Black Coffee opens up about his flight accident, relationship status and accepting Christ

what's happening I'm flying man where are you I'm flying um so since I got back um from from my travels and I was home and going through healing um I had gotten mixes from boanza I think I have probably I don't know like 10 different mixes uh um that's all I've been kind of like listening to uh this music at home and but every time I get to this partic song yeah cuz it's in a mix it would just take me somewhere you know um I just as much as there's no lyrics there's just something that it's saying to me that I do not understand yeah uh but I understand at the same time you know and I would rewind to find it again and it can and then I rewind again G it just talks to me man you know um that's why I requested it to be played on the show today because it it is now like a big part of of who I am even on the weekend I was home yeah and on my way back driving this this was the song for the trip I was traveling yeah with sha this was the song we kept rewinding you know yeah really beautiful music man well done Josh Milan this is a Bo son of mix well done really really really beautiful music beautifully done act two and four the boy Sans mix Josh Milan know one minute you are on the highway I almost mentioned the speed that is not allowed you're on the Highway 120 km an hour yes you know next minute you're on zero you know know um I literally saw my love fleshing um and it it wasn't so quick that was the most painful thing about this incident it wasn't so quick and then I woke up in hospital it it happened for like I don't know a minute so I it gave me time to think while it was happening oh wow I had time to pray while it while it was happening you know like time to to um hope that it's not it's going to be over and a time where I was like okay we're dying it's over you know yeah everything happened and I saw it happening you know um I had a little um I don't know I'll call it like a South American tour um yes we always do it in January um so I had I think about three shows left and then I was going to come home and and and take B time off M and I had done a show in Brazil and I was going to I was flying from Brazil to Argentina um i' had been using like a bigger plane on this entire tour and this was like the last lag and The Airliner was using the the company was using was um they couldn't give me a plane again like this was the lot like they couldn't so I found a different Airline yeah yeah so I was using this plane and this is p by the way you're flying private yes yes yes yes I remember you know um I was I was on the phone and I was like cuz I was used to the piger plane yes like I don't know this plane is like I don't know it's it it looks old you know I even took a picture of like the floor and the rocks it looks like no one has been using this I was just making these comments and then I was told no you spoil whatever you know and I just F I felt uneasy you know by the way while I was on this to I think a week before because it was so fastpaced I would take a a helicopter remember one day the helicopter came to the hotel okay it landed on the tennis court yeah to pick me up to land right next to a plane oh you know that was that that quick yeah yeah at some point I landed on a plane and I took a helicopter that took me to the gig you know I remember the week before I was on this helicopter and before it to it took off I just had fear you know and as as is the the helicopter was taking off I started praying you know like I just felt uneasy about this particular ride you know um I sent a message to my woman I said I love you just yes only the following only the following day she was like H I love you too but she didn't know why yeah you know um and then um the following week then I'm on this flight from Brazil I'm going to Argentina yeah um took off I had my seal belt on cruise the plane was cruising now I took the SE building reclined my seat took a nap I was listening to like a gospel album yeah on my headphones CL my seat took took a nap and then I woke up to something that felt like a dream or a nightmare and the plane was like shaking violently like extremely violently and I opened my eyes and everyone was trying to hold on um but it was really like At first cuz I I was sleeping I felt like I was in a rolling car it felt like I was in a car and it was rolling but it was like moving so violently I fell on the floor and I still had my headphones um and there was a song that was playing like a gospel song that kept repeating Hallelujah Hallelujah Hallelujah on my headphones oh my then it felt like a dream because I'm like yes what's going on yeah yeah it really and it was a loop and the loop kept getting higher and higher it felt like I had this choir or this Angel singing to save me at that moment wow like continuously and now I was on the I was on the floor I get up I I I sit on the chair we all trying to hold on and then the plane just dipped like so fast and then I hit the the ceiling or the roof of the plane with my head um then I was out I was like unconscious yeah like for for a couple of seconds um then I I it wasn't for long I was on the floor again um then it was simmering down you know but the plane inside was so destroyed still flying sh the um oxygen mask were hanging everything was broken the even the class I was using to drink water everything was broken my glasses were broken um there was water everywhere basically and then I was feeling this pain on on my upper back like sharp Shar sharp pain I couldn't see it you know I told the pilots we had to land we have to land we have to land I was traveling with two