Isn’t it the case we should always stay
true to ourselves? Which means that we ought to know who we are,
and organize our lives in ways that are compatible with our personalities? When we look for a partner, for example, we
look for someone that we’re compatible with, and in regards to education and work, we need
to do something that fits our characteristics. However, "not knowing who we are" seems to
be a problem. But luckily, this problem can be solved by
taking a personality test, by talking to a counselor, or perhaps by going on a long solo-trip
around the world to (quote on quote) “find ourselves”. Because, after all, our true selves lie somewhere
hidden deep within. Right? Well, according to Michael Puett, Harvard
professor of Chinese History and author of the book The Path, this way of thinking is
extremely limited and even dangerous when it comes to how we live our lives. In Chinese philosophy, there’s no fixed
‘self’ the way we see it in the Western world. Who we are, and what we could become is much
more tangible, than a fixed set of characteristics that define a personality. This Eastern ‘self’ is always evolving,
changing, losing, and gaining, and isn’t so much defined by what’s within, but by
what we do. So, it cannot be found, but it can be cultivated. Self-cultivation is a psychological process
that’s part of the ancient Chinese system of thought called Confucianism. Its founder, Confucius, firmly believed in
the power of ritual, and how it can make our lives better. The word ‘ritual’ may sound a little bit
old-fashioned, and intended for either religious people or those who are indoctrinated by some
kind of ideology. But the power of ritual is vastly underestimated. Confucius realized that rituals and ceremonies
are actually forms of social cement. Their transformative nature not only shapes
societies; it also shapes ourselves. Therefore, engaging in certain behaviors in
a disciplined manner - simple things like morning rituals, habits, exercises - can bring
about incredible change, way beyond our limiting beliefs that unfortunately dictate the lives
of many. This video explores the art of becoming better,
based on the teachings of Confucius. Confucius was a philosopher and politician
in ancient China, born in the 6th century BC in the vassal state of Lu. Because of his dissatisfaction with the ruling
aristocrats, he created a way of life and governance that later became known as Confucianism. The Confucian teachings which would later
determine the lives of millions of people, and are still more than relevant in modern-day
China. Confucius emphasized morality, order, and
respect, and is geared toward social harmony, which can be achieved through traditions,
ceremonies, and, of course, rituals. Here, we see a fundamental difference between
Confucianism and its counterpart Taoism. Taoist sage Zhuangzi, for example, pleaded
against these artificial ways of living, that will only disturb the natural course of things. A Taoist embraces our natural state and approaches
life conformable to the flow of nature, with minimal interference. A Confucianist, however, acknowledges our
inborn natural state, but sees us, humans, as diamonds in the rough; as agents of great
potential. Because through practice and training, we
can become better, more skilled at life, more integrated, more virtuous. Self-cultivation is about enhancing and perfecting
how we act, and relate to each other, which can bring about tremendous positive change
on a personal as well as a communal level. So, how does this self-cultivation work? To understand this, we first need to understand
the ‘self’. With the help of personality tests, counselors,
and self-help books we seem to have totally figured out ‘who we are’. Some people even fetishize their newly-found
personality type as they fully identify themselves with it, to a point that they cling to it. Unfortunately, this enchains them to a very
limited view of who they are. Michael Puett is very clear about one aspect
of modern Western civilization. He stated that the way we think about the
self is wrong. As opposed to existing beliefs, the Chinese
view the self as a fragmented non-fixed phenomenon. It’s not something we can find if we go
within. Instead, Puett describes the self as a mess. Thus, we’re all a bunch of messes, meaning,
that what we perceive as the ‘self’ is a gathering of decentralized manifestations
like emotions, thoughts, and many other sensations. We could compare it to a Buddhist concept
called anatta, which means “no self”. Being a mess may seem like a bad thing, but
it’s actually very liberating. Usually, people believe that who they are
is, more or less, unchangeable. “This is just who I am,” one could say
when reflecting on the fact that he or she is easily angry. Having a short fuse, in this case, is seen
as part of a personality or, in some cases, as part of culture. But this view is very limited. It’s even potentially dangerous to believe
that certain behavioral patterns cannot be changed, as we keep finding ourselves in the
same destructive situations over and over again, like abusive relationships, substance
abuse, or criminal activities that land us in prison. Why? Because we believe that we can’t change
things for the better. In the age of individualism, we might think
that we’re free because we refuse to follow conventions, distance ourselves from collectivism,
and don’t engage in these ridiculous old-fashioned ritual practices. No, we’re liberated. We’re free to be our authentic selves. But the danger of taking such a stance is
that we become rigid in regards to who we are. We might find ourselves becoming eccentric
