Children, Obey your Parents - Ephesians 6:1-4 | The Mission Church

so you may know that I come from a relatively big family I'm one of seven kids I have three brothers and three sisters and by the time that I was 19 I was already an uncle and from that point from my my first niece up until my oldest was born had ten nieces and nephews and so by the time that our first baby came I thought that I kind of understood the love of a father for a child the responsibilities of that I deeply loved all of my nieces and nephews I I want to be part of their life I wanted nothing but good for them I'd be willing to die for them all these kind of things but my wife got pregnant and I think was 2010 and I don't know about you but they made me wait nine months to meet my baby and people told me it's gonna go so fast lies it was the longest nine months of my life every day come in from work and I'd look at Lord I'm still pregnant okay my goodness what's going on we waited and waited and waited mine patients finally paid off because we barely made it to the hospital in time I brought Laura to the hospital dropped her off at the at the front went to go park the car I came back and she was gone I'll say when I Frank his wife and they're like oh she's already up she's in the delivery room right now doctors in there go go go and so I got a cup of coffee sat down oh I'm kid I went right to the room got in I walked into here the doctor saying we can see the head oh my goodness and our oldest Bethany was born and that was 2011 and I'll tell you my assumption that I could understand the kind of love that a parent has for a kid by just thinking of it as like a uncle niece nephew kind of relationship was was blown to bits I fell deeply in love with my first kid and all of them since and so I'm blessed right now to be a daddy of five beautiful healthy babies and each one reminds me daily of the love that God has for his adopted children I'm very grateful for that I know many of you have had similar kinds of experiences and you know that amazing the kind of love and care and attention that you have for your kids and then III think by spy observation for Graham kids just amazing to watch this play out foundational for Christians concerning children and concerning parenting is Psalm 127 verses three through five want to read this out loud for you behold children are a heritage from the Lord the fruit of the womb a reward like the arrows in the hand of a warrior are the children of one's youth blessed is the man who fills his quiver with them this is my Christians love love having children see doesn't honor to be parents and this is why we pray together for those who are trying to conceive Lord Lord gave him the blessing of having kids because we seek it we want it and this is the way that we view parenting I want to go to Ephesians chapter 6 this morning we've been we've been in Ephesians for a while and we finally gotten to the final chapter this is part of the household code where Paul gives specific instructions in the home of how Christians ought to live with one another and today we turn our attention to the child parent relationship if you have your Bibles you can go to Ephesians chapter 6 we're gonna be in the first four verses which I'll read out loud and then we'll go back through and spend some time through each of these verses children obey your parents and the Lord for this is right honor your father and mother this is the first commandment with a promise that it may go well with you and that you may live long in the land fathers do not provoke your children to anger but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord let's pray lords we turn our attention to children parent relationships I pray that you would help right now by winnowing through raking through our hearts our minds our thoughts about parenting and childhood and you'd you'd help us to remove anything that ought not be there in our thinking let us lay bare our hearts our minds before your word on this help us to to align our lives and thinking to what you have laid out and not seek to make your word affirm what we hold to be true so the Lord teach us how to submit to your word in this very hour we pray this in Jesus name Amen verse 1 of this chapter begins by saying children obey your parents in the Lord for this is right parents are given authority over their children by God not primarily as a relationship with the child should a parent be thinking of their kid as a peer but as one over whom they are to practice Authority as a youth pastor I learned that the immediate and expected response to this kind of verse from from young people particularly teenagers was way in everything and everything what do they command you to sin there has to be some way to get around the obedience commanded and expected of the young person to their parent and of course it's important to say that all authority under God that exists is derivative Authority that it's derived from God doesn't stand outside of God it comes from God and through God that means that in every sphere where we are commanded by God to submit that submission is qualified as subordinate to you our submission to God in other words we are commanded to submit to Authority in our life unless that Authority commands what god forbids or forbids what God commands and it really is just that simple it's not exhaustive but it is meant to be seen principally as pretty broad reaching now certainly many parents have sinned in this way they've not done right they have forbidden what God has commanded parents have done that and parents have commanded what god forbids additionally some parents are straight-up abused or neglected their children and this is wicked in the eyes of the Lord but all of these things being true do not nullify the principles that God gives us in his word Colossians 3 20 it's kind of a parallel passage this Ephesians 