Charlie the Unicorn: The Grand Finale

[Music] hello is anyone there i seek access to the tower yes yes someone is here it is i norwell a member of the order of tutelary weasels protectors of the tower why have you traveled here stranger i'm a researcher i've come to study the tower and its significance to some ancient texts well i guess i'll assemble the council then even though it's very late uh thank you god it's so dark and late i can wait until morning if it's more convenient i'm too late now i've already started the council assembly process here they come oh wow they're getting very wet and they look extremely tired sorry i'm sorry don't worry about it it's just a huge hassle i norwell chairman of the order of tutelary weasels noble protectors of the tower have called for this meeting of the council of the order of doodlery weasels to discuss the matter of uh what was your name again nix nyx the matter of nix who has requested access to that in which we have dedicated our entire lives to protect thus disrespecting our order and spitting on our very way of life i apologize i've come to complete my study i didn't mean to disrespect your order well you have you have gravely disrespected all of us should i leave then your request for early dismissal from council proceedings further insults this council and is denied okay tell me nix are you aware that this tower is possibly but not definitively extremely dangerous and bad yes i am well versed in the scrolls that describe this tower as a weapon of unimaginable destruction and you understand why it must be protected every hour of every day by an order of weasels i understand why it requires protection yes and you think it appropriate to circumvent that protection for the sake of anthropological study i have through my work come to believe that the actual danger may not be with the tower itself but instead something deep within the caverns below it you may be guarding the wrong thing [Music] i disagree so you don't even want access to the tower just the caverns uh yes technically well thank you for making me call this a council meeting for nothing we're the protectors of the tower if your request falls outside the scope of tower related matters then it is of no concern to this council oh great oh okay i'll head to the caverns then i shall escort you i keep my pottery projects down there and i don't want you knocking anything over if my research is correct there should be a large door of sorts directly below where the tower sits you know i've never actually been this deep into the caverns why is that i saw an upsetting looking bat down here once kind of put me off the whole place to be honest oh oh god there it is oh my god look at it oh geez tell me that is not an upsetting looking bat yes i suppose it is i can't believe it's still here that was years ago when i saw it go away get out of here vat oh i think i see the door this way how are you so unconcerned with this bat this is it it really exists geez louise why is there a door here and why does the order of tutelary weasels not know of this you may need to expand the scope of your protection dang it i'm gonna have to convene another council meeting and you must leave at once if what you say is true then this is weasel business now hmm i'll wait outside the tower but i would really like to study the door and its markings if your order will allow it we shall see now be gone thank you it is i norwell uh why i died i'm a phantom now what happened well the council convened and we all voted to open the door what we thought we'd find weapons to secure but what was in there was alive and it killed us and we're all phantoms now what what you should probably get out of here and warn the world that death is coming for everyone see if they can do something about that yes i'll get help there might still be time my god yep ah our bad ugh what hey do you hear that yeah it must be some kind of emergency oh hey charlie didn't see you there oh hey what are you doing nothing you know just hanging with the boys what boys oh my god what is why is there so much blood we all come from blood charlie blood is divine and pure okay so before you say a thing charlie remember this blood is yours what did that mean why is the blood mine hey we looked into the emergency it seems pretty serious seems like the kind of thing we should really uh check out you tried to kill me a week ago i'm not going anywhere with you charlie my sweet stallion my magnificent horse angel i know we have some trust issues and that's both our faults you literally tried to murder me why would we do that charlie that doesn't make sense no it doesn't make sense see it doesn't make sense charlie ah listen we don't have much time the weber wongal has been released no not the wobble wonk here's the mighty web whack back again the what the whack wonk it's coming for us all and if you've ever been witness to a wackawang attack you know it's no joke it'll be like that everywhere soon if we don't stop them i just want you to know before you force me along that i do not believe one single word of this nonsense even whack along yes especially that well you know what you're whack or wrong now let's go on an adventure and change our lives forever charlie that's me all of your thoughts and feelings are wrong oh charlie the unicorn have a seat please make yourself at home charlie the unicorn what are you doing inside of my house uh everyone is smiling but you've got to frown everyone is happy and you're feeling down that means the problem is inside your head or maybe the issue is your heart is dead i don't know how to deal with you when you're like this charlie the unicorn please come in sit anywhere you'd like charlie the unicorn not the good jacket off a bit you fool happiness is easy and quick to obtain sadness is just failure by some other name if you let misery in it will spread which means it's your fault every time you'll feel dread just stop feeling dread so there can be good times ahead well thank you for the advice oh is this blood also mine i don't know welcome to magic city city of magic hi i'm mayor slov that's right that's love before i was the humble mayor of this great city i was the humble ceo of slov industries the world's most successful generalized intermediary service providing employment for hundreds of thousands of low-income workers by providing those same workers to hundreds of thousands of labor-seeking customers in combining welcome employer employee please state your appointment authorization code oh uh slave yourself code accepted welcome nixon yx when i started slav industries they said to me how can you expect to build a successful company that doesn't technically do anything well they forgot about you they forgot about all your hard work they forgot the sense of