Best Funny Videos of The Infographics Show in 2019

in one corner we have the cosmic or born from the space between spaces and Stocking the multiverse for countless eons always seeking its next to meal any wise the dancing clown in the other corner we have the Clown Prince of Crime the ace of knaves or mr. J if you're nasty the Joker today on another special episode of the infographics who would win we have a colossal clash of clowns a beastly battle of buffoons a merry madcap Massacre as we pet Pennywise the dancing clown versus Gotham City's Joker and find out who would win in a battle to the death they call it it for a lack of a better name for a penny wisest true form is incomprehensible to the human mind born in the early moments of creation it exists in the space between worlds the home plane of existence for all matter of eldritch course though once every few millennia it finds a way in the vast ocean of nothingness that separates the stars and descends to feed hundreds of years ago it shows our world as a new feeding ground and descended into what would become Derry Maine there it slumbered beneath the earth until it awoke and consumed 300 English settlers returning to its long sleep in the modern age it took on the identity of Pennywise the dancing clown in order to lure children to their doom a sadistic butcher Pennywise feeds on human flesh but prefers to eat victims who are seasoned by fear and thus engages in a lengthy ritual of terrifying its prey though many believe that Pennywise is real form is that of a giant spider the truth is that no mortal mind can comprehend the true form of Pennywise and a giant spider is the closest that the human mind could come to understanding the predatory nature of this eons old killer it seems that Pennywise is preferred form here on earth is that of a clown but has the power to shape-shift into anything or anyone it desires Pennywise is also very fast though not supernaturally fast and extremely agile add to that formidable foe again not superhero levels of strength and you have quite a challenge for the Joker to deal with for all his strengths though Pennywise has one glaring weakness deep down inside Pennywise is a coward unless its prey is terrified Pennywise cannot defeat it and in fact is very easily driven off by individuals who learn to master their fear of Pennywise and it's illusions while physically able to overpower any human being Pennywise has such a crippling weakness to courage that it can't even bring its superior strength to bear on any individual that stands up to it this has twice now seen Pennywise defeated by nothing more than children it said that no man knows the true identity of the Joker not even the Joker himself when asked about his past by his archenemy Batman the Joker remarks sometimes I remember it one way sometimes another if I'm going to have a past I prefer it to be multiple choice whatever his origin the Joker is certifiably insane and qualifies for every mental illness he was ever tested for during his brief stay at Arkham Asylum nobody knows where he came from or what truly led to his unique look in twisted personality but everybody knows about his modern exploits one of the most accomplished criminals of all time The Joker oversees a vast criminal empire and yet is not content to simply rule from above often taking to the streets alongside his henchmen out of sheer enjoyment for the dirty work a complete madman The Joker's utterly unpredictable and can one day be a complete harmless prankster and the other a homicidal maniac who doesn't hesitate to kill even children yet it seems the Joker has at least some morality and like the rest of the world hates Nazis even going so far as to get into a fight with Red Skull during the final stages of their criminal plot when he realized that the latter swastika wasn't worn as a joke but as part of his actual uniform even the Joker knows that Nazis are bad for all his infamy though the Joker possesses no superpowers he isn't fast super strong or super tough he can't use telekinetic powers or summon bolts of lightning from out of the blue The Joker is in every way just a normal human being and yet he is one of the most feared of all supervillains what he lacks in superpowers the Joker makes up for in a keen intellect which thanks to his fractured mind works in ways that other people simply can't predict he is routinely outmaneuvering the mightiest of superheroes and leaving other supervillains completely stumped as they try and get a handle of how the Joker thanks and that's the thing nobody can think the way the Joker can as it takes a severe we broken Minds to even come close and this leaves him with his greatest strength the constant element of surprise so in one corner we've got the interdimensional flesh-eating monster that's existed for as long as time and in the other a criminal mastermind who's so crazy he's just as likely to pull off the world's greatest heist as he is to turn himself in for littering who would win in this battle to the death Pennywise is clever but its cleverness relies on the ability to observe a victim and learn their fears with some low-level psychic power Pennywise is even able to delve into the mind of a victim and tease out the most painful and terrifying memories then use them as inspiration to create horrifying illusions or force a victim to relive their most emotionally traumatic moments in battle Pennywise really only has one strategy overwhelming opponents mental defenses through horror and deep emotional pain because if they ever get a chance to recover and gather their courage Pennywise is done for and left helpless as a baby in this scenario delving into the Joker's mind is going to leave Pennywise reeling from the backlash of extreme insanity Pennywise will find itself flooded by hundreds of psychopathic thoughts trying to find a way through a mind that has been broken for decades if Pennywise tries hard enough to focus its powers it may find a few fleeting memories of emotional trauma but even these are not guaranteed to be real and forcing the Joker to relive them could have completely unpredictable effects as the Joker himself said he can't remember his own past and he prefers to leave it having multiple choices penny wisest initial psychic attack is going to it as it's forced to confront a thoroughly fractured psyche a psychic land of illusions and misdirection with paths leading to nowhere before they curve back around and in on themselves penny wise cannot make the Joker afraid because diving into his mind would be like running through a fun house full of distorting mirrors and in fact penny wise might itself be lost within the madness of the Joker's mind The Joker has a plan he always has a plan even if he doesn't remember it at the moment or if he doesn't even know he has a plan because of the part of his brain that came up with the plan has it communicated it to the part of his brain man he knows it has a plan yet in a one-on-one deathmatch the Joker is at a disadvantage because he's been denied the most part of his genius the time to actually plan yet as he confronts a penny wise that's reeling from its peak into pure insanity the Joker is going to realize that he doesn't need a plan penny wise needs its prey to be afraid of it or else they can easily overpower it yet because penny wise cannot dive into the Joker's brain due to his extreme insanity penny wise will never realize that there is only one single thing that the Joker is truly afraid of not being taken seriously penny wise is thus defenseless because no scary form that it can assume will ever scare the Joker for the Joker defeating this ageless cosmic evil in the shape of a clown will be as easy as picking up a baseball bat and giving it a few good whacks with his true fear shielded by a mind far too broken to read The Joker will easily defeat penny wise and send the eldritch horror skittering back into the dark places between reality to lick its wounds another challenge episode and another cruel test we put one of our staff writers through for your scientific curiosity this time we're concerned with the effect technology has on our lives as various studies have shown children spend less time outdoors now than ever before instead of being outside playing on bicycles or romping through the woods kids today are spending the majority of their free time inside playing video games and instead of getting together to chat with friends they chat over voice chat services or inside their favorite games we're not saying this is all bad but we do wonder what the effect of never going outside has on the average person so to answer that pressing question we once more sacrifice the health insanity of one of our junior staff writers in order to seek answers hello and welcome to another challenge episode of the infographic show today we're going to see what happens if you don't go outside for a full month the rules are simple our guinea pig I mean employee must stay indoors for a full 30 days with absolutely no stepping out for any reason whatsoever to that effect we hooked them up with in-home grocery delivery so that there's no reason to leave the house with high-speed Internet Netflix and home delivery of groceries what more could a person want let's find out day one another challenge I'm positively thrilled at least this time I don't have to eat any at Tomic peppers or go without sleep which was a nightmare by comparison this staying indoors thing sounds like a breeze I already worked from home anyway so aside from shifting responsibility for walking the dog over to the girlfriend there's not much of an adjustment to be made it does suck I'll miss a few movies that are coming out because I love seeing them in theaters but I'm sure I can catch them after the 30 days in one of the cheaper places it'll be tricky to navigate some of my social responsibilities like hanging out with me or the girlfriends friends but nothing that should be hard to explain away I'll keep a journal as usual of my experiences and like usual I've done my research first on what I should expect first there's the obvious warnings about vitamin D deficiency apparently there's very little food that has any vitamin D actually in it and we received most of what we need from the Sun the sun's rays convert fats from the food we eat into activated vitamin D called calcitriol which in turn helps us absorb and use calcium which strengthens and grows our bones if you don't get enough vitamin D you can actually develop the rickets and osteoporosis as your bones weaken and you can be susceptible to them breaking which would really suck lastly apparently your skin can become discolored as you lose pigmentation in your skin until you start looking like one of those cave salamanders they find living deep underground I asked the girlfriend if she'd still loved me if I turn into a cave salamander and she told me I was stupid and to get a real job she's clearly less a fan of these challenge episodes than I am vitamin D apparently also helps combat things like prostate cancer which is of great concern to me as I happen to be very happy with the current state of my prostate it also helps combat heart disease and improve circulation by managing the levels of nitric oxide in your blood and skin which lowers blood pressure lastly exposure to sunlight and fresh air helps combat depression and numerous studies all say that being stuck indoors is a great way to get yourself into a pretty deep funk apparently just looking at the color green can help fight depression and lift your mood which I guess makes sense given our evolutionary history growing up in the outdoors also helps explain why just about everyone finds green fields of grass so comforting a sight in light of the health effects I listed I thought I maybe should take a vitamin D supplement and maybe put up some posters of green grass but I decided in order for this experience to be you're on couldn't cheat so once more putting my health on the line for the sake of science or at least YouTube day 7 it feels strange not having been outside for a week straight especially because typically me and the girlfriend make plans every Saturday that go out and do something together this week it was just staying at home and watching some red box which of course she had to go get I can tell the experiment is definitely annoying her more than me so far because it's her that has to wake up every morning and take the dog out or take him out when she comes back home plus it's her that has to run every errand that can't be done over the phone or online I have to admit this whole thing isn't so bad after all though I'm definitely going to owe her afterwards my mood and health seemed fine though I have to admit it does get a little bit boring just sitting inside everyday even with the internet and TV curious how this next week is gonna go day 14 after Pol Pot was to post in Cambodia he got sentenced to house arrest which is kind of a weird punishment for someone who killed millions of people it's almost like nobody could really wrap their minds around all that murder so they just sort of said okay well just stay inside your house until you die yet Ted Bundy got the death sentence for killing like Oh point zero zero zero one percent that amount what a strange world we live in anyways I have no idea how full pot managed to do it especially since he had no internet this week was boring with a capital B and I guess I never realized just how much I take for granted even just things like going to the store or quick hangouts to grab a drink and coffee with a friend I guess my mood is definitely shifting a bit and the girlfriend confirmed that I am lacking my usual sunny disposition though I think she was being sarcastic I told her I needed realistic and accurate observations of how my mood may be changing that it was important and she just laughed at me and reminded me that I work for YouTube FairPoint tomorrow starts week three and I'm not looking forward to the boredom day 21 I'm pretty sure I've played through every game in my Steam library and side note here but when are they finally going to make an ex-con 3 the boredom is real and I find that I'm even looking forward to taking the dog out early in the morning to get something I hate because I'm warm and snug in bed and I want to keep sleeping my mood is definitely tanking I think and I actually find myself anxiously pacing sometimes when I'm alone I think my body is literally dying for some basic exercise I read up on deep vein thrombosis and now I'm terrified because apparently blood clots can form in your veins if you don't move around enough sitting at my computer chair or on the couch as I so often am I am definitely not moving much if at all wouldn't that be a way to go a blood clot forms in my leg and travels to my heart stopping it in its tracks r.i.p youtube killed him I told the girlfriend and she didn't think it was funny at all and for the umpteenth time told me my job was dumb my appetite is also being weird I've settled into just eating sandwiches most of the time even though I can technically have any groceries I want delivered I just find that I don't have as much appetite and simple ham cheese and salami sandwiches are perfectly fine girlfriend is worrying about my health because salami is so high in sodium and there's the concerns about blood pressure from a lack of sunlight already so far I feel okay if just kind of generally fatigued and I guess kind of down I mean I wake up and there's just nothing really to do with my day every day is a bit like Groundhog Day which I watched twice this last week by the way next week is technically the final week so I'll wait until day thirty for my final report day thirty tomorrow I get to go back outside and I couldn't be happier I feel like a prisoner kept in isolation except at least they give an hour of exercise a day in the sunlight I honestly never realized how much I take it for granted being outside even if I'm not being a super outdoors person and just popping out to a walk the dog or run errands I also realized that I probably wouldn't cut it in solitary confinement I'd be one of those ones that goes crazy and starts talking to himself my mood has absolutely tanked but it's buoyed knowing that this weird experiment would end in 30 days so I guess I didn't get the full effect of being completely isolated from the outside world I imagine that if I went into this not knowing when it would end my mood would definitely be far worse than it is now and I don't doubt that depression is a very real thing for people who don't get to go outside or just choose not to my appetite has totally tanked to though strangely I've been finding myself drawn more and more to fatty or sugar rich things to eat and drink and I typically try to limit myself to two maybe three sodas a week but this last month I've been drinking them almost every single day I've also been eating really sweet snacks and foods like french toast and cookies I think my brain is literally looking for any pick-me-up it can and so it's getting its high from sugary stuffs I definitely noticed that I feel much better after having a soda or eating a few cookies unfortunately that's definitely given me a bit of flab around the midsection which was really surprising or I guess shouldn't have been really I asked the girlfriend if she still found me sexy and she laughed and said still she's a regular comedian but I can't be too mad at her because she's been the champ about all of this now though I have to run every errand and take the dog out for a month straight to make it up to her though I'm sure I'm not gonna hear the end of this anytime soon my final conclusion is that it's definitely not healthy to stay locked up inside for a month my diet sucks my appetite is in the trash and I've gotten visibly unhealthier I feel faint even at just the thought of strenuous exercise and I'm sure that my blood pressure is putting up some pretty unhealthy numbers I'm also absolutely stir-crazy and there's no amount of video games or movies or books in the world that could keep me cooped up inside permanently I don't think I would cut it in solitary confinement or in an underground bunker if World War three ever kicked off screw it let me outside and I'll happily die in all the radiation or just become a ghoul and start picking off wastelanders if you always tell the truth you'll never have to remember a lie that's very sage advice and a good tip for living your life without fear of being caught in embarrassing social situations yet everyone lies even if it's just small white lies in polite conversation could you go a full week without telling even a single polite lie though today we're finding out as we once more turn to your favorite guinea pig in this special challenge episode don't lie for a week day one put a strange challenge I have to admit this is another one of those that seems really easy right off the bat but with some more thought the sinister truth is revealed I don't make a habit of life in fact I pride myself in being honest even when it's at a detriment to myself I even go so far as to make sure that I don't make any promises I doubt I can keep which is something we routinely do as people you don't have to be an underhanded liar to make promises you're only half way sure you can keep and often we do this to make other people feel good but I've made it a point to ensure that what I say is what I do no matter what that means that sometimes I can't make certain promises and it's been awkward and difficult in social situations at times and that's when the truly sinister nature of this challenge hit me I can't lie at all for a week even in the meaningless conversation with people that fills our lives see the reality is that we all lie all the time when you go to the store and the cashier or clerk asks you having a good day how many of you have told the truth how many times have you had a really horrible day and just said the truth to a complete stranger of course you don't do that's because you want to grease the wheels of polite social interaction so everyone joins in the big fake theater production that we call daily interaction and we tell giant lies to each other oh my day was wonderful thank you for asking the clerk doesn't really care what your day is like and you are definitely not gonna tell her that your day was absolute crap because then you'd be a weirdo and yet somehow it's less weird to be a huge liar and pretend your day is fine yet if you were to lie to this person about something else like the fact that you swapped price tags on an item she'd be furious it's strange when you think about it the way that you can be a total weirdo for not lying sometimes and yet still be a bastard if you do lie other times so I guess I've realized that this challenge is going to be harder than I thought in a way though I'm kind of excited about I get to drop my mask for a full week and just tell the honest truth I get to be completely blunt well more blunt than I typically am and that's kind of liberating so at the same time that this challenge worries me I'm kind of eager to get it started see you guys midweek in two days day three I feel like I saved this a lot but this challenge is harder than I expected and as I predicted the real challenge comes from the polite little white lies we constantly tell each other I read some articles on lying out of curiosity and it turns out that 60% of people tell at least one lie in a 10 minute conversation men and women both tell the same amount of lies but the difference is in how they lie women are more likely to lie in order to make someone feel better while men will hide to make themselves look better this makes sense I've watched my girlfriend interacting with her friends before and definitely caught her telling some minor whoppers for the sake of making a friend that feels bad feel better no I don't think your boyfriend is cheating on you but I do think