Being ugly : His Experience

I've never seen you this upside but I cannot even understand their voices crap yes because I cannot even understand that someone with my entire life I've been treated quite bad I should also say like this is a warning and my English is not that good and I just I feel I feel really alone and I felt like I was gonna search YouTube for people with the same issue as me and that is being really unattractive and I've been having lots of issues with that because every video I come across is with a really attractive or normal person and they have no idea how how it really is I was around 13 when I got my first serious friends they were I was 13 12 to 13 and they were like 16 to 18 beautiful alpha males and like they were the first ones to start calling me ugly and that was quite a shady neighborhood so it's like and they were with my they were with me cuz my mom gave them cigarettes and stuff so they were like my guardian sorta and they were the first people to call me ugly my man's from a tough country yeah listen my bad God blesses God bless his heart they were friends with me because my mom gave him that is trailer-trash nauseous Eastern Bloc there's not trailer-trash it all got trailers out there it's a different life yeah that's just the Eastern Bloc I could see a couple of countries where that's a reality interesting I when I was 15 I realized that I wanted to have love in my life I was I was 15 years when I realized I wanted that and like the amount of people that rejected me is astonishing it's there's unexplainable it's not astonishing people base himself on looks there's a story I told you like have you ever seen a girl say to a guy in the bar ill that's that kind of guy I've seen that habit I've paid so many drinks to so many guys like that I was just trying to get some and that's fair everybody wants some maybe it's not astonishing to you but the people who don't know there's the reality exists yeah probably is astonishing yeah I know it does I've dealt with the first hand like when he was talking about not being desired at all in early school that's me ELISA I didn't get sometimes 18 and what I did very awkward circumstances but I had nobody paying me no mind and I'm a decent looking guy today but trust me I was hella dusty most my life yeah and I mean extra dusty I see the picture yes very dusty so I may not be on his level the same way he may not be on other people's level but I do understand it we're not in different categories we're just in different degrees beautiful people are in a different category yeah absolutely even I was in that category because there was a point that what it was not cool being black sure but not been having a girl yeah yeah but I'm even talking about before that there was some point that it was not cool being black know I'm pushing 40 bro when I was in elementary school it was not cool being black let alone being Haitian hmm so there was all types of evil I'm not even talking I'm talking about pre my girl oh my girl hmm just when you just start to interact with girls and stuff like that it was not that cool right so yeah what he's talking about I couldn't relate to what people were not chasing me and I was worried there's something wrong with me yeah thing that was wrong with me as I was black hmm I'm not saying there's something wrong with being with that but at the time hmm that was not the standard hmm I think the total sum from when I was 15 to 17 was well over four five hundred girls that I wrote with that I tried to get into a relationship with well I think that back that's astonishing that's a lot of attempts a lot of women that's a lot of people I don't even think I rose people my life Scott must have been walking was just stopping everyone he saw that's a lot of women to probe to brother laughing but when you're desperate maybe he's like messaging him online as well so he's going that that's still a lot less options that you have you just trying to shoot your shot rough I understand that I've done that this is a lot in at that age especially when your egos that fragile to be that persistent you took a lot of elf that's all you say to l equals a win I'm sitting about 2,000 so I set up like I tried to write with told with girls and I wrote with girls that were overweight that didn't look so good some of them had a big nose like me some had big lips so this guy was doing it all online okay so that makes a little more sense I think he was messaging a whole bunch of people online trying everything so I mean online you're gonna take a lot more losses than you will in person that's a fact he wasn't approaching people in person he was writing them online which already is the one of the worst ways you can approach people if you're unattractive and you ugly trust me me my online game is okay all right in person I do way better online game is okay meaning if I was to approach a girl online my odds of success are way lower than if I was to do it in person best effect okay online you're looking at pictures that's all you got first off men are not good at taking pictures No compared to women women got that [ __ ] dumped and go look at men's Instagram women's Instagram night and day all right second thing is that's all they have to go off if you are a man there are other qualities that they will find endearing whether it's your skill yeah whether it's your charm whether it's your ability to carry conversations in person online conversations