Bartenders, What's The Strangest Conversation You Overheard At The Bar? (r/askReddit)

bartenders have read it what is a strangest conversation you've ever overheard because people assume sound doesn't travel over the bar a woman was planning her dog's birthday party and was debating which dogs to invite since some of the dogs didn't get along with her dog you can pick your dog and you can pick your friends but you can't pick your dog's friends had someone yell r.i.p Olivia newton-john and I interjected that she wasn't dead big mistake drunk idiot got on one of those drunk loops about how I was wrong until we close 20 minutes later I even showed him on my phone that she wasn't dead and he said you can google anything a woman at a corporate event was explaining to three male cow walkers how she loves the thrill attained from coke being snorted off her ass sounds like someone I could get behind three girls were talking about some guy one of them was hooking up with apparently the night before she'd pooped all over his still boned got all the details I never wanted I overheard a woman who worked for a New Zealand online dating service and was basically a profile censor she described her job as being 80% big removal and had seen so many she could divvy them up into a few distinct categories I a dude had a very similar job and can confirm honestly though compared to the other things I have to remove pics are like the best case scenario in my day these three middle-aged women alone at the bar discussing in excruciating detail their sexual fantasies which seemed to include being off a younger man I was 22 at the time they obviously knew I could hear them but it was so awkward I stood there cutting the hell out of lemons and limes you've never had the out of you by a guy like me oh Jesus I think I'm the woman who got that deadline sorry he went home alone I overheard a guy telling his friend that he was going to have sex with that bartender pointing to me he proceeded to say she might not be there but I'm still going to have sex with her classy i bartended at a country club and there was this one group of tennis ladies that would always sit at the bar and get absolutely faced on weeknights at our wine nights they took a liking to our main bartender and kept calling him exotic he's Mexican they would say how love his beard would talk about their faith not tennis related positions how they kept their nether regions tidy slippin their numbers how their husbands were etcetera gave me death glares every time I'd be bartending slash bar backing with him log the exotic Mexican part got me long even though we were busy I clearly heard a women say to her friend hey look the bartender's really cute friend no he's not response oh yeah you're right damn dude that sucks I'm sure there's someone that thinks you're cute even if it's just your mom back when you kept a newspaper on the bar guy walks in and goes straight for the paper looks in one section of the other places paper down I asked him if he found what he was looking for and he said no his ex isn't dead or in jail then he asked for a beer I think you were living in a cold open from chairs I keep asking him to shoot it on my face it's good for my skin but he refuses he says he doesn't want to disrespect me but I'm literally begging I was washing glasses right in front of these two girls at my bar it wasn't even like I was far away across the bar it's disrespectful to not take your girl's desire seriously I once listened to three people have an in-depth discussion about how they were going to kill the local vampire and the steps to take to protect themselves from the coven that said vampire is surely from my favorite though what a heated debate over whether the first Robin would be a crime fighter if Batman hadn't picked him up and trained him we love drunk comic book nerds but yes Dick Grayson still would have found a way to avenge his parents death and fight crime even without Batman I once heard a guy tell his buddy it's fun it's like laser tag but with real guns that was 20 years ago and to this day kick myself for not getting the whole story almost certainly meant paintball or airsoft sorry to ruin it for you was visiting my mom at work once she Thames bar and heard her making conversation across the bar with the patron suddenly over the music I hear the guy slam his first onto the bar and yell you are factually wrong he immediately Faso planted on the bar and his buddy had to carry him out of there my mum was just commenting on the fact that the song that was playing was country this guy was going through a divorce and his buddy was consoling him he kept saying he'd never find someone as kinky as her his buddy tried to tell him plenty of people are kinky to which he replies you don't get em dude she used to blow our dog while holy mayo one time I walked out to the patio to have a smoke break into three people all talking very drunkenly but also very seriously about theoretical physics you think they have those straws for sucking drinks in your butt here Wow can't compete with that don't even really understand that randomly over her two middle-aged women as a woman ages she can choose between