BBC Panorama - I Helped My Daughter Die

hello I'm Jeremy Vine and this is panorama the mother accused of killing her bedridden daughter I don't use this room really you know it's just an yeah it's just Lynn's room what happened the night she died about cost one she knocked I went in and I saw the look of determination like she psyched herself you know really I have to do this for ten months our cameras have followed this ordinary mum caught up in extraordinary events whatever the consequences over do it again for a year k guilded l believe she could go to prison for the attempted murder of her own daughter and then last week a court cleared her the judge agreeing that she was just a loving mum trying to do the best for her sick child the cheers of her relatives may have died down but the debate around this case has not if out of love and dedication k helped her own daughter commit suicide should the law take action against her or not this is the home in East Sussex where Kay and her daughter lived now she has only Lin's belong these are clothes petaline chose from catalogs it's the odd thing that I just bought her when I was out but most of them she she chose for when she was better price J lives on memories of the daughter she loved she had quite a strong personality and she was very popular she'd come home from school you know bursting to tell you everything that was going on and happy Joel happy child yeah she loves sailing loved swimming she loved music and down singing if she was interested in everything really and despite everything that's happened I'm imagining you can picture that quite vividly I have very strong pictures of her I see her running because you're a great runner as well you know and striding out and I just catch all the things in my head of when she was able to do all that we were all very active and we all spent a lot of time outside we spent a lot of time on the beach here and it was really the time before Ling got ill where we were very happy and we did normal family stuff living by the sea a loving and healthy family kay the auxilary nurse has been Richard a policeman no clue from what was about to happen he used to sit on the beach here and look at Lynn and her brother enjoying themselves and thinking how lucky we were to have such fit and healthy children it's very difficult to describe how I feel now I look around and em I'm gonna see her everywhere really yeah it was where she was free free and before she knew what pain was and hospitals in sickness Lynn was 14 when everything changed at the start of it was so mundane it was a call from the school to go and collect her that afternoon she wasn't very well tried to send it back again the next day she's sent home sick again this its third day we send her and she sent home sick again and she just wasn't able to go anymore after that very quickly she got the flu then she got bronchitis tonsillitis and glandular fever chest infections again and you're beginning to realize then there's something wrong that it wasn't just an ordinary illness Lynne had fallen ill in 1991 she was diagnosed with a severe form of Emme which attacked her body relentlessly I may she was in a wheelchair her voice that gone to a whisper she was different having difficulty swallowing she couldn't remember people or things or places for the physical destruction in all yes yeah then we realized that nobody had the answer there wasn't a magic cure this is Lynn in her sickbed she was filmed for a documentary on Emmy which showed how from her 15th birthday she was paralyzed from the waist down only be fed through qi it was a conscious decision that I was going to look after and I told her many times for as long as it takes out the year I'll look after you she then worried about what she was doing to your life yeah she said to us on occasions but she wasn't difficult to look after she didn't complain she might lie and cry and pain sometimes but she didn't complain in fact I was on had spend so much time with her she was a wonderful person because she was so determined she was very very strong she was a real fighter but her body was giving up over 16 years she would be in hospital 50 times with a succession of serious illnesses how's that then right feel better once you have something in your tongue kay was there constantly for her daughter but so was the pain they both lived on hope one day Lin would recover you're such a beautiful girl could imagine her who can absolutely stunning something like that yes she was going to make up for the time that she's lost and so psychosis is there I'm she never has yeah but she was hoping that she would be the young woman going out to occasions to and to where the stuff yeah did you feel though watching her at some point you may be war ahead of her thinking I don't know how to tell you this but that I didn't think this is beautiful yeah say whatever is causing the Emmy goes away she's now left with all these very very significant conditions oh she had osteoporosis with 50% bonus she had broken bones just by being moved total adrenal failure ongoing anemia liver dysfunction hypothermic dysfunction you get a list there which is enough to end a premature ovarian failure world I mean even that I zone it was a signal to her she would never have