Can you handle the truth? An open discussion with Rabbi Alon Anava

[Music] many years ago my wife is best friend got engaged and then beau Hashem I don't have to say Bosch ever got married and my she asked my wife to say one of the blessings in the Hopa one of the Shipibo hot so you know we were like very young in the in the observant world and my wife tells me can i sir brocklander the hope of one of the shiva behold you know you give the respect to people and i was like what she was like well so-and-so is getting married and she asked me to give one of the chef's of a hot in the who part but like what kind of a wedding is that she was I will you know they're getting read and married reform no no you can get Abraham to the hotel anyway so so listen to this so anyways I told my wife what she's there it's a certain friend that she she has and we I actually thought that she's aware of what's going on she was so observe Shabbat eat kosher Nutella she's getting rare married now with formless ceremony and wife is like yeah I said well first of all you can say breath under the Hopa second of all we've if we go you can't even beat the hope up and if we do want to pay some respects I mean we've been or we can participate in a lot of the things anyways long story short I told her well let's try to convince her to just get married the right way so I went to my rabbi and I told him listen my one of my wife's good friends is getting married and she's getting married in a reformed ceremony and do you think I should go and try to you know get them to think it over and told me don't do anything well then what because I don't try to convince them anything just leave it as it is I says I said the same thing isn't it if they get married reform aren't there like not married he's I guess they're not gonna be married and I was like but that's that's the problem because every time they'll have marital relations they're doing a su of prohibition from the TOA and forget about the consequences and this is a su correct so he's like no don't don't do anything and I was like okay we gotta explain to me why normally I would think you would inspire me to tell me go and turn their world around so I don't we listen if they're not particular with getting married the right way that if if they will get divorced they won't care about getting divorced the right way now what's gonna happen now let's say you somehow convince them you put a lot of pressure in them you'll convince them to get married the right way now what's gonna happen five years will pass ten years will pass they don't gonna let you don't get it get along they'll get divorced now you're not gonna be in the picture and if now they don't care about getting married the right way so when will come a divorce you think they'll care about I get they'll just say goodbye split the money and leave now assuming they have kids and now what's gonna happen they're gonna be divorced but not really divorced because they don't ever get now they'll get remarried and have new kids with a new partner these kids will be Muslim no no that's it that's what I'm saying that's what Marilyn told me if you can arrange it if you now convince them and you'll put it on a pressure and you'll be able to convince them to get married the right way ten years will pass they will get divorce you're not gonna be in this picture now they'll if they don't care now they're not gonna care in ten years maybe we'll but there is a chance that they won't care down the line they'll get divorce without a gate now each one will go and get married again they will have kids again and these are moms are live so you can't say you can't afford that so depends how they do it now one of the most important things in the wedding is there is a witnesses now if the witness is I mean if the wait as long as the witness is there not just observing Shabbat is the person for witness it's me yeah but that's irrelevant if if the witness is forget about reform or not let's say I've seen weddings that the witness wasn't even Jewish so if the witness is not a kosher witness there's no clue the snow is any validity yeah yeah at the time that they yes at the time so there's a lot of rules here but if you if you if you really look into it you'll see that's probably 80 percent of the marriages in America are not real marriages and I I have a wedding album I literally have a wedding album of all the couples that I got remarried and I'm not exaggerating maybe six seven hundred couples because any couple they will come to me and with marital problems the first thing I ask them is are you married of course be married no no you really married yeah well we spent $200,000 on the wedding well that's very nice that you spend so much money but are you really married and most of them might find out they're not even married and we go back we track it back and of course there's what a minute from Meredith of course we had a Hopa how was the hope it was the hope of real real hope there was real witnesses there I don't know okay let's bring the video go pull the video start asking and once you find out the witnesses are not kosher that's it the whole forget about the mikveh right now and many other things and just yeah and now what happens now the wedding is not a real wedding there's no real connection because what really happens in the real hope are the commercial who is showing the souls together there's a there's the right unity first it has to come with a shower then it has to come with a Kinyon we use a ring ash Tavistock stupa then a kidney and the ring then it has to have BR has to have marital relations Ishtar Nick Nick Bosch tau bikini on uber Olivia if they don't have all these three things then the validity of the of the marriage is a question is a question here now as long as the first thing the witnesses are not culture that's it there's no wedding here now what happens they live together every time they have marital relations is one of the most severe sins and they and every and all the interaction between them now how can they have some bike like that it's almost impossible that they'll have strong bite specifically so many couples when they come to me I the first thing I tell them are you married and then I'll tell you a different problem that's another problem with that this is off the subject but as Amin if they had any type of relations prior to the wedding that will cause such a separation between the souls that later on will affect their marriage or affect the kids so all these problems that we see in marriages then these are the that's how you can track it back but specifically in that case and then my rabbi told me don't do anything because if they really don't care about now getting married the right way if customers should only get divorced they won't care about a gift now we're putting them even in a bigger risk so the majority of the couples in America um the weddings in America are not really wedding doesn't affect the Jewishness but it definitely messes it up a lot of things and needless to say