Britain's Compulsive Shoppers (Mental Health Documentary) | Only Human

[Music] my name is Jasmine Harmon and I know firsthand how devastating a compulsive disorder can be also in my life I felt like my market stuff was more important for me it was purely a compulsion that you can't control I've helped mom and people all over the country deal with their obsessive behavior Get Rid now I've become interested in another secretive condition so you actually keep your living room locked compulsive shopping I don't know why I can't stop myself we all shop of course but some of us shop much more than others I think I've spent about nine thousand pounds just on shoes I will be out and then all of a sudden I see a bargain I forget really how much I'm spending it just continues to just buy and buy and buy things that we don't really need I explore what happens when shopping spirals out of control you really take them all I discover the roots of the problem run deep I haven't been in there since I put all the girls clothes in and the impact on shoppers and their families I do feel pushed out to be honest with you can be far greater than simply overspending I don't want to have shopping taken away from me because that would be like my whole world come to an end [Music] it's thought this as many as 8 million people in the UK have a compulsive buying disorder shopping is my life like I live to shop I'm not married yet shopping is like my husband that my companion I've been told about 30 year-old Dibner a self-confessed shopping addict love you they thank you capable of spending thousands in a single transaction I do feel as if it's out of my control I might not want to buy but I just buy it she's filled a wall of wardrobes with designer jewelry shoes lasers and bags this was 3,000 this was 1600 and the wallet was about 700 pounds I got credit cards that's probably the worst thing that could have done despite living at home earning 500 pounds a week teaching and writing about cookery and co-managing her dance restaurant Dibner is struggling to fund her habit I'm in about seven thousand five hundred pound debt these earrings are like 200 pounds each to 2250 when I can't go shopping depresses me I've cancelled to work just so that I can go shopping I know that's not a good thing I can't imagine there being absolutely no shopping I don't know what I would do what else would I do if I didn't shop what would I have to look forward to nothing there'd be no life without shopping I don't think I've ever met anybody before who sees shopping as their best friend or their life partner you know you can't have a relationship with shopping it sounds silly doesn't it even to say out loud but deep nur really feels but that is the meaning to her life the trouble is she's getting into debt she feels depressed if she can't go shopping to me that sounds like quite a serious problem dinner already has more clothes than she could possibly wear but I see no signs of her slowing down how much did you spend yesterday oh I didn't want to but trying to not think about it that's quite a shopping spree yeah most of the things she buys a push to the back of her cupboards and still have their labels on that's quite a lot there you haven't used yeah but then when you go to the shop and you see it it's just that moment and you just like oh that's really nice or what the hell just buy it you're not in control you're not you're not really able to say no I'm not but I'm not buying it no I'm unable to see that who's in control the little voice inside of me here 600 pounds you look like you don't like them they're not my cup of tea is the honest really but that's doesn't matter yes I'm not gonna be wearing them 485 pounds yes think I said to Mum right that's it now I'm gonna start saving up because I'm gonna buy a car have you already got a car yeah but the car I've got is the old Mercedes there's a new one coming out in a few months a new shape so that I've got my heart set on that and it's really important to have the new shape yeah and I'll take it on lease and then if I'm paying that off every month I know I'll have that pressure that might stop me shopping so much all just might get you in more debt means does that ever cross your mind that you could stick with the old car and you could have the extra money every month to pay off your debt but I wouldn't you wouldn't why not I'll probably just use that money to buy either shop more or I would go and get the car so the way you look at it is that that money you might as well use on a new yeah I use a new cart before otherwise you're gonna use it on shopping yeah which makes sense no it doesn't I'm looking at all of this and it's actually mind-boggling to think how much money's worth of stuff you've got here yeah it's got to be like hundreds of thousands of pounds worth of stuff yes a lot of stuff on first meeting Dibner you could be forgiven for thinking she is spoilt but actually the honest truth I think is that she is not in control I know from my work with hoarders that compulsive disorders govern though people that have been and I think that Dibner could well be in that category [Music] not all shopping addicts get their fix from high-priced purchases [Music] [Applause] I'm on my way to meet a single mum evany whose eye for a bargain is out of control I have to say evany lives in sari with her son's river and chance I think their mum doesn't spend a lot of money but boy does she buy a lot of things whoa Wow how many pairs of shoes do you think you've got a thousand no thousand pairs of shoes but have you worn all of them they will be worn they will be walking I don't actually go out to buy shoes I will be out and then all of a sudden I see a bargain so are you saying that a thousand pairs of shoes happened by accident totally none