"Beyond the Veil of Darkness" by Dr. Esmie Branner

and so i am thankful for the testimony that god has entrusted to me to bring to you and i pray he would breathe life upon it again and that his presence would be seen and known and heard and with that let us pray father come now speak let the beauty of jesus be seen and known and heard not i but christ be lifted up we thank you and we praise you lord for entrusting each of us with testimonies father that speak of the realities of heaven of a mighty god and a god who loves and cares for his own bless us now as i share and i pray that hearts would be touched and changed lord let us see and vision that which we would want to be and then become the change we want to see we thank you and praise you now in jesus name amen amen praise the lord and so i will share with you my testimony beyond the veil of darkness i was born in the beautiful island of jamaica and i was veered in england here are a few pictures of my hometown gloucester in england near bristol and bath and near birmingham if any of you have been to england and this is a typical home that i was reared in we had beautiful country around us we had the cows and the sheep i enjoyed sports at school i enjoyed netball and hockey i was very athletic i loved running i still run today i run five miles and i sprint and i i love to keep up my body and keep healthy and i love the 200 meter dash and the 100 meter dash those were my favorites i always race my kids as well when i'm home this is my church in gloucester england in which i was baptized and i was baptized at the age of 12. at 17 i left home and started my nursing career at the rowley bristow orthopedic hospital in surrey just outside of london and here are some pictures of me as a young 17 year old nurse yeah isn't she cute and that's when the party life started for me i was out of the house you know out of that seventh-day adventist home no more i had didn't have my parents over me anymore so i started to party and drink and smoke and and uh have boyfriends and i was the best dancer on the dance floor oh my goodness lord you know when when when some day adventist kids go out they go all the way out you know but but we feel so awkward as well while we're out there you know i remember saying to myself i'm never going to get my ears pierced but i'll wear clip-on earrings you know the funny things we do i tell you oh anyway that's me 17 partying it was around that time of my life where i was free and footloose and fancy that i met a handsome guy mohammed i went home for my weekend visit to my hometown and while i was there my brother said come on and listen to the reggae band that we just started up so me loving reggae music you know i went off to hear this band and in walks this tall handsome indian guy and he was amazing he even spoke a little patwa you know the jamaican patwa and that really just turned me on and i said war he is the cutest thing our eyes locked and there was love at first sight wow things moved rapidly rapidly and at the age of 18 i was pregnant i did not finish my nurse training i had six months to go and so i made a decision to go home and have my baby and i had a little boy his name is javid he was born i was 19 years old when i gave birth i moved in with my boyfriend started to live with muhammad in a little apartment there in gloucester and five months after giving birth to my first son i was pregnant again and this time with twins and so now i give birth to twin babies nine months later and i have like triplets three little kids and i'm only 21 years old at that point my parents make a decision to leave england and go to live in the united states and um so muhammad at this time his parents being so perturbed about their young muslim son their only son and very concerned about you know him having a proper muslim wife decided to send him to in india to find a wife so we split up and he goes to india to find his wife and i now decide to go to the united states of america to be with my parents with my three sons and so we you know split up and i head to the united states and i'm living there for about six to eight weeks or so i hear the door knock i open the door and it's mohammed and we're in love again and so we whiz off together and we say let's get married who cares about what the parents think you know my parents were so distraught they were dismayed but we didn't care we were in love and our children were going to understand christianity they were going to understand islam and then they were going to grow up and make their own decision and that's the compromise we make foolishly when we want to have our own way ah the plight of a youth i tell you and so we had our muslim wedding and from there life began we later had another baby little aisha was born our first girl and her three big older brothers and then later we had another baby i was pregnant here with zayna my youngest and um we later had another healthy baby girl well still partying still in the world still doing my thing muhammad was now rearing the children in islam teaching the boys their quran and their prayers so a year after the birth of zena i suddenly felt lost and confused depressed sad the whole scene changed something was happening in my heart something was happening in my mind this evening we'll talk about the conscious and the unconscious a little bit and how those memories of the past start to come in waves again i started to remember my childhood i found myself at a fork in the road very undecisive about my future a young mother 26 years old with five children and feeling i have nowhere to go this is my life it's over it's done i must dedicate myself to my children no more career goals for me and so at this fork in the road i'm working the night shift at a hospital i'm a nurse assistant and i come in and i'm depressed and i'm sad and night after night i'm feeling this way and one of the ladies came and she said as me what's going on i said i don't know i said i just feel so depressed i feel like giving up in fact i feel like leaving home and just leaving my kids my husband everything and started my own life and she said esme don't do that so god sent this woman her name was olga and she took out of her purse a book and she gave it to me steps to christ i started to read that book and memory started to come i remember this book when i was a kid and i finished that book so quickly within a day or two i came back i felt as though the thirst i had inside was beginning to quench and i said olga do you have another book and she said yes yes in fact read this and so i decided to read the desire of ages and ladies i fell in love with jesus he was the desire that i had and i didn't know and all of a sudden life was worth living i started to pray i started to seek out a church i wanted to start attending church again i started on wednesday night prayer meetings i would attend just by myself and listen they were deliberating and studying the book of uh revelation at the time and i heard things i never heard as a sympathy adventist christian growing up it was amazing but my children my children they were still learning the quran this is little adam reading and studying and memorizing scriptures in in the quran and i would hear my children crying and weeping because this was night after night after night mohammed would bludger them and say read and study and read and and they had to learn and then for me i started to remember the children's story remember the two carolines remember uncle arthur all the the life i had growing up