Best of Ron & April - Parks and Recreation | Comedy Bites

I want to be your assistant really you hate it here so do you I'll make sure you don't have to go to any meetings if anyone comes to see you I'll scare them away wait April if you had to choose between these two ties you're hired I just figured I might as well get paid for being here ten months ago she was an intern who could give a craap but local government now she's our newest employee it's April yeah cherry come and celebrate no thanks well everybody let's get back to work where are you going I want to talk to Ryan about the size of my desk Jerry you have to schedule an appointment okay how about now Ron's not here he's right there I can see him I'll let you know when he's available and a girl morning lovelier oh man I am so tired I took a half-shift at the hospital last night and I had this really weird patient weird how I probably shouldn't talk about us one of the grossest things I've ever seen talk well this guy came in he got his hand stuck in a Pringles can and he tried to cut himself out did he use three and a half inch serrated buckets of blood he passed out over his arm and slumped onto the floor with a bunch of very good question April answer her yeah the bone showed everyone in the universe loves a gross medical story boom I win and so when I finally clean up the vomit I found the toe I forgot about the tail or did we crazy right story is awesome indeed thank you for sharing Jennie Anne was getting a little chummy when people get too chummy with me I like to call them by the wrong name to let them know I don't really care about them that's a genius move thank you you're welcome Lester Carson RAC confirming what that's not possible oh no hey good morning why are there six people outside who say they're waiting to meet with me so you know how you love me because you haven't had a single meeting with anyone since I became your assistant that's because every time someone calls and requests a meeting with you I always schedule it for March 31st why because I didn't think March 31st existed thirty days has September April March and November June and November today is March 31st you know so then how many meetings do I have today 93 okay okay well you know what to do right to me this situation is a blood-soaked nightmarish hellscape however to Leslie Knope oh why don't you take as many as you can and I'll cover the rest I have a better idea why don't I try to rustle up seven more meetings cuz I think it would be cooler if there were a hundred why don't we just stick to these 93 and see how it goes yeah well hello there you must be Ron Swanson Oh welcome to Casa Ludgate hello mr. lucky ah call me Larry Susie's boss Oh Rowland read-aloud gate oh you have no idea how nice it is to meet you oh come in for God's sake what can I get you to drink Oh could you take your shoes off please thank you so much nothing to drink Thanks Oh April around you have a guest I'll fetch her she's probably on I'll come with you okay you make yourself at home mr. Swanson thank you you must be April's sister I'm Ron hmm nice to meet you why are you here come back to work no come back I want you to come back well I don't want to come back the end I was talking to Andy about you and he made me realize that I need you back at work what did he say don't recall fine I'll come back good okay I'm leaving bye Zuzu bye Duke silver my mom has all your albums I recognized you the day we met have you told anyone no good girl Oh Lilli excuse me I had a meeting with Ron Swanson yesterday but had a little car trouble sorry he's busy right now oh well what can i reschedule sure hmm how about June 50th sorry do you think you could come back today at 265 he's available then what is going on looks like the only other day he has open is March number one teen does that work sir [Music] hey bro listen I was trying to buy this handcrafted mahogany wood model of b-25 mitchell Panchito aircraft for me don't sass me and I went to this website and this ad popped up that said hey Ron Swanson check out this great offer what's your question my question is what the hell like how do they know who you are yeah okay um there are these things called cookies where like if you go to a site and buy something it'll remember you and then create ads for other stuff you might want to buy so it learns information about me seems like an invasion of privacy dude if you think that's bad go to Google Earth and type in your address would you like to sample our vegan bacon 100% meatless yes please another please sir is there a problem I'm just making sure no one ever has to eat this I I don't think I can give you any more I want one I love food and stuff it's where I buy all of my food and most of my stuff hey can I get these how much are they two bucks apiece good deal anything else nope just the crows and the beef do you fish April no she shot gross let me give you a piece of fishing advice instead I don't when you have a fish on the line you don't just drag it behind the boat you either reel it in or you cut him loose especially if he's a nice fish with a big lovable fish heart you don't know what you're talking about maybe not maybe you really do hey Tandy maybe moving to indianapolis just to get revenge on him is a really good idea what do I know [Music] motion sensors do you live here April yeah do you live here no catch yeah I thought so I went home but I had this strange feeling that there was something wrong with you so I came back it's just a minor medical issue aids no I'm safe blindness no it's like a parasite or a virus or something you get from a bee I have a hernia do you have syphilis I said it's a hernia I know it's possible to have two things do you need a ride to the hospital yes please okay but I rode my bike here so I have to go home and get my dad's station wagon thank you I you're still here yeah I just wanted to see if you could tell are you still here you

Channel: undefined

Views: 4,379,332

Rating: 4.9127121 out of 5

Keywords: NBC, The Office US, Parks and Recreation, 30 Rock, Brooklyn Nine Nine, Michael Scott, Ron Swanson, Liz Lemon, Jake Peralta, Steve Carell, Nick Offerman, Andy Samberg, Tina Fey, rainn wilson, chris pratt, dwight schrute, amy poehler, parks and rec, andy dwyer, april ludgate, aubrey plaza interview, aubrey plaza conan, ron swanson quotes, ron swanson bacon, ron swanson i know more than you, ron swanson bacon and eggs, ron swanson bacon vegan

Id: c9of9E0e9co

Length: 10min 1sec (601 seconds)

Published: Thu Feb 28 2019