security guards um American guys who were really tough on the pilots like you have to land you know so we landed in Uruguay they were insisting we continue we were close I mean if we in Uruguay we closed to Argentina you know but we we had to land in Uruguay and there was an ambulance and then I was in hospital then the following day I had surgery like a 5 hour surgery because my spinal my upper spinal cord was damaged so they had to fix my upper spinal cord and and have like metal so I have metal holding on my spinal cord now I'm half man half machine I can't wait to go back play some music now I'm I'm on fire oh man we're laughing now because you're sting here with us oh my word so I spent I spent a week in hospital in in Uruguay who's there um my sisters flew the following day they came uh with a friend of ours SS um Cristiana flew as well so I had them every day coming to the hospital um until I came back we flew we flew back together um which was like such a like a beautiful thing you know um cuz it's so far out I could have been alone there my point exactly you know I could have been alone I asked that question but I literally saw everything man I I saw my life ending I was like this is it and I was praying I was I wasn't even praying to be alive I was just praying to get to heaven good yeah I'm like don't lock me out God whatever it is let me in I don't want to be on the other side I don't know what it looks like it was done I feel like it was done and and here I am man I feel like I've been giving I've been given a second chance we thank God and I've spent time at home um and I was looking forward to spending time at home so much and now it's towards the end I was like but I don't feel like there's been an impact this is like a week two weeks ago yeah I don't know what's missing you know but I I I feel like I'm still the same guy and I was hoping I wouldn't feel like this when I go back to to work again you know and I called umab the pastor yeah Bo I'm like man this is how I'm feeling you know and I need to talk to someone you know um obviously I mean I've been going to church I went to my mom's Church yeah yeah we saw that you know I went to my mom's church and um I I went with with the family I went again alone I could not feel something was just like not there yeah yeah you know and I also felt like I needed to be prayed for and so you don't walk into church and ask for that yeah you know so that moment wasn't there and I I was just like let me call G you know I need I need a prayer you know and so Gabriel came you know and uh came to the house house we were talking and I uned uned everything to him like how I feel and you know um what a beautiful blessed man oo what a gift wow man like he just gave me like a perspective of of of life and faith I never knew existed come on you need to share now I'm me I'm corner you know so now we sitting and what's crazy is I get a call from I was sitting yeah I'm like sorry so I have to take this call I'm likeo I have a pastor in my house if you are close come I can't talk to you right now put the phone away and I didn't say who the pastor was yeah I don't even know why he was calling yeah so he comes he rocks up at the house and now it's the three of us and C is sharing the word of God With Us you know um and he says gentlemen are you ready to receive Christ as your savior we look at each other I'm like I'm no yeah I didn't call you for that type of thing you know and he says what's your fear you know and I said to my my version of people that are saved is a little bit messed up yeah you know uh most of the people that say they are saved are the most meanest people yeah you know are the most judged people uh Jud are the most corrupt are the most yeah I on these things and I I said I'm not sure if I want to be in those shoes where people look at me every day and wait for me to fall oh you know class house and yes sir and he was like look this is not how it works you know what most people miss about Jesus is he already forgave our sins he came and he died for our sins already our sins are forgiven that's right so you are allowed to walk and fall and walk again and stumble and fall and walk and stumble and fall you know you're not meant to be perfect you know it's a journey that one has to take for you to get but the first thing you need to do to be able to walk is to put Jesus in your heart now are you ready to put Jesus in your heart come on now this is like Jesus 101 I'm like yes sir wow I in my house I'm like I'm in because there's a version of me that I've always known I'm going to be and it wasn't arriving yeah I've been waiting like I know the type of guy that I'm eventually going to be yeah you know yeah I've always known the type of guy I wanted to be growing up and I saw that guy coming together you know wow I saw him and I was was like this is how I want to be I want to wear this kind of clothes yeah I want to stay in this kind of place I want to do this kind of gigs yes I want to live this kind of life and I saw that happening yeah and what I was quiet about in my mind is I want to be this kind of guy that knows God you know that has Jesus in his heart that that walks the path right so as cool as I was it wasn't matching up you know you have everything but you're still it was not matching up and and and C says you are at the most amazing place right now people get to this place when they are down and out where they feel like I need Jesus in my heart and you are and he said to me God never Wast a battle and this is one that's why you called me and you are not in a place of weakness you are in a place of power and having this moment people ask for this in rehab