the joy of cradle roll and and primary class and hear the pennies dropping hear them as they fall everyone for jesus he shall have them all redeemed how i love to proclaim it redeemed by the blood of the lamb all these songs started to come back into my conscious mind and i longed for a deeper relationship with jesus the beautiful felt boards the stories that we grew up with was in my heart and mind and i just wanted jesus and i wanted my children to know him and i said father how now can i teach my children muhammad has taken up the the religious aspect of their upbringing lord what must i do and when i would ask muhammad about taking them to church he would say oh no they're muslims no it's too late i had a dream and in this dream i saw my father breaking bread my father had passed away and i said papa give me some of that bread and he said no this bread you have to get for yourself he pointed the bread out through an arched window and as i looked through that window i saw the beautiful face of jesus and as i looked into his face he wept and he beckoned me to come quickly quickly and i knew time was short and i knew i had to make this a do or die it was all or nothing there was no more turning back i had been in the world the world had offered me nothing and now i was in a marriage that i had not been given the permission of god to be in i was in a relationship i couldn't get out of i believed in marriage and i said lord how do i change this and he said my grace is sufficient for my strength is made perfect in your weakness you will be the witness to muhammad now i died for him i love him and i care for him so now you be the witness and so i said lord teach me show me and i would have private uh worship and and uh with my children i would teach them songs and start teaching them about jesus when muhammad was at work and when he came home we would quickly change the scene and carry on as usual i confessed of all of my sins of the marriage of rushing the head of god i repented i wept on my face to god i was experienced in true conversion no longer was i a nominal seventh-day adventist just growing up in the church learning the rules and regulations now i was in relationship with jesus and it was making all the difference now i understood the theology of my faith because when you're converted it makes sense and i began to love my faith i used to hate turning off the tv on a friday night and now i rush to turn it off to have my time with jesus through those sacred hours of the sabbath but satan's wrath was over my decision you see satan wants you to think when you make a decision for the lord that now you're going to go to hell now you're going to have a hellish experience because you made that decision he makes you feel as though you made the wrong decision because things start to happen in your life that has never happened before you see because now you're walking against the tide whereas before you were just moving with the tide but when you turn to walk with jesus the obstacles the fight and you feel like you want to give up and you say but lord i thought it was going to be a bed of roses then you realize it's not christ but it's the enemy of christ who is angry with you and i saw mohammed change he changed overnight his whole personality was belligerent he was angry he became violent he was now pushing me around and and he punched me in my face even i'd never seen him this way but i realized now that i turned to christ this was spiritual warfare and i was told by the lord at that time to put on the whole armor of god for we wrestle not against flesh and blood but against principalities and powers and i put it on not knowing the depth of where this would take me that week leading up to my baptism all hell broke loose in my home and i cried out to the lord father what must i do muhammad showed me a knife and he said i will kill you if you baptize this week and i went to the lord i didn't know scripture i was a babe and i started to flip through the word of god and as i flipped through the word of god oftentimes it would just land on a on a scripture and i would read it and it would be so appealing i knew it was god's voice and i remember luke 12 50 said you have a baptism to be baptized of and how distressed as me you are until it be accomplished with that i took up faith and i said father then i will go and if i die i will die in jesus and the next sound that i hear will be that of the trumpet sound and jesus coming so death had no power over me i was ready to die and so i prepared my mind i told my bible worker who was working with me i will be baptized and by god's grace pray for my children to be there muhammad was angry violent threatening threatening to take the children from me that night before my baptism i went to church and it was communion and we had a beautiful time in the lord the whole church was praying for my situation and praying for my children to be there to witness this thing the next morning when we woke up mohammed woke up the angry the the the violent man woke up and left the house like a lamb i saw the power of god subduing his spirit and when he left the house i got up i got dressed got the kids ready and we took off put the babies in the in the double stroller my three little ones around my side and we just took off to church he took the car he tried to make life difficult for me there was no more vehicle for me to get around with no everywhere i had to go i had to walk but i thank god it was a bright and sunny sabbath morning and i truly expected to die that morning but god in all his grace saved me and showed me that we must trust him to the very edge we must trust him to the end of time we must not allow our fears to dominate us had i given up i wouldn't have seen the glorious result of prayer and seeing a man so angry so violent leave like a lamb god was working that day i was baptized and my eight-year-old son here's why my children had to be there stood up at the altar call gave his life to jesus and he too was baptized some weeks later well all of heaven rejoiced because now that child that lost sheep as me came home we rejoiced and i felt as though heaven rejoiced i could see the angels just waft in their wings with joy for that one lost soul coming back to jesus after all those years while mohammed became very religious now and he started praying five times a day he met men who came from saudi and from the middle east who were there schooling and these men were amazing because they had careers they had more education to get they had rich and wealthy families and they told muhammad if you want your wife to be a muslim you need to get her to saudi arabia bring the children and take charge of your home and so muhammad started a plan as he prayed with these men five times a day they devised the plan more and more the plan became appealing to him he told me we would live there for just two years and make some money come back and buy our home and i prayed i fasted and i started to receive answers from the lord i wanted god to show me i didn't want to go but i wanted to do the will of god and as god started to show me through a song through a verse through a sermon through those prayer warriors in the church i realized more and more god was saying go i have a work for you to do there see god he makes use of us everywhere we go if we're willing we can be a witness in any realm no matter where we go go in the will of god even if he sends you to the to the pits go with god if he sends you then go do not be afraid for he will be by your side