and because I wanted it so bad I was willing to lie to make that happen all because I was willing all because I wanted this believe that guys I could give you all kinds of examples of times that are lying that don't say that with pride I say that with embarrassment I could give so many examples of times I've been less than honest for my own selfish benefit I was never a compulsive liar but I certainly was less than honest at times and yet I prided myself as I just got through saying and being a person of honesty and integrity of being trustworthy now before you try to judge me too harshly again I would say I believe that being less than honest has become a problem for every one of us at one time or another in our life so that's what we're going to talk about today for those of you that are our guest we're in a five-week series called creatures of habit last week if you were here we talked about self-centeredness today we're going to talk about lying and the whole purpose of this series and creatures of habit is that all of us at times for bad habits in our life we're gonna be looking at five different bad habits in our life I chose these bad habits because I've struggled with all five of these in my life last year a year ago we did it when in a series called I quit we looked at six other topics all six of those I'd struggled with as well and so I've got to believe that probably every one of us have as well while good habits or spiritual disciplines can help us to create positive results bad habits if ignored listen to me bad habits if ignored can become strongholds in our life and it can keep us from God's best of course some bad habits are worse than others I said last week I think self-centeredness is one of the worst because it becomes all about me it becomes all about my wants and desires will certainly line Springs out of self-centeredness because we so badly want our way we're willing to lie to get it get things our way I believe lying is also though one of the worst I believe it will hinder your personal as well as your spiritual development it can cause you to fall short of God's purpose and God's plan for your life and it can keep you Finnick from experiencing culty relationships and that's why getting control of it getting control of lying in our life is absolutely critical unfortunately in the world that we live today people no longer think of lying as that big of a deal several years ago I was before I was in ministry I had called on I was in business and I'd called on a hotel manager I remember it vividly as I was sitting across this desk and we were talking and he took a phone call and it was somebody obviously wanting to rent a room and somebody was not up front answer the phone so he answered it and I could only hear his into the conversation and the person obviously wanted a room and he's like oh no I'm sorry were sold out and then he said oh wait a minute I found the room here I've got one room left you want to better take it because it's gonna go and they took the room he said hold on a minute somebody will be at the desk and they'll take your call he hung up and I said to him my business must really be good he said what I said business must really be good he goes I said what you said you're sold out and he goes oh I lied we're not sold out I'm like what do you mean and he said well we tell him that because people didn't sense an urgency and so rather than think about it they just take the room because they think it's the last one I mean it was there was no shame in what he was doing at all I mean in his mind this was his normal business practice as you could do it's so much a part of life we just don't get upset when someone lies we don't get upset when someone exaggerated sore falsifies or fabricates or misrepresents or glosses over or tells little white lies because we've come to a place where we can justify it in our own minds we see it everywhere we see it in politics we see it in business and marriage and dating we see it when we file our tax returns we see it when we fill out a job application we see it in marketing we we hear it in the news media to even simple conversations to go on with a group of our friends Pamela Myers the author of lies spotting and she claims in a TED talk that she gave that were lied to between 10 and 200 times a day we are lied to get that between 10 and 200 times a day several years ago the Leo Burnett advertising agency did a telephone survey interviewed thousands of people on the topic of line listen to the results it was amazing was sad and scary 91 percent of those interviewed said they regularly lie in this survey 91% of those contacted said they regularly like get this 79% have given out false phone numbers or invented a new identity when meeting strangers on an airplane forget this so I'm just given some random ones 20% admitted they couldn't get through one day without going along with the previously manufactured lie can you imagine think about what do we lie about the most I mean thinking your own what do we lie about the most you know the number one thing we lie about in America our weight now that's funny to me because it's the one thing you can't even conceal it's the one thing everybody can see and you're like you know this is what I was yeah right it's like a years ago again I was in business and I was traveling and my brother-in-law worked with me at the time at the time he's lost a ton of weight but at the time he was a very very large guy very much overweight we were traveling and we needed to go from we took a an air shuttle to one city to the other and it's the only time in my life had been asked this and I don't know if they still do it but we went up to get our tickets and you know anything way your they way your luggage well then she looks at me and she