6 it says this children obey your parents in everything for this pleases the Lord so children if you're if you're to ask kids real real quick right now those living in your parents home if you were to ask yourself why should I obey my parents the ultimate the primary reason you should obey your parents is because it pleases the Lord that's why that's why I submit to my parents not because not just because it gets me good things in the home not just because I can avoid disciplinary action and punishment that comes from that not just so that I can I can have a relative level of peace the highest priority the reason that you should submit to your parents obey your parents it's because it pleases God okay so it would make God happy for me to obey my parents this is right it is right for children to obey their parents so child's right behavior is demanded but Paul goes further than just activity verse 2 says honor your father and mother this is the first commandment with the promise that it may go well with you and that you may live long in the land here Paul's instructions go beyond mere activity just behavior - attitude he tells us to honor father and mother this means to respect treat with dignity that's what honoring is leviticus 19:3 Old Testament says this every one of you shall Revere his mother and his father Revere this is honor respect offer dignity to think well of now you and I can imagine and have most certainly experienced a young man or woman reluctantly or apprehensive ly obeying his or her parents with a bad attitude right seen this certainly you may have never done that in my home we have this is um we did we didn't come up with it I've heard this from other Christians many time for we even became parents but this idea stands true we teach our kids it's kind of back and forth in the moments of our particular explicit disciplined training moments we ask them the question how should you obey if your ask any of my kids that they'll respond right away by saying right away all the way with a good attitude it's the only appropriate response their house hadn't that often times we're reminding them how should you obey right away all the way with the good attitude that's right that's not where - oh babe that's not where don't obey god that's the word to submit to our authorities that's the way that children's to submit to their parents it's not just about behavior kid could theoretically do all the things that were commanded of him with an eye-roll and that would not be honoring to God now Paul did have not just draw this out of thin air he didn't invent this idea certainly not this is a direct quotation of the fifth commandment back in Exodus chapter 20 in fact if you look at the Ten Commandments you'll see that the first four Commandments specifically relate to our relationship with God they refer to the way that we relate to God and the last six Commandments relate to the way that we interact with other people and the first of this second table of the law that that deals with our relationship with others the very first of these Commandments is honor your father and your mother this obeying your parents kind of idea is foundational for human relationships it is the most fundamental commandment regarding our relationships with people it's the first thing that we experience in regards to others is how we relate to a parent now if you're to read through the Gospels Matthew Mark Luke and John you'd find that this exact command is repeated in red letters Jesus words five times five different times you'd see in the Gospels at least a couple of different interactions that Jesus had with people he quotes this and each time with with full authority expecting that this is understood to still stand for us but Paul here includes this parenthesis see that one there honor your father and mother oh this is the first commandment with the promise that it may go well with you and you may live longer in the land God had promised to be with the Israelites and is giving the Ten Commandments providing for and protecting them as they answered into the land that he had prepared for them but this promise of blessing as a nation was on the condition that each subsequent generation of Hebrews remained faithful to God and pass God's law along to their children it's gonna go well with if you teach your kids these things and you teach them to submit and obey you and then obey the law that I have given you it's gonna go really well for you there but if you don't teach that to them if you don't if you forsake your responsibility to instruct them in the ways of the Lord it will not go well with you they will be fodder on the fires of the enemy what happens over and over and over an Old Testament history but Paul doesn't pause right here he doesn't just give children his children somebody should do he he quickly turns his attention to parents provides instruction for the parent verse 4 says this sorry I'm pushing buttons too fast fathers do not provoke your children to anger but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord why do you think fathers are singled out here you notice this in fact if you look back at the last two verses what you'll see is he says children obey your parents both are included father and mother here in the Lord for this is right honor your father and mother you says both and here he says fathers do not provoke your children no I don't think that this means that mothers it's okay go ahead and provoke your children to anger but it does lay this charge primarily at the feet of the fathers fathers bare primary primary responsibilities in the home it's the father is given chief authority in the household to ensure his children are not being provoked to anger but trained dads in the home and parents together but dads even more so you're a picture of God to your children we want to prepare our kids to relate well to the firm