Born Too Soon: Part One (Parenting Documentary) | Real Stories

the birth of a premature baby is one of the most disruptive experiences a family can have and with prematurity on the increase it's an experience more and more people are going through it Olivia [ __ ] sorry with 40,000 premature births every year Britain has the highest rate in Western Europe far more babies are viable down to just stations such as 23 sometimes even 22 weeks we have more assisted reproduction you end up with multiple births and they tend to be premature honey scare the living daylights out of me tomorrow they're small its wish I can't do anything for them there aren't enough intensive care cots so tiny babies end up being moved from one hospital to another this film follows two families who face up to the reality of having a premature baby [Music] Sara Middleton has a high-risk pregnancy there are concerns she may deliver far too early today she's been admitted to hospital for observation she already has two daughters Georgie nine and easy to washing Sara and her husband Matthew are both nurses when Sarah got pregnant this time they assumed it would be a straightforward pregnancy the radiographer did the first sweep favor much on me and she said have you had fertility treatment no we haven't and Matthew said he said his twins I said it's triplets absolutely stunned into silence I mean literally silent for about an hour okay do you see that like all multiple births Sarah's babies will come early the question is how were we I see what they mean by being quite spooky when you get Sarah is 25 weeks pregnant for her babies to have a chance she has to get through the next month without delivering the worst thing to do would be to say at 28 weeks if the top woman were getting into trouble to deliver because I'd then end up compromising to the other one that was potentially quite sick - you've got to make very hard decision section we make those together with you us and pediatricians a normal pregnancy runs to 40 weeks triplets do well to get to 36 for the next few weeks Sarah will be confined to hospital doing all she can to keep her babies in we were very aware that the earlier that they were born the less chance they stood of surviving I can quite honestly say I feel sick not associated with pregnancy but just with the worry and the thought of them being born now because I know that if they're born now they will be so tiny and the journey that they would face would be so huge I'd spent each and every week with my heart in my stomach just thinking I just need to get through another week [Music] three weeks of pasta and Sara is having a twenty eight weeks can one of the babies is showing cause for concern this is the one between one and two and three so have so much thicker membrane this is the thinner one there you see that the triplets are identical twin boys and a singleton girl the twins share a life-giving system but one of the boys is growing at the expense of the other if this doesn't improve an early delivery may be necessary it's not clearly abnormal but it's probably at the higher end turned up in on this yep okay now we were really worried at the beginning if they were born too small well because mommy's stayed pregnant such a long time I'm not gonna be as small as they could have been so every day that I stay pregnant is another best day if the triplets were born now they could survive but the chances of severe handicap would be very high doctors encourage parents to confront the worst case scenario as each week goes by the chances improve I can't no stage this gives you any guarantee that they're all gonna be all right yeah and that any any individual one of them is going to survive if and hopefully they do all survive and that of course doesn't mean that everything unfortunately is guaranteed to be okay there may have suffered some form of injury inside the womb before birth anything specifically a brain injury here and then you need to be aware of that they may have long-term problems yeah okay specifically thinking of either learning problems or problems moving and walking arms and legs okay I think we're both very much in agreement that if things from your perspective are that they're fairly grim that we wouldn't have a prolonged treatment whilst you know things were attempted or continued because um I personally don't have the psychological or the emotional endurance for that and I know that now I know I already know that okay I won't see you for a good 10 12 weeks and everything you know I mean it's hard enough having one baby and worrying about it but you know to kind of like think that you're gonna have three and then just the reality checks that you have to face and you have to take on board that you know it's highly likely that the journey is going to be really rough and that one of them is going to have difficulties you'd be really lucky really very very lucky if you take home three live babies at the end of it three Live Well babies at the end of this Isak Sidwell's was born unexpectedly four days ago when his mother went into spontaneous labor he arrived three and a half months early Wayne just one pound 12 ounces his parents Sarah and Mark have been told he has a 50% chance of survival you get one oh man socially the commonest course for babies being born early