to such a degree that the world becomes alien, and even hostile to us, and vice versa. And we might forget that, for a great part,
this condition is a choice - not a condemnation. What we think we are is always changing, evolving,
reacting to outside circumstances. This makes us far more malleable than we think. Self-cultivation is the art of using this
malleability to our advantage, so we stop focusing on who we are, but instead, on what
we can become. Now, how does this work? Self-cultivation can be used to enhance and
perfect ourselves in ways that improve the quality of life. In Confucianism, we basically ought to cultivate
ourselves into better people in regard to virtue. But the essence of ‘cultivation’ can work
in any direction, meaning that we can also cultivate bad habits. But let’s assume that we all have the same
goal: a state of flourishing. In that case, context is important. It requires a sensitivity for which behaviors
optimally fit certain circumstances. Eventually, we might find out that our current
behavior is getting us nowhere. So, we decide to change it. We decide to become better. But how? Well, it’s essential to realize that we’re
basically a bundle of patterns. Oftentimes, we aren’t even aware of these
patterns and how they keep us from looking beyond our possibilities. As Puett stated: “Our habits limit what
we can see, access, sense, and know.” So it’s almost impossible to change unless
we apply the cure... ritual. Now, what characterizes rituals is that we
momentarily break with the mundane, or, with our “normal” state. We experience an immediate interruption of
our existing patterns and adopt new ones, even if it’s just for a brief moment. However, as Confucius realized, engaging in
these rituals periodically will result in long term changes over time. Let’s take a look at the Remembrance of
the Dead, for example, which is a Dutch ritual held annually on the 4th of May. The goal of this ritual is to commemorate
all civilians and members of the armed forces of the Kingdom of the Netherlands, who’ve
died in wars or peacekeeping missions since the beginning of the Second World War. During this civil ritual, not only Dam Square
in Amsterdam, but also Dutch living rooms, public spaces, cars, restaurants, shops, and
work environments transform into momentary ritual spaces. The heart of the ceremony is two minutes of
silence, which is then followed by the national anthem. For participants, this ritual breaks with
their everyday lives. By taking part in it, we temporarily let go
of our usual behavior and take on a role: that of a Dutch citizen, who’s deeply connected
with a collective past, and to Dutch identity with all its values and beliefs, like liberty
and tolerance. Now, this is where the magic happens: according
to annual research this ritual as a whole, and the emotions and thoughts that are involved,
evokes feelings of solidarity and connectedness. It basically helps to keep the Dutch, Dutch. So, for a community, ritual not only functions
as social cement; it also changes its members psychologically. Confucius realized this more than 2,500 years
ago. Hence, his teachings emphasize the importance
of ritual. But how can we use this mechanism to better
ourselves; especially when we don’t live in a ritualistic community? When Confucius entered the Grand Temple, he
asked about everything. Someone said, “Who said Confucius is a master
of ritual? He enters the Grand Temple and asks about
everything!” Confucius, hearing this, said, “This is
the ritual.” End quote. In an individualistic society, existing conventions
can be ritualized. Drinking our morning tea, or having a short
chat with the cashier of our local supermarket every Saturday morning can be rituals. For self-cultivation, we need rituals that
are transformative, meaning that they break existing patterns, again and again, which
brings about gradual change. Let’s say, you’re considered a negative,
cynical person. If you’d engage in any conversation, you’ll
most likely come across as ‘bitter’. Chances are that people don’t like to converse
with you for that reason, which leads to loneliness and resentment. Now, you could say stubbornly: “Well, this
is who I am. I’m authentic. People should accept me for who I am.” However, the issue with this attitude is that,
according to the Chinese view, this is not who you inherently are. You can change by breaking these patterns
through self-cultivation. This means that you need to perform rituals
that create what Puett calls “as if” moments, in which we purposefully act differently. This is also known as “fake-it-till-you-make-it”. Instead of being authentically miserable,
we could repeatedly and consequently be inauthentically joyful. Over time, we’ll discover that being joyous
becomes a characteristic. The same goes for talking to people we find
attractive. We may identify as ‘shy’, but when we
decide to act confidently - as if we are, temporarily, ‘a different person’ - this
behavior will eventually become habitual. So, isn’t that liberating? Instead of being enchained to a certain personality,
we are able to change ourselves by changing our behaviors. Fears can be overcome, a-holes can become
pleasant and kind, and destructive relationships can turn into flourishing beacons of joy. Of course, self-cultivation takes work. Life is like playing a musical instrument;
if we keep practicing, we become better at it. But if we stop, our skill will deteriorate. So we need to continually finetune and change
our patterns for the better. So, at the end of the day, what self-cultivation
comes down to is this: be the change that you want to see. In this case: in yourself. Thank you for watching.