of these shoes were planned is it not what are you and it's been more than 20 pounds if anything in any of these shoes I'm saving ok prime example these boots down here I got three pairs for a tenner they were such a good bargain I actually put time pace 9 pairs dude it was amazing I can't even express how fantastic it felt that day it's like an escape from your day's work or you know and financially you're ok with buying all of that stuff yeah because eventually I am pay off the debt so do you buy on credit card I do how much debt have you got I've got about 6 grand ok ha if I paid the full price a thousand persons that would be ridiculous it would be but it's already ridiculous as I said I don't plan to go shopping but I don't like shopping but shopping likes me I think come to me come to me secret storage compartment you are kidding me are you actually joking how do you find anything dunno just a couple of scarves and hats it obviously makes you feel good having all these things to create a hug in your bed are there you go there's a missing voice yeah they replacing my man I don't have one and I'm sure they said give me more if I'm honest I find ebony a bit frustrating it's hard to know when she's being serious or not she doesn't see herself as a shopping addict because she doesn't even like shopping shopping likes her evany hides the problem from herself by cramming bargains into every nook and cranny including a locked room I'm not yet allowed to look in at least seven e-stops buying when the shops shut behind closed doors all over Britain some compulsive shoppers feed their habit around the clock online when I wake up in the morning the first thing I think about is what begin on that day 56 year old Dean is addicted to online auctions spending more time with his computer than with his wife Karen it's almost a full-time job for doing it could be eight hours a day because if something finishes at four in the morning he would stay up till 4:00 in the morning one day I would buy probably 20 items maybe more it could be a new television it could be a car camera here no another camera candyfloss makers sunglasses watches I've forgotten the tea party coat that one that's brand new that one it does some of these clothes are quite expensive goodness are that how much money I've spent on the moment lights account or prayer level all the tags on Oh never even be more even be more man I'd like to buy guitars equipment Hawaiian shirts a caravan in fact he did bid on the boat thoughts fortunately we didn't win that because we've nowhere to put it I mean he did have five cars at one time we didn't realize it was a toy no I thought I was buying a metal big save for a good price it's not clear a feel of when I didn't really get excited it's the thrill of the win I think it's like gambling in a way I suppose and if somebody was to outbid him by five ten pounds he'd be beside himself we could have bought a small house by now yeah it's quite embarrassing really I feel embarrassed about it Dean and Karen have been married for less than two years Karen's under no illusion as to where she comes in relation to shopping he spends an awful lot more time now than ever and they do feel a little bit pushed out to be honest with you is if you Ben gets more attention than I do so yeah it's has got out of control I would prefer to shop than go to the pictures our goal to an event it's taken off my life you really take my my life and I just think about all the time Dean squirrels away a lot of his buying in different storage locations across Yorkshire but still their home has become unbearable for wife Karen prompting a drastic move to a bigger property in the same village as you can see has we just moved these are all the boxes I've come to find out more well it's got to the stage where we couldn't have anybody over to stay even the grandchildren because we couldn't get to the bed oh all the things I bought was on top of the bed with nowhere else to put them we had to move really the postman has like a satchel there's a net either then he went to a little trolley and then it got that body at a little van it has to come with a van now when you figured out my parcels your solution is to keep putting things in storage and keep buying a Deans already filled every cupboard in their new house his purchases are spilling into the spare room you just got a few here oh these are just all brand new one news never come out of the plastic yeah never even talked about that thing some children's watches as well yeah suitcase in a suitcase full of sunglasses imagine it's that one I think then when you're buying a watch online what's going through your mind it's just a case of paying them do you have plans for them and you put them in this box what happens is that you'll get things on eBay so you'll leave it on your desk for a while so I'll put it in one of the boxes and then you forget all about it and that's how it starts to stuff I see so for you the excitement is actually that moment of purchase yes sometimes I say I'm bidding on something I think oh god that's just gonna go in the spare room what's inside this house is the tip of the iceberg because he's got storage full of cheap tacky plastic junk for want of a better word I've forgotten all about those the team doesn't care about he doesn't even know what's in those boxes and so it seems really pointless but still he can't stop Dean spends eight hours a day glued to online auctions but I'm not sure he really knows how much money as well as time he's wasting so show me some of the type of things that you're looking at online at the moment all right at the moment I just bid on this one and I've won this for the kitchen there it is we can look at the pictures now I think it's 1 pounds which I think I've got a bargain