that the parents are sinning every time they're together needless to say it's affecting the child emotionally mentally physically health-wise and it's not gonna affect specifically their if the person is Jewish or not but nevertheless in Israel for example the number notes are so strict you can't go around it now the last maybe decade they more breaking the rules I mean people who don't want to go through their notes so they go to they'll go to Cyprus and get married there and come back and but they're a ballute in Israel are so strict they'll drive you nuts some bats there right because now they're of the weddings here are real weddings in America you know how it is in Europe and other places in America most of the marriages in America are not done the right way and every most of the people are not really marriage that depends ready exactly what's going on there I hope of for sure you cannot attend if the hope is a certain officiated by a woman or all these jokes that they're doing you can't even beat the Hupa yeah I can actually not because by being in the hopper you are you're testifying that you agree with what's going on there especially when you look like this and not allowed to be there you know mashin allowed to be there and there's other and then and then forget about the Sudan's go sure even if they even if they offer a order for you culture food that comes in olden Islands you still have a problem eating in the Tuda because it's so that itself is not kosher mmm India there's all sorts of problems here yeah most of the people will not even go to such a low wedding because there's so many problems you can be attending that the dancing you can't attend the ceremony what are you attending here just coming to drop off a check they have to be designated witnesses and they have to see they have to witness they have to be kosher they have to sign they have to check the ring they have to check the hood and they're designated the witnesses marital relations but that's changed after the Torah that changed that's why if you were last time I don't know when you were last time in the Hupa listen to the to the Baha the know stuff of the Baha and the end is kidnapped Masha be slain Moshe will be no brought this the rule I know before that before that you just go into the room have marital relations and stories over but with Moshe Rabbeinu and change you have to have three conditions you have to have a style document that's the whole pittaluga you have to have some bikini on now they do a ring because the kenyan has to have value and you have to have BR the eyes the marital relations you're missing one of them it's a problem so here it comes another question how the ketubah was filled so there is less of a problem if a woman will fill in the ketubah that's whatever okay believe it fine the main problem is is differences and if the witnesses are not kosher now I know this there's a lot of leniency here which I specifically don't agree that I've been to a wedding once and I saw and I told the the rabbi told him were where were the witnesses here so says well I'm one of them not me he told me I'm one of them and this is the other witness you know he he told me some ridiculous things I made him do Chula right now he's ditched you of all right now so now he's he doesn't have anymore since he he's now taking on himself to observe Shabbat what kind of nonsense is that no and why was there was one lady no no is it not yeah I've done under the who but these really erotic music yeah there's all sorts of nonsense that people come up with out you know there's one lady that I was trying to know trying we were helping her and she was in a very bad marriage and she wanted to get out of the marriage she became observant and her husband didn't wasn't observant and I mean after they got married it caused a lot of problems and she wanted out and she knew he's not gonna give her a get and she was like I don't want to be a goona a woman that doesn't have a gift so I told her let's check if you really married and we went to the photographer and the videographer and get the pictures and get the videos and everything and I told her you loophole is if you find out that one of the witnesses is not kosher and you'll get out both the witnesses were were more kosher it wasn't even she was literally like locked into it but there was another situation like that that also with the the lady or he told her let's see if the witnesses are not kosher and she told me one of them is for sure not kosher I know the uncle of the groom and which it was already problem because the witness cannot be a relative but when we went to the rabbi rabbi says now give us an again some some ridiculous excuse that it was a Suffolk and this and in the True Vine a ditch over under the hoop I know that nonsense is that others observing Shabbat or it doesn't besides if you look at the ruin on a how even if he's a thief is is a puzzle to be a a witness so so the problem is that that the main issue right now will be with the witnesses and most of the weddings the witnesses are not kosher once the witness is not kosher the ceremony is not valid and it's not really a wedding and it causes a lot of problems spiritual and emotional problems and then a lot of additional bite because there's no real good connection there and order to make it goes away right yeah rabbit can be one of the witness this isn't will be a little bit less of a doubt because they still hadn't met the marital relations even though it was done in I assume so but the ever my one can might say that they are married right but it depends who you will go by she's me exactly that's what happens now if it's done in as many cases that the woman is NIDA on the night of the wedding and they can be together so they're waiting the couple days or whatever and then they complete it so to say that's why the avid they they you can somehow how do you say Navi okay fine depends who you go by some who say no we've because the first BR the first Rama marital relations was indeed up then it's disqualifying it some who say no fine wait a couple days excuse me yeah just can touch each other about terawatts the problem with what you said because if there are coach if it's like observant a couple they will wait a couple days but if it's not an observant couple she will continue to being media that's like that's why for so for some opinions the opinion that will say even but the evidence not gonna hold because she will continue being me down the whole marriage yes unless thirty years later she'll do Shubin go to the mikveh then there's a Suffolk here if the if it was if it was finalized so to say well it's someone effect definitely not going to affect their their their status of a Jew it's just gonna affect them tremendously spiritually and emotionally yeah they're they're they have such yeah now the kids are gonna have to deal with a lot of problems health mental emotional if they do too much but that's why for example us that our that our parents there's a good chance weren't married 100 