children she got to the point herself that she said I'm too broken you can't fix me anymore she felt her only escape was to die and she tried to break free in May 2007 attempting suicide she mentioned on several occasions that she did not want to carry on the way she was if she did make it aware that she wanted to end her life yes she was a very intelligent girl he knew exactly what she wanted to do and what had to be dancing however painful for her brother and parents there was no doubting Lynne's wish to die she had painstakingly written her own online journal my body and mind is broken I'm so desperate and never-ending peristyle of pain and suffering I have nothing Ondine spent you're torn apart because you've got one part you wanting to respect your daughter's wishes and you've got your heart being ripped out at the same time because because all you want to do is make them better and keep them alive at what point did you realize that not only were you prepared for her to go but you were actually prepared to help I knew I'd be prepared to take her to Switzerland however I did it I don't know how I would get her there but I knew I would be prepared to try and get her there but there's no way that I could know how I would react in the situation I found myself in Lynne couldn't wait for Switzerland in December 2008 she took a massive dose of morphine when I first met Kay we didn't talk about the events of that night on our second meeting she was ready to she held it up to show me and there was about a third left of the whole dose I just sat beside her and said you know what are you doing so you talked to her yes I tried to and this waiter and she in she asked me and pleaded with me to her to help her to get more morphine so I went and got the morphine and took it into her and I saw the look of determination like she psyched herself up and you know really I have to do this she took the last two syringes that I gave her and she wouldn't let me go near them she obviously knew that she had to do it and she press the plungers and just as she did the lights went out in the house one of the circuits in town I said wait because my heart was wanting her to stay and she she said no and and continued to push the plunger and she went unconscious straightaway her last words to you were what her last words were she's frightened and I thought she meant she was frightened of the unknown and I said why are you frightened he said it I'm frightened for you and I'm frightened it won't work detectives are investigating the death of 31 year old Lynne Gilda day laughter they were called to a house in Stonegate East Sussex last Thursday the woman who died after 17 years struggle against M E has been charged with trying to kill her then guilty Dale's so now it was not just a family matter police and courts are involved today k is due in Crown Court will she face a full trial and on what charge I'm anxious because even though you have an idea of what's supposed to happen today I won't know till I'm till we're there and it happens what I would like obviously is for them to to drop the charge of attempted murder she has pleaded guilty to assisting Lin suicide but will never accept the other charge attempted murder her family no that would mean life in jail I will never plead guilty to that charge no matter what they offer me they can put me in a Cell they can do anything they want I had no right to force her to stay and suffer more less than two hours later the family emerged from court in shock the crown is for suing the attempted murder charge the trial date is set for Jamie it will never change but I know I did the right thing for Lynn she's free and at peace press you need it to be Kay's prosecution came as our lawmakers were trying to work out if it could ever be legal to help in a suicide in the House of Lords some suggested a relative who took a person abroad to die should not be arrested on their return Liberty in my view correctly has the stomach to prosecute in cases of compassionate assistance by going this amendment returned the traffic lights from red to green and state sanctioned assisted dying at ago Baroness Campbell's impassioned plea won the day she said it was too dangerous to relax the law but then Debby Purdy won a landmark appeal which reversed the argument she wanted the assurance that if her husband helped her die he would not be jailed the Director of Public Prosecutions reacts by saying you'll bring out guidelines because of the position that mrs. Perez in in particular I'm going to issue an interim policy ready for the end of September but as Debbie Paddy's supporters celebrated in Sussex Kay was still left worrying she could be found guilty of attempting to murder her own child the last week has been very difficult I feel I have to clear and clear things in the house and get everything organized because I don't know what's going to happen the other thing that I've been doing is she wanted me to have a sale for Emmy so I booked the Village Hall and I'm going to have sale that she wanted to have K is well supported locally the sale in Lynn's memory brings the village together it is at least a distraction from the corners Lynn was a fantastic part of my life I've given my newborn daughter will in his name just to keep that going