there and so how do you feel having just won that fantastic it's like scoring a goal that footballer suppose it's it's that thing that you get you know that elation of winning the bed how much do you reckon you spend like each week whore it goes and I'm not sure because I don't really but the fact that you have absolutely no idea about how much you've spent not not worrying to you at all um I have an overdraft at the bank so Dean's oblivion to his spending is staggering hopefully Karen can shed some real light on his finances do you know if Dean's in debt yes he is definitely do you know how much yes are you willing to share I think it's 15000 really mm-hmm right so that makes this situation a lot more serious it just I really do worry that if Dean carries on the way he's been going he is going to do irreparable damage to not only his finances but also to his relationship because it must be so hard for Karen to just have to put up with it on a daily basis when it's completely unnecessary I really want to help all three of the compulsive shoppers I've met so I've come to one of the few medical institutions in the UK that identifies the damaged shopping addiction can cause I'm hoping to find some answers from lead consultant for addiction dr. Niall Campbell I have seen lots of patients who have significant shopping problems it's not recognized by the medical profession as a serious symptom the harm that's done and the consequences are enormous but taking the financial consequences and then the amount of time that they spend doing it instead of being with their family interacting with other people being with friends I think it's a huge issue and that we've got our head in the sand about it with the people I've met a lot of them don't really see their shopping as a problem sometimes even defining themselves by it that's just what I do and there seems to be an element of denial is that quite common mass of the key is recognition like any other addiction that there's something wrong and if people actually acknowledge the fact then they can reach some sort of solution could you liken compulsive shopping to drug addiction or alcoholism or gambling we see a lot of similarities of those kind of addictions when people shop and buy things they can get a little bit of a rush and that's probably a bit of a dopamine rush like one that people get when they score drugs or when they put a bet on and people will say well yeah I'll feel about better it brought it home but then there's a big downward surge when they they feel guilty about it so it's a you know so there's a negative aspect to it which is why we often think of as an addictive thing are there any practical steps or exercises that someone who's addicted to shopping could use well compulsive shopping we see as a symptom of many conditions so the therapy is aimed at what unhappiness from the past what unhappiness currently about relationships your situation then trying to change that it's about what's behind it [Music] so this is where the rest of your stuffs hit isn't it this is our storage space I don't have enough room down to my future husband better have a big house that's all I'm saying so where did your love of shopping begin I think I blame my mom and dad come on as a child they spoilt me whenever I used to go out with mom she always used to buy us something when Dad was with us she was shaking the take us in the shop and say right guys get what you want would you say that you're addicted to shopping yeah for sure what makes it an addiction the fact that I can't stop and I think if I did ever stop well someone did try and stop me I don't think I would be declined I wouldn't be where I am today if I didn't so you would lose your identity yeah I think I would because there's a lot more to you deeper than just shopping there is I think me as a person I love children and I think if I had if I ever had kids which I will I'm sure in the future I think that will make me you know forget shopping because my love of kids is even more extreme than my shopping so yeah that makes me feel kind of sad I think she's lonely and I think the shopping is almost a replacement for having someone in her life to love and to cherish and so instead she loves and cherishes all these other material things [Music] I've decided to pay tipless father Gullu a visit at his restaurant to see what he thinks of his daughter's shopping and her views about what might have started it she told me a bit about her upbringing and she pretty much had everything that she wanted and do you think that has made her worse I would say I am to blame a little when we got married you know the longing for a child I'd been going to temples to shrines we waited nearly six six years and our prayers were answered that was the proudest moment and I wanted to get her anything she said she was like a little princess she still is how does it then make you feel that dipnote says shopping is her partner and shopping is the biggest thing in her life I think that is not a very serious problem drinking is a serious problem or drugs is a serious problem than shopping but if Dibner is addicted to shopping could that not be just as dangerous or as harmful and as limiting to her life as drinking or taking drugs no I don't think so she's a free person that's how I can put but is she good because Dibner has said to me that she would love to have children and that she thinks if she had children she wouldn't need to be shopping so much because she would have something else to fill her time but by spending so much of her time and her energies and her efforts and her money of course shopping is she preventing herself from getting to that point she's taking her time to getting the right person and of course I think once she gets married she will then realize how