Chopping Mall (1986) KILL COUNT

[Music] welcome to the killcount where we tally up the victims in all our favorite horror movies I'm James Agee nice and today we're looking at shopping mall released in 1986 and a paragon of ridiculous mid 80 slashers shopping mall is sort of a bait and switch from the name and VHS cover you're probably thinking of some Jason s killer stalking around a mall but in truth there's no chopping to be had because instead of any blade wielding spree killer this movie gives us killer robots and as if the killer robot premise wasn't off-kilter enough already shopping malls also rife with bizarre character moments and lines that leave you questioning if this movies even for reals let's go scan those fuckers or Brando Grahams this is also our first killcount movie with a connection to Roger Corman who helped finance this film and whose wife Julie Korman served as the producer since as part of the Corman family that means it's super fuckin sleazy so if you're into that have fun but the stuff I like most about it is the just not quite meta tone and the appearances of a couple genre mainstays including Barbara Crampton and Joe Dante's best friend Dick Miller fun fact in this movie Dick Miller delivers that last line of the extended dead meat intro that everyone's always asking about go ahead and laugh you guys but if I'm gonna find a little bastard did this dead meat yep we dick Geoff I'm also happy to mention that today's episode is brought to you by loot crate and the horror themed specialty box loot for I never run into the same problem I always have where you want to go to the store to buy esoteric Horror props but you're too damn worried about getting your head blown up by killer robots well now you can skip the store and have horror toys and goodies delivered to your doorstep on a bi-monthly basis in this case meaning every two months did you know that word can also mean twice a month that's like an entirely different meaning making bimonthly a pretty useless work get a job bimonthly but you can have that spoopy box on your doorstep every other month by going to loot crate calm and using the promo code dead meat you can remember the promo code by thinking of dick thanks for the support right now let's get to the kills [Music] the movie begins with a robbery perpetrated by a guy who looks like he's running late to a greased lightning rehearsal but before he can go burn up the quarter mile he stopped by a robot the dude doesn't listen and so the robot numbered with a man from uncle inspired ID badge very slowly chases him down and eventually fires a Taser at the juice which shocks him to the ground the end how many kills dare a robot friend get it turns out that was one of them newfangled motion pictures playing for an audience at a presentation inside a shopping mall a guy named dr. Simon comes out and introduces his protector 101 series robots who are taking away American jobs by becoming the new security detail at the multi-story Park Plaza Mall he assures the audience that the robots aren't meant to kill and demonstrates how they can tell criminals from all employees through their high-tech badge scanning visors cool barcode scanner dude but how are your stupid robots gonna even make it off that elevated platform without a ramp that's sort of the great thing about the chopping mall killbots they're both stupid as hell and pretty freakin cool at the same time designed by Robert short to look like an updated version of the robot from GOG a 1954 science-fiction film they could reportedly get up to eight miles per hour in real life but they still look like some clunky hunks of junk that not even a Jawa would bother to pick up and try to sell I should also mention for anyone who watched this movie and was confused about them that there's a snarky couple in the audience who keeps saying snide remarks to each other but Statler and Waldorf they ain't it reminds me of your mother it's the laser eyes I guess these characters Paul and Mary bland are from the 1982 comedy eating Raoul maybe we could use one at the restaurant get rid of people we don't like no I've never heard of eating Raul either no I don't know why chopping mall has to take place in the Raul averse with the presentation finished we get ourselves a title car which kicks off an incredible opening credits montage featuring the most amazing a decent score you've ever fucking heard my friend [Music] this intro has everything little poopy chocolate boys hot and heavy PDA of all generational cohorts kids who want you to not have a cow man and egregious booty shots of beauty pageant contestants riding and respecting the escalators the credits end inside a diner that looks way too div' to be inside a shopping mall but at least their decor includes a poster of slumber party massacre another cheesy 80 slash are financed by Roger Corman man Corman movies are like a whole sub-genre unto themselves it's in this diner of unlikely decor that we meet Allison and Suzy two waitresses who are waiting for their shift ends so they can have good times to the max Suzy is of course played by Barbara Crampton legendary scream queen who was last on the kill count as the family matriarch and you're next now I'm not a big fan of how these ladies refer to this dude in the diner as an orca whale but holy shit he delivers my favorite line from anything ever waitress more butter just that off and delivery man waitress more butter that guy's my hero l swear on the Park Plaza Mall are these three dudes who work at a furniture store where that good times to the max party is gonna take place they include the nerdy Ferdie party planner Greg and beer provider Mike you did get the beer right Mike come on the fridge is packed dude okay just making sure then we good Mike as long as you do your patented hipster Austin quack like a duck when you