Barney Stinson - Best moments season 8

we're totally not gonna go have sex in the kitchen if that's what you're thinking no no we are do you really want to spend the rest of your life with Queenie God you have a point when Gandhi it's not like he could seduce Sudha over the phone challenge accepted honey it's not cheating if it's on the phone right say what now German female wrestlers from Saxony are just begging for it also Price is Right know what I do in buggy [Music] first of all if you have an onion bagel you don't need scallion cream cheese um can I read it first can you believe that she wants to read it first mr. Stinson is granted weekly visitation rights to Anne Sarah and Molly it's important for the girls to maintain a relationship with their daddy promising not to get clingy the priests up patent-pending come up with a lot of good stuff rich people and celebrities put stuff like this and their prenups all the time and those are the marriages that last I have to pay $2,000 every time I gain a pound just if it shows up at the weekly weigh-in just a healthy modern-day marriage based on mutual respect between two equals did I go a speck of sand unicorn Whisperer too far perhaps it's here to protect you too sweetie from becoming unappealing to me legend wait for it dary my wedding is gonna be legendary welcome back Robin I spent 7 grand on merch this is happening of an innovative way to bang chicks that properly honors my return to the game ten unpaid parking tickets I suppose there is one way I could get you off I suppose there is one way I could get you off damn it I just made it up yesterday they not questions I need time to think Barney ixnay the Gilray ain't a quick question why are you interviewing nannies glad you asked the big bro in the sky had answered my prayers on 95 the female body cannot withstand that many consecutive orgasms I blame myself it was like taking candy from an imaginary baby on the bus go up and down now pick up your toys and say good night to Daddy how would you teach you Marvin about the facts of life you're gonna love the Amsterdam little bro you need to actually have had sex in order to explain it because time will heal a broken heart but not that bitch's window come on it Ted raises and the poor kids still gonna be a virgin when he's 13 Barney Stinson banging anything less than an eight that's like a 15 and if you got some nuts this guy lost a couple she's five full what's that in dog years like 35 we're done here when you pleasure yourself orally don't ever think that means I'm not impressed just the ability to go to town on yourself our point guards a 52 year old virgin happy as a clam I'm sure he's quite a ball handler picture a well-oiled machine your sewing machine may as well start having sex listening sickening exiting she can't go home with you Nikki because Robin and I are in love I love everything about her and I'm not a guy who's fest that lightly I'm a guy who is faked love his entire life but this woman has a hold on my heart that I could not break if I wanted to it has been painful at times I am hopelessly irretrievably in love with her more than she knows and the Oscar for Best fake romance speech goes to Barney Stinson it's just really tough because you have to find your nice trip guy have to find a new strip club katsu yoku my idea I'm Ted nailed it totally would you pick a place where the strippers say they're trying to put their grandkids through college ladies and gentlemen it's time for the decision ladies my brodeo Barney Stinson has to do what's right for Barney Stinson's penis in this fall I'm going to take my talents to mouth Beach the one part of that story I believe is that scooter only had three friends then guys we lost him couldn't eat lunch at work because they ordered Thai food if you're gonna drool do it in style we've got every look in the book so brandy never sneak into the studio and do it in front of the weather map someone's about to get unseasonally banged my high-pressure system was ready to slam into her warm front first Christmas ornaments that could be anyone's baby handprint Ted beep Ted things have gotten you laid wearing these challenge accepted I meant Ted you get those ornaments all year I just need a brick ristmas put on top of the tree that's gonna be legend wait for it Mary my wife is having an affair with your husband I wish there was some way we could get back at them respect to Mickey your mom's at peace she's not Ted's mom but she's at peace Scotch neat jinx I'm not about to stop talking just because I was jinxed how was your day Oh mr. Moseby you built up come on terror is back if you guys don't want me to smoke or fart in here just speak up nothing great Robin Scherbatsky will you marry me also true I think I can handle all vampire in the daylight damper no mr. Scherbatsky yeah I think we got off on the wrong foot I don't want to do this