Breaking the Silence | Strongmen and Mental Health Exposed

here we go to tell work my heaviest weight Depression was lifted by opening up in the gym we have Luke Highland Oak stman in 2019 he took the leap into full-time training left job on the oil gas industry that's what it looks like much it is 2021 was his best year to dat it at the age of 36 he took the Europe's strongest man tangle we we had a big gy session time sorry that and he's a big supporter and supports number of mental health initiatives and speaks very openly about it so our second guest is Tom the albatross stman in 2021 he became the world's strongest man in California and repeated that feat in 20122 sting his place in history Tom also has autism and he speaks really passionately about inspiring people who also have autism so that's going to be something we talk about later so welcome Tom to the [Applause] stage I was hoping you could tell me uh a little bit more about it and I guess how you got involved in the competition first off yeah I mean world strongest man it's in the name so it's a I mean you know when you have a goalen strong man this is a title that every single strawman wants to win um and I I used to watch strawman back when I was five six years old Jeff capes you know the uh sigmon Marius Pinos is the legends that a lot of people know and then obviously you know watching kind of Lukas as well Luke's 10 years older than me so he was into the strong man in the bodybuild and stuff and seen the world strong man on TV and I was like yeah I want to I want to do that because picking up cars and putting logs above your heads lifting Stones is it's cool and not many people can do it so I just thought you know why not so yeah and like that's the most prestigious sport uh title in the sport in every single strong man ad aspires to be the World's Strongest Man and you know when I kind of got into the sport and St I thought you know I'm never going to be this and just thought I'm just going to do this for fun but um yeah like I said watch Luke told my family told my m and Dad and were like you want to be you want to be a strongman you want to go lift weights and pick up cars and that then do it so yeah but anyway um it's yeah so well strong man is was was my dream at about 16 15 16 years I talk about child R autism uh later on but 16 17 years old I said to you know a few of my friends my family that I want to be the greatest strong of all time I want to win well strong as man Luke was competing in Scotland strongest man and I had G and watched him and I was like my brother's doing this kind of stuff why can't I so yeah I just said to him look that's I'm going to go on this journey I'm going to be the well St man I'm going to be the first Scottish guy to lift that title above my head and I had the vision I visioned it every single day and it was in 2021 yeah when I won my first title 2021 that's when I realized you know winning well STW is man and it's just it's unbelievable I think you know PE people people understand what w Str man is now I think 10 11 years ago when Jeff capes era was around he didn't do it but anybody now knows it's on Channel 5 every single year it's a Christmas edition uh and just to be able to win the World STW man title and to watch out your family that's the kind of thing that lives in your memory you know to able to go and watch it like any other person does but then to see you on TV winning it is cool but yeah that's kind of a we thing about world sters man but I think most people in this room have probably watched Jeff capes and know the kind of old ones and then it kind of went off the British team for a while because there wasn't very good British guys and then from 2017 2018 onwards it's kind of floated up as one of the biggest Sports in in UK now maybe even in the world and like I said about like loads of people know about it so what does the day in the life of a strongman look like what's your training how many calories are you taking in what's recovery looking like you told me 8 10,000 calories perf this morning which is a lot so yeah we're a bit bloated today guys we were doing a an eting video earlier on uh um so we're bloated more than normal um so a day in the life of Tom and myself is is kind of varies you know Tom's a different athlete to me I'm a different athlete to him I'm a different person to Tom and as like I say Tom's a different person to me so for me personally um I I have a huge huge beli in in cold water therapy I think that is my almost non-negotiable in life you know that has it Set Me Free it Set Me Free from the the restraints of of of this sometimes we're locked up in here and our thoughts can [ __ ] us and all this so forth stuff all this BS of the world today um and I started doing that back in 2016 um when we lost our mom so before we lost M um we were okay strong men you know we were doing okay um but since that day when M passed away things really started to change you know that's when we started to make a plan becoming a a fulltime strong man Tom becom a full-time strong man in 2020 uh we made that a possibility so then that drastically changed my life my my life was then 100% strong man how do I become the best athlete I can be and hopefully become a better person