Brother refuses to work & my mother cut me out of her will because I refuse to take him in

hello and welcome back to my channel hope you are having a good day and if not just remember that there will be sunshine after the rain i have four new stories for you today the first story is about a family member who refuses to work and expects everyone to help him don't forget to like and subscribe to my channel and enjoy this post is the product of years of family drama that basically all center around my brother he was raised as the true golden child of the family much to the detriment of me and my sister we were a very upper middle class family and my brother was the center of the wrong crowd and his life is in absolute shambles he is 24 now and if i had to guess my parents have spent 500 000 on various colleges rehab programs and facilities actors workshops investment schemes and on and on it could be a little less it could be a lot more the heartbreak of seeing my brother fail time after time had to be a major factor in my dad having a heart attack and dying at 63 four years ago my brother showed back up in chicago area last summer with a sob story about why he failed out of the last rehab my mom had paid for but this time he claimed he was voluntarily homeless my mom couldn't handle this so without checking with me or my sister mom concocted this plan that the three of our households would take turns hosting my brother so he wouldn't have to be on the streets my mom's new boyfriend who is a decent guy can't stand my brother and probably put his foot down to taking brother on full time so when i was told about this and when my turn first came around i told my brother that in no certain terms that he could stay but he had to come to work at my company i had to be with him at all times and he had to pay his room and board through helping me with fixing up our house he wanted no part of that and had chosen to be homeless during every two-week period that he was supposed to come stay with me i have not seen him and since i know my mom and sister have not put a hard line on him i know he is still using well as the national news will tell you we are in a massive deep freeze and of course this coincides with my two weeks to keep him he showed up at my house on friday night when we started hearing just how cold it was supposed to get i told him that he had four choices he could avail himself of the services that the city was putting together and remain homeless he could go back with my mom or sister he could take me up on my offer to work and help around the house or i would buy him a bus ticket to florida to get out of the cold well i don't think he caught the meaning of a one-way bus ticket what i know he thought was happening is that i was giving him a ticket to go party on the beach until the cold passed and then i would provide for him to come home when i dropped him off at the bus station earlier in the week he pointblank asked me when and how will you send the return ticket i told him there was no return ticket take what i was giving him or stay in the cold he proceeded then to unleash an angry cursed field rant accusing me of every family sin under the sun until i kicked him out of my car i know he got on the bus beyond that i have no idea what happened to him and i care even less edit he absolutely knew i was giving him a one-way ticket sorry for the confusion he just thought this was an open-ended party in florida and i would be sending him a return ticket when he was ready to come home there was no illusion or subterfuge on my part about the ticket my mom is outraged at me to the point where she is talking about suing me for great bodily harm whatever that is supposed to mean cutting me out of her will and estate and even telling my wife she'll introduce her to divorce attorneys my sister has quietly thanked me because she wasn't sure how she was going to break it to mom that she wasn't taking my brother in anymore because her fiance was sick of him so from the view of my mom i am not only an idiot i have apparently put my brother's life in danger from me and my sister's view i have washed our hands of a long-standing problem at least for a little while so am i the idiot edit there's one thing i just want to address really quickly some people are saying yes the idiot because i blame my dad's heart attack on my brother surely you can say that my dad may have had a heart attack sooner or later but he died at 63 years old other men on his side of the family have lived well into their 80s and 90s my dad's dad is still alive as an example my two great-grandfathers lived to 98 and 102 as another example there is no doubt in my mind that stress of having to deal with my brother absolutely contributed to his poor health i am no doctor but the links between stress and heart trouble are very well established and it got so bad at the end that my dad's own cardiologist was advising him that he had to let my brother go or it would kill him my dad died after a series of small heart attacks and a big one that started occurring after he went to somewhere in new mexico and rescued my brother who was p himself for d all while my parents were sending him something like 3 500 a month for living expenses to get himself back on track to me the link is so absolute that i feel 100 justified in blaming my brother for my dad's death you can judge me all you like but the pictures of how my dad changed from a robust man in his late thirties when my brother was born to a broken shell by the time he died would maybe change your judgment i don't think o.p is an idiot the opposite he is the only one sensible in the family i know it's hard because op's brother is an addict but the thing is that it doesn't look like he wants to change and get better i understand mother is worried for him but nothing will change if the family keeps running after him and helping what really shocked me is her threatening to sue op really that's just ridiculous [Music] i have a small group of close friends all males