percent or were needing or all these things that's why for us that shoe by so hard that's why for us to click that that we have to deal with ours is so powerful because when the parents are together when a husband and wife let's say our own a man and woman are together and let's say for now for not for the sake of a a one-night thing when the husband and wife you know innocent people they just got married when they're together there are creating the the garments of the soul of the child if it's done a hundred percent holy then they're dressing the neshamah with holy garments if it's done not holy then the dressing the neshamah with unholy garments then more unholy it is the more unholy the garments are that's why you go now to a secular school here in Israel you'll see the kids are wild Wow fresh roads like violent it's like some normal so you and where is it coming from so it's a combination of many many things also the a big part of it is also the food that the pill that killed the kids eat but even the just a sensitivity to spirituality the zero sir that's going to be a this is a llama shaken yeah the world of deception that's a that's another problem that's that's why later on the next generation are so separated that even for them to find their other happens is a problem because they're in such a side side of darkness so don't wait that's what you think oh why why do you think you call it is a book the souls do mate by the way yeah there's a you code and this what's called the Z googly or they do mate maybe not in the way that how we're picturing it but when two souls get together it's an unbelievable pleasure for the souls mm-hmm yeah definitely a hundred percent definitely but the problem with marriages is a big problem I spoke about it a lot a lot a long time ago a lot of people didn't like what I have to say because the majority of the marriages al-anam in America not real marriages now go tell a person that are married I have a student and she you know told me a few issues that they have in their life and then I told it the same thing I told her you sure you married with your husband what are you talking about we're married for 40 years long story short we checked what we needed to check and they weren't really married and I told her okay you gotta get married and she's like oh my gosh how am I gonna tell him that she's becoming observant consignee and she's pulling her husband with her so every time she changes things let's start with kosher and then fix the candles and in the Shabbat and then the modesty and then I told her that sure like I don't even know how I'm gonna tell him that we have to get remarried that's all innocent trying what are you gonna lose and they got married I have a picture of them they're in their middle mid-sixties and then she got dressed it said they made a whole thing out of it 40 years great and they could state the same house together no with that specific couple then they they they separated for seven days not out different houses just didn't touch each other she had to go to the mikveh again and she never went to the mikveh she went to the mikveh and they separated they did a Copa she she got Hristina in a you know white dress they made like they made a fun you know renewed their vows or whatever and she of course I they went into the album I have pictures of them it's nice I mean you see that and she actually later on did tell me everything that was a problem slowly slowly worked out I mean that one one child that was very sick and they couldn't figure out why the doctors even you know did they didn't even know why the child is sick they wasn't a child was a man into the thirties they they they couldn't figure out they couldn't find out what's wrong with a person and anyways it causes a lot of problems yeah a hundred percent a hundred percent I told my MA I convinced my mom in her late late 60s to go to the mikveh I mean I you know my mom is vocal champion she's very observant so very much is observant now and every time I added another thing at some point they told her you know it's really sensitive it's asteroids your mom and I told the tell me do you ever going to go to the mikveh I was like well I went to the mikveh the night of it night before we got mad and I got married oh no that was like since then never she was like no so hundred percent there's no mistakes but I would say easily that a lot of the shidduchim are now not the real other half for many different reasons if a person now is going to sin severe sins and loses the school to finding his other half that his other half will go somewhere else somewhere else will marry his other half and he I will either will be a lady not marrying anybody or marrying something temporary it's all so easy to find your other half you can easily mess up your she do especially with since I can here yeah it just says who's the other half doesn't necessarily say they're gonna marry each other but we have free choice and if a person now does turns in if a person now does Sydney Nova IOT of per million relations there's a very good chance they're gonna miss their other half because what happens is now a man will go to a woman that is not his wife and they will have marital relations now what happens is that he's dressing his sperm that the sperm doesn't fit into a body the server has to go into a bar in mourning if it's not for the sake of procreation especially not with your other half then these souls don't have bodies and they go up to to the calash Mahal and say listen this brony this guy created us and we don't have bodies now what happens is that's a lot this is what disolve says when a man and a woman are together the wife of the Samak mem she stands next to the bed and her name is lamb Angela made you tough she stands next to the bed she's waiting for a job to come out now what happens is she takes these drops and she impregnates herself and she brings down to the world demons now what happens the stomach man comes to this world is walking around and you know what he sees he sees kids that look like him hey what's going on they look like me and he goes through his wife and he says what are these kids she says no I got pregnant from so-and-so and he goes to so-and-so Samet women will go to mister whatever his name is and we'll bother him so that's why the sinner of yeah when they're by know when it's not with a woman it's a little bit different it's much more severe to spill seed with a woman that is not your wife and to do it by yourself the myself that's a different it's a different problem because these Souls don't have bodies and even even physical bodies now look at the ball how we say when you finish drinking something but when ever shuttle boat you create many never shot now these never shot they don't have bodies to be placed in and they go up to shaman and they take to the kailash babu listen we're so and so created me and who's gonna feed me who's gonna sign with my furnace who's going to take care of me the logical himself says go to the person who who created you