Baby Mamas No Drama Episode: It's Really Not That Easy

Hi how are you how's your morning chaotic absolutely [ __ ] chaotic and we have four four baseball games this week and two basketball practices that are an hour away so we have literally Monday through Friday something every single day oh my God I know I woke up today I took baby to school and on the way to school she broke out in hives did she try something new today nope I have no idea what happened so I text a picture to my sister and I was like has this ever happened to Ally like cuz it looks it's very patchy like it looks like a heat rash and I was just like I obviously I just came back home I was like I'm not bringing taking you to school like this cuz the nurse is probably going to end up calling me anyway and telling me to come pick you up or something so I text my sister and she's like yeah she gets that a lot when she gets like bit by mosquitoes so I was like oh God I hope she's not allergic to mosquitoes or something but Joe was going to take her to the doctor and see what's going on but I put like um what is that cream cortis lotion no I put like cortisone cuz usually this isn't the first time this has happened like she break she's been breaking out quite often and then um but like it's not ever this bad like it's kind of like I think it's like mostly like the Heat or something um so when I put that on her it usually works but it did not work today so I'm like I have no idea I'm like you just got to go to the doctor so after this we got to take her to the doctor and see hopefully they can just tell me you know take her to an allergist or they could um good luck getting into one girl cuz I like it's it takes months and trying to get Isaac into the dermatologist months and now Creed is having severe allergic reactions at like the ball field um I told you about his eyes the other day um what if he's like allergic to grass or something my NE toass that's what Lux is allergic to grass and like pollen and stuff but trying to get them into an allergist is the length of time is crazy it's so hard but I was like [ __ ] like this never had this has she's never had this many rashes till we moved to this house so I'm wondering if it's just like the outside stuff like the all the extra pollen and like the trees and everything but if I'm not mistaken I'm pretty sure that Delaware is like very Delaware pollen in Delaware I'm pretty sure is like the highest it's like one of the highest places for pollen I've never had allergies until I moved down here like never in my life suffered an allergy in my [ __ ] life to the point where I had to buy I buy flones by the pound like I am in I'm like all the time I have one in my car I have one here I have one in my house I have one in my back like I have one everywhere just to like do it and BB is the same way now I had to be in New Jersey this weekend for Lincoln's tournament and I the entire time that I was driving I thought of you and Alexandre because why how did y'all ever survive there when with the driveing and that's so funny cuz I love driving in Jersey like I feel like myself when when I'm driving on Jersey highways like I'm like [ __ ] I can like I just feel so free like I hate driving out here the driving even in like off the freeway but like in the towns absolutely the [ __ ] not like I was so upset because I was like this is the most chaotic thing that I've ever done in my entire life so I had Lux and Creed in the back I had Isaac and Lincoln and here we go driving in New Jersey and I'm like I have to be on my p's and q's please do not make a sound because I don't know what the [ __ ] is going on you got to have eyes everywhere it's like a life skill honestly learning to drive in the city like you have to be so aware of everything and everybody around you I will say so where we stayed at for the tournament mhm first of all we went on a Friday night we had Chinese that night the next day we had Japanese food and Puerto Rican food for lunch and dinner MH the options within a walking distance of our hotel were endless and I was so excited because we don't really have Puerto Rican food around here and you know Isaac loves zala so I was like hold I know he got me making them this week and I was like okay I'll make them for you um I was just like we have to and then we went we got Japanese and we got all the food and I was like um I remember Alexandre told me that it's one of like the culinary cap capitals because she had said that a while back and I was like oh my God and then there was a barber shop directly across the street like I'm not talking like you have to walk down the block I'm like you front of the hotel and you're directly across the street from a barber shop so here C goes I want to get a haircut and first of all coolest [ __ ] Barber Shop I've ever been to so one they were all Hispanic which I loved and you know Lincoln's doing his oh I'm only speaking Spanish now so he loves that and then there was plants like the owner of the barber shop had these plants like growing up the corners of his barber shop but like you don't expect that in a barber shop you expect that at like like a hair salon or like yeah and so like it was kind of like Hispanic hipster Vibes it was reallying you get that a lot in Jersey like everyone's like very like it's like modern but like a Twist of like the Latin and stuff like that everyone's culture is like a Twist in it I love it it was so [ __ ] cool I popped my head in there so fast I was like do you guys take Walkins and they were like yeah and it was just so I was like I could see the I I get the appeal to Jersey now like now that I was like able to like do all of that in like a quick and Chinese was across the street Japanese wasn't far like everything was there and then but the the parking was crazy because the hotel only had a parking garage that only fit up to six feet and my truck is 6'3 so like I couldn't park in the garage for the hotel so I had I did have to park down the block which is fine if I know ahead of time and I didn't and so it was a little bit crazy there and then the driving those are the two be very aggressive very like you can't be scared to cut a [ __ ] off you cannot be scared to throw yourself like and that's why I drive when people drive when me out here they you know that thing that you hold like on the side of the car like when Joe is in the car me he'd be holding that [ __ ] and I'm like it is never that serious but like I'm so used to driving in Jersey like I drive I drive insane but I love it is I love I love every time I go out there like that's why I'm always doing a million in one things like last time we went we went to um we celebrated my nephew's gra like birthday and like he's graduating soon so we went out to eat in West New York and then we came back like I went to a record store I took Isaac to a record stored out there we went to I took him to my favorite Bakery like we just do so much out there cuz there's so much and everything is right in like a small vicinity like you don't have to go too far out so like you can park in one spot and go to a bunch of places instead of like getting in the car driving here getting in the car going to the next place that's like where I used to live like on the one strip like where my apartment building was like I had everything there like everything I had a dentist I had food I had bodegas I had like an eye doctor like I didn't have to leave my block basically because I had everything there I had my doctor there like it's insane like I get it now I get it I mean it was the most if if there are any we have another tournament coming up I don't want to go to tournaments unless it's that convenient like I don't even it was so nice because find food we can find some parking like that is like the ideal situation that you want because if Isaac wanted to be stay at the hotel and not go get go get to the barber shop it's right there so it's not like I you know what I mean like I'm not leaving them in a hotel somewhere and driving cuz it's all within the street so it was really nice um so I just wanted to let you know I I get the a jersey hype now I get the Jersey hype that's