along that Journey so um on a daily basis I get up try and get the sunrise every morning uh in the sea so in the summer time that can be half 4 in the morning in the winter time it can be to 9 in the morning depending on on the the sunrise do that then we have breakfast Tom and I eat a lot together we eat um a huge amount of food um so it's it's generally about 8 to 10,000 calories a day um that we eat so that consists of so for breakfast Tom will have 10 eggs because I'm a little guy I only have eight eggs then on top of that we'll maybe have some porridge because we're Scottish and we like porridge um and then a couple of hours later we'd have like a classes a snack so it would be a protein shake and some fruit then for lunch it would be our pre-workout meal which is usually the closer we get to a competition it's like a cheap a cheap meal so that can consist of like a heavy pasta dish Burger something really easy to consume because we're trying to fuel our bodies we're not bodybuilders we're not going on stage posing whatever in a thong that's only on a Saturday night usually um so we eat a lot of so we probably eat about a kilo of meat and that consists of predominantly red meat before a competition because the red meat what red meat does for you it increases your natural testosterone it gives you a little bit more aggression leading up to the competitions which we rely on we need that up come on man like that's what we need when we compete you know you need to be aggressive you need to be switched on so that's that's kind of what we do but then on a training basis Tom and I it's a full-time job for us so we train Monday to Monday to Friday so Monday will be dead lless Tuesday will be pressing Wednesday will'll be active recovery Thursday will be a leg day Friday will be a sorry Thursday's a leg day and then Friday's an event day the event days take maybe 4 hours normal gym sessions is 2 hours on top of that we do a lot of recovery as well we've got a sa in the gym a cold tub in the gym we speak to a clinical psychologist to look after our mental health as well as we cold water stuff that we do um we see a chiropractor acupuncture physio massage therapist um yeah so it's a full-time job you know that's that's pretty much a day in the life or a week in the life of a strong man um and then on top of that we we have our own business selling merchandise we've got online strength Academy that Tom and I both run um we have employees we have social media we've got a documentary coming out we're speaking to Hollywood movie company about our story and bringing that to Hollywood um so it's busy it's really busy so we're not just strong men we're just men working hard so Tom you touched on autism there and you actually said before that autism has been your superpower and how it's almost helped you to become the best in the world so I think everyone be interested to hear what you kind of meant when you said that and how's that Journey been with you until today yeah so obviously you know I've been diagnosed of as a at a really young age and you know obviously you know back in school and childhood and stuff that you get you know you get booed you get labeled different things you you feel left out of things you can't mix with people you can't mix with different people out from your family and your support group so when I was about uh when I started stman about maybe 18 19 years old obviously it was a new sport for myself and I really struggled with the mental side of things in stman like physically when I started stman at 18 19 years years old I was bigger than you know I was 6' 5 6' 6 1 140 kg the weights were fine but it was interviews I had to get Luke to sit in the room with me and do all the interviews with me the MC's would announce my name I'd see all the crowd and I would just bot I would just run back into the changing rooms and not want to compete and for myself and then you know seen 500 600 people staring at you and thinking this in my head like this I'm Different why can't I be like my brother why can't I be like these other athletes and be able to compete in front of these people and they're all going to look at me and I think in my head they're going to laugh at me they're going to think ah he's rubbish he's not going to be this he's not going to be that and uh it was you know it's very hard to take although they didn't say that from in my head that was what was going through my head and going through my mind and I went back I was going home I was trying to talk to my family my wife and I said L I don't know what to do cuz um every everything I done I just quit because when things got hard and I got uncomfortable I would just be like I don't want to do that it was the same with football the same with anything so about 18 19 maybe 19 no uh just before I W world strongest man in 2021 I was speaking to as luk at a psychologist and uh she kind of just tapped into my brain where I never ever thought I could tap into she started I started learning about uh tunnel vision kind of you know not FOC focusing purely on myself and focusing on uh how to kind of make my how how to concentrate on stuff in the gym so like I could go into dark thoughts I could come out of dark thoughts I could go into thoughts you