BRUTALLY Roasting Tommy Little & Friends | Tom Ballard

isn't this an amazing lineup everybody truly a who's who of who was available Luke McGregor is here presumably for the shade fun fact Luke is actually a nickname it's short for his real name leukemia um oh too far Li McGregor looks like what would happen if Nick Cody grew up next to a nuclear power plant Luke McGregor looks like ginger Megs if Ginger Megs got the Tom H roll in Philadelphia really there are no lines we've come this far I friend Dave thoron is here yeah I agree Dave thoron is here because under Australian law every comedy event is legally required to have at least one Dave Dave thoron is a straight white man named Dave talks about his kids and dogs truly he is the factory settings of an Australian comedian if Dave thoron was any more boring it had a full-time gig on the carry and Tommy [Applause] show Nick Cody is here because Ben Robert Smith was unavailable Nick loves the Armed Forces he's desperate to join the SAS CU he thinks it stands for sexual Assault Squad Nick Cody looks like Hoppers Crossing [ __ ] Frankston Nick Cody is such a dumb Bogan he makes Brendan favola sound like a philosopher Nick Cody is such a massive Ginger should be in the Spice Girls these are jokes I love Nick Cody he's a complicated guy Nick yes he's a bit of the fog and loves his UFC but he also went to the Taylor Swift concert what [Applause] a well now I think it's time to address the elephant of the room and by that I mean Adam gilchrist's ears why are you hear Gilly shouldn't you be in a naughty cartoon or telling Dumbo Yu his real dad hey you know what they say about men with big ears yuck I'd never [ __ ] him gross Adam's ears are so big the only thing they match is Tommy's nose and Tommy Li's nose is so big bags of cocaine tell stories about it to scare their children Adam gilis used to play cricket for a living which is embarrassing get a real job loser get a real job be a comedian like me or work at 7-Eleven like D or or be a spy for the Chinese government like Lizzy Carl cheller is here apparently I didn't listen to he [Applause] said I kind of zoned out he is here but I'm going to be like the rest of the comedy industry and ignore him just Carl you're ugly and everyone thinks you're a [Applause] car God I'm clever Lizzy who Sonia dioro and dur singer are here because wokeness has gone mad I'm glad they're not sitting next to each other otherwise we'd be looking a little too SPS I'm joking you guys are all [ __ ] hilarious tonight and it must have been really tough to do it in English deals a good friend of mine he might it's in Dyan I'm a celebrity get me out of here or celebrity Master Chef or celebrity Uber driver to be honest I'm always kind of nervous around deal cuz he looks like a suicide bummer mid explosion I'm fat but I'm [ __ ] [Music] funny all right time for the fan of the hour Tommy Little everybody holy [ __ ] I love Tommy Little very much and we can probably drop the pretense like there isn't actually a roast guys this is the only way we could gather together everyone that Tommy Little's [ __ ] into the one room to let you know you all have HPV yeah even the men turns out Tommy's dick is more riddled with disease than the Royal Family Tommy Little such a horny [ __ ] boy he was asked to leave Epstein's Island because he was making everyone else feel [Applause] uncomfortable hey here's something I didn't know according to his website Tommy Little is a comedian he's performed many brilliant shows at The Comedy Festival over the years none of which I've been able to see because I've been too busy winning Awards in all seriousness Tommy Little is one of my favorite comedians uh in the world to masturbate to when I'm home alone I love nothing more than getting my dick out putting on one of Tommy specials pressing the mute button and absolutely going to town on My rockard Little [Applause] Dicky Tommy's very good-looking the only thing that turns me off about him is his comedy his laugh and everything he says and does I can be rock hard while looking at his Instagram but as soon as I hear him delivering his dog [ __ ] material and his goofy dodgy Croatian real estate agent voice my [ __ ] goes softer than a puppy in a pile of laundry all right I've only got an hour to [Applause] go

Channel: Tom Ballard

Views: 3,088

Keywords: comedy, standup, standupcomedy, australia, tomballard, tomballardcomedian, australian comedy, roast, comedy roast, comedy roast jokes

Id: qtPsEq3FIVk

Length: 6min 24sec (384 seconds)

Published: Tue Apr 09 2024