community that arises when you're both employee and employer you sell your labor and you hire the labor of your friends all with the help of papa slov and now that slab industries in our great city are one entity that process is easier than ever so as both your mayor and your benefactor let me just say i'm very busy you have three minutes thank you for meeting with me mayor slov yes well i received your letter and found it quite sensational the thing that was unleashed i believe it may travel here to magic city city of magic uh what the city's name is magic city colon city of magic oh i'm the mayor these things are important anyway i believe the being is a sort of magic siphon gaining power from that question sorry to interrupt can we harness this siphon no i mean for money not evil money no go on your city has the highest concentration of magical beings in the world if i were looking for more magic to absorb this would be the first place i'd hit i think you're exactly right in fact i think they've already arrived really when a few hours ago they murdered me they what they murdered me and now they're puppeteering my dead body to speak to you yes it's true i'm a corpse puppet it's gross but electable what do you want oh you've already got that all figured out but it won't matter did you know the mayor threw your letter in the garbage look there's a banana peel on it that's hilarious are you going to kill me no no not you not yet i want you to watch everything fall apart including oh god charlie charlie [Music] are you done washing all that blood off your body no there was a lot of blood yes there was a lot of blood all over my body are you done now charlie oh whatever it's good enough deep breaths charlie it's okay that you're freaking out you don't know where you're going you're traveling with murderers on your way to best case scenario another murderer also you haven't eaten today at what point does this all stop happening god i could go for an apple or something it's hard to think i'm so hungry all right well gotta open your eyes at some point charlie gotta continue living this nightmare ugh is this rainbow of a dining car charlie look it's a lovely swan what a big beautiful boy sure oh my it's a sensuous golden eagles wow that is a bird look at those luscious big lips grazie an emu what a rare treat what's that big old boy doing up here you don't have to kiss me all right whoa is that the dreaded condor oh no be careful with this spicy girl she might she might what why did everything stop is this what she might do charlie my love my sweet starfish you're looking awful just really bad how are you still alive you need magic to survive what is to come okay i found this enchanted mollusk the last of its kind you must absorb it charlie absorb it and mollusk magic as yours i would rather not do that the mollusk and you must merge charlie you must fuse together like colliding stars oh oh yucky yes the mollusk is now part of you forever charlie you will never be rid of it farewell we shall meet again i love you more than ever yeah i'll see ya give you a big ol spicy kiss ah now you're married and you're gonna have a baby [Music] oh it's you yes and you i'm not waiting for you or anything i'm just dead and lost how goes the world magic city has fallen magic city city of magic has fallen bleak news indeed nearly everyone there is dead or a dead flesh puppet i feel like i don't actually want to hear about this that's fine i don't think i want to talk about it how'd you get a keyboard i was crying in the woods and accidentally scared an old musician to death his gear followed him into the afterlife and in the confusion of it all i just sort of joined it oh i've been going through a bit of a crisis i can understand that would you like to hear a song full disclosure i'm not very good and i don't handle criticism well sure why not i bought myself a coat a brand new shiny coat just the other day i went into the shop and saw this big coat hanging there and they looked at me with their smooth coat body and said i've led a hard life as a coat i'm not actually new i'm an old coat if i look nude it's because we are in love that's right you and me we're in love you in a coat me life can be terrible when you're a coat that's me i'm a coat and stuff spear rough but the wearings they're changing you're taking me home to a brand new life a better life i love you i still need a coat a normal lifeless coat one for me to wear i love my coat husband yes that's right we got married but still i also need a regular coat for inclement weather it can be hard when you're a coat and your husband is cold and there's no coat and you'd let him wear you around if you could but you actually can't because of the times of the witch curse that brought you to life which can be terrible without a coat like me i'm a cop and not one he can wear so the journey continues the journey called marriage and the janie calls shopping for some clothing the moral of the story is we're married and we kiss a ghost and a coat and it's fine it's great get out of here if you don't like it we do other stuff too that i'm not gonna talk about but that's it that's the song that was lovely norwell and uh i'm a coat i don't have a name well the song was lovely thank you oh hey magic city city of magic fell you know anyone there my father is dead hey charlie yeah how can you be sure that you are you excuse me uh-uh [Music] how do you know that you are you i don't understand the question how can you be certain you aren't someone else i don't know because i like my memories and stuff don't you remember the snowman oh yeah they gave it your horn they gave it your kidney what else did they give it what are you saying the sad gray unicorn known as jolly died out in the snow the snowman then was given charlie's memories and continued on in his place what no it's all been the snowman since then it's all been the snowman wait a minute that's the choo-choo show that's before i even saw the snowman oh yeah my bad welcome sea city city of the sea awaits just go in the tube just go in the tube just go in the tube welcome welcome see city city of the sea awaits just go in the tube go in the two please welcome please please please just go in the tube just go in the tube just go with it all right welcome knicks nyx i am susannex empress of sea city city of the sea it's just nix excuse me my name is nix nick no nix nyx knicks nyx have you been enjoying our visitor center we make sure to keep it stuck with all the amenities land walkers love like bottled water paper little fires it's lovely but i'm afraid i come here on rather urgent business oh my well by all means urge away i'm here to warn you about a powerful destructive being that has been set loose upon the world are you talking about the spinning cube