could come up with happy thoughts and she called it the championship mindset so it was a risk for myself because when I joined it it was about four or five months before well show was man and Luke had already talked to her so I was just like you know it's not going to make me a worst athlet so why don't to do it so within two or 3 months talking to her I just started realizing autism is powerful like very very very powerful it's not a label I'm one of the strongest guys in the world I've got this thing I wrote on Facebook before I won World strong man 2021 one month before saying Tom stokan well strong as man and that's because of this psycholog and that's because I ended up saying just randomly uh autism is a superpow and when I put 100% into something when I'm visually looking up something and saying I'm going to be well strong as man I'll wake up every single day and feel Invincible I'll feel like nobody in the world can touch me nothing will get me down just like you know you watch the superheroes on TV Batman Superman can lift cars they can do all that kind of crazy stuff and for me that's how I was feeling from 2021 was like you know I've got this autism but I can beat 30 other guys that haven't got this disability this whatever you want to call it this label so I'm going to prove to people that having an Autism isn't a label isn't a thing you can you know lock yourself in your room and you're not going to have a successful life it's a thing you can go out you can put your chest out and you can uh be great be great at what you do and I want to be you know I want to be good at strowman but I just wanted to get so many people with Autism that right kind of you know be able to speak out about it like and since I've said it's a super power the amount of people that I've kind of opened up the amount of people that you know come to my gym the amount of people that say I want to be the next Tom Sten you know that's winning well strong as man's good winning well strong as Man twice as good but for someone to say that they want to be the next th Sten or a 12-year-old coming up to me 11-year-old come up to me parents coming up to me and say You' changed my child's life my child Now talks my child now goes to the friend's house my child's now a you know going to school my my fiance is now a boss at a job it's unbelievable what this word can do instead of labeling it as a you know a label as a disability as whatever you want to call it so I just wanted to put a spin on it and said you know because I watched these superheroes when I was younger I was like you know I am a superhero people with Autism wake up every single day and achieve more can achieve just as much in life as somebody without autism and that's how I wanted to kind of put the spin on it and from going forward in schools you know and talked anywhere in life that's how I want autism to be remembered I right not mental strength actually what you guys do to Capt your mental strength and day today you're not have your physical health but also your mental health so yeah obviously I'm a strong man I go to the gym a lot of the time and that helps me but uh in recent years um I've been exploring a little bit more of like a spiritual side of things so you know I think we all have a connection everyone in this room we're all connected you know we have to be because we feel we have emotions if someone's sad usually we become sad if someone's happy we become happy so in my head and stuff not just my head but what I read and listen to and so forth is that we all have this connection Mother Nature has a connection we're connected to Mother Nature if if we feel sad a lot of the time we just go for a walk in the forest or the woods or down the beach or do whatever so for me this this is something I really really truly believe um so when I go for a swim in the morning I go for a walk along the beach I walking my bare fot bare feet in my Speedos walking along the beach and I feel absolutely amazing like absolutely insane so that must mean something it's not just me feeling something surely if other people do that you're going to feel something as well what we live in today is a concrete jungle and that's that's okay but what can we do to feel better there's trees here there's Parks here I'm a big hippie at heart when I walk through the forest or the woods in Scotland I'm touching the bark I did that in London today we were filming with a guy he said did you just touch that tree I said yes I touched that tree why not but that can make you feel better you're connected as living things we're all living things here it's there's so much that we don't know and we're so closed off from things that we don't know people think I'm crazy cuz I go into the sea at 4:00 in the morning in the summer I'm thinking no you're crazy because you don't do it like CU it makes me feel amazing so why wouldn't it make you feel amazing it doesn't cost anything anything going for a walk in the woods touching a tree smelling a flower like these things are really really special and it's beautiful that we can do that so as soon as we start to take things for granted you know seen a flower blossom it's beautiful our mom passed away 20 2016 our dad plants 7,000 sunflowers in his garden every