COMING OUT STORY | BEING OUTED

hey what's up everybody thanks for checking in so today I'm gonna be sharing with you guys my coming-out experience so uh in high school I was never out I tried to maintain that straight persona I guess you could say I dated girls I did everything I could to kind of maintain that facade I never really kind of explored or even really thought of exploring in high school I always knew that I had this like weird attraction to dudes but I thought that I would be able to you know grow up like marry a woman have kids have it that family that I always dreamed of and stuff so I kind of just held onto that and that's what kind of kept me looking in the direction that you know I thought I was supposed to go rather than exploring that other path of what could it mean if I were to you know be with God so after my grade 12 year at high school in that super small town that I lived in where there were like almost no gay people it was like very like homogeneous so like very white very straight everything like that I decided I you know for university I'm moving to this bigger city where everybody's kind of widely accepting so I kind of planned that I would be coming out in my first year and I'd be starting off on University uh being you know the person I am and at that point I originally just thought I was bi I thought I liked what girls and then there was like something in the back of my head that like kind of insinuated I like dudes as well but coming my free coming into the first year I chickened out again surprise surprise surprise and I ended up keeping that secret and again first year went by you know maintaining that facade of liking girls being with girls stuff like that second year second year I began to kind of experience some of the effects of like hiding that hiding like my true self I guess you could say my mental health started to eat me away and I really started like kind of digging myself into a hole so after that I started becoming more open to the possibility of exploring with guys you know I wanted to kind of see what that felt like and see like maybe was just a one-time thing if those ever happened like you know maybe I'm just curious and after I explore my curiosity I'll never be curious again so I ended up meeting this guy and we hung at once and I remember going to his house and I was like super super nervous because it was hidden like I wasn't even out at all yet and I was super nervous that like you know like people would find out that I would like that I was like potentially gay or bi or whatever I was at whatever I thought I was at the time and I remember going to his heaven it felt like that connection that we had and I'm not saying that like I love the guy or anything like that but that just that emotional connection that was there from the start like I just knew that okay I'm not buy anymore like this facade that I was maintaining and that I thought I would be able to maintain for the rest of my life with a girl I would not be able to do at this moment I truly began to feel like what it was like to have a real crush so I kept talking to this guy thanks but kept you know becoming more real more real and then we ended up parting ways whatever and that was my first heartbreak and it was hard the heartbreak I stayed by it is the most painful thing in the world but fast forward to a couple months this these mental health issues that I talked about a couple minutes ago they started eating me away I started distancing myself from my family and my friends I was like unrecognizable whenever I would look at myself in the mirror and I started lashing out to people that were closest to me my mom is like my main supporter I wouldn't talk to her for weeks at a time and finally I went home at the ending of my second year in May and my mom was just driving me to the train station to come back to London and I remember lashing out at her we got in a huge argument about random things and I ended up getting out of the car not even saying goodbye at the train station not even giving her a hug goodbye telling her I loved her or anything like that and and I was sitting on the train and I felt extremely extremely guilty I knew that okay this isn't fair I started tearing up I was like my mom doesn't deserve this of all people she's just trying to be supportive of me and everything like that so that's whenever I realize it's time for me to come out to my mom so I wrote her this huge long text message like huge so long that like iPhones kind of like paraphrased it so it's like shorter and it only shows you like the first couple of sentences right and I guess what happened is the first couple sentences kind of explained like I know I've been like acting weirdly and like it towards you and hasn't been fair and stuff like that and saying apologizing for like my misbehave my misbehavior Ness is that word and yeah so then my mom she responded back she must not have clicked on the message to see the actual part of me saying that I was gay and she just responded back whatever I'm out for a drive and I was like oh I was like this is my mom's reaction to me coming out here I was like my life is over so anyways and then she responded a couple hours later saying like I didn't click on the old message I'm so sorry then we talked about it some more and she wanted me to call her and I just wasn't ready for it at that point so up into that point she never really asked me if I was gay but over the phone she did tell me that she had a bit of an idea and that she was up to London a couple months before and I guess she got in the car and called and said to my dad like oh don't be surprised if Jacobs gay and that was kind of out of the blue and when she told me that I was like whoa like mom's kind of always dunno so then fast forward a couple months at this point only a couple of my London friends know and only my mom knows and that's about it so I went to this Canada Day party and it was just after a guy I was like kind of seeing like hanging out with we just decided to end it and I decided you know when I was gonna come out to one person and go from there so I was talking to one of my I also found it was a lot easier to come up to girls so I was talking about my friends as like yeah like here's a surprise like me and this dude just ended stuff like that and it ended up happening that somebody overheard the conversation was like did you just say boyfriend like and they started going around kind of like I wouldn't meet to everybody and everybody at my entire high school was at this party everybody in my whole community around my age is at this party and it wasn't for about half an hour and everybody at the party knew and it was this huge news so I ended up leaving the party because it was just that didn't want to be there anymore around 1:00 a.m. and I woke up the next morning at 8 a.m. and people some of my friends that were at a party 45 minutes away have heard by that point I had about 22 text messages I think it was by 8 a.m. the next morning my dad who I don't really speak with four of his best friends called him saying hey did you hear the news about your son it was spreading like a wildfire so I remember going up to back up to London that day and I couldn't even believe what was happening people were texting me calling me reaching out and although it was very nice and their intentions were pure I was kind of like uh surprised I wasn't mad but I wasn't happy I just was like very overwhelmed and then I came back to London for the next school year my third year and my two best friends still had no idea I you know was just I just started a new relationship with a guy you know we've been dating for six months at this point and still my best friends have no idea so I ended up coming out to my one best friend I was in lecture one day I was in my immunology class and I sent him a huge long snapchat I'm just being like hey dude like yeah I'm in I have a boyfriend like so yeah I'm gay and stuff like that and he was blown away and I felt so bad because his girlfriend of four years just broke up with him over text that day and he end up going to a therapy appointment that night and he was joking with me because he's like Jacob man like I had an hour appointment in the whole hour all I talked about was how my best friend came out to me and not my four-year relationship breakup so long story short uh yeah I'm out I'm happy to be out I don't have to like hide myself anymore I'm able to you know walk with my head high rather than constantly wondering if you know this person knows the real side of me or if this person does or this person doesn't and stuff like that I can honestly say it was the best decision that I ever made was to start coming out I never thought in a million years I would be here today sitting in front of anybody let alone a camera full of people that's gonna go on YouTube to say you know I'm gay but I mean I wouldn't really change anything for the world I I'm one of those people that thinks that there's a plan for everything and that night that I got outed to everybody and you know I went home and I was crying I I never saw it that this was the plan but looking back I can say it you know I'm pretty happy it turned out that way I'm a little bit awkward when it comes to serious conversations like that so I think it did help me but in the end like you know if I had to end it with one message to kind of pass hoenn to people I'd honestly just say like you do you worry about yourself what put your own happiness first because I was putting other people's happiness first I was putting you know everybody's judgment before my own and I was worried about what people would think and that was limiting me and now that I'm out of the closet I've been out of it for a couple months a year year and a half now varying times for different people but you know now that I'm out I'm a more hat I'm happier I've ever been I'm the happiest I've ever been out of the closet that I've ever been in the closet so [Music]

Channel: Jacob Campbell

Views: 686,894

Keywords: Coming out, Coming out video, Coming out of the closet, Gay, Story time, Curious

Id: MwmW8g6AF48

Length: 11min 49sec (709 seconds)

Published: Thu Mar 19 2020