Good morning and welcome. Thank you for being here. A few moments before we get started,
we were having some technical problems and I noticed the irony of I'm about to speak
on how to speak up without freaking out, and here I was freaking out
that this thing wouldn't work. We'll get through this together. So, my goal today is to
get us from there to here. How do we feel more comfortable and
natural when speaking? So, today what I'd like to talk
about is how we can really focus on enhancing our
credibility when we present and how we can manage the anxiety
that goes along with presenting. And it's early in the morning. Some of you might not have
had all of your coffee. So, I'm going to get you up and
doing some things as well. So, if you're comfortable,
I'm going to ask you to join me at certain parts this morning of
participating in this activity. You don't have to if you don't want to,
but it should be fun. And I believe the best
way to learn is by doing. So, we'll focus in doing that as well. So, let me start with a question. This class is without quizzes, but
I'm going to give you a quiz anyway. What happens in thirty-seven seconds? The average american takes thirty-seven
seconds to brush his or her teeth. My eight year old son can tie both
shoes in thirty-seven seconds, he's very proud of himself. But for the purposes of what we're
talking about today, thirty-seven seconds is how long it takes your
audience to form an impression of you. That's not very long. it's even shorter if they're only paying
attention to your nonverbal behavior. It takes about half a minute for us to pay
attention to what the person is saying to truly understand if we want to pay
attention to them more or not. If we're going to like
what they're saying, etc. So that impression happens very quickly. All the research tells
us that within that half minute window is also when most of
us are most anxious about speaking. So we've got a really tough task. While we're most nervous, that's when you all are forming
the impression of me as a speaker. So we need to figure out how to
do that and how to manage it. And for me,
it all boils down to credibility. Credibility is the only
currency you have as a speaker. So we need to learn how to establish
our credibility without causing damage to our audience, in terms of if
they're going to follow us or not, or hurting our message that
we're trying to get across. So credibility is key, and
when I talk about credibility, what I'm talking about is our
believability and our trustworthiness. And that's really all
you have as a speaker. If your audience doesn't believe you, they don't trust you, it doesn't
matter how powerful your message is. So there are two types of credibility. There's what I call resume credibility, that's where you just tell
people about yourself. And then there's the authentic
credibility that you show. And that show is what you do when you
present, it's the stories you tell, and it's really about that authenticity
that I want to discuss today. And we need to make sure that we feel
confident and comfortable in order for us to be authentic when we present. So I want to introduce you to an equation, which is highly ironic because
math was never my forte. But I want to introduce you to
a credibility equation, and today we're going to talk about the three key
components that go into that credibility. First, it's your knowledge. Not just your knowledge of
the topic you're discussing, but it's also the knowledge of your audience. Second, it's your confidence, and that
confidence comes from managed anxiety. And its also connection, its the
connection that you have to your audience. So were going to talk about
each of those three in turn. The first set of this, I use examples of
apples, not Apple computers, but apples, so we'll get to that right away. There are really two types of
knowledge that you have as a speaker. There's the knowledge of your topic,
that's your domain expertise. Does anybody know what
an expert in apples is called? And I'm not talking about genius
bar at the back of the apple store. A palmologist is an expert in apples. And if I am an expert in apples and I'm up here to deliver a lecture on the
importance of apples and the variety of apples, I need to understand what my
audience brings to that lecture as well. So my audience knowledge, when I talk
about apples might be thinking about something very different
than I'm thinking about. So as a speaker, I have to manage my domain expertise as
well as my knowledge of the audience. And that's where it all starts. I have a very strong bias. As a speaker my job is to be
in service of my audience. Most communicators when
they start communicating, start by saying here's what I
need to say for my audience. And I think the more proper approach
is to say what does my audience need to hear from me? It sounds like verbal Ju Jitsu where
I'm just moving words around, but it is fundamentally different. If I take my audiences needs first,
then it changes what I say and how I approach them, so we have to really
understand our audiences knowledge. And if we do this, this allows us
to avoid the curse of knowledge. The curse of knowledge is
where we make assumptions, we go too quickly over certain
foundational information, we use jargon, we use acronyms,
we don't appreciate the audience's need. So we must avoid the curse of knowledge. We have to really reflect and say what is it my audience needs at this
moment to better understand my concept? And I want to give you some examples
of where this has gone wrong. There's a durable goods company out
of Northern Europe called Electrolux. Has anybody heard of Electrolux before? Okay, they sell washing machines,
refrigerators, and they also sell vacuum cleaners. And many years ago they
ran this ad campaign. >> [LAUGH]
>> Nothing sucks like an Electrolux. And here they're trying to demonstrate
that the power of this vacuum cleaner was so powerful that it pulled
the Leaning Tower of Pisa askew. [LAUGH]
>> It turns out though that people in North America don't like
to buy things that suck. >> [LAUGH]
>> So this was a miserable advertising campaign. It didn't work well, because they
didn't appreciate the audience and what the audience thinks. This isn't just in marketing,
in terms of goods and services. In the literature world as
well there was a big issue. John Steinbeck, wonderful author. Grew up pretty close to here. When his book the grapes of wrath was
