What’s good padna? This week we
gettin fu**ed by the Man with Catch- 22 by Joseph Heller. It’s World War II, playa, and some
soulja boy named Yosarrian just set up shop on the island of Pianosa. Yosarrian and his
crew always cruisin round in their G-Fo droppin BOMBS on suckas. But Yossarian don’t give
a sh** about the war, this cat just tryin to come out the other side with his nuts in
tact. Since a bunch of crooked-ass
bureaucrats running the show, makin it home ain’t gonna be easy. Yo- money was s’posed
to only fly a certain number of missions before he can head back to his hood. But every time
he hits the mark, some ignant-ass colonel named Cathcart re-ups the number. Turns out there’s only one way for
Yosarrian and his boys to stay off their bomb-droppin grind: they gotta be whacked out in the head.
So if you crazy, all you gotta do is say so and the military will send yo ass home. Ain’t
no thang, right? Well there’s a catch, son- an
unwritten law called Catch-22. If you straight enough to be like “Say, brah. Im crazy.
Get me outta here,” then you ain’t ACTUALLY crazy. To these shysti hustlas, just tryin
to save yo own ass is proof enough that ain’t nothin wrong with yo mind. So no matter what,
these soldiers gotta keep marchin. By the end, Yo-seezy seen da war
put all his homies six feet deep- Clevinger, Kid Sampson, McWatt, Dunbar, Nately- even
his roommate Orr who crashing his planes on the reg. But it ain’t til he sees his boy Snowden
get iced that everything changes for Yo-yo. After watchin
snow-baby’s guts get splattered all up on his threadz, he realize that life is way more
important than some bunk-ass war. Well turns out Yo-dawg’s roomie Orr
flowin the same rhyme. Erryone thought he was dead, but on the real, this fool actually
PRACTICED crashing his plane, and now he kickin back up in Sweden. Gangsta! So Yosarrian be all like “Man.
fu**. This. So long suckas. Sweden it is!” Yosarrian lives, B! Harper Lee once called Catch-22
“the only war novel [she’d] ever read that makes any sense.” Now you might be
wonderin “What the hell was that girl smokin?” This book confusing as sh**! Everything’s
outta order, the same unrealistic jive keeps happening over and over, and the hell is up
with all these fancy words? Well this literary OG wouldn’t have
it any other way. Catch-22 is absurd and confusing cuz we live in an absurd and confusing world. So if you feel like you gettin
burned just tryin to make sense of this mess, you feelin just like our man Yossarian. This cat gotta throw down with
shysti capitalists, bent-ass bureaucrats, stuck-up psychiatrists, and people he don’t
even know who wanna bust a cap in his ass! Fool stuck in a crooked system that got him
by the balls in the worst way: Life can wreck even the hardest playas on
the block, and nothin does it faster than havin to take on a faceless
evil. How’s a brotha gonna step to something he can’t even see? Yeah this book got a assload of villains-
but none of em badder than Death itself. When Yo-sizzle peeps Snowden
get straight LIT UP, he realize he done with all this flag waving nonsense and just gotta
get his ass outta there STAT. Life is fragile as fu**, and it
goes by like (Sparky snaps) that. So live it up, padna. And there ain’t no better way to
start livin large than sportin my swag and hittin dat subscribe button. SPARKY SWEETS
LIVES. Peace!