it's a propeller plane she looks at me and she said how much do you weigh sir so I tell her how much I weigh she says to my brother how much do you weigh and he says a figure that I know is not right and I looked around in him I like dude this is not a time to lie about your way and I think if I wouldn't have said that she would have because it was pretty clear that he was not being honest well in the same survey they also found that money was the second most common thing people lied about and the third most common thing people lied about was their age which reminds me of the the lady that she was at her club of ladies and her daughter came in and she introduced her daughter as her 24 year old daughter and later her daughter came up to her and said mom you know I'm 34 years old why did you tell them that I'm 24 and she said because I thought I've been lying to them so long about my age that if I told them your age they'd figure it out people come to expect it people come to expect politicians and lawyers and lobbyists and journalists and talk-show hosts and anyone else in the public eye to lie if it serves their purpose teachers expect to hear my dog ate my homework policemen expect to hear my speedometer is off a lie a lie is what a lie is speaking an untruth with the intent to deceive God does not like lying in fact I can tell you he at solutely hates it in proverbs chapter 6 it lists seven things that God hates and what's fascinating to me is that out of the seven things God hates two out of the seven deal with dishonesty let's look at it it says there are six things the Lord hates know seven things he did test that's pretty strong language haughty eyes a lying tongue hands that killed the innocent a heart that plots evil feet that race to do wrong a false witness who pours out lies a person who sews discord in a family so out of the seven things God hates two of them have to do with dishonest dishonesty so why does God hate lying so much because guys think about it it's completely contrary to his very nature it's completely contrary to his character you know this passage in John chapter 14 Jesus told him I am the way the truth and the life no one can come to the Father except through me Jesus didn't say I speak truth he said I am truth I am the very definition of what truth really is as his people were called to exemplify Christ by being a people of truth when God chose the word God think about this when God chose a word to describe his character when God chose a word to describe his nature he said I am truth and yet on the other hand he referred to Satan as the father of lies in John chapter 8 it says for you are the children of your father the devil and you love to do the evil things he does he was a murderer from the beginning he's always hated the truth well first of all we know Jesus is the truth he's always hated the truth because there is no truth in him when he lies it is consistent with his character for he is a liar and the father of lies so you have the very you have the very character of God as truth the very character of the devil the enemy as the father of lies someone once said a man is never more like the devil than when he's telling a lie proverbs chapter 12 says the Lord detests lying lips he detest it that strong language but he delights in people who are trustworthy are you trustworthy or are you a person that keeps your word are you a person that people can depend on that they know that if you speak that they can count on that because you are a person that keeps your word of course lying comes in many different forms and I want to talk about seven forms of false testimony so pull your notes out if you haven't already I want you to capture this because here's where I think here's where I think we fall in Christendom today again we want to we want to say well I don't lie I'm not a liar liars and thieves those are people that are far from God but that's not me when in reality we do stretch the truth and I'm going to give you seven ways that that we actually stretch the truth and so the first one number one is deception deception Mark Twain was right when he said the difference between a person who tells the truth and a person that tells a lie is that the liar has got to have a better memory lies paid you into a corner because now you have to live in this false little world that you've created you have to keep track of every lie you told and who you told it to it's like if you're gonna tell someone a lie you better remember what you told them because the next time you come around if you don't talk the same talk they're gonna pick up that you've been less than truthful but if you always tell the truth you don't have to remember anything I mean the truth is the truth you experienced it you lived it out and so it's easy to remember when you talk to somebody about what you experienced but when you stretch it when you change it when you tell a lie or a fabrication you have to remember what you told and that's why it's so important to be truthful with one another because healthy relationships are built on trust now I don't want you to miss that statement because that really is the crux of this whole thing healthy relationships are built on trust whether we're talking about your Mary whether we're talking about your relationship with your parents or your children whether we're talking about a co-worker whether we're talking about your friends I don't care relationships are built on trust and so when Trust is chipped away at when Trust is taken away it is going to bring harm not maybe definitely it's going to bring harm to your relationship Paul says in Ephesians chapter 4 he says therefore each of you must put off falsehood he's talking to you and me we must put off falsehood and speak truthfully to your neighbor for