and you take from him and it's the different severa teas also depends i mean it can be so many saw him at the same time man can be with a non-jewish woman that is not his life while she's media just know how many he's to him of colette is going in one shot as la batalla the non-jewish woman Annie a woman who's NIDA a woman that he's not his wife can reach to five six can halt in one in one act so a person does such a severe sin he can lose his other half what's going to happen is a different person who come and take the the Burchell that's why there's a lot of a a lot of ashram by tissues because it's not always the right it's not the right other half and may what happens now if the woman right now is waiting and waiting and waiting the husband is the potential husband is somewhere having fun and in the meantime souls have to come down through the woman so they'll give her a temporary husband only to bring the souls down and then the temporary husband will die when he's young and this is all you know her hoppity that that specific person had to die young cause he did this a much kadosh book all day long is this engineer of what's going on if you would see what a mess if you would get a view from above how it looks it's probably chaos in in this world now for example when I told you with my mother I came to her at some point I was like did you ever go to the mikveh and she was like well I went to the mikveh the night before I got married and I was like since then you were never in a mikveh and she was like no I was like so I was born in Toledo and she was like yeah don't kill me for that but yeah so I told her well you have to go to the mikveh and she was like what I don't have my cycle already for 20 years it doesn't matter but so so I told it doesn't matter but you you still didn't go after the last time and she was like well what good would it do it says well first of all you are you are NIDA you the fact you didn't go to MIT but you are still need up more than that retro actively if you go to the mikveh it will change retro actively all these years and I thought yeah and I told if you don't want to do it for yourself then do it for me retro actively it will take effect no but the effect of it of the impurity rule retroactive Lee will be removed and I told you if you don't want to do it for yourself and do it for me and if you don't want to do it for me then do it for your kids for your grandkids because it's affecting all generations she was like oh the grandkids okay I'm doing it so but I don't but I told her don't don't think it does it's affecting me and my kids too because it's like you know the the thing with the branch one you have a lot of people sitting on a branch and the first one is cutting it the whole branch goes down this is one of the biggest problems with carrot which people don't really realize the severity of carrot if a person a man is doing a sin of correct his kids his grandkids everybody gets affected because his nefesh gets cut off so it's like cutting off the branch and everything after that gets cut off then her husband would need to make this law because he was beneath as well right ya know many many ways there's a lot of other problems with that and unfortunately there's not enough education about it what yeah well the correct first Oh has to be done with a be receipt you have to know what's going on you don't know for the correct to take effect they you have to know what's going on if a person now the secret Shabbat by mistake it was born in they I don't know Greenville they are Indiana and has never really been about Shabbat then his little Shabbat is not correct because in order for Shabbat to be correct you have to have two witnesses and you have to have what's called otra manera warning now if there's no two witnesses and there's no warning then it wouldn't be correct will be metabee - ah - still be severe sin but in order for collects to take effect correct it's not so simple by the way I know a lot of people throwing the word correct in the air tonight first of all goes only on the nephesh it doesn't affect the war and the neshamah that's what it says in the tavern if Reta her nefesh ie Mia Mia listen if Ratana Shama and correct is correct for this of the correct goes on all the ninth few out of the nephesh because the nefesh has 90 watt in them everything has the spirit and the correct goes only on the first 90 watts that's only because the wji MonaVie no he made the deal with the kadosh go home kadosh behold him you know any sin like this like this and like this there will be correct so in the booth benefit of him when the Kailash microrna Obama we know made a deal and they cut the RAM and went through it the Rama vino made a deal with the shame that any person that will fail and correct the correct will only affect the first nine spirits and the last feet I mean the tops fill up all not touch it which is called catio that's why you see that Qatar and Kuwait are the same letters so the correct doesn't affect the sphere of the kettle shobana fish that's where a person can actually do chew up and again the correct can affect the pre mute of Decatur in the kitchen eat okay there's more complex than that well to make chew before collect is not easy no no to die that's for certain sins that that the trooper will not help such as a dilution you can do chuva for hero no shame in this world the death of the person atones for high dilution then this is a very long discussion because because first of all you have the group of people that are mom a certain auction is BA not in auction is BA the correct cannot be affected you cannot affect it because they don't know now yeah the notion is well captured baby between the nation's this it can be the effect cannot take place because he doesn't know what he's doing that's completely not no no he's doing now many people say oh I'm also a teen option everybody that the notion is about well that's really just being very kind and saying that everybody's inaction is bad but if you know what you're doing you know that in action is worth of course one can start questioning what about the works to it what about it said Allah what about McTeer vote nevertheless if I know right now what's going to happen with my can I still do it as a idea there's a knowledge er than the look at that will affect it will affect to be cull it in Israel why not in Israel it's a little bit of a problem because you know I grew up in Israel and I grew up very non-observance and and one can argue and say how can you be at the notion is well if it's in the curriculum of school to celebrate the holidays so obviously you know there's holidays obviously you know there's a Shabbat because in the curriculum of school you don't run on Shabbat and you have enough religious people screaming at you it's Shabbat today it's young people how can one argue in Israel sammartino Geneva so I can tell you only from my own experience many people question in my personal experience how come you were dealt in such a harsh way you are at inaction is