Charlie Coaches Alan on Dating | Two and a Half Men

I really appreciate you watching him tonight no problem so how you getting to the restaurant Cherry's picking me up ah very convenient why because she's been here before because she's been here with you because you've had sex with her in every room in the house no because you can't drive but it's interesting to see how your mind works Alan let me give you some advice alcohol impairs your ability to make good decisions we don't want you to lose that ability we want her to of course very good what else well women like Sher already know they're beautiful and desirable you're not going to score any points by telling her okay and don't be in a hurry to spill your guts she doesn't need to hear your whole life story before you get to the salad got it and speaking of someone who knows your life story I'd say she doesn't need to hear it at all right right I'll be cool aloof distant she's here she's here she's here oh what about the what what oh what about the kiss good night should I ask or just go for it definitely go for it but don't wait till the last minute it creates too much pressure get it out of the way early how early after dinner when you walk to the car open her door wait for her to say thank you smile Le lean in and kiss her oh nice well you went great she said I'm adorable she thinks I'm I'm nurturing and caring and sensitive I'm exactly what she's looking for she's looking for a half blind sheep dog she invited me to her house for dinner tonight I think she wants to have sex with who with me with you hang on a second no no snowballs reported in hell no sightings of flying pigs what am I going to do you don't know come on Helen you were married for 12 years what does marriage have to do with sex point taken okay you want some tips no no nothing like that I need step-by-step instructions all right all right since this is your first bout in this weight class I'd say stick with the basics better to do the simple stuff well than the fancy stuff badly got it and the simple stuff would be well do you know how women like you to go slow really my ex-wife put a premium on brevity her motto was less is more and none is perfect yeah well Sherry's not like that you're going to want to take your time I I can do that but don't loiter either you don't want to get bored and start playing solitire on the top of your head no loitering got it something else okay when you're with a woman like Sherry who's so gosh darn beautiful that you get excited just thinking about her how do you keep the sprinklers from going off while you're still mowing let me make sure I understand you want to keep your toothpaste in the tube until you're done brushing what are you talking about what are you talking about okay okay let me try again I don't want to frost the cake while I'm still mixing the batter I don't get it she must have lost a bed or something excuse me nothing all right here's what you do when you feel like the train is leaving the station you mean going in the tunnel no no I mean leaving the station but you have to leave the station to get to the tunnel okay okay let's start from the top and work our way down right you know what just shut up and listen when you're making love the way to slow yourself down is to think of something completely nonsexual what do you think of you [Music] men

Channel: Two and a Half Men

Views: 90,197

Keywords: twoandahalfmen, tv, funny

Id: nuOwdLXTxG0

Length: 4min 42sec (282 seconds)

Published: Sat Mar 23 2024