Core Beliefs, Rules and Assumptions in CBT

in cognitive behavioral therapy we usually focus on our current thoughts and behaviors and the relationship between these thoughts and behaviors and our moods and how we're feeling but where do these thoughts and behaviors come from why do you and i have different thoughts about the same situations and why do you and i act differently under similar circumstances one of the main reasons is that we have different sets of core beliefs core beliefs are our deeply held underlying beliefs about ourselves the world we live in and other people that influence how we interpret our experiences and as a result affect how we think and act and engage with others core beliefs are the tinted glasses through which we view things each of us with a slightly or in some cases vastly different shade of tint now the basic aim of cbt is to learn to change the way we think and act in order to change the way we feel core beliefs are important because they determine how we think and act so if we can change our core beliefs changes in how we think and act will naturally follow which will in turn help change the way we feel now not all core beliefs are negative but for now we're going to just look at negative core beliefs because these are the ones that we want to be able to change in order to help us feel better about ourselves negative core beliefs about ourselves are grouped into three categories helpless core beliefs are things such as i am weak i am out of control i'm a failure i am not good enough i'm a loser unlovable core beliefs are things like i am unlovable or unlikable i'm unwanted i'm unattractive i'm different from other people i'm bound to be alone and worthless core beliefs are things such as i am worthless i'm bad i'm a waste i'm toxic negative core beliefs about the world are things such as the world is dangerous the world isn't fair life's too hard things are stacked against me the future is hopeless and negative core beliefs about other people are things like the people i love will always end up leaving me you can't count on other people people will always let you down people only care about themselves it's not safe to trust other people others are out to get me now you can probably see how holding these sorts of beliefs could affect how we think and act and interact with other people but in between our core beliefs and our thoughts and behaviors there's another level called rules and assumptions which are also known as intermediate beliefs because they fall in between our core beliefs and our thoughts and behavior we can imagine the relationship between core beliefs rules and assumptions and thoughts and behavior as if our minds were a tree core beliefs are the roots that anchor us and deliver water and nutrients through the trunks and branches which are like rules and assumptions up into the leaves that are our thoughts and behavior so stemming from our core beliefs we make rules for ourselves which are stated in terms of i should or i must and then we make assumptions which are if then statements based on our core beliefs so for example if we have the core belief the world is scary we might have rules such as i must always keep myself safe i shouldn't take any risks and assumptions such as if i'm not careful enough then something bad is gonna happen to me if i let down my guard then i'm gonna get hurt if i don't take any risks then i'll stay safe these rules and assumptions influence our behavior we act in ways that avoid violating our rules or to avoid the negative consequences or achieve the positive consequences of an if-then assumption so in this example we might behave in ways that allow us to avoid anything we perceive as scary or that provokes any anxiety and these rules and assumptions influence our thoughts in this case they might lead us to worry a lot and always ask ourselves what if this happens what if that happens what if what if what if other examples of rules could be things like i must do everything right i should try to make everyone happy i shouldn't show any weakness i should always be prepared for the worst i must always be the best i must take care of everyone and other assumptions could be things like if i don't try to make friends then i won't get rejected if i'm always nice to everyone then people will like me if my relationship ends then i'll be alone forever if i commit to something then i'm going to let people down if they cared about me then they'd ask how i was doing if i confide in someone then they'll use it against me if i don't try then i won't be disappointed so that's a basic outline of core beliefs and rules and assumptions so now let's look at how we can try to figure out what some of our core beliefs and rules and assumptions are our core beliefs aren't as accessible to us as our thoughts and behavior are if we want to know what we're thinking we can ask ourselves what's going through my mind right now and no matter what we're doing we're usually able to take a step back and notice how we're behaving in the moment but if i ask you what are your core beliefs what rules do you live by and what assumptions do you make about yourself the world and others then you probably don't have an answer for me right away and may not even know where to start looking there are a number of ways that we can try to reveal our core beliefs and rules and assumptions the simplest is to just ask ourselves what do i believe about myself about the world and about other people so just take a moment now and see if anything comes to mind to complete the statements i am the world is and other people are and i'll link to a worksheet in the description and pin comment where you can complete this exercise along with other ones we'll be doing throughout the remainder of this video on your own time if you like and then you can do the same thing with rules and start with these prompts and try to fill in the blanks i should i should not i must i must not and now for assumptions start with if or if i or if someone then and sometimes we can figure out some of our core beliefs by just looking back through our lives at the lessons we've learned growing up our core beliefs develop over time beginning in childhood with lessons we learned from our parents either explicitly through things they taught us or implicitly through things we learned