translated for the Japanese market, they mistranslated it and
the book didn't sell at all. Rather than the grapes of wrath,
it was sold as angry raisins, [LAUGH] and nobody bought the book. Again, getting the right
message to the right audience Is what you need to do as
an effective communicator. I want to give you an example
of when this worked well. Are any of you from Texas? A couple of you, excellent,
so validate what I'm saying. How many of you have visited Texas? Excellent, so you'll know
the punchline of this story shortly. I borrowed this story from a wonderful
book called Made to Stick. Made to Stick is written by Dan and
Chip Heath. Chip teaches with me at
the business school, and Dan runs a nonprofit in the city. Wonderful book if you're interested
in learning to communicate better. And in the book they tell the story
of Texas in the mid 1980s. They had a tremendous
littering problem in Texas. Litter everywhere. And it was costing a lot of money, and
it was hurting the pride of the state. So they invested in this ad campaign. Some of us are old enough to
remember this in this room. Remember the name of this guy? Woodsy the Owl, that's right. Give a hoot, don't pollute. He and Smoky the Bear came out around the
same time, but Smoky clearly dominated. So give a hoot, don't pollute. They invested in this
public service campaign. They ran ads on television and radio,
this is way before the internet. And something amazing happened. Texans didn't like Woodsy. >> [LAUGH]
>> They in fact saw an increase in littering after this ad campaign was run. So this frustrated those in government. So they hired a bunch of academics. They said help us fix this problem. It's costing money. It's hurting our pride. Our reputation is at stake. So these academics came in and the very first thing they did was
looked at who was doing the littering. Ladies, this is not gonna surprise you. Mostly men, and not just any men,
it was men between the ages of 18 and 34. And further they wanted to
know what about these men? What makes them tick? And if you've been to Texas,
or you're from Texas, you know that people take great pride
in being from the state of Texas. Being Texan is very important to them. And based on that, they created
the message that all of us have seen if we've visited Texas,
the Don't Mess With Texas campaign. Within two years they've reduced
littering in the state of Texas by 80%. Getting the right message to the right
people can have a dramatic effect, but you only do that by reflecting on who
your audience is and what their needs are. So we need to do that in
all of our communication. If we do this,
it helps us focus our message. One of the things we learn, and
I borrow this advice from my mother, although I'm sure she did not create it. When you understand your audience,
you will focus on their needs and therefore you'll give them what they need. You'll tell them the time,
rather than build the clock. Most of us,
when we communicate our message, we build the message to try to
explain to people how we got there. Often it is better to
explain where you arrived and then, if important,
explain how you got there. So tell the time first,
then build the clock. That helps our audience. That helps get them rooted. It helps set their expectations. Further, when you're explaining something,
explain the benefits to the audience. What is it that the audience
gets from your point? How do they benefit? Rather than just talk about
the different features or points. Focus on what your audience gains. There's a very important
question you must answer for any audience immediately when you speak. So what? What's in it for your audience? What value do they derive? So we focus on benefits and
we tell the time. Are there questions on anything I've said? We can make this interactive. >> So, tell the time. Could you just repeat again? Translate that into what that means. >> Certainly.
We want to give our goal first. Explain what we're trying
to achieve up front, rather than build
the logic behind it first. Most people explain how they got there
first and if you don't know where you're going, it's really hard to appreciate
the information you're getting. I'll talk back, when I was a tour
guide here on campus, I trained for a full quarter. To this day, I can walk backwards in a straight line
>> [LAUGH] >> Because in training, all right, is anybody else in this room,
were you a tour guide here? Okay so you know what I'm talking about. At least back in my day,
in the quad we'd line up on one end and we had to walk backwards straight
all the way to the other end and if we didn't they'd make us start over,
it was like boot camp. I know lots of silly facts about
buildings that no longer exist on campus, I've walked down the stairs of Hoover
tower just in case when you're up top something happened, so
I was trained really well. But what do you think and you guys can't
participate because you know the answer. What do you think was the most important
thing they taught us as tour guides? The single most important lesson they
gave us, what do you think it was? Please?
>> Eye contact. >> Eye contact, very important. Not the most important,
although it's related. Yes.
>> Get your group back to where they were supposed to be [INAUDIBLE]
>> Right, so end up back where you started. Excellent, what else? Not the most important but yes. >> Find a restroom
>> Know where the restrooms were. Setting people's expectations. The number one thing they taught
us was never lose your tour group. [LAUGH]
As a tour guide if you lose your tour group,
you're not a very good tour guide. And on this campus they were worried
about somebody getting hurt or something bad happening. So part of the reason tour
guides walk backwards is so we can keep our eyes on all of you. The same thing is true when you are giving
a presentation or writing a document. Never lose your audience. Keep them focused and the way you do
that is by telling them the time first. A good tour guide starts by saying,
today we're going to walk to Hoover Tower, then we're gonna go to Mamod. You give the directions first so you set
people's expectations, so they know if they have to go to the bathroom first or
they should change their shoes. Would you follow a tour guide that said,
hi guys lets go. Not many of us would. We want to know where we're going and
why we're going there. So you have to bring the time first. Did that help?