around the age of 25 that i hang out with almost every day we've all known each other almost all our lives and recently about one and a half years we got a new addition to our group john i never really liked john he was rude obnoxious and would always talk like he knows everything he was also incredibly pretentious a friend of mine said einstein once and john interrupted him to say i have no idea who you are talking about do you mean the renowned scientist albert einstein i once put up a snapchat story saying i love college football and he replied to my story with it's called gridiron you [ __ ] i don't understand how but my friends readily accepted him into our friend's circle on one night about five or six months ago we had a little get-together and were just drinking and having fun john was kind of tipsy we had some new girls show up so i was kind of working my charm on them they asked me what i did and i went i'm a biomed engineer i don't know why that triggered john so much but he went into this hour-long tirade about how i'm just a drone in a rat race he kept telling me about how i'm just like every other person and lacked creativity he later passed out but his little tirade became a running joke in our group every time i mention work or anything john would start roasting me he nicknamed me drone and kept calling me that even though i expressed multiple times that i don't like to be called a drone he would keep telling me about how easy engineering is he watched some intro to engineering courses online and that any monkey with a brain can do what i do that really pissed me off once i told him to shut the duck up but he was like what are you gonna do fight me i dare you to swing i didn't want to fight him so now i started getting referred to as a p at this point it is relevant to bring up what john does he's a photographer who works as a barista at starbucks how good is he honestly he started off as an annoying kid with a dslr no talent and a facebook page where he uploaded three honestly he started off as an annoying kid with a dslr no talent and a facebook page where he uploaded 3 out of 10 pictures over the years he got slightly better but it's still terrible i'd say he's more of a 5 out of 10 now two weeks ago he got rejected from his dream job and made an instagram post about how national geography discriminated him because of his skin color brown last week we had a surprise birthday party at his place with his family he lives with his parents and friends at the party i apologized to him i hadn't met him since the post and said i'm sorry you didn't get in that geo to which he got angry again and said i'd rather eat my own crap than be a drone like you what i'm doing is making real art and it's something your robot brain will never understand now or in the future so i actually feel sorry for you he said stuff like this in front of a girl i was with who got so enraged that she left and told me to tell them that she's sick or something that's it i duck and lost it we were handing out mics to talk about our favorite memory with john and i took that opportunity to say well john your pictures ducking suck no wonder nat geo rejected you you're a 27 year old barista with no college degree mooching off your parents and taking worse pictures than any jacket with an iphone camera you're not going to amount to anything in life so just i get cut off here his dad grabbed the mic and shoved me john came charging at me but everyone just held him back the rest of the guys were like get him out of here and i got kicked out no one has talked to me since the incident and john blocked me from all social media our group chat has been pretty silent too john also apparently made a roast post about me i don't know if i should apologize to him or not sorry for the long post i know john is an idiot but am i the idiot i don't understand why all of the friends are saying nothing when john is taking a piss on op but starts defending jon straight away after op starts to stand up for himself what kind of friends do that they're not friends not an idiot op and well done i don't care for my family as much since they plan on leaving everything of value to my brother because he's a man let me just start off with it's not about the money this is just the final straw at least from my perspective i'm my family's firstborn but i'm a girl my brother is a boy and we both hail from a patriarchal european christian family where it's expected that women should both study find a job marry have kids but also not be stingy over their share of inheritance that usually goes to their brothers which is okay i have my own life i'm a grown-up person and i don't rely financially on my family nor do i need anything from them it still kinda hurts it began when i was seven or eight when i had to do chores that my brother was excused from because he was a boy his driving lessons were paid for mine weren't when my father planned on getting remarried he divorced my mother he told me that he can't have two women living under the same roof and that i should move out so his wife could move in so i did move out now i'm in my twenties i don't live with them anymore but when i come over my grandpa and grandma ask me to iron my brother's shirts vacuum the place wash the dishes when i ask them why can't my brother do it he lives with him they say he's a man as if having a pee makes you physically incapable of ironing your own damn clothes i sometimes do some of this stuff but only because my grandma is old and i can't watch her being used as a house slave for every male in my family from their perspective i'm probably selfish and i don't understand that they paid for my education cared for me when i was sick tried to minimize the traumas i had in my life from things irrelevant to this story and they loved me in their own way they do love me and they do care for me things aren't that black and white i love my brother we're close and we die for each other if we had to i love the rest of my family as well some more than