is probably infection of the womb which stimulates the mother to go into labor but there's a huge number of babies who mothers go into premature labor and we never know the reason for it those who have very very premature babies that the first thing we have to be upfront honest with them is that their baby may not survive but I try and put their fears to rest as much as I can but depending on the gestation unfortunately sometimes it is high-risk and fraught with danger I feel cheated as my pregnancy in some ways because there was all that excitement and looking forward and getting everything ready which I haven't been out to do it all happened of so much of a shock and you think your baby's gonna die that little dot in there is mine but I can't pick him up when I want so I can't put him to bed one-on-one so like most people would he doesn't feel like my baby the whole responsibility part has been taken away from you and you do feel totally useless really and helpless few things in few so it we can maybe start to think about how we like because some other local things thinking was doing mind and also certainly put something that we can start to produce little treasures and all these little armbands in his pants Chrissy Israel is helping Sarah to find a way of bonding with her baby every time we go in we are invading his face we touch him and greet him before you do anything and when you finish you touching the so funny kid it's a slow start a new process and working up to to really knowing his cues as well as your own so that's I leave that there having a premature baby in itself is a crisis there's some mums and dads it come in and they they can be wibbly-wobbly but they take it all in and they go away and I'm sure they have a good to cry when they get out of here and it's the other mums and dads who just feel that they can't go or leave sir is on a high you can see it in her eyes or excitement this is what she's long forth and hey presto is here even if he was only to take a third of the you can do it my boy from her hero be as good survivor but she has to understand it is still very very fragile and there's going to be days when she thinks that she can't take anymore Isaac is Sarah's first baby she's 40 and has tried unsuccessfully to have children for 15 years after five years of IVF she was told she would never have any she went into labor at 25 weeks finding out you're pregnant in the first place was a big shock and then going into labor as early as that was even more of a shock I actually thought that was used as panicking and making them even worse but she was convinced she's having a baby that day yeah I said please can you just have a look do an intern the only way oh the two centimeters dilated he can't have the baby here we were told they couldn't take babies at less than thirty thirty two weeks they said they might take a while to find me somewhere to go and there were shielding tablets down me trying to stop the labor by then it took them five hours to find somewhere to go and for the ambulance to come and Bristol was their seventh Hospital they tried it was a nightmare and it took two hours in the ambulance for me to get there and I really thought I was gonna have him in the ambulance very few hospitals can deal with such extreme prematurity there were no intensive care cuts available in any of the hospitals near to Sarah's home however south Meade Hospital in Bristol two hours away made space for her they wouldn't give me cesarean it was too dangerous and the Midwife kept telling me you've got to push this baby out it was very very frightening I honestly thought my baby was gonna die and I actually had him um Oh force on my hands and knees which was not very nice for everybody but when he came he bounced a tree right in front of me shot across the table and the Midwife have beer on me going where is it stopped your blanket now sweetie I feel sad more than anything and think why me why what have I done that's cause this Sara Middleton is now 30 weeks and living back at home the doctors are hoping the babies will stay in for at least another month mom's worried just three babies three cops you know not having neonatal cots you know I mean just the three young babies are they going to be born here the what's you know what difficulties are they going to have to overcome Sara's mother dot has moved in to lend a hand she said she hadn't felt the babies all day which just panicked me completely she went spared and had a rotten night's sleep because the babies kicked her all night I lay in my bunk listening to his each enter and thrash around thinking I wonder what was happening there and as I say she she was fine next morning but I thought as if I'd gone to bed you know had no sleep worrying about her I felt sick the whole weekend just worrying about it it creates things in your mind doesn't it that what is going to happen and you don't want them to lose any of them you know I mean not after all this I mean that would be tragic it's Sarah's 31 weeks can still nine weeks to go for a normal pregnancy but today Mr Le's has noticed a serious change I just want to show you something 21 a triplets 1 and 3-year ok triplet - can you see what's happening here you probably haven't seen this before when the umbilical artery can you see they're very significant flow