Excellent. Yes please? >> How does this work with
interpersonal communication? >> So the question is,
does this idea of knowing you audience and setting expectations up front work
with an interpersonal communication. Many times it does, particularly when
in conversations of consequence. So when you're involved in making
points that are very significant, in day to day chit chat and conversation you
don't need to worry about this as much, but absolutely help people understand,
this is important and here's what I'm trying to achieve. Absolutely. Other questions? So let me share with you what
this really boils down to. It boils down to really
understanding your audience and there's some fundamental questions
you need to ask yourself. First we need to ask
what does our audience know about the topic on
which we're speaking. What do they know? Most of the time you're communicating
your audience has some background in what you're discussing. So you need to understand that knowledge. Second, what is it that they expect? Most of the communication
you have with people is communication that has happened before. That is, they've had a communication act
that's similar to the one you're having. I work with a lot of entrepreneurs and
they think that their pitch is the be all, end all of pitches. And it might be really good, but the people they're pitching to have
heard lots and lots of other pitches, so you have to think about what expectations
do they bring to that interaction. And how do I conform to those
expectations or deviate from them? And then finally, you need to think about what are the areas
of concern my audience might have. What is it that they might resist or
be bothered by? And you need to address those issues,
typically up front, because otherwise people
carry them in their mind. They keep asking, but what about,
but what about, but what about, and that gets in the way of
them taking in your message. So we really need to understand our
audience, who they are, what they know and what they expect. But the audience isn't enough. We also have to understand the context
in which we are presenting. Most communication happens in a context. I know that today, many of you are going
to hear many presentations, not just mine, and that influences what I do and
how I think about what I need to say. I might want to link some of the things
I'm saying to things you might hear later on. You might be coming,
now this morning this isn't the case, but you might be giving a presentation
where other people are coming to you after hearing other presentations. So you need to think of your presentation
as it fits into the life of your audience. So the timing is important, the length of
your presentation is important, so we need to think of these factors because they
influence the experience of your audience. When we create presentations or write documents we see them as
these narrow, isolated events. But in fact for our audience,
they're part of a longer continuum. Does that make sense? Okay, many people don't
think about that and it influences how your audience
perceives your message. So this is the first part of the equation. This is the knowledge piece. The next piece of our equation for
credibility has to do with connection. Have any of you ever participated in, been
the audience in, a boring presentation? >> [LAUGH]
>> I hope this is not it. Okay. What good, effective speakers do
is they connect to their audience. They pull them forward in their seats. It's the difference between watching
a really good movie in black and white and a really good movie in 3D. The experience is different. In 3D it's immersive,
you feel like you're participating in it. Good effective communicators
draw their audience in. They connect with them. So I'd like to spend a few minutes talking
about How we can connect to our audience, because if your audience feels connected
to you, then they are viewing you as someone who knows what they're saying and
are working with you to achieve your goal. It enhances your credibility. So let me suggest some
techniques you can use. The first technique is to
speak to the relevance of your information for your audience. Too often, we just talk at our
audience rather than with them. The best example I can think
of is when giving data. Often, people present data,
impressive numbers, but those numbers might not be meaningful for
people in their audience. Let me give you an example. I was working with
an executive at Citi Bank, and he was talking about the amount of money
that goes through Citi Bank every day. It was a really really big number,
but I don't remember it. So what he did after stated
the number he said that represents 25% of all the world's money
everyday goes through Citi Bank. I remember that. You might remember that now. The point is he made it relevant,
something I can understand. I've done some work with
a company called Ness. They make these really
cool learning thermostats. They talk about saving one
billion kilowatts of energy. Sounds like a lot, but
I have no reference point. Is that a lot or a little? So what they do is they make
it something I can understand. They follow that up immediately by saying,
that's as if you turned off all electricity in the United States for
15 minutes. Okay, now I get it. So they made it relevant. So you wanna make sure the information you
convey is relevant to your audience, and notice the only to do that is to really
understand who your audience is. So that audience piece, the reason
I present it first in the equation is it's critical in order to
get the connection you need. Beyond relevance we can
talk about analogies. Analogies are critical for helping your
audience connect to your content, because you're linking something they already
know to something you want them to know. And it buys you a lot,
you don't have to explain as much if you can link it to something
people already know. Another customer I worked with
was in the big data space. They were all about helping
people market better based on the data they know
about their customers. But they were struggling going into some
of their clients, because their clients didn't understand the value of the data
they had locked away in their servers. So they used an analogy. They'd get up, and on the screen they would project an image
of a Ferrari parked inside a garage. And they would say, your data is like
this Ferrari parked in a garage. Ferrari's are not meant
to be parked in garages, they're meant to be driven and enjoyed. Your data Is not giving you
the value that it's meant to have. And that helped their audience understand
the importance of what this company offers. So an analogy can really help connect. So if there's a time where
you're communicating or trying to convince
an audience of something, link it to something they already know,
and that will help you tremendously. It helps drive that connection. >> Quick question. >> Sure. >> Small question. You're a word person,
you're a communicator. So why did you use the word advance
analogies rather than use analogies? >> So
the question is why my language choice. So I am probably overly committed
to alliteration in my life. >> [LAUGH]
>> Okay, and you will notice that all of these
slides use alliteration, okay. I like to play with things like that,
so I had fun, so reveal relevance, advance analogies, invoke imagination. >> [LAUGH]
>> You see a pattern now? So One way to be
a compelling speaker is to use language creatively and so
this was my little homage to alliteration. So, there is,
there is something to parsimony and saying things as clearly and crisply as
you can, I was just having fun, okay. So, another,
another audience connecting technique, a way to draw your audience in is
to invoke people's imagination. I can tell you things, how many of you
have ever seen a slide that somebody puts up that just has bullet point
after bullet point, Right? They're called bullet points
because bullets kill, right. It can really put your audience to sleep. Rather than just going through
a litany of bullet points, you can ask your audience to imagine. Imagine what it would be like if, rather than me saying here is
what we are going to talk about. And it doesn't always
have to be imagination. Imagination is typically future thinking. You can talk about the past. You can say remember when. This gets your audience doing something. Asking them to imagine
asking them to remember, that gets them thinking rather
than passively receiving. One of the things I enjoy doing,
I listen to a lot of speeches. I listen to tons and
tons of presentations. I once calculated I've heard over
13,000 presentations, and in order In order to do that and still be sane, I come
up with a lot of different techniques, and one of my most favorite techniques
is when I watch a presenter present, I don't always watch the presenter. I'll stand on the sideline and
watch the audience watch the presenter. And when people use techniques like
invoke imagination, advancing analogies, people actually lean forward. When you have a speaker that just
recites bullet points, people lean back. So, you can actually physically see
people respond to these techniques. It's a way of connecting. It's a way of building that credibility. Finally, the most important concept is to connect to people
through inclusive language. You, us, we, that pulls people in. Many speakers,
because of their nervousness, because of the formality they perceive in
the interaction, use distancing language. One must consider the ramifications
blah blah blah blah, instead of this is important to you. I worked with another executive,
he was doing this big keynote, and I was the only person in the room. I was sitting in the middle
of the audience, and he said, the audience must consider. I looked around,
who the heck is he talking about? I'm the only person there. He needs to say you should consider. So when possible use inclusive language. Now, there are certainly times where the
speaking situation is formal, and formal language is appropriate, but most of
the time, conversational language works. There's a lot of research that says
fidelity, that's the accuracy of the transmission of your message,
is improved by conversational language. So there are many ways to
connect to your audience. You connect by being relevant. You connect by linking what you're
saying to things they already know. You connect by having them engage their
mind, rather than talking at them, talk with them. And finally, by using inclusive language. These techniques really help
your audience become engaged. And if they're engaged, they see you as a
more interesting and credible speaker and it actually can help reduce
some of your anxiety. If my audience responds the way
I want them to as I'm speaking, that makes me feel good, okay? So this all can help
build our credibility. Any questions on the connection piece? To early for questions, okay. >> [LAUGH]
>> So let's move to the third part of
the credibility equation, and this is, one second, this is where I'm gonna get you
guys doing some stuff if you're willing. Yes sir? >> I thought maybe this
would be at the end, but if you think it connects to connection. How to meter the enthusiasm factor. >> Mm-hm.