funny because you always used to be like oh I hate going to Jersey like I hate it I know you hate driving more more than anything I love driving like I could drive to Jersey all the time I never have an issue like I'm always down to drive to Jersey well my so my cousins live in Hoboken and they like the kids do their thing and I'm like I don't I never understood it but now I get it because they can stop and get a snack after school on their way home they can do whatever but yeah that's what I used to do I used to walk home and go to like 10 different places to eat like like let me stop at there Endless Options yeah it sucks cuz out here the kids don't have like nothing is really like walking like you have to drive everywhere and then the highway is like right in the middle of like where everything is so it's like you have to be on the highway like on Dupont Highway to get access to everything so that's why it was such a like I feel like when I first moved down here to Delaware it was almost like a I don't even I'm not even going to say a culture shock is that kind of like the word yeah but because it was so [ __ ] I didn't have access to so many things that I was used to just walking out my door and having access to and also my gas like I had to learn how to put my own gas and I was like I'm a princess I don't pump my own gas like I don't I think New Jersey is literally the only state that still pumps like they pump their gas your gas for you they're the only ones left I think one other one okay so there might be other other ones but I know Jersey like if I could just go to cross the um state lines just to have my gas pumped I would yes like I hate it that's the one thing I hate but but then now when I'm in Jersey I have I have a habit of like getting out of my car and trying to do it myself and they're like what the [ __ ] like you can't do that so I'm like I got to remember where I'm at said it's illegal to pump your own I love that for us like they will look at you like you're [ __ ] crazy but sometimes it sucks cuz if you go to Jersey and you're in a gas station and they're taking too long like I'm like I can just do it myself like let me do it myself I know how to do it but they won't let it's illegal you can't do it you're like Delaware taught me I can do it myself yeah so in Delaware I like cuz it's easier and faster but in Jersey they take their sweet [ __ ] time but that's funny so yeah oh I I got my windshield fixed finally so that's a good update I guess for this week hundreds of dollars later yeah seriously all right let's get into the co-parent okay it says Hey Kellen V love you ladies and y'all seriously help me get through the week I hope y'all can read this on the podcast because some step parents always aren't always the bad guys I wanted to see if you guys could help me out on some advice and this goes along with what y'all talked about with step parents overstepping when it comes to more personal things that biop parents should be taken care of for Bio kids so my fiance has a daughter that's 10 years old we've been together since she was four so more than half her life he has three children with his ex-wife two boys one girl the boys live with us full-time with 0% time with her she shows no interest in spending any time with them but she does have their daughter most of the time with us having her every other weekend well when we pick her up for our weekend with her she's always so dirty hair in a rats nness dirty clothes smells like Bo as soon as we get her home we have her shower and go all over the hygiene stuff with her over again this is every weekend we have her lately while doing her laundry he underwear has been absolutely disgusting so disgusting it makes me Furious not at her not at her but at biom mom why isn't she showing her proper height why is it that I'm always having to be the mean person when I'm having to brush out her hair for the two weeks of it not being washed and brushed I get staying in my Lane but when is it okay to say [ __ ] it I hate seeing this child being neglected and yes that's what I'm calling it because I know biom Mom has to be seeing this and I honestly don't think she cares this child would will soon start her period and the way she's coming to our home is completely unacceptable I talked to my fiance about it and he says he'll talk to biom Mom and the conversation is just I'll talk to her would this be a good reason to over step my that boundary I have four kids of my own two being girls and this has never been an issue on my end because I make sure all of my kids are always taken care of it at all times I have a non-verbal autistic son who requires so much attention so I know if I can do it with four kids one being special needs she can do it for one child please tell me please tell it to me on a real level I can take it 1,000% that is a time where I would cross the line because this is not about your feelings about the biom mom stepmom feelings about each other this is about the well-being of a child and if the hygiene is a problem that needs to be addressed because what I tell my kids and I've said it on this podcast a hundred times is what they do and what they are taught as a child when it comes to hygiene is how they're going to do as an adult and this is a she's right when they when she gets her per I also do kind of have a problem with this based on their ages I kind of have a problem with separating the body biological siblings in that way I feel like that's an issue in and of itself why do you have full custody of the boys but not the girls yeah I'm confused about that too um I don't love that I don't that's not like that would be just be just for the sake of conversation with Lux and Creed like they're full siblings yeah at this age I'm not separating them with different custody schedules now at the ages where they're able to decide that's a separate conversation because they're older um that already is kind of like what are we doing here kind yeah I want to know the situation about that I kind of want to know what's why that came out to be cuz I feel like if I have full custody of both of them why wouldn't we have full custody of the girl too like why does she have to be the one going back that's weird to me so but I 1,000% would you as a like if I was sending Isaac over there completely unhygienic completely disgusting would you say something I'd be worried yeah I'd be like K what's going on because I mean it's not a normal thing for us to like do that like but I'm I'm thinking also because of like the girl side I've kind of been through this with BB where I have to you have to teach them exactly how to clean themselves and I feel like that's the same with boys too like they should be taught exactly how to clean their parts because they are different but like with viie I had to like physically show her and all always I'm always checking her I don't care how weird it is but I have to check her because she there's times where she doesn't clean herself fully like she's 8 years old she doesn't know exactly how to like I don't want to be too vulgar but like get you know like you got to get in there and I tell her all the time like you know like if you don't clean yourself right you can get an infection or something like we have to be very cautious of how we clean ourselves and also like the whole wiping from front to back like don't wipe from Back to Front cuz you're dragging all the bacteria and everything to the front and that's not where you wanted so I had to like I had to physically tell her and show her how to clean herself you know and I think a lot of people don't do that no they don't or they don't or they think like they're just going to get it like the kids are GNA like till this day BBE sometimes I got to check her and be like no like clean yourself right like kids are kids they're not going to do the things that we do exactly but you have this is where you have to show them and like be on top of them like be consistent like they're kids like they're not wiping their [ __ ] asses right or they're not doing things right so you have to be consistent and be on top of them all the time I it's also concerning