yeah there's a reverse there yeah let's go talk at the computer when I looked at twin - a triplet - you remember I was concerned and I saw the baby's heartbeat yes slow down and then go faster they'll be fine and then I saw it slowed down again yeah every few seconds so I think we're getting occasional dips yep in triple T's heart rate I can't even talk to you and there's less fluid around that baby I think we need to deliver you [ __ ] sorry I'm not saying within the next 30 minutes but certainly soon next few hours nothing to eat or drink wanted to be in it sort of like an emergency where she was rushed she wanted to come in and have a day in and get herself prepared but now she hasn't got that anyway not to worry we have to go in from Daddy I wasn't expecting that at all though that baby just by looking at it before why did any of the fancy test that baby wasn't moving so much the fluid around it was much less and the baby's heart was beating quite slowly they're gonna deliver me this afternoon it's all gone a bit pear-shaped you know I've got to go to the labor ward and be delivered and monitored fairly cots constantly really saying I'm about to lose all my mouth fluid I'm drying up the neonatal unit are trying to free up three intensive care costs when all of a sudden you have a trip of delivery particularly it's unexpected there are very few units now that will actually have just that number of free cuts just lying about waiting to be occupied so it always causes a huge amount of stress to the staff it's a huge logistical exercise we have to try and find other cuts in different hospitals Mattie's running around like a headless chicken yeah bless them I don't know whether we will have them initial space as follow with him I don't know if they'll be able to stay here the consultant and the Registrar still kind of inquiries into other rooms and fawning around to move other babies Hinchinbrook let me say what's happening I don't think Matthews gonna get here in time so all over today there's a shocking night Matthew has made it just in time [Music] are you seeing anyone all right let me think going in shop scratch horrible horrible big thing okay twenty nine people are standing by as well as the usual delivery staff each triplet has its own neonatal team [Music] [Music] the babies have been delivered safely but being triplets they are two weeks less developed than a single baby born at 31 weeks this makes them very vulnerable other babies have been moved out to make space for them in intensive care Triplette one is Gregory weighing 3 pounds 12 ounces he and his sister Ruth are both having problems with their breathing she weighs 3 pounds 4 ounces Louie the little one who triggered the emergency cesarean only weighs 3 pounds but he's managing to breathe on his own the next 48 hours will be critical Isaac is 10 days old still over three months before he was due to be born he started having bradycardic his heart rate slows down because he forgets to breathe which wouldn't be a problem if he was still in the womb [Music] all right he's not gonna blow my sweetheart [Music] there's a good boy come on back up again [Music] mommy's been poking her sweetheart I'm sure because he is so early there's so many things that can go wrong he can up bleeding on the brain and problems with his heart his lungs his liver his kidneys anything really I don't know whether I think I am coping I'm not sure I suppose other people think I am coping very well but I don't feel all the time that I am we do it on purpose don't you to worry mummy and daddy go Yeah right Sarah's husband Mark divides his time between the hospital and running their antique shop it's a five hour round trip and Mark can only manage to see his wife and baby twice a week he had a couple little heart bumps where's his heartbeat drops down but he's been getting it back himself which is encouraged and he's been really bumping his heart back up again but he had a couple in the night so they say well it might be an infection so we put some antibiotics in him when he do get a bad day in with quite distressing you know I mean I'm wandering around the shop thinking what I'm gonna do myself shall shut the shop go to Bristol or wait for Sarah to ring me and see if she wants me down there because in a way I don't you can do anything way down there far from old his hands and you know and out protects you if I got so I tend to think that I can't show it sell while I'm down there because if she's upset I've got a big kind of life you know hard for her I have won that off themself sometimes I've got a little bit upset yeah it's really hard being here on my own but saying that you don't want to leave I want to be here I wonder away from them and then I'm scared of going back in case he's died while I'm not there [Music] two weeks on and Isaac has been screened for infection this can be life-threatening for a premature baby with an undeveloped immune system it is quiet he wasn't making any noises when we touched him or did anything with him his heart rate dropping and his saturation so he had a four workouts unfortunately for him [Music] we know that you would go down here a [ __ ] at some point and we just hope in there it's just a small blip oh dear bit of a flutter there all right while Sarah Middleton is still in recovery her