(gentle upbeat music) - I'm Matty Matheson, and
today on, "Just a Dash," guess what, Rang? - Go ahead, say what you have to say. - It's my birthday! So it's my birthday. (camera clicking)
(children cheering) (children screaming) And I wanted to share it
with my best friend, Rang. - Thank you. - [Matty] And we're gonna make a homemade chicken finger sub. - Matty Matheson, goddammit! The best in the world. - You know, cooking at home really- (record scratching) That sounded like an airplane. Is that an airplane? - No.
- There's a murder hornet right behind me. (ominous music) - Perfect, oh my God. Literally. Jesus Christ. Rang!
- Rang, no! - Oh my god, it's going
over by the records. Rang, go hunt it. - [Rang] Oh my god, he have a fucking nest in here, Matty.
- Can you see it?! - Oh my god.
- Can you see it? - [Rang] Yeah, it's a nest
in here, you piece of shit. - Let me see. (demonic voice speaking in tongues) Oh my god. (demonic voice speaking in tongues) (ominous music) (gentle upbeat music) Rang.
- Yep. - Okay, let's make a show. I'm gonna yell, like,
hey, I'm Matty Matheson, this is "Just a Dash." And then you can say, "Hey, I'm Rang." - I'm here to try to help
you put something together. - Yeah. Can you think of
something funny, maybe, to say? - Like what? - Just something funny. You're funny. - [Cameraman] Rang doesn't
like when you yell. - You don't like when I yell? - No. - (distorted) I'm Matty Matheson! - Why do you have to
fucking yell in my ear? - I'm not yelling! Happy birthday. - That's it. It's smooth. Like a... - Can you sing me "Happy Birthday?" ♪ Happy birthday to you ♪ - I know that you love
chicken finger subs. - No, I don't. - You don't love them? - Why would I like chicken fingers? - We had one before.
- Yeah. - You didn't love it, but
then you grew to love it. - I pretend I love it. - Well it's my birthday. - [Fly] Yeah, come on,
Rang. It's his birthday. - Let's see if I like it, see if it change my mind this time. - 'Cause you didn't
like it the first time. - No, I'm not crazy about chicken finger. - [Matty] No. - I think that's kid's. - I wanna show this first. My favorite chicken finger sub is literally made at the gas
station called Robo Mart. People are probably
gonna say I'm gonna die if I keep eating these
fucking chicken finger subs, I'm gonna die. Guess what? I'm strong. I'm healthy, okay? Talk
to my cardiologist. I've got perfect blood
pressure, not high cholesterol. - You're too handsome to die. - Okay. I love chicken finger
subs, and I love Rang. - I love you. (ominous music) - [Matty] What is that?
Is that a murder hornet? - They that big hornet,
they're not normal. - [Matty] What do you think? - They're huge.
- Yeah, right? - I haven't seen them that big before. (hornet buzzing) (Matty screaming)
- Rang, no! Oh my god. - It's gonna go tell its buddies. - [Rang] No. - [Matty] No?
- It's just afraid. A lot of them in Vietnam. They make a lot of the
mud nests in the house. - [Matty] Yeah. - I know them well. I know them well. I kill them all. The nest like that, they suck up the mud. Chew, chew, chew, chew in the mud, and they spit around the full nest. They leave it there. They take a little needle.
And they needle you deeply. They're like a tattoo. - Yeah, it keeps going. - Mm hm. You ever see like that? - No.