you think I wanted to kill that bear yeah oh no fluffernutter peed all over my pants I believe our dear friend Lily was referring to your other wrists the one wearing the male birth control oh good you're awake oh oh here's your mom hello Virginia um my mother's not one-night-stand material it wasn't night and we weren't standing right it didn't you just didn't the knee bruise is encouraging nice I bye but no I never banged your mom why didn't or should I say bro-in-law Ted does she have enormous cans then what we're sitting and she's a crazy stalker bitch who pulled that fire alarm and you should run screaming fifty meters that's like four years Lily never burned anything for you clearly you never tried a pot roast fight beloved Canadian actor Alan Thicke to draw I gotta get rid of this girl agreed cray-cray gotta go bye-bye for you get stabbed stabbed try to fix it well maybe you tell us what you and Jeanette did last night we had a seance we talked to her cat calling out the name of her high school science teacher in the throes of passion it's really fun and making you fear for your safety it's really really fun I'm sorry what we're talking about Janelle oh right that girl's crazy you gotta break up with her I'm sorry I have to say this Jeanette lives here now this is her place you're gonna have to leave but we went to get subs we got you unknown we didn't get you one what do I do for a living there are some questions we're not meant to know the answer to okay that's just so disappointing seriously that's absolutely not however forget it on the other hand it's nice nothing happens that means hand stuff that's cute look us alone for a minute please oh they're gonna do it Marshall has the law lily has Arts Robin has pleasing me sexually I totally nailed her and then I know their sister who is even hotter here we go innocence reunion Madison Square Garden it's gonna be legend you guys thank God we'd love to hear it but we've got that um that Steely Dan Carnegie Hall back did you just a quick brush a Lebanese girl Sprint's a third base and then stay there my other one rule was always my penis he said it wrong let me guess does it involve me saying my penis in a Scottish accent now you're getting that laddie is that the playbook no Robin that is a couch Robin wait shoot I hadn't figured out what I'm gonna say yeah keep going Robin wait [Music] did you just my bra - fine an apartment where I haven't bangs someone how you feel about Cleveland nope Ted's mom close the door oh my god can you just be cool once please just once I saw a middle-aged woman in a red blazer you finally greenlit my orgy idea I am way too upset right now to point out how many women have seen some beautiful woodwork in their old timey robots in a wheelchair-accessible wrestling ring why are we still sitting here 20 years from now when my 26 year old third wife asked me about this make a lot of those joke it's gonna be legen wait 20 years for it dary well this has been fun I should go one set of all she can't tie up with a necktie and lightly hit with a ping-pong paddle these balls oh my god it's happening this is just like I imagined the belt is mine even heard me robbing hired you naughty girl dee dee why oh I - Dee's double D - Dee's man oh my face to melt I can now walk up to any girl and say whatever creepy disgusting thing I think I'm gonna like being married please that's why I never touch the North Koreans unless you're on the road Koreans would swear I never talked to the doctor so no offense but if you do planet it's gonna be order why wait for it nari ordinary and you will disappoint me but make it great okay and she's already here Robin too late she's already there booze dumb cigars strippers Duff Oh think she gets so crazy at some point we should fear for our lives balloons not the inflatable round squishy pouches I was hoping to see tonight it's easier to deliver what are your requests Oh Thank You Marshall you're not the only one with questions here you didn't vet the stripper now make like your mommy's ovum and split hahaha the way you use that kid having an asthma attack is a human shield that took my breath away here today will echo through eternity stand up straight Kaden for every three tens you bang throw a bone to a five and let's face it sometimes you just want to lay there to look at your unappetizing to look at if they've always been our archenemies they've only just revealed themselves challenge exception I'm saying something in French [Music]

Channel: Oscar Stinson

Views: 1,716,981

Rating: 4.7385435 out of 5

Keywords: Barney Stinson, Awesome, Legendary, How I met your mother, Suit up, Best Moments, Scenes, quotes, lines, Challenge accepted, nude, sex, sexy, minecraft, hot, tits, nipple, season, top 10, montage, funniest, funny, compilation, saddest, sad, oscar

Id: 2FKu0aYzxyE

Length: 13min 3sec (783 seconds)

Published: Mon Apr 16 2018