she's got to maintain her lifestyle things will change I think you know in a way what she's doing is how she is so I cannot change too much of that talking to dipping as dad so many little things kind of fall into place but I don't think he really got the fact that the shopping could be getting in the way of Dibner living her life and moving forward with her future it feels to me that because shopping is universal something we all do it's all too easy for compulsive shoppers and their families to bury their heads in the sand [Music] I'm going to see ebony today and I'd like to get to the bottom of what is going on because it's all fun it's all a game but I think that's a veneer I'm hoping she'll let me see what she stores in her secret room and open up enough for me to understand why she's filling her house with so much stuff so really good bugs actually yeah definitely blank is electric blankets how many did you get five and if you have a little bits and pieces oh come on tell me what else I got two jackets three clocks heard of her as she's but my foot was paying me so that's gonna buy a pair I got this really nice Brian a cassette a CD three those donuts three croissants oh and now I see why you've got three packets of each yeah they were reduced absolutely I need went out for tortillas and what happens then you go out to buy tortilla and you come back with so much other stuff I don't know I didn't even want to stop but if I don't expire myself no one's gonna spoil me so I might as well do it so when you buy things for yourself what are you doing there Oh am i doing I'm making myself feel happy oh oh well why don't you show me where you're keeping your stuff you seem like you really don't want to complete mess you actually keep your living room locked yeah okay okay so you stole quite a lot of stuff in here then suppose we decorate in I try and find someone to help me decorate and you're planning to decorate well three sets of wallpaper I'm not quite sure which one to put where you've all just bought three sets of wallpaper without knowing where they're gonna go yeah but there was learn to power 50 H I just wonder if sometimes you get swept up with an idea and you buy all the stuff to go with it like the wallpaper and the paint because it's on a discount and then whatever it is you're planning to do with it doesn't materialize I see the bargains are buy the bargains when I bring them here I think what can I do that then I do something with it right the other way around so it's completely driven by that you seeing a bargain yeah and you think I've bought it now I've got to make use of it yeah what about all this law and some of my tools they just as good as shoes really yeah this is new I said I cook wonder do you have much use for named Wanda yeah I will be be using it very soon I said more tool boxes more yeah more tools it's just dawning on me the size of what you're dealing with on a day-to-day basis when you're going out and you're tempted to buy something it's not just one type of thing no it's another tool box down now and does it matter if you use them or not or if you need them or not I always used tools eventually [Music] it's a really sad situation actually I was totally not prepared for that I thought she's a girl who likes shoes she likes jackets she likes clothes straightforward but she's got these projects that are on the go but they're not really ever getting started what's in there then some more tools and now seeing everything makes me realize this is much bigger than I realized in the beginning and definitely a much bigger issue than she realizes herself at the moment in Yorkshire its Dean's favorite time of the day quite a lot coming today and it's a big excitement it's a little buzz that I get that every morning I'm here and I'm waiting for him so I never know what's coming Karen sees things differently they're just thinking oh my god how much what is it do we need it SAP's really because it's a waste of money that's money that we could be doing something constructive with hi there thank you one two three four five six seven eight nine ten today it's like Christmas it really worries me to be honest with you on a daily basis I'm trying to find where to put things it's exciting thing we could get you can't get into this one what's this go away oh wow I want to see what else I've got as well so you can take that a little bit better we'll see what's in this one now it's the bidding and the winning and then opening the prep the parcels for the like presents to him I think I think that's probably how he looks at them and but it is it's just that thrill the Hawaiian shirts is something that I do buy and I do collect them it's like my watches and guitars and things that is actually essential that because everything else to match I don't think that 11:15 that's our Dean's mine now today's purchases he's on tomorrow's it's gone up I've still been outbid so I'm gonna go up to 15 pound and 9p now just continues to just buy and buy and buy and I'd say 75% of the items that we receive are things that we don't really need want or require I'm the high bidder I'm winning the bed yay Dean's on his fourth marriage I really want him to spend more time with Karen and rediscover the world outside of online auctions I'm asking him to try something he's never done before go cold turkey delete eBay okay Karl Karl you go I feel like I lost my hand I bet you're surprised that really surprised that you've actually done it but you are yeah think of all the time that you can have to yourself yeah well I will once I and time I don't for you as well that'd be nice Dean's agreed to try and stay off the auction site for three weeks I think the hardest part of not going online is and I'll do it error it's just automatic for me we could be sat