authoritative and gracious love of God we want that for our kids and the way that we deal with our children will directly influence the way that they're going to relate to God in fact it's gonna be really hard for them to go around that many of you might even have personal experiences too that affect you that you grew up in a really blessed home great parents who pointed you to God and disciplined you rightly and all these types of things it's probably a lot easier for you to relate well to God as a good father but if you didn't have that in your home then it's probably a lot harder for you anger do not provoke your children to anger you also only one of two places in the entire New Testament that uses the same exact word for provoke your children provoked to anger but its meaning is not obscure it's pretty pretty clear to us don't cause anger don't produce anger don't don't frustrate don't exasperate your children earlier in Ephesians chapter 4 Paul warns believers to not allow the Sun to go down on our anger it's actually comes from the same root word here likewise Paul is concerned that our children not be led into anger James says this really well in James 1:19 30 20 he says let every person be quick to hear slow to speak slow to anger for the anger of man does not produce the righteousness of God the likelihood that your anger boiling up inside of you is gonna produce good things just pretty low this is true for kids as well Paul contrasts what the father should not do don't provoke your children anger but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord earlier in Ephesians also I brought this up in weeks past Paul doesn't just say stop doing something he typically says don't do this instead trade it for this trade up and what you're told to do so he tells don't speak falsehood chapter 4 don't speak falsehoods big truths he's telling the thief don't steal be generous he says don't don't tear down with words build up and contrast these things together it seems to me that the way that Paul has in mind that a father might provoke his children to anger is by not doing the following bringing them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord in other words if we don't do the following things or I'm going to continue on with the rest of the sermon I think that the second half of this verse instructs us to do we don't do those things we will certainly provoke anger frustration exasperation and our children so here's what we're gonna do the rest of the sermon from this point forward we're gonna walk through three practical parenting essentials we get from this text now I'm gonna tell you one is implied and two are very explicit and I'm gonna try to stick mostly at a very high principle level here for our benefit and the first thing that I'll state I think we can get from this flow of text is this be an example for your children this is the one that's implied and the reason I think that it's implied here is that all of the instructions for Christian living that have happened in chapter four through five precede this command so if you're if you're walking through the book of Ephesians you're trying to grow and learn you're already being challenged to live in such a way before you even arrive at the command to what children ought to do even the instructions for husbands and wives that he just gave in the verse previous to this are given without respect that children at all so in other words a married couple ought to be observing these commands before children even enter the picture that's the way that marriage should look a picture of Christ's love for his church then enter babies that's that's the goal that's the ideal but if you need more help to see why I see this in chapters 3 4 & 5 particularly chapters 4 and 5 of Ephesians where I get this from I go right to Ephesians chapter 5 verse 1 the beginning of that chapter and it says this therefore be imitators of God as beloved children we are to see God and as his beloved children imitate what we see in him and in the same way our children will be imitators of us your children will imitate you they will we'll imitate you and few things should scare you more than that have you ever seen that who ever watched it kid where did they learn oh oh oh my goodness you know I love you see if you see things in the world things in the news things in our culture and they may alarm you I get alarmed by what goes on in the world out there and the world is crazy it's wicked the things that are happening are just absurd that the the the the rate at which our world is sprinting into madness is faster than I think I could have perceived was possible and I think that we're rightly concerned about the kind of influence that the world will have on our children and what will happen to our kids out in the world I think it's an it's an appropriate concern to have but the forces at work on our kids lives that we should be most concerned about are not those outside the home but inside there are all crazy things outside your home get for a substantial period of time typically the youngest years of your child's life you will have significantly more influence than anyone else you are the primary influencers in your kids lives if you're a parent whether you like it or not it's just that's the way it is you are going to be an influencer they're going to imitate you you'd be an example for them we've heard it said more is caught than taught I think it's a very true statement and nothing is more clearly perceived and quickly learned than hypocrisy we say one thing and then we don't do it I think as parents we need to model the things that we're supposed to be doing before the Lord that our kids would see and learn and grow from those types of things now certainly we're gonna fail certainly we're gonna mess up all the time and how critical is it for parents to build into their relationship with their