are there different it's hard to really get a personality across man so him having this lack of success is going to be not surprising to me because he's using the medium that is least conducive to his success right right some had shorter hair I even wrote with about I think it was like free free girls that were handicapped this man really just said even the wheel chair said nah I'm like yo girl let me roll you around this block she's like now let me get a cute funny listen it's not surprising because here's the truth ugly dude should not be involved in the online game it's like a 5-2 athlete trying to get into the NBA bro you got better chances out of love other sports the NBA is not for you it's not so go to a sport where height is not a problem and you can you really showcase your athletic strengths let me tell you this if you're ugly go out there and every single one called me ugly every single one and after two years I gave up I gave up totally and when I gave up I started to care more about writing with people who had it difficult or sad and like or didn't have it easy and that's when I first met the first girl in my life that wanted to be with me and I spent seven years with that girl and I regret it very much I respect him even in his desperate state he's like man I should have dumped them here's two things one he was doing this when he was 15 to 17 let me tell you that is the worst time as a man to be approaching people if you're unattractive trust me my most of my elves are happen in my early adult life it is the most difficult time to approach and try to meet people and it will scar you forever because one your personalities not that well developed yet so if you your you're probably not charming you're gonna learn those skills later on as you grow older you have no money you have no equity women are only looking at looks and popularity most people will tell you like a lot of people are late bloomers right they're terrible pre highschool pre-university and then afterwards it gets better and the reason for being is like you come into your own you start to bring other things to the table other than your looks and your partner's start to look for things in their partners other than their looks so or not necessarily other than but they won't be the only priority that they're looking at does that make sense writing with people who had it difficult or sad and like I didn't have it easy what he's doing afterwards is that he's surrounding himself with people who are probably in a toxic mind state who are suffering from the same problems and so it becomes a perpetual single where you only hear negative feedback from people who suffer like you spiraling down right if you're an addict and you're recovering and you spend time with addicts you're more likely to relapse it's the reality of these things so your circle will affect the way that your mindset progresses that was a girl that treated me so badly and was just using me she did every she called me ugly she forced me to walk five to ten meters behind her she'd never hold my hand she never kissed me all right no let me take a second okay all right this is what happens when a bad person with low self-esteem meet somebody with lower self-esteem what she did is bad the fact that he accepted it is worse but he accepted it because the self-esteem was that low that he thought that this is what he deserved in a weird way seven years I mean listen when your self-esteem is there it's not surprising because people who stay with partners who beat them every day yeah and they die with those partners yeah so it's all about how you view something what you think you deserve how you value yourself exactly yes she never did anything to show appreciation of me she just simply used me and it was not a good relationship she never cared about me she was always angry aggressive and for the first hole fear she didn't really want to be in an actual relationship with me she just wanted to be with me we had sex and we had fun I guess I'm glad he at least got something out of it I was worried to say I had to stand by the bed while she banged somebody else out of it like all right listen idubbbz calm down but here's what does make me optimistic this man is very self-reflective and he's able to speak on his past relationships honestly and candidly and see it for what they were which tells me that he's really been able to move past it and that gives me optimism sometimes you hear people reflect on past relationships that were terrible and they speak about it with fondness and that's always a red flag to me because I'm like oh you're gonna fall into that again you know out of you're bad at it no exactly so that's what keeps me optimistic about his outlook even though this is a sad story or for 3-4 years then I moved and she didn't move with me she was like it's not worth it if you move it's over so it was over then she started calling me and being like you should take me back because you are unlovable I remember those words so clearly you are unlovable I take back what I said earlier this is what happens when a truly terrible and despicable person with low self-esteem meet somebody with lower self-esteem unlovable you don't even know what love is for you to utter those words you are incapable of such emotion what my favorite go ahead what rate you there are two things I'm thinking right now one is that I thought I I would understand a lot of this guy's experiences because of