Child's Play (2019) Review - YMS

so I just saw the 2019 reboot of child's play and it was bad now I've watched at least the first four of the other child's play movies at some point in my life and I never really remembered them as being anything all that special there are plenty of cheesy and ineffective moments in the original film especially during the action scenes I watched those films when I was in my teens and I guess that those elements stuck out to me in my memory more than anything else so when watching this newest film I was not really expecting to feel disappointed by it in any way but as the film progressed and I realized there were so many decisions that made it so much worse in comparison I decided to watch the original again after coming back home from the remake and I gotta say watching it as an adult gave me some newfound appreciation for this movie the action scenes were still very silly and difficult to take seriously but aside from the action scenes it was clear while watching the film why it worked so well especially from watching it right after this shitty reboot now in this newest film I found myself thoroughly enjoying the first maybe five minutes it was kind of interesting to see where they were going to make this a more modern take on this story essentially it starts out like some sort of black mirror episode the doll in this film is now some sort of electronic device that can interact with everything in your smart home it's a decent setup and I was excited to see where they went with it but pretty immediately things start getting really stupid apparently they found it necessary to ditch the whole supernatural element from the original film in the original film a psychopathic serial killer criminal is dying in a shootout and he uses some sort of Voodoo chant to transfer his soul into the doll as he's dying and yeah that's dumb that can't happen in real life I get it and after watching the original film again I was glad that they at least followed up on why he knew these voodoo chants in the first place but despite how stupid it is it's still much better than what they went with in the remake basically in this newest film we see the dolls being manufactured in an Asian sweatshop and this low level employee that stares off into the distance for like two seconds starts getting harassed by his manager so out of some sort of spiteful vengeance he presses some buttons on the computer next to him and removes the safety features on this smart doll and now the dolls evil I guess first of all how is this low-level assembly line sweatshop employee able to do this right at the same desk that he was putting it together from why would he be able to change those settings in the chip at that point in the production anyway the whole set for this sweatshop looked really cheap and fake - compared to real life the factory was pretty barren anyway the biggest issue with this was not what this employee was able to do it's the fact that the way you've written this prevents the doll from having any character throughout the film you're supposed to believe that every evil thing this doll does is just because of some sort of fundamental misunderstanding of what will make his friend happy basically the doll and prince himself on to the main child actor and then from that point on he's like okay I'm gonna do whatever you want to make you happy and then through some sort of monkey's paw wish upon logic he just winds up killing things damn Chucky this guy's such a jerk I just wish he would disappear you know that sort of stupid thing and despite mark Hamill's best efforts with his voice acting it just seemed like such a [ __ ] waste the doll has no character in the original series he was a manipulative psychopathic serial killer in the original series the doll had motivations there was an actual character there that was interesting there was a sinister element at play with what was going on in the mind of this doll and now that's just gone supposedly just for the sake of removing supernatural elements to make this film more modern which as a business decision doesn't even make all that much sense considering many of the top grossing horror films of the past ten years in the original film there was also a very threatening power dynamic between the doll and the child in the original movie the kid was like five or something and the doll was about as big as him but in this film the kids a preteen there's no reason why he shouldn't be able to overpower the doll there's no reason why he shouldn't be smarter than the doll plus there's no manipulative serial killer behind the doll anyway in the original movie he got the kid to bring him to a location to kill somebody he manipulated the child and it was interesting but in this movie is just a defective smart-home product nothing interesting is there in the original film the child tried to communicate that the doll was alive and the adults didn't believe him obviously the same thing happens in this film but once again it just doesn't work the age of the child and the original makes it believable that he wouldn't be able to properly articulate everything he means it's also more believable that the adults would believe that he's just imagining things but in this newest film there's just no good reason for any of it when bodies started piling up the kid should have gone to the cops but he didn't like even near the end of the film they just don't go to the cops for no reason it's all poorly justified and poorly written in the original movie the characters went to the cops right away the original film actually gave a [ __ ] about its characters but in this new film they don't put in any effort at all and the only aspect that makes it somewhat watchable is the fact that it tries to be a comedy and it's nice that it doesn't take itself way too seriously but in terms of being a comedy it's still bad and poorly written Aubrey Plaza was probably the best part of this movie her character was stupid and I couldn't take her seriously but she didn't really try to make it a serious character at all it just felt like kind of a joke and I guess that that's what they were going for so that's nice as this story goes on it feels like they just forget about elements that they wrote into it earlier the mom traps Chucky and a glass cupboard and is like no he's gonna stay in here I'm not gonna throw him out for some reason he's just gonna stay in this cupboard because you'd yearn you can't handle this doll so later the kid finds Chucky outside of the cupboard with broken glass everywhere and they just never follow up on that from the perspective of the mom like the kids got the doll now and you're looking at him playing with the doll didn't you tell him he couldn't have the doll and that it would stay in the cupboard aren't you gonna ask him about the broken glass or the fact that the cupboards broken what's up with that a movie just forgot I guess now when they started with the concept of this doll being able to control smart-home devices I was pretty interested to see what they would do with it but it felt like kind of a waste of a concept by the end of it at one point Chucky uses his smart-home abilities to disable someone's air bag and seat belt implying that a car would be on the market where you can disable the air bag and seat belt electronically is that a thing am I wrong here it seems really stupid at one point Chucky controls a bunch of toy drones and runs them into people slicing their necks open but drones can't do that hoyt drones are pretty [ __ ] fragile aren't they apparently the propellers were made of titanium razor blades or some [ __ ] if you're going to remove the supernatural from the film then why would you throw in so much [ __ ] that doesn't make any sense those toy drone deaths were less believable than someone performing voodoo magic they just did not give a [ __ ] about this script at all now obviously there was a lot of interesting marketing for this film many of the posters were essentially parroting the Toy Story franchise the composer of the score released a smooth mcgroove style video of one of the songs and it seemed like the film would have at least decent music but even that was just so poorly handled it wasn't used in any way where I could actually appreciate it it was really manipulative and overbearing there was an overabundance of chief jump-scares literally one of the jump scares was just the mom walking by the camera hmm there's nothing scary about what we're showing so let's just add some really loud orchestra hits ha ha you got startled that's the same as the movie being scary it is so [ __ ] lazy and watching the original right after this was a breath of fresh air the few jump scares that appeared in the original were much more respectful the startling sounds were actually coming from the film's universe and not independently of it the music in the original was also great and very appropriately used this remake is just really really lazy and bad and I'm gonna bring it back to the doll again because this film is broken at its core when you take away the supernatural voodoo element for the doll being evil and you keep it grounded in reality supposedly then it creates a situation where the doll shouldn't even be a threat at all if they just further explored the whole smart-home manipulation concept and there would be plenty of opportunities for Chuckie to kill people without being super strong but instead this doll being sold on the market to children apparently has enough strength to be stabbing people and strangling animals how on earth does disabling these safety features on the chip make it super strong that doesn't make sense just [ __ ] kick it you're also much bigger than him in the original film it is also still pretty dumb but at least you're able to say yeah it's just voodoo magic [ __ ] whatever why is this doll so strong if there are no supernatural elements at play here the design for the doll in the 80s also made so much more sense there were a lot of creepy looking dolls that were for sale on the market at point in time whereas the design of this new doll in this current year just makes less and less sense everybody in America wants this in their home that's creepy as [ __ ] get the [ __ ] out of here oh yeah one last thing that really pissed me off when you reboot a popular franchise from the 80s the impression you're giving is that you're kind of trying to keep the original audience in mind and this film had a great opportunity to be using animatronics for their special effects but instead they just took the laziest route possible and outsourced the dolls facial movements to some computer animation departments which wouldn't be all that bad if it looked realistic at any point but it looked fake as [ __ ] the entire time every time he moved his mouth it's like yep that's a computer the doll doesn't feel real it has no character it has no motivations there's no interesting power dynamic between the doll and the child the first film essentially had us experiencing the events through the perspective of the mother character but now in this film the mother is just some [ __ ] idiot that nobody could relate to instead we experience the film through a shitty preteen actor that was much less believable than the [ __ ] six-year-old in the original film even if we completely removed the original film from existence and judge this remake on its own merits independently it's still a poorly written poorly acted annoying movie with a bunch of jump scares and shitty characters none of the deaths were satisfying or interesting almost every single character that dies in this movie is written to be as unlikable as possible how am I supposed to care about anything it was all just really lame like I said I wasn't expecting to be upset or disappointed by this movie at all especially because I never really considered myself to be a fan of the original films but watching this new film definitely gave me some newfound appreciation for the original in fact the best experience of watching the original child's play might be to just watch it directly after this piece of [ __ ] because holy crap it really puts things into perspective as to what works and what does not work anyway this remake was pointless and shitty and stupid and annoying and I don't know why I expected anything different and I'm giving this one a 2 out of 10 [Music]