we are all members of one body a husband lies to his wife and he tells her when he tells her that he's going to work late but actually he's really going to bar with his buddies now now some of you might push back and you might say Steve is it really that big of a deal that he went to a bar with his buddies and had a drink with them maybe not but lying to his wife is lying to his wife as a major issue it's a major problem why because when she discovers that he lied to her all of a sudden the trust in the relationship dwindles and everything healthy about a relationship has to be built on trust so what happens it's like the devil's a liar and so the devil's gonna try to do everything he can to convince you that there is that there is a lies going on in your marriage relationship so but if if my relationship is good with my wife and the devil whispers in my ear or whispers in Sandy's ear and tells her and says you know you know Steve's being dishonest with you he didn't really do this she is not even gonna question she's like no no no he would not do that I trust him completely the same I feel with her and that's the way you should feel with your spouse but if you find out that your spouse lied to you all of a sudden now when the devil whispers in your ear and says you know maybe he's lying about this you're gonna question all of a sudden there's not that foundation of trust that you stand on and so now when the devil whispers in here he really didn't go there maybe he really was someplace else maybe he was with someone else and there's these doubts that overwhelm you because the foundation of trust has been dissolved the foundation of trust has been chipped away at and they can take months if not years to reestablish the trust that this one lie shattered it's a serious deal guys some lies are told about other people for revenge or to hurt them when I pastored Church in Missouri several years ago there was a man in our church now we had an event that we were putting together with teens and we had a we had a troubled girl in in the team and and she told she went and said that he had inappropriately touched her told her parents her parents came in they were irate that were upset brought him in and of course he was devastated just this guy was I knew this guy well and I had a strong relationship and I knew that I knew that he wouldn't do something like that but you know we followed it through well after a few days of making a very long story short and there's so much more all this but after a few weeks the father comes back in and he said look I just need to apologize to you and I need to apologize to this guy our daughter admitted that she was mad at him because she wanted to play this part and he didn't let her play this part and so she was trying to get even with him okay so everything's cool right this man and this his wife were devastated I cannot tell you the damage that that one lie that girl told did lying is not innocent I don't care how we want a package that lying is not innocent it can do so much damage in a person's life now I know that scenario might be different in another situation so please don't say yeah but what this happens I know all that I'm telling you a story that happened to me into this man several years ago in the church and he was devastated by the lie of course I could give you a hundred examples of how we lie to cover ourselves the check is in the mail we service what we sell give me your number and he'll call you right back your luggage isn't lost it's just misplaced leave your resume and we'll keep it on file I just need five minutes of your time open wide it won't hurt guys it's a lie when we distort the truth or maybe you make a truthful statement but you say it not think with me on this one maybe you make a truthful statement but you say it in a way that it insinuates something else and again we walk away justified I didn't lie I was truth let me give you an example so I say to you I come in and I say well you know I just saw Curt broad back out in the atrium today and Curt for many of you is our family pastor many of you know him and I just saw Curt out there I spoke to him and I I'm pleased to tell you he was sober today now I didn't lie to you I told you the truth he was sober but what did I do I planted a thought in your head well does that mean he's not sober every day does that mean he was drunk yesterday what are you trying to say to me and so what we then we walk away feeling really good about ourselves about what we just did because I was truthful I wasn't dishonest with you just see how we play these games okay number two you got to keep moving here number two is gossip gossip oftentimes we spread rumors packaged as prayer requests oh my gosh oh goodness sakes we need to pray for Jim I think Jim may be having an affair with this secretary like really do you know that well I don't know I've heard that let's just pray for Jim everybody and we feel so spiritual and we feel so justified and all is doing is trying to to to package our gossip is something that is spiritual and something that is good but I promise you God sees right through our motivation God sees right through our heart we're telling a lie and he hates it in proverbs chapter 16 he says a troublemaker plant seeds of strife gossip separates the best of friends years ago there was a rumor in the newspaper true story there was a rumor in the newspaper that the great American writer Mark Twain had died well Mark Twain responded back to the editor by saying the report of my death has been greatly exaggerated most of us tend to be like the guy who said I just want my friends to know it's not me that starts all of those rumors it's the people I tell them to gossip is not innocent it damages reputations it does damage on our relationships