my being raised in my issues with self-esteem and how I've always looked now because this is so outlandish to both of us maybe we don't understand no we don't and maybe we're in a different category maybe we didn't realize it we're in the mid categories or maybe is that maybe he just latched on to a really bad apple cuz I know attractive people who've been with why have you laughs that that is my thing I know attractive people who date someone who does things to them that I think is completely outlandish so I don't think it's necessarily about him being that unattractive and this happens to ugly people I think this is just a low self-esteem thing which can be it's much more prolific people who are ugly but I honestly believe I'm just free-balling here cuz this is crazy to me but again I think I see attractive people with relationships that are crazy as well the reality is that if you are more attractive the odds of you having higher self-esteem are probably raised due to the fact that you're probably gonna receive more positive feedback because our self-esteem to some degree is informed by how our community views us and if you're ugly and you're constantly getting reinforcement from people that like yo you're terrible blah blah blah get away from me you're unlovable you're much more likely to have lower self-esteem whereas a pretty person receiving positive reinforcement all the time is more likely to have higher self-esteem yeah I would assume that's the worst thing I ever felt and I was like screw this that's the first time I started writing again with New Year's it it had been three years or almost four I had lost weight I had started exercising more I was a bit stronger things were a little bit easier and I started writing with new people in my area I managed to find a girl there by that time I met her we were just friends it was chill she was actually a terrible human being [Laughter] [Music] [Laughter] the way he candidly said that no hesitation I like this guy he's good he's funny here we go sorta got really annoyed of being alone and my ex wanted to come and visit me the girl I was with for all those years that treated me so bad and I was so weak so I said okay and I spent another free or it was about four years I've spent seven in total we first so it was about three more years with her and those here sort of improved quite a lot there were a lot better than the first four years so it wasn't that bad you wanna know I was better cuz your self-esteem was better and what you were willing to tolerate was probably better because you had some hope and you probably were a little bit more student who you were when it comes to relationships what I do if you set your boundaries accordingly people tend to respect him and that doesn't mean just telling people which you want except that means that when they cross those boundaries there are repercussions not in the sense that you're gonna hit them but you will leave they need to understand that there are things that you will not accept in order for this relation to work that's it but it didn't work out because I was so unhappy I was extremely unhappy I felt like we had nothing in common she was always angry moping complaining and she didn't feel good and I didn't feel good we were just tearing each other down I couldn't forget all all the things in the past and like we had nothing in common except just being angry on each other so we broke up and with that was about five months ago now and I move past everything quite easily didn't I tell you that earlier that this man moved on last five months he was impressive for a seven-year relationship the Batman he Polly moved on well into the three-year period he'd already moved past that he just hadn't broken up yet yeah it was just you two I can tell you a few things that I've been through I've met people that are extremely had girls that are extremely overweight and don't look well as well as well and they tell me you're not my type you're way too ugly or them they make up an excuse you know this is like you know this is like I think what he's describing is like when a homeless person goes up to another homeless person like hey can I sit beside you and like it'll get away from you you're homeless and what you're like that's how he views it the problem is the homeless person he approach does not think that they're homeless like him now I'm not that type of homeless I'm just trying to explain the perspective of the other person when they're saying that kind of stuff because people can be overweight and you can view them as on your level doesn't mean that they view themselves that way because your attractiveness level to yourself is based off how you view yourself you think they're ugly does that ask you me I'm fat not ugly yeah thank you yeah I'm not saying you're wrong I'm just saying that's how they view themselves which makes your perspective in regards to you being treated unfairly wrong does that make sense because you're expecting us a response from them based off what you perceive about them right the problem is they don't perceive themselves the way you perceive them yeah and they're justified in that so for you to be mad or upset about their response as a result to me is a little strange because the same way I'm not entitled to tell you how you should perceive yourself you're not entitled to tell others how they should perceive themselves when you approach them makes sense makes perfect sense and