My son is a very
big Guillermo fan. Yeah?
Oh, is he really? Yeah.
[INAUDIBLE] Yeah. GUILLERMO: Say hi. Well, you can take him home
for the weekend if you want. - Could we?
- Yeah, sure. Yeah. JIMMY KIMMEL: How
old's your son now? - He is 14.
- 14 now. And you were just
on vacation, right? Yes. Yeah, I went to Hawaii
for a few weeks. JIMMY KIMMEL: Hawaii?
- Yeah. Very nice, very nice. Are you able to relax? You don't seem like
a relaxer to me. I do. I do like to relax. It takes me-- I like to do,
you know, things to chill out. I like to coconut art. Oh, really? Yeah. - You make art out of coconuts?
- No. I don't.
- No? You just--
- It was a joke. JIMMY KIMMEL: It
was a joke, yeah. I don't-- Yeah, but-- I like-- I do.
No, I do. It just takes me a little while. I just got into
tennis a few years ago because I love tennis. I love watching tennis. And I started,
though, late in life. So I'm not very good. JIMMY KIMMEL: When
did you start? Just a few, three
years ago, or-- I started, like,
five or six years ago. And then, of course, I
got an injury in my elbow. So already I was bad, and then
I got an injury in my elbow, which compounded everything. Great, great. But then when
I went to Hawaii, this time I took it up
again because my elbow was feeling better and I was
there with my brother-in-law. And there was this guy I know
on the island, this island dude, who's a friend of
mine, who is a very, you know, like chilled out guy.
And we've played before. And he said, hey,
let's do doubles. So you know I, of course,
immediately went to the tennis pro to train, because-- JIMMY KIMMEL: Did you really? Well, I just wanted to get
some hits in and go with Brian, because Brian's not
very good either. JIMMY KIMMEL: Mm-hmm.
- And I'd never met this guy. He was a good pro. At first, it started out
good because he was just sort of giving us,
you know, basic sort of, you know, follow through,
contact point, back swing. And then it kind of very
quickly turned into, like, a professional coaching session. JIMMY KIMMEL: Oh, really? Which my skills
just don't live up to. So he was like, he
just-- he goes, wait. Wait.
Whoa. You're flatfooted. You're dragging your feet. That's old man tennis.
You want to play old man tennis? And I immediately, like,
kind of get up, no, no. I don't want-- I'm not old. I'm sprightly. I'm sprightly. And then he started,
like you know, giving me just like
these strategies that my skill set just
couldn't live up to. I give you-- you're a
lefty, lefty forehand. Go to my backhand. Punish my backhand. Put me in a corner. Hurt me. Teach me a lesson. Because then I don't
know what to do, because I don't know
what to do with that. And then I'm going
to hit back a little, you know, help me mommy shot,
and then what do you do? You charge the net. And then what do you do? I don't know. What do I do? You put on a hazmat suit
because it's a crime scene and you're about to mop it up. I don't even know what he means. JIMMY KIMMEL: This is
very intense for tennis. It really--
- Yes. And I, of course, have like
hit three balls over the net in the whole thing. JIMMY KIMMEL: Yeah,
because you get worked up. But I also like the idea that
you are having a friendly match with a chill dude on the
island and you decide you need to take lessons for it. Yes. And it really didn't work.
JIMMY KIMMEL: It didn't work. Yeah.
No, it never works. No. You can't really
learn in a quick-- We were destroyed.
JIMMY KIMMEL: Yeah. Oh, you were? Yeah, and they were,
like, wearing flip-flops. JIMMY KIMMEL: Oh. That's when you know
you're in trouble. But there was
just this sort of, like, laid back,
like shaka thing, but it was very competitive. But like, we're drinking it
back and forth like we're in the US open or something. JIMMY KIMMEL: Were you all
ready to go, like all geared up? Yeah, I was. And you know, the thing
is when it's doubles, also, you turn on your partner. JIMMY KIMMEL: Yes. Right? Because we're both not good. But then when I finally,
like, get one over the net, and then it comes back and then
he doesn't get it over the net, I'm looking at him like
what is your problem? He's actually erased
your accomplishment. And then I go
back to, you know, the training that
our pro gave us. And I'm like, all right, look.
You're going to play up. I'm going to play back. And then we're going
to break their spirit. JIMMY KIMMEL: Uh-huh. I have no idea how
we're going to do that. JIMMY KIMMEL: You didn't
break their spirit. Yeah. And were they-- well I guess,
were you good sports about it? Yes.