you cannot package this in a way that it's okay it's just not number 3 self-protection number 3 self-protection in the Old Testament Joseph's brothers were so jealous of him they were determined they finally their jealousy rose to a level they'd finally decided to kill him well instead of killing him at the last minute they decided to sell him into slavery so he's gone as a troublemaker and their mind is gone and so what do they do well now they've got to cover their sin and so they're gonna lie and so they take his coat of many colors that his dad had given him they kill an animal they take the blood of the animal put it all over the coat they take the coat home and tell Dad hey Dad sorry but your favorite son was killed by an animal there wasn't anything we could do here's his coat to prove that he died while I lied well they lied to protect themselves against the wrath of their father who would have been outraged if he would have discovered what they've done I'm sure we've all lied as children to keep from getting in trouble or maybe you've lied to your employer because you were afraid you might lose a job you know have you have you ever stood to an employer and you're at that moment and you're your boss or your employer asks you a question and you're it's going through your head and you're thinking you know if I say this he's gonna be happy with me if I say this he's gonna be the truth he's gonna be really disappointed so what's it gonna hurt just a little bit to fudge the truth so that he's happy with me sin has many tools my friends but a lie is the handle that fits them all in Proverbs it says people with integrity walk safely but those who follow crooked path we'll be exposed that's a mouthful okay the next one number four is cheating cheating the cheater lies to get an advantage listen students whenever you cheat on a listen to me please whenever you cheat on a test you are lying not just to your teacher but you are disappointing God salesmen whenever you write down your expenses that you didn't really in Korea but you're disappointing God friends when you falsify your expectations on your tax return you're lying not only to the government but you're disappointing God number five flattery flattery flattery is just another way of lying sometimes I've heard people actually think that flattery is a positive thing that flattery is a good thing it's not flairies not a good thing they tell you what they think they tell you what they think to make you feel good in order to gain something for themselves in other words what they're saying may sound positive it may sound encouraging but they have an ulterior motive they they're trying to manipulate you they're trying to get something for themselves and so they say flattering words to try to convince you to do what it is they want done many do fall for their deception now certainly we need to encourage people I think every one of us need to be encouraged errs we need to all find ways to lift each other up to encourage each other in any way we can but that has but what I'm talking about with flattery has more to do with the deceitful heart this is a person that their agenda is not to encourage you their agenda is to do something for themselves proverbs talks about it when it says a lying tongue hates its victims and flattering words cause ruing flattering words cause right okay the next one number six exaggerating exaggerating the exaggerator overstates the truth to look good the exaggerator overstates the truth to convince you to do something that they want you to do it's like you go to your neighbor we could think of a hundreds of examples but you go to your neighbor and say you know I think you need to know that most of our neighbors are upset with you this most all of our neighbors are upset with you about this when in fact you are the only one you know for certain that's upset so why would you say that you exaggerate it to give it weight you exaggerate exaggerate it to try to give it credibility to try to give you more power friends to exaggerate takes the truth and it turns it into deception so a statement that you're making it may be truthful statement but you overstate it to try to get your way and so you've taken a truth and you've turned it into deception number seven promise breaking promise breaking in Deuteronomy chapter 23 it says when you make a vow to the Lord your God be prompt and fulfilling whatever you promised him for the Lord your God demands against strong language words are so important in Scripture guys don't miss words for the Lord your God demands that you promptly fulfill all your vows God takes a valve very seriously is what it says in several other places it says and so for the Lord your God demands that you promptly fulfil all your vows are you will be guilty of sin God expects you to fulfill your vows we don't think about breaking a promises lie you know it's like well I'm sorry I couldn't help it you know I know I promised this but I couldn't help it in reality whether it's a promise to pay a debt whether it's a promise to take your kids to the park whether it's a promise to be faithful to your mate whether it's a promise to keep a pledge whatever it is we're talking about if you don't follow through it's a lie you can't just ignore that so what am I supposed to do when you recognize you're not gonna be able to follow through you immediately go back to the person and say look I know that I told you that I was gonna do this I'm not gonna be able to do that please forgive me and I need to make it right here's how I'm gonna make it right but you just need to understand I realize I promised it but I didn't expect this to happen I cannot fulfill that promise but I will keep that promise in two days or whatever but so you have to go make it right if you just