sister Nikki goes with Matthew on his first visit to the triplets for a newborn and his brothers is a little bit live so there's obviously been some sort of from twin-to-twin transfusion but nothing major little Louie who caused today's emergency delivery is doing better than his brother and sister yes he was the one that was trouble wasn't named he's the reason their hand number one now he looks as if he's making a bit more hard work of this known as a three day or something we're setting a little bit and he brought out the requirements he's talking to you no idea two beautiful men yeah yeah yeah I mean and it's just it's moving and I think you know you see it I don't send you and it's not isolated stressing is it they they're so small and it's wish I can't do anything for them giving you you just can't even trust me look after them you really can't do it you told Sarah is moving to the maternity ward on her way she's allowed the briefest of visits to her babies I was actually glad then that I had to be taken away because it was too overwhelming to stay because they were so small and I couldn't do anything you know they were separate from me so I was not nurturing them in any sense and they were attached to wires and monitors so although somebody says they're fine and there I had no control over their environments or what was happening to them and it was actually all handed over to somebody else and that was very very unsettling on her new ward Sarah is surrounded by mothers holding their babies I've missed that know that that closeness and that smell and that would snuggle and that nuzzle that you get and that sense of completeness when you hold them I'm still waiting for to go from there being pregnant and feeling kicks and moves to feeling essentially empty but with nothing to show for it going from having right close contact with them to having nothing at all and being very aware that somebody else had contact with their loved one and hearing them and knowing that they were touching them and looking at their eyes and their ears and their nose in their face and holding their fingers and I'm talking about it and that I could hear it and I just very much wanted to tell them to go and do it somewhere else and very jealous 48 hours after triplet Gregory was born doctors have discovered he may have a serious problem some blood vessels in his head of burst because the capillaries are not sufficiently developed we've scanned his head again unfortunately he's had a very small bleed into his brain it doesn't seem to have got any worse on today scan so that's good but it's a worry that the fact it's there clearly if it was the bleed was to extend and become worse then we would stop him how far more worried about his outlook in terms of his learning and the possible handicaps later in life trying to scare the living daylights out of me little man regarding Ruth this evening she's had a little bit of a setback and we've had to increase the ventilation again because she's required a certain you know her oxygen requirement has gone up and we're doing some x-rays now and a couple of other tests just to see what the problem is cuz something clearly is not quite right I wouldn't be surprised if a lung has collapsed she's recessing quite a lot is ich eajy so she has collapse I don't know him alright was right back Sara and Matthew have asked for a blessing thank you Father God for his faith delivery and we pray for your continued cleaner and it's only love father God as we asked the other units tiny life we pray for this time but they would know your loving presence during these anxious times of waiting at the end of a day full of bad news Sarah has just learned that the triplets are going to be split off at only two days old that's all I got so anyway you could find out whether there's any space in Welling for me Adam Brooks is a highly specialized unit there is an emergency and the unit need to free up an intensive care cop for a critically ill new baby little louise nominated for transfer to another hospital fifty miles away okay well that's that's useful to know but we turned away last year something like 500 babies because we are there were full to bursting or we have no staff so it's a big problem we work hard to try not to turn backs away and I feel very strongly that we should be trying to admit smallest and sickest babies to give them the best chance found just unbelievably guilty that I hadn't spent more time with him before he was going to be taken away but I knew he had to go and that I again I had no control over it I wasn't the person who risk in making the decisions they need the bed and Louise the healthiest one here so I'm delighted that he's the healthiest one here does mean has to go [Music] I was angry in that it was my baby in that it wasn't somebody else's [Music] I am sorry that we had to do that but it's just the nature of the game I'm afraid yeah no space ill baby on the way and he was very well so I'm very sorry attitude it's okay France very into telling Garden City I'm sure they'll do a fantastic job for him there I'm sure they're wrong it's just difficult and stressful time for parents and the last thing they want to hear is that we're having to transfer their baby out to another hospital not for the benefit of their baby and then many times their