watching TV but I'm always on there looking and what's happening but that's gonna be the hardest part not having it there it sounded me Dean will be starving himself over habit he's fed eight hours a day day in and day out for years most like a lot of break this isn't it's like just get no more time to do something like this because for a cup of coffee in a sandwich there's nowhere near as what you do yeah to help Dean I've suggested he uses some of the time freed up from shopping to get rid of the stuff he's stored in friends garages and warehouses all over Yorkshire by selling it as a car boot I actually bought this from eBay to try and learn the key budget of all the things on there all the different notes I think I bought at the time on the whim really just - I think I've played it once a lot of it's just a lot of rubbish really isn't it by facing up to the things he's buried in boxes I hope to open Dean's eyes to what's truly important please bring back some memories now look amongst piles of discarded purchases Dean stores memorabilia from his past life as an 80s pop star that's me with black lace there it just means so much when you look back on your life what you've achieved and Donen look I'm upset that they've just been put into a box and closed up and put away in storage and the other things are immaterial really they're not you know they mean nothing when you open that up and find what used to be a brought a tear to my eye that it I know you can always live on your past but it is just lovely memories of affair of my life as Dean's pop stardom waned online shopping filled the gap its seductive stuff and easy to see how without it his life feels empty another day this is getting harder and harder not to go on we only said a sneaky look on yesterday but I did manage not to to buy anything in West London I want to see if Dibner might be up for a similar challenge not just to stop shopping but to think about why she shops and how else she might spend her time say 3 weeks 3 week fix I think that would be enough time to you know it would be a challenge but it would be enough time to see how it affects you 3 weeks is a very long time a son 3 weeks is a lot noticed like the Sun realistic two weeks I could still two weeks you think you can do yeah and how will you go about avoiding the temptation to shop I'll have to find something to do yes exactly that is exactly what you have to do go on a couple of dates doesn't sound as exciting as shopping but yeah because Tiffany may be laughing now but as I leave her to it I know it's not going to be easy today my first proper day I really need to buy something and just getting me down this making me a bit depressed I guess right now it just feels like I will be dropping for ages [Music] actually starting to piss me off speaking Greek 20 miles away in Weybridge I've suggested a slightly different strategy for ebony from kitchen blenders to garden tools evany gets her bars from bargains going out for one thing and returning with multiples of anything on offer I bought three of these two key bears and I bought four of these little mini ones but she's cluttering up her house and her life with stuff she doesn't need and can barely afford so I've asked her to write a shopping list and stick to it okay everything that I need from one shopper doing after visualizer shops so dog food but despite best intentions just one second it seems she soon falls back into old ways let me show you know pound team and what did evany find it for dudu yes I did by more than 150 P I'm sorry but there is no way I am going to walk past them when I caught up with ebony two weeks later I quickly realized she'd fallen off the wagon big time 40 inch flat-screen TVs and tablets don't come cheap right so you've got two of these I ended up with two these one and one of these yeah so that's new as well I'm not sure the shopping list idea helped at all so given everything you've just showed me all the shopping that you've done have you got a shopping problem what got this hard question when you're looking for a one-word answer I don't think I have know and even with all the discussions and being aware of everything you're buying all of that hasn't altered the way you look at your shopping not really no that's what I'm saying I'm still doing the same shopping I'm not not doing the shopping I'm still it hasn't got me to stage one so guilty that I'm actually stopping the whole point of having a shopping list yeah is not to make you feel guilty if you buy something that's off the list it's just to see if you yourself can remain focused and aware of what you are going out to buy and how easy it is for you to get led astray and come back having spent 200 quid on a new TV it's not about going and spending you know a couple of quid on stain remover for this show you're wrong because at the end of the day if the whole exercise is that I suppose to stick to the list then it doesn't matter whether ease a spray really difficult to stick to the list whether it's a spray or whether it's a TV I've done it I've gone out with the list does it give me a buzz no cuz I've just gone in there I've got what I have to do and then I've got go to work I think I've got come back do all the so there's nothing exciting in my life I'm not going out partying I haven't got a partner please tell me where is my little bit of okay so was that shopping list exercise pointless in your opinion yeah a little bit you could say if Urban II doesn't have a problem with her shopping Who am I to argue but it's not just Eponine that her compulsive shopping effects guys so tell me what do you two think about your mom's shopping it's ridiculous wait too much she hopes so much what do you think River oh yeah it's just like crazy she always like goes out just like by random