children a way of repentance and what I mean by repentance is that when we do something wrong and our kids observe it for us to acknowledge it say hey you know either way the way that mommy and daddy were talking last night wasn't okay and I didn't lead very well and I did not honor God and then I was selfish and acted Prydz when I was wrong with me not only did I sin against God first and foremost it's sin against your mother but not not being loving like I should have not and I sinned against you and leading you wrongly in that we forgive me for that you need to build this in practical thing also I think I think I think it'd be wise for parents to tell their kids about their sins with wisdom with wisdom so so when do you think that it will produce goods and not bad so I wouldn't tell my my eight-year-old sins that I committed when I was 18 but I might tell my eight-year-old sins that I committed when I was 10 as a warning and daddy daddy's a sinner I need the gospel I think as parents we need to be eager to submit to right Authority to demonstrate obedience where we ought to obey and the police officer pulls you over for speeding and you're sitting there with the kids or the way that you talk and act to that authority and the way that you talk and act after you drive away it's gonna be really important you know daddy broke the law daddy has to obey and I didn't and I should get in trouble I not be snarky not be belligerent but I made a mistake you teach our kids these things you know one of the key hopes not the ultimate keel but one of the key hopes of parenting is that we would work ourselves out of a job in other words that is a child in dependence increases the exercise of parental supervision decreases as your child grows and becomes more independent the areas in their lives where you will actively exert supervision will necessarily decrease so you teach your kids to use the potty by the time that they're curious on you don't go in there anymore why because you know they don't need supervision in there anymore my one-year-old needs supervision all the time my eight-year-old not as much I don't she knows how to take care of the bathroom stuff now right it's of course this is gonna work out for us but modeling being an example for our children never ceases in fact for many parents of older children adult age children you know this is one the only ways that you can influence your children and in some cases unfortunately it's the only way but don't underestimate how much guidance you can offer your adult children by way of example I think of proverbs chapter 20 verse 7 the righteous who walks in his integrity blessed are his children after him so it would make sense that that the the amount of modeling or example that they they see that they witnessed that they observe will be greater when they're living in your home but I think the principle for modeling and being example maintains even when direct management and supervision as over little children fades be an example to your children number 2 discipline your children little bit of the passage again to show this to fathers do not provoke your children to anger but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord discipline of the Lord now I know that I'm a young father and I'm only a few laps into this parenting marathon and I hold that very closely so so this last week I actually reached out to several trusted families who were a generation or so older than me grandparents age and asked them what do you observe to be the most common pitfall in younger parents and almost immediately without hesitation and very very soundly certainly each person said discipline was all clothing wasn't even like a like a hiccup wait are you sure are you sure discipline I heard that word many dozens of times in these conversations in this past week try to fit so this is what you're observing is young parents struggle with and are falling into error in discipline discipline you know as Christians we believe that every single person who exists is a sinner this is foundational for us this means that our children are naturally predisposed toward evil as are we one of the most fundamental restraints that God has I'm the evil that dwells within our wicked hearts is the disciplining of parents you are the authority over your child designed by God to be the first line of restraint to teach them what is right this is utterly critical for children to learn when I use the word discipline what I what I'm saying what I think the Bible means by the word discipline its various uses Old Testament a new reproof correction reward punishment I think it's those kinds of things this very practically speaking this means even in the punishment regards this this is the timeouts this is this is gets kid getting grounded maybe removing of privileges and yes physical discipline spanking proverbs 13:24 says this whoever spares the rod hates his son but he who loves him is diligent to discipline him I want speak for a moment to the parents of younger children I know there are many ideas about parenting in our world today and many of them are very unwise they're just utterly fallacious and one of these unwise ideas that we ought not physically discipline our children instead we should reason with them try to reason with the two-year-old why they should count to three explain to them why throwing a tantrum is not preferable okay the Bible says that a parent who refuses to apply the rod in the discipline of his son hates him and you got it you got to go toe to toe with that verse note here that Solomon equates rod with discipline whoever spares the rod hates his son but he loves him is diligent to discipline him apply the rod it's a certainly physical discipline from ribs 2915 says the rod and reproof give wisdom but a Child Left to himself brings shame to his mother you know what's amazing about the Proverbs is we