in hospital in jail in we asking it from your house yeah he's like look at your life and here you are you asking for the most important thing you know so it makes sense to me to be in this space and then I mean on Sunday then we went to church um uh church I mean I was looking forward to that because I just felt like it's a step I also want to take publicly for myself yeah yeah you know and Pastor Josh Josh was preaching and he asked if anyone you know something I had confirmed already Yes like something that I knew in my heart I want to do you know so I walked and I said TM you know and it's one of the most exciting things for me because I love challenges I'd love starting something and excelling it yes I cannot wait to excel in this journey oh you know oh um because I feel like it's going to take a while for me which is what I'm also looking forward to instead of fearing it I'm embracing that it's going to be a journey I'm embracing that I'm going to walk and I'm going to fall and I'm going to stumble and I'm going to keep walking you know but I'm going to be walking right I know no you see I think I think you you have given yourself a license to be a music maker because we we like boxing yeah if we know you for house yeah house is going to be yeah the minute you do it anything slow he like I much yeah I F and that can be dangerous for artists you know um and I I see a lot of artists locally that are stuck in that space um where they could do like so much more yeah you know they have like an ear that could take them like beyond what they're doing you know true and a few comments on Twitter can just like like yeah yeah like I exactly and you feel like y I'm doing something wrong just trust it man we're talking the essence of our conversation today with uh with BL coffee is lessons because you are failing High yeah oh can somebody say that you are failing High amen because you are at the echelon of your career yet here you are you able to say wait a minute something is still missing yeah what else do you want to do differently or you wish you could have done differently or let me rephrase that what are the lessons so far big for you in terms of the failures you have now incured um it's just like not being so hard on myself yeah that's number one um coming from where I come from I pushed myself so hard [Music] um like 20 times H maybe hundreds you know um to make sure that I live my dream you know I I just believe like God Gave All of Us gifts and it's not one it's many yeah and our our job is to find out what those gifts are yeah and go for all of them that's right you know and but we live in a society where we have no no opportunities to even find out one yeah because we survivalist that's it now most of our people are like that yes and so when you are given an opportunity um to run with yours you better run yeah you know and I've been on that Journey you know and I've been hard on myself pushing myself so hard and so one of the lessons is just like take it easy you know don't be hard cuz or people also just see the WIS yeah and and everybody loves a winner and we'll celebrate those wins yeah people see the wins and and while you winning we're waiting for you to fail so that the others can also have a chance man I don't even want to St so there's so many also when you look at me as someone who You' say oh I'm inspired by your WIS just know there always there also failur yeah and there's a lot of of them yeah you know and some are personal some are private some are in my head you know where as much as I seem extremely confident yeah some much is out of like me not being confident enough yeah and maybe you are more conf than me yeah in that space yeah you know uh but it's just like giving each thing time can I be personal please no one gets into marriage to get out y because even when you stand there you say till death I'm going to fight for this I'm going to fight for this you failed dismally um and for me I think I modeled marriage my own way oh alone tell me because of my upbringing and my parents failing in marriage um and then me not being raised by both of them I created a my own world where I'm like you know when I get a chance to do this thing I'm going to do it this way I'm going to do it this way and so much that you you want to lead in everything oh you know you want to cover everything you want to be uh you want to be the driver of this thing and so much that you forget that there's someone next to you who who also has holds the M that's right you know the joury for two yeah it's so you you're a driver there's a navigator that's right and both of you are important and vice versa you know um so every time I would so make a move that I thought was big for us mhm and it wasn't received like that a part of me was dying oh because I'm like trust me I know how this thing is going to work trust me yeah you know like let me take this thing forward instead of trust us yeah so and every time I I I make I mean I was talking to you off about one day I bought my ex um very fancy car yeah and the response wasn't what I expected you know she wasn't as excited as you expected it yeah and it was like for me especially at the time it was like a super fancy kind I expected even beyond for you I expected it to even cry yeah you know like yeah she was like oh nice thank you you know and it sat with me heavily for a long time um someone who was not appreciating but was you lesson there sometimes we we are ahead and we there's things we wish for people there's things they wish for themselves and and we make a mistake of imposing our wishes on them oh come on now you know so it's like me saying I want to go to the Moon you know