Books I’m Scared to Read, But Really Want to!

hi everyone this is Mary you're in Mary reads welcome or welcome back to my channel in today's video I wanted to talk about the books that I really want to read that I'm interested in but that I'm very scared of reading um there are different reasons mostly it's volume but some of them is my fear of not having enough context my fear of um the story being too big and massive and having too many characters so I just wanted to kind of share the books that I'm scared of um see what books you are maybe scared of and hopefully I'm thinking that if I talk about my fears they'll become smaller and I'll read at least some of these books I do want to try reading at least three of them this year they are in my plans but we'll see how it goes I had some of them in my to be red forgotten TBR jar but but I still even even when I picked them up I couldn't read them so hopefully this video is going to help me get myself together and start reading this books and if you enjoy this video please like it and subscribe to my channel I'm always very happy to see new people and it helps me a lot and the first book is the second sex by Simon deir and I've wanted to read this book for about four years I first saw it in the bookstore and I was like okay maybe later um sounds very interesting but maybe later and then I moved in with my well then boyfriend my future husband and he had this book and I'm like oh my God this is so great I don't need to buy it anymore and it's still here and I haven't read it yet so this book tells about the Western understanding of what a woman is the exploration of inequality and wom's otherness and I'm very very interested in what SIM deir has to say it sounds like a super interesting book a super interesting work but it's so hard for me to understand philosophy and I have a feeling that we'll touch a lot um on philosophy in this book and I'm very scared that I'm not going to understand again English is not my first language and it's sometimes hard to read philosophy in your native language and then when it's translated it's even harder and my English is pretty good I've been living in the US for more than 5 years now but that's still something that scares me and I can't bring myself to reading this book even though I really want to I want to so much I'm holding this book and I'm thinking like I need to start this book right now but again it's it's scares me I can't take it yet and the next book is The Goldfinch by Donna tart and here I don't even have a logical explanation of why I haven't taken this book yet why I'm scared of it this is the winner of the Pulitzer Prize and I loved uh don n tart's the secret history so I don't understand what it is it's I don't think it's volume cuz uh don tart's secret history was about the same size I don't know if it's plot um plot sounds super interesting to me maybe it's because some people said that they didn't like the book and I'm just scared of making my opinion of the author um worse than it is now I'm not entirely sure um or I'm worried that the book is going to be slow my dad said that he started it and it was very slow um maybe that's why I can't tell I'm really hoping to read this book this year and I've already this is one of the books that I've already gotten in my TBR jar but I never read it still so I'm really really hoping that this year I'll bring myself to finally reading the book and the next book is Edward Ruther for's rusa and here the reason is pretty obvious it's the volume it's 950 page book and I'm terrified that I'm going to be stuck in it for a month or even two months and it happens every time I take Edward Ruther for's books because I've read his New York I've read his Paris love the books but every time I took the book I was like don't do this you are going to be stuck in this book for a very long time and you're not going to be able to read anything else and even though the books are reading pretty easily um they are reading very very fast Still Still um I'm I'm scared of this book I'm scared of taking this book and especially now when I'm trying to make content about books and I should read more than I usually do and now I got this new job that also takes some time um so I don't even know when to take this book now I'm scared of taking it but I'm really excited about the book and I want to read it so hopefully again like with The Goldfinch I will be able to read it this year or at least started this year because I'm actually very excited about the book this book actually traveled with me so much um I think I bought it in 2019 in New York and then I went back home I left it there and then went back to New York and then Co happened so I never came I I never went back home so um I asked my parents to mail this book to me and here it is it traveled like throughout the world and still it hasn't been read so I really really need to change that at this point it's just it's ridiculous and the next book is the brothers karamazov by feder dovi and and I DKI is so tricky I've read DVI the first time when I was 16 I read Crime and Punishment this was a book we were reading for school so I had to read it I didn't have a choice um and I loved the way it was written I I can't deny the beautiful language I can deny the brilliant plot but it brought me into such a deep depressive State I it was so dark I couldn't read DKI since and now I'm 24 it's been what 8 years and I really want to read him but then there is this small fear inside of me that's still there that tells me you are going to get back to this depressive state if you read anything by DFI but at this point it's ridiculous how can I not read the author that I like so much just because I'm scared I really am hoping to read this book this year it is in my TBR