leave my man the furniture store party will be rounded out by Mike's girlfriend Linda and this recently married mechanic couple who gets way more backstory than you'd expect for characters in this cheap slasher we haven't had any fun since we sunk all our wedding money entrepreneurial newlyweds sure I'll roof of that Ellison expresses some concern about the after-hours party to Susie in a wait a locker room at the mall for these mall diner waitresses what the fuck kind of mall is this or is this just an excuse for the filmmakers to have more TNA hope yep definitely that one the Park Plaza Mall is just about to close and fun fact the mall exterior is played in different shots by both these Sherman Oaks Galleria which is in my neighborhood and the Beverly Center Mall which depending on traffic anywhere from thirty minutes to two hours away the mom gets zapped by lightning which fries some electrical equipment and everybody knows that frying your circuits is the best way to get evil killer robots they waste no time in killing this tech Marty who's sitting there looking at smart on the job this place ain't paying near to wank at Marty's so killbots say you're a needless expense they're here to increase the bottom line through blood a little while later Marty's co-worker shows up and since I guess what the killbots hid the evidence of Marty's death he puts his feet up to also mooch on company time this dude technician Nesler is played by Garrett Graham last seen on the kill count laying down rules for Andy Barclay and hanging out with chucky on the stairs hanging still his genre credentials don't save him from the kill bonds though who shoot a little harpoon thing into the back of nesler's tech neck it's another short and simple kill that mostly relies on a close-up insert because this movie pretty much had no budget frankly it's amazing it got made at all everyone's having a good time at the furniture store party except for Ferdie who's too nervous to enjoy himself since he's been set up on a blind date with Alison by all the wild and crazy friends work it Babs but the wholesome nerdy characters meet and it's love at first sight good that means this won't be an awkward furniture store party those are the worst as the three killbots begin their patrol duty on the various levels and sectors of the Park Plaza Mall the kids inside the furniture store engage in what's a few feet away from being an orgy with the couples hooking up on various pieces of furniture while whispering sweetmeat nothings into each other's ears smell like pepperoni weird tactic with that line Greg you really think that's gonna work I like that song oh shit nice save bro they had just earned you some more gratuitous nudity still the pepperoni thing isn't even the weirdest line in this scene Michael no I don't know that Wow I do definitely wrote this script instead of hooking up Allison and Ferdie entertain themselves with an old 50s b-movie but eventually they get to lip-locking to just you know the more innocent kind oh now they're gonna miss the movie oh well the end how many victims did those killbots take down and I'm just kidding again that was the end of the movie on TV you know in case you get down we've had plenty of boobs in this movie so how about some dick dick Miller plays custodian Walter Paisley who's again a character from another movie this time the 1959 horror comedy a bucket of blood which was directed and produced by Roger Corman let me know if you want me to cover that one I haven't seen it yet but as a pre psycho horror film I'm very interested in it Walter is mopping up some unseen gross miss on the floor with a bucket of mud when his co-workers walk up and laugh at him for working so hard go ahead and laugh you guys but if I'm gonna find a little bass as it did this it dead meat fuck yeah dude after his co-workers leave kill bot number one rolls up on Walter and spill some of that nasty water at his feet you quoted you son of a bitch Walter shows that clumsy son of a body's badge but the killbot don't care it sends a cheap-looking electric cable into the water and sends a shock through it electrocuting Walter to death with fun hand-drawn effects that eventually become lit sparkler effects Walter finally dies and falls to the floor where his body is washed over with a fog machine who's the dead meat now dick who's the dead meat now Leslie wants a post-coital cigarette and she convinces Mike to go buy some for with a well reasoned argument just kidding she does it by showing him her boobs he heads out into the abandoned mall and finds a cigarette vending machine but while he's busy fluffing up his poop killbot numero uno rolls up behind him and demands identification yep for those of you didn't know that saying didn't originate an army of Darkness but instead the 1951 sci-fi flick The Day the Earth Stood Still to Barada nikto super nerdy fun fact it's also referenced in Star Wars see Klaatu was the dude at Jabba's palace who fought with Luke Skywalker on the barge barato was another dude of Platini enslaved to be exact who also fought Luke and died at car kun and nikto was the species that included Klaatu and other characters like this guy wolf who's often mistaken for quoi to buy total news yes I'm a huge Star Wars nerd and know there will never be kill count on him sorry penny way back to this other sci-fi classic kill bot once seduced Mike to the ground with a dart thing and then goes and kills him by missing with us clamp attack we do see his cause of death in a second though after Leslie comes looking for him and somehow doesn't notice his body sitting right there until she's literally tripping over it it's then that we see his throat was slit so thanks for finding him Leslie don't scream that's a solid effect a pair of double doors opens inexplicably to reveal protector one who was waiting behind