always read the Proverbs we go yep right because they're truisms you you read these you're like yeah yeah if it's like when you hear somebody put into words something you known to be true and it's helpful yeah that's the right way to say it so Solomon does over and over and over and over again in the Proverbs the rod and reproof give wisdom but a Child Left to himself bringeth his mother yeah that's exactly what we observe it's exactly what plays out notice here the rod and reproof are two different things they're not the same the reason I bring that up because some people go well discipline just means whatever way you decide to help train your kids if it's just talking to them that's fine no reproof is one of the things and the rod is another thing and both of them give wisdom to a child look look look here this is not opinion-based this is not conviction base this really is one of those things that as a as a parent of young kids and as a pastor I've observed so many different times in ways look Lauren I've tried helping parents who said I'm struggling with my kids are out of control I don't know what to do we say we'll do you spank him no we're not going to do that well I can't help you then if you won't bring in to bear one of the most fundamental ways by which God has given for you to help your kids succeed I can't help you this is why I'm spending time on this all bunch of Proverbs 29:17 let's let's move forward to verse 17 this thing came out to chapter discipline your son and he will give you rest he will give you delight to your heart so as a command to discipline again well rich couldn't discipline just mean talking it out with your kid explaining it to your kid No verse 19 two verses later says this by mere sorry by mere words a servant is not disciplined for though he understands he will not respond master-servant relationship you would you discipline your servant same way you would a son he's not their son but you would discipline him that same way in this Old Testament context and he makes it really clear here mere words is not discipline that's not the same as this is not gonna work it's not gonna produce what is designed to produce words are insufficient for discipline they're necessary they are critical if you're the parent who's too quick to spank we need to we need to go back to the scriptures and read about the grace of God patience of God the slowness to to jump especially in wrath and anger praise the Lord for his is patience over us and those things and yes I think we ought to hear words many times from parents I think we could utilize all types of different disciplining strategies but has to include spanking you are not permitted to come up with your own plan for discipline you're not fathers do not provoke your children to anger but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord you don't get to bring him up in the discipline of your own making you're only authorized by God to raise your children in the discipline of the Lord that's what your authorization is given to not the discipline of the age not dr. Spock not even dr. Dobson God God instructs us how to discipline our kid he is mind-blowing to me that some Christians think that it's appropriate to abdicate responsibility in this area I did I ate to serve you in this because I'm telling you you're going to regret it God is good and he cares for us this discipline is designed for us to demonstrate our love to our children and it is our responsibility to own it and if you don't discipline your children when they're young someone will eventually and it may be far worse for them I hate spanking my kids if you like spanking your kids that's a problem but we discipline our kids because we love them oh I have to show this to you because this is so pivotal when it comes to discipline Hebrews 12 5 through 11 says and have you forgotten the exhortation that addresses us sons my son do not regard lightly the discipline of the Lord nor be weary when reproved by him for the Lord disciplines the one he loves and chastises every son whom he receives this means that our example in administering discipline is God it's evidence of his love for us this passage continues it is for discipline that you have to endure God is treating you as sons for what son is there whom his father does not discipline if you are left without discipline in which all have participated then you are illegitimate children and not sons this means that discipline is so universally expected that the Forsaken is to forsake your child this same fester continues on besides this we have had earthly fathers who disciplined us and we respected them shall we not much more be subject to the father of spirits and live for they disciplined us for a short time as it seemed best to them but he disciplines us for our good that we may share his holiness for the moment all discipline seems painful rather than pleasant but later it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it discipline trains and it is painful not discomforting not not upsetting painful need to be consistent with discipline not not for a day not for my every people say before I've tried spanking my kids and didn't work what do you mean he didn't like it for the moment all discipline seems painful rather than Pleasant look you haven't tried it unless you've done it for years consistently if you pick if you feel compelled to particular okay this is way we're gonna try to deal with this behavior problem we're gonna commit to this kind of discipline don't change it in a week unless it's clear it's not correct consistency sticking through things parenting is a two-handed job it's not one of those things you can kind of do over here while you're busy on your phone it's a all in all hands on deck type of thing it's not for the lazy it's not for the idle it's no room for that and discipline is designed to produce something as a Marine