Best of @kallmekris Tik Toks 😂

diego what would you say is the biggest disconnect with bonita here we go you know like when you're outside and there's like a little mosquito that's flying around your ear it's like super annoying and you just you hear the you hear it in your ear and you slap it away and then and then it comes back and then you slap it again and then it comes back again and finally you kill it right and then and then but then like it somehow survives and it comes back again it's a super annoying sound in your ear all the time you know what i mean yes yeah that's my wife yeah i know i who's on the phone who is it is it sarah who's on the phone yeah no i'm still here anyway um oh how's she doing is she good how's her mom no it's just my mom she just wants to know how you're doing it she's good she's yeah okay her mom her mom's fine but you didn't ask you gotta ask her sir is your mom okay yeah see she's what her mom wants to talk to you mom teresa hey no i got time i got time yeah that's my no way hey how's it going sup you uh you take my new shirt dude i did not take your shirt take your sweater off then no i'm cold right now come on just just take it off i don't feel like it take it off no if you don't i will [Music] nope hey very mom can we play hide and seek oh yeah sure honey i'll count to ten you go hide all right okay oh [ __ ] i really gotta delete tick tock honey honey are you you [ __ ] oh my god okay there you are did i win yeah yeah you won honey yeah i'm very thirsty okay yeah of course let's go to mcdonald's how about we go mcdonald's okay just don't tell your father about any of this [Music] okay go get it okay bring it back come on come on come on bring it here okay i'm done with this [Music] [Music] are we good all right so how is motherhood oh yeah i love being a mother it's it's the best job in the world hey hey what are you doing no put the knife down could i have a minute to myself there was [ __ ] on the walls no get back here you know what you did so any regrets no no no regrets at all i know it's my second bottle leave me alone get the camera out of my face does having kids better your life i think everyone should have kids oh you and tony are thinking about having kids don't you want to travel nope can't do that you want alone time never again yeah go play yeah they're cute never shut up though don't stop taking birth control like i said i love being a mother [Music] do you like my makeover yeah you're beautiful kitty can i take you to spring fling dance i'd love that sick chad looks like she upgraded nice catch oh yeah totally he only likes me because i'm pretending to be somebody i'm not so are you not gonna go to the spring fling dance with him no chad so beautiful i am not going to the spring fling dance with you but katie you only like me because i got a makeover this isn't me katie i mean she's not wrong bro shut up bro i'm getting her back [Music] damn it katie want to dance yeah but wait perfect hi mom what did i say i said don't talk to me before i've had my morning coffee what do you want can i please watch frozen no but why because i watched that movie 12 000 times just this week and i'm not proud to say that i know every single word to that goddamn movie okay don't you like any other movies no we don't even watch the whole movie we just skip to those parts with a stupid little snowman please no please please [Music] hey dragon drag gun not lizard i don't do that tongue thing you're um intimidating awe inspiring tiny of course i'm travel sized for your convenience if i was my real size your cow here would die fright down bessie my powers are beyond your mortal imagination for instance my eyes can see straight through your armor oh all right that's it this honor dishonor on your whole family make a note of this this honor on you design on your cow i'm sorry i'm sorry i'm just nervous i've never done this before then you're gonna have to trust me and don't you slap me no more we clear on that all right okay okay let's get this show on the road tricky get the bags let's move it half up so as everyone knows i'm a digital artist and today i decided to draw chris collins as amphitrite if you've been following me for a while you know that i'm doing a series of turning celebrities into greek gods so yeah this is where the inspiration for this drawing came from anyway so infotrade is a minor greek goddess she's one of the several who ruled the seas she's actually the wife of poseidon i don't know why i chose this for chris collins i feel like her hair just gave me a sea blue vibe so yeah i spent all day sketching as you can tell by that time lapse and this is how it came out chris i really hope you like it everyone tag her in the comments and thank you to all the other big creators who've been commenting on this series i really appreciate your support guys you guys are all [Music] 911 what do you want hey there's a creepy man that came through my living room window home intruder yeah i hate that it's like mind your own business you know i know it's so rude are you safe yeah i'm in my closet you're in the closet yeah no wait my best friend's gay oh my god see him he's actually in my walk-in closet with me right now yeah okay walk-in closet subtle brad what's your address girlie it's 35 35 acorn drive no yes shut up bro we're neighbors oh my god um isn't it criminal we only have one starbucks yeah they always get my order wrong i know okay helps on the way as soon as i figure out what button to put don't you worry i mean take your time hello hello oh whoops i hung up on her oh my god he's in the game oh no he doesn't have a weapon it's fine i don't want to take a break just take the louboutins not the gucci oh my god no he has a gun he's gonna kill me it is 4am if i'm not dreaming right now i'm going to lose my goddamn mind where did i come from oh my god you came from mommy's tummy but why because that's where you were made but why because mommy and daddy thought we loved each other and we wanted to have a baby so we had you a table why just because because why you are really making me question my