to me that for a parent that is and this is probably not good advice but I just feel like I have to say it it's like yeah you can't even like make sure she's clean before she goes to her dad's like yeah you really think that's okay because what you're doing at your house is one thing but you're not even cleaning her to make her presentable to go to her dad's like that's even a red flag like you're not like oh you know what let me get her [ __ ] together for her real quick to go to her dad's like you're leaving her like that and sending her over there what the [ __ ] is going and also I do think that for mothers it's typically fewer and far between with this kind of stuff and so at the point that you have a mother in your life that's doing this there's a real problem there whether it's mental health or something else or they just don't give a [ __ ] but that's I mean this is a hygiene issue that needs to have needs to be addressed overstep the boundary I'm saying overstep the boundary and I'm bioom um but secondly hygiene I feel like that's something that I I can't no I mean I've texted you I mean Joe Joe Isaac's a teenager and I have we have to get on to him you know what I mean there's still times where I'm like go go put your go put some cologne on go put your deor rant on like we'll have to tell him and BB's the same way like she like and he's a teenager so these little kids that have to do that like you have to stay on them but the second thing here is yall should be fighting for custody period Point Blank yeah facts especially if she's the one that y'all don't have full custody of and you're going through all of this with her like I feel like that would be a red flag for me I'd be like well obviously we need we need her in our care because we're the only ones that are actually paying attention to this but I'm also thinking the Mom it's not few and far between where probably the mom probably has terrible hygiene too like who's to know if the boys were with her they'd probably be coming back the exact same like some people are just not clean like that's just something that I've come to to figure out like some parents are are just not clean and so like their kids like will they're basically an extension of them you know so they're not going to teach their kids cleanliness and hygiene if they're not even keeping up with it themselves you know God I just feel bad for the and also like if she only has the one and you have four like two girls you're like raise her with her sisters like step or half like then the girls can probably show her too like maybe like like she learns the like it's it reminds me of VI and Ally like she catches on to a lot of the the things Ally does like now allly has a little face wash that she uses and BB's like well I want to I want to use the face wash and everything like so it's like it's good though because it's like she's teaching her good hygiene and like things that in the future she's going to know and she's going to want to know like she's going to be up on her skin care she's going to be she's going to be smelling good like she's not going to be one of the smelly kids like and it sucks like I feel so bad that kids have to go through that but it really is like they they learn from what they see and what they're what they're exposed to but also just like them being separ her being the only one singled out not raised with her siblings makes me really sad too I know I don't understand that like why not just have them all together maybe I don't know did the maybe the biom mom like fought for her more like that would be girl but I to me like you're going to if you I just there's no words I don't yeah I don't understand it maybe if she can write back and like explain to us why cuz I yeah I would love to know I need to know more about this custody split because yeah I don't know I just I like I have such a problem and I've talked about it already but like the fact that Valley doesn't even have like she doesn't have a sister I'm like I need to give her a sister like I can't like I hate that oh my God you're already thinking she needs a sister I thought that before I even had her I'm like if I have one then I should probably have two but um anyway I struggle sometimes with that too like even BB's like I want a sister or whatever but I'm like I just tell her all the time I'm like you have Ally you have girl cousin like you know and just like you and Isaac have a lot in common you know like it's not so different like so far in between but she wants a like a sister so bad or even a brother like she just wants another sibling and I'm just like her age yeah and I think because she also recognizes that Isaac's getting older and like he's in he's about to be in high school and with that she knows that he's not going to hang out with me anymore so she thinks about stuff like that and I'm like you're like thinking too far ahead like just relax I mean she's got she can hang out with Lux cuz Lux is Lux and well her and Lux are like whenever they're together I feel like they're the closest like they hang out the most out of like all of your kids like they just have they're also really close in age yeah so I tell her that too cuz she was really excited when she found out you were having a girl and I'm like well you're like nine you're going to be like 10 years apart from her like I'm like I don't know if it's going to be that much of like a play dat type situation you're more of like you could be a babysitter to her but she don't care she just loves she loves kids like she's very she's very maternal nature yeah I love that though but speaking of parenting we need to talk about common you know common is he a rapper he's like a rapper yes I love common I actually met him at the VH at the MTB music awards that one time you guys went really and he was so excited yeah he met him in the bathroom oh I love that okay he like took a picture with him and everything and he was that was like the highlight of his night it was so funny and cute I've never met him but I do have a little bit of a bone to pick with him about his new book because okay um he talks about parenting what made him become a better parent so I was like hold on let me like read into this a little bit so yeah he basically says that taking care of your mind body and soul is going to make you a better parent which I agree with right like that's something that we talk about self-care is so important right but the more that we talk about that and the more that I see I'm the more that I realize how how humbling having three babies at once is right like and and there is no breaks for me anymore now that I'm with Elijah and we have kids full- time I could not tell you the last time Elijah and I went out on our own and we don't have a like outside of Monday through Friday 8 to 4: we do not have a babysitter his mom has her kids are out of the house and you know she will help where she can but she's not just we're not just dropping them off every weekend or every night when we have something that's going on you know what I mean like there is no breaks for Elijah and I like there just isn't right so that's just not an option but take that I'll take it a step further single parents parents who are struggling with one income or even two income households um and things of that nature that don't allow for time for yourself I mean there I could not tell you V the last time I did something for myself that was not related to my work and inome or my children I could not tell you the last time I did something for kale and that being said I just and I'm and I'm blessed right like I financially don't have concerns right now and I have a partner who's supportive of you know me ripping and running all over the freaking United States with my kids and for work yeah um so take those things out of the equation the parents who are [ __ ] struggling the parents who have multiple kids the special needs kids all of these things and so I do feel like it's not really fair and it comes from a place of privilege and luxury the people that have extra time might have to work during that extra time to be able to afford this right and so to say oh all