thing uh yes oh they've already been here and it's all sorted i i can't believe it how they were perfectly reasonable they gave me a hundred thousand gold coins and the promise not to attack sea city city of the sea for ten years in exchange for all our geographic and surveillance data ah it's win-win baby a win-win what happens in 10 years we die i guess but that's in 10 years plenty of time to spend all that gold i don't even know how to begin where'd you go you didn't even take a little fire with you oh wow look charlie uh it's the temple what the what sort of temple the temple of the cat meow meow meow meow meow any cat in particular i guess i'm gonna meet the cat let me tell you about the fateful day a unicorn named charlie arrived in a big fuzzy temple a temple so out of the way that no map i've seen has ever even drawn it in a state of a funnel many clip clop clipped towards the fuzzy pantheon when suddenly a figure all shrouded in shadow and intrigue opened up their eyes and said [Music] he was led inside the temple by a figure who he thought might very well be the one and only wonderful cat as previously mentioned in the story well as a clip club clipped his way through the fuzzy temple chamber room there was a flash of color that a cat appeared right before his eyes and with a big cat smile they said [Music] myself [Music] charlie said heard oh let's watch a picture but as he looked at that magical cat and as he looked way back on his own quite miserable catless life he knew he'd be clip-clop clipping the rest of his days at the temple of the cat and his unicorn hair has been covered in cat hair ever since all done no returns be well meow good work charlie you discovered the saboteur i did was it the cat no charlie it wasn't oh charlie honey bun i bring more magic for you to consume is it gross magic it's mucus from the enchanted flesh orb mucus from the enchanted fleshly yes my lamb it's the most powerful mucus in the world you know what sure whatever toss it in me thank you charlie you shall become mighty with mucus magic wow that feels terrible i will see you again soon my heavenly dove see you later starfish me i'm the saboteur [Music] jacques wait what were we talking about i've secretly been working for the weather dab how could you we had a life together are you gonna kill me now or can i go home but i've learned something on this trip i've learned that the web web is no good not in this economy no good financially speaking i'm very tired begin to expl uh i've got them the researchers here in the magnesium don't tell them about the conspiracy conspiracy surface dwellers aren't supposed to know this but space is full of bugs and we quietly run the world well that was a secret the time for secrets is in the toilet zoopy dang zimmi's down what's happening the glowing cube thing is killing us us the bugs there goes threats what do you know about the cube well we know it can reach space that's something we didn't know a half hour ago have you just been watching it kill people i mean we didn't like that it was killing people we didn't want to interfere because it was scary and there goes buggy the bug why have you brought me here i'll take the cubes here before i die don't tell the researcher about the owls what are you not supposed to tell me about the owls oh uh owls are actually bugs uh they're here too i always knew this day would come i just kind of hoped i would get strangled to death i guess beggars can't be choosers when it comes to getting murdered yep all right goodbye everyone look now that most of my people are dead we need to come up with a plan to fight this darn thing owls are bugs yeah they look a little like birds but actually they're bugs but that is not important right now okay you're the researcher who is at the tower when that cube was released right how do you know about that owls ah yes that was me well then i'm ordaining you head research bug because our researchers got all i mean that's them all around us you can see we should head to the tower where this all started i never finished my research and i think it's important that i do sure why not let me just put some of these dead bodies in the garbage first oh my god what whoa well would you look at that are they all right sometimes heads come off okay [Music] oh that's a lot of goo lataku why is that happening why does anything happen oh god see it's all fine are you okay [Music] you realize you don't need to go to these lengths to make me uncomfortable i'm always uncomfortable close your eyes charlie why is something gonna happen yes something wonderful close your eyes uh all right [Music] i want you to picture a circle can you do that for me sure now i want you to imagine that circle's in a beautiful meadow why not you're feeling very relaxed here in this meadow with your beautiful blue circle the circle's supposed to be blue ah you didn't tell me to picture a blue circle it should be blue charlie well it's not what color is the circle it's just white oh no charlie get out of there what get out of there charlie whoa whoa whoa there's something in the circle charlie open your eyes i i can't why can't i open them oh i'm so sorry it's getting closer what do i do i don't know this wasn't supposed to happen oh god oh god charlie charlie i just realized something what you're looking at my butt hey i got some boba well i've just seen some things what do you mean i went looking for food and found a walk-in freezer full of sliced up voles oh geez i'm not going to deny that we indulged in forbidden pleasures of the flesh i only asked that you consider the context what's the context we were very hungry and voles are easy to deceive hmm yep you must be norwell i must be yes what are you two doing here bug business which is none of your weasel business what what does that red wheel do you know what i have no idea we turned it once and the tower made sounds so we all pick each war to never touch it again why are you thinking of touching it the cube was locked away below this tower could the tower be what trapped it you mean what if the weasels were right all along no it found us we're out of time oh dang okay i'll try to buy you a few minutes by buzzing around or something thank you krell there we go those are the sounds terrible yucky hey tips hey look up here person your bug friend is dead already i killed him instantly without even thinking about it why am i still here i don't want to watch this i guess i'm protector of the tower i should probably stay right yeah yes dave you've done a great job so far buddy hey you killed me you can't harass me too that sounds like loser talk i see you've turned the tower on for some reason do you know what it does i have a hope okay so you don't great well get ready whoa hey i got a little friend now i knew it never