and he has a greater work than you can ever imagine for the work is his and not ours and so finally i made the decision to go and i was a call porter at the time i had started working as a call porter literature evangelist i couldn't help but tell of the good things god was doing and so i would knock on doors with my books and and share the gospel and so i tore off all the covers off my books i packed them all we stayed in england for about three months where my parents had now reversed and went back to england so we stayed there for a little bit and of course his parents were there and we visited for a while and so i wrapped and hid all my books as we were packing the night before and that night god said dress as a muslim woman i heard it as clear as day and i said oh really lord dress as a muslim woman i said okay just obey we don't always have to question god just walk in obedience and he will unveil that's what trusted in in god is all about trusting his voice and so that night i put on my beautiful uh got out my beautiful muslim attire and dressed and we finally left for saudi arabia the next day packed all my books prayed over all all of them and off we went i told my children now we are going to be undercover agents for the lord we are missionaries and we have a work to do for jesus oh i tell you all those books packed ready to share the gospel i was just on fire for the lord we finally arrived in saudi it was midnight it was hot it was sticky what a culture shock for me i prayed lord leaders to the right custom agent i prayed along the way praying without ceasing god lead us to the right custom agent i have a lot of books and i was a little bit ignorant because i didn't realize the penalty for bringing in christian literature which you will soon find out and so my bags started all of our bags started to go on the conveyor belt they searched us they were very very careful to search to search us i didn't realize as i said excuse me that the consequences for bringing in literature was steep and even though i hid my bible and hid it well and wrapped it in an old sweater they found it and immediately i started to tremble and i was wondering at the same time how come they didn't find the other books that were in the other suitcases that were packed and i was just attributing that to prayer i was just thanking the lord you see i just prayed for god to give me a wonderful power powerful experience when i came back to god i didn't want a mediocre relationship with god i wanted to know god like the prophets of old know god that's what i prayed for i said lord i want to know you i want to hear your voice i want to talk with you i want to walk with you i want you to lead my life i don't want to just a everyday kind of relationship with jesus i wanted more be careful what you pray for they found the bible and they started to question me question well sorry question muhammad you see they don't speak to the women because we're women and as i looked down i saw that i was dressed like a muslim woman now it all made sense we look like the typical muslim family muhammad dressed in his muslim attire i'm dressed in mine our children it we just look like the typical muslim family so they were very puzzled to find a bible amongst a muslim family and of course they wouldn't speak to me and lord said keep your head down and just look like a muslim woman and that's what i did and so the bibles of course are forbidden for non-muslims and this is where you can find yourself in hot water it is punishable by law you can be imprisoned you can be executed you can be flogged in the streets as women you can have your fingers cut off by a machine there and i started to pray and i called upon the name of god like moses and i said father you are going to have to part this red sea it is too big but you are a mighty god and you've done it before when you give god his word it doesn't return void and i prayed and i quoted scripture stand on the promises his word does not return void and i said father your word is a lamp unto my feet it is a light unto my path therefore i need this light to see in this dark country i've reasoned with god and i said and this is your word it won't return so i know you got to do it i don't know how you're going to do it but i know you have to do it i cried out and suddenly i heard his precious voice say don't be afraid as me stand still and see the salvation of the lord which he will accomplish for you today the lord will fight for you as me and you shall hold your peace god will answer the prayer of faith and especially when you stand on his word and tomorrow we're going to talk about prayer i saw something come over those officials they became confused they scratched their head they came with guns and weapons now they were serious and suddenly one of them said you can go we trust you and we won't search the rest of your luggage hallelujah because in the rest of my luggage in my carry-on was all my ammunition i had steps to christ desire of ages i had councils on diet of food i had patriarchs and prophets i had so much stash you know i was a call porter but the other books that i thought and wondered about had been removed prior to our baggage being taken in at london heathrow by muhammad he had gone through everything and found all of my books discarded them in the garbage at lond in london and thank god in my carry-on was all i had it was all i had but it was enough it was enough they took my bible sisters and they put it back into the suitcase they closed it latched it and said go we trust you hallelujah god parted the red sea and we all my children looked at me i looked at them i said i told you we're undercover agents we walked in it was the dawn of a new day the next day and we woke up that morning the beautiful home the servants all of that muhammad had promised us the job was non-existent he only wanted to get us there and now we were there we spent that night in a hotel in a little orthodox city very s stern city in islam called damam and in little damon is where we stayed in a little rinky-dink hotel and immediately i was homesick i realized that i had made a mistake i started to doubt god just like the children of israel doubting god after the wonderful miracles of god and our first day we spent at the marketplace where i received my first gift the religious police were there they were looking on at all the women watching making sure they were covered in their uh burqa in their covering and so the very first thing muhammad bought for me was my cover and i put it on immediately because those matawas they don't play they hit you and they hit your ankles and they they will hit you in the back if you're not covered and i didn't want to be hit by anyone so i put on my cover and uh you know when in rome they say do as the romans do and i put it on and i said truly truly truly we are undercover agents for the lord all the way and so i put on my burqa and from that day i wore my burqa and many a times i will cover my face completely i normally put it on when i'm sharing my testimony but recently i've decided to no longer do that but just to show the the pictures um and so here i am dressed going from place to place i tell you it was a blessing in disguise many a times because my uh my communications with my family broke down and i was not able to get letters out and so i would um hide the letters i would write in my burqa and take it to a clinic where i met some nurses who was willing to help me they gave me their address so i could write my letters and give it to