babies would you know care is being too somewhat compromised by being moved it's just that it would compromise another baby even more so if we were to leave them I wanted to breastfeed initially and I thought well I cannot breastfeed I can't even pick him up and they explained to me that yes she can express you me milk and will to feed it to him you don't feel like you're feeding your baby is just showing something else in him like another drug really because he's have all the other drugs down a tube I know it's my breast milk and that's the only thing I feel that I can do for him but he's got my milk it's just it really is strange it's not what you expect when you think about having a baby Isaac's infection scare has passed and Sarah's Sidwell's is back to a day to day routine at Bristol she's just learned that she'll have to leave her room on the maternity ward where she's been living for the last three weeks usually mothers move out after a few days but because Sarah is so far from home the hospital have allowed her to stay on [Music] well this afternoon they came and told me that after Friday I need to leave here which I was expecting anyway but I had a bit of an upset with a midwife because she told me that I should go home and I'm not going to go home I'm gonna have try and find a bed-and-breakfast locally because at the moment I'm not happy to be two and a quarter hours away in case there is an emergency it's just too far to get back in time plus the fact that I'm still expressing the milk so that makes it more difficult to do that every four hours [Music] Sara explains her situation to the doctor what was angry when I Ryan had told him he's not very happy with it at all as he says I didn't ask to be brought here we didn't ask for Isaac to be born early I mean this was the seventh Hospital they tried tomorrow I shot the nip out and try and find their bed and breakfasts and within walking distance really all run the bus routes and so I can still be here every day because obviously I need that contact so he knows there is more maze [Applause] Sara Middleton has been separated from triplet Louis for nearly two days his brother and sister remained poorly but stable so she and Matthew take the chance to drive to well in over an hour away to see Louie in his new hospital just makes so much difference when you can see their eyes we are going to find it so hard to be in two three different places at once [Music] the logistics nightmare for the Middletons can only get worse with two children at home and three babies in two hospitals the family is stretched to the limits - six weeks quite easily [Music] Thursday and Friday were very difficult days for me just realizing and accepting that I wasn't going to be the person that God am seeing so I guess that's why these just going to be so important because every time I hold you you have to telepathically send it to your twin okay AIESEC is doing very well for such a premature baby but it'll be months before he can leave hospital so instead of Sarah Sidwell's moving out staff are trying to find an intensive care cot for him closer to home the nurse would go in and say well we found he referred or we found will sterile we've found so instead we found Gloucester Cheltenham to see if we can get you near a home and I think it's like a hotbed system you know one in and one out and they slowly filter the way nearer and nearer home I phoned was step probably by the end of the week something should come up tomorrow right in hospital trained half week two days later and Isaac is off to a hospital in Worcester only an hour from the Sidwell's house at three weeks old and Wayne only two pounds two ounces the move has its risks for Isaac he will have to be accompanied by a doctor two nurses and two paramedics okay so safe journey two or three hours in an ambulance is a long way for a tiny tiny baby like that with all the tubes and everything the thought of that long journey still being monitored and still with him avenues bradycardia attacks was quite frightening [Music] they wouldn't let me go in the ambulance in case anything did happened to him but also there wasn't enough room they told us not to follow because if there was a problem would have to stop and it just would be sheer panic I never thought I could feel so much love for such a little way two weeks and two hospitals later life has become easier for the Sidwell's because Isaac has been moved even near a home to her foot now mark and Sarah can take it in turns to be with Isaac and work in the shop it does feel strange being here but I keep looking at this picture on the computer so it's not too bad [Music] Isaac has made remarkable progress and has moved out of intensive care unless he has a setback he just needs to feed and grow some all summer when you try and change him he stiffens his legs out and won't bend them don't you mate we'll take you by surprise bend your knee bend your leg that's it we've got it no bent you like my can't put a leaf don't bend your leg Louie is on his way back to Adam Brooks to be reunited with his brother and sister after 12 days away The Triplets are two weeks old Gregory and Ruth have just moved out of intensive care and for the first time all three of them will share the same nursery the only tubes they need now are for feeding three babies