you guys should talk I've heard her say this one before to a friend whom we both highly suspected had a boyfriend that was definitely cheating on her but of course you can't just say to someone with a breaking heart yeah your boyfriend is a scum bucket you have to be gentle prod them toward the truth with a tiny little lie give a tiny little bit of hope that will move the person in the right direction toward discovering the truth on their own of course I've done the same thing I clearly remember once in conversation with another couple we had just met where I rounded up on the number of days one of my art shows featuring my photo prints lasted it wasn't a huge rounding hair I simply went from about 13 days to quote about half a month in court for the sake of simplicity but it was in fact a lie and it did make me look better in the eyes of the people I told it to it's probably difficult to ascertain the ferocity of a study on lying when people can well lie about the results but this one seems to be right on the money anyway so the little white lies that I'm not telling have been getting me in trouble or at least into awkward social situations I went to the store and decided that it be the perfect place for my first stab at this challenge since the cashiers at my local grocery store constantly ask how my day is and if I found everything okay George be told my day was going pretty okay but when I got to the register a little kid belonging to the woman behind me kept acting up and running into me as he threw his little temper tantrum so when the cashier asked me if everything was okay I told him that I wish that they would throw bratty little kids out of the store if their parents refused to discipline them BAM just like that everyone sort of froze then the woman behind me said excuse me and that's when all hell broke loose I slowly turned to her face and knowing I couldn't lie I said I think you're a terrible parent because you get discipline your child as he repeatedly runs into random strangers as he's throwing a temper tantrum in public I had my girlfriend with me because we were doing our weekly shopping and at this point her jaws slowly dropped open and she got this really blank look on her face then a flash of recognition struck her as she realized that I couldn't tell a lie the woman's mouth fell open too as if she was going to say something but she sort of just stood there sucking in air angrily like a fish out of water it gave me enough time to swipe my debit card and pay for my groceries then calmly walk away my girlfriend still hadn't said anything and when we got into the car she simply put her hand over mine and said please don't get us killed this week next stop was Trader Joe's to pick up a few things we prefer to buy there over a normal grocery store for those of you who don't know tjs is a bit fancier grocery store whose quality seems on average a little better than a normal store but it's also pricier and I have a love-hate relationship with it some things are well worth the price but other things are just marked up nonsense meant to cater to the all-organic crowd who pays extra money for buzzwords on the packaging that nutritionally and scientifically mean nothing so this time our shopping went without incident and we get the cashier who asked did you find everything okay and that's when things went south again as soon as he started asking this question I think my girlfriend had a flash of recognition and remembered my opinions on Trader Joe's prices because she tried to cut him off too late though he asked the question and I was obliged to answer truthfully actually no I found that you guys are marking a prices on a lot of items for no other reason than that they're labeled organic and yet not only is organic food no different nutritionally than non-organic food in a lot of cases it's both more polluting for the environment and more dangerous to human health and non-organic food because of the use of organic pesticides your trendiness is gouging people financially hurting them physically and making the world a worse place I'd like our viewers to imagine going to a Veterans Day Parade and then jumping over the railing and running out into the parade butt-naked while screaming I love al-qaeda that is in effect what's saying anything negative about organic food in trendy Los Angeles is like now imagine that it's not a Veterans Day Parade that you're crashing as you scream that you love al-qaeda but that it's the Pentagon itself that's what it's like to trash-talk organic inside of Trader Joe's or a Whole Foods in Los Angeles it's social suicide if not actual suicide as hordes of angry hipsters tar and feather you for fact-checking organic gods someone might as well just died inside that store after my answer given how quiet the checkout lanes got my girlfriend just facepalm herself and I could tell that she was already thinking how she could never return to this particular Trader Joe's again I guess it's a good thing there's one every three miles in this town you know this challenge worried me at first but I'm finding it strangely liberating almost likin it day seven I think nobody is more happy this challenges over than my girlfriend who is probably right now carefully reconsidering what friends she can and can't hang out with anymore and which stores she's allowed to show her face at anymore after our shopping Fiasco's this week went on much is normal and then the weekend got here this weekend we had another social function to go to which is pretty much a must do for every person who works in any capacity within the entertainment industry here in LA basically they're just get-togethers for actors producers writers and directors who all try to find someone with more power and influence or money than them and then they suck up to them all night long trying to get them interested in their project it's huge waste of time and i 100% hate these things but they are sadly a bit of necessity for working professionals so they can occasionally do some real networking I typically haunt the bar while the girlfriend networks for the both of us because I'm not a people person this event was different because I had a secret superpower up my sleeve to handle the evening with I couldn't lie not even a tiny polite lie to make awkward conversations a tiny bit better I had to 100% tell the truth and I was really really looking forward to it probably as much as the girlfriend was dreading it she warned me at least five times to be nice and I told her that I was going to be so nice that I would be 100% honest with everyone that did little to calm her down at first the evening went okay then inevitably we both got cornered by someone we've met before who constantly tries to talk about his project which always sound terrible and I have absolutely zero interest in he's always been a nice enough guy in I've always found a polite way to excuse myself from the conversation this time I couldn't do that so this time I simply said I'm sorry none of this interests me at all and I don't see us ever collaborating on anything so instead I'm gonna go get a drink then I walked away I don't know how he reacted because I wasn't looking but I did catch him glaring at me later in the night see told you people get mad at you if you tell the truth pretty much as often as if you lied to them and they found out needless to say I will likely not be making a reappearance at any of these networking events anytime soon and you know what I'm totally okay with that truth be told I was afraid of this challenge at first but by the end of this week I feel kind of liberated I've no doubt earned a bunch of social bridges and I can probably never step foot in at least four different grocery stores now but any bridges I burned were with scumbags anyway so I'm feeling pretty okay about this last week the girlfriend on the other hand is a bundle of nerves right about now because she's always been our social diplomats smoothing the rough waters I accidentally created this week she's been the League of Nations trying to prevent World War one she deserves a medal for all the social cleanup work she's going to have to do for the next few weeks I really felt like I owed her one so just before the clock ran out on the week-long challenge I reminded her that I couldn't live for another five minutes then looked at her as she lay in bed reading with no makeup on and her hair a mess and I told her that she was the most beautiful woman I'd ever met she got a big smile on her face and I think everything's gonna be okay after all hello infographics fans we're back with another special challenge episode where we explore the deepest questions science doesn't dare ask and then make your favorite and most expendable writer answer them today we're tackling the issue of obesity once again but now we want to know what role does food play in our instant gratification culture to find out we're putting our favorite guinea pig through 30 days of nothing but fast food as usual he'll update us on weekly progress so strap in and stay tuned for challenge eat only fast food for a month day one I have to admit I'm not looking forward to this one at all I don't really like fast food I mean I used to when I was a kid but when you start having to pay for your own food you kind of hit a point where you think to yourself why am i paying to eat garbage now it's all I'm going to have to eat for the next 30 days and all I could say is I'm glad the pay is worth it naturally the fitness freak girlfriend did not take this well at all but I worked some of my charm on her to ease her through this one and by worked some of my charm what I actually mean is that after the 30 days are up I'm going to owe her a big time again so beforehand I did my research on what I could potentially expect we've all seen supersize me and after it came out everyone hated fast food until it was realized that Morgan Spurlock fudged quite a bit of the quote experiment unquote for the sake of drama I'm going to keep it simple I'll figure out how many calories I'm taking in and keep track of my weight as well as mood and energy levels etc I'm less interested in the numbers and more on what the actual physiological effects are on me in my life the effects of eating lots of fast food vary but some of the scarier ones include diabetes apparently that's because fast food is loaded with carbs that have almost no fiber and when your body breaks those empty carbs down they turn into glucose which pumps up your blood sugar levels to regulate your body releases insulin but if you do this too many times your body can actually stop responding to the blood sugar leading to insulin resistance or type 2 diabetes nothing I've found said that 30 days of nothing but fast food is merely enough to do this though the other major side effect is duh weight gain the American Heart Association wreck only 100 to 150 calories of added sugar per day or 6 to 9 teaspoons but a 12 ounce soda has eight teaspoons of sugar so kiss the rest of your daily allowance goodbye then of course there's added sugar in the food itself in order to make it taste good I heard of rumor that McDonald's soaks their potatoes in a sugar water solution to enhance their flavour but that's just a rumor what's not a rumor is that their fries are actually pretty amazing there's also added trans fat in fast food and every health website pretty much says that there's absolutely zero levels of trans fats that are healthy for you luckily for me fast food is loaded with trans fat so hooray then there's concerns over sodium but that only seems to be a real issue for people with weakened hearts and blood pressure conditions which I do not have although the ahea recommends that you eat no more than 2300 milligrams of sodium per day and a single fast food meal contains as much as half your days worth so basically what I'm gathering from all this research is that we need to add more hours to the day so that then one meal won't have almost all of my daily allotment of sodium calories and sugar you're welcome fast food industry I just ended your biggest marketing nightmare just add more hours to the day and your meals won't have an entire day's junk limits in one sitting I should have been a madman okay so as usual I'll update weekly starting weight is 165 pounds and I confess that I exercise regularly so my results probably aren't going to be the same as a couch potato in fact my fitness nazi girlfriend has promised that she's upping our workout routine viciously because she's starting your own 30-day challenge called I'm going to not let my boyfriend get fat and crush him physically to make sure it doesn't happen day 7 I've been doing some rough tabletop math just to figure out how many calories up and taking in based off what I can find on different restaurant websites and I'm pretty sure I'm running at about 3000 calories a day well over the 2,000 a day natural limit we're supposed to be taking it I've been hitting up McDonald's and grabbing Big Macs with fries so that's about 1,000 calories right there and then grabbing in and out for a double-double with fries which is about 1100 calories by the way if you don't have an in-and-out read why do you even live there it's basically the only fast-food restaurant that doesn't taste like fast food and the only place where I actually feel the money I spend is worth of food I'm getting in return other places like McDonald's I typically feel and might just as well even the ten dollars I spent vomited the Tanner back up and then eaten the vomited $10 bill I've also been hitting up Del Taco though until I realized that Chipotle very much still counts as fast food but is infinitely better I considered Taco Bell but then I remembered that I don't actually hate my own existence and I like eating things that on some level are considered food Carl's jr. has been good to me and honestly I'd say their quality is definitely in the upper tier of fast food though far below in and out then again being upper to your quality and fast food is like being the smartest dumb guy you're still an idiot speaking of dumb guy I was getting the Swiss chicken sandwich at Carl's jr. thinking to myself hey it's chicken this is definitely healthier than a burger and guess what it's 780 calories over 200 calories more than a Big Mac even that doesn't compare with the half-pound mile-high bacon thick burger though which is a whopping 1230 calories okay so I've been getting in right around 3,000 calories a day this week and I've been skipping breakfast because every fast-food breakfast is awful I hit the scale and weighed 167 but that's definitely within natural fluctuation so I can't say I've actually gained that much weight already there's also the fact that the girlfriend has been running me during our exercise time like an old drill instructor a job I suspect she is secretly loving first week done and I got to say I feel pretty normal day 14 I've been trying to switch it up other than just hitting the same few places over and over again I got to tell you a fast food really tastes the same everywhere you go and that's predominantly awful thank God for in and out though and Chipotle at least those taste like real food I'm definitely no food snob I've eaten way too many cold MREs in my life to ever be one but I think if we were all honest with ourselves we did admit that fast food tastes good for like the first five bites and after that it tastes like depression loneliness and suicide my mood is definitely affected I feel sluggish both physically and mentally girlfriend got called up for an acting gig that took her away for most of the week so she hasn't the slave drive me into exercise oblivion and at kind of wish he had I tried to switch things up and added Panda Express to the mix just to get away from Mexican food and burgers two servings of orange chicken and fried rice are just over 1500 calories how in the world that I think this would be a healthier option I've been going to a lot of fast-food places guys and it turns out that burgers are overwhelmingly the most healthy option I'm at 169 pounds this week which is definitely past normal weight fluctuation if I remember right it's the high point I got to when I did the only soda for a month challenge and it's only halfway through well this is definitely not going to be the month of washboard abs day 21 I am legitimately dreading meal time at first it was kind of fun to eat fast food all the time especially since I rarely get to then it became boring and repetitive spoiler alert it all starts tasting the exact same then it very quickly became a mini hell I literally feel like my blood has turned into barbecue sauce I could probably flavor my own food just by cutting myself open I now hate fries and I've always always loved french fries now I think we just need a new potato famine I kind of wish I could go back in time to the famous Irish potato famine just so I could gloat over all those dead potatoes not so much the dead Irish though this week I added Wiener schnitzel to the mix and then I immediately took Wiener schnitzel out of the mix remember how I said that Carl's jr. was the upper tier of fast food earlier well Wiener doesn't even rank it's just not food period physically I can't keep up with the girlfriend when we exercise anymore she outruns me she out boxes me I'm on the verge of passing out while she's still warming up I'm at a hundred and seventy two pounds and that's not major weight gain but the fast food just literally I don't know it weighs you down physically it's like jamming chocolate and marshmallows into a car's engine I feel absolutely terrible and my mood has definitely been quite a bit darker the girlfriend has definitely taken note of the mood change and she's been sending me corny one-line jokes while she's still at work because she knows I love bad dad jokes it's actually really sweet of her then she comes home and kicks my ass working out only one week left and I'm seriously looking forward to this one being over day thirty final weight is 174 pounds or 9 pound weight gain over 30 days I have no doubts that if I hadn't been exercising as much as I do I could have easily done some pretty high double digits I know Morgan Spurlock fetched a lot of things in his Super Size Me Doc but honestly a lot of the stuff he presented was spot on fast food kills your mood absolutely ruins your sex drive and destroys your energy levels I used to breeze a two mile run now I'm dying at a mile girlfriend celebrated the end of the challenge by going out and buying a bunch of healthy stuff to make for lunch and dinner for the next week and I got to tell you after all that garbage I've been eating seeing the rows of fresh vegetables and fruit and our fridge has kind of got me salivating I can't say that I hate fast food now and will never eat it again in fact I think this challenge has helped me identify exactly which fast food I do like and which I'll never touch again but I definitely have no desire to eat fast food for at least a year my final verdict is this if you're eating fast food pretty regularly and feel terrible about yourself or depressed all the time try and stop or cut down you'll be amazed at how much fast food is to blame for how you're feeling or at least making bad feelings much much worse four weeks of three to 4,000 calories a day especially such low nutrition calories have absolutely wrecked me and I can't imagine what it must do to people over the really long term imagine this during the night you've been having this epic dream where you're in this totally new world you're the master of this new place both creator and destroyer artists in Mad villain you start to get the feeling though that this dream might be a nightmare because all the time you have this feeling that an insidious being is lurking right behind you then the alarm clock goes off except something weird is afoot the sound is not your usual chorus of birds chirping but a saddle track you've heard before in a video game you open your eyes and you are inside a room made entirely of blocks everything hard angles with no curves to be found you hold up your arm and scream out loud you don't have any fingers you're in a world of crude graphics and that alarm clock music you realize is the Minecraft soundtrack now you realize what that ominous entity was it was minecraft Steve he's turned your world into his and now he wants to kill you so there you are in this new 3d world which is just like Minecraft except it represents the normal world you're used to living in you just sit there on your bed looking around staring down at your handless arms kind of trying to rub your eyes and hoping to wake up but that doesn't happen this is real you're stuck in Minecraft maybe that wouldn't be so bad if you ever actually played the game of course you'd seen it and know a bit about it but you were just one of those kids that never really got into it you kind of wish you had now what you do know is that this dream was trying to tell you something which is that this Steve character doesn't want you in this world you're pretty sure that this guy is going to come and get you and he will pulverize you when he sees you okay so you're at one with this now it's survival mode it's you versus Steve and there can only be one who reigns supreme in this new world just what kind of powers are you up against and just as importantly what kind of powers do you now have first things first you got to get off that bed of yours and walk over to the side of the bedroom it feels very weird at first kind of like gliding over the floor without anything that looks much like your old feet but it actually feels quite smooth when you think about it you can handle this you step outside and there in the garden you see that little wooden shack dad built on it the word inventory is written and now you remember that in the game Minecraft you collect materials by digging and mining which you can use to craft stuff someone