(lullaby music) (baby cooing) - All right, Steve. You socked Hitler in
the jaw over 200 times. You should be able to bludgeon baby Hitler with a magic hammer one time. Oh boy. This was a lot easier
when he had the mustache. Okay, here we go. One, two. (warp portal opens) - Steve Rogers on behalf of
the Time Variance Authority, I place you under arrest for crimes against the Sacred Timeline. - I'm sorry, you're
with the who, what now? - Take them in for processing. - Wait, this is about that parking ticket. I swear I'll- - Phew. Thought they'd never leave. (gavel slams) - [Judge] Rogers Variant 58008. You are hereby charged with
sequence violation 7654. How do you plead? - I'm sorry, ma'am. That was quite a few numbers
you rattled off there. What's going on? (exhales heavily) - You almost caused a Nexus
event by trying to kill Hitler before his scheduled death. So per TVA procedure, you will be tried and if found guilty, you will be pruned along with the variant timeline. - So if I'm found guilty I'm? - Erased from existence. - Oh. Very fun. Ah! Just by chance has anyone
ever been found innocent? - No. Never. - Interesting. Well, at the risk of
jeopardizing my own existence, wouldn't it make more sense to just erase the entire timeline immediately instead of wasting a
bunch of time and manpower hauling people in here for a mock trial? Seems incredibly inefficient
and kind of dumb? - Well, Captain Rogers,
I don't make the rules. I just enforce the will
of the Time Keepers. - Ah, yes. The three dudes from the moving picture with the uh, robes. - They are far more than that. The Time Keepers are
all-knowing benevolent beings who protect and preserve
the Sacred Timeline for all life in the universe. - Okay, sure. Sorry. I'm just trying to wrap
my head around this. So the beings who control the flow of time were cool with us
hopscotching around the past to collect the Infinity
Stones and defeat Thanos in order to save a ton of lives. But they're not cool
with me going to the past and killing an admittedly
adorable baby Hitler in order to save a ton of lives? - Precisely. See, when you dealt with Thanos, you returned all of the stones, thereby closing off all
the variant timelines. Well, except for one
which we are dealing with. But if you were to kill Hitler as a baby, you would be creating an
entirely new timeline, well outside the boundaries
of the Sacred Timeline. - Okay. Well, how about a compromise? I'll go back and get
all the Infinity Stones and then use the gauntlet to bring back everyone Hitler killed in the present. Boom! Everybody wins. Except, you know? Hitler. - Look, Captain Rogers. As tragic as it is, Hitler's rise to power and subsequent atrocities
are meant to happen. They're written into the Sacred Timeline as decreed by the Time Keepers. Thanos winning on the other hand was not. Which is why the Time Keepers allowed the Avengers
to travel through time. - If that's the case, then
why didn't the Time Keepers in all of their wisdom
and power just erase all the timelines where
Thanos collects the stones and use the one where he doesn't instead? Sure would have saved us a lot of trouble. And Hawkeye had terrible haircut. And by the way, if this timeline
is so sacred and perfect, then how come the Time
Keepers allow something like the Holocaust to
happen in the first place if they could change
it with relative ease? And how come certain things
are allowed to be changed, but others are locked in time? None of this sounds like the
will of wise benevolent beings. It sounds like the whims of a madman or a conqueror or something. - Well. You know. The Time Keepers work in mysterious ways. - Psh. Mysterious my and
by proxy America's ass. - Okay. That's enough. Look. I may not know the intricacies
of the Time Keepers' plans, but it doesn't matter because I don't need to know. And I don't need to know because while the inner
workings of the Time Keepers are still a mystery, their
goal is crystal clear. Stop the multiverse from existing so that we can prevent
the multiversal war. As long as Nexus events are pruned and there is a single Sacred Timeline, the multiverse can never exist. - Except the multiverse
definitely does exist. - I'm sorry, what? - Yeah, it totally exists. My recent work acquaintance,
Dr. Strange and his buddies draw their magical energy
from the multiverse. And if they have these magical powers, which believe me, they do, it means the multiverse has to exist. And if the multiverse does exist on this supposedly Sacred Timeline,
that means that the TVA fails. Maybe you haven't failed yet. Guessing time works a little
differently here or something, But at some point on your timeline, the multiverse will be created. And that means that there
was nothing that you could, or more importantly, did do to prevent it. And if the TVA is a failure, then this whole endeavor
is entirely pointless. All you're doing is jumping
around through time committing insane random acts of cruelty
for absolutely no reason. - Oh. (beep) - Language. But, yeah. - Okay. Mm-hmm. Yes. Thank you very much for your
insights, Captain Rogers. You have given the court lots
of things to deliberate on. But in the interest of time, as we have another upcoming
Loki variant trial scheduled, I've decided to throw out your case. - Oh, goodie. So I can kill Hitler then? - Well, no. You cannot kill Hitler
and you know too much to be sent back to your present. So, I propose we send
you back to the forties so you can live out the rest
of your natural existence with your beloved Peggy Carter. - Well. You lost me with the
can't kill Hitler part, but then you turned it around in the end with the whole Peggy bit. So, I accept. - Just be sure not to create
any other Nexus events? - Absolutely. I promise you will neither
see, nor hear from me again. Unless Disney needs a
little Box Office boost. I mean, unless the Avengers need my help. (retreating footsteps) (door closes) - God, I hate Mondays. - [Carl] Technically, it's both always and never Monday here. - Oh, shut the (beep) up, Carl. - Hey everyone. Thanks for watching. We want to give a big
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