them they would mail it and then my family would write to that address and i would go and pick up my mail from them as well the burka was handy because you didn't have to even wash your face when you got up in the morning you just throw that thing on and rush to the store if you need to get something and it didn't matter it was great so here are the nurses that i met they were wonderful and i was able to get letters out parcels in from my family and i tell you as soon as the children sneezed we were at the clinic as soon as they coughed we were at the clinic we found every excuse to be at the clinic two and three times a week mohammed would say clinic again who's sick this time oh you know and we would be at the clinic well it was wonderful to speak english with the nurses they were from india many of them south of india and they worked hard and i met catherine she was great catherine was interested in bible studies she knew i was a christian we all were christians there and we shared christ what a joy to finally meet some christians in saudi arabia and of course it was quiet and so we started to share and the sabbath was amazing she wanted to know about the sabbath and i said thank you jesus if it is only for this reason that i am here then let it be oh god thank you for catherine well one evening as um i went to the clinic you know i would work uh study with her on on almost two to three times a week with my little girls would come with me and the boys would go off and do their thing i noticed catherine was very uh a little bit indifferent toward me and i said catherine what's wrong and she said don't talk to me and i said oh no what's going on. and so i waited for her shift to be over and i said catherine what's going on and she left and she was walking fast and i was walking behind her and she kept crossing the road and crossing the road and i was following her and she rushed into her house and slammed the door and i stood outside of her door and i said catherine open the door what's going on tell me i'm not leaving until you tell me and i stayed for a little bit and then she opened it and looked and she said esme you must go she said your husband was here yesterday he brought the officials and they took my husband to prison he told them that we were we were spreading christianity she says if we are seen together they will execute us go we cannot be friends anymore and so i left i was so bewildered she was the only friend spiritual friend that i had i was so broken i was angry i had a whole lot of emotions going on i didn't know what else to do now the doctors at the clinic says me we can't do the letters for you anymore your husband is a dangerous man and he could shut down this clinic and we need the monies to send home to our families we can no longer do this and i had to respect that but jesus said ask me i won't leave you comfortless there is a friend that sticketh closer than any brother and his name is jesus now it was at the dinner parties where my greatest witness was now being challenged you see these big beautiful homes are the homes that belong to many of the arabs that um muhammad had now become acquainted with he had now a wonderful job we had a lovely home and we would go to these homes but the men at the home as we entered the big gates and entered in the doors the male and female would go the mail would go through one door so muhammad with the boys myself with the girls in another door and we would part for the whole time and we would sit in different areas of these mansions and eat me with the ladies and him with the men and the boys and the children could go through the house of course to see mom and dad but we didn't mix so the men would sit and eat from a huge plate and talk and share and all these men had told their wives who i was sitting and eating with to convert me convert convert her make sure she's a muslim and so these wives started to work on me and we would all sit down together we would eat with our right hands they would take a big old goat and plop it on top of the rice and everybody was eating and indulging but you know what i had i had come to the place with my diet god moved things in my life swiftly when i came remember the beckoning was swift and god he grew me as it were overnight and i saw the message of diet and health i saw the message of of spirituality and diet and god says in order for you to hear my voice to know who i am to have a closer walk with me he says i want your diet pure just as i did for daniel just as i did for uh john the baptist just as i did for the children of israel god gave a specific diet to his church that the magnetic influences from heaven to earth would be strong god has given our church a health message and many of us have not abided by that health message and i was one and it's not easy it's not easy but i want you to know why this is so important in my testimony because without it i don't think i would have been here today i don't think the decisions i made i could have made i don't believe the strength i had i could have had when we've done all we can for jesus he will do the rest but he won't do the work that we can do that he has called us to do he won't do it but he's polite he'll influence us but he'll stand back and wait for you to make the decisions and as i sat and ate with these women they started to ask me about my diet they noticed i wasn't eating the goat they noticed i wasn't drinking this very thick black coffee called gahua and then they started to ask questions madame why are you not eating this and eating this and i said hallelujah here's my testimony here's my witness and i started to share with them i said ladies i believe my body is the temple of allah and i said allah wants to speak to our hearts allah wants to know us more and these ladies sat up they started to listen they said tell me more and i started to tell them the relationship with diet and the mind and the body and all of this the little information that god had showed me i started sharing with them and i said this has been amazing i said i fast once a week so so that i can just submit and surrender my body to the lord and during that time is when i feel closest to allah and these ladies were like whoa tell me more and they forgot they were supposed to be teaching me about islam now i was taking the the platform and every time we went madame tell us some more tell us more and i was given them parenting classes and they asked who is this lamb of god why is he called a lamb i said thank you jesus let me explain that now and i knew that god was using this whole occasion for them to hear the word of the lord for it does not return void and let me tell you they started serving all the fresh vegetables all the beans and the brown rices and they were educated and they moved on their education huh and so many of us at seventh-day adventists have had this message for years and if you've been in the church for 20 something years or more you should you should be on a diet of a plant-based diet there is no excuse for us to still be indulging in the in the flesh foods and in the meats even the world is leading this church leading us now you go to the best vegan restaurants are they adventist restaurants no but we were given the message and now the world has taken it to another level and we'll still munching on the chicken bones come on sisters you're the providers for your home we got to do things different we're in the end of time that's christianity 101 we're in the 600s now we got to move by the grace of god he will empower