the Moon is always known as a place where yeah you know take you to the Moon that's right and then I take my partner to the Moon and I'm like we are at the moon and she's like okay I want to go back home we on the moon I'm like are you serious like look at where we are right now we we are above everything she's like yeah but cool for you it's same thing thank you until she's ready to go to the Moon oh yeah then we can go together oh yeah and we both feel the same way you know um so there's so many of those things that hit me later you know not to say that then I want to try marriage again just understanding it where I'm like hm I could have been easier on that yeah you know I I could have taken time on on that I could have you know when you come out you it's so easy to say she's wrong she did that she did that you know but if you if you're going to sit and be honest with yourself you're going to find a lot of PS in the things that you've also done that's right and that's when peace comes yes you know that's when you as I was saying healing healing comes that's when you um you need to take it easy on yourself now and forgiving yourself you know because it's it's a journey man no one is going to come out perfect we going to die not perfect you know we're going to keep trying we're going to read books we're going to like I'm listening to um one called um becoming nobody oh because personally that's all I've been trying to be somebody yeah so much that I've lost Who I Really Am um cuz somebody gets invited in certain tables somebody gets seen a certain way somebody gets seen most of us I mean as black people we are not seen yeah so you work so hard to be seen to be known uh to live in a certain neighborhood so you can be neighbors with certain people so they can see you and acknowledge Your Existence so much that you lose the essence of you you know so I'm trying to learn to become nobody yeah and I walk in the room as me not as someone who drives a certain car lives in a certain place have a certain amount of money in my bank account just walking as myself and I can walk in then in any room without feeling like I don't belong here yeah you know cuz as a human being I belong everywhere what was happening because these are the songs you were playing during your healing yeah how did you bump into bonga bonga there's a there's a house music remix uh done by Pablo uh Fiero it's one of my favorite producers by the way um so I I used to play the song A Lot in Ina when I Clos my set the the remix yeah you know um and now when I was in the hospital and I was about to come back home I started making a playist sure for the music I want to listen to when I'm home yeah and um cuz I love this song so dearly and I know it's a remix and I looked for the original the original yeah you know then I added it on my playlist so I've been playing it a lot at home but I did not understand it when I was playing it as a house yeah uh song and and it spoke to me more now then I I went to find out the lyrics okay and um this is a a dying man saying goodbye to his son no yeah um he talking about how death is a thief and he's asking the people to look after his son cuz he's [Music] dying um I don't know um this song yeah caught your ear as a house song as a house song probably years before yeah the reason you're sitting here today Y and here it is now speak speaking to that fear yeah that's exactly what happened my gosh and I didn't know um like I said what it meant or what it would mean to me now like at this time um and even when I was loving it as a house song I never thought let me check the lyrics it didn't matter but it it also went to me slowing down just the tempo of the song is like you've been moving too fast listen to the real thing version you know of the song and then that's where the truth is that's where the the gospel is wow now when you I can't help but for some reason your grandmother keeps coming up y every time we talk about you facing challenges because going back to our earlier conversations um she always comes up as the matri who said hey stop feeling sorry for yourself stand up yeah do this yeah what would you say now would you still do the same words it's so complex yes it would be um I'm saying it's complex because unfortunately relationships change when you become successful um so she wasn't when she left us she wasn't as tough okay you know I saw a different version of her like a much sweeter version of her did you like it or did you I no I loved it I loved it it's what I've been yearning for for years okay you know um was she tough for you or tough on you you know what I mean she was both okay yeah she was both um at times I felt like I want to run away from home that tough yeah you know and I had this cousin I have this cousin so I'm I'm I was busy doing a family book like the ancestry of my family and so it talks about my grandmothers and my mother and so this uh portion that talks about my grandmother I sent it to my cousin um when read it and this comes back with this like long essay yeah you know and I didn't ask him to yeah because he's a he's a cousin yes you know so I was just showing him as someone you know we grew up with and he and I read it you know and I was like but this wasn't the plan cuz we almost done with the blue book I don't know what to do with this essay but I I read it and I'm like wow and I sent it to this lady who's helping us put the book together to add on the book because I realized that us Buu has a different version of my grandmother than me okay and he has the truthful one yeah the version my grandmother gave me before she left is the version SPO nose oh okay you know she loved him dearly