stuff actually never use it's just no she doesn't have the money for it and if she's not gonna use it what's the point of buying it's weird not being able to go to some places of my own house cuz there's too many stuff in there what would change if you were able to get the living room sorted and cleared just the fact that we would have an actual house instead of a giant like storage this is it I'm determined not to give up on ebony [Music] it's three weeks since I asked Dean to go cold turkey from his beloved online auctions I've been thinking about him quite a lot since I last saw him and you know it seems really sad but you know he did so many things and had you know this fame and fortune and now he's a person who would rather stay in and shop online rather than go out with friends or with his wife and socialize and you know that sort of turnaround is it really puts things into perspective [Music] so how have you been since I last saw you I have kept my promise yes I have a LOF had a look I've been a little sneaky look at something that's a rolls-royce that I was looking at once I didn't bid or anything but he used to have a rolls-royce many years ago when I lived in Spain but I can't afford one anymore so that's gone shopping is because of memories from the past yeah how I used to live Dean's made another big step not only has he not bought anything new he's getting rid of much of the stuff he already has I'm wondering what Karen makes of the new Dean what's he been like the last three weeks and he's not been going on I'm shopping he's been a little bit like a lost boy yeah and after you'd been here last time there were still parcels being delivered ten days later and it was things he'd forgotten that you ordered but he's lost interest it doesn't even go to the letterbox for the letters now we've eaten out a lot so that's been nice so it's had more time I think he secretly is realized that he's got a little bit of a problem going on here and it's opened his eyes quite a lot [Applause] oh wow gosh so much isn't it just sorting everything out what we're gonna keep and what we're gonna take from the car boot yeah they're all memories scrapbooks and things are closed in to do the cruise ships so you must miss that life of making my cords and yeah I miss being on there and you know in the limelight if you like I think that's one thing to save things but I think it's another thing entirely being dependent on yeah bidding on something and winning it before that little rush of yeah of happiness that it gives you and when you get you know a huge success or you recognize ya in the street or you know you've got fans coming after you that must give you that it must be on a much larger scale yeah you know when you win a bit is it like a round of applause yes it is really yeah it's not getting that round of applause I think that's what it is a little bit of it might be what it is why I do that like when you say in that way yeah yeah you're going back to this in the in the future I don't think how will but why don't you think you will I just don't think um of you think I was no deal really I mean I think it'll just slowly get back well I don't think so I think I can do it I think and I've realized now I really hope Dean can prove Karen wrong for her sake just as much as his in West London after two weeks without shopping Dib has lost no time returning to old habits whatever happens with her shopping no matter how much she shops she's always gonna have a roof over her head there'll be food on the table she's gonna have a car to drive so really she feels that there's nothing to lose whereas when I look at it I see that what she's sacrificing for shopping is actually a future it's having the life that she really wants the perfectionist in dippin a roast to the challenge but she clearly didn't enjoy it I was a bit depressed on some days yeah I was a bit down when I was busy I was still myself and I was still happy there were just times when I was Moody and a little bit depressed and I think those times especially when I was left alone when I came home from work and no one was here think about what you just said it was when you came home there was nobody here and you were on your own do you not think that maybe that comes from loneliness you know you're you're 30 years old and you live at home which is fine but you've said that you'd like to get married you'd like to have a home of your own is the shopping not just standing in the way of you doing those things that you want to do no I don't think so because even tomorrow if I did get married I don't think I would stop shopping completely it would still be a part of me because you know something I love to do but I would never let shopping kind of stand in the way when I meet mum I realize dipping as shopping covers up a much bigger fear than of being single do you think Sushma that different all find it hard to adapt to not being with you more than the shopping you know me I mean leaving the house that's what stopping up I'm getting no and I think you okay yeah I'm upset you it's almost but nicer to just stay here with mom and dad and not have to really grow up and pay bills and get married and leave the security of home if I could I'd give up shopping tomorrow so long as I could stay you know with mom and dad forever it's really interesting because it seems like your main problem is not shopping it just comes out in shopping but actually the underlying thing that's going on is that you don't want to leave home now Kyle like I can't even think about the day when I have to leave him like I just can't think of it without getting upset but she has to go one day and his heart isn't it [Music] it's that lovely safe bubble yeah well they were secure to begin with I really thought that her shopping was holding