you don't judge each other but just encourage one another swap recipes and do things empower your households it's amazing these women took to the diet they were ready and that's why i believe there will be people from all different races and religion who will be in heaven who may not have heard the name jesus but they operated through their nature doing the right thing those who live up to their faith in truth they will come into truth they will go on to know truth the majority of god's church is still out there have mercy and that's why we ought to respect others of different faith we have a beautiful faith yes we have been given a lot of knowledge but sometimes our knowledge causes us to be puffed up and we don't know how to relate to the world well i can't wait for the great revival to have some pentecostal sisters come in here and teach the adventist church how to praise because we all don't know how to praise god we all just sit up there singing hymn's dead funeral notes when jesus has done so much for us and we think holiness is silence we think holiness is stillness we have to have a balanced church when you go to the games don't you shout don't you talk about your favorite soap opera with excitement yet we don't talk about jesus like that god is calling us to a higher standard of christian living where we exuberate the graciousness of christ in everything we do make him the best and the first and learn how to praise god learn how to lift your voice and say thank you jesus i praise you lord i bet if you knew jesus was coming tomorrow you'd be shouting you'd be and so these precious ladies i would just stand i would just watch them as they peeled the potatoes and the vegetables and they got it ready and i said madame ladies what's going on where's the goat where's the goat and you know what they said this is serious they said madame we want to hear from allah we want to hear from allah that just touched my heart and i said thank you jesus i loved those ladies we built such a wonderful relationship i could go on but i must move on and so i continued to pray without ceasing with my children worshiping and evening we never stopped and you know muhammad still sensed the presence of christ in our home he was very concerned and he started to send the imams to come and teach me islam and these imams came on a regular basis and they came and they tried to convince me and we would share and go back and forth and as i said i felt like a new babe i didn't know much scripture and sometimes they would bring the bible with them a bible they had and show me things and i didn't know what else to say but i would just hear the still small voice of christ saying hold fast i will give you the words to speak hold fast more imams came and now they became angry because they didn't see me changing they became impatient and they told muhammad you need to have this woman committed to an insane asylum and they were serious and muhammad considered it and at one time i thought he was and i had to pray because i had no help and many of women are missing in saudi arabia who have gone from the western countries with their husbands and families and husbands marry other wives and kill or bury them alive put them in insanity hospitals and i felt god i am so vulnerable right now i am at his advantage right now anything can happen and i said god please one evening as we sat for worship i would always keep one of my sons at the window to watch for when their father came we worshiped in faith and you see this was new for my children i was teaching them about jesus for the first time in their lives because we were just i was just freshly baptized and now i was teaching them they were muslims and so they would stay at the window and they say mommy's coming and we'd put away the books that we had and quickly stood up and i'll peel the potatoes they stopped you know doing their little toys and things but other than that we would worship god and the children felt the presence of jesus in our circle so often they would say mom he's here mom we love jesus i think he's more tender than allah and this this is some of the things they would start telling me as i watched them convert to the place where they said jesus is god it's not allah and we want to give our lives to allah to jesus and so as my son stood at the window that evening muhammad decided to come up the back stairwell we didn't see him we didn't hear him and he stepped in he found us worshiping he took all my books i rushed to the bathroom shut the door at that point i knew that i was dead meat i knew he was going to eat beat me to death if i had stayed out there the rage the anger that he came and you could feel that presence and so i locked myself in the bathroom door my son then knocked on the door and said mommy it's okay come on out he's gone but he's taken every book you got through customs sisters i was at my lowest at this point i spent time looking for the books i would cover go out at night look in the garbage see if he threw them in there didn't find them and then i would say god why am i suffering so much and i would just cry out to the lord and i say i'm not going to worship anymore because this is getting worse rather than better does it really mean all this pain to worship you god to have a relationship with you i started to doubt god and the days would go by and now muhammad decided he would now lock me inside of the apartment and i would go i would not be able to leave the the home during the day and he would take all the children with him all five children to his workplace and they would stay there all day and then come home with him at the end of the evening and i was going out of my mind just just isolated and and not having anyone to talk to or or have anything to do and so i was locked inside my kids would come home i'd feed them of course and you know make their meals during the day and my children started to encourage me mom we gotta still have worship let's do it mom remember jesus said he will bring back to our memory everything we've ever learned the comforter will come mommy let's do it and so we started to do that and we would sit in that circle and the spirit of the lord would come and it was beautiful we would worship god he would give us stories and songs it was amazing well eight days into the books being gone one evening my children came home and they were filled with anxiety you know when they're dying of birth bursting to tell you something but they gotta wait mohammed left as usual to the mosque and my son my oldest son said mom mom mom listen listen your books i said my books you've seen them i said yes we've all seen them and then the twins gathered around and said yes mommy we've seen your books they are all in papa's office and all the men are reading them i said what what and i stepped back and i thought of all the angry tones toward god and i repented i said i'm sorry lord truly your thoughts are not my thoughts neither are your ways my ways your ways are higher greater you have a bigger plan you took those books to a place where i as a woman could not go i cannot mix with the men but god allows trials hard trials sometimes in order to produce what he wants to produce and we get mad in the trials but god is doing another work the influence of those books on those men i know by the grace of god i'm going to see some of them in the kingdom of heaven i believe it i know it because our pain is not in vain pain is not in vain sisters but now it was mandatory for the boys to be praying they were at an age the