veteran and then became a youth pastor and eventually a pastor of adults I I've had many conversations with parents who have observed a lack of discipline in the life of their child and reasoned that perhaps the military would provide discipline for their son or their daughter so they've seen faults they're like man I failed miss I didn't do it well maybe they became a believer later and started realizing these things too late and they're like man I'm sure okay maybe that's a good idea for them because they don't have discipline so the military will give them discipline you know it is true that the military provides a place where there is discipline but it does not necessarily produce self-discipline do you know the difference between discipline and self discipline discipline depends on external forces to maintain order and self discipline relies on internal forces to maintain order in fact discipline is what happens when you don't exhibit self discipline this is why some young men enter the military without self discipline survive while they're under direct supervision but as soon as that supervision is removed they fall right back into undisciplined behaviors in life that's why they didn't learn self discipline they were put in a place where they had to obey this is kind of like when a prisoner goes to prison they may not break any laws while they're in prison but then get back out and break lots why because they are under supervision they're being disciplined there but they haven't learned self-discipline if they have them rehabilitated discipline is good it is good it is good discipline is a good thing but self discipline is better one of the goals of discipline is that it roots itself in the heart and life of the one under that discipline and it blossoms into self discipline our discipline goal as parents is to cultivate in our children self-discipline so through to the spirit the point of spanking your kid is it something you won't have to do it anymore because they'll align to what it's right and it doesn't have to continue any longer that's the idea last instruct your children instruct the verse said father's do not provoke your children to anger but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord note this is not just instruction there's a lot of wonderful things that you can and should teach your kids you should teach them to eat brush their teeth you should teach him to drive balance a checkbook throw a ball you teach them wonderful things and you should should love that but nothing is more important and to teach your kids the gospel the instruction of the Lord God's law truth our goal is not just well functioning members of society we want God worshipers and that's going to take the instruction of the Lord the discipline and instruction of the Lord Deuteronomy 6:4 through seven says this this is one of the most famous parenting passages in the Old Testament in the whole Bible because it gives us a clue of how and when this should play out forgive me this is not clicking well here o Israel the Lord our God the Lord is one you shall love the Lord your God with all your heart with all your soul and with all your might and these words that I command you today shall be on your heart you shall teach them diligently to your children and you shall talk of them when you sit in your house and when you walk by the way and when you lie down and when you rise that's all the time what what might you do that wouldn't fit in there and all that you're doing you're looking for opportunities chances to actively preach truth share the gospel point them to God's Word this is gonna take a lot of time wasn't long long ago that I realized that I was adding disciples regularly and by this point I have six disciples in my home who are my highest priority and human beings on this planet Laura Bethany Gabe Naomi Maura Kayla highest priority is for me to disciple those six that's gonna take a lot of time it does and the only way for me to begin doing what God demands of me in that is that I set my heart to prioritize the discipleship of my children to make the most out of the time that we have and to be very intentional about it very specific and direct there's this there's this wonderful idea of teachable moments there will be moments in your life when something will happen you'd be like object lesson time teach something take advantage of all of those a then there should be more not that we just passively wait for things to have and when they do respond but that we would bring and begin the lessons we'd say kids come over here I want to talk to you guys about something sit down what is the word generous mean and teach your kids truth teach them the Bible teach them it's our guide and your kids ask questions about life answer with the Bible well you know the Bible says we know God God told us you know there's a story jesus said once and when you're a parent who constantly roots truth not just in your opinion not just in something you saw on the news or read in some random book somewhere but God says it's so powerful but Bethany is the age starting to realize things about the world more and more and recently she asked a question about civil rights movement she had saw that in a TV show or movie or something usually but I don't get that what is that much like well there was a time in even our country where people would not permit people black people to marry white people and to spend time with what was awful she was why did that happen and I said because they did not obey God because God made it cleared it was that we are image bearers of him regardless of what we look like on the outside and man didn't obey God that's why this happened and we can never let that happen and all of those scenarios you bring it back to the Lord not just well your so okay so there was the south and there was the north and there was no no God said it's wrong