yeah so he's the only one who can write this things he's the only one who saw that side the softer so I could not help but I'm like we need this in the book that's right you know so right now she would she wouldn't be so tough because she she didn't see me like that anymore as a kid who needed to be pushed and that's right she saw me now she left us seeing me as a family leader as someone who you know takes care of everyone and so it will be it will be different you know I would get more nurturing if anything yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah are you raising your sons the same way which version of Grandma are you raising your sons with it's so complex with my sons you know uh because the my absence steals everything oh so when I'm around as tough as they know I can be I'm nice yeah you know are you trying to compensate I think sub subconsciously yes but because I know it I'm also woke in trying not to do it you know um so I will make a tough decision and I will walk out of the room immediately because you don't want to see their faces yeah and I don't want to I don't want to feel like um okay maybe I shouldn't you know if if I'm disciplining if there's a problem I will put my foot down and and be so proud that I did yeah because I I the little time I have with them it's like it must be good you know and and there's lessons you know and every time I I am tough I get it they're like we don't like you like this yeah but I'm like I'm I'm the boss it's got to be done you know what I'm saying so I navigate it but it's not easy pay yourself a compliment it's compliment it's well compliment day you got to Black HF you got to say something to nauy yeah I I love that I love that because I I I thought it would be tough but I remember I I I tweeted it once where I put a a picture of for young of me uh picture I took with my my cousin s outside our house and we were all asy and I yeah fully fully you know and I posted that and and as I said and I'm still saying it now like I'm so proud of you you know um with all the adversities that came through and and and the storms and it's hard being Black Coffee in South Africa because the country it's hard being um Tyler it's hard being Trevor Noah it's hard being um anyone who reach a certain level of success that's right because the country is not emotionally ready to support you all the way they will support you but there's a a place where you get where they're like I a St element you know you can't get this successful yeah and then you will feel the friction you will feel the envy you will see in the tweets uh you you will feel it you know um so it's been so hard to navigate the space where someone can tweet nonsense about you and then you leave kfm you meet them and they're like let's take a picture yeah you know and you take a picture and they tag you and then when you look at other tweets how today this guy was saying nonsense about me exactly so and it's not anyone's fault it's just like emotionally we're not ready to accept ourselves as success sure so it's going to take time for us to embrace all of us you know so you saying to Nati it's hard it's it's been so hard but well done you know and not losing your cool and and fighting as hard as you fought you know in creating a world not just for yourself for your family for your friends you know I'm super proud of you you are playing at a gig me ah we'll announce it after the news spot on the best heat in the city Uncle T my son loves music but his father won't pay for it he has been making music and DJing since around the age of 12 just like his Uncle J they have a love for music our son complet his metric last year and he made it clear he wants to explore Music and Sound Engineering more this year he just refuses so honestly me not working has made it difficult to provide for my son however my ex has been the one providing for our son since he was young so I feel bad for my son and man he doesn't want to study anything else besides music and father it doesn't see the value in it I can see my son is taking this very hard and it has affected their relationship but Mina as the mother I'm stuck in the middle and I don't know if I should side with his father or encourage him to go to school and study something else just to ensure his dad continues to pay for for him financially or support my son and hope that will will be able to make a plan I just don't want my son to end up at depressed and what could be my blind spots to clarify um they are cooperating parenting they are no longer together mhm all right so that's why she keeps saying my ex my the father so the father is the ex just to clarify that all right so they're raising this son who is into music like so it's clearly the maternal side is very musical it's triggering this one is it triggering what do you say it's complicated man you know because you as an outsider are you now dividing this family you know she's saying the mother is saying um just for the father to continue support this kid she might have to allow yeah the kid to go study yeah something else so chances are if you come on board and say oh we'll take the kid to the music school the father is going to walk away because now you know who raises this boy then that's right you know you've paid for the music thing but who's going to be the father to this boy that's right it's very complicated man it is I I I would I tend to agree but I'd also say I do understand where the father is coming from because ever so often we also hear artists saying that choosing this path of the Arts is also a very difficult one you've got to have a thick skin uh it might not always start off smooth so there are