>> Versus the professional reserve factor, in terms of credibility. >> Right, so the question has to do with
how much enthusiasm versus how much do you have to be seen as a professional. And I want to come back to that question
after this next section cuz we're really gonna talk about non verbal pieces here,
and that's one of them, okay. That's one of them. So, the third the part really
has to do with confidence, and this might be the reason many
of you decided to wake up very early on a Friday morning
to listen to this, okay. Most people are anxious when speaking. About 85% of us suffer from what's
called glossophobia, which, until Google started running an ad,
nobody knew what that meant. Have you all seen that ad with
the kid who has to give a speech? Right. I love it.
It's done great things for what I try to communicate. Most people feel nervous when
speaking in front of others. The 15% who say they're not nervous,
I think they're lying. I think we could create a situation
where they would be nervous. Right? So this is a very common fact, and in fact this leads to one of the anxiety
management techniques that I'll suggest. Simply recognizing that being nervous
is okay and normal, can help people. I've written this book,
it's a very small book, called Speaking Up Without Freaking Out,
and I had somebody come up to me and say, Matt, I bought your book. I said, great, ,thank you very much. He goes, I haven't read it. >> [LAUGH]
>> I didn't know how to feel about that. And he said, but just knowing that
the book exists makes me feel better. >> [LAUGH]
>> Because what it does is it validates that he's not
the only one who feels nervous. If somebody had to write a book about it,
must mean more that one person feels it, and so I still don't know how
to respond to that comment but the point is that you're not alone. And sometimes when you feel that anxiety
the best thing you can do is say this makes sense that I'm nervous and
I'm going to do the best I can. Because what often happens is people get
more nervous based on their nervousness. So you sit there saying,
oh I can feel my knees shaking or the butterflies in my stomach,
they're gonna be able to tell I'm nervous. And all of a sudden your nervous
signs make you feel more nervous. So by greeting your anxiety
it can really help. So let me ask you a question. I'd like to hear from a few of you. How do you know when somebody's nervous? How do you know when a speaker is nervous? >> They start
>> Right, so what we call disfluencies
in my business. When people start saying those are signs
that somebody might be nervous. Most of us do that when we're thinking. And before I'm done today, will somebody
make sure I tell you a technique for reducing those significantly. Okay.
I don't want to do it right yet, but I do have a technique that works. How else do we know somebody's nervous. >> When they say they're nervous. >> Right.
So sometimes people get up and say I'm really nervous to be here. I'm not a big fan of
that technique at all. Okay.
Because then if I tell you I'm really nervous to be here, what
do you immediately start watching for? The nervousness and
you're not listening to my message. But you're right, nervous people
tend to say I'm really nervous. What else to really nervous people do? Yes, sir.
>> Pacing >> Right they pace, what I call spurious movement. They look agitated. Sometimes they look like caged tigers, they don't know what to do with
themselves, they're moving around. What else do people do? Yes, please. Their voice is shaky. >> Their voice is shaky. When you get nervous,
you breathe in a more constricted fashion from your upper chest, and so
you sound wispy and it can sound shaky. We all know from acting or singing,
you want to be breathing more deeply. One last thing we know. Yes, please. >> [INAUDIBLE]
>> They don't connect, so people look down,
they look up, they look around. So we definitely want to make
sure Let me say this first. You all know what a nervous
speaker looks like. You just told me. Now let me switch the question. How do you feel when you watch
a nervous speaker speak? >> Nervous.
>> Nervous, uncomfortable, right? Right? A couple of you might like it but most of us,
>> [LAUGH] >> Most of us don't like to see people suffer. Okay.
>> [LAUGH] >> So, what do we do when we see a nervous speaker speak? >> We turn off. >> You turn of.
Or, because you're empathetic and kind. You either sit there smiling and nodding the whole time to
make the person feel good. Or, you tune out or pull away because you don't want
to make the person feel nervous. Now flip it, I as a nervous speaker looking out at my
audience going like this the whole time or talking to themselves looking at their
phone, that only makes me more nervous. So we're in this vicious cycle where
my nervousness makes you nervous and uncomfortable and you're discomfort
then makes me feel more nervous, so we need to eliminate that pattern. And we do that by masking the tells for
anxiety, okay. Before I get to the sources
of our anxiety, I want us to work on how we hide the
anxiety cues that many of you pointed out. I call this fake it til you make it. All right.