these things you know make you a better parent yeah we know that we know that but we don't have that we don't have villages we have Kristen and I just got off the phone before this recording and she was telling me that you know she's spending $800 every two weeks just for adults no children and I'm like I'm at almost $1,200 every two weeks for my like don't have for what for groceries sorry I didn't even say that oh yeah yeah yeah so like we're talking things like that and so you're you take out the lifestyle that common you know his finances and his his privilege and you look at people every day people who are not rappers who are not in the industry who do not have that the luxury of time and extra money and that's not possible yeah a lot of people just don't have the time yeah and so like it's what can we do I don't know what the solution is maybe there is some sort of solution um that we I don't know I don't know what the solution is for stuff like this because obviously we all want to be the best parents we can be but with that how do we do that without extra time and extra money I guess and like just being able to bless yourself with the food that you actually want to bless your body with like I know he's talking about like his health and exercise not a lot of people can afford organic groceries at this point you know like and also like just take like you said like just taking even an hour or two to exercise or even be able to go to the gym to exercise people don't have babysitters or they don't have the extra they don't even have the extra hour or two to spare like everyone is working so much or they got two jobs or you know like and then you want to come home and actually spend time with your kids like when do you have time to actually come home and spend time with your kids like actually sit down with them without thinking about everything else that you have to do throughout the day like that's something that I had struggled with that I was like I need to just be in the moment like not worry about this is need to be done or we got to do this we got to do that like let's just be where we are and like just worry about that [ __ ] another day because I was I felt like I was always worrying so much about getting [ __ ] done in the house that I like wasn't even spending my time with the kids and it's like that's another thing like you want to spend time quality time so a lot of people don't like they rather have quality time with their kids then go to the gym or you know do things that sometimes are for you and like for your mind body and soul like it's really hard but and I saw I looked at the article and I looked a little into his uh book and he did talk a lot about Shadow work too so I don't know if he's talking more about like spiritually yeah which I feel like I can understand that because I think you know when you do work on your like Shadow work and a lot of that takes therapy and stuff like that's connecting with like the inner you like the child you almost like a lot of people's Shadow work has to do with like the younger you or like the the side that nobody knows about so I think he you know just working on that but also another thing not everyone has access to therapy to be able to do that so that's another thing yeah I mean it's just it was it's frustrating because I know that the the intentions of the book were to help right and give insight and to do all those things and I'm guilty of coming on all my podcast and talking about you have to take time for yourself but having three babies now has humbled me in that you know it it took me back to when I just had Isaac I was working two jobs because even when I didn't have Isaac and he was with Joe I was still working one if not both of my jobs or going to school there's not it's just it's frustrating because like I said it comes from a place like a good place I get that but where do people it's not realistic it's not yeah and I think I wanted to bring It full circle and say like I apologize if I've ever made someone feel like on these podcasts oh just do this it's that simple make time for yourself it's just that simple make date night it's just that simple it's not and I'm I'm reh humbled um and I you when you're putting those situations you start to learn and you're like [ __ ] like it really isn't that easy like it's [ __ ] hard she texted me and she she was like um sent me a picture because she went on a date with her husband and she I was she's like I don't remember the last time me and Cory went out and then she the next message was like the next message she text me was and I'm saying that to someone who probably hasn't been on a date with a I was like it's okay like you don't have to compare yourself to me like you also are find having a hard time finding the time that doesn't make it better or worse than me but like same you know what I mean like we're all kind of also they were on different schedules for for years like so long I even I was talking to Kristen I think yesterday too and I was like you deser I was like you you guys deserve like that time together because it's been a long time coming for y'all but it's true like I think we talk so much and we're always like you do for you but it's easier said than done like we all we need to practice what we preach sometimes but it's like with all the hustle and bustle and like with things are just not easy right now it's not [ __ ] easy I don't think for anybody I like to go and get pedicures and stuff and I haven't even thought about doing that in like weeks you know like I just haven't have with so much [ __ ] just popping up and you know like even today like the [ __ ] just rash and [ __ ] like there's always something going on like just even if you feel like you do have the time sometimes it can easily just get taken away from you and then that and then you don't have the time again for like another month or two to actually make it up like no I I had asked one of my girlfriends if if she wanted to get together to we were going to work on something and she texted me last night she's like hey um did you still want to get together this week and I was like I'm sorry I have four baseball games and two practices that are an hour away like I just can't do it and she's like okay well like let me know when you have time and it's make time for what you want and do what is that saying U you make time for the things that you love or like the things that like make yeah no it's it's not always not always like that fly in here that's really irritating me um can you he's going in front of the camera too like you're [ __ ] dirty can you not um no totally and I'm like we were talking about getting goats and I was like I want goats so bad but I can't where I live Elijah the only reason why these chickens and Ducks are working out is because they're the [ __ ] easiest thing I've ever had in my entire life so so I don't a goat during the summer it sounds great like I could Foster goats in the summertime but I can't foster goats in the freaking during the school year is an absolute no and you can't have them by themselves like they get lonely and they start getting they'll get like aggressive and they'll start like acting out so you have to have them in pairs or like threes I showed them yesterday um I was like well this one needs a home I don't know it sounds like a good Father's Day gift and he said for who yeah like I don't want these goats please no oh yeah I love goats so much I actually was trying to convince Joe for us to get goats but he's like we literally can't like where we live like it's in city limit so I can't get any type of like farm animals at all which I'm really sad about not even chickens I could probably get chickens but I don't chick I bought chicks for a dollar where where did you get these chicks at like well I rescued them but they were a dollar Tractor Supply oh nobody wanted them so they marked them down to a dollar oh my God that's so sad and I was like that's actually really cuz normally and don't come for me the people on this podcast do not [ __ ] come for me for supporting tra of flag chicks okay nobody wanted is that bad I nothing about like these farm