Best Friend Tells Me My Future Husband Is No Longer Invited To Her Wedding & She Has 'Valid' Reason

i've been dating my fiance for 10 years and we're expecting a baby which is due in march we'll elope before the baby arrives for legal reasons but we'll do it in january so we'll be able to organize a small party for family and close friends no more than 20 people my best friend and her future husband will be invited though so straight to the point my best friend is getting married in a month she's been with her fiance for a year and they got engaged within six months personally that's too rushed in my opinion but that's her life so if she believes this is the right man this is her decision once they got engaged around april she asked me to be her maid of honor she then told me she plans to have a massive celebration with 200 plus guests vaccination rates are very high in my country and most restrictions are eased since cases are also very low so naturally i assume my fiance would be invited my best friend has known him for 10 years and they're also friendly in addition most of our friends are married so their spouses get an automatic invite so again i assume my fiance would be invited but my bff decided to notify me that he's not invited literally yesterday during a chat we had and i told her about the suit my fiance bought she told me um i never told you x is invited though i asked her what she meant by that she said that only married and long-term couples are invited to the wedding i reminded her i'm engaged to that man we're expecting a kid together and i've been with him for 10 years whilst we're also planning to elope in a few months she objected and said she didn't invite him because she didn't see our relationship as valid if it took us so long to make our relationship legal if we've been waiting 10 years to take the next step then our relationship bond is probably not that strong i told her that that's not her decision to make and she doesn't get to decide whether my relationship is valid or not she insisted on her decision and said i'll not invite him i decide who comes and who doesn't and since i don't think your relationship is as strong as it should be you may break up soon and i don't want an ex existing in my wedding pictures so accept it or leave i'm not in a mood to deal with that drama i told her she was being ridiculous assuming that we might break up based on her bizarre beliefs and reminded her i've been with that man for 10 years while she's been with her man for less than one year and she's ridiculous for thinking she can dictate who serious new isn't i told her i was dropping the maid of honor roll because i refused to be disrespected like that and told her she could search for someone new to torture but not me our mutual friends have told me i'm the idiot for dropping out of the wedding and how i should respect the bride's decision i respect it but i won't be part of it am i the idiot not the idiot holy smokes that's a bridezilla and a terrible friend like seriously who does that to your supposedly best friend honestly after that kind of disrespect i'm surprised you're still going to the wedding at least she showed you how little she respects you your fiance and your relationship in general before you sunk even more time and money into this friendship so girl bye is what i tell her not the idiot she sounds like an idiot who may have a personal issue with your fiance she has the right to her opinion and you have the right to yours however she can't expect you to accept the stupid excuse that after 10 plus years of commitment her piece of paper validates her relationship more than yours agree this story isn't even about being a maid of honor anymore this is someone who point blank singled out op's relationship judged it as not being valid and said she thought their marriage family would fail despite 10 years an engagement and a child this bride is weaponizing her own wedding as an excuse to insult and openly pass judgment on her friends a wedding isn't an excuse to mistreat others and there are consequences for being horrible to friends and family while planning your big day party she doesn't have a problem with the fiance but insists that moving slowly means a bad relationship because she feels like she's rushing hers so she's trying to establish this insane precedent that the faster you move the stronger your bond i think some engagement rings have lead in them and poison people's minds so opie she is delusional and check with her friends what version she told them i 27 male inherited a house from my parents after their death without consulting my wife i wrote it off in my daughter's toddler name 23. my daughter will get it after she is 21 years old i.e she gets a job that makes her financially independent until then it will be in my guardianship and in case of my death the guardianship will be transferred to her godparent my best friend or my lawyer no one except me my daughter and my lawyer can access the money within it in case of her death my lawyer will be looking into transferring it to someone else the godparent cannot withdraw the money without the explicit permission of one of my siblings as a witness and even with their permission it has to be used entirely for my child's immediate needs only in addition i have multiple witnesses on the agreement contract so it's an extremely lengthy process to take out money if you don't have a legitimate reason concerning my child my wife says i should have thought of her first instead of my daughter's godparent i told her that inheritance is not marital property and i didn't require consulting her about my inheritance we had a prenup stating that inheritances are not marital property she used her entire inheritance the way she deemed fit and i want the same with my money so am i the idiot here you are the idiot not because of what you wanted to do regarding the house but because talking to your wife is not about asking permission but as working as a team to build a life together communication is key and you just prove to your wife that her opinions and feelings on the matter are so insignificant you didn't even bother to tell her it's worse than that he doesn't trust that she will care for his daughter at all she is not someone whom he thinks can be trusted to keep his daughter's best interest at heart so why are they