Channel: undefined

Views: 810,618

Rating: 4.8829842 out of 5

Keywords:

Id: ivR8EkM-1hM

Length: 11min 14sec (674 seconds)

Published: Thu Jun 27 2019

Reddit Comments

[u/_asteroidblues_]

So this movie is just Small Soldiers but worse?

[u/brillodillo]

i enjoyed the film as much as I enjoyed the Halloween reboot from last year, it doesn't come close to being as good as the original but at least I had fun despite it being dumb as hell

[u/Foxythekid]

Surprised he didn't mention that Chucky learns to kill by watching a supercut of death scenes from Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2.

[u/chrosTV]

Honestly, this review doesn't sound as negative as a 2 to me.

[u/RobbiePwns]

One of the few movies that I personally enjoyed and Adum didn't.

[u/duca-b]

I think this was the first 10/10 I’ve ever seen him give

[u/darkavatar21]

I was baffled by people saying they enjoyed it. Without Chucky having a character, it was just about an AI killing people, which isn't interesting anymore. And it didn't make sense how it could be a threat. I think if it wasn't connected to the original franchise, the people who said they liked it would have criticized it more.

[u/mizterPatato]

Thank god, RLM review was so tame I thought I was in the minority on this. Movie was so boring imo and doesnt do justice to the franchise as a whole. Still better than Seed of Chucky tho.

[u/Ethlandiaify]

I love how Adam felt the need to knowledge that a man transferring his soul into a doll via voodoo magic is dumb and wouldn’t happen in real life. I don’t know, think it’s funny.