- You don't wanna see that. - So what do we do? - So what do we gotta do to make it? We gotta make our own chicken fingers. - I saw two chicken breasts
there, nice and fresh, yep. - We're gonna make a blue cheese sauce. Really it's very basic. So the first thing we're gonna do, we're gonna batter and
bread our chicken fingers. We're gonna make chicken fingers. We got three cracked eggs. You whip those up, you whip those up, you whip those up really
nice, nice and smooth. Make it smooth. I don't wanna see any egg whites in there. It's perfect. So we got dry, wet, dry. All purpose flour, then
just some breadcrumbs. I'm gonna just slice our
chicken breasts into three. - Look at chicken foot. Why do you think chicken finger? It's cut like a chicken finger. - Yeah. Do you wanna put salt on them, maybe? We should probably season them. We gotta make 'em good. Right, Rang? - Yeah. All about seasoning, right? Okay. Are you on? - The oil is on. I'm taking the temperature of the oil. So that's at 209, okay. And, um... I've got my laser. (thermometer beeps) - [Crew Member] Don't. Don't, you can- (camera crackles)
(thermometer beeps) - Does that blow it up? (nervous music) - [Crew] You can break
the sensor. Don't do that. - [Crew] He did. - No way. - [Crew] Yeah, it's broken. - What, actually? - [Crew] Yeah, it fries the sensor. - Oh, you have to
recalibrate it kind of thing? - [Crew] I don't know
what the fuck it does, nobody's ever done it. - [Matty] It's really stressful, 'cause this whole production,
it's like, it's my baby. - [Crew] Chef Rang came all this way. - [Matty] I shouldn't have shot a laser into the lens of the camera. - [Crew] Yeah, no one's stupid enough to fucking do it. - Are you guys fucking around, or no? - Did the camera really fuck up, that's it?
- Yes. - Maybe we can FedEx it to Canon? - We can use the iPhone? - Fuck. - [Matty] You know when
you finally realize that you fucked up? I was like, "Okay, I
fucked up" in my brain, and then my body, you know
when you feel that gut, that remorse? I, you know, I'm a human. I'm a nice guy. Why are you shaking your head? Someone's shaking someone's head? Are you guys fucking with me? - [Cameraman] Sorry, this
is kind of a big deal. - And I think that's when... the betrayal... - [Crew member] All right, Ben's lying. Ben's lying to you.
(Ben laughing) - No!
- No. (Matty screaming) - Just really ruined my... I'm trying to shoot a chicken... It's my fucking birthday! The entire crew kind of teamed up on me on my birthday of all days. There's a lot of episodes. Are you serious? I'm like, shook. - [Cameraman] It's a light
sensor, it can handle light. - Well we don't know that. - What do you know about equipment? - [Rang] It's a camera. - What do you know? - It's just turn on, turn off. - Right.
- Thank you. - I feel shit. Now I'm gonna have to get out of it. - Yeah?
- To do what? Make stupid chicken fucking fingers... Make a fucking stupid... I don't even care. - [Matty] All of 'em.
- [Rang] All in together. - [Matty] All of 'em, all of 'em. - [Rang] Yeah.
- [Matty] All of them. Snakes slithered together. They didn't even have to say anything. - [Crew member] You can break
the sensor, don't do that. - He did.
- Yeah, it's broken. - It was a symbiotic rise of aggression. I legitimately just feel like... (thermometer beeps) He's too hot, he needs to get out of here. He's got fucking COVID. - [Crew Member] Happy birthday. - [Crew] Happy birthday, Matty. - [Crew] Happy birthday. - [Crew] Happy birthday.
- How the fuck. - [Crew] Happy birthday.
- [Crew] Happy birthday. ♪ Happy birthday to you ♪
- [Rang] Can't get mad now. ♪ Happy birthday to you. ♪ - Andy, sing it.
♪ Happy Birth... ♪ (equipment crashing) - [Matty] Fuck! - [Rang] He's real... Wow. We're gonna do what we're gonna do. - Yeah, here you go.
- Okay. You can dust it! Dust it, dust it! - [Matty] So you just fucking, you put, you move the fucking chicken around, and you fucking put it in here. - [Rang] Flour, egg
wash, bread, bread crumb into a shallow pan fry. - [Matty] And then you
fucking put it in here. - [Rang] Put it in here.
- Fuck you. - Right. That's all right, that's all right, baby. We're still all right.