animals or where they come from I if I'm not mistaken I'm I think it's like one of those things that's like um sort of like puppy mills like if you support them and it's not good and you should get them from a farm kind of thing but nobody wanted them they literally marked them down to a dollar so I I was like that's like really sad so I B I went for chicken food and for hay and I walked out with a dollar chickens so and like you buy eggs and they're like $4 for a freaking thing so I'm like perfect they will literally pay for themselves they're gonna have a good life but um so you have the because there's like different type of like you right one of them was a Jersey girl oh really what is it called a a Jersey Giant you should name her v wait wait wait wait wait wait that's so funny so we were going over names for goats like if we ever got goats and Lincoln was like um LeBron Michael Jordan and Kobe and then I was like all the goats so cool so then I was like oh what should we name pigs kale and um Kay and Lindsay like I was trying to think of like pairs you know what I mean but the I only have one Jersey Giant and I'll name her V name her V oh that would be so cute your Jersey Girl I'm like you're only Jersey growing they're huge I have no that's insane I don't know I'll send you pictures of what she's going to grow up to be like but um anyway I don't fny so you're like in your farm girl era and I'm in like my gardening era right now like I am getting I want to grow vegetables I'm trying to grow herbs like I am learning so much and I literally I alived two plants Kale like that is big for me because I I remember I always told you I had no green thumb like I'm not good with plants you know I would always get fake plants yes but [ __ ] I had these lies first of all lies are [ __ ] dramatic like they are so dramatic they are very hard to keep alive okay and I'm keeping it alive as best I can um daisies are really easy I have those and then like my other plants like one had died and I brought it back to life and I was like so proud of myself well you should be it's so like into the swing of it the plants are easy but like you neglect them a little bit and they're I'm like y'all are so needy like these little lies that I have girl needy as hell like I'm like this is not what I signed up for but I got to like take them outside bring them back in take them outside bring them like they are so they're doing too much what called like frostbite will they get like frost bite well that one it it only needs like partial sun so I can't I kept it out in the sun for like two days one time and it like fried up like so I felt so bad I was like oh my God I neglected you and like I didn't read the thing right and then um so I ended up bringing her back in for like two days like watered her gave her some food and like she started like she was like really droopy and then she came back up so I was like okay like we're getting somewhere you know like I'm doing something she was she was went from sadd to baddy like real quick and I was like go ahead Lily girl like and I got Lily specifically because my mom like my mom's name is Lily so I was like oh my God let me get some l so like when she comes over she'll see it and it's like really cute and that's like my favorite flower but I'm like no she going to come over here see this Lily and it's neglected and it's like it looks terrible like I can't have that there's this girl that I follow um it's called Mariah grows and it's um plant inspo and care tips so I'm going to send you they're now they're not all like gardening flowers some of them are outdoors and some of them are indoors so like you'll it may or may not be helpful but I follow her and she has the best products too for like growth and like other things so I mean a lot of them are house but some of them are outside too so I'm going to send it to you yeah I'm getting like one of those raised like plant beds so I can start growing like vegetables and like fruit like I'm like how would it be if we just were cooking and I'm like okay I'm going to go outside and like get the basil and like just pick that [ __ ] off like fresh ass food you know I have a request then okay what when you have vegetables before they go bad they can't have mold on them but like say you have an overabundance and they're about to go bad can you tell me so I can and come pick them up because then my chickens will eat them yeah oh that would work out perfectly like if I'm ever like okay I need to kind of get rid of these to like grow like newer ones or something I'll just give them to you so you can feed the chickens and stuff so they that's perfect they can't have mold on them yeah they can eat like all theet they can't have apple seeds and there's like a couple other things but it's probably not stuff that you're going to like grow anyway um but yeah I'm so excited we're like work so perfect we work together on our little thing like I provide you the food and like you have the animals that is so cute oh my God keep you updated when I start because I'm still like I'm still like kind of you know doing my my research and everything because I want to go about it the right way but my main concern was like the dogs I don't want them to get into anything so I'm getting like one of the raised someone sent me yeah they were like just get like a raised bed and then you can grow like your herbs and stuff in there and I was like oh my God and it's cool because like that I can keep it inside like in my screen import so it's not outside all the time like it's like a perfect place yeah so I was like I'm going to start doing that but I really want to grow like strawberries like I better write that down I better write down for the new house build sun room yeah build oh my God girl a sun room changed my life like it is the a screen in porch yeah it's a screened in porch and it's like right in front it's right outside like um right in front of our backy like where the pool is so it's perfect cuz like if it starts raining or something we can just go in there like a screened in porge is like something that I never thought when we had bought the house too I was just like not crazy about it I was like oh like this is just something that's kind of here and Joe was like I promise you we're going to be using this [ __ ] a lot and he was right like we're in there every night like it's just such a Vibe like you just hear all that like nature outside and like it's just so it feels so nice like yesterday it was like perfect outside so it felt so good there like I just sit there like we chill like drink I hang out with my friends in there like it's a really nice Chill Spot like it's I wrote it down yeah and the kids like they hang out we play cards like we just it's like a good that's like one of those you know how like old people are like oh like when you when you like they just sit outside in the porch and just like drink their coffee and at first like it's like weird like you're like why but now when you're old enough you get it like you're like okay I understand why this is a Vibe like being outside and like being in a screened in porch like on a [ __ ] rocking chair or something just like chilling with nature with your coffee or like your te whatever the [ __ ] it is just peace like that is where I'm at right now like I'm like that is a Vibe that's all I want so literally I I feel like I'm turning into my grandmother she yes she I because she raised me and I would be in there and she had um the swing like one of those big bench swings on her porch on the on the back deck and on the porch out front and she would give me my apple juice and she would drink her I think it was I think it was like gin and tonic or something I don't even know yeah her my Granda just swinging along and just chilling and listening to Nature and like she had a green Thum I was just like I feel like and she used to read too so I feel like I'm Carol yeah sometimes I take my books out and I'll just sit on the I have a couch out there I have a cute I put my little egg chair out there like I have it decorated and I put like those little lights with the foliage like coming down like it