has already filled that Shack for you and you grab a stone axe from inside you swing the axe at the fence to practice and it explodes into pieces you don't want to make your dad mad so you pull the fence block out of your inventory and set it back where it was there no more broken fence you realize that this might actually be fun better than a school day at least you can destroy stuff and build stuff and you're really strong but how strong are you are you strong enough to take on Steve well lucky for you in that inventory there is something that resembles a Bible you turn to the first page and it's called the book of Minecraft of Genesis 1 you start reading in the beginning not created a world it was formless and empty and not said let there be light you start skimming and it seems it explains how this guy called not wanted to create a new world it took a bit of time and then say on the sixth day not created a man who he called Steve you continue reading the next chapter being called the book of Steve and learned that this Steve guy the kind of first iteration of the man is 1.8 blocks high in 0.6 blocks wide but he changes form a bit when doing certain moves you don't exactly know what he looks like but the book explains that he's got dark brown hair darkish skin a crude looking nose and mouth much like your own he's also got blue eyes and he likes to wear a light blue shirt some blue jeans and a gray pair of shoes it's also written that Steve is really curious he likes adventure he likes to try new things if he saw an apple on a tree he'd probably pick it off and eat it Steve can be tempted and you make a mental note of that right so you know what to look for and how he goes about things but how strong is this Steve dude you trying to figure that out he's rather large in size when you measure him against the blocks the world is made up if each block is a meter high then Steve would be 1.8 meters high and 1 meter wide that's pretty broad his cubic volume is 320 mm 273 cubic centimeters far bigger than the average adult human male who might be about 62,000 cubic centimeters that means Steve would likely weigh something like 700 54 pounds or 352 kilos arma and steve is a heavyweight but the good news is so are you some people have called him morbidly obese but we think he's really just dense in a good way after all he builds and breaks stuff all day every day this guy must be super fit he's a doer not someone who sits around on the sofa all day watching home improvement shows on TV he's already the quintessential home improver a DIY master of masters reading the book of Steve you learned that he's incredibly strong he can carry something like 12 million tons of gold which you can hardly believe he can punch through a cubic meter of solid diamond and turn it into dust think about this if you remember rocky for the Russian boxer Ivan Drago could register a 2150 pounds per square inch punch that was enough to almost knock Rocky's head right off the non-fictional boxer and a recently retired former heavyweight champ Vladimir Klitschko had a punch measured at 1100 psi that's a far cry from Ivan Drago but let's still say that anything over 1,000 psi is a huge punch now if we try to calculate how hard Steve would need to punch to turn a block of diamonds into dust you get a figure around 30 2.6 million psi a truly superhuman number he also walks extremely fast at 9.6 miles per hour that's much faster than a human power walker less impressive is his run speed of 12.5 miles per hour so he's no saint Bolt whose top speed is twenty-seven point eight miles per hour maybe that's dude all the weight he's carrying around you're feeling tired and hungry just reading this but you read on you guess you have the same strength but do you have the same weakness it's just you and Steve in a fight to the death you know that you're in some kind of survival mode and that one of you can die you have health but it's limited just like in the normal world you learn that you and Steve can both die and you also learn a few of the ways that it might happen you both could kick the bucket after falling or being burnt or drowning or suffocating or being blown up or being murdered a lot of the same ways a normal human could be killed it also seems like you can't just go hoping that Steve has an accident with you setting it up if you're gonna beat Steve then you know you've got to commit the ultimate sin murder you get the feeling Steve is still pretty far away so you go into your inventory and start getting tools you see what's you're capable of and speaking of rocky it's a bit like one of those training montages in the movies right before the big fight unfortunately there are no chickens to catch or cow carcasses to punch but there are plenty of steps to run up so you're fully fit and fight brandy and you decide that you're gonna build some traps you go into your house where you know Steve will come to find you and you turn it into a house of horror full of traps in places where Steve can get hurt if he walks through your front door he will get a nasty hit on the head because you've planted an iron weight on top of that door with a switch on the floor so that when someone walks through it it will be triggered and the weight will fall on them if he survives that he will no doubt continue to walk forward and you've constructed another trap for him where when he walks on a certain block arrows fire at him he might manage to jump out of the way but it's worth a shot Steve of course is going to be very angry at this point but you're watching from far away and are quite safe but what if Steve is too smart to fall for this and he knows you've likely booby-trapped the house because he would have done the exact same thing still he needs to find him he's also hungry and he sees a large box with a sign next to it reading delicious food which is of course not filled with food but is instead an explosive box trap you've made remember above all Steve is curious about trying things and so he can be tempted hmm will Steve be so hungry he can't help himself from going inside to see if there's food if he does the box will close around him and it will blow up that's Steve blown to pieces but what if Steve while curious is not quite so dumb that he'd fall for this maybe Steve is actually quite creative and intelligent and like you enjoys reading how do we take advantage of that in one of your new houses you've built while waiting for him you also have created a bookshelf and there you have left some books that will tell Steve how to kill his world's new impostor next to the bookshelf is a pool of delicious clear blue water continually refilled by a stream that runs under the home as Steve reads the book of you he can't help but drink the icy cool refreshing water soon enough nature will take its course and he'll have to make his way to the restroom after finishing his business he sees a sign that reads push to flush next to a button on the floor Steve may be a murderer but he still applied guests and he pushes the button releasing a trapdoor that drops him down down down into the darkness below unfortunately your trap worked but not perfectly he doesn't land in the lava pit like he planned but instead falls into a dark cavern below the house thankfully for him he thinks there are tracks with a cart and he senses you are somewhere at the end of it Steve being unable to resist a well built cart track gets in and the cart sets off winding through the caves he crests a hill and sees you at the end of the track a murderous look on his pixelated face as he gets nearer and nearer when suddenly a clicking sound you've pressed the switch which changes the track he veers off away from you down a path where the track ends and falls into a dark hole filled with TNT bang the TNT goes off it doesn't take Steve out instantly but the hole left from the massive explosions goes deep down into the earth with only a pool of lava at the bottom steve falls down into the hot magma and there's nowhere for him to go he hops and runs but the sheer walls don't give him anywhere to go and his last heart ticks away from the fire damage you've done it you've stopped Steve of course this is far from the only way to stop him but the general theory on how to take him out remains the same use his own inability to resist exploration and trying new things against him trick him into locking himself in a room filled with water or pressing a button that drops tons of blocks on him or lead him into a room filled with creepers with a little creativity you'll have no trouble taking Steve out and you might even have some fun doing it and after all isn't that what minecraft is really all about there's a wonderful new neighbor that just moved in down the block a middle-aged man who seems to always have a polite word to say to everyone as you come across his path his front lawn is always perfectly manicured and his small home seems to always be kept in impeccable order he's charming and can hold a conversation on a variety of topics and it's clear he's extremely intelligent then one night he invites you over to dinner yeah just you in fact he's insistent on this strangely though he doesn't bother to ask you what your appetite is like or what you like or dislike to eat actually he doesn't even mention the menu at all as you enter his home he quickly locks the door behind you and ushers you into his very chic dining room even offers to pour you a nice glass of Chianti right about then is when it slowly starts to dawn on you why your kindly new neighbor mr. Lecter was it never bothered to mention the menu because it's you that's on the menu so you've been taken hostage by a super-intelligent mass-murdering cannibalistic serial killer that's hell-bent on making you his main course how in the world are you going to get out of this one as usual in order to defeat your enemy you must understand your enemy Hannibal Lecter was born on January twentieth 1933 in an ancient castle in Lithuania the name of the town being one that we didn't feel like torturing our narrator with trying to pronounce thanks guys born into a wealthy order of Lithuanian aristocrats Lecter comes from a long line of distinguished European royalty and very clearly carries the nobility of his birth in the way he speaks and moves it's rumor that Lecter was also related to a ruthless 12th century man known as Giuliano Bevis sanguine who was himself a descendant of the infamous Machiavelli line and whose name literally means blood drinker the elector furiously pursued research in any possible links to mr. blood drinker he was unable to confirm the heritage and we can't blame him because if we could claim a familial relationship to someone named blood drinker we would legally change our name immediately extremely gifted child Lecter was beloved by his father who invested greatly into his education teaching him English and German along with his native Lithuanian when he was six years old his mother gave birth to his sister Mishka and the to very quickly cemented a strong bond unfortunately Lecter's childhood bliss would be shattered when on July 23rd 1941 the Nazis over and his family Castle as part of Operation Barbarossa the Nazi plan to have the Soviets destroy them completely Lecter was forced to flee into a lodge in the forest where his father was forced to live off the land feeding on wild geese caught by his father whom then taught Lecter to hunt in hindsight that might have been a bad idea but identifying cannibalistic serial killing tendencies in young children is notoriously difficult to do one day though a Soviet tank stopped by the lodge in the crew demanded water suddenly a German Stuka fighter bomber struck the tank blowing it up and killing Lecter's entire family except for himself and his little sister then a few days later a group of Lithuanians who had joined the Nazis stumbled upon the lodge and health Lecter and his sister captive when food ran out and the winter seemed like it would refuse to let up the group killed an aide Mishka which scarred young hannibal lecter for life later he would say that this destroyed his faith in God and that he no longer believed there was any real justice in the world when the captors left the lodge Lecter was left to wander the forest alone with a shackle around his neck that shackle would end up scarring him for life the skin around his neck rubbing raw and never truly healing eventually a group of Soviet tankers found Lecter and brought him back to his family's castle which had been turned into an orphanage and their Lecter stayed until he was adopted by his aunt falling in love with his aunt elector would commit his first murder when a local butcher insulted her and Lecter stabbed him to death then sliced off his cheeks and ate them his first act of cannibalism though the Lithuanian men who had eaten his sister claimed that he had also partaken in the feast so the point is a bit murky what is extremely clear though is that from his first murder Lecter would grow up to become a prodigal murderer in Hannibal until his capture in 1975 though the court would find him insane it ultimately spared him the death penalty and he was instead sent to the Baltimore State Hospital for the criminally insane to serve out nine consecutive life terms he would eventually escape even his custom-made high-security cell which he earned after ripping out a nurse's eye dislocating her jaw and fighting off and eating her tongue first escaped Lecter would top his previous brutality though by severely wounding a police officer and then skinning his face off and wearing it as a mask as he fled to safety physically speaking Hannibal Lecter is on the wrong side of middle-age but is by no means a weak old man his sheer brutality is enough to see him rip people's tongues off with his teeth and that kind of raw violence and the willingness to commit it is a strength all its own the fact that such animal savagery is backed up by one of society's keenest intellects is all the more terrifying so just how in the world are you going to defeat him first forget about trying to outsmart Lecter we don't care how clever you think you are in the comment section or how sick your burns are Lecter is on a totally different level and will out thank you three ways from Friday in fact trying to outwit Lecter has often been his victims greatest mistakes that and falling for another of lectors unique talents hiding his violent predisposition under the guise of civility we've all seen the movie where the victim realizes that the next door neighbor is the serial killer which means you the audience knows he's the killer and the victim knows he's the killer and the killer knows he's the killer and that the victim knows he's the killer and yet in every single movie the killer will politely invite the victim into a situation that places them in danger and the victim agrees why because of the social contract we all buy into that forces us to maintain the illusion of polite civility even when we're about to have our face eaten by a cannibal Lecter is a pro at using this unwitting social contract to lure his victims to their own demise and you can bet that even as you're realizing that this wonderful new neighbor is going to eat your most delicate bits and pieces he's still going to try to use this social pressure to lower your defenses and seal your doom instead we're gonna take a page out of lecktor's own book and tap into the more wild side of mankind it said that civilization is nothing more than a thin veneer over the true savage nature of man and then it takes very little to pull that veneer back and unleash the animal with men many sociologists fear what would happen to modern civilization should our daily conveniences fail and mass one day and stay down for a prolonged period of time how long would civilization stay well civil if the power went out for a week for a month for a year how about fresh water pumped it directly into your tap how long would the average person stay polite and conscientious of the law as resources run out our personal guess is that would be a matter of days and the events like the aftermath of Hurricane Katrina in August of 2005 bear witness to how quickly even our mightiest cities can fall into chaos and lawlessness so to win this fight you're gonna have to get to Katrina levels of uncivilized behavior you're gonna have to make yourself an animal pretend Pub jeez servers were down for an entire day or that YouTube was failing to post your brilliant comeback on every single comment section fight you've gotten into get into touch with what it would feel like to have the conveniences and indulgences of modern life stripped away let that raids build and push you over the edge to beat Lecter you're gonna have to get brutal like gouge your eyes and rip your tongues out and eat them level of brutal sheer animal ferocity is going to win you this fight because you can't outthink Lecter and you can't outmaneuver him sure you think you could get up off the table and run away maybe find a weapon to arm yourself with but you're inside his house that he invited you into don't you think he's planned every possible scenario out already you're sitting in a big fat trap and now its jaws are closing around you and in minutes Lecter is going to be grilling you up and storing the leftovers in Tupperware but you can take advantage of Lecter's hubris because the last thing he would expect is that you would be willing to forego our polite social contract and jump straight into an animalistic frenzy see Lecter doesn't just believe he's smarter than you he believes he's more savage than you so you need to prove him wrong leap up onto that table and howl at the moon grab the nearest sharp object and commit yourself to a fight to the death then when you survive your death match you'll have plenty of time to get back in touch with your humanity from inside prison because you did initiate the attack after all and good luck convincing a jury that the kindly charismatic dr. Lecter was actually going to eat you though often love together deaf people and mute people are two separate types of people and just because one is deaf does not mean that they are mute caused by illness injury or medical mistake munis can rob someone of their primary method of communicating with the world but have you ever wondered what it would be like to never use your voice again hello and welcome to another special challenge episode of the infographic show today we're going to be once more using your favorite and our least important guinea pig we mean staff writer to find out what life is like if you don't speak for a week day one Wow when I started doing all these challenge episodes for infographics I thought it'd be kind of fun something that takes you out of your comfort zone and maybe pushes your boundaries of this all while getting paid for it sounded like a win-win for someone adventurous like me then I started actually doing the challenges nowhere for a month okay that's easy enough don't leave the house for a month um okay not so easy sleep all night did stay up all day for a month alright getting rougher eat all your food through a straw for a week now it's getting painful my point is that when I started these I tried to think of all the zany things I might end up doing and not once did I think about not speaking for an entire week I can only be grateful that the devil's that the infographics show secretly worships and feeds a steady diet of human misery my misery didn't decide to make this a month-long challenge as well so I get to experience what life is like for someone who cannot speak for a whole week which and I hate this about me I'm kind of interested to try already that's despite the fact that I've done this whole schtick long enough to know that it's going to get difficult and then it's going to be painful in some way or another this time at least it's pretty obvious how in the world am I going to get through life without speaking for a whole week luckily we are living in the digital age and as I sat down to plan out the scope of this challenge I realized that I might actually be able to breeze through without uttering a single word instead of calling someone on the phone I can text instead of going to the grocery store I can have groceries or food delivered to meet via an app and never once have to talk to anyone the real problem is going to be dealing with the girlfriend since as most of you know by now we live together that in any unexpected social planets which I'm insisting that we don't change at all because the challenge is only fair if I get a real taste of what this lifestyle is like so if any experts or things pop up I'll be attending as a complete mute and that will take some serious planning I'll update once every two days or so to fill you in on my week of silence right now it's 7:00 a.m. on Monday and my last official words for a week were really bad dad joke that I told the girlfriend that she was leaving for work did you hear about the restaurant on the moon great food but no atmosphere I love dad jokes I just realized though that if something tragic and sudden were to happen to me a dad joke might be the last thing anyone ever heard me say I'm kind of okay with that day three life is certainly interesting when you're not allowed to speak it's weird how quiet the house gets during the day without me speaking I typically work from home if I'm not out on my gig as a photographer and I had the house to myself with the dog until late at night when the girlfriend gets back I never realized how much I talk to myself out loud went home alone though until suddenly I couldn't talk anymore I guess we all talked to ourselves sometimes but it became pretty obvious these last two days that I probably do it more than the average person because the house just feels so eerily silent now it's kind of been creeping me out to be honest so now the compensate that play the TV extra loud you know that irrational