I haven't gotten it yet but I know that one month I will and I'm really trying to hold myself to it and actually reading the book and the next book is actually not Fiction it's not philosophy it's this separate genre it's a study it's a study of the strengths and weaknesses of political system in America political system of 18 1931 to be precise it's written by Alexis dville um he was a French Aristocrat and he traveled through Eastern America for 9 months and whatever he learned he put in this book and again here my fear is that I'm not going to understand that I'm going to just suffocate in the language that he used and um in the terms and words that he used and this book was recommended to me by my husband and I'm very excited about reading it because I'm really interest it's so interesting it's it's actually interesting to compare because the author was a foreigner in America and he kind of more or less objectively could talk about what he saw in the country and as a forer myself I'm just trying to see if um if I'm going to agree with the author if I'm going to disagree with the author if anything changed in almost 200 years or it didn't and some stuff is still the same and we are facing the same um issues so I'm very interested this book I'm looking at it and it just it's calling for me but again I'm just very scared of taking it um just because I'm scared of not understanding and the next book is Vanity Fair and I have a feeling that my fear of reading this book is in this particular case is connected to my hatred towards the addition I have it in um I talked about it before it looks like a textbook it's horrible it's written like a textbook the font looks like a textbook I hate everything about it I didn't realize that it was a self-publisher when I was buying it so um yeah I feel like this is the main reason I think this is actually not just the main reason I think it's the only reason why and I'm really hoping to get through my hatred my um unhappiness about the addition and actually read the book If I don't like it I can always give this away to the library if I like it I will buy it in a better addition so I yeah I just need to get over it and the next book I don't have a physical copy off but I've been dreaming about this book for so long so um every time I see it in a store I'm thinking about buying it but then I'm like I don't know it's more than a thousand pages and I might not like it and I'm not sure and the story is so long so maybe there's going to be a lot of characters and I'm just going to get lost in them and this book is it by Stephen King I said before that I really want to read more Stephen King to know what he writes to know his style I read some novels by him I think I read like two I read The Green Mile and I read Carrie which I'm not even sure is a novel I think it might be a story um so I think these are not very good representations of uh Sten King The Green Mile is amazing I loved it uh Stephen King is genius for writing it but I just feel like this is not really the uh genre I'm going for I'm going for his horror novels and Green Mile is more of like a psychological um thriller so I really want to know Stephen King more as a horror author so it is on my list but I'm so scared of not liking it I'm so scared of the volume because I don't know how many characters there are going to be if I'm going to get lost in it and the story is covering a pretty long period of time time from my understanding so I really am not sure when to read this book when is the best time to take it um how long it will take me to read it and if I'm actually going to like it and if if I don't like it will I want to read Stephen King again so I'm just in this weird State of Mind where I can't tell if I should read this book I really want to but at the same time I keep hearing this voice in my head that says Maybe not maybe wait a little bit more uh it's a little too much so I'm still thinking about it but I'm really hoping that I will be able to read it soon and the last book is a historical non-fiction about Peter the Great and I'm super excited about reading this book my husband got this book for me uh for Christmas uh along with two other books about Russian Zars and I'm very excited about learning Russian history I studied it a lot in school but I feel like I forgot so much I have so much like blank spaces in there that I want to fill them and I think uh reading about Peter the Great is so important but here my fear is that I don't have the context I don't have enough context and this was something that was stopping me from learning more about Russian history for so long I don't know where to start from it feels like you should start from the very beginning when there were like tribes and go from there because then you will know everything that's been happening you will know the historical aspect you will know the cultural aspect you will understand why this was done rather than something else I just feel like I don't know enough to jump straight into Peter the Great and I just I don't know how much I need to read before before starting this book so I think I just need to get more courageous and just take the book and just start reading it um but again I feel like I'm not going to have enough context I'm worried that I will need some of the Russian history previous to Peter the Great to understand Peter the Great and these were all the books that I'm scared of reading please let me know if you have any books that you are scared of reading um I really hope I'm not alone in that and thank you for watching this video and being with me I hope to see you soon bye-bye

Channel: Mary Reads

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Id: b6r8Wu1magA

Length: 14min 5sec (845 seconds)

Published: Wed Jun 19 2024