break a pinky swear hey you should grab a body too then we can kiss i don't understand that's a portal to where i was born here i'll show you uh see you later so i'm not 100 sure but i think if i push you into the portal you'll explode and die that could be funny but why that's a big question why do we find anything funny what is a humor i guess we'll never know well goodbye nyx i love you wait wait we're here charlie our magical journey's at an end wow it's all very nice it's time for you to meet the woo charlie hey you're here to see the wobble woo here is the last of the magic i could find it's a foot charlie there's no other way to put it it's a magical foot yep that's a foot all right and now it's my foot come there is someone you must meet is that the wubu what never mind spirit i have returned oh great this one isn't dead already he's alive and beautiful and i love him with all my heart is he magic who are you a ghost are you magic i have a magical foot inside me and some mucus and a mollusk that's probably not enough but we'll give it a shot okay give one a shot starfish you've done very well i'm gonna need to end your enchantment now as it must be goodbye my honeysuckle goodbye i'm going to send you through a portal my current theory is you need to be sufficiently magic to survive entry if you're not magic enough your body will cause an energy cascade the last person only absorbed one magical items here three times less likely to explode if my theory is correct which it probably isn't i'm sorry are you the weebo um the what the other unicorn said i needed to come here to stop the w something they aren't unicorns they're corpses puppeted by demons what really that is i'm really upset by that it's time to go at least if the portal kills you your body won't be used for musical numbers or whatever it is they're up to wait wait what's in the portal what do i do in there i don't know it took me forever just to open it again i can't have all the answers right right was that you no what again just breathe charlie come on um well bye charlie i don't know what's going on i'm sorry if this is bad we are certainly going to find out you think he'll turn into meat chunks or meat dust oh god oh god oh god huh [Music] in the night in the night we gave barely a fight and all fell down we fell down when the blight when the blight hit with all of its might the world fell down all went down [Music] when i see that booty baby weasel body side of side wanna take a bite got an appetite for all that fuzzy wuzzy loving young feeling heat like mount saint helens hun i'm a sitting duck who's been thunderstruck baby getting dazzled by that furry butt maybe back it up back it up in the night in the night as we cowered in fright [Music] gives me joy [Music] do you hear that want me to check it out yeah no problem hey let's go on an adventure you're flying you won't believe who i met it's the dreaded letter y we gotta get out of here who are you who are you all right all right let's find someone else should we bring y later whoa it's another unicorn wake up little baby uh oh hello hey you want to go on an adventure an adventure uh yeah okay been a while since i've even seen anyone wow i'm charlie by the way charlie charlie charlie yeah that's me weird very weird hey you're gonna wake up those little devils and then more of them are gonna get out are you who keeps opening the portal uh no i don't think so how'd you even get in here this place is secure who are you who am i who are you i'm charlie the unicorn the greatest sorcerer in the world and ceo of charlie technologies i don't know what most of that means but my name is charlie too and i'm also a unicorn i think i found a loophole in my security system where am i what is this place used to be my office until those hooligans mutinied hooligans chaos spirits fairies demons whatever you want to call them you know who's the best customer in the world i do not the military you know what's the most lucrative product in the world i also do not know that labor especially when the laborer isn't protected by any labor laws like chaos spirits i'm not following any of this i thought why not round up those crafty little freaks and give them something useful to do they're not very powerful on their own but with the might of capital backing now you're getting somewhere so i trapped him in blocks of iron slapped my patented magic siphoning spell on the blocks and made a self-sustaining weapon that'll last forever and how did that work out one of them killed me and took my magic it was an oversight i admit but the profit potential on this it was through the roof i'd like to go home if possible are you magic ah yes we can shut this project down for good it's not working i can admit that i'm gonna link you up to my mindscape realizer got a trademark on that name it's gonna be a big deal what is a mindscape realizing [Music] it's a sort of uh well it's another magic siphon i work mostly in siphons but i got this one hooked up to the project's reappropriation process what do i do not much though it works best if you're thinking positive thoughts easier to grab your magic that way so think happy i think you got the wrong guy for this the user experience is very intuitive top-notch stuff it'll all come naturally to you okay get ready see you charlie [Music] jolly the unicorn happy thoughts is not to look around charlie the unicorn now hold still while somebody stabs you in the gut everyone is smiling and i've got a frown but why should i smile as they toss me around i'm told the issue is inside my head as they make a world that is withered and dead oh god i'm getting the wrong kind of readings charlie i said happy thoughts this isn't gonna work if you're so angry you're making the building shake it shouldn't do that happy thoughts charlie come on [Music] everyone is smiling but you've got a frown challenge [Music] is it over i think it might be over yes [Music] [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] [Music] okay that uh wasn't too bad whoa wait is that me why is my face there what did i do well done charlie ah hello how wonderful it is to finally greet you in my true fall i am starting first turned into a wheel by a misguided sorcerer and then into a starfish by a traumatized ghost that's quite a life you've had yes although it is nothing compared to the life that still awaits you and i shout [Applause] that was a perfectly natural heart attack charlie oh it seems as if our time together has been cut tragically short that sucks think of me when you chance to gaze upon the heavens at night i will be staring back upon your beautiful body from the stars okay how is this my sweet you're a bit low how about this perfect [Music] you [Applause] [Music] [Applause] [Music] so [Music] [Applause] [Music] you