her face or her [ __ ] but she can choose both I have no idea I've seen it all one a couple who was obviously not married to each other they were on a business trip and would get drunk and make out like once a month when they met at my bar to a lawyer and a judge who are definitely not in the same place talking about a murder three if you didn't want it there why did you ask for a day no four look I'm not [ __ ] I'm just going through a phase where I've used those are my fav note these are just some I'm prone to remember I'm not calling the police to tell them that one time when I Bart ended the judgement lawyer that I don't know drank together work in a downtown hotel bar right across from our Convention Center I've heard way too many negotiations between business men and escorts last one I heard involved the guy asking the lady how much extra she would charge to let his friend watch she said it was $200 to watch $500 if he joins in I hated myself until I discovered masturbation just because I make love to myself doesn't mean I love myself I've bartended but my favorite conversation was overhead while I was on the other side of the bar look all I'm saying is grand theft auto severely ruined our generations perception of how many police helicopters exist sounded like they were getting really heated over the matter hazard that's a fair premise really not me as I'm a cook but a bartender I worked with and was good friends with overheard a regular that was a businessman who traveled to China often bragging about getting underage hookers while there made sure to tell everyone who knew him about it Oh scrolled too much it's stopped being the funny ones a customer is on the phone in the middle of the bar not too crowded but a long bar guy couldn't have been more than 25 I go to help someone at the end of the bar and on my way back I overhear no I don't care she's my sister she is 13 and there is no reason she should be doing cocaine at all gave him a few drinks on the house at night dude that poor guy once this older couple 55 eyes were talking about their bedroom problems the guy clearly had impotence issues and the lady kept complaining that she was feeling frustrated because he was frustrated and viagra wasn't really helping or at least not helping enough let's just say that other people around them weren't as comfortable as them about the conversation I'm not sure why you would choose a restaurant as the venue for this conversation as opposed to literally anywhere else these siblings aged 50 60 s arguing over they're not even dead and facts presented the table mother's will and who gets what it ended in a heated argument and the Sun speeding off that's horrible on Valentine's Day this year we had against who accepted a FaceTime from his girlfriend while his side-chick was with him at the bar he angled the phone so his girlfriend wouldn't see the girl but it was so obvious here's your drink are and one for your date on the house happy Valentine's Day I've heard discussions on if my boobs were real listen to a couple in an open marriage and apparently the sexual scout out the pickings of the evening listen to tons of people telling their so that they were working late one guy even met a date later listened to a couple have a very intense whispered argument about custody I assumed a kid turned out to be a cat listen to a couple guys plan how to rob me bartending was fun I miss it sometimes two businessmen having after work drinks on a Friday where the conversation built up to one of the sweetest sentiments I've ever heard at first the usual lamb tell yap you're a good person I Love You Man later on still fairly basic the wise hey you and me we buy motorcycles - finally this gem if a tornado were to blow you away I would fly after you I mean that or a group of for 50 to 60 year old women discussing their k /b spread in Call of Duty you won't come home with me because I have a stinky sob sob middle-aged woman on a first date of like seven o'clock on a Wednesday the guy was planning on going home with her until that I guess now I understand where all the patients presenting to the emergency department with vaginal discharge at 9:00 p.m. on a Wednesday come from what happens a lot while working in bars is that you over here small snippets of conversation that sounds really weird taken out of context stuff like the best way to steal eggs is to pretend that they are something else the dogs wouldn't stand a chance against Bruce Springsteen in his prime I don't know if she can swim but she bought sandals in the 90s I usually entertain myself making up stories about these conversations [Music]

Channel: Reddit Warrior

Views: 2,583

Rating: 5 out of 5

Keywords: reddit, askreddit, top posts, r/askreddit, reddit top posts, reddit cringe, askreddit top posts, ask reddit, reddit stories, funny reddit, best reddit posts, best of reddit, Updoot Reddit, TZ Reddit, askreddit new, askreddit stories, reddit story, stories, toadfilms, askreddit funny, reddit best, r/ askreddit, funny askreddit, storytime, people, best posts, askreddit tells, sir reddit, storytime with reddit

Id: 1UhGmLNlVBY

Length: 11min 3sec (663 seconds)

Published: Wed Jan 29 2020