twins were eight javed was nine and they had to be praying and that meant the mother teaches them how to pray and they have a christian mother and there's no way i'm going to teach them how to pray in islam or teach them how to pray using the quran and so at this point mohammed's devised another plan my books started to come back most of them came they tore some of them up and discarded of them but my bible came back my other hardcover books came back i was so happy but i realized why because muhammad had another plan he had another plan he told the boys one morning to get their coats i was fearful and i knew something was wrong i got that gut feeling i started to reflect on the dream i had a couple weeks ago where i saw my sons on a narrow path and i was trying to keep them on the path and they kept falling and i kept pulling them up pulling them up until finally they just slipped and disappeared and that dream came back immediately and that morning truly my sons were taken from me my three sons that evening i was visited by mona and sami and they gave me a letter with 300 reals and said mohammed said he'll be gone for ten days don't worry he's taken the boys to mecca medina actually to medina where they will be schooled as imams they will be priests you are not teaching them you therefore cannot rear them as your children anymore and i stood i couldn't believe what i was hearing and they gave me my two little girls and when i went into that home i just collapsed i said lord really lord i i didn't know what else to say 300 reals for food well sisters those 10 days turned into 20 days 40 days no mohammed no sound from anyone no communication i was going out of my mind and it was at that time i really had to stretch out and reach out to jesus i spent time praying with my little girls just the three of us i started to lose weight i started to lose my hair i started to fret and worry and then two months came there was no more money left for food we had run out of that a while back my little girls would go off into the outside of the home and just play and in the desert these are real life pictures of them i took that's how small they were and then we simply had nothing and i said lord david said i've been young and i've been old but i've never seen the righteous forsaken nor his seed begging bread i said father we're hungry we need food you sent the ravens to feed elijah feed us o god and i had to trust the lord i prayed for god's provisions i went door to door as it were with my empty rice and oil canisters and i showed the label i couldn't read there was no language that i could speak to convey my needs but the holy spirit was there and these women started to look at me the servants in the homes looked at me with pity and they started to fill my canister with rice with oil with seasonings and they knew there was a woman in trouble they knew and these women were amazing because you know how women are we read we have intuitive so much intuitiveness and and they started to send their servants over to my home with hot cooked food hallelujah as i think about it what a provision god put it in their hearts when we had nothing god gave us everything he said just trust me he says in the last days your bread and your water will be sure we are to trust god when we have nothing he will supply our needs and we're heading to that crisis very soon when every resource on earth will be cut from us and we must have learned prior to that how to trust god how to depend on him how to lean on him so if you feel you can't miss a meal you might be in trouble with the upcoming crisis i'm serious sisters we don't make the sacrifices and trade this is the training we are navy seals and the navy seals in order to dive into the depth they train hard mental and physical and i'm not talking about works i'm talking about god's grace empowering us to do this work it is his grace that does that we can't do it but he can and when we pray for his grace he empowers us and that's what makes the relationship with jesus a supernatural one that's how you experience the power of god and god is calling us to that higher experience no more mediocre christianity it's too late in the day it's time for that trusting depending training ourselves in the power and name of jesus these women brought food they brought good food and we ate and we gained weight hallelujah sisters i was depressed though at this time and i became suicidal you know just as we do we have the highs and our lows with jesus don't we the highs and the lows but how he wants us to be consistent doesn't he and i was very low at this time i had missed my sons it was two months over two months now and you know i was just trying to survive each day and i heard the door knock and in walked an imam you know the enemy comes at the lowest period of your life doesn't he and in walked this imam and he came with three bibles and he sat down he said muhammad has sent me i said where is muhammad he said i i will not tell you but i want you to know that if you become a muslim today you will have your sons back say the shahada say allah is only god and muhammad is his prophet and you will become a muslim and your sons will come back don't you love your sons don't you want your children and i started to tremble i trembled and i contemplated with god i i i took time and i said god i know how to behave like a muslim woman i know how to pray like them bow down i could pretend and then have my children back and so i was giving god my plan and and i can i can do this lord and then i can teach them secretly and nobody will ever know wow well god had another plan god spoke to my heart and he said as me he that loveth father or mother more than me is not worthy is not worthy and he that loveth son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me and he that taketh not his cross and followeth after me is not worthy of me he that findeth his life shall lose it and he that loses his life for my sake shall find it sometimes even god gives tough love he is god and he said you're going to either trust me with this one or not are you my witness are you going to trust me and i said god i will i'll trust you and i went back inside i felt this surge of power and i looked at those men and i said i looked at that man and i said keep my three sons for i would rather live this temporary time on earth without them and be in the kingdom of heaven with them eternally than have them for a short period under your rules and under the islamic rule and lose them eternally and i made that exchange sisters my mouth was moving my mind was engaged but my body was struggling with no what are you doing what are you saying and this is where i believe the diet the health message comes when you have to make decisions in a crisis the intelligence the consciousness is there god will speak on your behalf he will empower you to make right decisions under the most weightiest of trial live for jesus ladies it is a serious thing to live all the way for him there was no turning back at this point these men this man was angry he left when he slammed that door the whole building shook like an earthquake i cried i wept i went out of control at this point and i said lord i gave up my sons i won't see them again my god you're gonna have to comfort me but this pain cannot be comforted jesus you can't comfort me you can't you just can't comfort me as i cried out you know at the very end you all you have is his word and i reached out and i grabbed his word to my heart and i started flipping through the pages i