Channel: FilmCow

Views: 741,104

Keywords: filmcow, film cow, jason steele, quantax, charlie the unicorn, charlie, unicorn, llamas with hats, animation, comedy, animals, finale, grand finale, candy mountain, banana king

Id: IyAC8Hh0atI

Length: 40min 44sec (2444 seconds)

Published: Sat Oct 23 2021

Reddit Comments

[u/bonegolem]

Oh, glad I got to see it. A huge challange, to put together a proper dramatic ending for a surreal comedy series, and the result was amazing. Felt like part 5 lasted 10 seconds instead of 10 minutes.

Last part was good enough that it managed to work and be satisfying with barely any Nyx, and barely any Pink and Blue. It was amazing to see Charlie finally taking charge, and defeating his tormentors like a badass! Even though my prediction was wrong.

Probably, my favorite part was seeing the unicorns before they were murdered by the demons/cubes/chaos spirits. Kind of sad… Charlie barely missed meeting them alive.

[u/Samneillium]

But what will this sub complain about now?!?!?!?

[u/maronic03]

I first discovered this series 10 years ago when I was still in high school, the first episode was already relatively old back then.

I'm very very glad I stuck with it all this time, the conclusion was great. My favorite bit of the finale is the joke about starifsh's true form.

[u/Actionman158]

now i just feel bad for lolz and roffle.

[u/serrations_]

Wow. Oh my god its finally done :D. What a feat! I dont know if i have the proper words right now to explain how i feel right now but this was all frankly amazing. I found this series as a young silly kid with a lot to be distracted from and now im a lot taller. Thank u jason.

 

I'd like to imagine that Charlie now wanders the wasteland like The Man With no Name or David Carridine in Kung Fu but with occasionally annoying companions and a different amount of auto-erotic asphyxiation. Not less, just different.

[u/zando95]

Wow. What did we think?

[u/YM_Industries]

Oh good, Charlie rejected instrumentality and accepted himself. Congratulations!