feeling that a serial killer is lurking in your quiet house I get that feeling all the time now I tried to do my plan of having groceries delivered to me so I'd avoid the hassle of trying to play mute in public but then I saw what the delivery fees for someone to bring me groceries from literally right across the street and I flat-out refused to do it it's not that I'm cheap it's just preposterous I'm paying almost five dollars extra for what is literally a three minute walk for me also I realized that I would look like the laziest human being alive to the delivery driver if I seriously had to drive from wherever in town they were just to bring me groceries from across the street that's a problem I did think of a solution for though I could pull out my crutches from when I was injured a long time ago and pretended I couldn't walk but ultimately I just couldn't stomach paying five dollars for a three minute walk so my first foray into the real world without speaking was mostly uneventful I typically wear headphones and blast my music anyways when I go out of a house because I'm not really a people person and it's the perfect way to ignore it girl scout sir anyone with the clipboard who wants your support for a million different causes once I got stopped by a lady who said she was signing a petition for improved mental health care for kids in public school I told her I hated kids with mental health and she never bothered me again for the rest of the week that she was in front of our grocery store the girlfriend was with me and she was so embarrassed that she punched me hard in the arm and I told her I was joking but while she wasn't looking I gave the petition lady the craziest look I could and it worked by myself one week of peace once I did the same with Girl Scouts just kneeled down and started explaining how she was being exploited for her labor by the cookie maker and only receiving a tiny fraction of the value of her labor in return and even that was in the form of funds for her troop to go camping or something while the cookie company kept in most of the monetary profits one of the adults quickly pulled the little girl away from me and i didn't get bothered again for the rest of the month that they were there anyways the trip went off without a hitch until i got to the register and the girl tried to make conversation see I go to this grocery store all the time for seven years now so everyone there knows me I couldn't just blow the cashier off so instead I pointed at my throat and pretended to be sick luckily she bought it but it made me realize something see my plan had just been to pretend to be mute but suddenly I feel really uncomfortable just pretending to be mute and having people believe that I have a real disability it feels like a terrible thing to do when there's thousands of real people out there who were unable to speak I guess I'll stick with the sick story for now but I doubt it'll hold in a serious social engagement the other thing to report is that the girlfriend has been texting me a lot she won't admit but I think she's secretly really misses talking to me so she's overcompensating with text it's kind of sweet and thinking about it suddenly made me feel kind of sad day five well this challenge has been a lot easier than I thought it would be mostly because I work from home and my writing work requires very little actual voice communication with clients however last night the heat got turned up to 11 the girlfriend's work and his social mixer type event typically I hate these things but from time to time the girlfriend will drag me to OneNote and I tend to spend the time at the open bar doing my best to really push the generosity of the free drinks especially the gin and tonics we decided that my cover story would be that I was really ill my voice was practically gone and it was painful from to speak girlfriend made something up about malaria gitis or something she knows just enough about medicine to make it believable as we were on our way I wasn't happy at first until I realized that now I had the perfect excuse not to speak to anyone at this event and that suddenly made me really happy until the girlfriend told me she wasn't going to let me spend the entire night at the open bar people need to see your face more at these things it's good to network she said if people want to see more of me they can always right click to save my facebook profile pic then they can see me anytime they like to say that the girlfriend took full advantage of the fact that I couldn't refute anything she or anyone else said would be an understatement she committed us to at least a dozen little dinner dates with other couples which I hate with all my heart and she committed us to a game night with a bunch of people I don't know I love board games but I hate playing them with a bunch of strangers once I played cards against humanity' with a group of total strangers and let's just say that night ended with someone crying after I played a dead parent smell like car apparently her parents had just died a week or two earlier and everyone but me the stranger knew I don't know when the girlfriend discovered that she had the power to commit me to all sorts of things I would never ever do but I suspect that she's been planning it from the get-go because she is in fact a sadistic and evil genius to say I was annoyed would be an understatement day 7 I can finally speak again holy crap I have seriously missed the sound of my own voice the first time I talked my vocal cord squeaks from disuse but thankfully I was by myself when it happened this challenge has been difficult to say the least and not just because of not being able to talk but because of fighting the urge to speak in the first place we take talking for granted it becomes really obvious when you stop talking just how much we use our voice for communication yes even in our digitally connected world I know what you're all thinking though what happened at game nut well it was predictably terrible for one and I'm not sure if not talking made it worse or not we played risk which doesn't really require any docking so that's great except I get really competitive with board games like really competitive see there's an unspoken social contract you enter into when you do a fun board game night with your girlfriend's friends and coworkers you played to have fun not to win and you are nice to people who are terrible at the game and make sure that they're included and get to play and have fun I don't play to have fun I play to win I was Napoleon slashing my way across Europe and Asia making and breaking alliances as it suited me the game was over in 30 minutes which I feel is some kind of record and all without me saying a word just writing messages out on a notepad the great thing about people believing that you are really ill and can't speak though is that nobody tries to so no awkward forced conversations with a bunch of strangers that was a big plus for me and something I could get used to I've spent the week communicating via post-it notes or text messages and my final report is that it's really really lonely not having a conversation with someone sure a modern life might make it really easy to not use your voice to talk but it also Rob's your conversations of depth and meaning they don't flow the way they would if you could speak and I think the event that something up best for me was when me and the girlfriend were driving home last night she got really sad and said that she really missed me this week and I knew what she was saying not being able to have conversations with me really made her miss me then she told me that she'd been thinking about the same thing I had thought about on day one after I spoke the last thing I've said to her all week she said what if something really sudden and tragic happened and the last thing I ever heard from you was one of your stupid bad jokes I can tell she was really sad so I grabbed her phone and pulled up her voice memos and showed her that before the week it started I recorded and I loved you on her phone not speaking may be a great way to get you out of really boring and dreadful social events that you don't want to attend or at least get you out of having to talk to anyone at those events but it really boxes your life in you don't realize how free you are to express yourself with your voice until it's no longer there and conversations without it are slow frustrating and really shallow I have a newfound appreciation for the struggles of mute people or even deaf people who have difficulty speaking with people and making themselves understood hello infographics fans and welcome to another special challenge episode of the infographics show today we're taking on the obesity issue while global stereotypes like to paint Americans as a bunch of fatties in actuality obesity figures from around the war show that weight gain is a problem in most modern nations the reasoning is pretty simple a modern economy brings modern jobs modern conveniences and modern not so healthy food modern jobs means mostly blue-collar work for most people which includes a lot of sitting around in the office not getting much exercise and when coupled with the modern conveniences of video games on-demand video and a billion cable channels coupled with modern fast food or delivery right to your doorstep this all spells disaster for expanding waste lines around the world but what about soda what role does it have in this modern weight epidemic let's find out today as we challenge your favorite guinea pig and our least important staff writer to drink only soda for a whole month for science day one drink only soda for an entire month this one didn't go over well with the girlfriend at all like most Los Angeles actresses she's a total health and fitness nut and like most Los Angeles actress boyfriends I have to partake in at least 50% of that nuttiness I mean I'm generally active in in decent shape anyways but I'm not a total health freak and I don't even know what kale tastes like but I'm willing to bet it's terrible so it is as far as I'm aware not even allowed in our refrigerator and even though I actually like drinking coke I tend to just order it at restaurants luckily the girlfriend is in a total fourth reich health Nazi and she doesn't really mind but when I told her I could only drink soda for an entire month she got this very weird dead look in her eyes then she very slowly narrowed them at me but didn't say a word it was terrifying she just sort of left for work without saying anything and then text me from the car saying your job is stupid so as usual I did my initial research and it turns out drinking soda is pretty god-awful for you so it's hard to blame her response it destroys the enamel of your teeth which makes it easier for your teeth to rot it raises then crashes your blood pressure can lead to diabetes and of course it's pretty much guaranteed to make you gain weight apparently every 3500 calories extra you consume per week can lead to 1 pound of weight gain and calories definitely add up fast I did some math and looked up the calories on average I eat per week thanks to California's laws figuring out total calories of everything you eat is actually pretty easy turns I'm taking in an average about 2,500 a day mostly because of weekend meals during the weekdays I typically cook something pretty healthy for me and the girlfriend but on weekends we cheat by eating out we both exercise though and my weight is pretty stable so I'm guessing that the amount of exercise totals out with the average of 2,500 calories a day but that is of course without drinking much soda at all maybe two a week from eating out now I'm gonna have to drink only soda not even any water so that's for sure going to skyrocket my calories they say you're supposed to drink about 8 12 ounce glasses of water a day to stay healthy but that figure doesn't account for all the water you actually get from your food so a more realistic estimate is more like five glasses of water a day assuming I did the soda equivalent to that it would be 140 calories times 5 for an extra 700 calories per day or 4900 per week yikes that's well over the 3,500 needed for a pound of fat of course that's just calories though which isn't the full picture because each soda I plan on drinking cokes by the way includes a whopping 39 grams of sugar or 78 percent of your daily allotment that's going to majorly increase my weight gain potential not to mention pave a pretty strong foundation for diabetes I could just go with say Coke Zero which is supposedly healthier but a it tastes like donkey sweat and B it seems more fair to go for the real stuff so as usual I'll update once a week and try to keep a total tally of how many sodas I drink per week along with the total amount of calories I'm consuming and any weight gain affects day one weight is 163 pounds it's felt sexy and with just a little bit of love handles zooming I'm not the actor in the house and I don't need to set unrealistic physical expectations in front of the camera all the time love handles is what peak performance looks like people deal with it anyways here we go see you in a week day 7 the refrigerator is stacked with bread cans of coke all gleaming and shiny and frosty cold I gotta admit it's kind of beautiful in a way I cannot stress how much the girlfriend really really hates this challenge just for laughs I built a coke fortress around her vegetables but apparently I was the only person who thought that was funny drinking only soda is weird I catch myself going for some water out of thirst and have to remind myself nope get coke instead I could cheat but integrity is pretty important to me now I actually really like coke so this challenge didn't seem all that bad but I gotta admit that I'm getting a bit tired of the flavor I bought lemon juice two squirting each can in order to zing the taste up a bit and it worked pretty well but I think I'll try limes next just to keep the flavor from getting boring maybe I'll even switch to Pepsi but if Coke Zero tastes like donkey sweat Pepsi tastes like a donkey drinking the sweat of another donkey and then sweating the sweat out itself this week I've drunk thirty six hundred forty calories worth of coke which is just a bit more than three cokes a day I find that I'm not drinking as much coke as I would water I think I'm just naturally avoiding drinking as much coke as possible my weight sticked out from 163 pounds to 165 not bad and well within the natural pound or two fluctuation I'll see how this next week pans out day fourteen this week I drank four thousand sixty calories worth of coke definitely a bit more than last week the aluminum recycling is really stacking up by the way did you know aluminium is one of the few things worth recycling look it up anyways my weight shot up to 168 which is definitely not an accident it's pretty obvious soda is having a serious effect on my weight gain surprisingly I'm not getting all that sick of the taste though I mean I do have to use lemon or lime occasionally but it's still okay to me then again I did use to eat pretty terrible MREs for months at a time in the military so I think my palettes become pretty easy to please on the home front I cannot stress just how unhappy the girlfriend is with this challenge she pinched a love handle yesterday when I got out of the shower and she just flatly said they're getting bigger gross she's also been sending me emails from work about the terrible health effects of soda and planning a crash diet for as soon as this month is up I think every time she gets a break from filming she's firing off a new email to warn me that I'm basically going to die because of this too bad for her she's not my insurance beneficiary too bad for everyone that I don't have one crap I should get that sorted day 21 so one of the effects of soda is sugar high followed by sugar crash this is because soda is floods your circulatory system with a bunch of sugar that your body isn't ready for in the wild coming across a huge amount of sugar it's basically not an issue our biology ever had deal with so now when you flood your body with concentrated sugar your body freaks out it immediately over produces hormones to lower your blood sugar because it thinks that you're literally about to die which makes your blood sugar levels drop to below normal levels hence the crash turns out if you drink nothing but soda all the time your body thinks it's under sugar attack all the time and those crashes get really really bad I think I'm taking more naps each day now than I've ever taken before and typically I'm off to nap every four to five hours luckily I have the house to myself during the day so it's not a big deal but it's cutting into my productivity big time I also kind of feel like my heart might explode or my arteries one or the other I guess this is my blood pressure spiking and I'm realizing now that I should have bought one of those blood pressure monitors if I even had any idea of how to use it my breath is also worse I guess that's the sugar feeding all the hungry little bacteria in your mouth and I'm having to brush my teeth a few times each day although to be honest I already was because I don't even want to think about the plaque Holocaust this soda is putting my teeth through turns out one of the side effects of drinking nothing but soda for a month is a very grumpy girlfriend I know she hates it because she's concerned for my health which is actually kind of sweet she's already meal plan to crash diet to detox me from all this soda I remind her that detoxing not a real thing and only a trendy term that West Hollywood hipsters used to sell you overpriced health nonsense and she took my soda out of my hand put her finger over the hole shook it up and I'm not kidding about this sprayed me with it then cool as a fresh all organic cucumber she just turned around and walked away I think the soda experiment has literally broken my health nut girlfriend anyway this week I drank 4,200 calories and my weight jumped up to 170 which is alarming I realized it's not just the soda though because it makes me so tired I haven't been exercising nearly as much and have been skipping entire days so all the calories from everything else I eat is adding up thankfully there's only one week left day 30 I am NOT sad at all that this challenge is over drinking soda for a month straight sounds pretty alright at first then it gets kind of met and then very quickly becomes a bit of a nightmare I don't think we appreciate just how much non soda we drink even heavy soda drinkers sure you might down a few sodas a day but imagine drinking nothing and I mean nothing but soda for a month straight wake up in the middle of the night thirsty soda eat something dry and need to wash it down soda and by the way washing food down with soda is pretty terrible thirsty after working out soda or at least try working out because I've definitely noticed that I can't go as long or hard as I could a month ago I don't know if it's the psychological weight of knowing that I'm basically destroying my body with all the sugar or if it's actually making me sluggish but I can't exercise as hard as I used to strength is basically fine but anything that requires endurance forget about it I'm getting winded just thinking about hitting the track tomorrow my first date back to normal my weight is still at 173 pounds which means that in one month I've gained 10 pounds and that's while still mostly exercising I can't imagine what my weight would be if I had drinking nothing but soda and not exercise but I honestly think I could have gained easily twice as many pounds the constant soda makes me feel pretty terrible I literally feel sometimes like my heart is going to beat out of my chest and I swear my blood has become the consistency of syrup during the course of this challenge I've drank approximately sixteen thousand eight hundred calories worth of soda or one entire week's worth of normal caloric intake and I know I've been pacing myself typically drinking three to four sodas a day the girlfriend couldn't be happier that this whole thing is over and she's promised me a crash diet of uber healthy pre-made meals that she's created herself until my weight gets back to normal Challenge over summary drinking nothing but soda for a month is pretty terrible for your body kills your energy makes you gain a bunch of weight and really really irritate your girlfriend for the last year we've been torturing we mean exploring the secrets of science using your favorite and our most expendable writer in a quest to answer some of the most pressing questions of our age questions such as what would happen if you didn't shower for a month what if you couldn't use your own bathroom for a week what's it like to be homeless for 72 hours well the entire time we've been listening to you the fans and now we're presenting a very special challenge episode as we've convinced your favorite guinea pig's girlfriend to join in on the fun stay tuned as we present our newest challenge chained to my boyfriend for 72 hours hello I am the girlfriend for almost a year now I've been forced to stand by and often be the innocent bystander in one silly unhygenic or outright dangerous challenge after another then out of the blue he tells me that the infographics show would like to know if I would be interested in taking on a challenge myself well here I am and if you told me a year ago I would be doing this I would have called you an idiot right after calling him an idiot first for doing this idiot job in the first place I have had to sit by and watch him try to eat the world's hottest pepper which was really something considering his opinion of spicy is to add extra salt to a dish I painted his face up as he had to wear makeup for several days straight and okay that one was kind of funny but I also had to sit home alone scared out of my mind as he went homeless for three days straight in