said you need to talk to me you need to talk to me you need to let me know you are here you're with me god and as i turn the pages it opened up and i felt his presence come and i looked down and it said thus saith the lord a voice was heard in rama lamentation and bitter weeping rahel as me weeping for her children and listen to this refuses to be comforted because her children were not thus saith the lord refrain thy voice from weeping and thine eyes from tears for thy work shall be rewarded saith the lord and they shall come again from the land of the enemy and there is hope blessed hope in thine end saith the lord that thy children shall come again to their own border hallelujah i i dried my tears sisters i praised the lord and i stood on that promise for the rest of my time i said lord if i cry simply because i miss them but in the waiting period sisters god is searching the heart he's searching the heart he's wanting to see what's really there and i thought i was doing pretty good but in my heart i had become a murderer and i did not realize it i wanted to kill muhammad i was so hateful toward this man right now i hated him i didn't want to see him and i said when he comes i'm going to kill him how could he hurt me like this how could he take my sons like this and then god in those two months mohammed was gone started to show as me her heart it was no longer about muhammad it was about what was going on inside of me and then i came to the place where i realized that and i had to surrender and say god exchange this filthy murderous heart give me your heart give me your mind give me your spirit that i can live and be the a reflection of christ for muhammad when he comes lord i surrendered and he said finally now muhammad will come back and so muhammad returned and when he returned i embraced him i loved him i cared for him i cooked for him and the love in me was not my love it was an agape love it was a love that motivated me to do things i knew i could not do god was working in me to be a reflection to muhammad of who he is well muhammad came we were still in damam and that evening one of the evenings i should say he left to the mosque and when he left he left his briefcase and i went in there and i started to rummage through and i found a card from a woman he was having an affair with in india so the two months he was gone was because he was involved with another woman in an affair also i found that my children were not in medina but in india that night they had flown them immediately to india and they had told me they were in mecca medina but they were not so my children in india muhammad was having an affair and i have all this information and i say lord what must i do what must i do my three sons and there they are the only picture i have of them when they were in india are in india lord how can i get them father show me well few weeks later muhammad decides to take a new job and he flies off to riyadh he leaves the mom and leaves me and the two girls again for another two months and moves to riyadh two months later he finally sends for us and while we're there now in riyadh it's a better environment we now meet people in hospitals working doctors from england and other countries and america and i'm able to confide in some of these ladies and they share with me a plan to escape through cyprus and then go to india and get your children and immediately god put the brakes on and said as me no no you wait until your work is done you wait until i brought you here i will take you out and i said but lord and he said wait wait i say on the lord well my children became very ill i started hearing muhammad on the phone with his family in england and they were saying you need to go get the boys it was now six months that i had not seen my sons didn't know exactly where they were and what they were going through i just knew they were in boarding schools in india going from village to village two little eight-year-olds and one nine-year-old all by themselves in india talk about praying talk about the holy ghost waking me up in the middle of the night and say pray pray i would have dreams and see them scratching their heads hot flustered and i'd pray god remind them of the story of the worship the very last worship we had was about joseph being taken away to the land of egypt i said god remind them remind them how to eat remind them to be polite remind them to be christians the waiting seemed endless eventually mohammed left things were winding up and he had to go to get them and that day when that door opened and i saw my three little hebrew boys come i embraced them i loved on them it was an amazing experience we played games we hung out at the parks together and we made it for lost time god brought them back and my son says mom we're still christians they said even in the mosque we were praying allahu akbar oh jesus come and save us oh jesus come and take us back to our mom they said our faith is strong mom jesus gave us dreams and showed us that we would be rescued and two weeks later papa came and took us home god is still with us mom and so now muhammad decides he would get another wife he had to get another wife because the fact that i was not teaching them islam he needed another wife and so he said she must be the teacher i started to cry out to the lord at this point crying out asking god lord i cannot share my body with another woman do something father well i prayed for an army to come and i said god send an army do what you have to do blow up the oil tanks do whatever you need saddam hussein at that time entered kuwait and i said thank you for the army lord saddam hussein is my hero i said father thank you listen muhammad came home one evening and said we have to send all the families home only the men can stay by but all the families have to go home sisters our time had come our ministry had come to an end our family at that time was called by a friend of mine claire and they had bought air tickets six air tickets in faith knowing there was imminent war about to occur in the middle east and they made calls and the churches in england and the churches in america was praying for this little family stuck in saudi arabia and they sent six air tickets in faith with a date on it and when muhammad came and and started to share when i begged him for us to go he said no but then god did something again he came and he said we have to send all the families home the finances for our job and our employment has crashed there is no monies and they can only take care of the workers so all the families were now packing the wives and their children were packing we could no longer have the beautiful home we had they were putting them in single men's quarters so that with the air tickets there and everything we finally were able to fly out with dignity not running through the deserts looking across and seeing my precious five children and we finally landed in london heathrow airport and there i called muhammad i said muhammad we've arrived safely he says you left too soon he says my job is reestablished the finances are there all the families that were packed have unpacked and they're here but you were one of the first to leave he says i need you to come back and i said lord lord my work is it is it not done and i prayed and i went to the word of god as i normally do and as i open the word the word said galatians 5 1 stand fast in the liberty where with christ has set you free and be not entangled again with the yoke of bondage i said thank you jesus truly lord freedom has come for