- Yeah, fuck me. - We're still all right.
- Fuck me. I just feel sad, 'cause I
thought I ruined his job. I feel like crying. - When was the last time you cried? - Last time I cried, honestly? - Yeah. - Probably when I
watched "Tag" on a plane. Have you seen that movie?
- No. - It's about like five friends. - [Rang] Yeah? - Just no matter what
gets in the way of life- - Okay.
- They find a month a year where they play tag.
- Yeah. - It's about true friendship. - [Rang] What's a tag? - I'm literally trapped in a fucking room with murder hornets and
Camera B, so perfect. So chicken fingers, all
you gotta do is first- If it comes close to me,
Rang, you gotta kill it. - Don't worry. Stay
there. Stay, no, no, no. I got it, I got it. (demonic voice speaking in tongues) (gentle music) - Fuck this guy. - [Crew Member] That's a trash movie. - Tag's a trash movie? 'Cause you don't know what friendship is. "Tag" is a beautiful film
about fucking best friends. Can we just fucking get through this. Okay, chicken fingers. When you're down, you don't kick 'em. You lift 'em up. - Thank you.
- Right? - Like we do.
- Yeah, exactly. Not like this fucking redneck fuck. Your vaping rights are removed. Trisha was like, "Make sure nobody fucking
vapes in the house." 'Cause there's nothing worse than somebody that vapes, period. (oil sizzling) I don't wanna look at Ben's. You take- (stomach growling) Oh my god, his stomach's
fucking blowing out. Ya hungry? - Yeah, I'm hungry. - Okay, well let's get
through this, shall we? So you just wanna make chicken fingers? Everybody knows how to do it, okay? Everybody knows how to make
fucking chicken fingers. - Yeah. (Matty screaming) - [Matty] Have you ever seen me that sad? - [Rang] No, no, no.
- I literally don't ever think I've ever been that sad.
- Yeah. (Matty crying) ♪ Happy birthday to you ♪ But-
- But. - We turned it around. - We turned it around.
- We did, we always did. - Rang!
- Yeah. - We're gonna make a sauce.
- Okay. - This is an episode about friendship! That first half was an episode about how not to treat your friends, and now we're back to the regular program! This is my best friend, Rang! It's my fucking birthday, and we're making fucking
chicken finger subs! Fuck camera B! Fuck camera B! Fuck camera B! It's my birthday! - God damn it! Nothing's
gonna bring him down! Master Rang is here! (Rang spitting) - Right.
- Thank you. - Now put the butter in there. - Put the butter in here. - [Matty] We're gonna do Franks in butter. A little salt. - [Rang] A little hot sauce- - [Matty] A little bit of
fresh cracked pepper in here. - [Rang] The flavor. - [Matty] And then you know
what we're gonna do, Rang? Check this out. We're gonna take a little
bit of the hot oil. Splashed it into the
pan, stirred it around, kind of emulsified it a little bit. Even though that that's not even melted, guess what we're gonna. - Put the chicken finger in it. - That's right.
- [Rang] There you go. - [Matty] Coat it up. Boom.
- [Rang] Yeah, that's it. People always try to bring you down. - They don't realize how nice I am. - You could be somebody. - Yeah, I know.
- Yeah. They tried, it didn't work. - It didn't work. Okay, Master Rang. - [Rang] Talk to me, baby. - So we got our chicken fingers ready! Now let's make a sub. Wait, we gotta make the sauce first. - The sauce. Cheese. - Put the cheese in there. - Put the cheese in here. - [Matty] Put the cheese in here. - [Rang] Why can't we just
make it from right here? - Sounds good to me. I
like that. (laughing) Okay, we're gonna add some... Yeah, fuck it. Is this whole episode just interruptions? - Yeah, very special. - Do that.
- Food safety thing. It's your birthday.