Because something amazing happens. If you begin to act confidently,
your audience treats you as confident incredible and
then you begin to feel that way. So I want to very quickly walk us through
some non verbal behaviors we can use to make ourselves feel and
appear less nervous. And we're going to address many of
the issues that you all pointed out. The very first thing I want to
talk about is how we position our body when we present. Nervous speakers make themselves small. Nervous speakers starts a presentation. This is how most of them start. Thanks for coming,
I'm really excited to be here. [LAUGH]
>> Do I look excited to be here? No. In fact, do this activity with me. Will all of you make the okay symbol. At least in North American culture,
this is okay. If you travel elsewhere in the world,
please don't do this. It can be offensive. Okay, I'd like all of you
now to take this symbol and will you please put it on your chin. Okay.
Look where most of you put it. Most of you put it. What did I say? Chin. Most of us put it on our cheek. Okay.
A few of you were hedging your bets and going like this. [LAUGH] Why did the vast majority of
us follow what I did versus what I say? >> Because we're imitating. >> You're imitating and
you believe non verbals more. We believe what we see
more than what we hear. So when a nervous speaker says
I'm really happy to be here, do you think I'm happy to be here? No, because I've retreated. I've made myself small. So we want to make sure that our audience is reading the cues
the way we want them to. Does this feel better as a speaker? [INAUDIBLE] Oh, my new screen
disappeared or went the wrong way. I'll take care of it. Thank you. That's right. This is what I want. Thank you. So here's how much speakers,
most confident speakers start. They step forward and say welcome,
thank you for being here. Does that feel different? Yes. So one rule is we want to be big and
balanced when we present. Nervous speakers are small and unbalanced. Confident speakers are balanced and
go big. So when we start a presentation
we step forward. We want to be balanced meaning my
shoulder are square, my hips are square, my head is straight. Nervous speakers tilt their heads and
lean. Okay. We're going to practice this. If you would join me would all
please stand up for a moment. This is the audience participation point. If you feel comfortable doing it,
if not you can just watch the rest of us. Will you please all get in
your natural comfy position. Let's say you're waiting in line to
get into one of the venues here today. Okay, how would you stand if
you were waiting in line? I would be like this. Yeah, a couple of you on your phone. Very good. >> [LAUGH]
>> That's right, exactly. This is where most of you will
go when you are nervous or not attending to your body posture. So when you're nervous about speaking,
many of us will go into these positions. And if you look around the room
many of you look comfortable from waiting in line but you do not look
comfortable and confident for presenting. Okay. And what I really want you to
pay attention to is your feet. Did you make a good shoe choice today? Most of us are standing with our
feet splayed out like this or one foot is in front of the other. And what this invites is swaying and
spurious movements. So you either rock forward and
back or you sway side to side. Okay, if you're not currently in
this position now will you please splay your feet out. Okay, I want you to lean
on one of your legs. I don't care which leg. Is that leg getting tired? So what do you do? Because your hips are open you'll sway. Many nervous speakers will sway. Swaying is a self-soothing behavior. Right.
Just like little kids suck their thumbs, grown ups sway side to side or
rock forward and back to help us feel more comfortable. Okay? Now this might be making me feel more
comfortable, but how do I look to you? Yea, nervous, shifty, in fact. Okay, and
that is not helping my credibility, so we're going to eliminate this. Right now take your feet and put them
parallel underneath your shoulders. I'm saying stand too wide or too close, just parallel so
they're right underneath your shoulders. And if you can just come up on your
tiptoes real quickly and settle down. Excellent. This is a balanced position. Now would you please try to
sway side to side like you did. You can do it but
you really have to think about it. Most of us would not do this by accident. You have to throw your hip out to do it. This is a balanced position. I'm looking at all of you and all of you
look nice and composed and balanced. Looking at me I hope you
feel the same thing. Now you're also feeling at the same time
that this is incredibly uncomfortable. Right? But it looks comfortable when
you see somebody else doing it. [LAUGH] So the first,
the first rule is if I feel uncomfortable, my audience might be comfortable. So, know if you're feeling
comfortable as a speaker, maybe your audience isn't feeling so
comfortable. You can have a seat, thank you. So balance is the first piece,
balance is the first piece. Movement is absolutely acceptable. I love movement. Movement helps. When we move, we should move with purpose. I've already shared with you that
moving in to start a presentation shows confidence,
because you're stepping into the threat. Most people want to
retreat from the threat. Another great place to step
in is during questions. I don't know if you've noticed what I do,
but when someone asks a question, I've stepped towards the person
asking the question. Most nervous speakers,
when somebody asks a question, they'll say something like this,
"Does anybody have any questions"? And they step back. It doesn't make me look
like I want the question. And they'll hold onto things. Or they'll stand behind barriers, right? So we definitely want to make
sure that we step into questions. The third place for
movement is during transitions. We want to avoid moving
during important points. Most people because they're nervous
about their key message, so let's say I'm trying to get you to buy
something from me, when I go for the ask, that can make me very nervous. So people will move during it so
our product's got wonderful support. Our product is really,
really effective for what it does. Would you buy the product from me? They step away when they do the ask,
because they're nervous about it. Versus, standing still and
saying would you buy the product from me. So we want to avoid moving
during the important parts. Now I'm not saying transitions are not
important, but they're less important. So a great time to move is when
you're transitioning points. So now that we've talked about standing, what I'd like to talk
about next is movement. See how I'm moving as I'm transitioning. So three places for movement, forward when
you start, forward into questions, and side to side during transitions. That's about balance. The next piece has to do with
what we do with our hands. This is something that many,
many people worry about. We don't think about our
hands until we're presenting. Two places to put your hands when
you're presenting and not gesturing. Down by your side, this feels very
uncomfortable but it looks balanced. You don't stand here for a long time, but when you're waiting to be introduced
this is a good place to stand. When you gesture and then you're done gesturing,
this is a good place to retire too. The other place that most people feel
comfortable is just right in front of your navel, right in front of your belly
button, in a loose position here. Just loose. I don't care what the hands do,
just nice and loose. If the hands come up and many nervous speakers put their hands up
here, look what it did to my shoulders. My shoulders came up,
