Being Worthy of Your Miracles | Tate Clifford | TEDxUAlberta

[Music] what are the things in our lives that we identify as Miracles often they are the things that happened to us that we didn't control but we see as the greatest Gifts of Our Lives the gifts we each are given that change our lives and often Define them we know what Miracles are I'm sure each of you can name and define the ones that have shaped your own lives but we also know what it feels like to be a misfit you feel like you don't fit in don't belong with the people around you but that you aren't fit for or worthy of the role that you fill this feeling can break our connection with others and break our connection with ourselves when we can't connect with our ourselves we struggle to know who we are and to find where we belong the struggle for belonging is the greatest internal battle we each face in finding our identity feeling love and creating meaning in our lives but how do these two things Miracles and misfits connect it seems as though the idea of a miracle should counteract the feeling of being a misfit if the Miracles in our lives seem to provide meaning can they ever make us question our belonging how do you deal with the conflict when these two overlap so much of the internal experience of Our Lives depends upon the narrative we choose to give ourselves your interpretation of the events Direction and purpose of your life greatly affects the way you experience it it is easier to deal with the weight when we are talking about the parts of our stories that we control the things are under your power but how are we supposed to deal with the parts of our lives that are given to us that we inherit or happen to us by chance so much of what we hear today tells us how to deal with the obstacles we face in life to be grateful in spite of the suffering that life brings forward word now the efforts of these lessons teach us how to deal with life's difficulties but how are we supposed to deal with its gifts what do we owe the world for the lives that we've been given and how do you live in a way that makes you worthy of these Miracles the word miracle has always been used when my family has spoken about my own life from a young age I was always told how my life was a miracle and how amazing of a mother I had now this I can say undoubtedly is the truth she is and shall forever remain my hero early on in her pregnancy with me my mother found out that she had cancer doctors recommended terminating the pregnancy and starting treatment immediately despite knowing the consequences it could have on her own life my mother decided to continue the pregnancy and postpone her treatment months later I was born 8 weeks premature and my mother started her cancer treatment today we are both grateful to be alive alive and well I suffered no ill effects from my premature birth and my mother has been cancer-free for almost 20 years now the outcome of that story is nothing short of a miracle and something I can be grateful for every day of my life however growing up understanding the conditions of my birth and the unlikelihood of my own existence was very difficult I felt an immense pressure to live in a way that was worthy of the love and the sacrifice that gave me my life this pressure developed in me a kind of anxiety towards all aspects of my life and due to this anxiety I grew up with an immense fear of my mother who is not at all scary but I can now recognize that as having been an unhealthy fear of disappointing her so I grew up with this fear of disappointing her but as a child I could only point to it as a fear of her so this great gift distanced me from the person who gave it to me I entered a world where I was shown nothing but love but didn't feel worthy of any of it I'm not sure when I began to feel this way but as a child I had no idea what any of it meant what is a miracle what is cancer what does it mean to be a miracle child I'm not sure when the magnitude of this story began to affect me but one day it did from then on I gradually developed a greater and greater disconnect from others and from myself I developed a sort of perfectionist mentality where I viewed each action in my life as wholly either right or wrong as if the determination of my self-worth was repeatedly hung upon the outcome of a singular act each action I took I did did something that I thought I should do what is it that I should do that would best make me worthy of this life it felt as though if I did anything wrong then it wasn't worth it I'm not worthy I'm not worthy of this life over many years I found myself living a life that I didn't feel a part of I was playing college baseball I was in university I thought thought this was my dream was it the dream I set for myself or the dreams that others had set for me I began to feel like a stranger to myself and a stranger to others I felt like a fraud in my own life the loneliest feeling was being surrounded by the people I loved the people that loved me by feeling nothing but apathy I began to feel a greater to Greater disconnect from myself and from my from others I felt like a fraud in my own life the days dragged da I find myself in a depression stemming from a deep rooted sense of failure holistic and complete not of failing a single act but the single act living how do you tell the people or the person that gave you this gift how difficult it was growing up with an understanding of it all does it feel fair to say that this great gift of a miracle life somehow harmed me how can the feeling a being a misfit be valid when you are a miracle reflecting upon understanding and sharing my experience has been the greatest challenge of my life it took me a long time to understand that I didn't have to feel this way I can easily describe the central Story of My Life As feeling like a misfit within my own miracle and in dealing with this problem throughout my life what I've learned is that you can't you can't live in a specific way that shows you are worthy of this life you can't live in a perfect way that shows all the sacrifices of others worth are worth it and you are worthy of this Miracle of Life Perfection is the unattainable standard as you try to reach never receding Horizon it's not an attainable thing you'll never reach it but it's the striving that matters not a striving to be perfect but striving to get the most out of life your life the Miracle of Life wasn't attached to a prophecy for you for me or for any of us there was nothing expect of us of us only that we may be grateful for our lives each day I didn't have to feel like I wasn't living up to be be the perfect version of the miracle child I was worthy of my life through my gratitude and my living of it my way no matter the gifts you've been given it is possible to feel a lack of belonging when you're living the life that you thought you wanted or that other people thought that you wanted when any of us are given this life is not your duty to fulfill the dreams of others to complete the story that you're a part of your past may be determined but your future isn't and you choose how the whole story is told this was about my story but the gift of life is one we've all received we are all miracles however in being given this miracle it comes with a responsibility and that responsibility is that we give back however the beauty of this responsibility is that you get to choose how you give but just remember that the greatest gift you can give is you thank you

Channel: TEDx Talks

Views: 833

Keywords: Acceptance, Change, English, Happiness, Life, TEDxTalks, [TEDxEID:53854]

Id: sknbE0uSSsA

Length: 9min 13sec (553 seconds)

Published: Fri Jan 26 2024