downtown Los Angeles well he refused to use his cell phone to let me know he was okay I told him a long time ago that he is an idiot with an idiot job but you know what I saw that he genuinely kind of liked these challenges he's always liked to push himself it is one of the things I love about him and while I often wish that he would take one of the many comfortable easy writing jobs that have come across his path even when he's miserable because he can't use the bathroom at home for a week straight it kind of makes him happy to do these silly idiotic things and when you really genuinely love someone there idiot things kind of become your idiot things and for better or worse I love my idiot more than anything in the world and so here I am I am always really supportive of this career and I try my best to drag him typically under threats of violence to networking events he hates so that he can expand his horizons and rub shoulders with influential people who can see how talented he is but while I love to watch some of the other videos he writes for the infographic show that's right he does regular vids try and guess which ones are his because they're typically funny and sarcastically I never paid any attention to these challenges he undertakes probably because most of the time I'm the unwitting victim who has to spend her day-to-day life with him doing something dumb like not telling a lie for a week and getting into ideological debates with Girl Scouts over-exploitation outside of grocery stores yeah thanks to that episode there are still people we can no longer socialize with and stores I haven't visited in months but then he showed me that people were really getting into these episodes and the crazy things heated and well he got sent to Hawaii for a week all because you guys kept asking for it then not long after that the show asked me to get into it and I guess I thought to myself that if I really loved my boyfriend then I kind of owed him this one experiencing what it is like to be him so now I am chained up to my idiot boyfriend for three days as I am writing this he is sitting next to me with the same big stupid grin on his face he always gets when he's about to do one of the more reckless and/or dumb challenges the premise is simple enough I guess we are handcuffed together at the wrist with a 3-foot piece of chain because trying to do this with regular handcuffs would have been impossible the chain should make things a little easier I guess and my real concern was private bathroom time the chain is just long enough that he can sit outside the door when it's closed because while we may have been living together for a long time there are some secrets best kept well secret I'll follow his format and update at the end of each day so I suppose that this is me signing off until tonight end of day one we have lived together for half a decade now so we are well past the fairytale stage and have gotten into the nitty-gritty of living with another person that means farts are a normal part of life for us but I had no idea just how many farts he has throughout the day I thought at best he had maybe four or five - I'm around four and two or three more he let off when I'm not around I was very wrong I lost track at around 10 and can someone in the audience please explain to me why men find every single fart as funny as the one before it okay before he marinated me in a cloud of farts we started our day as usual luckily my show is on hiatus for a week so I don't have to work but I still have to stay in shape so that means a 6:00 a.m. run most of the time he joins me anyways even if half of my morning workout is physically dragging him out of bed to do it but now chained up to me he has no choice I know he hates running but it is really good for him and despite how big of an idiot he is I want him to live as long as possible so I make him do it he is a lot slower than me though so trying to keep pace with the chain was very annoying and difficult let alone doing stretches or any sort of exercise after I felt really embarrassed in public attached to him with a chain even though there were only a few people around this early in the morning and I guess I sort of understand a little bit of what he does and how difficult it can be we did not have much planned for today and honestly I felt really embarrassed about the chain so we did not do much today mostly just hung around the house and watch terrible 80's and 90's movies together anything with Van Damme or Steven Seagal in it he always loved watching these movies and I have to admit it really grew on me too and now I'm a huge fan of anything super cheesy honestly I knew the first time we spent an entire day home alone doing nothing but watching terrible movies together that he was it the one and I have been right ever since for any ladies watching at home you know you found the one when you can spend all day doing your version of nothing together and loving it today was the first bathroom test and while he was totally fine with it which should surprised nobody I was kind of really embarrassed even with him on the other side of the mostly closed door he told me not to worry and so he put on his earbuds and blasted some spice girls and started singing it at the top of his lungs to convince me he couldn't hear anything I told you he is an idiot but I have to admit it it was really sweet in his own dumb way well that is all for today I will talk to you guys tomorrow end of day 2 we needed to go grocery shopping today so staying inside was not an option I suggested we just order food in but he told me that the spirit of the challenge was to let people see what it would be like to live a normal life and not going to the grocery store would be cheating do people see what I mean about him yet he takes on these dumb challenges with so much conviction we got a lot of looks at the grocery store and yeah it was definitely embarrassing I wish the weather was cold because then we could have worn long jackets and hitting most of the chain it is currently in the high 90s here in Los Angeles though so no such luck other than the looks and stares for one second my often absent-minded boyfriend completely forgot we were chained together and realized he was missing his favorite cereal so he took off into another aisle luckily I was hanging on to the loaded shopping cart but that means that he got jerked backwards and almost busted his head on the floor if people were staring before now they were outright gawking and I'm about ready to add this store to the growing list of places I can no longer shop when we got to the checkout counter my worst fear came true though one of our mutual acquaintances was there along with his girlfriend immediately they asked about the chain and the last thing I wanted to do was tell them I was part of some internet challenge and suddenly my boyfriend pipes up and starts making up a nonsense story about this being part of some trendy new relationship aid honestly I have always admired his creativity and I know that he is really talented but he wove an incredible masterful tale of BS that those two swallowed hook line and sinker I know he very openly hates the hipster arts snobby culture of Los Angeles his words not mine and he would never be caught dead in one of the millions of trendy coffee houses in the city but he is master at pulling these people's strings he had them completely buying a story about this chained together thing being some new form of relationship enhancing exercise and I have to admit it was the perfect self for the more hipsterish new-agey population of LA at the end of the conversation he had convinced them to buy their own chain and try it out for themselves so if being chained together suddenly becomes a national relationship therapy tool you know where it started even the cashier and the other people in the line were buying it and I know that he did it all because even though I am adjusting it is still kind of embarrassing for me to be doing this in public some girls get a knight in shining armor I get a master BS artist convincing people to chain themselves together so I don't feel silly in public I have to admit I prefer the latter back at home we had more bathroom issues which meant he stood in the hallway this time singing Backstreet Boys songs well I did my business privately he forgot we were chained together again in the kitchen though when he got excited and remember he had bought his favorite cereal and wanted to fix himself a bowl I am starting to see a pattern here and somebody should test Smacks to see if they include cocaine and the ingredients end of day three today was the final day of this experiment and I am actually a little conflicted about it ending I am really happy to no longer be chained together but even though it was really extremely incredibly inconvenient and sometimes outright uncomfortable it was also a little bit sweet being forced to be so close to him this whole time we woke up feeling pretty awful yes we left the chain on even at night and that means every time one of us tossed and turned the other got jerked around he has issues from when he was injured in the service though so I know he really tried to be as still as possible but after two nights like this I knew he was really sore and messed up I suggested we get massages and I kind of surprised myself I think after yesterday's grocery store incident I'm not as embarrassed about being in public like this anymore I thought the massage parlor would think we were complete freaks and kick us out but we went to a Vietnamese place and turns out they really did not care at all after the massage he reminded me that today was date night but he offered for us to stay in if I wanted to I reminded him that the rules of the challenge were that we still had to live our normal lives to get the full experience and I can tell it really made him kind of happy that I was getting into this as well we went out to her restaurant and even though the place was crowded you know I kind of really started not caring anymore in fact it was kind of fun to be doing this together even if we were getting all sorts of stares and had to sit on the same side of the table we went to the movie theater after and everything was great until I suddenly told him that I had to pee really really bad right before the movie started his eyes went wide with horror and I saw him slowly mouth out the word no and I really hate that I was a total girl about it but yeah I really had to pee really bad impossible to hold in we went to the bathroom hoping that because the movie was about to start it would be relatively empty but it just so happens that another movie had just let out and this happens to be one of the biggest theaters in the city so there were people going in and out constantly I had hoped we could sneak in real quick and shove him into a stall with me but there was no way that was happening I told him that we could just hurry home and I would just hold it then he did something I can only describe as typical him he said know you've been wanting to watch this movie so you are going to see it then he took off his shirt tied it around his head so it blocked his eyes and dragged me into the women's bathroom then he stood there at the entrance and loudly said ladies I am so sorry but I am handcuffed to my girlfriend and we don't have the key and she really has to pee I promise you I can't see anything the entire bathroom went dead silent then several girls started to laugh some even applauded then well I did my business with him shoved up against the door to a dirty stall as he loudly hummed a Spice Girls tune to himself my boyfriend is an idiot but sharing this experience with him has made me realize how much I love him like I said in yesterday's entry some people get a knight in shining armor but I got a guy that convinces people to handcuff themselves together so I'm not embarrassed in public and one who marches into a woman's bathroom with his shirt tied around his head as a blindfold so that I can pee and enjoy a movie all things considered I will gladly put up with more of these ridiculous challenges and choose my idiot over any knight in shining armor just do not expect me to do many more of these challenges I think one weekend chained together was enough for me here's the imaginary scenario for some reason or another you decided to visit Gotham City let's say you're there on business you check the calendar on your phone to see that you have an appointment scheduled to meet with mr. Bruce Wayne you're walking along searching for the address of Wayne Enterprises when you suddenly realize you're lost the GPS on your phone has stopped working and you're stumped about where to go not wanting to keep mr. Wayne waiting your head floods with anxiety you try to retrace your steps to locate where you just came from and where you should go next but nothing looks familiar the streets are mostly dark except for a stray lamppost here and there placed on each one is a wanted poster for a criminal clown couple known as the Joker and Harley Quinn though both are equally dangerous Harley Quinn is the main threat to worry about as she's been spotted by the public most recently you turn a corner on the mean streets of Gotham thinking you could take a shortcut somewhere that's when you realize you just stumbled into a dark alley you have a creepy feeling in the pit of your stomach and decide that you need to turn back as you spin on your heels to leave however you see someone blocking your way an ominous girlish figure she looks familiar to you dressed in a red and black clown costume you realize that to your ultimate dismay that she is the same girl you spotted on the wanted posters during your trek over here Harley Quinn wants a victim and she has targeted you so what should you do in this scenario today we're pitting you the average Joe against the crazed clown sidekick of the Joker at first you may be thinking that this will be an easy fight after all Harley Quinn does not have any superpowers worth mentioning unless you count her super insanity in the end she's just a wacky human girl still we'd advise against under estimating her don't get too confident or you'll wind up in a whole heap of trouble you may just end up hearing the words goodnight chump before feeling the sudden blow of an oversized wooden mallet colliding against the side of your skull it's time to brace yourself for the worst that this villain has to offer so that you're prepared let's first get to know your opponent a little better by explaining her backstory as many fans of the Batman animated series know hardly Quinn began as dr. Harleen Francis Quinzel an intern psychiatrist at Gotham City's Arkham Asylum she was an ambitious young professional with an ironic interest in extreme personalities she had studied criminal psychology and was looking for an exciting challenge within her field as a hardcore psychotic that Joker definitely posed as the ideal candidate for her to work with when assigned to act as his inpatient psychiatrist dr. Quinzel spent months in preparation for her first scheduled meeting with them she read up on his antics and thought she had a good grasp of what he was all about ready and eager to take on the challenge she went to her first session with the Joker feeling confident that she had the upper hand and be able to cure him one thing she didn't anticipate however was accidentally falling in love with him throughout their sessions the Joker seemingly confided in Harley confessing his difficult upbringing with an abusive father whether or not his stories of his past are true is highly questionable the Joker has a habit of lying about himself all the time so he was probably just spewing out his usual tales of fiction telling Harley what she wanted to hear as a novice and her profession the Joker had her pegged as someone he could easily manipulate dr. Quinzel fell for it playing right into his hands she allowed her emotions to take over from her professional duty maybe spending too much time with the Joker was what made her lose her grip on reality because her love for him caused her to become equally as insane if not more so and that's the evil genius behind the Joker able to outwit his psychiatrist dr. Quinzel gains sympathy for him and developed a new persona new accent and a new wardrobe she dropped the name of dr. Quinzel and became Harley Quinn The Joker's sidekick assistant and girlfriend she's portrayed as doing this in different ways in the animated series she's released him from Arkham Asylum herself in the 2016 movie Suicide Squad she gave him a machine gun upon his request and he released himself from his captivity before giving Harley electroshock therapy despite being repeatedly abused by the Joker both physically and verbally Harley is depicted in the animated series as continuously pining over him she's obsessed and helplessly locked in a romance that only seems to go one way though some believe the Joker does indeed love her in his own way by keeping her around others think that he's simply too psychotic to be capable of love it's often suggested that he simply uses her for his own game according to the symptoms described in the DSM V and Psychology Today Harley Quinn exemplifies many characteristics of someone with histor onic personality disorder symptoms that classify the disorder include but are not limited to being flirtatious and seductive overly dramatic wanting to be the focal point of attention dressing provocatively excessive emotional presentation suggestible by others and gullible people with the disorder also have a tendency to overestimate the intimacy of their social relationships such as Harley's perceived romance with the Joker she tends to use loving terms of endearment when referring to him calling him mr. J and put him it's almost as if Harley Quinn's character was designed as a stable to fit perfectly in the description for this psychological disorder perhaps this little bit of imperfection and human flaw about her is what makes her character so interesting and popular her story may also be intriguing because we can't help but wonder how anyone could possibly fall in love with someone as creepy looking and frightening as the infamously cruel Joker quick fact the origin of her name Harley Quinn stems from a French clown character known as the Harlequin which may have initially drawn the Joker to manipulate her as a joke in the first place okay so now we know how she became a villain and we've dealt quite a bit into her psychosis what makes her such a worthy adversary well for one she's an expert gymnast having earned a scholarship through her skills and gymnastics to pursue her doctorate in psychiatry her agility sharpens her fighting dexterity so you'd better be quick on your toes in order to take her on in combat she also uses weaponized props such as the aforementioned mallet firearms of baseball bats a boxing glove gun and don't forget about her pet hyenas her mental instability also makes her mostly fearless which is super dangerous think about it this way if you're not inhibited by fear you're better able to focus on inflicting harm on your opponent during a fight so what could you do if you're not physically fast enough to outmaneuver her or you're not as fearless as she is well if you even think about trying to use any poisonous gas to stop her forget about it her friendship with the plant-based villain poison ivy has granted her immunity to various toxins so you're likely to be unsuccessful with that method her training and psychiatry also makes her a talented manipulator much like the Joker if you take her on in a fight be prepared because she just may try to seduce you she's physically designed to be attractive the ideal specimen of feminine beauty with an hourglass figure so her advances may be difficult to resist especially if you have a sexual orientation that's directed towards women beware if she tries anything try your best to remember that she is too obsessed with the Joker to be truly interested in you keep your head in the game and your focus on the fight at hand in the 2017 animated film Batman in Harley Quinn she used her powerful seduction tactic on Nightwing while he was trying to obtain information from her not even he was immune to her charms so now let's say you've mediated for a bit and you're now mentally prepared to resist her advances how can you defeat her in a fight well first off a firearm might help just be mindful that she's a person not a mutant or a monster so we'd advise against killing her if possible after all you won't want to be accused of murder for the sake of being ethical we're assuming that you're fighting strictly in self-defense if you could fire a shot at her leg that would definitely hinder her and stop her from having the physical upper hand but this would be a challenge since she's talented at avoiding bullets her speed and lightness of foot may make it difficult for you to aim properly she can perform back flips and cartwheels that can make your head spin also don't forget that she too possesses a firearm and is perfectly capable of shooting you before you shoot her so what else can you do well because we're assuming that Harley Quinn is more fit and athletic than the average Joe a technique meant to defeat a stronger opponent than yourself may need to be utilized learn from the martial art of Brazilian jiu-jitsu might help this is a ground-based form of fighting when Harley rushes past you seize the opportunity to target her ankle and swing her to the floor then use leverage to apply joint locks or chokehold to restrain her until police arrive you may need to use every ounce of strength in your body to pin her down for a long duration because she will resist struggle and try to squirm her way out of your grip that is probably the best way to defeat her physically but not everyone has time to invest in taking jiu-jitsu classes with their busy schedules this fighting