my elbows came in, I looked tight. I look like I, please help me end this. >> [LAUGH]
>> Okay? So we want our hands just
right around our navel. And when we gesture we gesture out and
away from our bodies. Most people lock their elbows in if they
gesture and they gesture this direction. It looks like a dinosaur, T-Rex. >> [LAUGH]
>> We extend out. We want to get our arms out and
away from our bodies. So the key to gesturing is extension. The key to posture is balance. Breathing is another key point, and several of you have mentioned nervous
speakers, their voice quivers. We want to make sure we breath deeply,
so before we begin a speech, we take a deep belly breath,
and really feel that expansion. Before ever speaking, days and
perhaps weeks before speaking, we practice reading out loud for
ten to fifteen minutes at a time. Unless you speak a lot,
like I do, you're not used to it. You don't have that stamina. You wouldn't go run a marathon
without putting some miles in first. You shouldn't get up and give an hour presentation without
practicing speaking out loud for awhile. Nervous and novice speakers who haven't
practiced breath control do two things. They start speeding up as they speak, because they're racing to get to the end
of the sentence so they can take a breath. Or as they're talking,
their voice just gets quieter and quieter because they've run out of breath,
and then they suck in air and do again. So we have to practice our breathing. Eye contact is critical. We've moved from breath to eyes. In North American culture,
we expect eye contact. Some of you have visited cultures, maybe are from cultures where
eye contact is seen as rude. Here, we expect eye contact. So we need to make sure
we look at our audience. And we want to spread
that eye contact around. Not necessarily in a patterned way. It looks very strange if I just do this. [LAUGH] So we want to make sure
we connect with our audience. I want to share two tips, because they came up as signs
that people said of anxiety. People talked about saying ums and uhs. It's actually a breathing issue. I would like all of you, now,
to inhales at the same time as you say. Can you please do that? Can't do it. You can't say and inhale. Now, say as you exhale. So what does this tell
us about the breathing? What's happening is nervous speakers, as they end their sentences,
they're taking a breath in. So as I'm ending my sentence,
I'm ending with an inhale. So what do I have to do to
get to my next sentence? Exhale. So if we finish our
sentences on an exhale, what do I have to do to
get to my next sentence? I have to inhale and I can't say. So you have to practice what
I call landing your phrases. So as I finish speaking,
I am completely on an exhale, and then I start my next speech,
or speaking. That means I cannot say or
I reduce the number of ums. So practice your breathing. This is not easy. You have to really
consciously think about it. Most of us don't think about how
we breathe within a sentence. But it reduces the amount of ums. The other thing that I'm often
told is a nervous habit or sign is that people sweat a lot,
people perspire. Actually what happens when you get
nervous is what I call plumbing reversal. What's normally dry get wet and
what's normally wet gets dry. So you get dry mouth but
you get sweaty palms. A great way to manage this, and
I'm a sweater when I get nervous I sweat, hold a cold bottle of water or
a cold cup of water. Before you speak, not while you're
speaking, because you could spill it. What this does is it reduces
your core body temperature. Reduces your core body temperature. So when you get nervous,
your heart rate increases. That increases your body temperature. Just like you put a cold compress on your
forehead if you have a fever, holding a something in the the palm of your hand
can reduce your core body temperature and can reduce some of the sweatiness. And if you blush or flush,
it can help there, too. Also, since you have the cup of water you
can drink it and it gets rid of dry mouth. So, kill two birds with one stone. So those techniques are how
we fake it til we make it. Let's practice. Everybody stand up quickly,
or not so quickly. Alright, we're going to
practice welcoming an audience. So, we're standing balanced,
feet are balanced. We're looking straight ahead,
because we're making good eye contact. And, what we're going to say when I count
to three, and I'll demonstrate first, is we're going to say, "Welcome,
thank you for coming". Now notice what I did with my hands. They extended out. Now it's not scripted,
like welcome [LAUGHTER] I just [LAUGH] >> When it's time, I just bring my hands up and
say welcome, thank you coming. And then I'm just going to bring my
hands back right in front of my navel, right in a relaxed position. So on the count of three,
we're going to say welcome. Thank you for coming with our hands
extended in a balanced stance. One, two, three. Welcome. Thank you for coming. You guys made me feel very welcome. Thank you. How does that feel? It feels pretty good. It feels good to extend. There's some very interesting
research coming out of Berkeley, I know I'm not supposed to say that,
Berkeley and MIT [LAUGH] about what
they call power positions. It turns out that when you do big
movements, you actually are releasing neurochemicals, testosterone and other
things that make you feel more powerful, that make you feel more confident. So by doing a big gesture like this,
it not only helps your audience see you as confident,
you begin feeling more confident. And because I'm not swaying,
because I'm looking at my audience, because I'm reaching out towards my
audience, they see me as more confident. Okay we can all have a seat. Thank you for doing that. >> [LAUGH]
>> It feels weird at first but you know if you see it, it actually looks
very natural, it looks very natural. I want to very quickly because I know
we're butting up against our time soon, and I want to have time for questions. I want to introduce you to
three sources of anxiety, because I firmly believe that if we
understand the sources of our anxiety, we can manage those sources and
began to feel more confident. If we understand the sources we can
manage the source and not the symptom, because the symptoms, once you manage
one of them something else comes up. I worked with this guy who
was an ultra-marathon runner. 26 miles wasn't enough for him. He would run 50, 75 miles at a time. He was super fit. And his nervous tell was he would shake. And because he was so fit,
his shirt just draped on him. And you would actually
see the shirt flutter. Honestly. And so what we did is we
worked on getting rid of that. He did big gestures because that
gave the adrenaline a place to go. And the shaking went away immediately. But he almost instantly started
saying more ums and ahs. Because he didn't get rid of his anxiety. He just learned how to mask it
cuz he didn't get to the source. So there are three sources of anxiety
I'd like to introduce you to. The first is what is called, nope. Situation based anxiety. Situation based anxiety has to do
with the anxiety of the situation. Many of you aren't nervous speaking
in a conversational mode so maybe you're talking to some fellow classmates
here and I walk by and say that's really fascinating would you mind coming up
on stage and sharing that with us. [LAUGH] And you go from being not
nervous to being very nervous. It has to do with where
you're doing the speaking. And this is a result of what
is called performance anxiety. Many of us when we see ourselves up
in front of people will feel like we are performing. And in a performance there is
a right way and a wrong way. How many of you ever did dorm theater or
sang while you were here on campus? Anybody?