it just seems out incredible that a mother who was so caring and loving and supportive could have had that charge thrown at her I don't underst I ever will and I don't think many people do so Kay's friends are hoping the DPP's new guidelines will shed light on her case what we try to do in the policy is to distinguish between those who are vulnerable to the encouragement of others who may get in on the one hand and on the other hand the family compassionate sort of arrangements that are made in many tragic cases where people fear they may be prosecuted those words lift Kay's spirits the guidelines suggest the help she gave Lynn was legal war more details have come out and he lists factors and that indicate when somebody should be prosecuted and when they should not they appear to me to be very clear and very helpful not everyone agrees just before Christmas I met Baroness Campbell who'd argued so strongly in the House of Lords the guidelines alarm her they're not just guidelines at the beginning of the process waits you open the door crack you're beginning serious action or say to a culture yes in some circumstance it is right to mercy kill disabled or tell me ill people I would say to you that's very dangerous but he had a situation with a very very ill very ill daughter and being able for a long time can't move and she wants to die and and she enlists the help of her mum the next thing that happened is she's in court that doesn't feel right is it if we don't send the strain as a child that says killing someone helping them to commit suicide is wrong and it's against the law if we don't do that the consequences are going to be far worse and yes we've got means a dying Court and it will be tough and that's the price we have to pay for keeping safe possibly hundreds of other people in similar circumstances I hope Kay the loving mother in point I understand why she's there and I hope you take it but she does not feel taken care of with the guidelines out Kay is still facing a trial the charge is still attempt the situation I'm in shows finish and not even with the with the interim guidelines as people Austin prosecutors she's going to Wales to see a man who used to be a prominent figure in public life we're on our way to go see Chris Wood head and who's got motor neuron disease it would be very interesting here here's the what he's going to have to face in the future poll carried out for this program found that where a person is terminally ill around three-quarters of those questioned believe friends and relatives should be able to assist without fear of prosecution Chris Woodhead believes the existing law should be left alone okay okay forgive me not getting up it's been a struggle really nice to see Christopher the 18 year old is arrested again the track II sympathy wants control over slams dispenser Langdon shares well who will help if he can't do it himself there will come a time when I would prefer to end it that of course raises a question of timing if you leave it too late then you are dependent upon your nearest and dearest and there is still a great deal of uncertainty about where that leaves the person who has helped you I mean I think the DPP intended his guidelines to make things clearer but Chris Woodhead believes they've actually made matters worse on the one hand he's saying that if somebody acts through good motives that they're not seeking to benefit personally from the death then that's okay but of course the person who is going to assist you may offer the assistance how do the best possible motives their love for you but they are likely to benefit from your death and therefore it seems to me are still possibly going to end up in court being prosecuted I just felt such relief and I saw it I thought there's going to be hope for people who are in this position but then as time went on I thought it's not enough you know I'd rather live with the gray situation that we're in and rely upon the wisdom and experience of the individual doctor I'm probably in a better position where we are than I would be if the great and the good of pontificated and Parliament has ruled and the so-called gray area has been clarified in a way that is more definite I'm just not confident that we're ever going to get to that clarity but clarity is precisely what people like Debbie Purdy are calling for her landmark case led directly to the DPP reviewing the current guidelines if Debbie's progressive MS becomes too much she wants to be sure her husband Omar won't be prosecuted if she chooses to die abroad with his help I think the idea of saying we'll have fudge in the law lack of clarity let's not talk about it let's not get it any clearer it's lack of respect for the democratic process this is the only law in the United Kingdom we're carrying out an act is legal but assisting in that act is it legal to you're saying to somebody we respect your right you can take your life but yet you can't tell somebody else that they can assist you if you're not able to do it so it doesn't make sense the law doesn't make sense as it stands we're asking politicians to pass a law that gives a gridline to enable patients to make choices for themselves and if they require help to be able to ask for help goes back to Sussex she's burdened not only with