Translator: Tanya Cushman
Reviewer: Peter van de Ven Wow. Thanks. What if your natural communication style is crippling your relationships? What if the way that you
naturally process information is doing more harm than good? What if every time you opened your mouth or just walked into a room, you caused damage? Your communication style is the biggest biohazard
to your relationships. Now, there's something
really beautiful about small ideas that are simple to apply. And ladies and gentlemen,
I have the privilege today of sharing with you a small idea that was created
right here in Atohira, right here in New Zealand. I haven't got much time, but I'm going to take you
on a bit of a journey. I want you to get a sense
of your natural communication style so you can remove some of the risk
to your relationships. Because communication is vital in truly connecting with people. Of course, there are other components: courage, compassion,
commitment, curiousity. But let's start today with an easy bit;
let's start with communication. Now, David Dixon is the Kiwi
who spent over 25 years researching different
personality profiling systems and different communication models
from all around the world. And in true New Zealand style,
he basically said, "If you get rid of
the fluff and the hype" - I think he used a different word;
it started with "bull" - (Laughter) "If you get rid of the fluff and the hype,
what it comes down to is we are a combination of these
four different communication styles. You cannot be just one. And none are better or worse
than the others." Of course, he looked at Myers-Briggs. Of course, he looked at TMI and DISC, Personality Plus, teacher MAPping, Hermann's. He even looked at the Simpsons. (Laughter) So, strap yourself in, what I want to do is give you
enough information in this session, to get a sense of what
your natural communication style is. Okay. In fact, famous Irish playwright
George Bernard Shaw, it was him that said, "The single biggest problem
with communication is the illusion that it has taken place." Having been a lawyer,
a family lawyer, I can certainly say that I've seen the very real effects
of miscommunication. So, I'm going to talk to you
about the simple New Zealand tool, called DOTS. Now, just before I start, for some of you,
you need a more technical term or something that sounds
a bit more scientific because DOTS sounds a bit babyish. You are quite red in your thinking. So, what I'm talking about this afternoon is precognitive communication. It's the study of the way
that we process our thoughts. Some of you process thoughts by talking. A lot. (Laughter) There's a few of you here. (Laughter) Some of you process by thinking things through thoroughly. Some of you process by turning
the things that you're hearing, the words, into pictures inside your mind. And some of you process
by simply getting a feel for what's occurring. It's hard to put that into words. It's more of an intuitive process. I'm going to start
with the beautiful purple dots. People who are strong
and purple talk a lot. Thoughts and ideas are
constantly popping into their mind. There is no stopping and thinking. It pops into their mind
and straight out their mouth. These people are interested
in the "what" in any communication. What do you want? Don't tell me why - not interested -
what do you want from me? Don't tell me,
as a purple dot, how to do it. If you tell me how to do it,
I will deliberately not do it that way. And can I assure you
that not every teenager is purple? (Laughter) Okay, so, they have ideas;
they are great at starting projects. These people are high energy. You'll know if you are sharing
an office with a purple dot. Because you'll hear them, and they'll probably be
in the office by themselves. (Laughter) Contrast our beautiful purple dot with the red dot. Red dots do not open their mouth until they have thoroughly
thought it through. It will add up; it will make sense. They talk in bullet points: "Yep." "Nope." "Go away." (Laughter) Can you imagine, ladies and gentlemen,
just with that little bit of knowledge. A beautiful purple dot and a red dot traveling to stunning Invercargill. (Laughter) We're talking about
a two-hour car journey. (Laughter) Purple dot, blissfully unaware:
"Chat, chat, chat, chat, chat." All the red dot wants to do
is kill and maim. (Laughter) And that's before they've even
got to Invercargill. So red dots are interested
in facts and figures. And they are quite straight up
in their approach: "A spade is a spade." The other people in your organization
sit quite like organizational charts, where it sets out logically
where everyone fits in. It's beautiful. So, they're listening
in any communication for the where. Where they fit. Purple dots are listening for the what.
Red dots are listening for the where. Yellow dots naturally process information
by turning everything you say to them into pictures inside their mind. These people like their environment to be neat and tidy. They can spot a spelling mistake
from 30 kilometers away. Now, that's a gift. And if you're living - here's a wee tip - if any of you are living
with a yellow dot, and they set the table a certain way, don't mess with it. (Laughter) Yellow dots are listening
in any communication for the when. When? When? When? Time is very important for these people. If they say 10 AM, they mean 9:59. For a purple dot to get to a meeting,
if they get there within ten minutes, they think they are on time. (Laughter) Uhuh, I 'm feeling the pain
of the yellow dots, married to purple dots. (Laughter) So, yellow dots, they want lots of data
so they can build pictures, and time is really important to them. You can spot the yellow dot
in the workplace. They are people
that will be putting up signs reminding other people
to clear away the coffee cups. Or clear out the dishwasher. Meanwhile, the blue dot team members
will be quietly putting the cups away. Because they want to keep the peace
and just get it done. So, our blue dots,
last, but certainly not least, they process information by turning
everything you say to them into feelings and sensations. So, they're processing
almost through their body. It's part of a heart-based process. These people are hands-on. They like to finish things
and have everything go well. They're excellent team players. They like to get their hands dirty,
if you like, or hands-on stuff: in the garden, fix cars. In any communication,
the blue dot is listening for the "why." Why? Why? Why? They need to feel comfortable
before they're going to start a task or do what it is
that you're requesting them to do. Now, with that little bit of information: Picture for me a red dot parent
that wants to get stuff done. And a blue dot child, that's just trying to get a feel
and might not be quite ready to move. And the blue dot child
might unwittingly ask, "Why?" And the red dot parent might find
that to be a bit disrespectful: "Just get on with it!" (Laughter) But for the blue dot child,
that's not being disrespectful. They're seriously just getting a feel
for what's required. Communication is vital to truly connecting with other people. And I've just given you a short taste
of the different dots, today: A simple, New Zealand-made
communication tool that can help you get on to
somebody else's wavelength. Because what I'm talking about is your communication style,
without you even realizing, may be causing the people
around you to judge you or misperceive your intentions. Imagine ... if everyone
in the whole wide world could communicate more effectively. What a legacy we could leave. I find that exciting. My question for each of you today, because it is my belief, if all we do is to use dots to communicate
more effectively, what an incredible difference this little tool
from New Zealand could make. My question, ladies and gentlemen: What dot are you? Thank you so very much. (Applause)