A few of you, okay. You know that in a performance there
is a right way and a wrong way. Right?
Cuz if I don't follow the script, my fellow actors don't know what to do. The guys doing the sound and
lights don't know what to do. In speaking, there is no right way. There are better ways. There are worse ways. But there is no one right way. So we have to get rid of that performance
piece and replace it with something else. And my suggestion is to focus your
communication on being conversational. What you're having right now is
a conversation with multiple people. So rather than seeing it as a performance,
you see it as a conversation. How do you do that? You don't just say, I'm having
a conversation with 80 of my friends. First, you practice conversationally. So you go to a coffee house,
you sit at the dinner table and you converse your presentation. You don't get up in front of
an empty room and practice it first. Second, you use conversational language,
we talked about that already. I use you, us, we, names. Third, I use questions. Questions are dialogic. They are getting people
to have a conversation. So I start with rhetorical questions. I start with polling questions. When I prepare an outline,
I don't prepare word for word on the outline, I pose questions. My talk for you today, if you were to
see my outline, is a list of questions. What is credibility? Why is knowing your audience important? What are audience connecting techniques
and how can we manage our anxiety? Those are my four questions
that my talk is based on so my outline is a series of questions. And if I pose my outline as questions,
one it puts me in a conversational mode because when I'm answering
a question I'm conversing. And two, because I ask
the questions I know the answer. It gives me more confidence, right? [COUGH] I'm answering
the questions I know, okay. [LAUGH] So,
being conversational is very helpful. It helps reduce anxiety. So if your anxiety comes from the feeling
of performance of the situation, reframe it conversationally. The second source of anxiety
has to do with the audience. Who you're speaking to. And this is my source of anxiety. I get nervous in front
of certain audiences. Every year I go to a convention that
brings communication professors from around the country together and
I get nervous in front of these folks. And I don't know why, because if you
ever want to see really bad presenting, [LAUGH] go see a bunch of
communication professors. Their presentations are horrific. But I get nervous. [LAUGH] And the technique that helps you
manage audience based anxiety is one many of us have tried before. It's called visualization. How many of you have ever played
a sport where a coach told you to visualize doing your sport? Hitting the ball with a bat,
kicking the ball into the goal. Anybody done visualization? Excellent.
Sports psychology tells us visualization is the second best way to
improve in your sport. Actually practicing is the first best way. [LAUGH] Same thing is true with speaking. When I visualize the room, when I visualize the audience,
it desensitizes me. So I no longer have that initial fright
of when I get up in front of you and this is all new to me. Before I spoke to you today,
I came and saw this room. I knew what the room was gonna look like. I didn't just peek in from the corner,
I came up to the front of the room and said this is what it's gonna look like for
me. That helps desensitize you. So visualization desensitizes you,
thus reducing your anxiety. So situation based anxiety we
manage by becoming conversational. Audience based anxiety we
manage by visualization. The third source of anxiety
comes from goal based anxiety. Most of our goals in speaking
are about the future. We're trying to achieve some
kind of future outcome. My students wanna get a good grade,
that's a future outcome. The entrepreneurs I work
with wanna get funding. These are all future consequences and is that fear of the future
that causes their anxiety. I'm not gonna get the good grade. I'm not gonna get the funding. People aren't gonna give me the promotion. Those are all future states. So the way to short circuit
this goal based anxiety is to become present oriented. Some of this very initial
work was done here on campus. Zimbardo, the Prison Study guy. He studied time orientation,
being future, present, and past oriented. And you can change your
orientation in the moment. So rather than being future
oriented while I am presenting, I wanna become very present oriented,
be in the moment. Sometimes this is called flow
experience or rapt attention. I know a professional speaker
who gets present oriented. He gets paid $10,000 for
an hour of speaking. It's a great gig. To get present oriented, cuz he gets, he's
very nervous, he does a hundred push-ups. You can't do a hundred pushups and
be thinking about the future. Now he starts sweaty and
out of breath absolutely, okay. But he's in the moment. You've seen athletes before,
in the Olympics or other times where you watch athletes,
they listen to music. That gets them present oriented. You can do other simple things. Count backwards from a hundred by
some difficult number, like 17. I'll give you a moment. You're all Stanford people. [LAUGH] You can probably do two or
three and then you really have to
start thinking about it. That gets you present oriented. My favorite is to say tongue twisters. You cannot say a tongue twister right,
without being in the present moment. Why I like tongue twisters is you
actually have to vocalize it. Nervous speakers don't warm up
their voice before they speak. A singer would never go on stage and
start singing without warming up. Speakers need to warm up too. So I'm going to ask for
your last bit of audience participation. I would like you to repeat my
favorite tongue twister after me. And if you say this one wrong,
you'll say a naughty word. That's why I like it so much. >> [LAUGH]
>> Okay, so repeat after me. I slit a sheet. >> I slit a sheet. >> A sheet I slit. >> A sheet I slit. >> And on that slitted sheet I sit. >> And on that slitted sheet I sit. >> Oh, nobody said the naughty word. I thought I'd catch some of
you this early in the morning. Okay, notice that in that moment
you weren't thinking about, I am in front of a room of 80, 100 other
people, and they're thinking I'm foolish. No, you were in the present moment. So if we identify the source of our
anxiety situation based, audience based, or goal based. We can then begin using some of
these techniques to manage it. There are many anxiety management
techniques that exist. They exist to help us get control over
our anxiety so it doesn't control us. If we accomplish this,
situation is reframing, audience is visualization,
goal is present orientation. We can come across to our audience
as more credible and confident. So what we've done today is we've talked
about the importance of credibility. How it starts with understanding
our audience and their needs. How we can then connect what
we're saying to our audience, so they can become allies to us. So that they are helping us achieve
our goal, and then finally we talked about confidence building skills so
that we don't appear as nervous. I have a few minutes to take questions
you have about things we've talked about or other things. Yes sir. >> So when I speak in front of an
audience, which is not that often, inside I get nervous and anxious and I begin
speaking fast and my voice is shaking. >> Yes.