summer and that is my mom that's our mom there every summer we get to experience that I get to see her I get to connect with her so just because she's not here in the physical doesn't mean she's not here in a spiritual way I'm not religious in that sense I'm just spiritual I'm trying to find different ways of connecting um but yeah training is pretty cool as well cuz it makes you feel good if that's not your bag go to the gym go for a walk eat well but if not I'll see you in the forest in the Parks smelling trees sorry so what do we think in terms of the role that male stereotypes or stigma still play our own mental health in today's soci that stop men from getting the health they needs I've got some strong opinions on that um it's it's awful like it's it's disgusting how um I don't know how much men struggle it's not just men it's it's people we all struggle we we all do um but young men in in in the world today I'm not so young anymore I'm 40 next year or so I don't think I come into that category but young men we of often get tarnished at the moment as there's a lot of like from the media it's like toxic male toxic toxic toxic there's a lot of negativity towards men especially and we're not bad people like men we fck up yeah we do [ __ ] up we mess up sometimes but it doesn't we don't deserve to be taken our own lives committing suicide cutting ourselves hurting ourselves like like you said you know saying you're a bad person you're a bad person you're a bad we're not bad people we just make mistakes and and that's that's okay some mistakes are are really bad you know we do up men are sometimes bigger and women guarantee my wife would testify to that um but we're not bad people and it's just as guiding them it's like you know having these ambassadors having this open talks being more open with people you know we in all talk like I said before we're all connected you know men women and everything in between we're more like each other than we are different so it doesn't matter what we are what our genders are what our Sexes are whatever it is you want to call yourself we're still very much the same we're very much equal so why can't we just be equal why can't I just sit here and say you know what I'm really missing my M today it was her Anniversary 2 days ago so why can't I just say that and get emotional and be okay do you know what I mean that's that's something that we should be able to do as men as women and everything else that's something that I really believe and the more we open up as men as women the more we can be emotional if we're feeling emotional let it out there's no point holding it in because it's like a bucket it'll just keep coming up keep coming up and then it'll just explode you'll try and do something insane like taking your own life in this mad world it's mad but it's beautiful go back flower smell a flower touch a tree walk in the sand go to the cold water go to the gym eat amazing food how amazing does it feel when you eat amazing food it's you oh my God this is amazing go do that do you know like when you find someone that you love oh my God I love you so much the next day you don't okay that's fine that's just maybe last it doesn't matter you're still having these mad emotions and mad connections so why not just have that why not just experience that I'm okay whenever I go to this the the sea in the morning I cry I miss my mom so much every day she's this is the tattoos of my family my family mean everything to me but you guys are my family because we're all the community we're all here so that's that's what I think I think it's so bad what the the the mainstream is trying to do you know they have a it's like oh you're not good enough buy this do this be this we can just be simple and be okay with that we don't have to ah told you have opinions on this um we don't have to be the best at everything we don't Tom and I we don't have to be the world's strongest Brothers you don't have to be the best consultant in the world just be happy with what you do keep it simple go eat some nice food and enjoy it just smell the roses like they say that's what I do and it stops me from blowing my head off sometimes because sometimes at the end of the day when things have been messy that's all I want to do but then I know I've got a responsibility to this big the guys that work with us my wife my mom who's looking down at us still connected to us I've got that responsibility I know it's going to be okay in the morning because I get to wake up I get to see a sunrise I get to go to the cold water wow this is amazing oh my God it's so cold I'm happy for that next 9 10 hours and then I feel like blowing my head off again and then I start again that's I don't know yeah so whatever sorry I don't know if I answered I don't know I was i' got a bit so I saw the day and described your friendship group and support network like a tree the idea is that you have leaves in your life so these are people who provide shade provide color you also have branches so these are people who will be there throughout the seasons and if they're with you for a long time they can grow strong if you get too far to the end of the branch it might break and then in life you've got the groups these are people that are always