and we broke the rules that's why this happened want to help our kids see the root of all things read her age kids you got kids who read especially younger age get men you should expect they read the Bible they Davey you should read the Bible with your kids daily every day every day read the Bible with them they're actually wonderful resources out there eating kids Bibles I think just the Bible is awesome way with even your littlest kids but they make these awesome Bibles I teach you how to walk them through gospel and Bible stories take advantage of those things point in the little colorful pictures and the comic books of all of it and your kids grow teach them more and more about these things you know expect your kids read the Bible okay well you can go outside after you finish cleaning your room and you read a chapter of Scripture maybe something like that and we do that about homework we do that but everything else oh man we should she point our kids to the Bible instruct our children bring the gospel to bear and discipline this means that as we bring the law and the necessary punishments that have come with it Bethany didn't know beggar you're gonna give to have a timeout you're not gonna get to watch the movie during family movie night tonight well you don't you don't get dessert like you want a dessert because there's all kinds of ways that we can bring discipline to bear with our kids but we also bring the gospel clearly this means that sometimes we have moments where my kids deserve some kind of discipline occasionally we'll say to them I'm gonna give you grace what do you deserve today here's a spanking or a punishment or losing privilege you deserve those types of things but today I want you I want you to hear this I want you to feel grace I want you deserve that but today you're not gonna get it sparingly those show them grace this is the way the Bible works we want to give the gospel to our kids every time we can and here's a startling and sobering reality that all parents must accept even in spite of all the best discipline and instruction you cannot save your children but Jesus can my favorite Bible stories with Jesus is when Luke 8 tells us that he was doing ministry and had a man run up to him name was gyruss synagogue leader and he comes in for Jesus and he tells and his daughter is dying I just think like this guy right he's powerless to save his kid there's nobody's gonna do and he hears about this Jesus guy healing people but but I can't bring her because she'll die she has to stay in bed what does he do he goes to Jesus he goes to Jesus on behalf of his child and he falls down please save her I can't but you can I think it's a lesson for all parents bring your children Jesus bring two needs you have for your kids to Jesus pray like a broken record Lord say my kids use me teach me to discipline them rightly teach me to instruct them rightly but God do a mighty work I can't make their hearts love you please act plead for the lives of your children before God pray for their salvation and it won't get stale there's some things that happen to life we're like Mack say the same thing over and over I gets boring no this does this one doesn't literally nothing more than I want in my life from the salvation of my children that they would glorify God land a plane here so I conclude very practical parents ask for help ask for help your parenting needs help if you're gonna go and have to replace some circuit panels in the circuit circuit panel of your house like electrical stuff and you had a good friend it was an electrician you'd be a fool to not call Gide have them on the phone as you got your hands in the box okay how much more so parenting enlist trusted people in your life to observe and report on your parenting now I know I know many people today treat parenting like a competitive sport I do it better than you do it you did this you hear listen that's not the way that we deal with these things as Christians but it's frustrating to me that sometimes even this taboo of don't tell me how to parent has invaded the Christian world with people I know what I'm doing I got it like I know I don't hey you can tell me anything you think I need to know but I like but don't you dare tell me I'm not parenting well don't you dare tell me my kids acting like a brat don't you dare tell me that I'm not responding rightly to those types of things it's isn't it it's crazy there's like a few areas of our lives that we defend more ferociously than that one yes Laura now the other night I was saying hey so preaching on parenting I was just wondering you know what now that you got your fifth baby here now what would you counsel to younger women women who are your age and younger maybe heading towards having babies or maybe just started that out what would you what would you want to say to them and without skipping a beat she said you know nothing and the reason she says is because a lot of times we still feel that way a lot of times we feel like we know nothing I don't have a sufficient understanding I owe goodness I wish I knew more I wish I was wives are here and every once in a while some new situation comes about that you're like I didn't see this one coming Christian humility demands that we don't get all up in arms about someone telling us how to parent our kids we should crave that so that last Friday night I had our small group together and I had offered the challenge that we had proposed previously and the the sermons about marriage that may be needed to a marriage check up just check in how our how's the family doing I think that might be wise for us to do the same thing in small groups with with parenting I think here's what that looks like we go to people and say listen BAE step on what you observe what am i doing well and what am i not doing well and then wait for it and be sincere and receive it and be like I I really