strategy can also take years to master if you want to try talking to convince her out of a fight you could try to out manipulate her this may be difficult unless you have the same psychological training that she possesses you'd also have to manage to say something quick that immediately grabs her attention and stops her in their tracks before she can get the best of you knowing her weaknesses can help with this her love for the Joker and her heightened level of insecurity can be a beneficial tool to work with Batman managed to do just this in the episode of the animated series mad love when Harley had him chained upside down over a piranha tank he explained her that the Joker didn't actually love her and that he only cared about himself this upset her and she was adamantly in denial about it Batman then further explained how the Joker tells lies to gain sympathy which seemed to strike a nerve with Harley but again she denied this to be true furious she almost killed Batman right then and there but then he mentioned that she wouldn't be able to prove to the Joker that she was the one who did it this was an ingenious tactic on his party making Harley desirous to call up the Joker first before killing him not only did talking to her delay Batman's death but it also saved him when the Joker arrived at the scene he was furious with Harley because she had shattered his ego he wanted to be the one to outsmart and kill Batman himself and he didn't like the idea that she could do it while he could not thus the Joker freed him so that Batman could live to fight another day and continue to play his sick games so how does this information benefit you the average Joe against Harley Quinn well if you use your wit and choose your words carefully you may be able to defeat Harley Quinn in a similar way by targeting her psychologically those of you smart enough to subscribe to our channel have probably already seen our episodes on the recent craze sweeping men all over the world six-pack ABS courtesy of cosmetic surgery our deep dive into this new craze amongst men revealed some pretty disturbing things like for instance the fact that men now opt for cosmetic surgery at a greater rate than women selfie culture seems to be taking a pretty big hit on the egos of men around the world but what if you don't have thousands of dollars to spend on a quick surgical upgrade or what if you prefer to do things the more natural way stay tuned as we once more put your favorite and our least important staff writer through the wringer and challenge him to shape up or ship out as he does sit-ups for 90 days straight day one well as far as insane challenges go I guess I should count my lucky stars that this one is pretty mild doing sit-ups for 90 days is probably the thema sting that infographics has put me through in a long time maybe ever and that guess I could use it I like to stay in shape but I have an unreasonable hatred of doing any kind of ab workout it's exhausting on an emotional level like having to be the shoulder your friend cry zone after the guy you warned her to never date inevitably breaks up with her only it's my abs doing the crime if you followed these challenge episodes you might remember that I also hate running and for exactly the same reason complete and utterly boring exercises I know firsthand the benefits of constant sit-ups though and used to rock a six-pack throughout my military career thanks to all the constant running and ab exercises seriously the military loves making you do sit-ups it's the weirdest thing in the world and almost on a fetish level but you're always doing some variation of ab exercise from situps to burpees there were daily lunges mountain climbers burpees side planks Superman's bicycle crunches Godzilla stomps Russian twists and butterfly kicks so many insane ways to torture your abs that you probably didn't realize I made one of those up so I guess I'll be hopping in a time machine and going back in time to restart my old daily exercise routine I stopped my normal exercising for a few weeks before this to get a better sense of how effective this would be for the sake of the challenge so I'm looking forward to not feeling flabby and gross again but I am NOT looking forward to the actual exercises there's literally nothing more TV the NAP workouts except maybe running my routine will consist of the following in sets of 320 butterfly kicks 20 traditional crunches 20 Russian twists 20 elbow to knee crunches 20 burpees 20 mountain climbers don't expect that I'll be able to fully complete 3 sets at first and it'll take a while so if you're following at home and can only do one of the sets or a part of one of the sets don't sweat it just keep at it and note how you gradually get better and better that kind of slow improvement is a great source of inspiration I'll check in every 30 days so I guess I'll see you guys in a month day 30 as predicted I couldn't fulfill all three sets of each exercise at the start and my regular life I stay pretty fit but since I stopped exercising for a few weeks in preparation for this challenge I definitely lost a lot of stamina and strength I could barely crank out the first set on each exercise at first and now at the end of the month I'm hitting the full 3 sets but definitely feel like I'm about to die at the end as far as my actual apps well they're definitely noticeable when I press down on my stomach but they're not super well defined you can see a vague shape but I'm not rocking a noticeable 6-pack sadly that's gonna take a lot more work I guess I do feel better about myself overall though it's nice to be exercising again and I kind of miss getting the blood pumping every morning I've never been an exercise junkie I just do it because I like the results and because I need to but I don't get literal pleasure out of it the way my girlfriend does but I think she's insane never fully trust anyone who says they honestly enjoy exercising they're probably not really human probably some weird space alien in disguise waiting for you to drop your guard so it can harvest your brains see you guys in another 30 if my brain hasn't been harvested day 60 so over the last 30 days the workout routines have become a lot easier to the point that doing the entire 3 sets of each exercise is not a problem I'm still ending a bit winded but I definitely feel that I could push it harder if I really wanted to I know I talked a lot of trash about exercise rightfully so but honestly getting to the point where you're doing things you could barely even start doing weeks ago does feel pretty good there's few things in life with such clearly defined goals or moments of success as with exercise rarely in life to you physical see the goal you're striving towards then realize the exact moment you've achieved it and the moment where you're ready to push past it as far as my body well you could definitely see AB muscles and I guess I'm rocking what you call a four pack not gonna lie to you I don't know if I'll be able to get to the six pack my diet is a bit all over the place and honestly all the insane info graphics challenges aren't helping in that regard but more importantly I just don't live the lifestyle I used to last time I had a clearly defined six-pack it was basically my job to workout and keep it fighting shape and my diet was pretty well defined thanks to the chow hall and MREs out in the field now I definitely do a lot less cardio spend a lot less time in 100 plus degree temperatures and eat a lot more terrible snacks I feel like getting to an actual well-defined six-pack is an entire lifestyle choice and I have no interest in that I enjoy overeating occasionally and devouring an entire pan of cheesecake once in a blue moon I have one more month left to go but I'm not confident I'll be seeing a six-pack by the end of this day 90 90 day sit-up challenge complete and the journey was rough then got okay and then I don't know all the exercising just got to be part of my daily routine not gonna pretend that exercise routines are easy and I'll admit that if it wasn't literally my job to have committed every day to this routine I would have taken plenty of cheat days but as anyone following along at home knows starting this journey is pretty damn difficult especially when you're wheezing and gasping through the first few reps in your first set in time though it gets easier and it feels pretty satisfying to see yourself pushing past year old limits eventually if you stick with it long enough it kind of becomes part of your nature surely you'll take your cheat days but I think the longer you stick with that routine the harder becomes to actually quit that routine because it just starts to feel unnatural to not do it after 90 days my 60-day prediction held true I'm definitely not rocking a six-pack but it's not because the muscles aren't there the muscles are definitely there but I just didn't commit to a complete diet change that would trim all the excess fat around my midsection and the belly that's the thing about working at your abs it's not just gonna get rid of every ounce of belly fat unless you're carefully monitoring every bite of food you eat it's called diet and exercise for a reason I am however rocking a pretty nice four pack with some great definition and well it kind of does a lot for yourself esteem also the girlfriend is practically in love with it so that's a pretty big plus in the end though getting those results is a personal choice and if you can't find a reason to want this for yourself not what other people think about it sticking to a workout routine like this probably isn't going to be realistic I really wish any of you following at home good luck and I encourage you to stick with it getting in shape feels great and is great for your health and take it from me I know what it's like to want to quit but don't keep with it and you'll see some pretty awesome results in time now if you'll excuse me I have to go buy a bunch of super douchey name-brand workout clothes and take a series of really obnoxious Instagram pictures in front of a gym near the public bathroom is there anything more profile than disgusting yet completely frustratingly necessary in our civilization than the communal pot study after study has shown that public restrooms are germ factories and if you've seen some of our own episodes on the subject then you probably haven't used a public restroom since but what if that was your only option what if your sacred porcelain throne was forever out of reach and your only recourse was to use a public bathroom instead every single day every single time we're once more delving into the deepest scientific mysteries known to man and forcing your favorite and our least important writer to use only public bathrooms for a week straight day one thanks YouTube really I mean thank you so much for feeding the Satanists who run the infographics show even more ridiculous ways to make my life as inconvenient disgusting and painful as possible what's next YouTube challenge I ate only live Hornets for a month straight I should probably keep my mouth shut and not give infographics any ideas but I'm pretty sure even they wouldn't go that far not gonna lie though I had second and then third thoughts about that last day so here's the thing my girlfriend used to hate these challenges and sometimes she still does the no lying for a week pretty much torpedoed our social life and she made me sleep on the sofa when I couldn't shower for a month straight but lately she's kind of been enjoying these new challenges I don't know if she sees it as a payback for all my other shenanigans but I swear I see the little devil horns growing on her head when I tell her things like hey babe guess what I can't use the bathroom in the house for the next week I swear she's in cahoots with the infographic staff okay so no house bathroom for a week I had to sit down and think out the logistics of this one because obviously this means I'll have to be trying to find a public bathroom every single time I have to use one the dog gets to pee and poop outside and nobody bats an eye but I'm pretty sure that if I tried the same thing someone would call the police talk about double standards it's the exact same stuff so in order to make this feasible I plotted out all the local businesses and their hours of operation luckily I happen to live literally right next door to a 7-eleven so popping over next door in the middle of the night for Wiz is no problem I go in there all the time now four years so I'm pretty familiar with the guys behind the counter and I think it'll be no big deal to use the bathroom even in the middle of the night there's also a Starbucks across the street which is great because their bathroom is open in the seating area as opposed to the 7-eleven bathroom which is in the employees only area that means I don't have to ask permission at Starbucks and I've already decided on a cover story for using the bathroom everywhere else my apartment is undergoing renovations luckily for me I've always been on good terms with the guys who run the 7-eleven next door so I'm pretty sure I'll have a reliable access to that toilet for emergencies there is also a gas station across the street but again that one's the type where you have to ask for a key and to be perfectly honest I think I've been incited like twice in the last seven years and lived here I think my strategy is going to be to spread out the bathrooms at use so that I don't wear out my welcome anywhere or at least so people don't think I'm the biggest weirdo on planet Earth I think the gas station would be good for two maybe three visits tops though just because I'm really not familiar with the staff there there is a large grocery store also across the street but their's are also the types of bathrooms you ask to use I go there pretty regularly but after my wearing women's makeup for a week and the no lying for a week stunts I'm not sure how welcome I am to be frequenting their bathrooms they already probably think I'm the weirdest person in town and I really don't want to add to my reputation there is thankfully a Carl's jr. also across the street though which I can use at any time because they are a 24/7 restaurant the bathrooms there are also public okay so I have my battle plan and I've plotted out my number two locations for the next week honestly doing all this work to figure out where I'm gonna be droppin deuces for the next seven days kind of made me realize that my life is very weird I can just imagine trying to explain my job to someone oh how was work this week well I had to calculate where I was going to do my bathroom business for the last seven days you know normal nine-to-five stuff see you guys in a few days day four okay well I'm not entirely sure what kind of resources infographics has at its disposal but I'm really trying to not believe that they have the power to shut down an entire restaurant while simultaneously breaking the toilet in a completely separate venue here's the thing remember how earlier this week I said it was going to use Carl's jr. and the 7-eleven for most of my around-the-clock toilet needs well on day two the Carl's jr. which has been happily doing business right across the street for seven years that I've been living here suddenly closed up a sign on the door says that it's closed down for good and won't you please visit the other location that's only three freakin miles away talk about a wrench in the plans but wait because as our good friend Billy Mays may he rest in peace would say there's more on day three the toilet at 7-eleven broke my primary and then my backup locations for round-the-clock toilet access are officially gone and what's worse is that those were the only 24-hour spots that are open around here the gas station across the street only leaves the pump zone at night so no employee inside I've always loved where we live at because even though it's in the middle of the city it's in an area that's not too developed with businesses and is mostly residential that means no traffic and no giant office buildings and all the noise that goes along with city life instead we have parks trees grass and places to play fetch with your dog it also means that if you're dumb enough to have a job that requires you not to do your business at home for a full week you're kind of Sol when it comes to late night bathrooms to use it's not like I can just go knock on my neighbor's door at 2:00 a.m. and ask to use the can so I found a solution for my late-night problems and it's not perfect and I'm not particularly happy about it but well it works for me I got the inspiration from my dog and I can bet most of you already know where this is going see he gets to pee and poo basically anywhere he pleases as long as it's outside and like the stupid humans that we are we've come along behind him and pick up his poop with plastic bags which really begs the question of who's the actual master in the relationship no I'm not going in plastic bags but believe you me it's not like the thought didn't cross my mind instead of going on that you're ow there's a large empty lock a short walk across this from my apartment complex where huge power lines run through it's fenced off with a low fence and ringed on both sides by houses with their own walls or fences there's a keep out sign post appear because of the big power pylons and some waterworks plumbing but I usually ignore it and take the dog in there to throw the ball and let it run around off leash this is my new bathroom and it's perfect because the trees at the front that block the line of sight from the field to the road and it's the perfect place for incognito poos but I'm not gonna lie I feel like a criminal sneaking off to drop a deuce in secret and out in public again the dog does it literally every day but I'm pretty sure it's a criminal offense by got caught as far as my regular public restroom use goes though hum man it's bad what is it with people that when they get into a public restroom they literally lose their damn minds you can take a normal civilized human being who regularly uses the toilet at home and then stick them in a public restroom and they can walk away leaving a catastrophe behind it's like people literally don't understand how to use sinks and turn them on full blast so water goes everywhere or like they've just had a hand transplant surgery and their pee goes literally everywhere and don't get me started on the biggest mystery of all why in the blue blazes do people not flush their turrets after dropping them what could possibly compel a normal person to drop a deuce in a public toilet and then literally just walk away like it's the normal thing to do a gift then most public toilets are automatic which by the way I suspect are only automatic because of this exact problem but I'm pretty sure your toilet at home isn't automatic you know how to flush why do you have to be this way but the biggest mystery is when there's no toilet paper in the bowl that's right somebody just did their business and then literally just walked away just drop and go no wipe no flush just flop and turbo on out of the bathroom day 7 I had the handed to the infographic show because they consistently make me grateful for the things I have in my life by denying me their use I never failed to appreciate a shower lately after that month-long Fiasco of no showers and I practically tell my phone I love you every morning after a week of no phone use my home toilet is no different I don't have an excuse though I've been deployed before when I was in the military and I'm no stranger to lacking facilities I guess I've gone soft though because I definitely have not appreciated my toilet as much as I should have and this week of using nothing but public restrooms has taught me the error of my over privileged ways what can I say about my experience how can I possibly sum this up for you viewers at home it's equal parts terrible and disgusting someone once said that you can judge how civilized a society is by the way they treat their prisoners but they were dead wrong dead wrong you can judge how civilized the society is by the state of its public restrooms and the state of America's public restrooms are an absolute nightmare if aliens came to earth and wanted to know how enlightened they were they would step into a public restroom and immediately rush out laying waste to our entire planet with their death rays just to keep us from spreading into the galaxy we are Neanderthals who after tens of thousands of years haven't yet figured out what proper bathroom etiquette is here's some simple rules based off my observations of public restrooms over the last week first flush if your toilet is an automatic hit the flush lever if it is automatic and it doesn't flush hit the button there's always one then calmly make your way to the sink and simply turn on the water to a moderate and reasonable pressure don't parkour across the stalls and blast the water like you're putting out a seven-story fire then take a single paper towel and dry your hands don't rip up every paper towel out of the holder and start to shred it into confetti like you're throwing a bathroom theme to Brazilian Carnaval oh and if you need to number two then for the sake of everyone around you wipe before you leave how some people haven't figured this one out yet is beyond me cable subscriptions around the country are in decline as internet streaming services take the place of expensive channel packages in many ways it makes perfect sense after all why should you pay for hundreds of channels when you only like watching a few dozen yet many households in the US have both streaming services and cable but with the explosion of Internet TV we find ourselves asking is the net enough to satisfy our entertainment needs to find out we once again turn to your favorite and our least important staff writer to challenge him to give up an entire day of his life that he'll never get back and