there for you no matter what who hold you to the fire and will be there throughout your life who the roots of your life who are those people who really hold you to fire are always there fore and and what those people me to you if you don't say me Tom I'm really offended yeah I mean obviously you know being that autistic kid I think number one in my head is my mom I think my mom was my biggest supporter she cared for me she you know sacrificed and we had five siblings so she sacrificed all their their time Luke's time my brother's time sister to make sure I was all right so yeah see I mean you know when you talk about Roots you talk about family my mom's the top of the tree cuz yeah she was unbelievable like I could open up that was the only person that understood me as an autistic child as her child as a person going through life you know going through puberty going through high school going through workplace she was the only person I could go to and talk about how I was feeling you know if I took meltdown she would understand it all if I acted up in public she would understand it but she would never ever ever question me she would always support me at whatever I wanted to do you know when I was a we boy I wanted to be a professional footballer that was my dream in my whole life was when I had a football at my feet when I was younger I felt the happiest kid in the world and I told her I said I'm going to be a professional football she said do what you want but it's crazy but yeah she never ever said you're not going to be that so yeah she was and still is to this day I know you've got tattoos of sunflowers I've got you know angels on my I talk I point to heaven when I do competitions she is and always will be my number one route cuz you know she made me the person I am today and she always gave me belief gave me hope you know I got told by a lot of people that I would never leave my mom and dad's house I would never get a wife I wouldn't be able to you know move out and do things myself and I proved every single person wrong and that's because of her and then obviously my brother Luke you know I mean my family are really close but myself and Luke since you know since doing strongman um I've took a lot of kind of I've I've learned a lot from Luke you know I was kind of doing interviews how to make myself a better person physically how to make a a better person mentally and uh he's kind of been a mentor to me you know I've kind of luk be my best friend since you know obviously my whole life but since maybe 16 17 years old since I first walked F into the gym that's when you know obviously Luke being 10 years old than myself when I'm younger you know when you're a 10-year-old kid and he's 20 years old you're not going to have that same relationship so we were never close so when I steep foot into the gym and when Luke said to me you know I want to help improve your life I want to take you to the gym and see what you can be cuz before that I would you know lock myself in my room I didn't want to be here I didn't want to do any of that so to have a brother that you're not very close to to say you know I want to try and change your life and I want to follow in his footsteps I've seen how much it helped Luke I've seen how much it helped him with his behavior how he got closer to the family I just wanted to be like I want to be like Luke and then you know watched him at competitions watch him just Bloss him as a person and I was just like this is unbelievable to see how going to the gym lifting weights turns you into this person and I was like I want to be that so yeah Luke just from 16 years old 17 18 19 years old took me under my wing and he was basically my PT he was my chef he was he was everything to myself and you know between him and between my mom those two people help me become who who I am today and you know like I said Luke would sit in interviews with me I'd never be able to talk in front of these you guys five six years ago I would I would even be able to talk in front of one person when I first started strawman Luke had to come into the room with me he sacrificed a lot of his prep time as a straw man to help me get mentally better as a strong man as well so it was you know very nice to have that because obviously strong man's such an individual sport and Luke's got his worries to do deal about he's got his training to do I've got mine but he always sacrificed his own training his own achievements to help me and you know it's unbelievable because like I said I wanted to quit strongman when I was 18 19 years old cuz I couldn't H the interviews but to have look there to kind of you know let me breathe let him do all the Talking let him just be that person that kind of put all took all the pressure off me and was an unbelievable thing so yeah that's a massive thing and then to be able to then own a business with him to travel the world and do strong man together it's you know it's any is any brother's dream to be able to you know when you're you know when you're born and you're like you know what you got to do and you know you say in 20 30 years time you know your two brothers are going to be the world's strongest men and you're going to be competing together it's it's a dream and it's now it's a