I'm just relieved sweetheart it's just you don't ever think you're gonna get this far with everything that they say and everything that they prepare you for and three babies a lot of parents once their baby actually gets to the stage where it's out of danger and is now well that they then it hits them and they do become depressed adrenaline can keep you going for a while and most the stress levels are high you can carry on and then when things get better actually all of a sudden you then relax and it hits you every little thing seems to be a worry and it shouldn't be but it is seems temporal when you're depressed thinking about the first few weeks of his life I think I was in shock and I didn't realize at the time just how well he was and it's quite frightening and scary thinking back about that and I found it quite hard to deal with he's is well now and he's done exceptionally well all the way along but he was very poorly to start with they're in Isaac's final week before discharge Sarah is living on the unit to build up her confidence before taking him home when I've got no reason to be depressed but I kept thinking about how things could have been now when I look at the pictures I think God didn't really look like that and I'm not surprised at all my family were shocked [Music] I'm not having another baby it's been too much stress I feel really really lucky to have Isaac and that is the way is because there are so many things that could have been wrong with him and I'm not talking to push me no I mean you're looking forward to coming home but only worry then you think whatever guy was then right is he really well enough to come home we've seen still very fragile and we want to make sure everything's all right for him will it be warm afternoons bad has got the right clothes and we got all the monitors and alarms we wanted to right first one then this one maybe go this is just gonna be surgeon exercise I'll put one in the back here as well simply put three babies in the back of our car Oh Sara they look evil when you're in there Carson's which baby first yeah you don't want to hold her do you just want to have a look at her no she hasn't done a poo she's a good clean girl she's a yeah she's got a nice clean nappy on she keep sticking her tongue out does she know she's hungry yep she's a bit full of wobble didn't she one month later and the triplets are all over five pounds which is good for them but they're still half the size of a turn baby their age the Middletons are coping just thanks to family and friends they stay exactly where you are and then I went in through the next minute Matthew and I were on our knees we were just totally exhausted found the darker recesses oh yeah that sleep deprivation brings on it would surface in the middle of the night you know you'd feed one get them changed get them sorted then they'd be sick you'd feed the next you can get them sorted and then they'd be sick so you don't be on the second or third change and Matthew was so tired you know he got really quite angry at one point just felt like had a total loss of control and what feelings I had and the feelings that I did have which I've become obsessed about were purely negative I have a postnatal depression without the hormones 80% of people with a neonatal experience have a postnatal depression of some sort you might have to get go though the babies are home the uncertain sea continues Sarah and Matthew have just learned that Louie is partially deaf and his twin brother Gregory is profoundly deaf what I'm feeling tired and slightly down actually I kind of like thank God what on earth have I done bringing three children into a world that is so destructive and their sim and when you turn the news on and it's one you know one thing but you know other times you know it's a beautiful world and I've got you know three beautiful children here we go sweet talk on our way home if he's not sick Isaac is 11 weeks old which is still three weeks before he should have been born there has been a problem with his eyes which one of them they've said he'll never have a full complete full sight in but it's not going to be really really bad they said he might have a squint or after wear glasses which isn't the end of the world considering what it could have had we feel exceptionally lucky with him it really is a gift when Stephen wants to draw he doesn't stand on ceremony he just does it Stephens actually one year older than me and I am I remember seeing him on TV when I was younger and being a young young artist myself I think Steven can quite easily falls in my list of people who are inspirational to me he's a real artist I mean he the way he's composing the drawing is just going along and getting the scale so so accurate at the same time is something that you know not many people can do

Channel: Real Stories

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Keywords: TV Shows - Topic, Full length Documentaries, Documentary Movies - Topic, PBS, Documentary, transgender documentary, BBC, Amazing Documentaries, Topic, Movies, Extraordinary people, ITV, BBC 3, Real Stories, Sky, BBC Three, tlc, timeline, BBC Three documentary, Channel 4, Channel 5, Full Documentary, Documentaries, only human, Amazing Stories

Id: gxM-MAyY0Pw

Length: 48min 53sec (2933 seconds)

Published: Thu Oct 13 2016