- It's my birthday. Fuck it. Okay, so we're gonna do equal parts. - [Rang] Thank you. - [Matty] Tory, let's pull it back. We're done over there.
- Yeah. - So we've got blue cheese, mayonnaise, equal parts sour cream. Let's start mixing that up. We're gonna put some fresh
cracked pep in there. A little lemon juice will go a long way. - [Rang] You can't go
wrong with goddam lemon. - Let's taste it. - That's tough as hell lemon. Chicken finger and lemon,
they do get along well. Yeah, there's something there.
- Mm. - There's something there. ♪ Happy birthday ♪ ♪ Happy birthday to you ♪
(vape pen crackling) (Matty sighs) - We've got some beautiful onion, we've got some tomato.
- Tomato. - My knife is not sharp enough to cut a fucking tomato. - Try this one, try this one. - Obviously my knife's not start to cut- - [Both] Whoa! - [Matty] So I like to cut
my tomatoes really thin. Okay, nice shaved lettuce. Okay? - They laugh at us. - They're all snickering at us. They think that they're, like-
(Cameraman exhales) You're not allowed to exhale! Revolt! This fucking guy. And then, and then, and
then Ben, and then... - [Crew Member] Just be careful. - Oh my god. - The laser will come right back at you. (electronic buzzing) - [Matty] He was, I've never, you know... He went for it. - [Crew] I think there's a
concoction of issues here. - There's a concoction? There's a concoction of issues? - Yeah, you like "Tag"
because that's about growing old and losing your childhood. It's your birthday and you're making something to do with your childhood. So you just got some
issues about growing old. (revelation music) You're just turning into a
crazy old man in the kitchen. - [Rang] Whoa. Whoa. You all right? (melancholy music) - [Matty] Happy Birthday to you- me! - [Distorted Voice] Someone one said, we don't stop playing because we grow old. We grow old because we stop playing. - [Crew] And you're acting like a baby. - It was like I had one
here, I had one here, and then (stabbing). Shanked by a vape, like
a little mouth fedora. I'm like, completely- - No, he got us, he got us.
(Matty laughing) - He didn't get us. First of all, not a baby. Second of all, I really
like, just, friendship, nothing to hold against me. I don't have to be an isolated sociopath that fucking lives up in
the fucking mountains. - Oh, he live in the mountain? - He lives up in the mountains, that's why his girlfriend left him, because he doesn't care about anything. He has to have control, so
he buys these broken things and has to fix them, and tend to them, and neglect the people that love him. Do you see that when
you look into his eyes, do you see like a human
or do you see, just like- - He seems like a lonely man.
- [Matty] Yes. - That live in the wood.
- [Matty] Yeah. - By himself.
- [Matty] Yeah. - [Rang] And he fix up
the old pickup trunk. - [Matty] Yeah. (melancholy music) Why don't you buy another
broken down vehicle and try to fix it, okay? - [Crew] Why don't you
age another year, Matty. - I'm literally, we're all done. That's how you live. - Make me my lunch. (Matty laughing) (Matty screaming) - You're not taking a bite. You're not taking a bite. I'm gonna eat all of it
so you can't have any. (gentle piano music) So this is how you make
a chicken fingers sub. Okay, Rang. Let's make the best thing
sandwich we've ever made. - Everything is all right.
- So get a store bought bun. I like to take a little bit off the top, so it's not too much bread, and we get a little more
action inside the sandwich. Then what I'm gonna do is I'm
gonna spread the blue cheese. ♪ Making my sub ♪ ♪ It's my birthday sub ♪ Okay, So chicken finger.
- Yep. - [Matty] Just nicely
place it into the bun. - [Rang] This is how. - [Matty] Chicken finger, nicely. I'm gonna spoon a little more.