is such a Vibe it looks so good and it's like my my space like where if I just want to get away for a little bit just to read or like watch a movie like I'll bring my iPad out there just lay there and it's like it's the best like it's I probably won't be able to do it until the twins get on like a routine because they're not on a routine yet so it's hard for us to do literally anything yeah but once they start like um Rio goes to bed at 7:30 so once the twins are that same like 7:30 we'll be able to like have those nights to ourselves again so I wrote that down and I'm gonna be looking on Pinterest for porch yeah you guys can like play games out there like just have a little you know like a night chill time a little night yeah it's so I just take my I have like I keep my music like my little boom box out there is stuff like but I'm like this is where my when my family comes over and stuff that's where we mostly hang out like we play Jenga we play like all the games in there and stuff yeah it's like my favorite place to be but the kid the the babies are like they don't sleep through the night no [ __ ] no still and they eat every two hours whoever told you my God whoever I'm like no because I did a post on Instagram and I'm like does anyone else have babies that don't because I don't remember Isaac Lincoln they still like on a on a infant schedule type [ __ ] yes and I'm like what are they still considered they're not considered infants anymore right like they're more like when is like the infant stage because I feel like when you're like a couple like months old like almost hitting that nine 10 months like it's weird for me to say infant oh no infant is zero to one oh wow okay so he so they're infants cuz they're 6 months so um oh yeah so it's newborn that's what newborn is up until 3 months yeah okay that's what I'm think so it's newborn and then infant I don't know infant still feels weird for me when you're like 11 months old like for me to be calling you an infant like no you a [ __ ] toddler one at 11 months you're now one like I'm not even we're not doing the 11mon thing anymore you grown like go get a job like go get your own snack that [ __ ] is crazy but yeah no he they don't well let me not say that one of them one of them she Valley wakes up all [ __ ] night long she's up every two hours like a dramatic but she's hitting all of her Milestones now so they were both in PT and then both in um one of them was in had I have a teacher come here on Fridays because they're they were premature and so we want them to hit the Milestones or whatever so they're about to they're hitting pretty much all their like physical milestones and so that's all there so I don't know but Rio was the same way up until he turned one he woke up every two hours what the [ __ ] is going on it's that's funny okay oh damn I was trying to see if they would explode again but that is yeah R was the same way wild I don't know I I could not I couldn't I wish because you just said he went to bed at 7:30 and I was just thinking like how awesome was that like I remember that [ __ ] when BB used to go to bed at like 7:30 like it feels so good cuz you still got some of the night like now the no if it's if it's 8:57 she ain't going to bed till 9:00 like she's like no like I'm counting down every [ __ ] minute I'm like girl just go to bed like I could not could they be over stimulated too like sometimes or maybe they're like throughout the day like sometimes I know like if bie wasn't getting the stimulation she needed like it would affect her bedtime too like her mind would still be kind of go like they still go you know like they still want to do [ __ ] so then that's why they don't sleep or they're just not they don't go into REM sleep I have no idea that's an alandre question it sounds like cuz I have no clue all these [ __ ] kids and you think I'd be an expert no but I do miss those like early nights like yeah B used to be like was very scheduled like as soon as it hit like 7:00 well like at 6:30 it was like bedtime like already putting her in the bath like we would have had dinner already she's all good and then until 7 like she played on the floor a little bit whatever we played with her wore her out and then at 7:30 she was like in and like wouldn't wake up till like like she was just like a really [ __ ] good sleeper I was I always say I was very lucky with her till till this day she likes her sleep so I'm just like okay like I don't even bother her yeah no Lux Lux likes to sleep but he he doesn't give me a hard Creed's we don't well you had a little issue with Creed too remember when you had like that sleep um consultant s consult and everything yeah but it's like when you have more kids they're all going to be so different too like yeah you're you got so many different so different type of personality and like they're just the way they are is so different so like you're going to have those ones that like sleep through the night and then you're going to have those ones that are just like girl man can't live with them can't live without them like what would we even be without our kids sometimes like what would I be doing like what I don't know like I I I feel like I would just be like living just like this Carefree ass [ __ ] life I get what people don't have kids it does like when people are childree I'm like live your [ __ ] life no I the way that I would be traveling I don't even think I would be in America like I would be backpacking through [ __ ] Europe I don't know no but you know like there's like this girl that I had followed on Tik Tok a long time ago and she just like she would just always go on Tik Tok and record like where the [ __ ] she was at and like her newest adventure and like this girl like I don't even know how she had the funds to do all of the [ __ ] but she would just do it like she would just go to [ __ ] Colombia and like like she end falling she fell in love with like one of the guys there and like ended up staying there and then like when she's done with like she'll be on to the next like she just goes to another place and like lives there for a little bit and like makes friends and like she's in the clubs and like she's doing she does so much [ __ ] and I'm like I could literally see myself like just I would have been doing that like I would have just went somewhere and just like lived life and saw like if I liked it or not like I definitely would have done that well it's because when you're in central like if you go to Central America it's so much easier to go to like I'm talking about an American I'm not talking about like people who live in because I know it's harder for them to get visas or passports and stuff but like as an American to be in Central America it's easier to travel there because you're literally going it's just more readily available same thing for Europe like you get on a train and you're in the next country in 40 minutes so that's why Europeans all like they are pretty well traveled I watched this guy on Tik Tok who's from the UK he came over to America and he was like I Now understand why American don't have passports he's like because half these people haven't been to all 50 states and it's there's so much to see here and then it's not as expensive once you're in Europe to travel within Europe um it's the access is there the F like it's not as expensive and then here you're paying $500 $600 per flight within the United States and it's just crazy and then when you get there you have to like rent if you're not driving you got to like rent a car or like get a hotel and like do all these things which is so in expensive in itself sometimes I get embarrassed that I'm like I have not visited all of the 50 states me neither and that's something that I tell like I remember I had a conversation with Joe last year and I was like we need to start doing more like weekend getaways because I want to visit like more of the states within our our C like our country like we haven't been to so many places and one of our friends Mike and Jess every Christmas they don't do like Christmas with gifts and stuff they just do like a they travel to somewhere like in the um United States