Bob Newhart on The Dean Martin Show - Bomb Guard

whenever I feel a little lowdown I do the same thing most you do I play one of Bob Newhart's albums and that makes me feel a whole lot better ladies and gentlemen once again mr. Bob Newhart some of you may have seen an item a couple months ago about an unexploded shell that was found in London it happens quite often over there they were raising a building and they were digging down the foundation they found this unexploded shell and they still have a bomb squad expert courageous team of men and they go out and they carefully defuse this bomb it takes them like an hour to work off the camp and they publish the pictures always very exciting but it got me to run wondering what would ever happen if a non courageous non-expert team of men were ever faced with a problem of defusing one of these moms so you're going to have to picture if you will this is the the police station of a small eastern coastal city and the Chief of Police is sitting in this desk now this is the only Police Department that has a princess phone hello lieutenant Stephenson here but patrolman Willard hack master oh hello Willard Willard you're supposed to call in every hour you know you've you found a shell on the beach you you think that's unusual do you always finding a shell on a beach it isn't that kind of shelf but what's the matter doesn't it sound like the ocean when you hold it up to your ear well it is oh that kind of show it's probably a dud of some kind rule it out I'll send some men out in it oh is that right Java's I was sort of hoping that was your watch you're making that noise milady I'm gonna give it to you straight Willard you you you got a live one there Willard Lord Willard well it's not that whining well if you've got nothing to worry about I got the manual right here in front of me now you and I are gonna disarm that thing will it well I'm not coming down there no Willard I I mean I just I can't leave don't don't bring it in here will it know whether I have the manual right here in front of me not now describe this thing to me yeah it sounds like a torpedo as some kind well it's probably one of ours aren't any markings on it made in Japan it still gonna be one of ours guys are there any numbers or anything like that on what mm1 14 let me look that up for it em uh-huh not nothing nothing will be well boy you find it beauty there is you know how powerful that thing is well it's six city blocks we'll later what what do you mean you call me back where the telephone booth seven blocks away would well I I know this is dangerous but but if we can save one human life but that's the way you feel about anyway Willard I've got the manual right here in front of me now we're we're gonna disarm that thing if it's the last we're gonna disarm that thing according the manual here there there are four screws holding on a plate toward the rear of this thing you see the screws and now according to the manual those screws should be carefully removed with an LZ 111 screwdriver with a plastic handle and a demagnetized head you know you don't have one hour look I try a dime then whoa you got it all forward now inside there there's a sort of wheel you see the wheel yeah why don't you try turning the wheel of the right seat see what happens what taking a lot faster now is it I turn it turn it back boy uh but will it are you talking to somebody there there's a kid there well get the kid out of there well in it the kid says it's his port torpedo let me talk to the kid he ran down to the beach with it you kept me on the phone here for 10 minutes what what would that noise will it that the toy torpedo just sunk a fishing trawler well it's out of our hands it's in the Coast Guard's now what I'd right you

Channel: dino4ever

Views: 194,824

Rating: 4.9221239 out of 5

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Id: P52pjwY911A

Length: 4min 53sec (293 seconds)

Published: Sun Aug 31 2014

Reddit Comments

[u/googajub]

I'm still not sure. I grew up with Newhart and he's worth a chuckle but never a guffaw. Why was he a comedy star? He's so very mild in both his manners and his jokes.