me freedom has come for me well muhammad went on to marry his wife we were divorced and now i was a single mom with five children there was an opportunity for me to leave england and go to america back to the united states the divorce went through the courts gave me full custody of all five children and i had nothing he was a wealthy man and i had nothing and i had i got custody so we left for the united states i was able to get into the uh to andrews university they had a single parent program there and i joined the program and finally started to pray god you said in your word those who have left mother father brother husband wife sister for your sake you will recompense them so i said lord bless me with a husband bless me with a good man who can be a priest in my home and help me rear these children while i'm here at school studying i was so afraid i was only 32 and i had teenage sons and i needed god to step in and help me i joined a prayer group and we were all praying for her husband for esme and her five kids and the folks were looking on like we'll pray okay five kids will pray as me in fact we'll fast and pray and listen we must believe when we pray sisters i prayed for a man who loved god more than me i asked god to create this man because he didn't exist really you know he's going to be a father of five children and then god spoke and said it's gonna marry a minister and i said lord no i'm a divorcee i have five children and god said that's going to be his first church a minister but god and i argued back and forth with god and god said no that's what i have prepared that's who i have prepared for you i said god i just want a little old man just a little old guy who's going to heaven who's serious who loves you more than me but god even though we've failed him he still gives us the best what a god what we don't deserve and so this play comes about and in this play a lady calls me up she said esme i heard you did a little bit of drama i said yeah i did a little bit and she said this place adam and eve would you play the part of eve i said sure who's adam and i said is he a minister and she said oh honey i don't know uh i think he's in computer science and says i ask god to create you know i'm thinking the way i believe god and i have a relationship i said but god you know create minister um okay all right so i said yes i'll be in the play and so the play was coming about i started to set a date that's right i started to set a date with god because it was october and i'm waiting on the lord because i told the lord i want to be married next june i sure did i gave god a date you know what when you've been through some trials with god you can ask of him anything ha i said lord we stood our ground i'm a single mom right now because of you so listen i said listen we we got to go through this together i want to be married next june god would you do that he says oh we'll see we'll work on it we'll work on it well that was my prayer next june all right and so god tells me i'm marrying a minister so guess where i go for my worship and devotion at andrews university i go to the seminary and i sit in the back and i'm scouting out all these pastors and i'm saying god which one is it oh he looks fine then i see his wife come in i said oh not him i say lord which one is it and i'm waiting you know if he says it was an engineer then i would have to go to the engineer school you got to obey his voice and so i'm in seminary watching to see who this pastor is and then i remember praying one morning it was my devotion time and i said lord i got a class to get to and i'm going to be late and finish it up i got i'm going to be late lord and i said father i need to hear your voice come on god speak when am i going to meet this man june is around the corner god come on it's coming up it's the end of october now and i'm praying and i sit in silence and i wait and then i hear god's voice say you will meet him tonight and i get up i put my backpack on i rush off to school and i'm excited because god spoke and i know that voice and that evening was the evening of the rehearsal the first rehearsal of the play and i'm thinking it must be adam but he's in computer science how is god going to work all of this how is it going to work all of this and so that night at the rehearsals this wonderful guy walks down he's handsome he's fine and i said lord and i said lord i'll obey your voice i'll obey your voice i've been there and done that i won't choose but i said father choose for me is it this man you said i'm going to meet him tonight so he comes up and i emerge from his side and i look into his eyes and there's love there's all this nice chemistry going on and i'm fighting the feelings and i'm saying god but he's in computer science well at the end of the play we step down and we finally introduce ourselves to each other this wonderful adam here and he says what's your major and i tell him i'm doing social studies social work in fact was my major at the time and i said so what is your major i you know i knew it was computer science he says well i'm just finishing up my last quarter in my in theology i said what and he said i've just been accepted into the seminary i said what you're going to be a pastor he said yeah he looked at me like what a weird woman i said like a pastor who preaches and teaches he said yes and i look up immediately i say thank you jesus for my husband thank you lord and i say lord when are you going to tell him and so that night we part i go on my way the play is a wonderful experience and the next morning i i can feel he kind of likes me you know and then when the play is done the two weeks of the play and he says um he doesn't know what to say but then he says you know can you can you me can we meet for breakfast in the morning i'd love to cook you a meal i said oh fabulous yes and so we meet and that's it we had breakfast that morning oh his story is another story and let me tell you god took him step by step for him to receive and accept his wonderful family and he thought i only had two kids at first because i always have the two little girls but then somebody told me man anybody who marries as me they got a full plate he says what do you mean she only has two kids he says no she has five what what a man of god loving god more than me he had to hear god's voice don't you agree amen and so heaven rejoiced at this decision i'm gonna get ready to sing my song to give god praise as we close out this section and i rejoiced on earth my prayer team rejoiced on earth and as i flip through these slides as i sing my song of gratitude to the lord how great thou art i pray that you will see god thank you father we kneel before you god because you are great you are a mighty god and you know how to save your children sorry father for hurting you and i thank you lord for entrusting me to carry this testimony oh god may i never cause you to lose trust in me ever i pray for my sisters my god they are going through trials of their own but let them find the joy of the lord to be their strength let them today take on a new attitude of renewal of mind to be that which they want to be to be the change lord that they see and desire let them live it out in their lives we thank you for this women's ministry this weekend may your name continue to shine through this place as we worship you in jesus name amen

Channel: BeyondPatmos

Views: 14,503

Rating: 4.6172838 out of 5

Keywords: adventist, sda, chistian

Id: a2sy7kf9a-M

Length: 78min 49sec (4729 seconds)

Published: Tue Jul 31 2018