like they did like National Park and like things like that like they just always explore somewhere new in the United States and I was like that is like the best thing like it's so much fun like and I was like I want to do like I want to visit national parks like I want to go to Arizona and go to the Grand Canyon like there's so many beautiful places here that we have yet to explore and I'm like and we're over here talking about like don't get me wrong I love going to an island and like you know like having fun there but I'm like there's just so much Beauty out here that we have yet to explore and it's like it's right here you know like come to y'all come to a with me I want to go to um Arizona so bad there's like not just the Grand Canyon there's this other thing that I want to see I forget what it's called it's like red Alexandra might know it's like it looks like this like Museum type thing Red Rocks in Sedona that's exactly what I want to go see and I gorgeous I'm obsessed when the when she went one time I told she was going to the Grand Canyon with her family and I had her FaceTime me while she was there cuz that's literally like the first the one thing on my bucket list that I'm like want to do so bad so she called me from there and I was like about to cry cuz it was so stunning like the [ __ ] she even brought a little a little book for me well it was for BB but it was like the Grand Canyon book it was so cute but I'm like I want to go so bad like there's so many beautiful Tahoe is between if I'm not mistaken it's between V not Vegas Nevada and California that's also on my bucket listo and I'm like when am I gonna get the because it's not like we can drive there like we can but not with all our kids so it's just like we'd have to fly flight trip out of the [ __ ] question for a family of nine it like we would have to drive because we have the camper I guess but like also what the [ __ ] like I don't I don't know how we would plan that we just road trip it like just [ __ ] go we or we get like we rent bring your RV like wol ran a [ __ ] RV like just [ __ ] go like that would be so much fun just like explore we could do a baby Mama's like um like a vlog like a tour where we just hit up the different 50 states like that would be so much fun actually [ __ ] hilarious that would be an entire TV show it would be like Parris Hilton and Nikki like the simple life meets the simple life sh Matthews CA Jesus [ __ ] Christ these kids to work on his farm yo that would be so funny oh my gosh I can't like Tahoe and Arizona I'm writing it down manifesting yesing Lake Tahoe for years at this point and it's been Grand Canyon and you want to go so so bad we have to go we got to make it happen we just got to explore more of like our country like where we're actually we go so we go we like to travel like outside so much like go to different islands and go to different countries and stuff but we still have so much to explore here so we need to do that like that needs to be that would be fun wait you forgot to tell me about Jeezy oh okay yeah oh yeah so remember how we talked about Jeezy and jeie last week someone actually wrote in the comments because you know how we talked about how it's not like a sealed case and we feel like it should be so someone actually wrote jeie tried to have the case sealed but jezy wanted it open she only retaliated with the assault and other Secrets after he tried to get full custody of their daughter saying she wasn't active as a parent so I still don't think it's right and I'm also guilty of making those kind of knee-jerk decisions when you're reactions yeah yeah like it's a high complex situation so I do well I understand what like why and like the thought process there yeah um still not smart you know what I mean but for him to not want it sealed is really weird and that shows your intentions like you're trying to be manipulative you're trying to you have ulterior motives and I don't I don't [ __ ] with that and it's like it's not good for any of y'all like you know like none of y'all it's not making her look any worse than it's making you look you know like because all of your [ __ ] is also out there now too and it's not good [ __ ] like so it's like you're not think you're do I don't know if you thought he was like doing something by like making her seem like she's like not a parent that's active in her life or nothing but I don't know I also don't want to be so judgmental because we only see their life on social media you know how we always say like don't believe everything you see on social media or like what it is but she is always like I always see her active with that girl like and she did go on and like after I did hear about him um trying to get full custody and I think a little bit after that people thought that her motives were a little like a little bit um what do you call it she posted like um her and her daughter's morning routine like they have like a yoga morning routine and everything and I think that was her way of saying like if I wasn't like an active parent like I wouldn't have like these routines with my daughter like that's important you know like those routines that you build with your kids and things like that like she has a really close bond with her daughter and that's just me looking from on instagam you know like I see there she they it's no question that they love that little girl like her whole family loves that little girl like that little girl is not unloved you know so right right right I think she did like people were saying oh she's only posting this now because she wants to prove like she's an act and I'm like who givs a if that's what it takes like who cares like yeah she's active in her daughter's life like she wanted to share this moment who cares if it is within 10 like she's got every right at this point because someone's trying to take what like full custody of daughter take away you don't have to like me you do not have to like me to accept that I'm a good mother exactly period it doesn't and and same thing goes for the dads right like Chris it's no secret Chris and I don't like each other but if you're trying with your kids I'm gonna give you credit for that like yeah same thing like why you don't have to like jeie you don't have Jeezy does not have to like her but respect her as your child's mom like why are you trying to prove that she's unfit why are you doing that what is what is the goal here that's why I'm saying there's no like he just didn't look at the bigger picture there I feel I just don't get his goal like what you want to say you want her to look bad you want her to lose credibility like what why why do you want to hurt her so bad I have no idea but I hope these I hope they can get it together because this [ __ ] keeps it just keeps getting crazier and crazier I don't even know this is the longest DM of my life so I'm going to read this to the best of my ability y'all know I stutter a l this is okay I've never seen a I love when y'all Put Your Heart and souls into these DMS okay family secrets have unsurfaced in my life and I just had to share with y'all I'm G to try to explain things as best as I can so please just try to stay with me when I was a child my grandparents on my dad's side were married my grandfather had an intellectual disabled sister who had a daughter that was also intellectually disabled my grandpa I'm already lost I know wait hold on when I was a child my grandparents okay so this is her grandparents on the dad's side like just her grandparents from her dad mom hold on I got to draw this out so the Grandpa's sister grandma so what is that to them great aunt a great aunt and then a great a second cousin maybe what I don't know all right I'm not good at this my grandpa mother was the caretaker for both of them until she passed away after she passed away my grandpa and grandma became their caretakers so my grandpa was the caretaker of his sister and niece okay recently my grandpa passed away it's important to know that my grandma is still alive but they divorced a long time ago the day of my Grandpa's funeral I rode with my mom to it and we spoke of my grandpa I spoke about how I wasn't