through observation as well as through things we've learned from our interactions with other people in our lives who are important to us like siblings other relatives teachers role models and friends and peers so one way to uncover core beliefs is to simply ask yourself what did i learn from these people about myself about the world and about other people did i form any rules or assumptions based on what i learned from them core beliefs also develop as a result of experiences we have as children so think about your formative early life experiences and ask yourself what did i learn from these experiences about myself about the world and about other people and did i form any rules or assumptions based on these experiences and then you can look at people who've been influential in your life and significant experiences you've had since childhood and ask yourself the same questions about these another way we can discover our core beliefs is to start at the top with our thoughts and work our way down now it's possible to have a thought that sounds like a core belief that's actually just a fleeting thought that doesn't go much deeper for example if something goes wrong and you say to yourself i'm such a loser but you hardly ever say that to yourself that's not necessarily a core belief but if you're consistently telling yourself i'm such a loser a few times a day then chances are that is a core belief so any thought that starts i am or the world is or life is or people are could be a core belief or it could just be a specific thought you're having in that moment in response to something and it doesn't go any deeper than that but if it's something you're telling yourself all the time it probably is a core belief and the same is true for thoughts about rules that start with things like i should or i must or thoughts that include if-then assumptions sometimes they're just thoughts that we're having on the surface but if we're having these thoughts frequently then that's probably because they are a rule or assumption that we tend to live by but the other way we can uncover our core beliefs from our thoughts is to use what's called the downward arrow technique where we take an automatic thought that we've had in response to a situation and ask ourselves if this is true what does this thought say or mean about me or about the world and how it works or about other people so for example a friend doesn't text us back and we have the thought i must have said something to upset them so then we ask ourselves if this thought is true what does this say or mean about me or about the world and how it works or about other people they probably don't like me and if this is true what does this say or mean about me i don't know how to talk to people and if this is true what does this say or mean about me i'll never have any friends and if this is true what does this say or mean about me i'm unlikable and if this is true what does this say or mean about me and if the answer is well it means i'm unlikable then we've reached the end and come up with our core belief i'm unlikable that's responsible for the thought i must have said something to upset them and with a different set of core beliefs we might have had a different thought in this situation so with the core belief like people are selfish you might have had the thought what's wrong with them why haven't they responded yet or with a core belief like the world's a dangerous place then you might have had the thought something must have happened to them i hope they're okay or with a core belief like i'm likable or other people are considerate those might lead to a thought like oh i guess they're probably just busy or for a more complicated example let's look at a situation that involves more than one core belief i'm planning to go to a party by myself and i start worrying what if i don't know anyone what if i get there and don't talk to anyone what if i embarrass myself what if i get so anxious i have a panic attack so then i ask myself what does this say or mean about me or about the world and how it works or about other people you can never know what to expect and what does this say or mean about the world and how it works bad things can happen at any moment and what does this say or mean about the world and how it works the world is scary so here we've come up with a core belief about the world but if we keep going maybe there's more what does this say about me or the world or other people if i don't take risks then i won't get hurt and here we've discovered an if-then assumption that we live by and what does this say about me the world or other people i must keep myself safe and so here we've discovered a rule that we live by and what does this say about me or the world or other people i'm weak we can also uncover core beliefs and especially rules and assumptions from looking at our behavior rules and assumptions guide our behavior i should or i must statements are telling us how to behave and if then statements are assumptions about what will happen if we behave in certain ways so going back to our last example maybe my behavior is i get to the party turn around and go home so what does this behavior suggest about rules or assumptions i have about myself the world or other people or more simply put why am i acting this way so i might have rules like i must keep myself safe i must avoid anxiety at any cost or assumptions like if i'm around people i don't know then i'll be too uncomfortable or if i avoid social situations then i'll keep myself safe now we have a number of tools to help us uncover our core beliefs rules and assumptions and you can work your way through all of them in the worksheet i link to in the description and pin comment but now how do we change our core beliefs and rules and assumptions in order to change the way we think and act and as a result improve our moods and help ourselves feel better well please subscribe to my channel so you don't miss that video when it comes out and please hit the like button and for more information on cbt please check out my video on the abcs of cbt and my playlist with all of my cbt videos

Channel: Self-Help Toons

Views: 136,769

Keywords: core beliefs, rules and assumptions, rules & assumptions, downward arrow technique

Id: Yw1p9YlZKEU

Length: 14min 40sec (880 seconds)

Published: Mon Feb 08 2021