married then it seems that's what's bothering his wife too not the arrangement but that he thought the godparent should be taking care of the girl before the bio-mom she is the mother of that baby this behavior is insane to me you are the idiot she's right you should just not make these big decisions without first talking to your wife you are married you just don't do these things without a conversation that is her child too and she deserved input what she said about you trusting her is 100 correct so why do you trust the godparent over your wife it sounds to me like you don't know the meaning of a partnership this is directly related to her child she deserves to have a say i had to read a couple of times before i could understand why you would take this bizarre decision i mean you keep claiming you want your daughter's future to be secure and in case you die your marital contract with your wife will end and all the other endless nonsense that you want to give to everyone the answer lies here you wrote she did what she wanted with her inheritance you're bitter that she didn't consult you and came up with this whole facade to get back at her because who in the world thinks that a godparent cares more about a kid than their mother who trusts a godparent to care about a kid more than their mother especially because you never provided any hints that she's ever been abusive you not only wanted to do this without discussing it with her but you also want it to hurt her so badly that even after your death she isn't responsible for your inheritance because she didn't consult you when she had hers you may have intended the property to go to your kid all along but every decision you took was not with your kids best interests at the heart of it instead every decision you make was part of a carefully thought out revenge plan to get back at your wife for doing what she wanted with her inheritance if this kind of score keeping is what your marriage is about please end it it's not doing anybody any good you are the idiopy i'm a father of two natalie 24 and jonathan nearly adult jonathan had mobility issues throughout his childhood and it got worse as he grew up he became a full-time wheelchair user two years ago after a serious accident that left him in a worse state than he was before natalie moved out for college at the age of 18 and then moved in with her now boyfriend now i need to mention that because natalie is my oldest she had the bigger room in the house jonathan had the smaller room which was fine by him but now it's different with the major changes in his life and needing a wheelchair to move around i've considered moving him into natalie's old room that she hasn't used in years i first called her to let her know and she gave me the green light to go ahead and do what's best for her brother and make his life easier so i renovated it and added things to it to accommodate jonathan's needs and it costs money remember that was almost two years ago a few days ago natalie called me saying she'd had a huge fight with her now ex after she caught him with someone and was staying at the hotel we talked a little and she asked me to empty her bedroom and move jonathan back to his old room because she wanted hers back and said it would be cool if her mom and i prepared for it when she moves in with us i was completely taken aback i said i couldn't move jonathan out since he needed the room i explained he needed the space to move freely but she said it's her room no matter how many years away from home i called her unreasonable and reminded her that she said i could give the room to jonathan but she said she wanted it and expects to have it back now we went back and forth on this issue and i refused to give it back to her she threw a fit saying i should support her and give her shelter in this hard time and i replied i know she's struggling and she's welcome to come but the room was off limits she got more upset saying i favored jonathan over her and got my wife feeling guilty saying she would be staying at the hotel till we told her her room was ready for her which i declined to do and said she could stay there then this morning i found out my wife's been sending her money to pay for her hotel stay and she's been telling the family i'm keeping her out of the house in my defense i told them natalie wants the room but jonathan needs it and i already spent money to renovate it not the idiom what is wrong with your wife too she's throwing you under the bus because you want your son to live comfortably your daughter and wife need a serious reality check or heart check make sure they still have them not the idiot at all natalie moved out and the room reverted from being her room to being a room in your house which you gifted to your son she has no rights to that room it's now jonathan's room natalie's quality of life will not decrease significantly by moving into a smaller room but jonathan's will it's not just john doesn't like the room he can't move in it wheelchairs are big when you have desks beds and other items you can't get around much not the idiot the way she's acting is unbelievable quite frankly if you'd modified that room into a gym or something and offered her the smaller room that would still be fine because it's your house and you're allowed to do that the fact that she wants you to kick your disabled son out of his handicap accessible room is crap she has a very entitled attitude towards your home she's an adult who moved out and moved on if she doesn't like it she's free to move into an apartment that makes her perfectly happy yep but fight back opie don't let them pull the extended family into this without telling the full story text or email the entire family including your wife and daughter that your daughter is always welcome back home in your guest room explain that you asked and she gave up her room so that jonathan could have full access explain that you spent money renovating it explained that jonathan's older room is not big enough for his wheelchair and what happens when she decides to move out again this is not a permanent solution dislocating the sun for a month or two until she leaves is ridiculous i 40 female have a sister 42 who has a daughter young teen she was recently diagnosed with cancer it's some kind of bone cancer not entirely sure which and thankfully they were able to