>> Stephen: NOW, YOU AND I, WE HAVE MET ONCE BEFORE. IT'S THE BATHROOM AT THE
GRAMMYS -- NO, THE EMMYS. >> Stephen: I WAS IN THE
BATHROOM WITH KANYE IN THE GRAMMYS, WITH YOU AT THE EMMYS. A WONDERFUL PLACE TO MEET. >> I WANTED TO BE YOUR FRIEND
AND I WAS FOLLOWING YOU AROUND THE BATHROOM AND I WAS, LIKE,
HEY! I TRIED TO BE YOUR FRIEND AND I
WANTED TO COME IN WITH YOU, STEPHEN, BUT YOU WOULDN'T LET
ME, BUT HERE I AM NOW. TOUCH ME AGAIN. THANK YOU. >> Stephen: DO YOU WORK OUT? I WORK OUT. ONLY THIS ARM, THOUGH. (LAUGHTER)
I'M LIKE ARRRRR! TOUCH MY ARM AND SEE WHAT I DO. >> Stephen: YOU FLEXED?! I DID NOT! >> Stephen: YOU DIDN'T CARE
WHAT THIS FELT LIKE. THAT'S A MAN SECURE IN HIS OWN
MANLINESS. >> YEAH, AND THAT WAS ME
FLEXING. >> Stephen: YOU ARE AN
AMERICAN CITIZEN NOW. >> I AM. I HAVE BEEN FOR SOME TIME. (APPLAUSE)
THAT'S WHY IF TRUMP BECOMES PRESIDENT I'M, LIKE, YOU CAN'T
TOUCH ME, I'M HERE, IT'S COOL. >> Stephen: YOU GOT IN UNDER
THE TRUMP LIMIT, AS WE CALL IT. >> THE SCOTTISH PEOPLE ARE OUT
BUILDING A WALL. >> Stephen: THEY ALREADY HAD
ONE. >> NO, THE ROMANS BUILT THE WALL
TO KEEP THE SCOTTISH PEOPLE OUT. >> Stephen: COULDN'T DO IT. IT'S A LESSON FROM OUR HISTORY. >> YEAH. >> Stephen: ARE YOU MORE
PATRIOTIC THAN REGULAR AMERICANS BECAUSE YOU CHOSE AMERICA. YOU MARRIED INTO THIS FAMILY
KNOWING WHAT YOU WERE GETTING. THE REST OF US WERE BORN HERE. >> TO BE FAIR, FIRST OF ALL,
TRUMP WASN'T RUNNING FOR PRESIDENT WHEN I AM AN AMERICAN
CITIZEN (APPLAUSE)
>> Stephen: THAT'S TRUE. AND I ALSO THINK, YES, A
LITTLE BIT IN THE SENSE THAT YOU'RE CATHOLIC BUT YOU WERE
BORN A CATHOLIC. >> Stephen: I CAN LEAVE
ANYTIME, THOUGH. >> YEAH, BUT YOU KNOW PEOPLE WHO
BECOME CATHOLICS LATER ON IN LIFE --
>> Stephen: THEY PRAY WITH THE ELBOWS OUT. >> THEY'RE A LITTLE MORE JESUS-Y
THAN THE REGULAR CATHOLIC. >> Stephen: BECAUSE THEY
CHOSE. >> CHANGING YOUR NATIONALITY IS
AN ACT OF FAITH, ANY FAITH IS ENHANCED BY HAVING A LITTLE
DOUBT AND CONCERN. WHEN I LOOK AT MY OWN
PATRIOTISM, IT'S STILL FERVENT AND THERE, BUT IT'S A LITTLE
DIFFERENT THAN IT WAS OF THE JULY FOURTH FEELING OF BECOMING
A CITIZEN. NOW IT'S, LIKE, HOW DO BECOME
INVOLVED IN ELECTING THE PRESIDENT AND THAT SORT OF
THING. >> Stephen: DID YOU BECOME A
CITIZEN JULY FOURTH? >> NO. >> Stephen: IT'S LIKE ASKING A
GIRL TO MARRY YOU AT THE TOP OF THE EIFFEL TOWER. >> DID YOU DO THAT? >> Stephen: NO, I'M NOT AS
ROMANTIC AS I COULD BE. >> I'M SURE YOU WIFE SAID OKAY,
ANYWAY. DON'T PROPOSE A WOMAN ON TOP OF
THE EIFFEL TOWER BECAUSE YOU WANT A WOMAN TO SETTLE FOR LESS. >> Stephen: THE BOTTOM OF A
MINE SHAFT. >> THAT'S CORRECT. IT'S GOING TO BE BETTER,
BABY! >> Stephen: WHY "JOIN OR DIE?"