them in a shroud of fog it chases Leslie down while shooting hot pink special effects at her some of which hit her in the back and the booty so I guess those blasts aren't all that powerful man oh my god never mind that lady's head just got blown to fucking pieces wow what an awesome kill not kill bot thank you as if things weren't already getting out of hand now there are two of them cuz protector two joins the head robot and together they shoot down the glass doors to the furniture store the horny teens all run away and take various stunt falls while neon-colored special effects whiz by them and destroy everything in the store yeah dude just try and stop those cobots with a tiny table they make their way to a back room and barricade the doors with cardboard boxes but I hope they're cozy in there cuz the malls high-tech security doors just lock them up time and the building won't open again until morning in an effort to escape they head into the air ducts but after the ladies get inside the robots breached their barricade having used plastic explosives what the why the fuck do these mall security bots have plastic explosives in them who designed this shit in any case that sends the dudes running away so now the teens are separated three women and three men for an even 50/50 split when writing chopping mall co-writer Steve Mitchell wanted his sexy teen victims to stand out among the genre by fighting back so in order to be properly equipped for the at the dudes head to a sporting goods store named Peckinpah's how we gonna get it don't worry I got the keys there this Wild Bunch arms themselves to the teeth with various firearms witches all kinds of hilarious when you remember that this was filmed inside a California shopping mall then composer Chuck Sereno whose work in this movie is truly fantastic gets to play around a little bit by giving the guys their own spaghetti western theme [Applause] [Music] killbot number one shows up and the dudes opened fire on it but because neither side of this fire fight could hit the broadside of a battle bot they end up just rolling a propane tank at the killbots treads and shooting it to make it explode fun destruction but killbots aren't going on the list because let's face it robots aren't people sorry l3 meanwhile in the air dogs the kill BOTS have cranked up the heat in order to flush the women out Suzy ain't no got-damn potato so she ain't lookin to get french fry instead she freaks out and kicks open event so they can escape into this Pep Boys or whatever Suzy's in full-on hysteria mode not on like her character in your necks but thankfully the capable and mechanically inclined Linda is here and she's able to show Suzy and Allison how to arm themselves with Molotov cocktails and road flares the dudes are fixing up a propane tank bomb on top of the Park Plaza elevator when kill bot one reawakens itself from its apparent destruction the guys don't notice at first though cuz they're too busy exchanging cheesy dialogue I almost forgot how much do I owe you for the beer forget it man we get a Terry you owe me a six-pack do you hear anything unusual only my heartbeat they do finally perk up when they hear Suzy screaming since the ladies have found themselves fleeing from kill bot number two their gas tank Molotov cocktail only ends up making it look like a bot out of hell and since it's all revved up with no place to go but forward it starts shooting at the three women it's okay if you miss one kill bot two out of three ain't bad the kill bot shoots down Suzy who screams cuz she don't want to die but protector 2 thinks that heaven can't wait with one shitty laser blast the gas tank blows up and an explosion so hot it triggers the transformative property of Barbara Crampton into a male stunt double it's not a full transformation though cuz he still got her screams oh my god dude she takes forever to burn to death the dudes show up and shoot at the kill bot but it's pretty obviously bulletproof so they run away and lure it into the elevator in order to spring their trap Rick arms the propane bombs it leaps out the way while the others up above shoot at the tanks with her guns to certify her final real worthiness Alison ends up being the one who sinks the shot which causes a colorful bunch of fireworks to go off and destroy protect her - after the elevator falls down the shaft and crashes in another big explosion they blow so much shit up in this movie the surviving teens hatch a plan to get to the malls main computer and shut the killbots down that way and Greg and sensed by Suzie's death takes the lead that's gonna trash the fucker but that just gets him killed after he finds protector 3 waiting for him at the top of an escalator it grabs him and throws him over the third storey rally giving us a pretty solid stunt fall in this actual mall that leaves Greg dead and the kill bot able to use its catchphrase again in a fun example of how low this movies budget was the kill bots were voiced by director jim wynorski not because he really wanted to or anything they just didn't have anyone else to do it the killbots chase after the teens and even take escalators that were actually too narrow for their design in this shot you're looking at a crew member wearing a kill bot casing despite their mechanical disadvantage of being slow ass motherfucking robots they managed to catch up to the kids and shoot Alison in the shoulder as they make it into another store and shudder the gate behind that obviously that gate ain't going to shit though well the kids catch their breath Alison makes a real dumbass suggestion you know man we're all standing better chance we split up that Ferdie Vito's with vigor moment any one of us go out there were dead meat oh I forgot that shopping mall is a twofer everyone's real upset right now but honestly I can't imagine why I guess I'm just