watch YouTube for 24 hours straight our zero a 24 hour challenge this is so much nicer than the typical month-long nightmares I have to endure and for once the challenge doesn't involve something ridiculous dangerous or my personal favorites ridden giris a combination of the two the rules to this one are simple watch YouTube for 24 hours straight what I watch doesn't matter I just have to physically watch it pausing only for bathroom breaks and I guess emergencies such as the house burning down around me although with YouTube streaming on smartphones nowadays even that probably wouldn't qualify short of a zombie apocalypse that also knocks out the Internet I have to watch YouTube non-stop I admit that I already get most of my watching done online and I haven't had cable for at least a decade and life has been perfectly fine with just streaming subscriptions less ads and you get exactly the content you want without paying for a hundred channels dedicated to rural soccer teams in the Amazon rainforest it's a pretty damn good deal if you ask me to be honest I don't even know why people still pay for cable although I guess maybe there's a few shows on TV you can't get on streaming as fast as you can watch on TV but even most of the best TV shows are available on streaming anyways like Game of Thrones although after that disaster is finale I'm not even sure HBO Go exists anymore do they even make out their shows so I hesitate to say this but this might actually be fun for once I'll check in in a few hours and record my experiences our five five hours down a little over a fifth of my challenge complete this is cakewalk at first I thought it might be difficult to get through because despite there being billions of videos on YouTube I honestly didn't think there would be anything I really wanted to watch I'm Bagon internet celebrities are watching streams probably because I'm not 12 years old and mean videos are entertaining for about 10 minutes because again I'm not 12 years old I do love animal prank videos though so I watched a few of those and just kind of let it autoplay from one video to another an hour later I was watching Animalia fail videos which somewhere around hour to segue to human fail videos which was fine until those led to some very annoying internet celebrity videos at which point I stopped watching we get it you're cool online I decided to rewatch some my favorite movies trailers and found a bunch from way back in the day loaded online watching the original alien trailer gave me the chills as well as the original thing trailer they really don't make horror movies like they used to I just let it auto play again and realized I spent almost three additional hours watching trailers for old movies which got me to thinking who the hell uploads these YouTube is like a huge virtual library for video but who in the world actually takes the time to upload all of these videos whoever you are you're doing a hell of a service for humanity keep it up five hours down 19 to go easy-peasy so far our 9 there's a lot and I mean a lot of movie trailers on YouTube I watched trailers up until an hour ago and I realized that trailers maybe my favorite part of a movie I always hated getting into a movie theater late and having missed the trailers and now if I'm being honest there's sometimes when I'm disappointed that the trailers are over and the actual movie is beginning I feel like I've watched every trailer for every movie ever from Caddyshack to the latest Pacific Rim girlfriend finished work early today so she came home and has joined me for at least part of this journey my ass is sore and my eyes are a little fuzzy from staring at a big screen TV all day but I'm definitely still entertained and I still cannot think why anyone would need a cable subscription with all this media at your fingertips I've decided to let her pick what we watch and I'm curious if she can be as entertained as me by YouTube our 13 girlfriend made it for hours although to be fair she did have to leave for one of her classes at the gym she said she felt kind of worn out from just sitting and watching and when she did I realized that I'm pretty worn out too even though I work from home and spend a lot of time on the computer I still try to make sure I stay somewhat active and have definitely never sat on my ass thirteen hours straight my eyes are kind of fuzzy and my brain feels just a little bit mushy which is ironic because we just spent the last four hours watching documentaries I didn't realize how many documentaries YouTube has and I love Docs so it was a pleasant surprise I also didn't realize just how wide a variety of Doc's they have we watched one on the moon landings and then another on the hunt for the giant squid for laughs we watched one on Bigfoot and another on the Nazis we went from moon landings to giant squids to Bigfoot to Nazis Wow YouTube is there anything you don't have uploaded I'm feeling pretty tired already though from just sitting here so I think I need to energize myself and I have just the idea with the girlfriend gone for a few hours I'm gonna watch a bunch of old really cheesy music videos on full-blast and I mean super cheesy but energetic stuff like barbie girl by aqua that she'd wake me up our 15 girlfriend came home and caught me singing along to Spice Girl songs at the top of my lungs I don't have anything else to report other than my humiliation when she went to the kitchen and asked me what I wanted for dinner I blasted out the opening to the Spice Girls wannabe belting out yo I'll tell you what I want what I really really want she stuck her head out of the kitchen and just glared at me our 20 okay things are getting a bit rough but I don't think YouTube is to blame to be perfectly honest there is literally no end to the entertaining crap I found on YouTube all these hours but sitting here on the couch and just watching TVs killing me funny because I'm getting paid for it and it's basically eight year old me's dream job my ass hurts from sitting though and I've had to get up and pace around the living room just to wake my legs up honestly the biggest challenge here is not finding things to watch for 24 hours on YouTube that makes the experience bearable it's just physically watching for 24 hours I watched some redubbed old school cartoons like Captain Planet GI Joe and transformers and almost busted a gut laughing then I went back to watch some really obscure music videos like really really obscure stuff and discovered hillbilly metal yes that's a thing and yes you should go watch it immediately after this video because you won't regret it I also found Mongolian throat singers rapping which is also pretty mind-blowing ly awesome if you don't know Mongolian throat singers are men and women who sing directly from the back of their throat and have really deep scratchy melodies at some younger have learned to rap while singing in that style and it's the best thing I've ever heard maybe even better than hillbilly metal and then for some reason I started watching a bunch of old Enrique Iglesias music videos don't judge me the girlfriend already has our 24 that's it an entire day of watching YouTube done I've watched everything from movie trailers to redub cartoons to the weirdest music videos humanity has ever created and there are some real head scratchers out there so what if I learned from this experience well the most obvious is that humans are weird like really really weird I don't know how strange aliens will be when we finally meet them but I have a very hard time believing that any intelligent life we ever encounter is going to have an online repository with literally millions of videos of people scaring their cats with cucumbers or their space cats I guess I also confirmed that you can in fact watch 24 hours straight of YouTube and never ever run out of content to keep you entertained I stand by my original position on owning cable and if any of you do still own cable subscriptions why cable is expensive and forces you to take packages with a ton of channels you don't like while the internet literally offers you whatever you want right upfront and most of the time the only cost is your internet subscription honestly the hardest part of this challenge was the physical element of it not moving from the couch for 24 hours is incredibly exhausting more so than just staying up I've worked for over 24 hours before on film sets and when hitting writing deadlines or even my time in the military but when you're just not doing anything now that's hard even if you're being entertained with people failing in hilarious ways cats being scared with cucumbers or very loudly watching embarrassing music videos you secretly love honestly though as far as challenges go my brain feels fried but at least this one was entertaining I feel like you could watch YouTube straight for a year and never get bored by the way for my sake don't suggest that in the comments because I'm pretty sure the infographics show will totally think it's an amazing challenge idea and immediately make me do it so keep on suggesting they send me to Hawaii for a month because it totally rocks that you guys have my back all my suffering feels like it's not for nothing so if you're in the let's say more mature and of our audience you might remember the ads in the back of comic books for all the wondrous gadgets that were guaranteed to work except that no they didn't work in all from truth rings that would let you know when someone is lying to you to the fabled x-ray specs which would let you see people's underwear there's probably no device that held more promise than hypnosis goggles and there's very few processes more misunderstood than hypnosis itself what does hypnosis really work can you really scramble someone's brains and make them obey your every command that's what we're gonna find out as we try to manipulate the brain of your favorite and our least important staff writer in this new hypnosis challenge day one okay so this time I'm running two challenges simultaneously though I won't mention the other one as that's for a different episode that has no bearing on this challenge bosses over at infographics decided that 12 wasn't enough months in a year so they got the genius idea of cramming two challenges together into the same month as long as the effects of one wouldn't detract from the experiences of the other morally ambiguous but definitely ingenious on their behalf this time I'm gonna be hypnotized to report on the effects of hypnosis which means that four times a week I'll be going to a hypnotherapist who I guess will manipulate my brain I'm not really sure what to expect here because I have absolutely zero experience with hypnosis so as usual I'm doing my research beforehand if gnosis apparently started back in the Hindu temples of ancient India with people taking sick loved ones to temples where they hope to be cured by hypnotic suggestion known as temple sleep the procedure is exactly what you might guess it was the individual slept overnight at the temple while communicating with the gods apparently the gist was that sickness was in the mind and the gods could tap into your brain and sort things out if only you came to their temple first they didn't make house calls and the Wi-Fi outside the temple grounds must have been too bad to chat remotely then in the 1770s knowledge of hypnosis came to the Western world where it became all the rage amongst the Europeans a guy named Frank Mesmer who believed that all living creatures had what he called animal magnetism started promoting the health benefits of hypnosis and the French king was having none of that silly new-agey crap so he put together a medical board of inquiry which proved that animal magnetism had about as much effect as a placebo it was all in the mind they decided from there we have hypnosis and sadly magnetism still prescribed as a cure for literally everything that ails you from weight loss to cancer to quitting smoking if you need a behavior changed or something cured wave a magnet over it or let someone hypnotize it out of you okay so clearly I'm showing my true colors here in that I'm a bit of a skeptic and don't take this too seriously well that's what this challenge is all about can hypnosis really changed my life to find out I'm going to challenge the hypnotherapist to try and rid me of my greatest addiction french fries I love french fries see you're hearing that sentence thinking to yourself oh he is a great like for french fries but you're not actually understanding the words I'm saying I love my girlfriend she's the rock of my life but I really love french fries I would do anything for them I'd probably even kill if they asked me to home-cooked french fries fast food french fries bad french fries old french fries it doesn't matter to me I love them I love them with ketchup I love them with mayo I would eat them in a box I would eat them with a fox I would eat them here or there I would eat them anywhere so tomorrow I start my first hypnosis session and the therapist is challenged with trying to get me to stop loving french fries good luck though the girlfriend would love it because she knows how unhealthy they offer me she's got her hopes pinned on this working and I've bet her an entire week's worth of her making dinner that it won't and the catch is that those dinners have to include french fries day seven and two the first weekend I love french fries I don't feel any different if anything I kind of feel like I'm craving them more than ever because of all the constant reminders that french fries are a thing at the therapist she asked me lie down on a couch and slowly relax she talks real soothingly to me and the first time this happened I thought to myself that all the ASMR lovers out there would have a field day with this stuff I gotta admit though the atmosphere is pretty relaxing and the therapist is very soothing there's no music and no watch swinging like a pendulum that I have to stare into nor any spinning black and white spirals I have to hold my gigs on it's just a couch dim lighting in her voice she tells me to get into a deeply deeply relaxed state and to clear my mind and then she asked me to think about french fries this part always makes me hungry she asked me to concentrate on french fries too Melvyn to taste them and to linger in the feelings that this brings up then she tells me to imagine that the French fries are rotting away and that I can taste the mushy staleness of them she asked me to think about finding a month-old step-down french fry on the floor of the car and to feel it in my hands to taste what it would taste like to eat it then she lifts me out of that and brings me back to the fresh hot delicious french fries and then back to the stale dirty gross french fries she'll do this two or three times and then she tells me how from now on when I think about french fries I'll think about the stale gross taste of them and not the delicious warm crispy mess then she has me come out of my hypnosis by having me feel my limbs come back to life one by one and at last she tells me to just open my eyes that's it no snap of the fingers no magic word no nothing I just fantasize about french fries then grossed myself out over them over and over again and I leave her office two out of the four times I went to the hypnotherapist this week I went straight to a fast food place and got an order of french fries still delicious looks like I'm winning this bag day fourteen I guess you could consider my version of hypnotherapy pretty aggressive given the fact that it has to fit within a 30-day challenge typically these are supposed to drag out over two or three months sometimes even as long as a year and the therapist tells me that that's the best way to ease someone out of a deep addiction with me though I'm getting emergency hypno surgery I have to admit I cannot think about the things that therapist makes me visualize when I think about french fries now I still love them I'm still eating them and I'm still sure I'm gonna win this bet but images of gross stepped on French fries pop into my mind and I kinda have to take a second I told the girlfriend about this and she just got this little smirk on her face and said it's working Yeah right nobody is gonna mess with my mind that easily I'm winning this and I'll celebrate victory with fistfuls of french fries salted by my girlfriend's crocodile tears day 21 I've realized that on average I eat french fries about three times a week either making my own or just ordering some while driving to random places I don't like much fast food but fries well their fries this week though I didn't even realize I hadn't eaten any until the girlfriend brought me home a fresh large serving of fries from the place right across the street she told me that she had asked for them to be fresh and waited an extra five minutes for a new batch to be made then she looked at me with that same little smirk she gets when she's doing something devious and said I just wanted a little reminder that I love you at this point all kinds of alarm bells and klaxon started going off in my head I don't doubt she loves me in fact she's always on my case about food exactly because she loves me and wants me healthy but this french fry offering something wasn't right here I took it I smelled it suspiciously I have suspected that she had seasoned it with some weird powder that would make me hate french fries or I don't know I just knew that something was wrong here I ate about half no big deal same old french fries no weird tastes no weird smells just same old delicious fries I always get then once I hit that halfway mark I just I didn't want to finish them I felt full even though I hadn't eaten anything but more than that I just felt bad these the last two weeks the hypnotherapist has been asking me to imagine eating french fries and then imagine all the grease and oil inside them spreading throughout my body and slowing it down now halfway through this serving of fries I felt full and sluggish also they didn't taste as good anymore I knew I liked the way they tasted but it just wasn't as good as it always had been I can't believe I'm saying this but I had to stop I didn't want them anymore what in the world is going on with my brain day 30 I concede defeat sorta a full month of intensive hypnotherapy and I honestly just don't find myself craving or loving french fries as much as I used to now when I Drive by a fast food place and smell them in the air I get a little bit not queasy but uncomfortable I can't stop thinking about the way the hypnotherapist asked me to constantly imagine what it would feel like for the fatten oil inside them to spread across my body and saturate me completely I have to admit I was skeptical suspicious and more than a little flippant about this challenge but I think it got me I mean I can rationally explain away the effects as nothing more than just having gross imagery and feelings reinforced on me over a 30-day period and that my brain isn't actually hacked but then again isn't that exactly what hypnosis is meant to do modify your behavior and how can my behavior not be modified when every time I think about french fries i pictured gross fat in my body or imagine the taste of eating a month-old fry from the floor of my car I'm confident this will fade now that I'm no longer being hypnotized four times a day but I guess I can see now why hypnotherapy programs are meant to last for months or even a year more and are far more gradual that kind of constant reinforcement really paves the way for some big changes so I have to admit hypnosis may work and I definitely lost the bet between me and the girlfriend so instead of her making me french fries for dinner every day for a week now I have to make her dinner every day for a week which is convenient because unless it's raw fruits and vegetables she can't cook worth a damn keto diet Paleo diet no carb diet the world is full of suggestions on how to get healthier and lose weight but how are you supposed to know what's real and what's buck it's another challenge episode of the infographics show and today we're gonna help you on your quest to live healthier by once more using your favourites in our least important staff writer as a human guinea pig as we challenge him to drink his food through a straw for a whole week Monday well this is definitely a different type of challenge and I can't say that I'm upset about that the 30-day challenges can be kind of brutal and definitely take a toll on my personal life and by comparison doing a single week seems like a cakewalk at least that's until I really started to think about the exact challenge drinking your food through a straw for a whole week I'm not much of a nutritionist so this is going to take some serious research to figure out how to drink my food and not starve to death I've done fasts before for a day or two at a time and typically the health-nut girlfriend will fix all kinds of juices to get us through the fast but I gotta admit that I'm always left feeling absolutely famished even after drinking a nice thick fruit smoothie I guess I'm just hardwired for solid food fast by the way turn out to have some pretty good health benefits it's not just all new agey feel-good mumbo jumbo and evolutionarily they make a lot of sense in the wild you don't get to eat as regularly as we do in civilization so everyone scoffing at the idea of a fast for health benefits is out of touch with reality so I've decided to break this challenge up in two days since I typically do weekly reporting this time I'll just report on my day to day meals and how I feel about not eating solid food I have a little bit of a leg up since I've worked closely with a pretty well-known fitness model as her photographer and videographer and have the benefit of her health knowledge rubbing off on me she used fast for up to 72 hours at a time and would regularly eat liquid meals during her fast so I'll be passing