reality and it's unbelievable to be able to do that with and to have a business to do strum to travel the world together to do literally every single thing together and then probably my last person my wife um I met my my wife when I was 17 17 years old and you know this is one of my biggest achievements because again you know a lot of people said to me you're going to be the last person to leave your mom and dad's house you're never going to get a wife you're never going to get a job you're never going to do anything I think it was one of the second or third people to move out my mom and dad's house I got married at 21 years old just my mom saw my wedding before she passed away and that's the thing she said to me she said she wanted me to be happy she didn't care about strawman she didn't care about titles she just said I want you to find your worth living in this earth and I want you to get a wife and I want you to treat her with respect and I want you to get a house and be able to look after her you know that's what I did and you know I owe a lot I owe a lot to Shen my wife you know 21 years old I married her at 18 a met I I was too scared to tell her that I was this autistic kid because she was outgoing she she was just a very very confident person but you know she she'd never ever judge me she I literally sacrificed her whole life she sacrificed her job she sacrificed everything to make sure that my strongman career was number one in both our lives and yeah she's been by my side ever since and she's took the role of my mom as a support person as a wife and she comes to every single competition with me she's not missed a competition for the last 10 years and you know and it's been it's amazing to have that kind of fre branches fre roots in your life that can of I actually you there I want you to succeed and want you to be the best version of yourself I thought ask look how would you how is to hear that from Tom how do you talk about your relationship and what what is like from your point of view uh oh okay I got a little of bit emotional listening to Tom when he speaks that's the nicest thing he's ever said um so yeah that was really nice um you know oh sorry um sorry sorry sorry I'm just in a big emotional mess sometimes um that really touched me um but to see Tom um like Tom doesn't remember sometimes how uh how tough it was for Tom when he was younger um and when he says it was a real struggle for him to speak to people um it was you know it was it was a real big thing and he wouldn't leave the room he wouldn't leave our our house um until he was like 14 15 um and to see um you know work alongside L'Oreal and do this amazing campaign um that's like that's my mom up there that's our mom looking down just beaming man that's like wild to see Tom this little autistic kid from the highlands of Scotland becoming the world's strongest man but I mean we talk about strength we talk you know what is the World's Strongest Man lifting the heaviest weights isn't the world's strongest man it's it's overcoming adversity it's overcoming things that set you back or that should hold you back and you shouldn't amount to anything but to me I just love him man I just like this guy that's sat here is is is like so humble he doesn't realize how how special he is and that's the that's the true Testament to Tom he's a very very unique person person uh and I mean that in the most respectful way because he is just enormous in sture enormous in heart and he's the friendliest loving person that you'd ever meet and to see people come up to our little town in in garden and families come up and say like little kids that are autistic and can't speak like look up to Tom and just smile that's all you need you know you don't need to have words you don't need to have a vocabulary to to to kind of put out your feelings like Tom gives kids on the Spectrum or whatever the terminology is people with additional needs or with with with no way out Tom gives those people hope and that is that's the biggest title I think Tom will ever have is is that inspiration that he gives to so many people um and it's just a pure pleasure to be here I'm so happy that I get to hear Tom say nice stuff about me which um makes me feel really embarrassed emotional um but it's really nice and it's a huge honor to to be here with you guys as well sharing sharing your story it's it's so touching and um yeah just I'm just an emotional message [Applause] so it but my son's neurodiverse as well and he was like so excited when I told him that you guys are speaking so I'm going to use you as inspiration Goodbody and then try a little bit I know that's good that's [Music] good

Channel: Stoltman Brothers

Views: 35,022

Keywords: Tom Stoltman, Luke Stoltman, Stoltman Brothers, Scotland, Strength, Strongman, Squat, Bench, Deadlift, The Word's Strongest Brothers, Stoltman, MyProtein, MyProtein Athletes, Eddie Hall, Gym, Hafthor Bjornsson, Travel, Adventure, Sport, Highlands, mental health, self harm, suicide prevention, holistic health, social change, behavioral health, mental health awareness, neuroscience, mental health awareness month, self improvement, mental health matters, self help

Id: gj08YFK2MlI

Length: 32min 10sec (1930 seconds)

Published: Sat Jan 06 2024