CAN I GET A SHOT OF THAT? >> THAT'S A TATTOO ON MY ARM. BEN FRANKLIN PUT THIS IN A
CARTOON, WE MUST COME TOGETHER, A UNITED CALLING. SO IT BECAME A SYMBOL OF THE
UNITED COLONIES WHICH BECAME THE UNITED STATES AND I THOUGHT IT
WOULD BE NICE TO GET THAT WHEN I BECAME A CITIZEN. I HAVE OTHERS BUT THEY'RE
ELSEWHERE. >> Stephen: DOES THIS DEAL
WITH A PART OF AMERICAN HISTORY. >> I THINK THE FIRST YEARS WERE
TOO CONTEMPORARY. I THINK WE SHOULD GO BACK A
LITTLE FURTHER. RIGHT NOW IT TENDS TO BE IN THE
LAST 50 TO 100 YEARS AND TENDS TO BE AMERICAN HISTORY. THESE ARE SOME OF THE TOPICS --
>> Stephen: THESE ARE SOME OF THE TOPICS COMING UP ON THE NEW
SHOW, CAN I ASK YOU ABOUT THEM? >> YEAH. BUT I'M NOT PUTTING MYSELF OUT
AS A HISTORY BUFF. I'M NOT BUFF LIKE YOU ARE BUFF. >> Stephen: OR IN THE BUFF. WELL... >> Stephen: RATINGS, RATINGS. RATINGS ARE IMPORTANT. >> Stephen: NEVER SAY NEVER. I DON'T KNOW IF ME BEING
NAKED WILL GET ANYBODY WATCH THE HISTORY CHANNEL. >> Stephen: WE'LL GET TO SEE
THE OTHER TATTOO! >> WE WATCHED DYNASTY AND NOW A
NAKED DUDE, YEAH! >> Stephen: WELL, IT'S THE
HISTORY CHANNEL. FOR A LONG TIME IT WAS HITLER
THEN ALIENS. >> THAT'S PART OF OUR HISTORY,
STEPHEN, WHETHER YOU LIKE IT OR NOT, HITLER! >> Stephen: AND ALIENS. WE HAVE COME FROM ANOTHER
PLANET! >> Stephen: YEAH, THAT WAS A
GOOD HITLER ALIEN! THAT WAS SPOOKY! (APPLAUSE)
>> YES, I ONLY WORK OUT ON THIS SIDE --
(GERMAN ACCENT) >> Stephen: MOST OVERRATED
FIGURE IN AMERICAN HISTORY AND WHY? WHO'S THAT? >> AT THE MOMENT, I THINK IT HAS
TO BE KANYE, BUT LATER... (LAUGHTER)
>> Stephen: HE'S IN DEBT. I DON'T BELIEVE IT. I THINK IT'S A PLOY. >> Stephen: REALLY? HOW CAN HE BE IN DEBT? >> Stephen: HAVE YOU SEEN HOW
HE LIVES? IT WAS POSSIBLE. >> HE'S GOT CLOTHING LINES AND,
YOU KNOW, DOESN'T THAT MAKE YOU RICH IF YOU HAVE A CLOTHING
LINE? >> Stephen: I'VE NEVER HAD A
CLOTHING LINE. DO YOU HAVE A CLOTHING LINE? >> I'D LIKE TO PUT ONE TOGETHER. >> Stephen: WE'RE IN THE WRONG
BUSINESS. >> 50-YEAR-OLD SCOTTISH DUDE. I WANT TO LOOK LIKE THAT GUY! >> Stephen: DO YOU REMEMBER
THE THINGS YOU HAD TO LEARN FOR YOUR AMERICAN -- FOR YOUR
CITIZENSHIP TEST? >> NO, I DID IT WHEN IT WAS
EASIER. THEY CHANGED THE TEST AND MADE
IT HARDER. WHEN I DID IT, IT'S LIKE, DO YOU
HATE AL QUAIDA? YOU'RE IN! >> Stephen: THAT WAS IT? YEAH. >> Stephen: ARE YOU STILL
SCOTTISH? DO YOU HAVE DUAL CITIZENSHIP? >> YES, YOU CAN HAVE IT REMOVED. YOUR PEOPLE ARE ORIGINALLY FROM
FRANCE, I WOULD IMAGINE. >> Stephen: NO, MINE ARE FROM
IRELAND. IT'S SORT OF FAKE FRENCH, BUT
I'M FROM IRELAND. >> YOU CHANGED YOUR NAME TO
FRENCHJT >> Stephen: IT'S COLE-BERT,
BUT I'M PRETENTIOUS. >> HE SAID SOMETHING SO
DEPRECATING AND YOU WENT, YEA! YOU GUYS ARE JERKS! >> Stephen: WHAT'S YOUR
QUESTION? >> I WAS THINKING ABOUT TRUMP
BECAUSE I THOUGHT IT MIGHT COME UP IN MY DISCUSSIONS. YOU KNOW HIS MOTHER WAS
