Conan Travels - "Conan Interrogates Pierre Bernard" - 3/13/07

look I'm doing max I'm growing these choppers nice and long choppers there looking good yeah nice long have to come on to me but yeah I think I should grow all the way down what I want to do is go all the way down and then have them come underneath my chin you know that thing when they come all the way you don't wanna get too close there's HD at home and people get scared I'm so pale I'd blow out the TV Center it's Casper I want to grow these all the way down and then I want it to go underneath and then I want it to come back up around and make new eyebrows I swear to god that's a great idea or a stupid idea I haven't got the time to figure out what excellent show tonight we have so much to do we can't really waste too much time but I did want to take a minute tonight to talk about something I want to talk about one of our staff members here at late-night you may know him if you've watched the show before this guy has become somewhat of a fixture on the late-night program I'm talking about one of our shows graphic artists Pierre Bernard there's a picture that is real applause for Pierre wasn't it right it's real natural applause for Pierre uh not motivated by any sign we don't have a sign why would we need a sign the shows amusing all on its own how am i doing anywhere Pierre Bernard he's best known for his popular long-running segment on the show Pierre Bernards recliner of rage and for his obsession with the sci-fi adventure show Stargate sg-1 so he's been on the show many times well this is a true honest-to-god true story I swear to you a few weeks ago we got the idea to shoot a remote segment at Pierre's house because he keeps a world-class collection of action figures and collectibles in his home and we this idea that we wanted to go there and I swear all we wanted to do was visit Pierre at his home and shoot some video and for the first time in history Pierre said no that's right he said absolutely not no one gets inside my house that's what he said I tell you folks his reaction sent a chill up my spine something just didn't feel right I got it was felt weird so I decided I had to sit down and talk with Pierre to find out what was really going on so what you're about to see is completely unscripted and unrehearsed this is what I did I called Pierre in his office and I told him I wanted to speak to him Pierre had no idea what I was going to ask him or even why I wanted to talk to him he had no idea that we had cameras there and he walked in the room I said please have a seat and this is what happened folks if you have children in the room you might want to ask them to leave if they're up now you're bad parents anyway so keep around here now is an unflinching look at the real Pierre Bernard how long have you worked at late night 15 years 15 years you've worked for the show yes in that time you've appeared on camera countless times yes you have worn silly costumes there's hardly anything you've ever refused yeah I've even worn a diaper about a month ago our writers came up with a very funny remote because you often talk about your collectibles right I'm going to your house and having you show us your collectibles and your collections and show us around your house everyone thought this was a fantastic idea we were very excited we approached you with the idea and you said no you've won a diaper you want to dress you've done everything and suddenly you were saying no you said no no cameras allowed inside my right I begged you as a friend and as your employer please let me come and shoot remote in your house and I said clearly no he said no there could be only one explanation Pierre Bernard is a serial killer he lived in Brooklyn for how many years 30 years 30 years but you moved away from the city correct why I needed peace and quiet quieter quieter further noise you make in your house would be heard by others is that fair to say yeah it's safe to say you're my neighbors have complained they claim they heard noise your neighbors claim they heard an unusual noise coming from your house would it be here like a vibration vibration like an electric saw being operated oh maybe a bass do you play the bass No is it true that you enjoy drawing erotic portraits of women yeah you enjoy drawing women with large breasts don't you yes you enjoy drawing breasts yes small breasts anger you three how did you feel when Jeffrey Dahmer passed away I felt indifference because I knew eventually there will be another insane person to replace him I've never been more alive than when I'm killing you said that three years ago in a job interview what job interview a hell this is the perfect option with that's the part that was a made-up quote the air I just made up that quote to test you right never been more alive than when I'm killing you set in a job interview and you took exception to the fact that it was a job interview right cuz I have an interview for a job since I've been here care to take exception to the fact that I called you a killer a murderer I'd like you to hold this for me just hold it alright today just pee I'm very paranoid you seem very comfortable holding that you new to grip grip it right Wow at the bar well where would I have gripped it just look familiar to you I forgot the the medical name but it's the bone that connects the thigh to the knee do you mind if I take this back no please she deserves a burial close your eyes please take a second okay put your glasses back on would it be okay if I came to your house went to the basement and tore up the floor with jackhammers this we haven't put anything you just say I'm clear Bernard and I'm one of the greatest most prolific serial killers of the 21st century did you say that for me i'm pierre bernard and i'm one of the greatest fantastic serial killer of the 20th century that's funny you changed prolific to fantastic why because i haven't been killing for a long time julie fool toi totally killing for a long time no one killing for a long time murderer you want to kill me don't you look chop off my fat laughing irish head stuff it with sour cream would you like this interview to end no uh if you'd like the interview to end just say I want this to be over now and unclip your mic and walk out no you could ask all the questions you want I have a feeling if I get up and go get up now and walk out or you're fired what I guess he ran he bolted the interview chilly ladies and gentlemen here he is Pierre Bernard we take a break when we come back Chris Rock is here sit around

Channel: Inflatable Conan

Views: 494,234

Rating: 4.9225106 out of 5

Keywords: Conan, O'Brien

Id: 5_YDoHo57lY

Length: 9min 37sec (577 seconds)

Published: Fri Mar 06 2015

Reddit Comments

[u/wevikd]

Conan has the best white man dance

[u/jackhugs]

Pierre Bernard is the shit. The recliner of rage about mallomars is life.