BA and I said well you know I could have used the older ones who told me that Amity notion is where I could have used them up there as the synagogue a man's defense attorneys because in German they told me who are you kidding you can come and flag in sham I'm I'm I'm at an auction is well you know things how many times people came and told you you know it's Yom Kippur that you can't eat you just didn't feel like doing it yeah how can you come and say I mean if you really grew up in other words some mountain in Iceland and you can say okay I'm at an auction I don't even heard of such a thing but in Israel specifically you know when all the holidays are you walk in the street there's always eggs and not one city in Israel that you're not gonna find an observant individual that will come and tell you it's Shabbat today puts a lien on you can't eat pork so in this world is very hard to say it in auction is well now it becomes very sophisticated because you can be at the notion is buying certain things because you really don't know and not in auction is you find other things so nevertheless you know I remember I remember when I first figured that out that I told I came to my Rabb and I told him if this is the case if a person is doing something then he doesn't know so it won't affect business Shama for Collette then maybe I should not tell anybody anything now I'm making it worse if I'm going to come and tell a person now desecrating Shabbat is it's a prohibition from the door now I'm putting him in a bigger problem because now he knows it's Shabbat now he knows what he's doing now it will be correct so nevertheless you still have to bring the awareness to an individual to bring sure even the fiddle Shabbat will not be the show gig that's also pretty severe so there's a lot of issues especially when it comes to color it is a lot of these awaken it sugar go ready again the show gang is also it's it's not as severe show gecko show gang means by mistake and I didn't mean to so but especially when it comes to everything that has to do marriages a lot of problems a lot of problems with that and later on you see the next generation now not only that don't don't go so far let's keep it close to home even a merit a married couple that got married the right way a Hoopa and they're observant to the Torah and they goes to the mikveh and everything is according to the book they can also fell in the exact same thing because specifically exactly like you said the more kedusha the more of the clipper has Jenica from so a married couple was observant and they follow all the rules there are in subject to even greater attack why because you know what it means a zero drop of sperm that's coming from an observant couple that everything is done perfect it's like a kidnapping the the prince now that's the thing that a married couple that is observant that's why there's so many rules one little drop will come out that's that drop is worth a lot and next to every bed love it you do drama do tough is standing there doesn't matter who you are now this is like a you want to be sure rounds yeah she's very busy there's also the things that you yeah that's why even a married couple that you you have to be very particular because your drop is like literally kidnapping the son of the king versus kidnapping some regular Schmo in from on and off on the street so specifically she comes and goes after the limo holy people yeah it can be a problem I mean you mean after the fact yeah listen this helps but you have to be holy here that's why the if you go through all the laws of of the way marital relations has to be you know you see it's very very strict one drop will come out that's a problem and of course the Japanese it comes out after that's a whole different thing but there's many ways that the drops can come out before you start even their marital relations and they will there will be a problem so needless to say when it comes to specifically today in this act you have to be so particularly careful and it has to be super perfect but you know what you see right away and the hell do you see the kids look at the kids and you'll see you see a difference and they in the behavior and you see on the faces the face is different behaviors different they're the the Racha mind that everything blowing certain kids you look at them and you like you see clean no junk there needless to say that later on doesn't you see that the behavior no violence and no and no we're being rude and fresh and you know aggressive and so I know it sounds very intimate but I know first of all every kid I know exactly when and how what I everything written down one hour and I I see on my kids the difference of kids and tracking it back to how the whole process was and I can see right away it's very personal but listen I know exactly which day what our everything hammer I mean it's very easy to track it when you're observant you go by the mcvane you know when you can write down I know it sounds kind of ridiculous to write down to 32 a.m. on this day if you know the hour of the consumption as a consumption of conception you can make a real good calculation about about the snare neshama it's not about the birthday it's their kid services conception their day and the conception hour and if you aim a certain hour what did we learn incident is all we didn't finish the day's every hour is divided and every hour of the day is a different combination of a Shems name yeah and if you know how to aim for the right combination of names at the right hour then yeah yes your honor we can read it this is exactly what it's talking about with lemon you lemon you tough yeah a lot of people don't don't like we're hearing about all this because it's a way too harsh on them to our to here that is that la module a module tough is standing next to your bed while you mating and she's waiting to take a drop and what's going on in the room and and why every little thing makes a big difference there I mean not a shirt not for shoot it's wrong maybe we'll learn this in one of the salt classes today yeah if you did the right to vote then for no questions here but - it's gonna be a very hard Shula no end of element define Angela if you do - by the right way you'll get rid of everything yeah but I can tell you that the tumor will be hard hard to do Chuba okay maybe there is some ah ha Meem maybe there is I listen I'm not the one who to tell you how much mercy a sham will give to who I'm not and I'm not in the House of Representatives generally the college before yes can arouse a lot of a humming but depends was the person where they come from what's their background I I don't like them so much the approach of uh you know where with such a low generation and I don't buy that I don't like when people say we're weak generation and there's a lot of temptations and what is it they didn't have temptation four hundred years ago yeah yeah then trust me there was alcohol so two thousand years ago there were homosexuals also two thousand years ago so maybe now you have it a little