Chuck Calls The Devil With A Plan To Sell His Soul | Strassman Live Vol. 1 | David Strassman

do-do-do-do oh sorry are you on the show yes Teddy I think we should give them another chance I don't like the furry guy give him another chapter what he's done tonight but I love him I know I should be grateful that somehow that bothers me should we give Chuck one last chance to see if he can behave himself shall we we have to it's part of the script Chuck here's your last chance to behave yourself Peter thank you we can remove the chair Chuck this is your last chance to a behave yourself nice ass hey stalkers oh come on stop hey you big strong man mr. stalker yeah here take that both stop it oh you can't do it can you you can't behave yourself you think it's easy trying to become the real boy oh come on stop it with his reveal boy crap I want to move my arms Daytona move my legs on a playlist my I get the point we have to learn to accept our limitations yours doesn't work either when are you going to grow up I can't grow up I'm not real it's all your fault oh now it's my fault I should just sue your ass oh go ahead and sue me because I can't wait to see a lifeless puppet take the witness stand objection overruled damn I just want to change what I am what's that a dummy why don't you become politically correct Homo erectus but what is your politically correct term Chuck I am physically challenged a non-ambulatory hearing impaired speech impaired skin and bone impaired would enhanced person and I want that on my tombstone I want pepper Oh Leon boy you are a suck wit thank you Chuck how you gonna do it and just answer me that how you to turn into a real boy huh Plan C using my liji board and the stalkers left testicle all it's still on am i and going to some the Prince of Darkness you mean the devil no Winston Peters of course the devil you're talking about contacting the devil himself the who the hell should I call David cuff his heel you could call the professor on Gilligan's Island I'll use him to get to ginger in there I am Chuck look calling the devil could be real dangerous I'll wear a condom you better think about this first okay you wear a condom Chuck this is something that you don't rush into I'm not gonna rush into it I'll get it plenty of thought good done I'm selling my soul right now go ahead Chuck fine sell your soul to devil see what I care go ahead okay I will all I do is recite this ancient incantation I picked up on the internet goes like this you put your right foot in your butt what's going on here turned out the lights so funny pitch my bottom at the door my god this is how you contact the devil Lily could check if I should go but I think this is quicker Chuck what do we do I got an idea what want you dial it you moron Oh like I know Satan's phone number I think it's 666 what if somebody answers that's the general idea how do you even know if you're talking to to you-know-who heritage lice Authority really call me right in the middle of dinner and try to switch me to vote a song look Chuck this is really surreal Dave Cherie you're talking to a wooden doll right get it no you get it no no you get it I can't get it that's why we're calling the devil what that's a green one a green one hello stinking how'd you find me here yes I know the consequences of what I'm doing no I did not go to church last Sunday now I'm not going tomorrow either oh I don't believe in you anyway so off hang it up was that God Santa Claus that bastards always calling me oh you're not gonna get any toys for Christmas I'll just take yours oh damn Kenny did I just hear you swear all the double mainly do it now dial it 666 here's my chance do you hear anything give it a minute I'm sure hell is long distance what stupid drinking okay he how great it's your recording what did say was it say hello and welcome to hell all lines are busy please listen to the following selections before making your choice if you want to sell your soul press one that's it place a curse on your mother-in-law for his to for the outcome of the America's Cup press 3 for upcoming satanic events such as the apocalypse nuclear accidents and Tom Jones concerts threat 7 all others stay on the line a demon will possess your daughter shortly fish lumpfish lon this one one one one one come on aha wait I have three hello mr. devil Hawaii sir hot but is it a dry heat what's that sorry he saw that I'm look here these will Don sir my name is Chuck and I'd like to sell my see what yes I'll hold Jesus Christ but what excuse me what Chuck they're playing the stones while you're on hold I wondered how those guys live so long yep hello now listen here you pointy-headed Sundberg looking pitchforks another bitch Chuck what are you doing you're talking you the devil I'm still Hana hold he keeps you unholy long I'm gonna take that bar Dilly's and shut it right in hello mr. devil - look here my name is Chuck and I want to sell my soul so I can become a real boy no no become a boy I live in Sherlock whiz dog duh what what do you need I don't have a soul where the hell am I in a sinus oldest I'm a knight hey how much for the soul the guy lives hand up my ass you kicked me out of this too late you're in it up to your elbows come on Satan big guy you're responsible for sires and floods the All Blacks and you can't even turn me into a real boy well you suck the big one Chuck you wouldn't let me talk to him hello hello you talking to me where's my theme music that's not it yes much better no make this quick I've got bill gates on the other line I'm a ventriloquist my puppet chuck wood wants to sell his soul to you so he can become a real boy silence I know this but you called Chuck I was his first until the question I made him you made him that explains everything well then you can turn him into a real boy never it was him but you'll be kicked out of heaven a little faster I taught him a lesson I kept you so you're wasting your time human well if you have the soul can i buy it from you and then sell it back it's not for sale I gotta go my mom's calling me make sure you check out my website is www.seannal.com millions of voices cried out in terror and then were suddenly silenced help me everyone can only earn my only hope Chuck you alright I'm scared of a devil my phone bill I'm glad you didn't make this deal with the devil I'm glad you're not going anywhere oh my god folks he's talking out of my mouth and his ass at the same time you know something Chuck despite all you do and who you are I care for you oh god no really Chuck I consider you the son I never had I consider you the father I never wanted Chuck everything will turn out okay that'll is my last chance man I thought the devil would have forgiven me by now what did you ever tell me about this relationship with the devil are you kidding he looks a sling I don't know what to do I'll never become a real boy Heather Chuck you can have my lucky rather two-foot no thanks I know her then hell you tried Wizard of Oz have you tried shutting the up Chuck look maybe maybe you should forget this business about becoming a real boy it's hopeless it's time for Plan X plan X suicide look Chuck don't be so morbid okay I'll die happy how do you need you for this Chuck goodbye cruel world I'm leaving I don't do this Sundaya oh god hurt Chuck don't do this Oh God Oh Chuck Chuck come back was that too fast Oh Teddy you can have my action man goody Dave you can have the gold I stole for the Nazis in World War two go what gold it's in the heart I buried it in the try oh god I can't see I'm blind in her don't do this don't go Chuck Chuck come back is he dead I'm afraid so teddy oh no I can come back I can't you do his voice it won't come out he couldn't have his dream so he killed himself another got to tell him Dave what's that teddy I think he's real nearly teddy No Oh Oh most horrible night in there I dreamt that was a puppet and I died wait a minute I am the puppet son-of-a-bitch

Channel: David Strassman

Views: 1,218,560

Rating: 4.7550578 out of 5

Keywords: Nina Conti, Melbourne Comedy Festival, Strassman Live, David Strassman, Strassman, Chuck Wood, chuckwood, Ted E. Bare, Ted E Bare, Ted E Bear, ventriloquist, ventriloquism, puppets, Jeff Dunham, Terry Fator, Puppetronics, humor, humour, stand-up comedy, live comedy, puppetmaster, talking teddy bear, hilarious, teddy bear, Achmed the Terrorist, comedy, funny, puppetry, Vol 1 Strassman Live 9/10, Chuck Calls The Devil With A Plan To Sell His Soul, possessed puppet, evil puppet, the devil

Id: PPi0BGszFwQ

Length: 14min 11sec (851 seconds)

Published: Wed Mar 28 2012