on some of her tips here in this challenge hopefully they'll be of help for anyone interested in recreating this challenge themselves or just starting their own habit of fasting today Monday and tomorrow I'll be following a medical liquid meal diet which includes hot cereal with milk soup more soup and oatmeal this already sounds so boring I want to kill myself Wednesday and Thursday I'll be drinking juices from a juice cleanse diet and a few bottles of Soylent which you can order online as a meal replacement Friday and Saturday I'm gonna be eating a milky rice thing that the girlfriend swears by and learn to make in Spain consomme in yogurt Sunday is the wild-card and I'm going to be trying the one thing that I know everyone watching this video was thinking of eating an actual meal through a straw in other words I'm gonna take real breakfast lunch and dinner options and put them in a blender and try to eat them I expect this is gonna be disgusting and I am in no way looking forward to this but I thought it only fair because to be honest even I'm curious about what that would be like if I clicked on this video I'd expect to see someone actually try this and lucky me I get to be the lab rat I'm already gagging thinking about what it's going to be like to be honest well I'll see you guys in two days Tuesday I'm not as hungry as I thought it would be typically when the girlfriend and I do a monthly two day faster something like that I'm always starving because liquids just don't fill me up either she's the best liar in the world where she really honestly feels completely satisfied drinking just juices she's insane I thought that a liquid meal plan would basically mean I'd be starving all the time but it turns out boat meal hot cereal which I found it is different from oatmeal and soup can be pretty filling then again I made my oatmeal pretty thick and I got clam chowder and tomato soup I was gonna go for chicken noodle but there's no way I can slurp the noodles and the chicken up through a straw and that's the main stipulation of this whole challenge sucking up the oatmeal alone was a task and a half and I swear I almost ruptured a lung trying but then I got the idea to run olive oil through the straw first and it worked like a charm now I'm thinking about just buying a bigger straw pretty sure if I cut up steak small enough I get suck it through a large straw and no that's not cheating the rules specifically say that the food has to be drank through a straw it's not my fault infographics forgot to stipulate how large this straw could be so far I feel fine I guess as far as the challenges go this one's pretty easy and for once the girlfriend is relieved that the challenge isn't something ridiculous / dangerous and actually kind of healthy Thursday please send help I am starving to death the last two days have been the polar opposite of the first two days juices are terrible for filling you up my body literally craves solid food and I think it's actually eating itself I always get like this during a fast but I always tend to stuff my face immediately after the 48 hours are up so I have something to look forward to typically we end our fasts early in the morning after starting around 5 a.m. 48 hours prior so I'll go for a huge breakfast burrito with bacon and ham on the side or a giant waffle with syrup and lots of butter oh my god I think I'm actually getting sexually excited thinking about solid food anyways the point is having something to look forward to can help you endure a fast but this time I don't have anything to look forward to but another three days of liquid crap to drink up I'm so hungry the dog is starting to look delicious I honestly don't understand how people like Yogi's and monks can go for weeks just drinking nothing but juices I need to immediately kill a wild animal and eat it raw now if you'll excuse me I'm gonna go take my phone into the bedroom and lock the door while I look at pictures from a Denny's breakfast menu Saturday if anyone offers you milk rice or arroz con leche immediately throw it in their face and run for your life because that person is not your friend and is trying to hurt you knowing how poorly I always do with just juice and fruit smoothies during our fasts a girlfriend made me the milk rice thing that you learned from Spain thinking it would be solid enough to satisfy a for effort but it's one of the most disgusting things I've ever tasted I can't fathom how it was created seriously bear with me here and imagine the following some guy is sitting in his medieval kitchen and staring at a sack of rice then he looks at a pitcher of milk then the rice again in the milk rice milk milk rice and for some godforsaken reason his primitive little brain decides this will be a pretty cool combination to try out and millions of people agree rice does not belong with milk ever it doesn't even remotely ever come in contact or in the proximity of milk in the wild and it is an abomination to combine the two sorry I feel like this all liquid diet is starting to wear on me and I've developed an unreasonable hatred for milky rice I still ate at both days the girlfriend made it though because when you live with someone in a long-term relationship you make those kind of sacrifices when they think they're doing something really nice and sweet for you even if it kills your soul you just grin and suck more milk rice through your straw that's called love folks it's a stupid invention but we're stuck with it also though I gotta admit I crave literally anything semi-solid and the milky rice has the consistency of pudding which makes me feel more full than juice ever did thank God only one day left Sunday today was a disaster beyond measure today was the day d-day the day literally all of you have stayed tuned for what it's like to drink a real meal through a straw you think you know you think you have some vague idea of how disgusting it would be to blend together a cheeseburger and then suck it up through a straw you know nothing you are ignorant to the pain and suffering that is life I decided that this was the most important part of the challenge and it was only fair to give it as good a try as possible to that end I went online and had a menu for breakfast lunch and dinner automatically generated on a meal planning website and then let it randomly select a dish for me my rules were simple whatever it's selected I would make I would stick in a blender and I would drink as much as I could you think you know how disgusting this was you know nothing for breakfast I was automatically assigned pancakes a delicious treat of fluffy bread stacks topped with syrup and melting butter if there's a meal more traditionally American than that I don't know what it is aside from apple pie I guess normally pancakes are an absolute favorite of mine a real treat that I look forward to and enjoy with all my heart today cakes were hell I made them the way I normally do even topped them with butter which I let melt and then poured syrup liberally all over them next I took the delicious smelling stack of flapjacks and stuck them straight into the blender set to the highest setting and mixed the pancakes turn into a brownish whitish goop which Begley smells like syrup a bun a bit like butter and looks 100% like vomit the first problem was immediately obvious it was way too thick to suck through a straw and I nearly had a coronary until the girlfriend suggested I water it down somehow first I tried just pouring more syrup in but that barely did anything to dilute the thick sludge then I resorted to milk and after another thorough blending that did the trick let me tell you it wasn't pleasant but I did manage to mouthfuls before I had to quit the smell and even the taste remind you you're eating pancakes but the sludge in your mouth makes you think you're eating pancake Mahmut for lunch I randomly selected bean burrito and I was more relieved than you can know it almost felt like a cheat because let's face it a good bean burrito is already halfway to being drinkable with a straw I've fixed up the beans and rice and it's sour cream wrapped it in a flour tortilla and into the blender it went if the blended pancakes were awful the bean burrito was actually not that bad it was actually easier to drink up because the taste of the beans is so powerful it really just felt like a thick bean paste which I had to water down with salsa to make it easier to drink I managed a few mouthfuls until I made the mistake of looking down at the beany slushie I was drinking which reminded me of drunk vomit and I nearly lost it next was dinner I don't want to talk about dinner we shouldn't talk about dinner dinner was hell I randomly selected a cheeseburger which made me really happy because I kill for a cheeseburger right now but then I remembered how I had to eat my cheeseburger I was already pre gagging before I was even done cooking it I decided that fair was fair so I made a cheeseburger and I topped it with lettuce mistake Mayo mistake ketchup mistake and even some bacon strips even bigger mistake then you guessed it into the blender it went I almost Ralph the moment I saw this beautiful amazing delicious cheeseburger turned into a brownish sludgy mix there were streaks of different shades of brown like a poop rainbow and even before I sucked up some of it I knew that this was the moment I would regret this stupid idiot challenge I pressed on regardless and the girlfriend watched me with her mouth slightly open incredulous then I was actually gonna do it she had bet me I wouldn't dare after I saw what the blended mess looked like well I proved her wrong sort of the moment the meat sledge hit my mouth I lost it my puked up some juice I had my stomach straight into the blender cup and then the smell of the blended cheeseburger and fruity juice both hit my nose at the same time and I raft again the girlfriend went bright red on seeing me go a second time and she ran away into the bathroom I heard her dry heaving for a while afterwards I can't even explain to you the mixture of taste and smell of blended meat and I'm already gagging remembering that's it my challenge is over and I can finally go back to eating like a normal human being for anyone curious I did manage to lose a pound and a half but was it worth it no I hate juice now and I hate milk rice and I hate whoever invented the blender I'm starving but way too nauseous to eat and I don't think I'll ever be able to smell a burger again without vomiting Challenge over make up it's a girl's best friend nothing can boost a woman's self-esteem quite like having her make up on point and nothing can ruin it faster than a botched makeup job while we here at the infographic show believe that all women are beautiful with or without makeup we were curious what life is like when you have to wear makeup every day we could have easily assigned this job to one of our female writers but our corporate research team did some focus groups and discover that there would be absolutely 0.0% fun in doing that so once again we're tasking your favorite and our least important staff writer with finding out what life with makeup is like in this challenge episode I wore makeup for a day start of day I think I sent in one of these episodes before that I stopped being surprised at the challenges that the infographic CEO tosses out of me but I stand very corrected honestly I'm not even sure what the appropriate response is to this new challenge I opened up my email and saw that there was a new challenge and the attachment simply read find out what wearing makeup is like a million questions ran through my mind like I don't know why don't you just ask literally any random girl infographics can do a 10 minute video on serial killers or how to protect the Earth from an alien invasion but they can't just interview a girl about makeup clearly this would be too easy and not nearly as entertaining as forcing me of all people to wear makeup in public why are you people watching the show it's run by sadists speaking of sadists I'm starting to suspect that the girlfriend is in cahoots with the infographic show's bosses because when I told her about the challenge she started laughing hysterically and then got really really excited she said she couldn't wait to do my makeup and then ran off a million different ideas she had for how to do it and then finally just said you know I always thought you'd make a pretty girl and that's the story of how in five seconds flat she completely emasculated me so there's literally no research to do here so I'm not going to bother the job is simple I'm gonna let my girlfriend do my makeup because I have literally no idea how to do it or what goes where and then well I'll go about my day as normal the girlfriend's been in a few fashion shows and she used to be a model for the cover art of those really awful cheesy romance novels that are basically porn for older women so she knows what she's doing even though she typically wears little make up in her day-to-day life I thought it would be only fair to do the challenge on a day I'm not gonna spend lounging around the house so I'll run the same errands I would have had to do on a normal day I'm already seriously dreading this but on the plus side Los Angeles is a really open-minded place so in all honesty I suspect that I'm not really going to get too many weird looks out here a guy in full makeup is well not normal but not really all that out of the normal here unfortunately we don't live in West Hollywood though we're men and full makeup are pretty much par for the course I would have completely fit in there and literally nobody would have thought it even remotely out of the ordinary so I guess I'll see you guys at the end of the day with my report end of day well this day was definitely one of the most interesting of my life and before I say anything else let me just say this to the lady fans of the infographics show I'm sorry honestly I had no idea the hassle you go through every day to put on makeup and to keep it fresh and then all the cleaning at night so your face doesn't break out do a hot mess from the left of her makeup I never knew now on to my day as I said earlier I let the girlfriend do my makeup because that only makes sense I warned her though to be subtle and I think she half heard me through the giant grin on her face and the constant very delighted in slightly evil giggling she kept me away from a mirror while she worked and it took her half an hour to get me ready she broke out into hysterical laughter at least a dozen times throughout but then at the end just before she let me look in the mirror she got serious and said Wow you'd be a hot girl and that's when I finally got to look in the mirror I'm very glad that infographics is an animated show because honestly I don't think I could get paid enough for someone to post my photo and full makeup in a video with tens of thousands possibly even hundreds of thousands of views anyways I looked well I mean I guess the only word is stunning I mean it I barely recognize myself and if I had shaved and maybe was in a dimly lit room and had longer hair I don't know maybe I'd be attracted to myself it literally kills me to say this but the girlfriend might have been right I've always had long eyelashes and the makeup makes them absolutely pops they look gigantic now I feel like every time I blink sweep the floor with them the girlfriend has always told me how jealous she was my eyelashes and now I see why for my lips she decided that a lighter pink was more my color she said I definitely wouldn't be a femme fatale with ruby red lips and even though I know this is wrong in every possible way I have to admit that it kind of bruised my ego to know that I couldn't be a femme fatale instead she told me that I made a much better girl next door innocent and sweet she told me if I wore a long sleeve shirt and hid my tattoos then for sure some creepy old man would hit on me today I don't even know how to process that statement other than to say that my girlfriend was enjoying this way too much she gave me some subtle blush on my cheeks after laying down a foundation of course I've got a pretty normal face but just like anyone I've got my imperfections and the foundation made my face looks smooth as a baby's bottom I gotta admit looking like you have perfectly smooth skin really does give you a tiny little lift to your self-esteem I guess I'm starting to get this whole makeup thing of course then there's blush on your cheeks and the painted lips and you remember that you're a regular bloke who looks like a lady in your self-esteem disappears from my eyes she gave me some lighter eyeshadow so it would compliment my lips and then she told me that I needed to wear light cream colors today so my makeup would match my outfit I reminded her that she's dating a guy whose wardrobe consists primarily of plain black or white t-shirts and she recommended I wear one of her blouses instead I recommended she stick her head in the blender I had warned her that there would be no pictures allowed today but she immediately snapped one as soon as I was done looking in the mirror I ended up chasing her around the house the dog going crazy and barking at us as I tried to wrestle her phone away from her finally I full-blown tackled her to the ground and she was laughing so hard she couldn't hold on to the phone and that's when I saw that she had already posted it to Instagram I tried to delete it but she managed to steal it back and then locked herself in the bathroom laughing her head off as I could hear her phone blowing up with texts from friends commenting on the pic from there my date didn't get much better I had to go to the post office the grocery store and the pet food store today so I got on with my day I immediately started getting looks the moment I stepped out of my apartment and one of the first faces I ran into was that of my landlord I lived in the same apartment for seven years and this kindly older man knows everything about me in my life he said good morning out of reflex and then just sort of stood there shocked the next thing he asked was are you and your girlfriend still together I assured him that we were and just told him it's a work thing trying to push to rest his fear that we had broken up and that I had gone off the deep end at the grocery store I got plenty of looks but predictably it turns out nobody really cares that much in Los Angeles in fact I had actually felt judged for exactly the wrong reasons I was wearing what I considered to be iconic me blue jeans and a black t-shirt but I couldn't stop getting the girlfriends words out of my head you have to wear cream colors with this makeup I actually started feeling stupid for not matching my outfit with my makeup and instead of being judged for wearing a girl's makeup I felt judged for wearing girls makeup and looking like total crap I don't even want to get into the psychology of what was going on there but the feeling only got worse as the day went on and I swear I almost went back home and changed at the post office I got a really long very severe look from the guy behind the counter this was an older man and definitely not one of the more enlightened residents of Los Angeles I thought for a moment he would kick me out to refuse me service and they got worried about seeing the ugly or more hateful side of people but I think it was just more shock than anything and maybe it's just in my head but I swear he looked down at my outfit and then back up at my makeup disapprovingly back outside on the street I definitely did run into the more ugly side of people as I was walking like dog a car full of younger kids probably in their teens drove past me and two of them leaned out the window killing all kinds of expletives YouTube doesn't let us say then calling me a fairy I really really dislike bullies and even though I'm a really laid-back guy whenever I see someone getting bullied my blood runs red-hot but you know what this time I just laughed my entire day was one long ridiculous affair my beautifully made-up face was gracing my girlfriend's Instagram with a few tens of thousands of followers and I'd been getting stairs all day at this point nothing could touch me anymore I was bulletproof so instead of hating those kids just laughed for anyone watching remember that you can't control how people treat but you can control how you feel about so I don't even know what my recap should be what did I learn from this if you're a regular bloke wearing makeup for a full day is pretty humiliating but in a weird way I feel it's kind of good for you once you get laughed at or stared at a few times you realize that people's opinions don't really matter and that is a message for our lady fans too I realize the pressure we put on you as a society to wear makeup and I realized today what a pain in the ass it can be to apply makeup and keep it from making you look like a clown as the day goes on but you know what you're beautiful already and touching up some blemishes here and there is not a bad thing but I hope none of you feel obligated to wear a painted up face every day for our sake as a guy trust me our opinions aren't worth it we're mostly just happy that you're paying attention to us in the first place think you could handle wearing makeup for a full day what other challenge do you want to see our favorite guinea pig undertake let us know in the comments and as always if you enjoyed this video don't forget to like share and subscribe for more great content

Channel: undefined

Views: 3,660,062

Rating: 4.5075989 out of 5

Keywords: challenge, funny, funny videos, fun, comedy, humor, vs, versus, best of, 2019, 2020, best of 2019, pennywise, the joker, joker, it, fast food, minecraft, soda, talking, relationship goals, relationship, dating, hypnotized, hypnosis, youtube, harley quinn, laugh, best video, funny video

Id: dYPGQ9lKME8

Length: 157min 20sec (9440 seconds)

Published: Wed Dec 18 2019