life decisions right now at 4am really just because honey i because why okay i'm dropping you off at grandma's today so where do you want to eat um wait let me guess let me guess taco bell sorry where do you want to eat starbucks so what's it like mowing my lawn all day i don't know what's it like eating peanut butter and jelly sandwiches all day what time is it don't you have to go to home depot soon to find work i'm just curious how many times did you get a divorce this year shouldn't you be watching a soccer game right now or something you'll be waiting in line for the next iphone oh i just got a call from immigration and um you're being deported i just got are you serious no dude it's a joke oh okay well i just got a call from abercrombie and fitch and they want their clothes back we're literally wearing the same thing yeah you're right so what's it like not having a green card so what's it like not having wi-fi why don't you just go eat a burrito bro why don't you just go eat some organic gluten-free fat-free uh water so tell me what's it like putting guacamole on everything you tell me what it's like putting guacamole on everything what's it like not paying taxes it's actually pretty nice oh yeah just a lot easier financially all right what do we want for dinner um can we get domino's um yeah we can do that you're up up for what order the pizza i've never ordered the pizza before yeah i know but you're 13. you can order the pizza okay i got stuff to do but what do i say just say what you want just get a couple large pizzas whatever large cheese one pepperoni please one cheat one [ __ ] what if they ask you let's pick up our delivery what's our address what name do i say to pick up all right are the pizzas on their way i couldn't do it you were useless give me this don't you ever make me do that again oh you know what i grabbed homo milk i meant to grab one percent let me just run and get that you stay right here all right please don't go you'll be fine i'll be back in two seconds okay thank you okay that's everything she's i'm just getting the milk i mom oh i don't have money you're staying at your uncle chad's suck yeah i need you to watch chris for me um already gone wait come in little dude welcome to uncle chad's crib little dude okay tv futon microwave mini fridge i'm gonna pop out a couple games for tonight help yourself okay sorry i lost track of time little d little dude what the hell zoe i knew we were related pass it over wrench it up a little dude i'm back what the hell hey hi what are you doing i'm making tick tocks oh yeah can i beat it sure [Music] [Music] meant to be [Music] all right honey here's the dinner i don't want dad i want to die no nuggies we don't have any dino nuggies but why we don't have any dino nuggies because when we went to the supermarket i forgot because you were too busy having a tantrum on the floor in the candy aisle i don't want that you're gonna eat what's on your plate no thank you okay here's what we're gonna do okay you're gonna finish what's on your plate okay and i will let you pick what movie we watched tonight oh dave can we watch frozen again fine okay i gotta go open a bottle of wine [Applause] is that you singing maybe well i thought it was really good it was me i was i was one singing thank you can i join you oh yes i was gonna do you're the one that i want from greece next if you go sit on the toilet over there the acoustics are really good i need to draw your volta so thank you go i got chills that multiply it actually does sound really good right okay good night honey okay mom yes honey can you eat me bedtime stewie i just read you a bedtime story please fine just pick out a book that bottle of wine on the counter is screaming my name right now oh day thanks honey we just read this but i like it fine in the great green room there was a telephone you didn't finish the book hi you guys are you ready to order now uh yeah i'll get the chicken alfredo please okay great and yourself uh i'll get this salad do you need more time or no that sounds fine yeah okay coming right up what's wrong he didn't wear solid then why did you order a salad because you were ready to order and she came and she asked that i packed okay well what did you want he just wanted the chicken tenders okay diego nice to see you again hello doctor you here for your annual checkup yes good good before we get started how's everything been uh you know i'm still married so pretty shitty huh you know what they say secret to a happy marriage remains a secret um that that doesn't help me at all do you smoke no you sure no you're not sure i mean i occasionally have like a cigarette or or like a joint or crack it's a yes or no question diego okay yes do you drink no are you sure i mean like like casually like at a party or a wedding or something like that you know right like my house alone every night what do you drink it's like a glass of wine at dinner okay that's healthy and then a shot of tequila okay and then another shot um and then a few more and then some more and then i usually pass out then i wake up and i take a few more so the answer is yes [Music] hey hey what the hell is all this ruckus in here buddy called me a bad word buddy did you swear at your sister yeah i did now you know i do not tolerate that kind of stuff in my house what is today sunday and who are sundays for jesus that's right sundays are for jesus so you better go on and apologize to your sister right now all right i'm sorry he's okay all right if you [ __ ] swear again i will put soap down your throat got it yes ma'am good i'll put your [ __ ] on my garmin life for church i want to see your cheeks glow red red red i promise you this girl you tease me you know what i want and i got your knee from the top thing for me and darling darling okay come on let's go come on what are you let's go come on drop it drop it you're not bringing that in the house drop it okay okay come on come on you

Channel: The Tiktok house

Views: 574,414

Rating: 4.9550877 out of 5

Keywords:

Id: KccxkZGtSc4

Length: 21min 17sec (1277 seconds)

Published: Thu Oct 29 2020