not used to being chased around a mall in the middle of the night by killer robots oh yeah that'll probably do it see what I mean about the almost meta tone it's so weird and wonderful as the killbots break through the kids decide on some kind of plan using mannequins but it's gotta be the worst fucking plan I've ever seen since it involves them standing among the dummies as protector three arrives for another shootout why would they stand right next to the decoy why would they do that Oh mammy kids are dumb I guess the reason they're standing there is so they can uncover these mirrors which reflect the killbots laser beams right back into itself that sends killbot number three into a robotic rage where it spins around firing blindly and raising the roof during its Berserker mode it hits Linda in the stomach and that one simple laser shot puts her down for good I mean we've seen these lasers barely singed skin and also blow up a freaking head so might as well have something in between right Linda's death causes Rick to lose it Amy hops on a comically undersized motorized thing and drives it very slowly into the kill by the crash if that's what you want to call it starts an electrical surge that spreads to Rick and kills him and uh hey that death is cool and all but could we get another explosion yeah good ol explosion next to a fake body on the ground doesn't get any better than this birdie and Nelson run off to find the kill bot computer and split up after all because hey this is a slasher from the 80s but they're reunited shortly after the last remaining kill bot finds Allison and she screams for Ferdie to save her he shows up quickly and shoots out protector ones visor and hey that actually works the kill bot chases the bird stir back out into the mall and after Ferdie throws a fire extinguisher at it protector one pulls the old I am rubber you are glue trick and knocks Bertie the fuck out cracking his head open on the floor Marilyn are you know they're not having a nice day robot shut the fuck up Allison our confirmed final girl flees from kill bot number one but luckily she stuck a flare down her blouse earlier on because that flare and some cans of paint from this balls Home Depot are gonna be the ingredients for one bitch in colourful finale Oh little actually making Superman ice cream soup protector one crashes through a glass wall to get to her and gets his stupid robot treads all covered in paint Allison gets out of the hardware store with actor Kelly maroney's slipping for reals on her way out and turns the kill bot catchphrase back around against her antagonist and with that we get our final giant explosion the kind to shoot with multiple cameras and use all the angles for which destroys protector one the third and final kill Bob Ellison recovers and glances over at the charred robot corpse and on her way out of the mall she finds that birdy has survived so high guess he just decided to sit that last robot battle I'll thanks for doing all the work Allison the movie ends with the two of them embracing each other in the courtyard which is followed by a predator style sitcom and credits that faithfully includes this clip for Suzy Slater that's great oh and for all of you post-credit enthusiasts yes there's a quick shot of a kill bot saying its catchphrase one last time how many kills did these killbots kill when these killbots could bot kill let's find out at the numbers nine people died in shopping mall averaging out to three kills a kill bot not bad the victims included six men and three women giving us a two-to-one gender ratio and with an eighty bt run time of seventy six minutes that comes out to a kill on average every eight point four four minutes you know the golden chainsaw for coolest kill is going straight to Leslie no damn question about it that chicks head blown up has been stuck inside my brain since I was a kid and I'll probably carry it with me for the rest of my life to all machete for lame his kill will go to Linda he took one to the gut and called it a day and that's it shopping mall had a limited theatrical release in 1986 under the name killbots and wouldn't find a cult fanbase until after its video release with the new tunnel chopping mall thanks again to loot crate for sponsoring this episode and until next week I'm James a Jenice this has been the kill cow thanks a lot for watching this week's kill count I want to thank some of my patrons like gambit PSN Carla Alexis Daniel Grimwood and Luke Wagner and of course one more thanks to Luke rate who sponsored this episode for me get that Luke fried whore box at Luke recom using the promo code dead meat I've been so afraid of this just blown up on me while I was filming luckily it didn't as long as you're watching this thanks everyone be good people

Channel: undefined

Views: 4,478,489

Rating: 4.948287 out of 5

Keywords: horror, dead meat, movies, scary, films, kills, kill count, body count, james a. janisse, jaj, pine commander boogie, slasher, sci fi, science fiction, robots, killbots, robot, killbot, mall, shopping mall, roger corman, jim wynorski, julie corman, kelli maroney, tony o'dell, john terlesky, russell todd, dick miller, barbara crampton, suzee slater, head, lasers, cult, eating at raouls, cheesy, weird, gerrit graham, DMKC

Id: gWB5l2AhbWU

Length: 20min 12sec (1212 seconds)

Published: Fri Jan 18 2019

Reddit Comments

[u/ROBOT_B9]

THANK YOU. HAVE A NICE DAY.

[u/Khalbrae]

Great job Channelbot!

Chopping Mall BTW can be legally streamed on TubiTV! for free! (Ad supported)

[u/bmeridian]

I love when James makes prequel memes

[u/Esquilax21]

I am generally surprised he didn't mentioned his 2 million milestone in some way or form

[u/FriskeyVsWorld]

I was sincerely hoping that you were going to keep doing the “ro-but” pronunciation and I got depressed that you didn’t. So a 9.9/10 video. :P