They're nice guys. You know, one of
them's a fisherman. He offered me an ahi. He caught a 150-pound ahi. And I'm like I couldn't
take it because I still-- I was so roiled up
from the whole thing. JIMMY KIMMEL: Really? I was like, I
don't want your ahi. I want to win. You rejected his fish. Well, in Hawaii, that could
get you thrown off the island, something like that.
- Yes. I think we're good. So it was not a relaxing
vacation, it sounds like. No, no. It was-- I mean,
the game itself, I left much more tense than
when I started, for sure. JIMMY KIMMEL: You did? OK, well that's great. What else did you do? What do you do in Hawaii? I don't do much. I like to watch
the Tour de France. JIMMY KIMMEL: On television?
- Yeah. Does anybody know
the Tour de France? See, it's a-- OK.
AUDIENCE: Yeah. But it's a very
specific sport. It's a three-week bike
race around France. Yeah, right. They go like, you know,
over like 1,500 miles. It's like running a
marathon every day. And it's basically
five hours of watching men cycle for three weeks. You watch all of it? I do watch all of it, because
if you don't watch all of it-- if you don't watch all of
it, it doesn't mean anything. But if you do watch all of it,
it still means very little. It's very hard to understand. But-- because it's
a very complex race. There are different
competitions within the race. There's the king
in the mountains. There's the green jersey. There's the white jersey. The yellow jersey is
the main competition. And basically these guys
are racing every day. If a guy has a-- like if he has
a flat, that's very exciting. JIMMY KIMMEL: Is it really? Yes, because then the
guy with the bike car comes and they change the flat. And it's kind of like
the opposite of watching a Formula One pit stop. It's the opposite
of that excitement. JIMMY KIMMEL: Yeah. So you're saying-- But if you're into the
race, it's very exciting. And is there a
guy you root for? Yeah. Well I mean, you know, it's
hard because every year there are different--
there are a lot of Belgian and Dutch riders. JIMMY KIMMEL: Right. The guy who won this year,
Egan Bernal, is from Colombia. He's amazing.
Yeah. You liked him?
You were rooting for him? Well, yeah.
It was exciting. It was his first Tour de France. Last year was Geraint Thomas,
who was a great racer. But then, like things happened,
like Wout Poels, you know, he crashed in the time trial. And we were all
broken up about that. Can I ask a personal question? Do you have friends who
watch this with you? I have one friend
who watches it with me. JIMMY KIMMEL: You do?
- Yes. JIMMY KIMMEL: And
the two of you sit there and watch bicycle racing.
- That's right. And we alienate everybody else.
JIMMY KIMMEL: For three weeks? Yes. My children look
at me like, when is the Tour de France over? JIMMY KIMMEL: They
must-- your children must hate the Tour de France.
- They hate the Tour de France. And do you say Tour de
France or Tour de "Frahns"? Isn't that the way you're
supposed to say it? I say Tour de France. But I also say "ack-wa"
instead of "ahq-wa." OK, all right. Well-- - Is that weird?
- You-- well, it is. Yeah, but-- But aqua is actually
pronounced "ack-wa." In France? And America, too. Is it really? Yes. I looked it up. So Aquaman, for
instance, is "Ack-wa-man." For me, it's "Ack-wa-man."
Yeah. JIMMY KIMMEL: He is? What about Aqua Velva,
the cologne everyone wore in the '70s? I-- that's Aqua Velva. JIMMY KIMMEL: That's Aqua Velva. That is Aqua Velva, yeah,
because I knew it as Aqua Velva as a child.
- We've learned a lot. I think what we've learned
more than anything is never to go on vacation with you. Ben Stiller is here. His great series, "Escape
at Dannemora" is-- well, we'll show you a
clip from that next. We'll be right back. Did you know that
out in nature, there are no right angles? But in here, it's
all right angles. It's an engineered environment-- bars up, bars down, bars across. And the people inside? They need to be
right angles, too. What the [BLEEP]
are you talking about? And there are the
angles I get bent. That is "Escape
from Dannemora." Benicio del Toro and Patricia
Arquette, we saw in that clip. Paul Dano is another
main-- boy, this is-- I love this series. Thanks. I was so bummed knowing
it was going to end and that we weren't
going to get another. It's like it was
canceled in advance. Yes.
Well, they got caught. So-- JIMMY KIMMEL: Yeah,
they got caught. So yeah. I knew-- we knew
it had an ending. And that's kind of
what I liked about it, that it was sort of like
this amazingly finite story. And you know, it all happened
over the course of six months where they started this
attempt and they created this relationship
with Tilly, who is Patricia Arquette's character. JIMMY KIMMEL: She worked
in the prison for-- Yeah, and she had physical
relations with both of them. And they got her to
help them escape. JIMMY KIMMEL: Yeah. And do you know
who also was great, and I don't feel that
got enough credit, was Bonnie Hunt in this series? She was fantastic.