others this isn't a big thing since i don't rely financially on them and i don't live with them but these little things carve themselves into the picture you have of your family edit somebody told me to edit the post to clarify my brother's stance he wants to share the inheritance with me and he had his share of problems with my family just like i did just not regarding to the inheritance he's a true bro i should add that my brother was the one that took care of my family when my father told me to move out so i can in a way understand why they would favor my brother but then again moving out wasn't my choice i was a teen as i said my father told me to move out because he was remarrying now my family is telling me my father didn't mean it and that it was basically my own rebelliousness that made me go away deep down i know i'm not the idiot but i also feel guilty and grabby i don't understand why op thinks she is selfish or an idiot not selfish and not an idiot it is so cruel to tell your daughter to move out in her teens because his new wife is moving in and he can't have two women living under the same roof what the duck really and opie is saying they love her in their own way i don't know i'm just speechless i feel very sorry for o.p i hope her brother will share the inheritance with her a bit of backstory is needed to explain her mentality her father ran an extremely successful construction business that his father left to him in a large city he regularly was winning multi-million dollar construction bids and once he asked his now wife my fiance's mother to marry him he told her to quit her job and that she wasn't going to work anymore now to us i'm 28 she is 26 and we have been dating for about three and a half years now we both have student loan debt up to our eyes and the only reason we have a house is because her father gave her one about two years ago there is no way we could afford a house right now yeah student loan debt and various credit card debt we both have her family is wealthy and her father is great but he also believes in making your own way i respect that and am super grateful for what he has done so far with the house and bailing us out a few times when things got pretty bad so now to us i proposed to her two months ago and it was all great both families like each other and we get along great however last week my wife-to-be told me she put in her two weeks notice and is extremely happy to finally be a wife and not work anymore uh what we had our first major fight right there because we need her income to survive especially if we are going to have a kid in a year or so like we plan to i'm not in a position like her father was to fully support a family on my income alone not to mention her debt piled on top of mine also if she never planned to use her degree once she got married why did she take all the loans i also found out she would have zero student loan debt if she went to what her father calls a real school she went to a local state college because her boyfriend at the time was going to go there even though she was accepted at other schools now i'm not going to argue her dad's an ass to pay for college at one school and not the other or blame her for wanting to be with a boyfriend at the time and taking student loan debts to go be by him that's the past and when you think you are in love or are in love you do some stupid things sometimes however i cannot marry her if she honestly won't work now that she's a wife i get that it's her mother's kind of fairy tale that happened to her but i'm not wealthy enough to do that we talked about doing that for three to four years once we have a kid because i do believe that a child should always have one parent around and not just daycare babysitters because daycare is extremely expensive then once our kid gets into pre-k she should return to work part-time then full time once school actually starts now apparently that plan we had is moot and her new plan is to never work again because i popped the question not cool and her mom is fully behind her decision the dad is way more level-headed and took me out to drink and told me there will be no bad feelings if i back out because i shouldn't be expected to do that unless i'm in a financial position to do so am i the idiot if i give her an ultimatum to work or not get married i also don't want to get married on the back of an ultimatum i just don't see that being healthy either edit her father agrees with the stay home mom until the kids are in school so he was going to give us what she would have made in four years to cover her staying home once we have a kid however that stops once the child is in school her new plan is to just get pregnant and have a kid every few years even though we agreed to only two children odd situation but not a forever deal okay guys so this woman was raised to believe that after she gets married she won't need to work and can be a stay-at-home mom that's the example she had in her family and it looks like nobody told her that sometimes it doesn't work out that way i am surprised that her father told op that he will understand if op backs out looks like he understands what kind of person he raised i think op needs to cut his engagement right now and have a serious talk about everything and not leave anything on the line op's fiance has the delusional thought of having the lifestyle her mom had and that's not realistic she clearly does not realize the financial emotional and physical burden of having kids and the impact it will have on op money is one of the top reasons why marriage doesn't work out [Music] [Music] you

Channel: Ask a lawyer

Views: 25,683

Keywords: redditt girl, reddit man, reddit family, reddit money, reddit inheritance, reddit entitled parents, reddit, r/askreddit, r/entitledparents, r/girl, r/man, r/wedding, r/money, r/inheritance, askreddit, askreddit girl, askreddit man, askreddit family, askreddit wedding, askreddit inheritance

Id: eMGm0nYuTaA

Length: 20min 33sec (1233 seconds)

Published: Mon May 03 2021