parents who would generally say perhaps try and be a doctor are a lawyer we know now that even doctors are not getting placed in government institutions but nevertheless it seems that artists themselves if they have the choice they'd rather say to their children perhaps don't take my path yeah true so I true right yeah I wish that for my kids you see you see yeah cuz it's hard but also I have friends who um um other things but DJ for fun so go go be a lawyer and you can still DJ yes you can still play music you can you can still make music yeah it's there's family issues here and yeah I I'll I'll I'll I'll I'll position my son taba is 20 he loves this music thing he loves DJing and we said you can do it but find something in it that you can then professionalize he's doing law he's going to focus on copyright law because that's where his passion is music and he's still making music he's still DJing on the side perhaps that's a solution m JJ I agree with that solution so my ex-boyfriend I still like him I'm smiling when I talk about I can see no we broke up we broke up F yeah his parents were like no they're not going to play uh pay for sports he wanted to do sports psychology they didn't understand him studying Sports as an actual field of study and then they had they they they they stried to deal with him that um do this other what they regarded as field of studies like you know your medicine whatever so he did I think psychology at some point and that worked out he graduated and they said now you're free to do whatever whatever you want in case that doesn't work out cuz you know so you've got something else to fall back on so they could just be unfair like that because is very unfair you want to equip your child to be able to work on their own yes that's what it is so don't say for me go study law and then now for you go do whatever you want yeah you know what I'm saying so you want to help them be their own man and them being their own man means if he says he wants to do music let him do music that's what happened with my son who for years took piano lessons he always had a minist studio in his room yeah but never seemed interested in it he wanted to do other things and one day I woke up he's like I have a gig hey and it had nothing to do with me now at this point yeah I don't even know where in the world he is now he left last night he's somewhere DJ but he chose that yeah you know and he's running with it yeah you know and as as I said earlier I wish they could do something else but he chose it he chose my job is to equip him to be able to walk in whatever path that he chooses Oprah interviewed a a psychologist who wrote a book and I forgot her name but what stands out from that interview this author says our job as parents is to become irrelevant to our kids yes mhm when you have been a great parent is when your child never needs you it's almost similar to what is called a leadership adage that the best boss every day must be working themselves out of a job power that's power hea are you but are we solving this one we know I don't know we listen don't I don't feel like we are because essentially that's why I said it's complex for our job is not islight blinds and we've highlighted a few the decision is up to her to take which one she wants true cuz I'm I'm on both sides I'm like allow the kids to do what they want you said you know the father is a father yeah you know um and a son needs his father you know what I'm saying so it's hard to just like choose one side you can't choose one side yeah it's more complex than that before you go n thank you girls thank you thank you ladies one of my biggest worries about the accident is you standing for hours playing again yeah you ready I I want to find out if I'm ready um by by weekend of work starts in two in two weeks I think it's 18th or or something I go to Miami M and I've been home I've been resting you I'm fired up to go back um so I I took a gig um you took a gig yeah I took a gig um I called up LSG I was like man I I want to come play come on yeah I want to come play your thing are you the surprise act I mean the show is sold out so I I can now say it what yeah so wait a minutes um for me it's [Applause] like what look wait wait wait wait wait wait whoa bread for Souls it's happening tomorrow yeah it is sold out yeah and on the poster surprise act yeah you are I've been shout out to everyone who bought a ticket without even knowing it shows it shows that the show is about music it's not about who's on the flyer you know um I'm shaking I I um for me bread for soul is the beginning you know there's so much I actually wanted to call him before my accident to go play I wanted to call him and be like I want to come play here it's a beginning beginning in a sense of like musically it's where I come from musically and so given what I've been through and doing this show means I'm starting again yeah yeah that's what it is so I was like I want to start back to yeah I want to go I want to like play a set of my Beginnings you know like where I come from musically and it's the best platform for me to play I'm really I'm really looking forward to I hope I don't hurt myself shaking it you know take it easy yeah yeah yeah but have fun no no no I I want to try this is like Al I told him I'm like this is how I'm going to know if I'm ready to start moving like for real you know so man I'm I'm excited God bless you ni God bless you my brother may he protect you for us for you for your family thank you sir keep shining I appreciate it thank [Music] you

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Id: JU1DuNHLJFY

Length: 45min 20sec (2720 seconds)

Published: Fri Mar 01 2024