ignore it you've just basically lied to the person integrity listen integrity is doing what you say you're going to do God says don't bear false witness be people of truth be honest to the core and always do what you say you're going to do God takes your word very very seriously okay so what do we need to do to stop this bad habit of lying well again to get rid of a bad habit the best way I believe to get rid of a bad habit is to replace it with a good habit you probably didn't get here overnight with this bad habit so you're not gonna change it to a good habit overnight so you have to be intentional you have to say okay because here's what we do guys it's like okay I don't want this bad habit I'm not gonna be a liar I'm gonna be a truth teller so I tell the truth once well it didn't work I still went back to the line it you didn't get there overnight you've got to work at this daily determining you're going to change that to a good habit so telling the truth is a good habit lying as a bad habit so let's decide to replace all areas of deception in our life with truth here are six things that you can do to make this transition in your life put these in your notes number one this is admit you have a problem now these there's no order that I'm giving you there's no order to these but I would say this if I was going to give them a specific order intentionally that would be number one this is a big deal this is probably the hardest step to take to admit you have a problem there's where the problem lies that's why you still when a person invites Jesus Christ into their life the Bible says if any man is in Christ he's a new creation old things the passed away all thing becomes new so if you're a believer in a Christian and yet you still have issues with lying or being untruthful then you have ignored to change that Christ wants to make and so somehow you're living in denial somehow you've got your head in the sand and so the hardest thing to do is to admit you have a struggle to admit you have a problem so that's we're sorry if we confess our sins the Bible says if we confess our sins he is faithful and just to forgive us of our sins and cleanse us of all unrighteousness so the first thing he tells us to do is what confess our sins it's the same thing I'm saying to you guys admit you have a problem I think it's the most difficult on that I'm gonna give you Mark Twain once said a man is never more truthful than when he acknowledges himself a liar a man is never more truthful than when he acknowledges himself a liar and yet if I were to call you a liar oh it would anger you those are fightin words you would be very upset with me most would deny it no one wants to be called a liar even though we often justify telling a lie so if you're in the habit of telling an untruth to benefit yourself well guys that's kind of the definition guys then you are a liar you know insult we I hear people say times like well have you ever lied well yeah I've lied on occasion but I'm not a liar well that's kind of the definition of what a liar is and so if you don't like it that you lie then own it if you don't like it that you're telling untruths to family if you don't like it that you've told untruths to your employer if you don't like if they're selling on Troost to friends then decide you're going to do something about it they're gonna deal with it guys if there is any I said this a minute ago if there's any dishonesty in your marriage and you don't deal with it it's gonna crumble the foundation your marriage is built on if you have anything less than honest in your business dealings and you don't deal with it it's going to destroy your business practices but you're never gonna break this bad habit in your life if you don't first admit you have a problem that's where it all starts number two tame the tongue this is probably a bigger deal than we give it credit listen to me our tongue is a significant player in our walk with the Lord and that's why James deals with this and tries to help us to see it he talks about it in the third chapter he says indeed we all make many mistakes so okay I've confessed I've dealt with it I've been honest with myself I recognize I have an issue with lying well we all we all make many mistakes we all make poor choices for if we could control our tongues we would be perfect and the word perfect is literally mature so if we could control our tongues we would be perfect and could also control ourselves in every other way we can make a large horse go wherever we want by means of a small bit in its mouth and a small rudder makes a huge ship turn wherever the pilot chooses to go even though the winds are strong he says just as a man has control over a large animal a horse by this very small bit in his mouth or just as a captain has control over a very large ship when he has control of that very small rudder if a man has control over his tongue he says he will have control over himself listen if you don't have anything truthful to say just don't say anything at all you know when you're trying to break this bad habit of lying or being untruthful sometimes there's a place where you just be quiet you just don't speak up sometimes you say oh but guys I just know if I say this it's gonna help the situation so much if I lie about this and stretch the truth about this is going to help me so much guys I would just encourage you to bite your tongue to a point it bleeds if you have to but just don't speak up you have to learn to control your tongue and friends we need to make a conscious decision that all truths regardless let me do it let me say that again we need to make a conscious decision to tell the truth regardless of the anticipated consequences so again what we do is that we were like I'm looking at my employer and and he's asking