then there was this time when I had a date with a girl and I had spent lots of money on making a perfect day together like I had setup everything perfectly and I went on the subway over an hour and I stood on the train here on the train station and I looked for her for two hours before I was like okay she gave up I knew it I know a man I knew that stood up and then I went home and she wrote that when she saw me I was so ugly she didn't have the encouragement to talk to me I haven't been able to live a normal life because my friends were commenting on me not looking good my family's been commenting on it everyone's always pointing it out and I get so frustrated you need better friends you need better friends I don't know what else to tell you listen I have friends who are ugly one thing I do not tell them is that they're ugly I don't reinforce that I don't say that kind of stuff for people to constantly say that to you casually as if it's okay that says a lot about them that's that's an ugly comment to make I would not think listen maybe it's just my environment I don't know what it is but those kind of comments would never fly so the idea that all these people are saying this and it's a result of you being ugly know all these people are saying this because the people that are surrounding you aren't the best people same goes for your family family is rare all right they're constantly putting down yourself esteem all the time that's not a good sign and it should be something you look into in terms of leaving that area if you have to you know it's not because everyone around you puts their hands on you or beat you up that people like that everywhere or it's because of your race or whatever no it could just be that your environment your immediate surroundings are just bad it's toxic you know when you meet one friend who's bad and then you meet friends through that friend there's more likelihood of that friend having bad friends is very high but trust me there are better people out there for you it's like tinder but it's called Patou it's like tinder pretty much where I automatically love every person no matter who it's like a special algorithm for a program that I made so that I click a button and it likes 600 people every day which was double limit and it's I've done that for over ten days so that's I know easily it's over 6,000 people that I have liked on that side like like and wants to write with and I just want to make a note what he said about the six hundred likes today I know he's done that I'm like when I use tinder tinder originally they don't know when I use tender originally I had this thing called the tinder Auto licker bro tinder and it's back in the day because fire flame flamethrower yoga flame thousand Street Fighter nice hot scorching all day all day bro listen I would hit one but it was just like I would clear out the city within three days three days I would clear on it be like there's no one left to like yeah you know what that's like in a major city there's no one left to like and then I would have this ability to change my location so if I knew I was going somewhere I was like boom so when I would travel up like a girl you know I'm saying just have a place to stay when I when you broke and you want to travel tinder auto lacquer beast but it exists no more no they find ways to cap everything it's no longer the app it used to be it's pretty much trash I haven't used tinder like three years ago I have the fact that he has no see says with it I could definitely see that hurting but again it's like I said earlier like I have an extremely hard time with online dating it's really as difficult for me so I imagine you who's probably lower on the scale by your own standards and then you're gonna have a harder time - I'm just saying online dating is not built for men who are below average that doesn't mean that you can't find women or that you can't get like you talked about the girl that you met in your city great you would be able to meet more women like that or better if you were talking to them in person or you're engaging in social activities that enable you to meet other people I'll give you an example I've salsa dance okay now I don't meet women through salsa dancing it's not my thing but I know a lot of ugly dudes who do and I mean terrible looking dudes but the fact that they've built up a skill and they know how to talk to women ask them to dance and showcase their skill it makes them endearing to women I'm not saying that you necessarily have to do that but there are activities that you can engage in and get good at that will make you more endearing to the opposite sex you think that happiness right means that he build things to be able to date but he didn't build himself yes I agree with that you know what I mean like he build algorithms I'm gonna hit more people I'm gonna yo you have to what works for ugly people for ugly man whatever it's it's to better yourself I didn't like what you were saying with the salsa dancing somewhere that you have to acquire more skill sets if you just change algorithm change - I'm gonna date change younger I go with more people to date with more people increase the number but you don't add value to who you are it's not it's not gonna do anything you're gonna be the same person you're just gonna shoot more shots here there's evidence of that and his own story because initially when he was with his girl it was terrible yeah and then when he built a