as close with my grandpa as my cousins and began questioning my mom on why my grandparents had divorced because it was never discussed her reply was quote I don't know if I want to tell you or not end quote in which I begged her to tell me and she caved nothing prepared me for what came out of her mouth I was shook no okay Grandpa what what's going on she proceeded to tell me that my grandma was claiming that my grandpa was sexually abusing his sister and niece so my grandma got their things together and left and never looked back I wish this was the most shocking part of the story but stay tuned it finally started to make sense of why I didn't have a close relationship with my grandfather because my father wouldn't allow it my mom said my grandpa denied everything and my dad his son was in a hard place on what to do now looking back I know why we didn't see my grandpa often in every scenario that we did my dad watched us kids like a hawk and he never left us alone with him my mom and I talked for a minute about the sexual abuse and divorce when she then hit me with quote that's not all we think your grandpa's niece is not actually his niece we think she is also his daughter what the [ __ ] well that explains why she's also intellectually disabled POS potentially oh yeah that's true my jaw fell open I could not comprehend that my grandpa potentially impregnated his sister and Not only was he sexually abusing her but also his daughter slne my mom talked about how it was always kept a secret of who the father was of the baby born to my grandpa's sister it would have been suspicious anyhow because of his sister being disabled she couldn't drive or go out and about without being monitored by someone the only time she would have been alone was in her home with family I was disgusted hearing this but at the same time I'm now desperate for answers I went home and put pictures side by side of my grandfather and his niece possible daughter and when I tell you that they were identical they were identical I don't know how I had never noticed before but imagine if I did I would have chocked it up to her mom being my grandma let me resay that I don't know how I never noticed before but I imagine if I did I would have just chocked it up to her mom being my grandpa's sister she even looks like my dad if everything's true the child would be my dad's first cousin but also his sister I'm desperate to know unfortunately I don't believe there's any way to find out my grandpa's sister died years ago and eventually it got to where my grandma just couldn't take care of her daughter anymore on her own so she put her in a nice facility that took care of her I have no idea where she is today or if my grandma even knows we're also not close anymore so I can't question her about it my dad passed away a few years ago so I can't talk with him and my dad's only other sibling is my aunt who I'm guessing believed my grandpa because she remained very involved with him and allowed her children to be two so I know she wouldn't entertain the idea of trying to get to the bottom of things I'm just so mind blown about everything and it has me thinking even if my dad and his cousin's sister had done DNA testing when my dad was alive would it work without my grandpa being involved yes it would just it would yeah they clearly would share some DNA already because they're first cousins but would it have told them if they shared the same dad so the amount of DNA would tell you that they had the same father so yes um maybe you guys will know this I don't know how DNA stuff works anyway anyhow let me resay that anyhow I don't know what I'm going to do with this information and all I know know is it's going to drive me crazy not knowing for sure I hate having this picture in my head of my grandpa being this person if he wasn't but things definitely don't go look good with the information we do know I love listening to the podcast and I always listen to the stories of how people find out their dad wasn't their dad or they had siblings they didn't know about and I always thought to myself how crazy that must be to find out family secrets like that I never in a million years would have guessed I'd find myself in a predicament of finding out family secrets of my own so wild oh my God they gave me goosebumps yeah I know that's so crazy also I just wanted to add if my grandpa did do these heinous things Karma eventually got got him good a few years after my grandma moved out my grandpa not only became blind from unmaintained diabetes but also diagnosed with Parkinson's which led him to being unable to do anything of on his own and basically never left his house for years before his death anyways that's my family's hidden secret sorry it was so long thank you for taking the time to read it and I hope you guys enjoy your day holy [ __ ] do I have chills I yeah it's crazy because there are so many family members that are in denial in not just my situation but it sounds like this situation and I just can't why are we not why are we in denial about these things is it like a fight ORF flight response that's like I want to protect myself or is it like you genuinely don't believe that could ever be the the case and that technology is lying to you yeah right cuz I don't I don't know I and I'd be the one I'm just I want to get to the bottom of things like I don't care how it looks like I just want to know what the [ __ ] is going on in my family like I want to know all of these things I agree like I just want to know what is going on but as far as the like numbers and the percentages of DNA if there was a way for her to do the DNA test the percentage of DNA that you share with somebody will tell you how close of a relationship so it may get the relationship itself wrong so I have um my half sister is the same amount of DNA as my first cousin so it might say like on 23 and me I think it is or ancest one of them it might say like um what does it say on there I I would pull it up if I had it in front of me um it might say like possible first cousin or it might it'll tell you the suggested relations you know what I mean so I have the same amount not like full so they're kind of they have to kind of assume at that point like this is what the DNA is towards basically like it'll give you 23 and me specifically will give you like the range of percentages and the potential relation to and the potential relationship that that amount of DNA could have so a first cousin and a half sister might be the same um or that makes sense or it might be because it gets really convoluted with like first cousin once removed second cousin third cousin I have um my first cousin once removed some people will call it a second cousin so the ancestry situation that I did 23 and me and ancestry said that it the P the the suggested relation was third cousin but it's actually like she's actually my first cousin once removed or my second cousin so it does get a little bit tricky but if you just Google the percentages you'll be able to figure it out pretty easily that's insane I don't even I don't even know what I would do I just feel bad cuz it's like she's a person that sees this type of [ __ ] and it's like oh you you always think like this isn't going to be I'm not going to find anything out about like my family and it's like her grandfather like it's like a close you know it's not like it's a so far off relative like that's that's insane to me I don't know what I would do if I found out anything about cuz that's her aunt it's not like that would be her aunt because it's her dad's half sister yeah but also it's her cousin Aunt it's her cousin and her aunt her cousin and yeah because it would be her brother it would be her dad's sister and niece right or cousin I think that's what she said yeah she said daughter slash a or something that's sick that is so sick and on that note thanks for hanging out with us today yeah thanks baby M Baby M see we'll see you guys next week

Channel: Kail and the Chaos

Views: 6,273

Keywords: Baby Mamas No Drama Podcast, BMND Podcast, Baby Mamas, Kail Lowry, Vee Rivera

Id: EWHmWaVHXGE

Length: 61min 29sec (3689 seconds)

Published: Wed May 29 2024