SCOTTISH. >> Stephen: I HEARD THAT,
YEAH. >> WELL, THAT'S THE (BLEEP)
PROBLEM RIGHT THERE! CAN I SAY THAT ON CBS NOW? (CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)
>> Stephen: OH, YEAH! YOU CAN SAY (BLEEP) ALL YOU WANT
ON CBS NOW! YEAH! THAT'S ONE OF THE BIGGEST
CHANGES. THEY LOVE IT! THEY LOVE IT! >> IF I HAD KNOWN THAT I WOULD
HAVE (BLEEP) STAYED! (LAUGHTER)
BUT HIS MOTHER IS SCOTTISH AND YOU'RE LOOKING AT A MAN WHOSE
MOTHER IS SCOTTISH AND NOT ENOUGH THERAPY. >> Stephen: WHO TEES THE
GREATEST SCOT? >> SEAN CONNERY, WITHOUT A
DOUBT. >> Stephen: ARE YOU GUYS FROM
THE SAME AREA. >> NO, IT'S A EAST COAST-WEST
COAST THING. IT'S A BIGGIE TUPAC. >> Stephen: DO YOU HAVE A
BEEF? >> NO, HE'S 84 YEARS OLD AND CAN
STILL KICK MY ASS. >> Stephen: "JOIN OR DIE WITH
CRAIG FERGUSON" PREMIERES FEBRUARY 18TH AT
11:00 PM ON THE HISTORY CHANNEL. WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK.
Now I'm just sad. Goddamn I miss that guy. And Geoff. Oh god : (
Craig just seems so effortlessly personable. It was why he was my favorite of the network late night hosts. His interviews were always off the cuff but it didn't matter who he was talking to it would always be really interesting and funny. And also real.
Ugh, every few months there's a Craig Ferguson thread on the home page... and I get sad knowing he isn't in Late Night.
He was my favorite Late Night talk show host. Late Late was just amazing. He'd always joke about how the show had a joke of a budget which is why he didnt' have a band.
All of the antics on Late Late were hilarious. Angela Lansbury or Paul McCartney, Geoff, Geoff making gay jokes about himself, Secretariat. Secretariat on cocaine. Quiet moment, Serious moment. Tonight's joke for senior citizens. Craig flirting awkwardly with the female guests. Calling Michael a racist. The bleeped expletives with flags of other countries covering his mouth: "Croakie!" "Aye carumba!" "Ooo Lala!". Tweet mail time!. Craig going off a tangent for 10 minutes and never actually reading any tweetmail and throwing the papers away. Him skipping tweetmail. Him flashing the paper on the screen so you never actually see it. Pictures of animals supposed to be humans. Jay Leno fly. Fallon Fly. His mexican band behind the curtain. Cold openings. Him just ripping the script cards up during interviews.
It was just an amazing hour of television. Plus the theme opening! Tomorrow's just a futureeee yestaaaaday!!!
As an insomniac, I really miss Craig Ferguson. Late night sucks without him. And I miss the puppets.
[removed]
Ferguson really seemed to be able to bring the "Old Colbert" back out of him.
Careful, Icarus
WE CAN ALWAYS SLEEP THROUGH WORK TOMORROW
Ferguson was honestly the best late night host. Though I'm sad we didn't get to see Craig host late night, Stephen Colbert is doing a really great job
I miss TLLS so much... balls.