Cats does Countdown; Alastair Beckett-King proverbs

time now to go across tradictory Corner Alistair what have you got for us well the English language is full of phrases that don't make a lot of sense to me like um the phrase effing and blinding what do we mean when we say that he came in here effing and blinding we mean he came in here swearing and then blinded several people I just think if that situation were to arise why mention the swearing it hardly seems pertinent in the context of a blind oh guys Tom's just blinded Simon oh and his language I know why this is It's because um I'm a I'm a vegan no way you don't seem the type no I am and the thing the thing about that is most Proverbs and sayings in the English language aren't suitable for a vegan diet it makes it very difficult to follow advice like if you're a vegan you can't have a bird in the hand you can't kill two birds with one stone you can't skin a cat in any way at all I'll give you an example of a piece of uh a vegan proverb uh you'll see the problem listen you can't make an [Applause] omlet not really advice it's just it's just an inflected statement of fact and that's the reason I've always been drawn to the Proverbs of Hell by the poet William Blake I'd like to read you a few of them because it honestly it's one of the most wonderful things ever written in in the English language uh plus I'll throw in a few that I've written which are just as good I give you the Proverbs of hell with some by me drive your cart and your plow over the bones of the Dead a fool sees not the same tree that a wise man sees what makes golf difficult is the holes are so small was that was that last one by you maybe prisons are built with stones of law brothel with bricks of religion expect poison from the standing water friends goes downhill from season three Improvement makes straight roads but the Crooked roads without Improvement are roads of Genius there are no pictures of n Edmonds as a child Google it excess of Sorrow laughs excess of Joy weeps if you throw an onion ring around the neck of a pigeon if you throw an onion ring around the neck of a pigeon you win the pigeon I'm King everyone w

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Length: 3min 1sec (181 seconds)

Published: Sun Feb 25 2024