me a question or she's asking me a question and I'm thinking my mind is spinning and I'm thinking oh gosh if I tell her the truth I may be in trouble but if I stretch the truth and we don't ever want to say if I lie we never tell ourselves that we're gonna said boy if I lie here they'll work out we always say if I if I just stretch the truth a little bit everything will work out that's what I'm saying we walk and live in denial and so what we have to do again we need to make a conscious decision to tell the truth regardless of the consequences often times when we get in a tight spot or feel the pressure at the moment we base our response on how we think it's going to affect the outcome friends we just need to decide as believers we're going to tell the truth no matter what listen if you want God's best in your life please hear me on this because I believe all of us do if you want God's best in your life honesty is not just the best policy it's the only possible it's the only policy that will honor God and I think that's what Paul said you know a verse we're all familiar with Romans 8:28 we know that in all things God were for the good of those who love Him who have been called according to his purpose it doesn't say that everything in life is gonna work out good it doesn't say that this consequence is going to be good or this one but it does say that if I trust God whatever happens here and whatever happen happens over here God's gonna take all of these things and he's gonna work him out together for my good if I will just trust him I just need to trust him and because I believe that to be absolutely true it becomes my motivation to be honest no matter what the next one number three speak the truth lovingly oh gosh that's the big one speak the truth lovingly while some people can be honest with their response they also are very insensitive to people's feelings the Bible clearly says we're to speak truth in love look at what Paul says in Ephesians chapter four he says instead speaking the truth in love we will grow to become in every respect a mat or body of him who is in the head that is Christ so speaking the truth in love it's like the fourth grade class that sent a card to their teacher who had been out recovering from surgery and so the card read dear mrs. Fisher your fourth grade class wishes you a very speedy recovery by a vote of 15 to 14 the problem with children is not that they're too honest the problem with children they haven't learned to speak truth in love listen at the end of the day at the end of the day people may not remember what you said to them but they'll always remember how you made them feel people may not always remember what you said to them but that'll always remember how you made them feel so the truth should always be delivered in a loving way the next one also hard be accountable to someone now we don't even want to admit it to ourselves we don't even want to be a we don't even want to say we're a liar so we don't want to deal with it ourselves so the idea that I'm gonna tell a friend that I'm gonna ask a friend to hold me accountable that I've got to go to my friend and say I've got a problem with lying I've got a problem with that I'm not always truthful and I need you to hold me accountable that's hard to do but we need to have an accountability partner or a friend that's willing to ask us the tough questions and to hold countable so like you get together maybe once a week and maybe you do this with each other you so like what look I'll if you'll hold me accountable for lying I'll hold you accountable and we'll meet once a week and we'll ask the tough questions have you lied to anyone this week have you spread gossip about anyone this week have you over-exaggerated this week have you cheated in any way this week have you tried to flatter anyone to get your way have you tried to mislead anyone you need that person that's gonna hold you accountable number 5 do damage control do damage control listen friends if you're serious about breaking a habit of line then make yourself a promise and the promise says the next time I don't tell the truth I'm gonna go back to that person I'm gonna make it right now this is this is the discipline this has to be from yourself you've got to be willing to say I refuse to lie and if I do lie to somebody I will go back and I'll make it right to go back and say you know what I told you other day was not the truth I'm sorry for that please forgive me I misled you for my own selfish gain forgive me for that this is really the truth and I'm gonna try to never do that again I hope you can forgive me for that that kind of a commitment has to be something you come what that damage control has to be something you come up with and you commit to and so while it might hurt your pride it'll at least cause you to stop and to think before you tell another lie this is a very short verse that may not normally make sense but when you think of it in this context I think it does how painful are honest words you read that you're like what does that mean how painful honest words well when you have to go back to somebody and say look what I told you was not the truth how painful are honest words it would also be wise to confess it to the Lord after all he knows every lie you've ever told so you saw God please forgive me I told a lie again forgive me I don't want to mislead people I don't want to be that person I want to be a man I want to be a woman of integrity so I want to encourage you to start every day by asking God to give you the strength to always tell the truth you know every day to be able to step out of bed and say God this is the day you have made I will rejoice and be glad at and this day God I pray lord help me to be a person of integrity help me to be a person that's always known