little bit more self-esteem and built some distance it did improve that was him raising his own profile yeah so he changed the way things went a little bit better sad when people look away they are like no we don't want to get like you as my friend like and I'm I'm currently in a situation where I'm waiting for plastic surgery because that's the only way and I'm telling you this right now if you're unattractive the only way for you to get a normal life is to work earn money or go to the hospital get psycho psych psychiatric help and if it's a weird severe enough they will give you free surgery or whatever your plastic surgery can only make you marginally better looking it can't make you substantially fix you right so you're gonna come out of this thinking it's gonna fix your problems reality is gonna hit you hard and it's gonna hurt your self-esteem even more you thought this was gonna be a fast fix it doesn't fix the issue and your self-esteem is gonna plummet more let me tell you this these kinds of you know elective surgeries they're not going to fix what you have going on either side it is hard work and it is unfair that some people have to work way harder than others in order to get there but it is your reality specially if you are a guy this is also a gang problem because if you are a girl it doesn't really matter how you look is there so many guests like me or in a similar situation there's so many of us unexplainable amount pure girl you can find these guys here's the thing Woody's misunderstandings that women don't want guys like them because women base a lot of their values on the kind of man they choose and so if you are low quality just the same way it's like you're a girl right you're a girl had you but what did she do she didn't want you to flaunt you to anybody she said to walk five meters behind me why because you didn't fulfill her needs so even though she was desperate and she needed one and she had you she wasn't content because women do not derive their pleasure that way and so to think that just because there's a lot of desperate men that women and ugly women will be fulfilled you're wrong about that and you're misrepresenting what their experience is like because I can assure you there are a lot of ugly women who have it extremely difficult ya know I think the last party was really wrong about that you have to prove you can prove your skills you have to what do you have to talk about well yeah different ways I mean me being an ugly kid when I was a kid it's been an ugly kid the thing that got me out of there comedy comedy made me more appealing you're now gonna be attractive but you're gonna be appealing and then you being appealing is gonna change your self-esteem there's a lot of theme that revolves other promises he has right here that revolves about self-esteem if you change your self-esteem and stuff like that it's gonna get a better view but he's gonna argue that you're one of those guys who looks normal or looks pretty good fair can't understand his no I cannot but it's still the fact that it'll affect that everything that he's trying to change was things around him and not him he was not trying to better himself and that's a fact what Lee whether I'm pretty whether I'm normal it doesn't matter if so it's a recurring thing in what you said and you said it yourself it showed in his speech of what he said that hey as soon as you increase your self-esteem it was better with the other girl wasn't it because there was probably some other [ __ ] that you were not willing to deal with because you were net less enabling her so yeah that's not an argument to me no I get it I was just playing is I understand what you're saying yeah absolutely but yeah I'm just it does get better it can get better but it really comes down to your approach to it and I know for a lot of dudes who haven't gotten there it seems hopeless and for a lot of people who are in the similar situations like this guy's just saying that cuz he kind of lose good he's gotta breath before I had this it was going better for me I think once I got my finances in order I worked hard like you mentioned before I built a couple of skill sets with dance it enabled me to conversating to feel more comfortable in myself and it displayed ambition it displayed some value and so people started to see that in me but it really just came down to effort and it's hard to tell someone that one they don't see the light at the end of the tunnel to tell them to keep digging but it is there if Flavor Flav can make it a lot of other people can make so just just don't give up all right and I know we laughed a little bit we can crack some jokes but just also be sure like we're not mocking you and we're not trying to belittle you we understand it's a real problem but I would just say you don't have to give up so that's pretty much all I got that's it let us know what you guys think in the comments below do you guys agree with the experience maybe you've had a similar experience let's talk about what it's like being ugly [Music] you

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Views: 1,701,727

Rating: 4.9215178 out of 5

Keywords: aba preach, reaction, Never Give Up, being ugly

Id: YeHFM7HNlwA

Length: 30min 54sec (1854 seconds)

Published: Sun Apr 12 2020

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[u/Thrrowawwayacounnt]

Cool! Aba & Preach, I love this channel! Haven't seen this video yet, though.

Thanks for sharing!