- She's amazing. Yeah.
- Yeah. Yeah. And you got 12 Emmy
nominations, which is a-- did the guys who
beat you in tennis know you got 12 Emmy
nominations for this? Oh, yeah. And they really cared. JIMMY KIMMEL: Sure. You won the DGA Award for Best
Director, which is, you know, that's from the other directors. Yeah. Do you like not having
to act in something? Yes. I mean, to direct--
because everything I've directed up till
now, I've been in. And it was such a relief
not to have to deal with me. You know what I mean? JIMMY KIMMEL: Well, it must
make it so much harder. Well, when you go to
edit, you have to, you know, look at yourself, which is
just, you know, it's painful. So I-- I was really
excited to be able to work with these actors. You know, I've known
Patricia for a long time. We did a movie like
20-something years ago, "Flirting With Disaster." And Benicio, you know, we used
to go up on all the same roles together. JIMMY KIMMEL: Yeah
you were always-- I always thought of you as
a Benicio del Toro type. But you know? But they're just
such good actors. And the story was
so interesting. And-- JIMMY KIMMEL: Oh, it was
so much fun to watch. It really was. It was a great story, but
you executed it beautifully. Well, thanks. I mean, it's a really-- to me, what's
interesting about it is it's about human relationships. I mean, this is a real
prison escape that happened, but it happened because
people were connecting with each other in a way that
the prison couldn't stop, you know?
JIMMY KIMMEL: Yeah. You know who else was great? The husband, Patricia
Arquette's husband in it? - Yes, Eric Lange.
- Oh, boy. Great actor, yeah. Yeah, he was funny
and great in that role. Yes. And then very, you know, very
spot on of the, you know, the real guy. JIMMY KIMMEL: You have another. There's a documentary on
YouTube about a band you were in when you were how old? I was like 14, 15, 16. JIMMY KIMMEL: Punk rock band. Well, sort of. We were like a wannabe, like,
sort of post-punk band that never really played live ever. JIMMY KIMMEL: Mm-hmm.
If-- - But we recorded an album.
- You recorded an album. Yes. And I think a
lot of people did this, but not too many people. It's called-- the band's
Capital Punishment. BEN STILLER: Yes,
very high-- yeah. And this, you can
find this on YouTube. All the guys in the band went
on to become successful people in other fields. Yes, Peter Swann,
who is our bass player, is the Chief Justice on the
Arizona State Court of Appeals. JIMMY KIMMEL: Right. And Peter Zusi is a
professor of Czech literature at London College. And Chris, who formed the
band, is a futures trader. And you know, we-- our parents funded
the album, kindly. And then we got back
together and played together just for fun, really. Who did the logo here? BEN STILLER: That was--
that was all of us. Yeah. And we took these down on 42nd
Street, one of those, you know, arcades.
JIMMY KIMMEL: Oh, really? BEN STILLER: Yeah, that's me. JIMMY KIMMEL: Yeah. Sure, I'd recognize
you anywhere. BEN STILLER: Yes. You-- I do want to
show something and I want to ask you about it,
because there was a video posted to Instagram. You did not post this
video to Instagram. I don't know who posted
this video to Instagram. But you're on the
subway in New York. Right. And-- well, roll this video
here, because this woman-- Oh my god! JIMMY KIMMEL: --got excited
to see you on the subway, so excited, in
fact, that she took the curlers out of her hair. And you don't know
where she's going to stop either, by the way. BEN STILLER: Yeah, exactly. JIMMY KIMMEL: Like
a Van Halen video. BEN STILLER: Yes. [INAUDIBLE] I
love you so much. [INAUDIBLE] Oh my god. JIMMY KIMMEL: Then
everyone got in the act. BEN STILLER: Yes. [INAUDIBLE] video
for me, and he take it. [LAUGHS] Right. So-- You were very nice. I-- yeah, it was such
a strange experience because I had the
same feeling as you, like what is the end game here? Where is this headed? Because things just
kept coming off. And then the other
thing is that there an entire train full of people
who are not reacting that way. So it's a little-- you feel
a little self-conscious because everyone's looking at
her like, what's her problem? What is she-- who is that
guy she's looking at? And then the next time that I
went on the train, of course, I was really let down, that
nothing happened whatsoever. JIMMY KIMMEL: Oh yeah, right.
- I had makeup. I was-- Well, it's very
good to see you. You, too, man. "Escape to Dannemora--" if
you haven't seen it, watch it. It's on Showtime. It is streaming now. 12 Emmys for Ben
Stiller, everybody. We'll be right back
with Robin Thede.
