-Chelsea Handler. Come on, you
can't beat an audience, right? -No, no, you cannot beat
an audience, Jimmy. -Thank you for being here
in person. I appreciate it.
-Well, I missed you. Desperately. No, no,
I don't miss you actively 'cause we're here together now.
-Yeah. -But I missed you during COVID,
but I got to see you a lot during COVID.
-You were very nice to me. You Zoomed in a few times
from your home. And I appreciate that.
-I was skiing. I was skiing in Whistler
when I was doing your show. So I would come in
from the ski mountain. You know, take my pants down
for the Zoom and then just have my ski top
on the top. [ Laughter ] -I didn't know that.
I didn't know that. Yeah. -I like to do all my Zooms
pants-less just to get men back for what they've done.
You know what I mean? [ Laughter ] -I heard that you're on
a new health kick. Explain this to me.
-Well, it's not a health kick. I'm doing a 30-day detox
from alcohol because someone called in
from my podcast. And she said she was having
trouble kind of detoxing and I said I would do it
in solidarity with her. -Oh.
-But I did a 30-day cannabis detox also, so now it's 30 days
of cannabis detox and a 30-day alcohol detox,
two separate months. So I've lost two months of
my life due to this podcast. [ Laughter ]
And I'm over it. I'm over it. I can't wait to have --
And my friend's like, "If you do 30 days, you're gonna feel so
good, you're gonna go a year." I'm like, "No, I won't." -Wow.
[ Laughter ] But I love that you do that
to your fans. I mean, I love the podcast. "Dear Chelsea" is the podcast,
and it's fantastic. If you love podcasts
and you love Chelsea -- -I give out advice to people who
actually want advice from me. I mean, I've been giving out
unsolicited advice a lot for a long time.
[ Laughter ] -So this is solicited.
-This is when people actually call in and they have
real-life problems or really silly problems,
but either way, you know, I like to encourage people
to be a little bit braver, a little bit stronger,
like a big sister who's like, "Go out and do that.
Leave that job. Leave that relationship. Do whatever you need to
make yourself like a little bit more
successful and confident." -Yeah, I love that.
-Yeah. [ Cheers and applause ] -That's one of the reasons
why we love you. But I think you're
just brutally honest. You're always honest.
and that's the best thing you can do because then --
clearly, you didn't even lie when we played the game
where you can lie. -No, I mean -- and you know how
I feel about games. -No, we didn't have to
get into it. -No, I'll get into it.
I can't stand playing games. -I know you don't like them.
I know. But I like to watch you. -But you force me.
-I don't force you. You could say no.
-Oh, can I? Can I say no?
[ Laughter ] -We probably wouldn't book you
on the show if you said no. [ Laughter ] Of course, you can do whatever
you want on the show, but I love watching
you play a game 'cause you don't like
playing the game. That makes it more fun to watch. -Yeah, it's fun to watch you
watching me struggle playing a game.
[ Laughter ] -Hey, I follow you on the
Instagram and all that stuff, and you posted something. I go, "That was so beautiful." You said, "I'm finally in love." -I am! I'm in love!
[ Cheers and applause ] -Buddy. Hey! -How cute is that?
-Couldn't be cuter. And, you know, every time you
come on we talk about something, about dating or relationships. You're in love.
-I know, and I have to say, if I fell in love at
the age of 46, you guys, I have hope for every person
in this world. [ Cheers and applause ]
Yes, yes. It's never -- It's never too --
I was really just kind of like, men were very discouraging
these past couple of years, especially, you know,
straight white men. And I was like, "Oh, God, who
I am going to end up with?" You know? And then I had my friend Jo Koy, who was in my life
for a very long time. He used to be on my old show,
"Chelsea Lately." -Yeah.
-And he and I were friends. And then he kept showing up
and showing up and showing up. And I was like, "Mmm-mm-mmm." [ Laughter ]
And then one day, I just looked at him and I thought,
"Oh, that's my guy." [ Audience aws ]
Yeah. So he's like my best buddy
and then I also, you know, get to have sex with him.
[ Laughter ] Fun times. So, anyone, if you
have a friend in your life that you think you're not into
or not attracted to, just remember my story
and to be open-minded, because little things can tap
you on the shoulder and then all of a sudden,
you see something through a different lens,
and I mean, I would never talk about a man
like this unless I meant it. -I love it, buddy.
I'm so happy for you. [ Applause ] And he's a brilliant comedian
too, so that must be so fun. -And I'm pregnant. No.
[ Laughter ] I'm not pregnant.
I'm not pregnant. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
-See? You know how the play the game. I want to talk about
your stand-up tour, "Vaccinated and Horny Tour." The name got a laugh
every time I said it. You always think of good titles. You're at the Beacon Theatre. -I'm playing two shows at
the Beacon this weekend. I'm doing Albany, Boston -- I'm
going all over to the country. And I'm announcing
more dates soon, and it's been so fun
to be on the road. -What's it like?
-Well, it's just like this. I mean, there is nothing
that replaces a live audience. So it's great.
[ Cheers and applause ] Yeah. -We need it. We need it.
Thank you for doing this. -Well, you're welcome, Jimmy.
The whole world is welcome. [ Laughter ]
-I really mean it. Honestly, we needed to laugh.
We need something to laugh at. -Yeah. We do, and it's so nice
to be a reason that people -- you know,
to bring people back together, many for the first time
in like a year or two. And so I named the tour
"Vaccinated and Horny" 'cause that's how a lot of
single people were feeling, and married people,
quite frankly, after the thick of COVID. Hopefully we're through
the thick of it. And then, so I'm still
vaccinated and I'm still horny, just now for one person
instead of the world. -There you go, yeah.
[ Laughter ] You're doing a very cool thing
that I thought was interesting for flight attendants.
-Yes, yes, yes. Flight attendants, you guys. We have to respect
our flight attendants. I was -- [ Cheers and applause ]
-Absolutely we have to. What is going on? -Oh, I don't know, but I got on
my first flight in a long time a couple months ago,
and the announcement that the captain had to make
over the loudspeaker was so embarrassing to society. He's like, "Okay, everyone,
please make sure your masks are over your nose, and when you
take a bite of food, you can lower your mask. And then when you're done
chewing, put your mask again
over your nose. Please do not hit or touch
the flight attendants." And I was just devastated
for them because I just thought, "What have we come to
that we can't" -- And these poor people that
become flight attendants, they're just, you know,
trying to have a nice job where they can travel
to fun places. Now they have to take jiu-jitsu and duct-tape people
to their seats? [ Laughter ]
-It's insane. -I mean, what kind of idiot,
moron gets on a plane and is like, "I won't do it.
I won't wear a mask." You know, as they're taping you
to your seat, what are you thinking?
[ Laughter ] You're like, "Oh, my God,
I can't wait till my granddaughter
sees this video." -I mean, exactly right.
But here's what you do. You step in and you go, "Hey,
if you're a flight attendant, DM me and I'll give you
free tickets to my show." -Yeah, yeah. So we have
a lot of flight attendants coming to all my shows. The Beacon especially
this weekend, I think we have 100 flying in from all different
places all over the world. So yeah, we helped --
If you're a flight attendant and you didn't get a ticket,
it's because we were bombarded. I'm announcing new dates soon and we'll try and get you
in the second round. But we are --
Yeah, flight attendants, we've got to give our love
to them. Absolutely.
[ Cheers and applause ] -I got to tell you,
every time you come on, you're the most fun person. We love you.
Chelsea Handler, everybody. Get tickets for
"Vaccinated and Horny Tour" at chelseahandler.com.