bit more accessible but what do you say don't think that is they had the rock what happens in stone look at the dorm boy all day long it was parties there don't you think all stone was that one big as a man I'm just saying that we're not that we didn't invent the wheel okay so we have now a little bit more access and through the internet oh it's a little bit more easy now but what do you think there wasn't this Java 200 years ago yeah this is one of the first sins in the book so I don't buy this say we're a week to generation I think we're actually a very powerful generation because if I'm able to serve a shim in such darkness and you see shoes that are full of people and go to the mikveh at 4 o'clock in the morning you'll see a lot of men there that's no weak that's strong we are a strong generation Moshe Hibino you know emotionally no shampoo pulled him out on the mountain and he told him and the Torah says that he showed him a de Yamaha on till the last ocean the hazael are explaining it dogs shamanic don't say other yama once had a Yamaha on Marshall Avenue so till the last day and the Midrash explains that Moshe Rubin was most impressed with our generation Shem told him this is the generation you're impressed with I'm showing you now the generation of the tonight look at these Giants ah look at these genders generations of the prophets the horn him that we show Neve them Cooper him look look at it and he's macho man you know that's the generation of impressed with Chef Nelson why he says because the tanam they had a revelation of China and they are Navy mall so the prophets also had revelation they had bitumen ash now all these do people is of course they were in that level but look at this generation they don't have even one drop of godly revelation here there's no shine of the Shekinah they're in such exile such darkness and they still wake up in the morning so early to pray and they learn and they do all the mitzvoth that's power that's powerful we don't have a better me - we don't have a said Hakeem with Warhawk college that we can go to them and see them doing move team and we're still so observant I'm sorry to tell you we're gonna do quick generation we have powerful generation just me says in limitless but look at our generation I'm sorry to tell you I was on Saturday I went to the to the sans McRae ship and everyone and a wife was closed it was packed packed seven o'clock in the morning packed with men and you know what one week where they forgot I don't know maybe they forgot to switch off the hot McRae was like a soup it was boiling hot people are just going in there into the cold McClure I must say I'm looking that and I'm gonna tell it to myself a shame only because of this you should bring Michelle what I'm say look nefesh hundreds of men just going there freezing cold going all the way down to the microbes early oh no I don't accept it that we are a weak generation we might have a lot of temptations but I don't think that two hundred years ago didn't have the sensations also you know I saw sticker not too long ago on some cars and it says in Hebrew come to Bob okay Peggy toda all the rest is the bonus you woke up in the morning be happy all the rest is a bonus so I don't I don't like that attitude in our generation or be soft and people should hear about all these things and I don't agree with that I didn't think it's fraud I think your frauding people when you're not telling them the truth did you fit to the face I was in a lecture in California and there was one guy he came to my near-death experience lecture the next day came to a different lecture the whole lecture is crying and I'm like feeling bad one I'm making this guy crying now comes to me the end of the lecture and in his late 60s and he tells me you know yesterday and today you you what you said in these two days I never heard such things he's like I've been driving for 30 years on Shabbat to the synagogue nobody ever told me I'm not allowed to drive to the synagogue 30 years I'm going I'm attending the synagogue and he's like I'm so upset at the river but he could never tell me I'm not allowed to drive on Shabbat and he's like he's like crying and he's thing we thank you for that for letting me know now I know I'm not allowed to drive to show so and he was in other words upset I'm upset at the rabbi why you couldn't tell me what are you afraid I'm not gonna show up if I am I'm gonna give you my annual donation or whatever it is I'm not gonna yours you're sure is gonna be empty what are you afraid of I really don't like that attitude I I don't do not like the attitude of sugarcoating the reality and it's okay so it's not okay now you're talking a little bit about lemon dude I made you tough several i'ma tell everybody oh no no no no don't scare the people don't scare them okay so what I'm gonna leave them straight in to get home you know what's gonna happen I'm gonna be prosecuted in sham I'm gonna have a lawsuit you knew and you didn't say anything sorry to tell you I'm not taking a chance to be sued besides you have the right to know if I know something and I'm holding it from you because I'm afraid because you're gonna react a certain way I'm fronting you that's they don't know the time in these ways of saying everything doesn't mean I have to come now with a bag of thrown as a throw it on you but there's a way to say everything well first of all no depends it really depends here this is no black and white here because first of all you don't know how the person will react I'll give you an example I was once in a lecture and and at the end of the lecture a bunch of young guys came and they were like making fun the whole lecture and and at the end one of the guys comes and tells me tell him he points at one of the guys one of the guys there says points and one of the other guys says can you tell him what happens when he was still seaman he doesn't believe me so I tell him everything one dealer is they're all laughing at me and mocking and making jokes and you know making jokes and giving high-fives to each other and like that you know and I'm like you know okay you know it seemed pretty brave now I don't think you're gonna be so brave when you're gonna have to face it anyways long story short I also was having the question should I in maybe notice anything they might not accept it maybe be happier that I eight months down the line I bump into some man on the street and he tells me how are you gosh I'm okay how are you he's like you don't recognize me no sorry I don't so he tells me I was in that lecture remember a few months ago in Queens and I'm like oh yeah yeah I remember you said this time you had like a little fuzzy cheek you know a little bit of hair a big yarmulke sit sit and I'm like no I now I recognize you so you told me you ruined my life I told him well you look much better now and I think I actually proved your life I didn't ruin it he's like for half a year every time I was with my girlfriend I had this vision I had of this your ugly face every time I was with my girlfriend