catch it early and with treatment she will most likely live she had a chemo day today and my sister her mother had me pick her up as she was busy i believe i don't mind and even consented to be able to pick her up almost any time if my sister informs the hospital beforehand as my job is flexible so i arrived and then picked her up she was fine just looked like she was a little out of it most likely from pain and looked incredibly tired we made small talk and then she started checking something on her phone she started tearing up so i asked her what was wrong she said she got a b in math and a c plus in english and midterms were being sent home i said that with what she's going through that's pretty good and asked her how her other subjects were going she said they're all a's and i said c you're doing great she said that her mom would be mad at her i said that she probably would understand and she said that she would still be mad i said that i would try to talk to her i drop her off and the moment we step in she starts screaming about the grades saying things like do you want to be a failure are you even trying stop being lazy and start studying more i was angry and told her she was ridiculous she said that she wanted her daughter to do better i said that she has cancer and should be happy that her daughter is doing well with that she told me to get out of her house and i realized i had no power or leverage here and left i tried calling her but she told me to shut up and mind my own business and told me i was horrible for being so rude to her i'm starting to think she's right because i could have been calm and spoken to her about why i disagree with her am i the idiot not the idiot but your sister sure is usually i side against people trying to butt into other people's parenting but holy smokes when i fell egregiously ill as a freshman in high school i was so thankful to have all my teachers and my parents supporting me in balancing school and health it helped me to succeed so i cannot imagine the stress your poor niece is going through your sister is clearly in the wrong for being so degrading as far as i know most kids who have cancer can't keep up with school at all and often have to repeat specific courses or even the entire year chemo is no joke adults can't handle working while doing chemo so why should a child be expected to maybe don't annoy your sister so much that she might block your contact with your niece the little girl could probably use a fun and supportive aunt in her life op your sister has lost her ability to be compassionate or feel empathy in this situation and that's just so sad it's also worrying that your niece began crying when she saw the grades it makes me wonder how severe your sister's punishments are it might have been best to approach her more calmly but at that moment your outrage was clearly justified not the idiot you keep fighting for your niece she's lucky to have you around well i 33 female have been waiting seven years for a baby i've had six heartbreaking losses and a lot of failed ivf so when i found out i was pregnant this time around i didn't celebrate till i was eight months pregnant for obvious reasons my husband and i said we'd hold a baby shower with a gender reveal as the party game but the only rule was that neither of us would pop the balloons till 8 pm if this isn't obvious we held two different parties one with each of our friends and family but we would meet at my party at 10 p.m you could imagine my shot when a lot of his side especially his mother and sister 25 ended up at my baby shower at first i felt extremely happy and proud that they came everything was going well even his sister who usually makes herself the main character was having a good time that was until it came to find out the gender i know people will have comments about gender reveals being cheesy but since we have everything bought for our babies even the names picked out realistically it was only a game that if you guessed right you'd win a bottle of wine or bath set we don't care about gender we just both wanted the whole pregnancy experience well at 8 pm my sister-in-law comes in with the balloon saying my hubby put mother-in-law in charge of them well okay let's pop those balloons already to move on to the name game the confetti came out rainbow my sister-in-law took center stage and went on a long rant about how we were trash for holding a gender reveal mid-speech i told her to get out and when mother-in-law told me she was right and it was her brother's my husband's home so she had a right to be here i told her to get out too since she probably knew she was going to do this my husband's grandmother started ringing him about the situation and his cousins and aunts started telling them to leave my sister-in-law was in mid-panic attack and my mother-in-law was crying when they left my house my husband arrived about 10 minutes later and his grandmother aunts and cousins told him the situation so my husband just said screw them we are having two beautiful daughters but i'd rather change one of their names to my grannies instead of my mother's his dad and a few family members left after that because they said i was a monster for what i did to sister-in-law when i knew her issues and my husband took it too far with changing the baby's name not the idiot i have my own opinion about gender reveals but the time to display that opinion is not by hijacking someone's party and giving a speech what in the world to destroy your baby shaft for some sick kind of social grandstanding is foul behavior you are not a monster for getting excited about your babies ever of course not the idiots sister-in-law and mother-in-law planned to ruin a happy moment and her horrid actions resulted in her having a panic attack response that's a personal problem i love how enablers can say that the offended party went too far but not the person who went out of their way to be horrible rude and hurtful you ignored that your sister-in-law had a panic attack she wouldn't be having a panic attack if she hadn't done something worthy of being asked to leave don't start none won't be none [Music]

Channel: XO

Views: 123,777

Keywords: reddit, reddit stories, ask reddit, askreddit, reddit woman, reddit real voice, r/aita, r/mil

Id: dBDggxVlBGQ

Length: 17min 58sec (1078 seconds)

Published: Mon Oct 18 2021