- Sauce. - [Matty] Doo, doo, doo. - An average asshole can make this. You don't have to be a
professional chef like us. - [Matty] No, we're very professional. Look at your shirt. Look at your shirt. - [Crew] Even camera B could make this. - Even... - Don't, don't-
- We don't even need to talk about fucking camera B. Yeah, yeah. Fuck him. - Yeah. - So-
(hornet buzzing) (ominous music)
- We can't even talk. - We can't even talk,
'cause we're fearful. Camera B literally just
completely unpacked my childhood for me really nicely, so that was great.
- Yeah. - [Matty] And then we put pickles. - [Rang] Yeah.
- Right, we love a... Pickle? - Pickle can't go wrong. - [Matty] We put some tomatoes. - Yep. - And then we've got a little onion, iceberg lettuce, hot peppers. - We each run from the bee. - Yeah. (hornet buzzing)
What the fuck? Oh my god.
(hornet buzzing) Now we push it in, right? And we close it up, and then
you cut it right in half. - Oh.
- Right? And that's for you. (horror music) It sounds like it's everywhere. Do you see how it is? Look at that, did you smell it? - Yeah.
- Smell it? Smell it.
- The red, the blue. - The peppers, the vinegar, the onion. More people need to share. - Yeah. - And it's my birthday, and I'm sharing with my best
friend my favorite meal. - Thank you. And you may not have loved it at first, but guess what, we've grown. I didn't love you at first. - Can I toast to that? - I love you.
- I love you. (smacking lips) - Happy birthday. (both chewing) (Matty shushing) - [Rang] Mm.
- Wow. Look, follow it. Where does it go? - [Crew] It goes under the records. - [Matty] It goes in the records? (ominous music) - Okay. - You're not dusting. Sing "Happy Birthday" one more time, just to make me happy. ♪ Happy birthday, happy birthday ♪ ♪ Happy birthday to Matty ♪ - [Rang] There might be more than two. - [Matty] Yeah, there's more than two. It's a nest! Oh my god. Do you see that nest? I guess I haven't listened
to the records in a while. Fuck. - For you, Ben. Dickhead. It says you get the bee guy.
Now you gotta kill the bee. - [Matty] We gotta get
a vacuum or something? - Yeah, just suck it up. - No, we'll blow torch it, and then I got the fire extinguisher. - Making a mess. - I know. Trisha won't get mad. Buffalo chicken fingers
sub, best friend, birthday! With me and Rang. - You can't just say
anything. It's too much. - [Matty] And how great was
that chicken fingers up? - [Rang] I don't wanna tell you. It's so amazing. The way we make it, it's so hard. Right off the fucking, like, deep fry. And the B-cam look at us... jealous. You have nothing. - [Matty] Oh, you're a best friend. - [Rang] Or pickup truck. - [Matty] A broke down lawnmower. If you weren't here and it was just me. - [Rang] They would. - They would have eaten me alive. - [Rang] Yeah, they would.
They'd try. They'd try. - Yeah. There we go. It's like a napkin. - The new wipe. - That mice, good. That's good. If you guys could just go
down into the comments section and tell me how much you
love me. I need it right now. - That you've got for sure. - [Matty] I'm like a golden retriever. I'll be happy in like five minutes. Watch it with your hands.
- Why not now? Why can't you say you love me? - I do love you. But you're covered in blue cheese. Sauce. It's gross. Look at that hand. It look like you're fucking... - I did it? (laughing) - It looks like you did it. Yeah. You ever eat it? - Oh no. I'm not sure we need to say. - You eat it sometimes? - No. No. - [Matty] We got a murder hornet nest. Do you have to like call the governor? What do you do? That's how you make a chicken finger sub! Happy birthday to me. Fuck camera B forever! All right. Have a great day.
(Rang kissing) - I still love you, Ben. - [Matty] Don't say I still love you. We have to stick together. That's- - I have a plan.
- [Matty] Don't you- wait! - No, I have a... I have
a plan. I have a plan! - [Rang] It says you get the bee guy, now you gotta kill the bee.
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Wasn’t sure what I was getting into, but I really enjoyed this.