the loss of her daughter but with preparing to fight her corner in a court case that is now only weeks away all the talk about new guidelines on assisted suicide and everything and hasn't made any difference to my case when I was charged in the beginning and everything I had ideas of this charge be dropped and now I feel that the trial is almost here and I really don't know what to expect I suppose in some ways I've prepared myself for anything in our poll where as in Lynn's case an illness is painful and be curable but not fatal public opinion is pretty evenly split on friends and relatives being allowed to assist without fear of prosecution for those of us who have terminal illnesses or progressive disabilities the more is there this is low - a lot comes but it has a kind heart and understand the complex nature for the tragedies that sound surround some of these cases if you'd been Lynn's mother would you said no I'd like to think that I would have done I think about what I want to be helped on my way and then I think good what would that do to my husband for the rest of his life for me it's as wrong to ask somebody to kill you as it is for someone to kill you it's a little one way to cut across here hi travel to Dublin is travelling al-jabbar lately the bonds are strong they've suggested getting together before she faces a judge and jury it is very nearly since Linda hi how are you okay Serb and her brother Vinnie will toast the nice his sister isn't here trying to move hi everybody I'd like to call the total in her anniversary she would take a lot of joy seeing case Milan and we'll always be in our thoughts Thanks helped me get through the last year I recommend sitting there somewhere same Cheers I'm in a better place kay sister lives in the same house their grandparents once shared it's really nice but there's still got that you know lovely peaceful feeling to it my grandparents are buried here and my mother was buried here as well it's M certainly the wrong order of things to lose your M children a child before you but I never thought that I'd that I'd outlive my children I didn't know how long it would take for Lin to die when did you realize that Lin had actually died it was a temple 7:00 in the morning I think I knew instantly it took 30 hours for Lin to die cause a death a morphine overdose Lin injected the no-fee into myself of course so what exactly did her mother do the prosecution said she gave her crushed up pills and injected her with air and extra morphine breaking off to surf the net for information on overdoses she was unsure her daughter would die so she took her if what she was able to do on her own didn't cause the end of her life the state still seems to say at that point it's wrong for you to take over yes but I felt that Lin was dying after the morphine overdose she started to show signs of stress with her breathing and I was really worried that she was suffering in some way so I got a few tablets and again not the cocktail that the papers reported her that the prosecution made it sound to be I crushed them and gave them to her so that is the moment where for the first time in all of this I guess you have taken the initiative yes I was trying to work out what I could give her that would stop the distress without cause no harm what were you doing on on the Internet at this point what was that for they made it sound in court as though I I searched browse the internet for ages and that I wasn't with Lynne any time I left Lynne I had an intercom with me and I was running I didn't want to be away from her I was running back and forth did you inject her with air no I don't I don't remember injecting her with her you phoned the euthanasia group exit yes why did you do that I wanted advice I wanted to know why she didn't die with the amount of morphine that she had I wanted to be with her and do whatever I could to make that time as comfortable as possible and yes the state was saying that once that point came where I started to administer things that it was attempted murder but it wasn't it was it was helping them to be as comfortable as possible whilst adhering to her wishes at last relief for the family kay is cleared the jury took only to throw the case out Yuri please I'm just very grateful for the activist the hardest thing that I have ever experienced and will ever in my life no matter what happens to me there would be nothing that will compare to their pain and our heartbreak and of watching my beautiful daughter leave this world well since Kay Gilda Dale's acquittal the Crown Prosecution Service has been widely criticized for pursuing that attempted murder charge against her it says it accepts the jury's verdict but it is insisting that there was sufficient evidence to warrant the trial you can find out more about this program and of course the poll that we've been reporting on by going to the panorama website next week I'll be looking at the massive new database little want to work with children and vulnerable you you

Channel: AGRACEProduction

Views: 413,421

Rating: 4.6190476 out of 5

Keywords: Panorama, Kay Gilderdale, Jeremy Vine, Panorama (TV Series), BBC, Assisted Suicide, court, M.E, Illness, Steve Gilderdale

Id: QBMXpVLLfZ0

Length: 29min 19sec (1759 seconds)

Published: Thu Nov 24 2011