I was thinking about you I was like well I hope you weren't thinking about me no no I just saw you I think that mean okay I saw your ugly face you ruined it for me and I was like good but I see you made a change so the point is that there is a way of saying everything and if somebody can sustain the way to don't put that weight over on that person you might crash that's why there's no black and white here you have to feel the person and see what they can handle sometimes a person needs to get the punch to the face he might not accept it in the beginning but you plant a seed inside so deep that is gonna be in the mind working and working and this guy he didn't accept it was mocking me he was laughing at me the whole night making jokes he was like the jokester of the of the guy al Vicar of the group in my mind I was like laughing yeah yeah laughing now I don't think I'm gonna be laughing so much when you when you meet that day but you know what it was planted so deep in his mind that he couldn't let go of it when it comes to Kiev to outreach to talking to another person you really there's no blight there's no can make a manual there's no black and white here you have to really know what you're doing you have to really this is an art to do outreach is an art you really need to know how much pressure to put when to remove the pressure that's why for years I was refusing to do videos online because the forum especially for my story because I was at because I'm sitting in a room like this there's a different dynamics different energy everything is different on a screen you're looking at a screen you can argue with the screen and if you don't understand something what you're gonna ask and there's a block of energy when it's in a room it's totally different that's why when I go to lectures I don't like these lectures of 500 people because it's not the same I rather sit in front of 40 people 30 people then the energy is spread equally each one and each one gets exactly the dose they need to hear so when it comes to Kiev it's not so simple there's no manual thing don't say this don't say that say this say that some people you can tell them straight to the face or maybe you cannot do this this is a so correct and they will accept it and some people they need to hear it it will shock them they might not agree with you but you have to plant the seed and some people you need to know when to when to pull the reins let go little bit of the reins so there's no black and white here but needless to say now I'm talking about in general right now when you're working with somebody over and over you can the person comes to your show for 30 years come on it's 30 years they don't tell him you're not allowed to drive give him the first year then tell him by the way why don't you start coming and sleeping around us you know really shouldn't drive on Shabbat there's a way to do it no it was actually I don't want to say what type of ash ocean under ambition Allah was our Orthodox acidic Shore rabbi just there yeah and that's a sure way I spoke was a few shoes in that area and they invited me to speak and they know in Los Angeles so you know I think that in many places they're like don't want to say because ha special on will be interpreted maybe as the Shannara sometimes it's different chose the rabbi is afraid to be direct because a he's afraid to scare off the congregation more than that money yeah you're right yeah if you're going to put too much pressure on the congregation there's not gonna be donations is I'm gonna be support or you get fight well this is if you actually work for the show and then you I know a rabbi that worked for a show it lasted maybe 11 months cause he they told him don't say this don't so that at some point he cracked it somebody's like I'm sorry I can do that and he got of course he got fired he says I can't go by your rules yeah but I'm talking mine are independent sure there's many independent shows and there's a different agendas why I would I would award or would not say things and how many shows that they were allow certain things to happen because you know there was one show that was was that I know of that was really supported by one man and the man's wife not is not even Jewish so everything was around the fact around that man and and the the sad part is the rest of the congregation's they saw that the rabbi is not a hundred percent so they left anyways so it's very hard to find somebody who's straight out this is the truth this is the Torah don't bend the rules don't don't no make me try to bend the rules for you you like it really good you don't like it that what everybody want me to to renew that make the toll on you so when I became observant I was demanding I was they give me the truth don't sugarcoat me no don't don't to say distort the truth I want to know exactly you know you heard yesterday David here going north all freaking out you know he also had a near-death experience he saw with his own eyes he's like don't play with it this is the truth don't don't say I think you can so you said that Shem is the Hamim and mercy of course a shame has mercy but there's also judgment and the rules and there's no bending of the rules and trust me remind the Dean is a Deen the judgment is they know and they bend it too much so we need to know I I want to know exactly what happens and I don't want to be lied to and that's why I don't like also they did it not giving the information to people I think it's the worst attitude to really to do to do that so yeah so you know not too long ago about a year and a half ago I came out with a certain lecture and find it online but I know like a million views and there was a harsh message and we have a crew that are running all the social media and the guy was a Mike social media and the guy that's running the Facebook's he tells her listen you you losing likes after this lecture you losing likes only think I care about my likes take care if I have people like my page I don't like my page I can care less this is the message it needs to be said and it will be said he's like no but you're losing popularity I don't care if I'm losing popularity what I think I'm hearing running a popularity contests knows about you know specifically about the coming of mashiac and the problems in our generations in our generation so the point is that that some people don't like hearing the truth straight to the face but somebody has to say it and if you don't like it that's your problem it's not the that's the speaker's problem you deal with it and you know people don't like to hear it because the truths now it's demanding now they have to make a change now they don't look so good but you know it's that's how you really start operating when you when you give too much coaching you mooch in you you don't grow sorry to tell you I some 14 years I'm around the world dealing with tens of thousands of people in Kabul I see when you're too much nice and too much padding on the back they don't grow spiritually you only go spiritually when the ground