want a parent well and I I know I don't have all this figured out and I know sometimes I'm too close to the forest to see the trees we step back and we ask others commission those especially those who are older and wiser than you and more experienced I've been down those paths some people have done wonderful job with parents and they give you all kinds of good tips and hints and other people have done things they look back and they go man I feel like it really messed up how much more can they offer you great help and warning and caution about things that you may run into that would not be wise ask for help in this regard and be humble about it I want to go ahead and conclude our time by praying this morning and here's what I'm gonna pray for them and tell you what I'll pray for before we do is I'm gonna pray for our kids for our children to learn submission and obedience I'm gonna pray for our parents that they would rightly discipline and instruct their kids and be a model for them I want to pray for single parents who have it doubly hard but they have to figure out ways to do this when they don't have an other right there next and helping them work on these things together we have a soft heart for that and the Bible Bible not only commands it but Christians get eager to step in and help we're single parents are trying to do the right thing and raise their kids well and lastly I want to pray for mothers who are women who are not yet mothers and praying to become that I want to pray that God would would open the wombs of the women in our church and you'll ever hear this that they're seeking to have kids because they know children are a blessing they want it be a mom and and dead the man wants to be a dad they they want to experience that together and want to pray for for all of those things so if you'd close your eyes and bow your head will close that way father I just thank you so much that your word is clear about the types of things that we need greatest clarity on but we need the kind of clarity you give us in how we should discipline our kids instruct our kids model life for our kids because it's so important you didn't leave us to wonder I'm not sure what the Bible says about being a parent what's so clear Lord and there is no greater example than you and you give us that perfect example order day I pray for our children I pray that you would you would help our children becomes missive obedient respectful honoring young people as they grow that they would become honorable respectable self disciplined well instructed adults who glorify you who worship you with their lives father help our children grow up in that way father I pray for the parents amongst us Lord that the parents and even grandparents would would not only own the responsibility but then being able to navigate through the difficulties in this world of trying to do those things rightly Father give give all of the the people in this church body a supernatural benefit of the doubt offered to other parents a slow to judge response when they observe things and other kids and other parents but there's so many different kids personalities there's so many different dynamics about homes that make things difficult I am grateful Lord that you gave us these giant principles that we can lean into but that we don't have this legalistic list of things that must be accomplished that I know that each home looks looks different help us to be slow to judge but quick to help the Lord that when were asked that we would step in and help one another father provide help for my family help me help me keep my children submissive that I may I may remain qualified as an elder at this church but I know that it's a qualification my children go go crazy and wild and disrespectful and begin operating in such a way that shows that I'm not managing that household well Lord I I wouldn't be able to even leave this church Lord we need your help to do that because our influence while is great is limited and we need your help as we try to parent well father I also pray for the single parents here Oh Lord my heart breaks for single parents here and and those that met in other parts of my life and it's so difficult just to parent well and to think about what that must be like when you have you have the parents present to do that or maybe even worst Lord when you feel like one maybe divorced parent is against you in succeeding in this oh Lord we're gonna pray that you'd give us a special sensitivity to that a desire to step in and help where we can and even and even even slower to judge that kind of thing and a desire to be be patient and and do whatever would please you to help that family father and also I pray for those in our in our church home right now who desire to be parents who eat for that Oh Lord I pray that you'd open the wombs of women in this church I pray that for those that are seeking adoption but Lord that you would you would pave the way and make that possible Lord I know that it may not be in your will for some people to have children and that is in your hidden wisdom that we don't know or understand and we receive it Lord but we also know that we are instructed to to petition to ask you with great Thanksgiving Lord please provide this blessing to these people Lord in your timing father let us be consistent and persistent in doing that on our knees father we thank you for your word and it's clarity here we pray all these things today in Jesus good name amen

Channel: The Mission Church

Views: 298

Rating: 5 out of 5

Keywords: Children, Parents, Obey, Submission, Obediance, Discipline, Should I discipline my children, Christian ethics, The Mission Church, Utah, Ritch Sandford, South Jordan, Riverton, Kids, Kids Sermons, Sermon, obedience, family worship, instruction, Bible, Ephesians 6, Household Code

Id: EGO1UkLCWDk

Length: 51min 13sec (3073 seconds)

Published: Mon Mar 11 2019