>> But when I watch myself on [INAUDIBLE] videos,
none of that comes across. So just curious is that normal or
how do you explain that. >> So there's a lot of research
that addresses that issue, and the question had to do with, when I speak
in front of others I feel very nervous, but people don't see that nervousness. And that partially is what
we just talked about. Most of us are good at hiding some
of the tells that we have, and people can only see what we show them. Right, they can't feel
what's going on internally. And there's a lot of research over
the last three decades that have said people tend to appear about
half as nervous as they feel. So if I asked you, how nervous do
you feel on a scale one to ten? You might say I'm on 11. And when you show your audience the video
of you speaking they say you looked about a four or a five. So because they don't see
what we're showing them. They only see what we're showing them,
they don't see what we're feeling. >> There was a question over there? Yes? >> When I speak extemporaneously-
>> Yes. >> It seems to have 5 times a greater
impact then when I speak off of a script. >> Yes. >> But obviously it's very hard work and
preparation and time. To get to the point of speaking
extemporaneously then on script. Any thoughts on that? >> Yeah, extemporaneous speaking,
especially for nervous and novice speakers is very challenging,
and it takes practice. And I have two recommendations
to help get there. One is a wonderful organization
called Toastmasters. I do work for them, but
I'm not really affiliated with them. It's a great organization that helps
people Feel comfortable speaking. It's very cheap and there are Toastmaster
organizations all over the world and on this campus there's several. Second, improvisation. Taking classes on
improvisation really helped. Principles of improv relate
directly to speaking. In fact I have partnered with an improv
teacher here on this campus and we teach a class. Through continuing studies called
improvisationally speaking. Where we try to achieve exactly
the goal you're talking about. Helping people feel comfortable
speaking in public extemporaneously through using techniques from improv and
communication. But you're right, it's hard. But the key goal to doing it,
both improv and Toastmasters, give you
opportunities to practice. You cannot get better at
speaking extemporaneously, if you aren't practicing
speaking extemporaneously. So that really helps. Yes, please. >> Can you recommend a book to give
to high school graduates to present the [INAUDIBLE] [INAUDIBLE] to help
them start out communicating better? >> I did not set this up. >> [LAUGH]
>> There's a great book. >> [LAUGH] [APPLAUSE]
>> I think my book is helpful. The reason I wrote the book
is there really is no book out there that talks about
how to manage anxiety. I'll take that off the screen. I really think the book
Made to Stick by Dan and Chip Heath is a great book to help
people figure out how to more concisely speak in a way that, how to create
messages that will really resonate. So that book will help. If you have somebody who's nervous, then I think something like
what I wrote can help as well. Those would be the two places I go. Couple more questions. I know I have to still answer yours. Yes.
>> One of the worst things to happen to you when you lose your audience
>> Yeah. >> [INAUDIBLE] How do you get them back? >> That's a great question and
very challenging. So the question is what do
you do once your audience. So the cheap answer is never lose them. So use these audience
connecting techniques. What I like to do is asking questions. >> Sometimes, if I feel like I've lost my
audience, I will stop what I'm saying and I'll give them an activity to do. I'll say, so I've talked for
about 15 minutes. Here are the three key
points I've talked about. I want you to work with somebody
sitting next to you to talk about how this applies to your job. Or how this applies to your life. You pull them back in. You make them do something. And it sounds awkward but
it really can work. And it works particularly well in virtual
presentations when you actually don't see your audience. When you ask them to do something,
it pulls them back in. Let's take one more question and
then I'm gonna answer that question. Yes, please. >> Is there a role for pro [INAUDIBLE]
>> So, there are medicines that can help in
terms of the physiologic responses I am not a big advocate of those medicines just
because they typically have side effects. When I work with people who
have taken beta blockers and other medicines, they say it
helps with the anxiety symptoms. But it makes them more cognitively fuzzy,
for example. And it's harder to focus, which
invites a whole nother slew of issues. So, I'm not a medical doctor. I think you have to talk to the medical
professional to see if it's right for you. Just be very cognizant of the side effects that might affect
other parts of your speaking, okay. I'm gonna hang around and answer some of
these other questions individually but I know there are lots of exciting
things happening on this campus. I do wanna come back to the question
of how do you balance this notion of energy and
enthusiasm with being professional? I think it really comes down
to your comfort level and your authentic way of presenting. And your read of the audience. And I like ending on this
answer to that question, because to me, being authentic and
credible is key. And the only way you can get there is
by understanding your audience, and their expectations. So you have to make a judgement call, what
does this audience need at this moment. I knew speaking to a group of Stanford
alums at eight in the morning, you needed energy from me. >> [LAUGH]
>> Okay? And so that's the approach I took. If I were presenting to academics
at an academic conference I might dial down the energy and work on
being more academic and professional. I thank you, I wish you all
speaking up without freaking out. And if I can help, let me know. >> [APPLAUSE]
>> Thank you.