is hot so you're jumping a lot right like the Indians how they ride around on the coils on the right and the ground starts to becoming hot you try running fast everything is relaxed then you're like okay each of up in three years and when the kids grow so I know we sometimes we tend to sidetrack from our curriculum that's it but everything everything needs to be heard I rather actually maybe do or be squeezed in some Kamala or you know fifteen minutes everything is important that because a lot of the a lot of unfortunately a lot of the toy is so distorted in our generation and that's my personal opinion and maybe a lot of people I know don't agree with me I don't like that the tour gets sugar-coated and they know it's okay you're good you're a good Jew and a symbol of zero in New York and you did a mitzvah in the last month then you were you good it's not true it doesn't say anywhere in the Torah such a thing if it says in the Torah you have to observe Shabbat you think you have a discount from somebody you think you're different than me anybody's different here it says in the Torah clear so this specific show that I told you about that the guy was driving for thirty years to show one can come and say look at the success we have we have 40 people in our show on Shabbat yeah but those 40 people are driving to your Shan Shabbat now they're going to come up to shaman and they're gonna set - they're gonna say to the heavenly court what do you want from me observe Shabbat I did everything what the rabbi told me oh really call the rabbi and some stuff some rabbis gonna have a very big lawsuit in your mind you told him he can drive or you didn't tell him he can't now the the weight is on you now that's why I said depends what you measure success if a person you know is eating a kosher meal once a week but still desecrating Shabbat or marriage or non Jew eating or whatever so what's the success here that one time a week he ate kosher the successes that you design the person and you turn okay now go be a Jew and that person knows the truth and acts on it and and and it's not that he shows up once a week to a service or to a party so that's what I'm saying I'm not customer I'm attacking anybody oh the success is measured for me a success is that I can take a person and he's aware and he's developing his own chuva by himself that for me a success is when a person is observant not 50% observant 50% observant is you're missing something here because it's either he doesn't have all the information so he thinks he's fine or you as a trainer I look at it I look at myself in cases then I'm like a personal trainer I need to bring my athlete to the Olympics and to win the gold medal and when the athlete fails the trainer has a bigger failure because you trained him so as a trainer I want you want to bring your students to the highest level if I have a student that I see him you know like and obviously I'm doing something not a hundred percent because I'm not able to bring him to that level so for me you know I I II III see that successes yes some people you would say uh then there will never be observant who said such a thing why am giving up before you started and I know some people to drag them into the show that's that's a whole big thing but I don't believe the approach that it's okay if he does two three meets vote he can do more than that that's not true you can take any individual now make him a hundred percent observing the whole depends how are you telling him what you telling him and how are you getting him to do it but to tell on a person oh it's just let him put fill in once a week is that's what he can handle where is not what I'm I'm different than anybody else if I can handle all the the Torah says everybody can handle it it doesn't say anywhere in the Torah a person who lives in this geographic place of the world or a person that is between this and that age or a person who's suffering from this is is exempt from them it's worth we all gotta tow exactly the same and when we still have seen I they were tall people short people fat people crippled people blind people everybody was there the time I was given to everybody equally one c'mon shot one level so it means that any Jew now in the world pulling from wherever you gonna point if you're given the right guidance he should be a hundred percent observant with no excuses so some people go after the masses let me just make a lot of people do one Mitzvah some people say no let me work systematically and I want to make or make a one-by-one and again it's a very large broad talk because it's not so everything is easier said than done to really take our under your wing a group of people and to make them observant that's not easy besides that a lot of people take credit for the fact that somebody else became observant I was once I was hosted somewhere and the rabbi there when he had an ego like a girl like a hot air balloon there never seen such a thing we're sitting there there was like a lot of people and he points out you see that guy you see he's observe Shabbat because I mean wow you see them there because of me and every cause the whole Shabbat he was pointing out and people you see this because of me somewhere was the water deserving mark because of you you just helped them nobody does chuva because of you a person has Shiva because from the inside he wants to do Chuba you can only be guiding the person you can just give the right information you're just a billboard and they come to you with questions and you have to give them example of course but the person anyone who does sure why they did you run because they from the inside they did the Chua yes somebody approached them somebody inspired them somebody taught them one can say yes I taught him for five years good very nice of you that you taught him a person does Giovanni from the inside nobody can come now and don't can convince somebody to do - I have a work for a week and then the person will jump out you only do to Bob because deep down inside you know that's the truth you as the person who wants to help can just guide and if you guide the right way we're starting in a few minutes if you guide the right way then then then you're able to bring that person you bring the the the just call it the Jewishness to the surface but other than that here's your wings go and fly do it yourself nobody can come and take a credit I heard not too long ago some rabbit saying oh I made a hundred thousand people to chew up but you counted them well you've made a list and start counting made a survey and everybody raised their hand yes you made me do chew up you helped a lot of people to do chew up you taught them you gave him example you guided them you did whatever effort you did and I'm not consolation I'm taking any of that credit Cola come on but nobody can come and take credit [Music]

Channel: Rabbi Alon Anava

Views: 4,607

Rating: 4.8809524 out of 5

Keywords: Can you handle the truth, truth, lie

Id: zMiYeYCtdpM

Length: 67min 24sec (4044 seconds)

Published: Wed Feb 14 2018