as honest and true Paul writes in first Corinthians chapter 10 he says no temptation has overtaken you except what is common to mankind and God is faithful he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear but when you are tempted he will also provide a way out so that you can endure it so there's going to be there's going to be all kinds of temptations in your life to tell them is truth there's going to be all kinds of temptations to lie to a person because the consequences you want that you've got a you've got a set of consequences that you want to happen and so there is a temptation to tell a story or to tell a situation so that this comes out the way you want it to come out number six understand why you felt pressured till I understand why you felt pressured till I ask God to show you what you're afraid of or what you're trying to hide from for example if we're talking about addicts if we're talking about drug drug addicts or sex addicts or alcoholics we're talking about addicts they will lie to try and cover up their addiction wrong addictions and wrong actions almost always I feel like I can say always but let's just almost always lead to lies people lie because they're afraid of not being liked or not getting their way so they will say they'll say what they think people want to hear greed or selfishness often causes people to lie we want something and we want it now we don't want to work for it why study for a test when we can cheat why follow all the rules of business transaction when a little bit of exaggeration when a half-truth will get me the deal quicker it's like I'm here and I want to get the order so if I stretch the truth just a little bit they're probably gonna buy it anyway I mean all kinds of justifications go through our head but we justify stretching the truth just a little bit to get the deal quicker it's often easier and quicker to be dishonest but whatever it is in the end it's always going to bite you in the backside I promise number seven practice integrity even in the small matters in Luke chapter 16 he says whoever can be trusted with very little now see the context of this whoever can be trusted with very little can also be trusted with much whoever is dishonest with very little will also be dishonest with much if we're gonna break this bad habit of lying in our life then we have to be truthful in every area of her life not just the big things but even in the small everyday things there's so many things that are you know we lie to our children we like you know it's like it's a little deal and I wanting to be quiet I want him to stop and so I'm gonna say something they'll make him go away and so we think it's not a big deal it was a small little thing but it all makes a difference decide you're gonna be a person of integrity in every area of your life listen guys regardless of what our culture thinks lying is a serious problem to all of our relationships I said that when I began today I want to in saying that same thing to you again relationships are built on a foundation of trust relationships are built on a foundation of trust and so that's why lying is such a serious issue you've heard if you've been around for any time I've ever spoken on marriage I've often times said to you that the three most important things to a healthy marriage are communication communication communication because it's true communication is obviously the most important thing in a relationship so when you share unhealthy communication it begins to chip away at trust on the other hand if I'm communicating if my spouse and I are talking or even in friendships if we're talking to one another that talking that communicating builds trust it builds a healthy relationship but if it's unhealthy conversation I'm communicating and untruth then what it does it dissolves the trust it breaks down the trust and your relationship will dissolve over time whether it's a friendship again or whether it's a marriage relationship and so we need the foundation of trust for there to be health and of course like any other bad habit it's not easy to stop lying I'm not trying to tell you it is if you've got this habit in your life I'm just saying to you you need to deal with it now because the longer you wait the more it becomes a spiritual stronghold and once it becomes a spiritual stronghold it gets its grip in you and it's very very difficult to get rid of and so you can break this habit and it's certainly worth it pray with me Father thank you for your faithfulness thank you God that you love us more than we could ever imagine or comprehend thank you God that you don't give us things in your word to hurt us you give us instructions in your word because you want us to live life abundantly you want us to be better and so God we recognize that the devil is a liar we recognize that he wants us to be liars as well so forgive us for the lies that we've told and help us to see how we're hurting people that we care the most about help us to see how I'm hurting people I'd love the most and give us God the desire to be the men and women that are trustworthy to be men and women of integrity God thank you that you broke sins hold in her life thank you God that you've given me the power to say no to sin I don't have to be held captive to sin anymore that I can walk away from lying and I can be faithful to speaking truth I can be trustworthy I can't be a person of integrity thanks Lord we love you and we praise you I just ask that you'd go with us as we go into a new week in Jesus name Amen

Channel: Northview Church

Views: 1,059

Rating: 4.5555553 out of 5

Keywords: Northview Church, Northview, Steve Poe, Carmel, Fishers, Westfield, Lafayette, Indy North, Indianapolis

Id: LdMSwJAsDr0

Length: 45min 50sec (2750 seconds)

Published: Mon Jan 13 2020