her back and preventing her from moving on with her life if the day comes when Dibner feels ready to leave home and get married and have a family of her own and at that point maybe her shopping will subside because she won't rely on it so much she won't need it anymore but I think until that day comes Dibner will keep shopping because she's clinging on to her childhood [Music] while Dibner seems desperate to keep hold of what's familiar evany wants nothing more than to escape her everyday life today I'm here to help evany do some clearing she's overwhelmed by all the different projects that need doing by the decorating by the clutter by the garden and so she goes out and when she goes out she ends up shopping and bringing more stuff back to the house and I think that for a lot of people and ebony being one of them the state of your home quite often reflects the state of your mind and so I think clearing the decks and making some space will be also really important mentally for her I persuaded ebony to recycle some of her clutter including some of the many things she's bought and never used what you want to start with - let's just go for [Music] first a cigar nice see boys doesn't this feel much better is it nice to have the kids healthy yes but you know they're only women you're here I swear is it true your mom said that if I wasn't here you wouldn't be helping yeah don't you know you don't get paid for it you might need another skip edge it haven't even touch the show it will hardly even scratch the surface of the bargain evany has put off clearing her shed for several years and I've got quite a few baby stuff in there how long have they been in there since they were babies Nate wasn't for them you know because I'd miscarriage a couple of oh you know I started getting the stuff you get excited once three months is up this is quite a few years but in a couple of years back few years so I haven't been in there since I put all the girls clothes and I've just bummed about the back there and I'll a there's a cot in there and baby walkers and so there's a lot of baby stuff in there so it's got go I didn't realize that evany had had a miscarriage so going through the shed where she's kept all of the baby stuff it's gonna be really hard as well and so it's kind of understandable that she's put it off and actually going shopping is one way of filling her time and just avoiding doing all these things that are a bit overwhelming a to do it on your own and be to go back and relive those painful memories it's gonna cry out at least let's get the clot out [Music] you can't be a fog babble to just you know I'm gonna have to keep that one hmm you you have got an absolute heart of gold and you're keeping everything going for everybody else you should be really proud of yourself I hope ebony can see the positives of what she's achieved today that's nuts isn't it oh my gosh it's like a big brick has been taken off my shoulders it's really liberating oh when you look at it do you also partly think what a waste possessive stuff I've bought yeah it is a waste but I'm not in a rush to do it again so are you not know it's been a really good exercise in that way this has been a shop in this well this is definitely a good exercise have you also learnt that there are much greater pleasures in life and the buzz of going shopping cause dude of course so today totally beats the buzz of shopping totally absolutely 100% one day can't change a lifetime of habits but one day can inspire somebody you know for ebony today has been way better than any shopping trip I'm not sure she'll ever resist the lure of a spur-of-the-moment bargain altogether but at least she knows there are bigger buzzes out there I'm keen to know if it's the same for Dean in Yorkshire whether four weeks after I last saw him he's been able to confound Karen's doubts and stay clear of online auctions I'm careful what I buy I mean I've not bought anything enough from eBay since this was spotless that's progress yes yeah when we first met you were quite reluctant to even go out and socialize it was cause you had bits that were finishing and you need yeah yeah yeah so how has stopping online shopping changed your life I think it's brought Karen and I closer together I think we spend a lot more time together time that you wouldn't have had that's right yeah it's been something on there well she said it's better now your computer and everything else is in there and we sit in there without any any interruptions that we can communicate both together and I can honestly say that I'm not addicted anymore which is great amazing yeah I'm in a different place now I'm really proud of Dean and really happy for Karen I've learned that for compulsive shoppers a disorder that masquerades as a harmless pastime can in reality be addictive and dangerous used to combat underlying unhappiness it ends up contributing to it what I've realized is that when people who shop compulsively acknowledged that they've got a problem and begin to understand the reasons why they shop then there is hope and with the right help they can reclaim their lives [Music] click on-screen for more videos of extraordinary humans you

Channel: Only Human

Views: 1,204,574

Rating: 4.7419796 out of 5

Keywords: britain's compulsive shoppers, only human documentary channel 4, only human youtube channel, only human documentary, Only Human channel, only human documentary 2018, britain’s hidden hoarders, human interest documentary, mental health documentary, ocd documentary, Only Human, full documentary, mental health, mental health awareness, ocd, hoarders (tv program), human interest, my strange addiction, strange addiction, amazing story, compulsive hoarding (symptom)

Id: OXf3tBnyxDo

Length: 57min 52sec (3472 seconds)

Published: Mon Jan 07 2019